Friday Humor: Is It Racist? Microsoft Office Edition

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h/t @NihilarianZH

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Fri, 02/21/2014 - 16:54 | 4463054 Blazed
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Dey be raaaaycissss!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:01 | 4463095 Skateboarder
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Off the top of your head, name one Asian person you know who is not good at calculators or Excel.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:02 | 4463104 slotmouth
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Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:04 | 4463121 Skateboarder
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Okay, other than Abe.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:05 | 4463126 cougar_w
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lol that was funny

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:01 | 4463355 chumbawamba
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Yo, dem bruthas aint gots time fo all dat extra intraducktaree and advanced shit, B!  Dey jus need ta be printin' out da liner notes fo dey mixtapes n shit, yo!

I be Chumblezwumblez, bitch!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:38 | 4463452 wintermute
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What's the difference between "Essential" and "Introductory"?

Or is it just Microsoft meaningless buzzword crap..?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:02 | 4463501 Antifaschistische
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This makes NO sense at all!    Everyone knows that Asians are WAY too smart to ever pay for software.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:59 | 4463680 TeamDepends
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Your skin is black metallic.  Turn it up!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:50 | 4464110 The Vineyard
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Listen carefully!  Racism is no joke.  Bitches.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:30 | 4464221 BringOnTheAsteroid
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There's a Lebanese (sorry translation required - Leb), a Syrian and a Egyptian in a car, whose driving?




The police.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:37 | 4464239 BringOnTheAsteroid
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A Jew, an Arab and an American walk into a bar and the barman says: "What's this, some sort of joke or something".



Sat, 02/22/2014 - 04:10 | 4464566 jbvtme
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or a meeting to take out the world trade center...

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:01 | 4464761 SoilMyselfRotten
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Oh no you dit-int imply that!

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 14:45 | 4465601 TruthInSunshine
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It's "I know dat you di-int!!! I know dat you woooo-int!!!"


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 02:00 | 4464466 Advoc8tr
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Boy says to his Dad "why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aint green?"

Dad replies "its just a saying, son. Its like when somebody is caught stealing something they say they have been caught 'red handed' even though their hands are actually black"


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 03:21 | 4464533 BringOnTheAsteroid
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That was a good one.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:56 | 4464127 Fish Gone Bad
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One of the black males has an earing in his RIGHT ear.  So I guess that makes him gay, since he is with another male... 

Perhaps Microsoft is making an Essentially Gay Black version of office?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:26 | 4464216 BringOnTheAsteroid
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On Abe's calculator when he divides 1 by 0 he doesn;t get an error. Is that his fault or Sharp's fault? 

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:05 | 4464281 Jadr
Jadr's picture

I'm pretty sure that social trends change and what was once indicative of someone being gay is no longer true given that the younger generation tends to forget/ignore the preconceived notions of the older generations.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:38 | 4464343 SilverIsKing
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Forget about the guy with the earring. It's the other guy who's gay. Look at that goddamn haircut!

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 03:24 | 4464542 BringOnTheAsteroid
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Should we be talking about this?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 08:47 | 4464696 Bendromeda Strain
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Haircut? I thought it was a pillbox hat...

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:08 | 4464770 SoilMyselfRotten
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I thought they were marketing to washed up rappers, isn't that Kid'n'Play?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 12:31 | 4465126 it aint easy
it aint easy's picture

Look at the 'fros on those!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:28 | 4463586 ThirdCoastSurfer
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What's the real difference between Windows 95, 13 and a free patch? 

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:02 | 4463693 gmrpeabody
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Uhh..., the bucket?

Oh, wait.., wrong joke.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 13:39 | 4463628 LMAOLORI
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Microsoft Essentials is free software  < link opens in new window 

"Windows Essentials Do more with free programs from Windows"


you can get free virus protection for example. 



Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:58 | 4464133 Ranger4564
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These are books about Microsoft Office, about the features. The buzzword crap came from the authors and is intended to differentiate the level of complexity to be discussed in the books. 

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:11 | 4464844 gmrpeabody
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Gee..., thanks Mr. Wizzard.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:29 | 4464797 g speed
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at wintermute

Can't you see---"Essential" is for terminally stupid blacks as in "don't sell me no shit I don't need", and "Intoductory" is for marginally stupid whites as in "I'll try it but if I don't like it I'm outta here",  and FYI the "top of the line"  version is for the brilliant yellow races like those in North Korea and Tepco workers and Japanese game show participants ---you know-- the new Asian rulers of the world. Ad people are disconnected beyond belief or are selling their ad product to execs in companies like MS who haven't a clue about their customers. Fact is only reason anyone buys MS is cause you need to opertate most new laptops----that will last until you don't.   

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:13 | 4464850 gmrpeabody
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And any poor white anglo-saxon  protestant male must be so stupid as to not even qualify to be included in a picture.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 18:39 | 4466326 libsareajoke
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please.... they are using excel to compute the terminal ballistics of a fo-fo fired from a distance of 4 feet, or maybe a fo-fi

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:10 | 4463723 stant
stant's picture

yes it was. took a shot with that

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:09 | 4463144 Bananamerican
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Kim Jong-un

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:10 | 4463150 Skateboarder
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He's good at video games. Does that count?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:24 | 4463210 Never One Roach
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Where's Oprah!? Ever since she pumped her man Barry we haven't heard much from her.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:54 | 4463332 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture


Ho Chi Min

That japanese guy from Pretty in Pink

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:09 | 4463517 A Nanny Moose
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Long Duk Dong /Gong Clash

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:41 | 4463633 Creepy Lurker
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"No more nookie! The Donger need food!"


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:18 | 4463742 Blano
Blano's picture

I thought it was "no more yankee my winkee" but I get it.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:32 | 4464330 WakeUpPeeeeeople
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Wun Hung Lo

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:08 | 4463519 A Nanny Moose
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Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:08 | 4463371 chumbawamba
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I think she's been busy getting pumped by Steadman.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:24 | 4463419 Calmyourself
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Steadman is banging nobody but the poolboy, Oprahs is fist deep in something and its not Steadman.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:52 | 4463663 LMAOLORI
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No she's gone back to Gayle King

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:25 | 4463225 BLOTTO
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Long Duk Dong

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:36 | 4463276 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

Maybe I'm the only one who got that... [SUCKS 4 me ~ I guess]...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:08 | 4463712 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

No more yankee my wankee -- the Donger need food!!!


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