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Kerry Promises Ukraine $1 Billion Bailout (Detroit, Not So Much)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Having threatened Russia that "any military move would be a grave mistake" and sounding awefully like a "line" to be crossed, US Secretary of State John Kerry told reporters that the US is ready to bail out Ukraine...

  • *KERRY: RUSSIA MILITARY MOVE ON UKRAINE WOULD BE GRAVE MISTAKE
  • *KERRY SAYS U.S. PLANNING $1 BLN LOAN GUARANTEE FOR UKRAINE
  • *KERRY SAYS U.S. WORKING WITH IMF, OTHERS ON AID TO UKRAINE

One has to wonder how many US jobs this will create (or save)? Or will Ukraine offer unlimited vodka to citizens of Detroit (or Puerto Rico for that matter)?

 

As Reuters headlines show:

  • U.S. CONSIDERING UNSPECIFIED BUDGET SUPPORT FOR UKRAINE ON TOP OF POSSIBLE $1 BILLION LOAN GUARANTEE - KERRY
  • KERRY SAYS POSSIBLE MILITARY INTERVENTION BY RUSSIA IN UKRAINE WOULD BE A COSTLY DECISION, GIVES NO DETAILS

Via AP,

Secretary of State John Kerry says the United States is planning to provide Ukraine with $1 billion in loan guarantees and will consider additional direct assistance to the former Soviet republic.

 

Speaking to reporters at the State Department on Wednesday, Kerry said it was "urgent to move forward" in assisting Ukraine following the ouster of its Russian-backed president. But he said it was also urgent for Ukraine's interim authorities to enact reforms, curb corruption, and prepare free and fair elections.

 

The U.S. aid would be part of a planned massive international assistance package that was expected to include European contributions as well as loans from global financial institutions.

 

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Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:01 | 4481826 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Where is he going to that all that worthless USD from? His chin?

Oh and I am sure he is on the beach somewhere warm right now riding on a horse.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:06 | 4481880 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

And yet, there is an argument could be made that spending USG money over there is better spent than over here.  Think about that...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:08 | 4481890 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

How long before Ukraine gets a central Bank with a GS blessing?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:13 | 4481928 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

National Bank of Ukraine, established in 1917/18 some time in that December. I think Kerry just officially welcomed them to the IMF and the major players union. 

 

 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:18 | 4481954 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

In my mid 60s. Lived to see an abject PUNK and KEPT MAN appointed SOS. Fuckin' amazing!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:42 | 4482075 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Our representative government has gone rogue. 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:51 | 4482120 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture

What a sick joke - both he and his offer.

 

$1-billion isn't going to do squat for Urraine.

 

Dear Ukraine:

 

You are the 2014 version of 1956 Hungary.

 

Chumps.

-30-

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:03 | 4482174 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Where is Boris to apply for US Bailout! Russia army is on Boris doorstep and Boris is flat broken!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:16 | 4482202 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Boris -- Apply to Central Intelligence Agency, Foreign Government Undermining Section, care of Postmaster, Langley VA, USSA -- request expedited approval.  Don't be shy, request billions of dollars.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:27 | 4482229 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

NYC realtors licking their lips at 90% of that $$$ will be sneaked back into USA RE on the East Coast.

However, wait 'till they realize that $1 Billion is 1 Billion in Bitcoins....

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:54 | 4482377 strannick
strannick's picture

Obama, Kerry, Hillary. The public faces of our Nation.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:39 | 4482724 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Ok, let's see...

A billion dollar loan on the balance sheet...

90% of that gets loaned into existence...

A 900 million dollar loan on the balance sheet...

90% of that...

A new...

90%...............

Fuckers.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:01 | 4482404 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

And Boris, don't forget to tell them you're a homosexual minority poet desperately in need of a grant for your latest work: "Oppression of gender-neutral womyn in big box stores by capitalist TEA party Christians".

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:00 | 4482610 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

Boris...

Tell them you support the NWO.  Say you're for joining the EU.  Say you'll die for TPTB.  You'll be a shoe-in for unlimited funds and ammunition.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:18 | 4482462 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

File on time serfs!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:21 | 4482475 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Our representative government has gone rogue.

Our representative government has gone missing.

Our occupational government has gone rogue.

That's just how they roll in Vichy DC.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:13 | 4481929 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

he was against this before he was or it

 

 

swiftboats motherfucker

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:16 | 4481942 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

$1,000,000,000.00 for Ukraine, but not for Detroit?

