This is about as funny as it gets, and certainly no commentary needed.
From a job posting in efinancialcareers.co.uk
The Financial Services Group (FSG) operates and oversees payments system processing for the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. The FSG provides depository institutions with various payment services, including electronically transferring funds and distributing and receiving currency and coin and other valuables, as part of its central banking mission to ensure an efficient, effective and accessible payments system. Its goal is to be the most trusted and respected provider of financial services in the world.
An important and unique service provided by the New York Fed is safekeeping Gold. Various foreign governments, central banks, and international organizations entrust the FRBNY with safeguarding and storing their monetary gold reserves. The Gold Vault is currently the world’s largest accumulation of gold, is visited by over 25,000 members of the public each year, and is part of the Cash and Custody Function.
The Gold Vault is currently looking to fill the position of Gold Vault Custody Analyst. A Gold Vault Custody Analyst is charged with performing all of the critical responsibilities associated with safekeeping, accounting for, and displaying all gold entrusted to the FRBNY.
- Open & close the Gold Vault on a daily basis
- Account for all gold holdings using the Gold Vault System
- Coordinate and facilitate periodic audits of gold holdings for various agencies and central banks
- Administer the Public Window to receive/pay and account for limited currency and coin transactions
- Maintain and update Gold Vault access rosters
- Conduct periodic sales of new-issue coins and currency types
- Coordinate all arrangements for gold movements and shipments as directed by Central Bank Services
- Manage and coordinate allocation of compartments for storage of valuables for various Bank functions
- Ensure the Gold Vault stays well-maintained and fully operational
- Provide detailed tours of the Gold Vault for foreign dignitaries, VIPs, and Bank Officers and their guests; Coordinate and facilitate public tours given by economic education
- Undergraduate degree or equivalent work experience
- Strong interpersonal skills and ability to work well as a member of a team
- Able to present and communicate effectively with multiple groups and organizations with the appropriate decorum
- Strong coordination skills
- Exceptional customer service skills and ability to interact well with a diverse customer/ stakeholder base
- Strong analytical thinking and problem solving skills
- Strong PC skills to include MS Word, MS Excel, MS Visio, etc.
- Strong ability to complete daily tasks and assignments with minimal supervisory intervention
- Acute sense of attention to detail and ability to keep detailed notes and records of work performed
- Familiarity with basic accounting and record-keeping principles
- Ability to work within established guidelines and regulations
- Willing to work overtime on a limited, as-needed basis
- Able to physically lift valuables (approx 50 lbs)[ZH: or about two bars of gold-plated Tungsten]