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Friday Humor: Is It Racist? Microsoft Office Edition

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h/t @NihilarianZH


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Fri, 02/21/2014 - 16:54 | 4463054 Blazed
Blazed's picture

Dey be raaaaycissss!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:01 | 4463095 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Off the top of your head, name one Asian person you know who is not good at calculators or Excel.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:02 | 4463104 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:04 | 4463121 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Okay, other than Abe.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:05 | 4463126 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

lol that was funny

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:01 | 4463355 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Yo, dem bruthas aint gots time fo all dat extra intraducktaree and advanced shit, B!  Dey jus need ta be printin' out da liner notes fo dey mixtapes n shit, yo!

I be Chumblezwumblez, bitch!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:38 | 4463452 wintermute
wintermute's picture

What's the difference between "Essential" and "Introductory"?

Or is it just Microsoft meaningless buzzword crap..?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:02 | 4463501 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

This makes NO sense at all!    Everyone knows that Asians are WAY too smart to ever pay for software.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:59 | 4463680 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Your skin is black metallic.  Turn it up!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:50 | 4464110 The Vineyard
The Vineyard's picture

Listen carefully!  Racism is no joke.  Bitches.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:30 | 4464221 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

There's a Lebanese (sorry translation required - Leb), a Syrian and a Egyptian in a car, whose driving?




The police.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:37 | 4464239 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

A Jew, an Arab and an American walk into a bar and the barman says: "What's this, some sort of joke or something".



Sat, 02/22/2014 - 04:10 | 4464566 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

or a meeting to take out the world trade center...

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:01 | 4464761 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Oh no you dit-int imply that!

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 14:45 | 4465601 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

It's "I know dat you di-int!!! I know dat you woooo-int!!!"


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 02:00 | 4464466 Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

Boy says to his Dad "why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aint green?"

Dad replies "its just a saying, son. Its like when somebody is caught stealing something they say they have been caught 'red handed' even though their hands are actually black"


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 03:21 | 4464533 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

That was a good one.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:56 | 4464127 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

One of the black males has an earing in his RIGHT ear.  So I guess that makes him gay, since he is with another male... 

Perhaps Microsoft is making an Essentially Gay Black version of office?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:26 | 4464216 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

On Abe's calculator when he divides 1 by 0 he doesn;t get an error. Is that his fault or Sharp's fault? 

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:05 | 4464281 Jadr
Jadr's picture

I'm pretty sure that social trends change and what was once indicative of someone being gay is no longer true given that the younger generation tends to forget/ignore the preconceived notions of the older generations.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:38 | 4464343 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Forget about the guy with the earring. It's the other guy who's gay. Look at that goddamn haircut!

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 03:24 | 4464542 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Should we be talking about this?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 08:47 | 4464696 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Haircut? I thought it was a pillbox hat...

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:08 | 4464770 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

I thought they were marketing to washed up rappers, isn't that Kid'n'Play?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 12:31 | 4465126 it aint easy
it aint easy's picture

Look at the 'fros on those!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:28 | 4463586 ThirdCoastSurfer
ThirdCoastSurfer's picture

What's the real difference between Windows 95, 13 and a free patch? 

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:02 | 4463693 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Uhh..., the bucket?

Oh, wait.., wrong joke.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 13:39 | 4463628 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture




Microsoft Essentials is free software  < link opens in new window 

"Windows Essentials Do more with free programs from Windows"


you can get free virus protection for example. 



Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:58 | 4464133 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

These are books about Microsoft Office, about the features. The buzzword crap came from the authors and is intended to differentiate the level of complexity to be discussed in the books. 

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:11 | 4464844 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Gee..., thanks Mr. Wizzard.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:29 | 4464797 g speed
g speed's picture

at wintermute

Can't you see---"Essential" is for terminally stupid blacks as in "don't sell me no shit I don't need", and "Intoductory" is for marginally stupid whites as in "I'll try it but if I don't like it I'm outta here",  and FYI the "top of the line"  version is for the brilliant yellow races like those in North Korea and Tepco workers and Japanese game show participants ---you know-- the new Asian rulers of the world. Ad people are disconnected beyond belief or are selling their ad product to execs in companies like MS who haven't a clue about their customers. Fact is only reason anyone buys MS is cause you need to opertate most new laptops----that will last until you don't.   