 

where is Kanye West proclaiming that "John Kerry Hates Black People"???

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:08 | 4482194 max2205
max2205's picture

Print it....0s and 1s coming at ya

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:15 | 4482221 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Money for Caucasians - even in Russia :)

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:42 | 4482324 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

If you like your Detroit, you can keep your Detroit.  You along with a billion chinese who are buying up Detroit.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:16 | 4481933 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

 

 

*KERRY: RUSSIA MILITARY MOVE ON UKRAINE WOULD BE GRAVE MISTAKE

 

If yesterday were Tuesday Feb 25, 2014, that would be a grave mistake.

Toothless wonder.  Russia's already in, you idiot.

So obvious this is an energy war, Ukraine just the unfortunate country that Putin needs to export through.  Does Detroit have oil under it?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:32 | 4482030 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
  •      *KERRY: RUSSIA MILITARY MOVE ON UKRAINE WOULD BE GRAVE MISTAKE

It's OK if you lie to a war with Syria though:

The American media has blacked out an account by Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Seymour Hersh demonstrating that President Barack Obama and the US government lied when they claimed to have proof that the Syrian government carried out a sarin gas attack last August on areas near Damascus held by US-backed “rebels.”

Obama, Secretary of State John Kerry, US ambassador to the United Nations Samantha Power and other top officials declared categorically that the August 21 attack on Eastern Ghouta, which reportedly killed hundreds of people, had been carried out by the Syrian military. They, along with the leaders of Britain and France, sought to use the gas attack to stampede public opinion behind their plans to attack Syria, cripple the regime of President Bashar al-Assad, and install a puppet government.

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2013/12/11/hers-d11.html

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:01 | 4482168 pods
pods's picture

When we lie it is for democracy or some shit.

(idk, I get tired at the end of the day and cannot come up with anything good. ) 

We are almost always behind these attacks. Oh, and Israel.

I have to find a way to tell the brain dead folks out on Main street that they should hold their disgust seeing dead babies and properly blame who is responsible.

Cause you can damn well be sure our government has a hand in 95% of them.

Fuckers in Langley probably get a hard on planning these things.  

pods

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:31 | 4482511 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

I have to find a way to tell the brain dead folks out on Main street that they should hold their disgust seeing dead babies and properly blame who is responsible.

This might give you some ideas:

http://original.antiwar.com/colleen-rowley/2014/02/24/calls-for-us-milit...

http://fpif.org/military-humanitarian-intervention-shock-doctrine-applie...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:42 | 4482076 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Well, it would be a grave mistake if bath house ordered in the new gay military to attack the Russkies...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:18 | 4482232 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

whatabout der gold

where did it go

iraq,libya,syria,germany nows ukraine someone must nose where it is lets ask george clooney he has some rothschild and nato friends.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:23 | 4482257 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

Did that already. Illegitimates appointed new bank head from Lyiv.

 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:18 | 4482456 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

And yet, there is an argument could be made that spending USG money over there is better spent than over here.

Not only could that argument be made, it is made by those who intend to use that USG money as chains to bind the Ukrainian people.

Think about that...

Indeed.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:07 | 4481884 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Kerry needs a good ol'fasion ASS WHOOPIN...  What a dipshit..

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:31 | 4482281 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

cohens tired old  horse face maybe be meltin but he has had less work done than hanoi jane fonda.

and since kennedy sorry kerry nose all about agent orange,he is perfect adviser for monsanto on how best to destroy sorry improve the old world organic soil charms of der ukraine.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:43 | 4482740 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

What did punctuation ever do to you?!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:22 | 4481975 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

King ofuckit has already bled Detroit and made "promises" to win both elections.

He doesn't need them now.

Detroit is fucked. 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:02 | 4482171 pods
pods's picture

Demographics says Detroit is fucked. Nothing is going to stop that fall.

Anyone with the means to move has already moved.

pods

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:10 | 4482201 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Those that have been forced to stay through what ever circumstances have decided to take things into their own hands.

Have you been reading the news articles about people finally defending themselves with force of arms?

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/02/23/three-separate-detroit-homeowners-shoot-intruders-in-one-week-two-killed/

DaddyO

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 21:29 | 4482949 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Get real.  Detroit is fucked because it's 95% black. Were it 95% white it'd be like Portland.  All black cities are like Detroit.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:08 | 4482195 Freddie
Freddie's picture

$1 billion dollars?  That's it?    LOL!  Will he thrown in a few bottles of Heinz (ADM Corn syrup) catsup with this deal? 

