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JPMorgan To Fire Thousands

Tyler Durden's picture


Following last year's realization that mortgage origination as a product line is effectively dead (which has forced such origination dependent banks as Wells Fargo to return to subprime lending in hopes of keeping the revenue stream alive, knowing full well how it all ends), and that only investors and "all cash" buyers are keeping the myth of the housing recovery alive on their shoulders, banks fired tens of thousands of workers in the mortgage business hoping to stem the bottom line bleeding from the collapse in revenues. It turns out that they didn't fire enough and/or that the housing market contraction was far worse than even the banks, in their most, pessimistic forecasts, had expected. Case in point: JPMorgan, which after firing 15,000 in its mortgage business, has just revealed it will fire thousands more.

From the FT:

Several thousand more cuts are planned, according to people familiar with the matter, and could be announced at JPMorgan’s annual investor day on Tuesday. They are part of a new efficiency drive at the largest US bank by assets that also encompasses staffing branches with fewer employees.


Profitability at JPMorgan remains stronger than at competitors such as Bank of America and Citigroup but the bank is looking to find new savings, partly because of technology that allows greater automation of clerical functions in branches and partly because of a plunge in demand for mortgage refinancings.


Rising interest rates have stifled demand, causing the biggest banks to cut tens of thousands of positions over the past two years. The additional cuts at JPMorgan are expected to number more than 2,000, evidence of the steep decline in demand even in the past 12 months.


The bank, which employs more than 250,000 people, is also looking to cut thousands of jobs in branches over time, though it expects to do so by attrition.


JPMorgan executives decided in the past 12 months to halt its branch-building programme, following a trend for banks to look online for future growth rather than to bricks and mortar.

We doubt many tears will be shed over the terminations, especially since JPM was the one bank holding out longer than most in hopes that things will finally change for the better and the bank's "fortress" balance sheet will be able to isolate the firm's workers. They didn't, and it didn't.

JPMorgan held out longer than rivals, filling in gaps in the market in Florida and California, in particular, before now joining the long list of banks to have scaled back their growth plans.


“It was awfully 20th century of them,” said Mike Mayo, analyst at CLSA Securities. “With such weak revenue growth – the worst in eight decades – banks need to find new ways to control expenses, which means finding other ways to streamline branches and other distribution. The last two years have seen the most branch closings in history.”

Yet while JPMorgan's terminations - merely a stepping stone to even more layoffs in the future - mean the unemployment rate will continue to drop as most of the newly laid off will simply drop out of the labor force entirely, the biggest loser will be Wells Fargo, whose primary revenue line was and is mortgage origination. Well, was.

We look forward to seeing just how the California bank, and largest mortgage originator in the US, will offset what is now clearly a secular collapse in mortgage demand as more and more Americans simply refuse to (or can't) take out mortgages to buy homes whose prices have become inaccessible to all but a very select (0.1%) few.


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Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:28 | 4473102 fonestar
fonestar's picture

But Dimon's leadership is so excellent?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:29 | 4473111 Alcoholic Nativ...
Alcoholic Native American's picture

He's cutting the fat.  

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:31 | 4473126 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Front running the next crash

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:33 | 4473142 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

They can get in line for the gold custodian job at the NY FED [now that theirs is all gone]

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:39 | 4473167 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

What you fail to perceive, Tyler, is that nothing else is as important and Jamie's Hanukkah bonus,

or mabe that's his Bukakki bonus.  I forget.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:43 | 4473180 Looney
Looney's picture

Dude, I wish the article read "JPMorgan To Fire EVERYfuckingONE"  ;-)


Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:44 | 4473188 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

You were too fast for me to proof read, but you got the drift;)

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:56 | 4473229 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Nail guns are expensive.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:02 | 4473259 knukles
knukles's picture

It's the weather, transitory and all that shit.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:32 | 4473348 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

...He comforts us when we're sad now
He sticks with us when times are bad....
To us he's out of sight

Oh, Jamie....

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:46 | 4473379 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



JPMorgan To Fire Thousands


Word is a handful will need to be.....umm.....terminated.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 01:02 | 4474180 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Terminate with extreme prejudice.