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:13 | 4464850 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

And any poor white anglo-saxon  protestant male must be so stupid as to not even qualify to be included in a picture.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 18:39 | 4466326 libsareajoke
libsareajoke's picture

please.... they are using excel to compute the terminal ballistics of a fo-fo fired from a distance of 4 feet, or maybe a fo-fi

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:10 | 4463723 stant
stant's picture

yes it was. took a shot with that

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:09 | 4463144 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Kim Jong-un

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:10 | 4463150 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

He's good at video games. Does that count?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:24 | 4463210 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Where's Oprah!? Ever since she pumped her man Barry we haven't heard much from her.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:54 | 4463332 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture


Ho Chi Min

That japanese guy from Pretty in Pink

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:09 | 4463517 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Long Duk Dong /Gong Clash

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:41 | 4463633 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

"No more nookie! The Donger need food!"


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:18 | 4463742 Blano
Blano's picture

I thought it was "no more yankee my winkee" but I get it.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:32 | 4464330 WakeUpPeeeeeople
WakeUpPeeeeeople's picture

Wun Hung Lo

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:08 | 4463519 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:08 | 4463371 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I think she's been busy getting pumped by Steadman.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:24 | 4463419 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Steadman is banging nobody but the poolboy, Oprahs is fist deep in something and its not Steadman.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:52 | 4463663 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture





No she's gone back to Gayle King

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:25 | 4463225 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Long Duk Dong

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:36 | 4463276 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

Maybe I'm the only one who got that... [SUCKS 4 me ~ I guess]...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:08 | 4463712 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

No more yankee my wankee -- the Donger need food!!!


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:18 | 4463746 Blano
Blano's picture

Beat me to it, sorry.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:00 | 4464140 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    I doubt " Hop Sing" from Bonanza was very good at math...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:55 | 4463337 graneros
graneros's picture

I'm thinkin' a "touche" was in order there.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:23 | 4463415 cro_maat
cro_maat's picture

All of the Tepco executives.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 07:56 | 4464660 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

"Okay, other than Abe."

The clown running China's central bank

all those clowns taking out trillions of $$ of loans for their businesses in China

All those clowns taking out huge loans to buy housing in China.

We are already at a few million people here!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:25 | 4463229 Kavklov
Kavklov's picture

Fucking Excellent!!!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:32 | 4463264 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture




What? No Gays or Transgenders?!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:47 | 4463309 JoeSexPack
JoeSexPack's picture

2 guys at left.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 02:14 | 4464488 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Double racist ad.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 14:21 | 4465509 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Gays or transgendered are a race?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 04:17 | 4464570 -NaN-
-NaN-'s picture


nice one :)

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:10 | 4463155 akak
akak's picture


Off the top of your head, name one Asian person you know who is not good at calculators or Excel.

Do you literally mean "Asian", as in inclusive of Turks, Israelis, Arabs, Indians, Russians, etc. etc.?  Or "Orientals"?

Where is this misuse of the broad word "Asian" to mean ONLY "Orientals" coming from?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:14 | 4463175 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

From the California coast as far as I am aware.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:59 | 4463350 graneros
graneros's picture

I kinda like the word "celestials."  N'est-ce pas?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:12 | 4463727 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Funny how it usually seems to be Caucasian adults telling other adults what words other races would prefer to be referred to as -- as if they can speak on behalf of all these other folks.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:52 | 4463811 akak
akak's picture

All the Orientals I know just naturally refer to themselves as "Orientals", and laugh --- or even get indignant --- at this ridiculous and geographically-ignorant PC bullshit that labels them "Asian" --- as if the Turks, and Arabs, and Israelis, and Persians, and Indians, and Pakistanis, and Georgians, and Armenians, and Russians, and all the other inhabitants of the continent of Asia do not exist.

Get it through your thick PC-muddled heads, all you idiots downarrowing me on this subject --- the continent of Asia consists of FAR more than just the Orient!  Go look at a fucking map or a globe if you don't believe me.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:18 | 4464306 CognacAndMencken
CognacAndMencken's picture

You're a complete idiot.