Maybe the people in the Ukraine will wake up and realize they have been played by the USSA/EU/IMF/NWO.

Putin should write a letter to them like he did to the USA.  His letter to Americans was very good.  He sounded more like George Washington and Reagan then an Indonesian/Kenyan race hustler from Chicago.

There is bad blood mainly from Stalin and the same NWO banksters Zios.  Putin and the Russia Eastern Orthodox Church should reach out to teh Ukraine especially after this pathetic $1 billion bailout.

The people of the Ukraine can be serfs for the NWO like the Greeks, endlessly spied on like the Americuns or have a shot with Russia and hopefully some autonomy.

Maybe the people in Ukraine know the Russians are better at sticking to deals than the NWO.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:03 | 4482564 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

Kerry is the horse.

Messrs. Raytheon and Morgan are riding him down Muppetcash Sound holding hands, giggling with delight.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 04:04 | 4483710 spacewiz
spacewiz's picture

When you are short ~17 Trillion dollars, what is another billion sent down the drain... :) Pennies left on the counter..

Paper is still cheap

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:04 | 4481868 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

if you like your russain dictator, you can keep your russian dictator  

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:19 | 4481958 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

Well we don't have the $BILLION..........so I guess he will try to borrow it from the Chinese...Russians...Brazil????  Just like all the billions down the tube in Iraq, Afgan, Paki, Libya, Syria, Egypt....Ad Nauseum.....

 

What a douche........

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:11 | 4482207 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The U.S. aid would be part of a planned massive international assistance package that was expected to include European contributions as well as loans from global financial institutions.

Ukrainians - ask the Greeks how those loans from global financial institutions work out.

Ask Kerry why he is so cheap that he parks his yacht in RI to avoid paiying higher yacht taxes in MassHole.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:16 | 4482226 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Surprise gold shorts!!

We already need another debt ceiling hike!

Back the fuck up outta Jan's way, Ukraine need's a bailout, we're broke, and the fucking labor participation rate is at risk of rising, since Barry came on an said he wants the meskins to build moar roads..

Figure about 140 to start, and she will have to buy everything from post it notes to the state of New York. LOL!!!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:43 | 4482330 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

As soon as Kerry announced that bailout and all that money, jobs sprang up everywhere in my town!

This administration is made up of the best and brightest America has to offer!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:00 | 4481822 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Mr. Purple Medal of Honor for being shot in the butt.
What a joke!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:04 | 4481863 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Don't you mean Mr. Brown as Kerry is a piece of SHIT! Or better yet, how about Mr. Pink, Kerrie's a big pussy.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:21 | 4481872 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

listen here soldier that be a here ho youse is talkin about.

that be a cohen

that bee an aipac jew.

dontes dis raspect der flag of israhell you nazi.

kennedy sorry eye mean kerry is here to remind youse folks that we can never let anudder hollow hoax to happen again.

well not without the say so of steven spielbers der simon weasel  clinic or mossad anyways.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:00 | 4482402 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

Is the former prime minister of Ukraine, Yulia Tymoshenko, a jew?


President of the All-Ukrainian Jewish Congress Vadim Rabinovich

(Translated)

"Especially because the mother Yulia Tymoshenko - a Jew..."


Campaign gets dirty: Leaflets smear Tymoshenko as ‘Jew’

"Unattributed leaflets referring to Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko as 'a Jew' and calling not to vote for her appeared in mail boxes in western Ukraine in the last week before the Feb. 7 runoff vote."

"It reprints an alleged facsimile by the prime minister’s father documenting his supposed Russian and Jewish background and asks why Tymoshenko is hiding her Jewish ancestry. The leaflet also features purported quotes by four individuals, including former presidential candidate Arseniy Yatseniuk, who claim Tymoshenko is Jewish."

"In an interview late last year, presidential candidate Arseniy Yatseniuk blamed the dramatic fall in his ratings in western Ukraine before the first round of voting on a national smear campaign that also alleged he was of Jewish ancestry. 'This country has latent anti-Semitism,' he said at the time."


The lesson from Ukraine: Bezplatno does not exist

"How many of those demonstrating in Kiev and cheering that Timoshenko female (why does she wear that stupid wig? and what's with the wheelchair?) remember why she was thrown into jail?"

"It would come as no surprise if that Timoshenko female miraculously rose from her wheelchair, allowing that blonde wig to fall to the ground and reveal a head bedecked with unkempt black hair (rather a different spectacle and a somewhat sinister one), proclaiming to all and sundry that the Euro Show is the way to go."