Tue, 02/25/2014 - 06:35 | 4474476 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Do you find Jamie's methods....unsound?

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 08:33 | 4474629 grekko
grekko's picture

Speaking of Brando, I'd like to see Jamie wake up next to horses head.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 14:10 | 4476344 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Hair, skin tissue and blood, some times bone, get all over the tip trigger. Usually its dried up and requires mechanical disassembly and cleaning with dental picks, brass brush cleaning plus reassembly for the next banker. Also there is a bio hazard problem. Its labor intensive. You can hose it down with Teflon spray before use. That helps. Framing guns just aren't designed for soft tissue.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:36 | 4473581 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Wouldn't that suggest that someone (the firer) got away with it?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:25 | 4473320 bubblemania
bubblemania's picture

It's the souvlaki and baklava bonus.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:39 | 4473362 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

Holding out until the last minute, leveraging every day of  human capital possible.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:38 | 4473358 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

the longer all ya'll apostates take to bow before the only 2 forms of real money the greater the plagues and the agony....


"(Reuters) - Cyber criminals have infected hundreds of thousands of computers with a virus called "Pony" to steal bitcoins and other digital currencies, in the most ambitious cyber attack on virtual money uncovered so far, according to security firm Trustwave.  

Trustwave said on Monday that it has found evidence that the operators of a cybercrime ring known as the Pony botnet have stolen some 85 virtual "wallets" that contained bitcoins and other types of digital currencies. The firm said it did not know how much digital currency was contained in the wallets.


"It is the first time we saw such a widespread presence of this type of malware. It was on hundreds of thousands of machines," said Ziv Mador, security research director with Chicago-based Trustwave.

Trustwave said it believes the crime ring is still operating, though it does not know who is running the group. The company said it has disrupted the servers that were controlling machines infected with Pony, but expects the group to launch more attacks on virtual currency users."

there r only 2 forms of real moeny...Physical Gold and Silver....


Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:39 | 4473598 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

But satoshi wrote a protocol.  You know, a set of rules.  You know, rules are meant to be broken.  You know, bitcoin is broken.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:29 | 4473108 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

just jump you assholes...


Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:34 | 4473146 max2205
max2205's picture

He's richer than you so shut up

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 06:04 | 4474452 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



...and a set of rule them all.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:30 | 4473117 starman
starman's picture

fuck yeah! all the roads will be fixed now with all that extra help all over the US! Heil fuhrer!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:32 | 4473118 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

How many of those 5,000 were taunting the OWS protesters from their offices?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:33 | 4473138 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

How many of those 15,000 - fell to the ground while they - were taunting the OWS protesters from their offices?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:47 | 4473201 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

OWS was an astroturf movement of disgruntled Communists and malcontents, part of whom wanted to "wet their beaks."

The rest of them were fighting for an ideology that was thoroughly discredited 30 or more years ago.

At any rate, they were rubes because the "gaming of the system" that's gone on has to a great extent been carried out under the Democrats that they laud.

If the 1%ers were mocking them, they were correct to do so but for the wrong reasons.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:09 | 4473271 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

At around the same time most of Greece was on fire, the Spanish were inventing new recipes to take advantage of all the free tear gas coming their way, and parts of London will never quite look the same again.  OWS was more of a 70's revival 'love in' for iPhone waving pussies.  This from a nation of gun loving freedom evangelists.  It was really disappointing, certainly not worthy of the amount of popcorn I bought in anticipation.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:17 | 4473295 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

>> OWS was

And you are a fucking idiot follower.



Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:39 | 4473360 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

My, what a well-reasoned argument. How ever shall I respond?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:46 | 4473378 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

I vote you jump off a building.

that'll show 'im.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:26 | 4473535 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

Thankfully, my life isn't up for a vote. It's probably a good thing your life isn't, either.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:11 | 4473469 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

i agree. they wanted more govt to come in and fix everything. Gotta love that statist mentality. Everything broken by the govt can only be fixed with, you guessed it, more govt

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:57 | 4473235 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

OWS were soros paid re-elect obama campaign workers

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:32 | 4473133 darteaus
darteaus's picture

"...knowing full well how it all end"

With a bankster bailout courtesy of the Great American Taxpayer!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:35 | 4473148 CPL
CPL's picture

Yes, but the next time it happens a box of kleenex will be worth more than the money given.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:34 | 4473144 new game
new game's picture

fuck wells fargo, fuck wells!!!! i hate that bank with an extreme passion.

if the mother fucking bank collapsed into a black hole it would be a national holiday for the rest of my life!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:42 | 4473613 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

So the hot teller at window three shut you down too eh?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:38 | 4473160 Carbon Beach
Carbon Beach's picture

Bad Weather?