Oriental means "eastern," or east of Europe. There is not a single Asian that would refer to himself in terms of his geographic position relative to Europe. Only dumb, right-wing hillbillies make this mistake. Oriental is an adjective that describes a geographic region or a culture, NOT a person... e.g. Oriental vase, Oriental rug, etc. In fact, most Asians would be offended if you called them Orientals.

You really have a penchant for making a total fool of yourself.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:43 | 4464328 akak
akak's picture

If you seek an idiot, please look in the mirror.

The word "Oriental", meaing "of the East", is no more offensive or racist or ethno-centric than the (less commonly used) word "Occidental", meaning "of the West", pertaining to Europeans and their descendants wherever found in the world.

EVERY Oriental or person of Oriental heritage whom I know either refers to themself as Oriental, or else is indifferent to the term.  However, some of them DO take some offense at being called "Asian" when "Oriental" is really meant, as they rightfully acknowledge that the Orient does not constitute ALL of Asia.

And anyway, you PC dipshit, what does it matter, and how is it some kind of offense, if the word "Oriental" WERE ethno-centric in regards to Europeans and their descendants?  I have news for you, asshole: MANY of the words various ethnic groups around the world use to refer to themselves translate as "The People", or "The Real People", implying that all those of other tribes or ethnicities are somehow not "real people".  Yet I have never heard anyone from outside these groups take offense at this linguistic habit.  In fact, many Orientals themselves, by their own admissions, are FAR more racist and ethno-centric than most Westerners (oops, there I go again!), commonly using such phrases as "foreign devils" to refer to all those not of their culture or ethnicity.  Where is your hypocritical outrage over that?

It is ONLY on the hyper-PC West Coast of the USA that I have ever encountered this ignorant "Asian=Oriental" nonsense.  Please take your politically-correct obfuscations and redefinitions and shove them up your hyper-hypocritical PC ass.

And oh, by the way, speaking of supposed prejudice and ethnic bias, not to mention hate, this same poster is the one who blamed the decline of the USA on ignorant Southern rednecks:

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:36 | 4464339 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Actually, you're the idiot.  Oriental was certainly used to mean people from the Orient from the late middle ages until the 1970s when the PC police made the distinction you are making.  So, for hundreds of years, it was simply a word used without controversy, then some college professors decided to make a thing of it.

Oriental as an adjective absolutely was used to describe a person, and completely properly so based on the Latin root.  If the direction was relative to Europe, it's hard to see why this, alone, makes it "racist" given other terms that are not.  China referred to itself as the Middle Kingdom  (meaning, in part, geography).  Jews use gentile and goy to refer to all people but them - a blanket term for "the other" absent in most languages - is that "racist" too?  Gentile regards "the other" in the same exact way "oriental" was deemed to be.

Double standards for you though I bet, eh?

Do you refrain from using the term Australian?  No - no you don't you cunt, do you?  Same geospatially orientated kind of term as oriental

What I think is racist, is you purporting to know what "most Asians" - by which you must mean East Asians, you ignorant slut - think about the matter. 

As someone whose dated a lot of oriental girls, I don't recall polling them, but don't recall it ever coming up as one of their major pet peeves. As someone who actually has studied philology, I can tell you most of what you said was just wrong.


It's language police cunts like you that is watering down what "racism" even means. 


Man I hate fucks like you, so eager to present yourselves as the champions of linguistic morality when all you are doing is parroting some shit some liberal white upper class twit told you in your sociology class.


Fuck you.  Fuck you forever with your trivial cuntery.



Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:08 | 4464361 akak
akak's picture

Bravo Johnny!

And I totally agree, these hypocritical, arrogant and ignorant PC thought police need to be cast into some bottomless pit.  They typify, and are a big part of, the moral and intellectual rot so prevalent today.

Oh, but according to Cognac, we are going to have to rename North and South America, and Antarctica too, as all those names refer to a place in reference to someplace else --- and that, apparently, is not only racist and ethno-centric but outright evil (the fact that this pattern is very common in almost every language, not just English, is apparently beyond his self-righteous concern)  Why, I cannot tell you, but logic has very little to do with the collectivist mentality and its inevitable offspring, political correctness.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 10:49 | 4464811 g speed
g speed's picture

at  johnny cocknballs

I too have dated many oriental girls and they have always given me their opinion, whether polled or not,-- which could be put into two catagories --the first being "yoou fuckin number ten GI" and the second being "yoou number one GI" ---depending only on the size of my wallet. but that was a long time ago and things may have changed

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:56 | 4464461 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

All the Orientals I know just naturally refer to themselves as "Orientals", and laugh --- or even get indignant --- at this ridiculous and geographically-ignorant PC bullshit that labels them "Asian" --- as if the Turks, and Arabs, and Israelis, and Persians, and Indians, and Pakistanis, and Georgians, and Armenians, and Russians, and all the other inhabitants of the continent of Asia do not exist.