"As I write, President Yanukovich is still the democratically elected President of the Ukraine and there exists something called law and order. Not all Ukrainians are in Kiev, not all Ukrainians side with the starry-eyed youth on Euro-Maidan and the monsters hiding in their midst."


Is Tymoshenko simulating her disease?

"Against the backdrop of the reports of a hunger strike by former Prime Minister of Ukraine Yulia Tymoshenko, a scandalous video that may be indicative of the simulation of her serious illness has emerged. The video is dated December 15, 2011, when Tymoshenko was still in Lukyanovka jail in Kiev, 'Vesti' reported. Even then, she complained of severe pain in her back and stayed in bed."

"A video posted on YouTube displays a woman resembling the former premier, who is moving around the cell with ease in high heel shoes and looking into the mirror. Suddenly she seems afraid of some noise and dives under the covers. The camera then shows a person resembling Tymoshenko's lawyer Sergei Vlasenko. The man helps her up - now a woman moves with difficulty."

"On Tuesday, Ukrainian prosecutors acknowledged that Tymoshenko was taken to the medical institution by force, but the prosecutor Gennady Tyurin said that the former prime minister was not beaten."

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:11 | 4481920 Dadburnitpa
Dadburnitpa's picture

Please.  His "wound" was literally treated with bacitracin (aka neosporin) and a BAND AID.  It was not reported by the Navy corpsman who treated him as a combat wound.  It was reported as a combat wound by LT Kerry himself.  The guy has ALWAYS been a fraud.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:38 | 4482060 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yep.

He went about the boat, sliding his bare ass on the deck. Each time he got a splinter of wood in the ass cheeks, he applied for a purple heart.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:48 | 4482755 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

And then after all of that, the plastic surgeon took half of his ass and put it on his face.

So I guess now he's HorseAssFace.

Or is it HorseFaceAss?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:51 | 4482123 Petrodollar Sys...
Petrodollar System Beneficiary's picture

Grant Hibbard of Gulf Breeze, Fla., a retired Navy officer, told MilitaryCorruption.com he was the commanding officer to whom Kerry reported his “battle wound” on Dec. 3, 1968.

“I had confirmed that there was no hostile fire that night and that Kerry had simply wounded himself with an M-79 grenade round he fired too close. He wanted a Purple Heart, and I refused.”

The former Navy commander said Louis Letson, the base physician, saw Kerry and used tweezers to remove a tiny piece of shrapnel – about 1 centimeter in length and 2 millimeters in diameter – from the lieutenant j.g.’s (junior grade) forearm.

“Letson confirmed that the scratch had been self-inflicted when Kerry clumsily used the M-79.”

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:20 | 4482243 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Here is the back story.  Kerry was a Kennedy wannabe but need some military cred to become an NWO stooge/politician.  So through Kennedy naval friends - he got what was supposed to be a coast guard BS gig in Nam.   Well some brass up in the Navy deciided these boats were going to get in the fight and support operations.

Overnight - this went from a cushy gig to a very dangerous one.  So this little coward gets out the manual and finds out if he got three wounds he is out of Vietnam and the service.   He created the three wounds and had a Kennedy admiral get him back stateside to start his antiwar BS.  Fighting a war started by LBJ.  

Most peoiple do not know that Kerry and McCain when they pushed through normalization with Vietnam and selling out any MIAs - Kerry's family (Colliers International comml real estate) - got an exclusive on Vietnam for comml RE. 

http://johnkerry-08.com/war/bendell1.php

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:45 | 4482339 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

"For example, the fabled and distinguished chief of naval operations (CNO), Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, told me -- 30 years ago when he was still CNO -- that during his own command of US naval forces in Vietnam, just prior to his anointment as CNO, young Kerry had created great problems for him and the other top brass, by killing so many non-combatant civilians and going after other non-military targets.

"We had virtually to straight-jacket him to keep him under control," the admiral said. "Bud" Zumwalt got it right when he assessed Kerry as having large ambitions -- but promised that his career in Vietnam would haunt him if he were ever on the national stage."

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1076410/posts

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:38 | 4482714 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

You know if I had read this just 8 years ago I would have said whoever wrote it was either on drugs or had a serious vendetta.

But now we know it's true with what we've witnessed in his role as Secretary of State.  Imagine if he had been President in 2004?

