JPM To Lay Off 17,000 Mortgage Bankers In 2013 And 2014, Because The "Housing Recovery"

Tyler Durden's picture

The last time JPMorga had an investor day, Jamie Dimon explained to Mike Mayo why he is richer than him (and pretty much anyone else). This year, Jamie will be more focused on explaining to 8,000 JPM workers why after firing 16,500 people in consumer and mortgage banking, the bank will now let go another 2K and 6K in those same two groups (which will bring total mortgage and consumer banking headcount reductions between 2013 and 2014 to at least 17K and 7.5K, respectively). This may be tricky especially in the context of, you know, the housing and economic recovery, and stuff.

Source:  JPMorgan

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Headbanger's picture

But, it's all good!  Right?

Levadiakos's picture

As long as Jamie's bonus is safe it's all good

jbvtme's picture

these are the lucky ones. pink slip without the nail gun...

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Not saved or created the bankers jobs?

Richard Chesler's picture

Burger flipping is a lot like paper pushing. Good luck motherfuckers!

Ms. Erable's picture

Except that burger flipping adds value. Pushing paper... not so much.

Dr. Engali's picture

Lead headline on Yahoo:

 

Housing outlook "still very positive," says PIMCO's Kiesel

Idiots..... the propoganda must continue.

thamnosma's picture

Saw that as well, gave me my morning laugh over coffee.

SafelyGraze's picture

the important metric is assets-under-management

not employees-under-management

Murf_DaSurf's picture

 

 

 

Better spin up the Suicide Hotline

101 years and counting's picture

how long before the machines realize Jamie's salary restricts their stock trading and jamie is forced out?

RSloane's picture

Not going to ever happen. Dimon has the full support of the WH and has been praised by Obama several times. He has way too much political and international banking power. It would be nice though if he was 'dispensed with'.

Doubleguns's picture

With a nail gun starting at his balls. 

thamnosma's picture

No fun if it's not on live TV. 

Boxed Merlot's picture

Not going to ever happen...

 

 

Agreed.  It's more likely the in bedded publicists at Bloomberg will allow his residence be described as a "compound" before the administration disavows their allegiance to him.  They have yet to say, or allowed to be said, anything derogatory about our last architect of The Great Recovery, the Honourable J. Corzine.

Atlas Crapped's picture

But at least if you get the nail gun, the BLS report remains the same because you get recategorized as "no longer seeking employment".

PacOps's picture

 

"As long as Jamie's bonus is safe it's all good"

 

Was or is it ever in doubt?

waterhorse's picture

It might be in jeopardy if one of the little banksters decides to pay Dimon back (with a nail gun would be nice - one can always hope).

screw face's picture

Jamie is Mike Morgan's lackey!

 

fc

29.5 hours's picture

 

 

Yes, all good. In their own words, they are exceeding all targets...

onewayticket2's picture

they must know that the obama admin is going to kill mortgage interest deductibility....and kill the market.

tip e. canoe's picture

betya a silver dollar that won't happen before 01/14/17.

new game's picture

at 40k/yr the standard deduction beats itemized...

Urban Redneck's picture

Mortgage Interest Destructibility promotes debt serfdom (and preference for incurring debt as opposed to building equity at other levels) and misdirects capital to the (crappy) home-building industry-- the deduction needs to die.

But somehow I think the administration's intentions are less noble. Unfortunately for them, it will actually cost more to remove the deduction, than it will generate additional tax revenue.

Too bad doing the right thing is rarely easy or cheap.

onewayticket2's picture

the admin's motivation zero to do with proper allocation of capital.....it has everything to do with more juice for them to give away in an effort to create dependency.

(see:  slash military benefits and increase entitlements)

Urban Redneck's picture

The "creating dependency" is likely to backfire over the intermediate to long term.

But then we have President Profit-to-Earnings Ratio at the helm of the ship of State...