OK, OK! How 'bout gooks?


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 02:03 | 4464471 akak
akak's picture

Why are you trying to equate the neutral and sensible word "Oriental" with the derogatory word "gook"?

And you defenders of PC here STILL have not addressed the matter that "Asia", which is a continent, consists of MUCH more than just the Orient, so by referring to "Asians" you are logically referring to not just Orientals but also Turks, and Arabs, and Indians, and many other inhabitants of the continent of Asia as well. 

Any response, or the usual crickets from the PC crowd?

I am glad that I am riling up some of you self-righteous and ignorant PC bastards with this issue.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 04:01 | 4464558 wahrheit
wahrheit's picture

For some time, "Mongoloid" was the descriptive term used on birth certificates and such.  Just throwing that in there.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:16 | 4463179 macholatte
macholatte's picture


I have been trying to teach my children simple geography for years. The politically correct schools have the upper hand. Brainwashing. It's what's for dinner.


Using the term oriental is racist.  The word negro is racist. Caucasian is an unknown.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:18 | 4463197 macholatte
macholatte's picture


When you look at advertising, take particular note of the paring of "white" females with non-white males.  Rarely will you see a "white" male with a non-white female.  Brainwashing.  It's what's for dinner.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:27 | 4463244 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Also, the white male is always the buffoon or the clueless male who needs the help of a woman to make it through life. Black males are portayed as cool, hip, smooth and polished. 

In the pic above, they made damn sure the blacks were placed above the whites as far as computer literacy, when the reality is exactly the opposite.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:40 | 4463290 pods
pods's picture

Not on Law and Order. On there they are always the cocky guy who did it.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:10 | 4463374 funthea
funthea's picture

And Notice too, in the movies all the judges, police cheifs and presidents are almost always black. To such a point it is more than obvious.

And don't get me started on the ADT home security commercials, where the perp in all their comercials is always a white guy.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:37 | 4464076 chemystical
chemystical's picture

" the movies all the judges....almost always black".

Are you sure?  Seems to be an over-representation of jews on the boob tube benches.  Even moreso than in real life.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:42 | 4463292 macholatte
macholatte's picture


is there any correlation between the picture of two black males and the word essential?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:12 | 4463382 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Essentially, those are the two black males not yet in prison.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:27 | 4463425 holmes
holmes's picture

Like Moe, the one black guy ought to sue his barber.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:14 | 4463732 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Well played! +10

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:42 | 4463295 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

To add to Meats comment...

A lot of commercials these days via the controlled MSM, especially the bank ones (TD, CIbC, etc...), portray the white male as a bumbling weakling, while the wife is the dominant. All part of the brainwashing...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:02 | 4463361 Edelweiss
Edelweiss's picture

My brother calls it reality.  He is a high wage earner, more educated than his wife, more likeable, and struggles to please her.  At our last family get together at my mother's house, he and my stepfather did the dishes after dinner, while "the girls" made small talk.  The guys also assisted my mother in making dinner.  At one point, my sister in law commented that someone we know is "just a paycheck" to his family.  She followed up with, "nothing wrong with that", with much laughter from her, my mom, and my sister.  UM....fuck that.  I'm the only guy who will butt heads with the women in my family over their pop culture bullshit perception of men.  That probably explains why I'm also frequently a target of "the girls".  If you have to surrender your dignity to keep the peace, there should be no peace.  Men who incessantly try to appease the women in their lives are fools.  Ever notice how they get less respect as a rule than the "asshole" type?  Ask me how I know. 