Obviously with what we are already witnessing with the "dual nature" schizophrenia I'm beginning to suspect that they all are, given President Remus pre-2008 election vs. post 2009 oath of office transformation.  Need to have a mandatory psychological evaluation for every lawmaker, President and Director of any Federal Agency if they want to run for public office. Like that would ever happen given the entire Country is on meds.

Jesus Christ our entire lives have been a dream.

For what it's worth thanks for the read!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:01 | 4481830 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

Correction* - The loan guarantee is for Franklin Templeton, not Ukraine.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 23:33 | 4483336 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

Eaxctly.  It's like introducing a loan shark to a gamble addict.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:01 | 4481831 unrulian
unrulian's picture

don't fuck with old swift boat

/s 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:01 | 4481834 Magnix
Magnix's picture

OMG! This is so stupid giving away our tax money! Sheesh! Thats fucked up, man!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:01 | 4481840 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

now, can we all admit that this fucked up ass banker controlled government is a complete MOTHER FUCKING JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:45 | 4482097 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Dear Friend of GATA and Gold:

The Financial Times' Monday report about a study concluding that the daily London gold price fixing is manipulated probably half the time was deliberately removed from the newspaper's Internet site by the newspaper's editorial staff and did not vanish because of any programming glitch.

The confirmation has come from the newspaper's customer service department in reply to inquiries from readers. While the newspaper has not yet answered further inquiries seeking an explanation for the action, it would hardly surprise close followers of the gold market who read the Financial Times to be told that the newspaper's publishing the story in its newsprint edition was itself a mistake, since the FT seems to have a policy against acknowledging gold market manipulation and against reporting anything that might discomfort bullion banks or Western central banks that trade surreptitiously in gold.

Fortunately, the FT story in question, quickly called to your attention by GATA on Sunday night U.S. Eastern time, has been captured by the Google Internet archive here:

http://tinyurl.com/kz542fc

The FT's reply to inquiries reads:

"This is regarding the query you raised about the missing article in FT.com. Our Editorial Team have confirmed that it was their decision to remove the story 'Gold Price Rigging Fears Put Investors on Alert" from FT.com. Should you want to get further information on this please send your query to ean@ft.com. For any inquiries or assistance that you may need, do not hesitate to contact us.

"Kind regards, Rusella Canio, Customer Service Executive, Financial Times Customer Service."

CHRIS POWELL, Secretary/Treasurer
Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee Inc.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:02 | 4481844 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Fuck You Lurch

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:03 | 4481854 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   lol, It's more like a $1 billion {u.s. weapons coupon} for the pro western faction...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:23 | 4481982 saints51
saints51's picture

You can trade your coupon in for 1 surface to air missle and we will throw in a couple artillery shells for the kids...deal????

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:03 | 4481858 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

because Detroit is all tapped out for political contributions.    They aren't allowing EBT cards to donate to political campaigns (yet).

Meanwhile, you'll see that economic aid to Ukraine come chok-full of consultants and advisors and such trash, who happen to have Ivy League degrees and political "connections", bought and paid for.

International "aid" is a tried-and-true technique of laundrying the public treasury into private hands.   You think the oil sheiks drop wads of speaking fees onto the Clintons and Bushes because they like their ties?  

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:05 | 4482183 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Well, they do wear nice ties....

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:03 | 4481859 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:21 | 4481970 resurger
resurger's picture

lol

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:47 | 4482566 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

That one makes me laugh out loud, literally, every time I see it.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:54 | 4482135 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

What an insult to Mr. Munster.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:54 | 4482138 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Dreams of anodes, cathodes and electodes with a high voltage, high current power source.  Light 'em up, baby....

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:18 | 4482458 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Finger should to in front of neck electrode, not behind it. Perspective, perspective, perspective... Redo layer, otherwise B+

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:04 | 4481861 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

$1B? isnt that about as funny as it gets when considering the Fed prints $15-17B every week to give to JPM and GS for not blowing the world up????

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:11 | 4481915 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Well $18 trillion is the limit, anything after that, and the end is surely near.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:04 | 4481864 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Because $16 Trillion in U.S. debt is not enough, now billions more must be thrown down a Ukraine rat hole, to be taken by the corrupt "leaders" the U.S. in selecting.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:13 | 4481922 Termin8or
Termin8or's picture

News Flash TracerFan,  offical debt is now over $17T!   But then again what is a trillion here or there anyways?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:29 | 4482275 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Sorry, I lost track.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:05 | 4481874 venturen
venturen's picture

I suspect Kerry is going to have a long face....when Putin out moves him AGAIN! Obama will look like a fool in foreign policy for the upteem time! 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:32 | 4482034 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Kohn and Bath House have the combined intelligence of a carrot.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:07 | 4481882 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Sorry Detroit you are officialy more worthless then Ukraine...     take the hit, take the hit..