Jamie Dimon?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:26 | 4473536 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"guns and butter" problem on the Street.

On the one hand they're financing a war trade.
On the other hand that means financing The Biggest Government Ever.

Growth must slow as a consequence.

Sorry about all the name calling earlier at everybody from me btw...but this whole "War in Mother Russia" pisses me off. Iraq now makes no sense, Afghanistan never made sense (outside of SF thing) and now "for our Grand Celebration we get Ukraine."

It all pisses me off because the only thing that can guarantee "border contiguity" is...of Army. using his Navy. using her mouth.

The State using "declarations backed up by the use of force."
(No funding sound about right?)
There's only one "force" on this Planet right now that is currently "usable" and its not the Navy or Marine Corps.

I will say this...I think Sec. Def's DoD cuts are DOA.
"yet again...more Government."
So absolutely the question remains "why are equity prices still going to the moon?"
And again "Zero Hedge is right to ask this question...and be totally wrong again."
That thing is well beyond walking on water now and in pure "levitation" mode.
As a Swedish girl once said to me "MY BIG BUDDHA!!!"
I therefore say (and have said in print) "Tesla at 700 bucks a share" as a consequence.
And yes, I hate General Electric too...but the thing this war will be fought with...has been fought with actually...are turbine engines.

Ballard Power had a big day today.
War sucks.
Phuck you human race.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:40 | 4473170 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

And if they find another ponzi scheme, those fired thousands will have new jobs!

We're moving from one crisis to the next, with no vision beyond the next quarter.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:42 | 4473181 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Jaimie:  "Extra bonuses of salaries for work already performed for every Jumper"

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:20 | 4473303 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

They probably have life insurance policies on these employees...which have been put up as collateral to buy stawks...which have then been rehypothecated to collateralize a bundle of MBS...which is being pledged to answer a margin call thus being rehypothecated yet again...

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 00:06 | 4473976 Blano
Blano's picture

Amazingly enough, especially in today's casino environment, that actually made sense.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 08:25 | 4474619 grekko
grekko's picture

then dumped onto the COMEX during thinly traded hours...

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 23:13 | 4473759 The Most Intere...
The Most Interesting Frog in the World's picture

and 1,000 virgins!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:43 | 4473186 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Time for them to have their houses fraudclosed on by Jamie.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:45 | 4473193 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

to the faz, er, mobile, ah, fuck it, never mind

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:45 | 4473195 q99x2
q99x2's picture

The president of the United States of America is half black.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 07:51 | 4474565 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

And half yellow.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:48 | 4473204 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Someone had to 'pay' for all of those fines.  You sure all hell know Jamie Diamonds wasn't going to "bail in" his recent pay raise to cover the losses.


Oh yea, #fuckJPM



Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:48 | 4473205 Surging Chaos
Surging Chaos's picture

They're potentially saving thousands of lives if you think about it.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:50 | 4473212 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

JPMorgan waited until confirmation from the FED.  The FED was concerned that the bodies would count as unemployed. 

Don't worry, they are being retired.....

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:54 | 4473222 Ayn Rand
Ayn Rand's picture

Gotta control expenses so Jamie can get his millions in bonus money.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:57 | 4473236 Danno Anderson
Danno Anderson's picture

Try to learn the difference of when an employee is laid off or fired.  Big difference.  You sound like a liberal. 

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:58 | 4473240 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

They're only firing staff to save costs cleaning the corpses off the sidewalk in the next six months.  Jumpers make a real mess...

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:00 | 4473241 Tinky
Tinky's picture

It never gets old, nor less relevant...