Buck Johnson's picture

It's all good if your on the top.  We are being taken for the biggest ride ever in history.  There's a reason why we have this police state forming and the NSA spying on Americans etc. etc..  Because they know they will need that information and forces to help squelch the upswell of hatred that will happen when hyperinflation comes into being and when the US finally reaches it's third world destination where the rich and powerful live in gated estates and the rest have to live in a corrupt land of no jobs and lower pay.

LawsofPhysics's picture

A good start.  Keep going motherfuckers.  Keep going until we have sound money again.

It will come to pass, one way or another.

StychoKiller's picture

You're smart enough to know that nothing is gonna change for the better until after The Great Implosion™

nuclearsquid's picture

@LoP

Unfortunately most of the layoffs will probably come not from the evil bankster scum, but from the 8-5 working Joe's with normal back office jobs.  These people haven't been given raises in like 4 years, and most likely not bonuses either.  They are just trying to pay their mortgage like any other schmo, and most likely will not be able to find a job in another bank. I suspect that if you parse paychecks and benefits they are quite a bit worse off than most public employees, before they got shitcanned. 

Alas, for those cheering the mass liquidation of banksters, what is really happening is that the concentration of evil in these places is increasing.

Disclosure: I know a few of these guys.

 

 

Bangin7GramRocks's picture

I agree with you about not cheering when regular people lose jobs. However, this will be a nice vacation for these folks. As soon as Yellen jacks QE to $150 billion the 30 year mortgage rates will go back to 3% and a new wave of refis will begin anew. Rinse and repeat!

Urban Redneck's picture

There is no such thing as a "Mortgage Banker", Mortgage Banking exists, but the employees of a Mortgage Banking Division are called TELLERS (or more derogatory terms).

Is the guy who scrubs Jamie Dimon's toilet a banker,
or is the guy who fixes the MicroShit OS problems on his laptop a banker,
is whoever answers the phone at (212) 270-6000 a banker?

These are not the drones you're looking for. (to sarc or not to sarc? a very good question indeed)

Unfortunately, a lot of them wish they were.

Not that there aren't bankers who focus on mortgage banking, but that's a bit more subtle

waterhorse's picture

These workers have known what treachery the Morgue has been up to since at least 2007.  Plenty of time to GTFO of the Morgue.  I don't feel sorry for them.

astoriajoe's picture

I actually went to look up if you trademarked that. You should.

Caveman93's picture

I need to wake up, thought the headline was "JPM To Mass Banker Bridge Jump Off Fest... 17,000 Mortgage Bankers In 2013 And 2014, Because The "Housing Recovery". 

That would have been a good morning to read this instead. 

Bosch's picture

Should be awesome for buybacks. 

GrinandBearit's picture

Fire the indians, but give the chiefs raises and bonuses.

What a recovery we're in!

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

to quote Chase commerical, 

"this is the stuff recoveries are made of"

 

digitlman's picture

<Nelson>

HA HA!

 

</Nelson>

Quintus's picture

Who needs mortgage bankers?  Using a mortgage to purchase a property is just so yesterday.  The Great Housing Recovery (tm) is all cash based don't you know? 

OwnSilverPlayMusic's picture

Freshly printed cash at that.  To paraphrase Col. Kilgore "I love the smell of toner in the morning.  Smells like, destruction of the global economy."

earl swagger's picture

Tough to beat that new gun smell, or a four stroke 250 on race gas with a Koloff topper. The ultimate: Top fuel dragster pop plop poppin to the line... Clears your head. Then Blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. Gone.

101 years and counting's picture

must fire people so jamie can keep banking 20-30 million in salary and bonus.

hugovanderbubble's picture

Another Subprime Crisis...

Villageidiot777's picture

Is it car and student loans yet, or is it still at mortgage?

pods's picture

Drinking Tiger Blood tonight!

pods

HyBrasilian's picture

Home Depot always has a springtime 'hiring' campaign... & I hear you can get an employee discount on nail guns...