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:17 | 4463401 erkme73
erkme73's picture

Lots to learn Grasshoppa....  You can be right, or you can be happy.  I choose happy.  But then again, I've been emasculated.  I worked 17 years earning good money to put the wife through medical school.  She is now the sole breadwinner (and making plenty too).  I can live with being her bitch.  Life is sweet.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:32 | 4463439 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Dude, this is Fight Club.  Afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:17 | 4463741 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Tyler Durden: We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:44 | 4463933 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Lots to learn Grasshoppa....  You can be right, or you can be happy.  I choose happy.  But then again, I've been emasculated.  I worked 17 years earning good money to put the wife through medical school.  She is now the sole breadwinner (and making plenty too).  I can live with being her bitch.  Life is sweet."


Well who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 04:03 | 4464561 wahrheit
wahrheit's picture

(Written by a gay guy)

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:21 | 4464412 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

good for you.  that's the dream right there.  My lady supported me for 8 months while I worked on a non-paying project. 

Granted, no one should have their potential squandered due to their gender, but housewives really had the better part of the deal.  1/3, at least, of feminist gripes were absolute horseshit.


And there are no feminists on lifeboats.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:07 | 4464836 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Gloria Steinam was a CIA operative.

Enough said.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:21 | 4463411 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Edelweiss, the day I changed my attitude my wife sensed it and voila, it changed.  

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:45 | 4463467 cro_maat
cro_maat's picture

I'm with you on that. I sat down with my wife early on in our marriage (22 years and counting) and asked her what was non-negotiable. She told me. Then I laid out was non-negotiable for me. We agreed to respect those items, discuss all other matters reasonably and to always have each others backs even with our children and especially with the in-laws LOL. My life is stress free.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:20 | 4463558 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Did the exact same thing. We only had one nonnegotiable. NO AFFAIRS. If,at any point, if one found someone they rather be with then we would divorce amicably and admit we weren't meant to be. We waited 7 years before having kids to make sure because kids in the game brings it to a whole new level. Funny thing, we really didn't need to make the line in the sand at all. When you entwine yourself in love honor and respect for another the necessity of rules fades and you intuitively respond to each other's needs.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:33 | 4463607 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Do you still get laid regularly?  Sex in and of itself does not make a relationship, but it is important.  I have so many married buddies that haven't had sex in years but won't go find it elswhere (which is admirable).  Why get married to never have sex again?  Why get married so someone can be your boss.  Stay single, do what you want and have sex just about whenever you want with someone new on a regular basis. I'm jaded from experience...if the right woman came alon I would much prefer an intimate (in more ways than just physical) loving and long term relationship...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:54 | 4463666 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Sex is absolutely essential in a marriage. It uber critical! Women don't generally get this but a man expresses his love and bonding through sex. Women express bonding through talking. So if you with hold sex you with hold the ability of a man to love and bond. I laugh at women who try to make their men into chatty girlfriends and use sex as a weapon. Take about shoot yourself in the head. And they have the gall to complain to me their men don't value them like my husband does me. You reap what you sew Sweetcakes.

Sex is great but without intimacy it is shallow. Intimate sex is vibrant, spiritual and awe inspiring. Find the right woman and experience a world unexpectedly transcendent. My husband jokes he can talk to me about a complicated subject on ZH over dinner and then experience sex with me like having a high class Call Girl. Perhaps my skill is simply being many different women at once.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:06 | 4463706 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Testify, sister!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:26 | 4463762 Blano
Blano's picture

There you go making me jealous of your hubby again.

Sun, 02/23/2014 - 17:53 | 4463479 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

by golly Edelweiss, you've just invented a new acronym.    Just-a-Paycheck = JAP

I've got them all over my neighborhood in 77024.   Hot wife with some goon looking lawyer dude that drives an Aston.  He's JAP dude.

but you know what...ultimately, she pays for it too, because as their kids age and she figures out that her two daughters are 'but ugly' due to the JAP inbreeding...she gets depressed when they don't make the cheerleader squad and ends up on three different anti-depressants.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:29 | 4463590 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

This makes me apprciate Charlie Sheen's philosophy of women.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:01 | 4463844 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Maybe Ray Rice will be giving lessons ...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:56 | 4463959 Brutlstrudl
Brutlstrudl's picture

;Gary US Bonds had it right

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:49 | 4463317 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Advertising is not about expressing reality, but about connecting to an inadiquite personal image, or personal desire, and connecting a product to it being met.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:54 | 4463336 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

And believe me when i say im not trying to be insensitive or disrespectful to all our beautiful women out there. The message is more complicated and its deceiving even to the ladies...

