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Thursday Trivia: Why Are Wall Street Economists Paid Millions Of Dollars?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The answer: to be horrible weathermen.

Behold:

In retrospect, it is hardly surprising that two years ago in a head to head between Joe LaVorgna and the world's most famous weatherman, Groundhog Phil, the Deutsche Bank cheerleader was solidly trounced.

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Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:52 | 4457433 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

This guy is either very stupid or has no conscience left...

But me thinks - it's both...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:00 | 4457477 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Either way, ZH revealed him for what he is...the back end of a donkey.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:04 | 4457490 SoberOne
SoberOne's picture

They are paid to dupe people into believing what is real. I.e Paul Krugman.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:07 | 4457509 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

the weather?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:26 | 4457532 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

If Joe LaVagina were a WWE wrestler he would be called "The Weatherman".  Bringing loud noise and bright lights where ever he goes!

Joe Lavagina walks into an almost empty stadium.  Only Paul Krugman sits in a chair, eating a large buttered popcorn in a dimly lit arena.

"I am LaVagina and I bring with me the science of economics!  Due to weather problems the economy has fallen short of expectations!"

"Yippie!"  Cheered Paul Krugman.

"But we do have forward guidence - based on stock market prices and manipulated employment records - up for the next 20 quarters!"

"Well said!"  Screamed Krugman.

Then, in a flash, LaVagina ran off of the stage, only to be see next quarter when he would spout the same bullshit.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:27 | 4457594 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

obviously, he's over tipping his barber...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 14:37 | 4458468 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

LaVorgna is on zerohedge... his handle is FONESTAR..

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 17:58 | 4459404 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Just BTFBW. 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 18:07 | 4459433 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

 

He looks like Mr. Potato Head not much the barber can do

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 06:20 | 4461183 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm Groundhog barbering...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 14:17 | 4458292 DavrosoftheDaleks
DavrosoftheDaleks's picture

That's a dis to the fine charisma of people like Superstar Billy Graham:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uth3Its6tUA

I'd invest whatever the hell he said I should buy. Actually I hocked my TV after hearing this...

 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:16 | 4457547 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

A 51% win/lose ratio??

 

Wow, imagine the possibilities you could reap with such an advantage.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:26 | 4457587 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

aren't millions minimum wage on wall street?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:45 | 4457692 Drachma
Drachma's picture

Why not make up the low spread on a high volume of predictions? ;)

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:17 | 4457553 HamRove
HamRove's picture

I remember when Alan Greenspan came out to the media not too long ago and said the economy was "Broken" Suddenly Krugman swooped in and attacked him in a separate article saying Greenspan was the "Worst" FED chairman ever...

This happened late last year.

Krugman tows the banker line, nothing more. His WHORENESS runs deep.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 19:24 | 4459743 Rip van Wrinkle
Rip van Wrinkle's picture

The perception deception.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:06 | 4457500 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

just call him what he is:  DEEP THROAT

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:11 | 4457528 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

That works on so many levels....

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:06 | 4457502 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

This guy LaVorgna looks like he is wearing a beaver on top of his head. Maybe he should have done a deal with Punxsutawney Phil and just let Phil sit on his head and whisper in his ear.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:25 | 4457579 petolo
petolo's picture

The North end of a donkey heading South or is it the road apples he left behind.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:08 | 4457835 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

All economists at these tbtf institutions are sell outs.  they will write whwt their pay masters tell them to

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 20:33 | 4459985 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Young Joseph is a douchebag

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 23:23 | 4460655 PT
PT's picture

Bingo Groundhog Day.  They are paid propagandists.  TPTB tell them their plans.  The Economists are paid to reword it in a form that pretends to be good for the public.  "Ve haf scientific proof zat you vil be richer if only you are poorer!"  ( And apologies to all people out there who speak English with a thick German accent ;)     )

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 23:31 | 4460680 PT
PT's picture

...

"We let you borrow more money.   Now it is "more affordable".

If Marie Antoinette were alive today, she would not allegedly have said, "Let them eat cake".  The media would proudly be proclaiming she said, "Let them eat crumbs."  Proof?  "Trickle-Down Effect".  I never understood how they got away with that one.  It sounded loud and clear to me, so in case there is anyone out there that still doesn't get it, forgive me while I say it again :

"TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT" = "LET THEM EAT CRUMBS".

Why did the media never pick up on that???  Someone should have said it yeeeeeeeeeeears ago. 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 23:34 | 4460692 PT
PT's picture

The real economists are unemployed.  The employed economists are propagandists.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 16:46 | 4459117 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Someone needs to seriously spam his twitbutt account.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 18:17 | 4459473 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

@ Obchelli,

Na, he's just a Douche Bag!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 18:31 | 4459524 NoPasaran
NoPasaran's picture

There is no "either...or", it is all "no conscience left".

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:52 | 4457435 Payne
Payne's picture

Economists are horrible on purpose so that you need JP Morgan and the FED for guidance.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:00 | 4457473 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Their job is to be the fake guy who wins in three card Monte while the mark is watching.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:15 | 4457543 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Hey, he offers this unique insight for FREE.

In the land of the blind (this guy) the one eyed man is king. Keep both eyes peeled.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 16:01 | 4458926 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

I thought Wall Street controlled the weather? Doesn't Blythe Masters have the remote control to move a commodity markets with a push of a button?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:53 | 4457436 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

LaVorngna looks like a semi-grown white Urkel.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:56 | 4457457 superflex
superflex's picture

Look at the head on that potato.

Mom needed a few extra stitches after pushing out that alien.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:06 | 4457504 SteveGennisonBa...
SteveGennisonBallWasher's picture

haha. Love it.  Kinda like Geitner and Beavis.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:08 | 4457518 superflex
superflex's picture

I bet he liked to burn FRN's and chant Fire, Fire, Fire!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:16 | 4457549 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

While using it as TP.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:20 | 4457562 SoberOne
SoberOne's picture

For his bunghole.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:00 | 4457474 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

The new Al bRoker...weather reports and bad investment advice, all in one!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:53 | 4457442 OwnSilverPlayMusic
OwnSilverPlayMusic's picture

You guys missed this one:

 

Feb 19

Jan housing starts fell -16% (880k) while permits were down a lesser -5% (937k). Harsh wintry winter was clearly a factor dampening activity.

 

Harsh wintry winter? WOW

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:15 | 4457544 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

He sounds stoned to me.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:54 | 4457444 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

The groundhog is cuter and has more personality as well.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:59 | 4457786 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

They both bite.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:55 | 4457453 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If he loses his job as an economist, he could always get a job as a drive-in movie screen...his forehead is more like a fiveandahalfhead. 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:57 | 4457458 Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

Silly me ... and I thought it was to give cover to theft and fraud under the guise of superior and reputable education.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:00 | 4457465 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

LaVorgna goes to the gun range. His first shot is 5 feet left of the target. Second shot is 5 feet to the right. He yells "BULLSEYE!"

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:08 | 4457513 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

....and he sticks out his hand and says, "Pay me."

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:01 | 4457478 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

#askLaVagina

Why for did ONLINE retail sales fall 0.6% in January.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 14:56 | 4458598 halfawake
halfawake's picture

weather froze the bits running through the internet.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 18:19 | 4459476 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

^ #AskMt.Gox ^

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