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JPM Reports Market Revenue Plunges 15% From Year Earlier, Fixed Income Activity Tumbles

Tyler Durden's picture




 

JPMorgan may have had zero trading loss days in 2013 but 2014 is not shaping up well for Jamie Dimon's firm. Just out from Reuters and BBG, which is reporting what the firm just announced at its investor day:

  • JPMORGAN CHASE & CO EXECUTIVE: MARKET REVENUE YEAR-TO-DATE DOWN ABOUT 15 PCT VS YEAR AGO
  • JPMORGAN CHASE & CO EXECUTIVE: MARKET REVENUE DOWN BROADLY YEAR-TO-DATE, BUT WORSE IN FIXED INCOME
  • JPMORGAN SAYS HAS SEEN LOWER CLIENT ACTIVITY, ESP FIXED INCOME

And if the company feels compelled to report this now, one can only imagine what ridiculous addbacks JPM will have to do on earnings day: we can certainly expect at least $2 billion in loan loss reserves releases to make up for a reality that firmtly refuses to comply with Ph.D. economist models. And what is really funny, is that judging by the stock reaction, it is almost as if the algos don't know that nobody trades bonds when it snows outside. Duh.

 

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Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:31 | 4476793 Belrev
Belrev's picture

Russian Army is already rolling into Ukraine

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keGmnAV4_-g

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:32 | 4476799 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

JPM must have a huge short on JPM.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:36 | 4476806 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

'Fixed income'?

The 'fix' is in on all of their income...

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:47 | 4476873 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Thank god equity markets aren't batshit crazy levels overextended, or there could have been another tsunami rolling in JPMs (and all other purveyors of faux/nothingness's) direction.

Whew! That could've been a close call.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:34 | 4476808 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture
  • JPMORGAN CHASE & CO EXECUTIVE: HEAD COUNT REDUCTION SURPASSING LAST YEARS RATE DUE TO FIRINGS AND UNEXPECTED JUMPERS
  • JPMORGAN CHASE & CO EXECUTIVE: COMPANY PROFIT REMAINS 100% CORRELATED TO CLIENT LOSSES
  • JPMORGAN CHASE & CO EXECUTIVE: JAMIE DIMON TO GET NEW WARDROBE ARTIST TO IMPROVE HIS IMAGE
Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:36 | 4476804 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

OT but who messed up?  California couple uncover rare gold coins worth $10 million while walking their dog

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:41 | 4476829 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Barbaric relics. $27,000 in face value now has $10,000,000 in buying power. Who needs that? Fiat is where it's at bitchez!

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:41 | 4476844 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

ARREST that couple!... [& shoot the dog]!...

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:53 | 4476890 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

They find rare gold coins worth 10 million, and wake up to a 4.2 million dollar federal+state tax bill.

Nice.

#winning

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:19 | 4477001 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The poor sap who lost it only gets a $27,000 write off.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 17:30 | 4477321 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Don't report it or sell it..it's not like thier is a 0 and 1 trackng number

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 21:34 | 4478391 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

my good dr. - that article was VERY careful not to mention the intrinsic value of a few probably pounds of gold.  IT IS ILLEGAL TO SELL US GOLD COINS FOR MELT VALUE.

the gist of the story was - face value of the coins was ONLY $27,000 - which of course you could exchange with the federal reserve, legally, for a few green pictures of dead presidents.  but - fortunately for the finders, a few of the coins where priceless collectors items.  THE GOLD ITSELF WAS WORTHLESS.

 

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:39 | 4476836 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture

 

 

I really need to get a dog and start walking it...

 

 

 

 

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:49 | 4476880 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'm strapping my metal detector on mine and renaming her Goldilocks. Too bad she's not actually a Golden Retriever.  The person who hid those coins was like an original ZH'er...

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 18:48 | 4477720 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

They didn't find those coins! Someone else did! And the government deserves credit! Share with the village!

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:35 | 4476812 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You mean ZIRP and volatility suppression has consequences? No fucking shit! At least Jamie's bonus is secure.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:47 | 4476864 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

my prediction, we get inflation because of a major lack of circulating currency, then hyperinflation as either i) fiat dies or ii) they lose control of interest rates in the fixed income markets and people start scrambling to own real productive assets with this unforeseen gain in any savings etc.

no way this gets any better any time soon.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:46 | 4476868 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

I was thinking the same thing as it relates to add backs and the unicorn accounting that has kept these institutions going the last 6 years, but I wonder if the fairy tail is running out of pages and is at a point where it just can't continue without good old organic growth?  Surely, the trickery can only last for so long.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:49 | 4476882 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

This is accounting right?  

Don't we have a CB in order to fix accounting problems?   

In this day-n-age, it seems somewhat pointless to worry about accounting.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:51 | 4476887 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

But Jamie said to Congress JPM would be fine if rates rose!

Shows how often he tells the truth.

BUY SILVER CRASH JPM

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:19 | 4476998 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

.... I think he said JPM would be fined if rates rose. Of course they be fined often either way.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 15:52 | 4476892 The Axe
The Axe's picture

So their Mortgage business BLOWS  and they are laying off the polulation on Cut Bank, Montana--their fix income business and trading is sucking monkey balls and they will probably get fined again by some government entity--YET the fucking stock is close to a high   .....Jamie Dickhead      

 

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:05 | 4476948 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Just got a call from Chase about doing some investment business.

LIKE FUCK I WILL.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:15 | 4476986 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

I'd like to buy that man a nail gun.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:25 | 4477016 sudzee
sudzee's picture

The headline will still read: beats estmates by 1cent.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:30 | 4477034 g speed
g speed's picture

who woulda thought that just a few dead fx brokers/bankers could lead to such loses? 

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 16:46 | 4477124 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

So the shareholders should give scumbag Dimon a raise...

..are streetpoles a high enuf raise?

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 17:46 | 4477400 assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

u beleive that dog n tree story?  every ZH'er got in his canoe and headed out to the lake. 

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 17:48 | 4477419 assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

thank Allah JPM never had a losing trading day or we'd be bailing them out all over again

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 18:48 | 4477708 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

How can client activity be slower when they're all algorithms? Just have your programmer tell them to go faster.

Duh.

Tue, 02/25/2014 - 21:30 | 4478383 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

guys, this has nothing to do with whether there would be a 'trading loss'.  it just means revenue is down.  time for the three card monte to only take $10 bets instead of 5.  it's called 'leverage'.  'leverage' is financial engineering.  i could explain it to you, but you are probably too stupid.  and that's why i'm richer than you!  ;)

yellen has jamie's back.  he isn't going to bail.

 

 

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