This shit is affecting us all - men/women/children.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:31 | 4463599 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I quickly turned off the tv permanently blotto when I saw the obvious denigrating portrayal of men especially whites. Not all of us women are so easily fooled. I stand in solidarity with men after witnessing the horrible injustices done to them daily. It disgusts me. You may see more women becoming enlightened soon. Healthcare, a predominantly woman dominated field, is in shambles. I know lay offs are coming very soon. I am not sure if I will survive and if I do, I will shoulder the work of my laid off colleagues ( 90% of clinical microbiologists are women). This may wake up a few. Hopefully their resultant anger is properly placed. Many have laid off husbands.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:03 | 4463697 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Miffed, as a microbiologist you obviously are not easily fooled.  Same can't be said for all too many of your SWPL sisters.


You say it's mainly White men who are portrayed as bumbling idiots?  Let me ask you, when have you seen a black depicted as such?  No, blacks in the MSM are always portrayed as smart and cool, and they're always doctors or scientists and engineers.  You know, just like in real life.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:10 | 4463858 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, the only counter to your argument I can think of or Urkel on Family Matters but that is a little dated. And probably the character was created more tongue in cheek. The duplicity of the MSM in furthering the PC/ feminist agenda is self evident. Turn it off and save yourself. I've never regretted doing so.


Sat, 02/22/2014 - 11:04 | 4464829 g speed
g speed's picture

Theres no ulterior motive here--its just the demographics of the TV audience. It's showing what makes most of the viewers feel good about themselves.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:24 | 4464263 TheAnswerIs42
TheAnswerIs42's picture


My wife is also a microbiologist.

I have always had great respect for this field as it one of the last in laboratory medicine to be replaced by the "blinky lights" instead of human decision (years of experience).

You know what I mean...

A few years ago she left the day to day crap and became a consultant to labs in third world countries (Saudi, Uganda, etc).

She has nothing more than a BS degree, but tons of experience and is a real grade A stickler for good quality and data.

Also consults for big pharma, but only those who are really doing something useful out there. There are a few...

She has paid the dues. Being called a "whore" by the local kids and having stones thrown at her (always carry a few to throw back and a smile when one of little perps gets run over by a bus).

Bottom line is she is making a good 6 figure income. Downside is the global travel and dealing with the nitwits (nothing changes, does it?).

But that is life and I do love her.

We have lots of fun together.



Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:13 | 4464398 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Your response hit me in a sad place. Five months ago I was recruited by a major laboratory instrumentation company to be a field rep for their next generation PCR lab equipment. My territory would have been western USA and Canada. This would have been my dream job. They wanted me for my experience but also because I have a very vivacious personality and can work very well with people. A combo critical for this job and not often both found in normally shy lab personnel. I could have gone eventually into technical sales which would have brought in the 6 figures. I turned it down. Mr Miffed was absolutely shocked and begged me to change my mind. He knew this had my name all over this. I explained the timing was wrong. Obama is gunning for the equipment manufacturers and healthcare is going to take a hit with lower reimbursements. Hospitals budgets are being slashed. I don't see much capital investment happening in the near future. When the hit comes I will be in a bad position and it would be unlikely I could return to my old job if laid off. The other thing was the extensive travel involved. My husband lives for me to be happy but I know he would be miserable if I wasn't at home in his bed at night. That figured heavily in my decision as well. But, if I were single, I would have taken it and had an adventure. So much of life is about choices and trying to have the least amount of guilt when making them. For me, only one choice was possible. But I am very happy your wife is experiencing the adventure and she is happy. May be in another life time I'll give it a shot. ;-)


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:54 | 4463333 Jugdish787
Jugdish787's picture

You are exactly right!  I tell my kids all the time that the shows they watch on disney / nick (i know I should not have tv...) they always portray the dad as the bumbling idiot.  Both parents are always dumb compared to the genius kids...but the dad is the ultra fool.  Every show is like this.  

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:31 | 4463600 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Hey, moron, you shouldn't have cable or watch the MSM.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:26 | 4463764 Jugdish787
Jugdish787's picture

that's why I put the following statement...(i know I should not have tv...) I also never watch MSM...