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 20:59 | 4473244 stant
stant's picture

knew i should have invested in that company that makes nets for foxcon

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:00 | 4473250 bcking
bcking's picture

Wait, they didn't kill all of the bankers they intended to knock off yet!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:13 | 4473286 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Needs MOAR suicides

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:15 | 4473291 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Layoffs, more efficient. How much did they give out in bonus money?

People might just feel used. Might get mad about it. 

They are eating their own now. Should be a hell of a show.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:22 | 4473302 OpTwoMistic
OpTwoMistic's picture

Banksters believed their own BS. Oopps

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:26 | 4473325 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Damn this strong recovery just keeps better and better. At least this will help the income inequality.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 00:40 | 4474097 SDShack
SDShack's picture

They aren't being fired, they are being LIBERATED. They no longer have to toil in their purgatory job just so they can have employer sponsored healthcare. 0zer0care has freed them to pursue their passion! 0zer0 the great immancipator! Hail 0zer0! Because 0zer0!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:28 | 4473339 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

JPM (NYSE) should be making a new high on this news. Bullish!

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:29 | 4473341 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Nails cost more money than pink slips, it makes sense.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:43 | 4473373 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

One day, and it may not be so very far from now, thousands may well fire upon JP Morgan.

And see that it is good.

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:58 | 4473427 W74
W74's picture

What's up with, all the, redundant commas?

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 22:15 | 4473484 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

Oh, whoa, whoa, Jamie's cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jamie's cryin'

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 02:37 | 4474320 GoldenDonuts
GoldenDonuts's picture

I hope that I see the day when a software company produces the ultimate banking automation software.  Of course why limit it to banking so many other industries need to use this system to increase efficiency.

Can't you see the next Steve Jobber walking across some stage Introducing the new CEO2022 ver. 1.1 which performs all of the functions of Jamie Dimon.  Only with more integrity, honesty, and humanity.

Who exactly are going to be the consumers in our brave new world?  Ridlle me that.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 04:07 | 4474388 Hengist
Hengist's picture


Tue, 02/25/2014 - 08:21 | 4474610 grekko
grekko's picture

Integrity and honesty?  What bank is going to buy one of those?  It breaks the perfect profit model.


Tue, 02/25/2014 - 04:36 | 4474400 Remnant_Army
Remnant_Army's picture

They obviously know what thay have planned for this spring.

Relax. At the end it will be good. Very good.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 06:41 | 4474480 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Citibank seems to be hiring until you get to the end of their job ads where it tells you they are not actually hiring.  How does that work?  Why in the fuck did you dickwads put the ad out there then?  There was a banking quality assurance job those assholes were blabbering about that I was qualified for but when I went to apply they were not accepting applications.  Why the hell are they posting these jobs then?

JP Morgue is not around here so I figured Citi was my next best bet.  Then you have all of the jobs that require securities licenses.  I do not have that whatever 63 license but even if I did you get to the end of the job offer and then they tell you they are not hiring.  Every other job listed is some banking job.  Anything from teller to financial advisor and mostly teller.  I am pretty sure I am qualified to be a financial advisor after a couple of years on ZeroHedge.  What would you even tell your clients?  Hey, we have a Jon Corzine investment plan you should look at.  You can't lose.  OR, don't buy anything we sell under any circumstances unless you are an idiot.

Somehow, I don't think I would be very good at the banking business.    

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 07:01 | 4474492 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Fuck 'em. They shouldn't have been working for Satan.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 09:55 | 4474872 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture
JPMorgan To Fire Thousands


record bonuses to costs a lot of [taxpayer] money to keep great talent.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 10:28 | 4474970 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Zero trading day losses, massive housing recovery, record earnings...and now computers can do the job of thousands as Watson starts to infiltrate any computer-based industry.  JPM might have 1000 employees and earn a $1T by 2050.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 11:06 | 4475130 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

know a few people working in mortgage processing, working moms :(, and yes Wells Fargo.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 23:59 | 4487637 Ruth
Ruth's picture

o.m.g. training today was ridiculous, the new ATR QM is BS --   Two words.  Job Security.


Hi to my ZH crew!!!


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