I don't know about all of you no cable/tv guys but I have a hard time convincing my wife about what is going on.  If i just canceled cable telling her it is because of propaganda etc...she would think I was even more nuts than she already does.  My wife is what most on here would call asleep or a sheeple.  The only thing she is on board with is the schools.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:23 | 4463888 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Spend time teaching your kids to undo the weak sauce education kids get in "real skool."

A comparison of two random videos on Shays Rebellion.

From typical mainstream point of view, i.e. Big Education:

From non-mainstream point of view:

There is an amazing difference between the two.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:06 | 4463515 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

wtf are you talking about.  theyblacks are obviously on the cover of the beginner course.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:20 | 4463198 orez65
orez65's picture

"Using the term oriental is racist.  The word negro is racist Caucasian is an unknown"

Is using the term "liberal poop head" racist?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:26 | 4463238 macholatte
macholatte's picture

Is using the term "liberal poop head" racist?

Nope. That's a description of a sexual orientation/preference.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:20 | 4463203 Transformer
Transformer's picture

What about White Male?  Surely that is racist too?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 18:14 | 4463388 funthea
funthea's picture

Yes, I prefer Anglo. Some how that has never stuck, however.

But on another note... I will answer to cracker.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:36 | 4463277 glomax
glomax's picture

I had an Asian girlfriend once - I guess that makes me Cockasian.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:41 | 4463927 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Using the term oriental is racist.  The word negro is racist.

Oddly enough, though, like a double negative, the term negroriental is OK.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:14 | 4464181 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Blasians Bitchez !!! Baby finally got back !!!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:18 | 4463199 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

I'm fond of the term Asientals.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:27 | 4463240 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

I visited the Orient but saw only one poor soul stand there to tell me they all moved to California. He said China now empty.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 07:29 | 4464647 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

University of Caucasians, Lost Among Asians.= UCLA

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:55 | 4463829 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

you got that backwards akak. Asians is correct.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 21:10 | 4463836 akak
akak's picture

No, silverserfer.  Not unless you equally refer to ALL Arabs and Israelis and Turks and Indians and Pakistanis and Armenians as "Asian", too.  But we both know that the REAL meaning of the PC use of the word "Asian" is "Oriental".  Which is not in ANY way a racist or bigoted term, so why obfuscate and confuse the issue and refuse to just call them what they are --- "Oriental"?

It is manifestly more logical and appropriate to call Orientals "Orientals" than to call me "white" (because I am not an albino), or a "Caucasian" when neither I nor any of my ancestors ever lived within a couple of thousand miles of the Caucasus Mountains.  But I am not hung up on the terms, and do not arrogantly and ignorantly demand that everyone else call me by some constantly-changing PC term in order to prove their PC credentials, which is what this whole "Asian/Oriental" thing is really all about.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:42 | 4464092 chemystical
chemystical's picture

The more egregious misuse of such a term is "semitic", as in "anti-semitic".   The Palestineans, oy the irony, are far more semitic than, say Golda Meir (nee Goldie Meyerson nee Goldie Mabovitch) or 99% of the tribe who - as we and they all know - have about as much semitic DNA as my dogs.



Speaking of Frances Sawyer....

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 08:51 | 4464698 Squiddly Diddly
Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:33 | 4464436 mjorden
mjorden's picture

FYI .. "oriental" is considered a racist term, since oriental is a dirivative of 'orient' to describe 'material' items from Asia.  Technically speaking, by US standards, calling someone oriental is calling them an 'object'.  So yeah, theres that.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 02:20 | 4464452 akak
akak's picture


FYI .. "oriental" is considered a racist term

Only by the PC thought police and by the brainwashed, mentally docile sheep who allow themselves to be led and bullied by them.

Sorry, but that is just flat out politically-correct redefinitionism and linguistic revisionism, and utter bullshit.

Where did you come up with this idiotic notion that "Oriental" somehow refers to ONLY material objects?  That is pure nonsense, and if you knew anything at all about the English language and its history, or linguistics in general, you would be embarrassed at having made such an absurd statement.  In fact, I can think of NO locative word which has ever referred to only material objects, and not also the people, from a given location.

Think about it: what is MORE logical, and sensible, and reasonable, than to call somebody by the place where they (or their ancestors) originate?

Is it "racist" or "ethno-centric" to call somebody from Europe a "European"?  Is it "racist" to refer to a "South American" or an "African"?  That is what you are suggesting.

By your 'logic', to call or refer to anyone by ANY national or ethnic lable is ipso facto "racist".  This stupifyingly mindless and hypocritical bending to PC is lunacy and irrational, and that is the best that I can say about it.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 23:42 | 4467058 mjorden
mjorden's picture

South African - African

Europe - European

Ameria - American

Asia - Oriental?

And I NEVER said that it ONLY refers to an object, but in general, to say 'oriental' is to describe a tangible object, not a person.

I think you are missing a link there buddy!  

You are a little pretentious, at best, but nice try.



- "Think about it: what is MORE logical, and sensible, and reasonable, than to call somebody by the place where they (or their ancestors) originate?"


Also, where on the globe is the country/continent of 'orient' exactly? oh it isn't on it, kk thanks



Sat, 02/22/2014 - 03:22 | 4464535 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Alas, alas, three times alas, the nature of thin skinizenism is eternal.

Technically speaking, by US standards, calling someone oriental is calling them an 'object'.

Claims of such phenomenums being standards reveals biasry against US race. In private conversation this guy probably refers to Californian race as earthquakers.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 06:49 | 4464636 effendi
effendi's picture

Akak, the term "oriental" is also misused by many to only mean East Asians (particularly Chinese).

The Orient includes parts of Europe and Africa.

The book "Murder on the Oriental Express" was set in the Balkans and Istanbul is regarded as the most important oriental city. It is in Europe.

The mildly racist term "wog" is an abbreviation for "Western Oriental Gentlemen" which refers to the Egyptians (which is in Africa).

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:23 | 4463222 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

Whoever caught this - I have no comments but I did get a good chuckle. And yes, most Asians would not allow their kids to use calculators for basic Math.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:38 | 4463625 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

What I don't understand is this stereotypic view of Asians being good at math when there are bus loads of them going to our local Indian casino. So I guess Statistics isn't considered math? Funny to watch them all lined up at the slots staring at a screen an hitting a button over and over. Can't figure out what's so mesmerizing about it. Must be a cultural thing I don't understand.


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:22 | 4463752 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Addicts are addicts -- doesn't matter what race.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 17:54 | 4463334 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Indeed skateboarder; my Commie wife is all over that sheeit like white on rice.  It's like it's bred into them.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:24 | 4463570 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture


Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:34 | 4463609 Luckhasit
Luckhasit's picture

The ones making assemling our electronics.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 19:56 | 4463671 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Name one black person who IS good at calculus or Excel!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:05 | 4463704 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

My buddy....what makes him different is that he had two parents that cared...

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 22:24 | 4464041 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Just those I know well from among this afternoon's meetings:

1) PhD Applied and Industrial Mathematics, MS Electrical Engineering, BA Mathematics

2) PhD Mathematical Economics, MBA Finance, BS Electrical Engineering

3) MS Agricultural Economics, BS Agricultural Statistics

4) PhD Corporate Finance, MBA Finance, BS Geology

Or did you mean American blacks who are good at calculus and Excel?

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 20:47 | 4463806 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Damn! I should be in one of these pictures. I guess being a white male trumps my exceptional abilities with Excel.

I am currently researching my own prime and composite number generation algorithms and models along with composite number factorization algorithms and schemas using Excel.

I actually hope to publish some of my findings soon. I guess instead, I'll have to go walk around dragging my knuckles or raping women.


Sidenote: All of us white males should have some fun and start a class action suit against them. Just to see how they "like them apples" and to see their response. Kind of like how Soviet gulag prisoners tied up the bureaucracy with complaints from the gulags.


"Caution, white male on board."

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:16 | 4464182 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

"Off the top of your head, name one Asian person you know who is not good at calculators or Excel." 

I have three working for me.  One is so bad with computers that when he wants to change his 401(k) allocation, I have to log on and do it for him.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 19:54 | 4466494 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Alway pick the Greek Sovereign Debt Fund. Serves him right. 

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 00:56 | 4464379 daedon
daedon's picture

My Asian girlfriend is useless with numbers or computers, but she never ever gets headaches.

Sat, 02/22/2014 - 01:05 | 4464391 akak
akak's picture

So is she of Russian birth or descent, or Indian?

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