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:07 | 4481883 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Mr. "Horsehead Nebulous" Kerry stinks up the place once again.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:07 | 4481886 toady
toady's picture

What's a few billion between friends? And believe me it'll be AT LEAST a few billion very quickly.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:08 | 4481895 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Too bad Russia doesn't have any pipelines Running through Detroit...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:09 | 4481897 negative rates
negative rates's picture

One of us, was one of the 50 richest people in Ukraine, Mr Kerry, was that your teams donation promise back to the cause?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:10 | 4481906 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Kerry better check the back door again.  There are a few more municipalities in need of a bailout.

This is gonna be fun...

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:10 | 4481907 maskone909
maskone909's picture

dont the american people get some input in this>?  or is it the good ol, "you elected them so deal with it" bullshit

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:10 | 4481909 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Only one billion... I thought it would be more since we can just print whatever we need.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:22 | 4481977 Overfed
Overfed's picture

One $billion that they're going to tell the public about upfront. We'll find out the real cost in a few years.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:11 | 4482205 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

The Fed could cut the check tonight to buy Ukrainian treasuries. Do you really believe this Ukrainian paper is worth less than the mortgages on the Fed's balance sheet. $35 billion will last 2 years for Ukraine and is about 2 weeks of Fed printing. 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:10 | 4481912 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

They just had fair elections.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:11 | 4481918 tickhound
tickhound's picture

The back room meeting went more like this... "Ukraine, what will it take for u to accept a loan from us? Alright, how bout only $1 billion then AND we up our public criticism."

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:14 | 4481935 Cow
Cow's picture

Do you really give a shit about Detroit?  I think I'd have to think about that for a while.  It's not that obvious.

The couch sitting, EBT cashing, 40 drinking, Obama voting, Polar bear hunters in Detroit vs. the folks losing their lives just cause they want to free Ukrainians.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:17 | 4481948 WTFx10
WTFx10's picture

Freedom equals a 1 billion dollar loan. Just another form of slavery.

They hate us for our freedoms, 17 trillion freedoms.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:40 | 4482055 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

 

"The couch sitting, EBT cashing, 40 drinking, Obama voting, Polar bear hunters in Detroit...."

 

Does that go for the people setting up local farming areas around the city to provide food for those that can't buy any? E.g. old people, disable folk, children.

"One farmer, who would identify himself only as Magnetic Sun, said he is a 33-year-old, lifelong Detroit resident.

Tired of seeing his friends struggle to feed their families, he started gardening on a lot near his home. Now he grows corn, tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, kale, sunflowers, and more. Walking around his garden, he pulls an ear of corn off a plant, shucks it and takes a bite.

“I feed the elderly people on the block, the youth they come down, they help they take food home, we sell a little bit at the market, and you know, I feed myself and my family,” he said. “My aunty is 84 years old and has never seen a zucchini till last year. She’s 84 years old and she’s never seen the squash grow on the plant!”

Does that go for the groups of men that banded together to cut the grass around the city in parks and fields for kids to play safely? 

"Created in 2010, about 20 of the Detroit Mower Gang’s 40 core members mow abandoned parks and playgrounds every other Wednesday night. Members bring their own mowers, trimmers, leaf blowers, gas cans and other supplies. Those without equipment pick up trash, trim and do other lawn care jobs."

 

Yes what is happening over in Ukraine is bad, but it isn't our responsibilities. Where is the help to the people I just listed above making a difference here stateside? Where is it listed in our nations documents that it's our responsibility to pick up the worlds pieces and put them back together? That's our MOTHERFUCKING tax money. 

 

End rant.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:50 | 4482118 Cow
Cow's picture

No.  It excludes those two.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:15 | 4481940 youngman
youngman's picture

Boris would agree with me..but lets make sure we get some Ukraine women andbring them here for collateral...tits on a stick....they are great looking....and can carry a 100 pund pack to boot..

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:40 | 4482069 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Where were they going to go with that 100 lbs of skunk juice they are carrying? Not in your boat i'm certain.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:18 | 4481955 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Quite agree, quite agree : the glory of empire must shine on, even if the peasants starve. Well done, Kerry!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:02 | 4482159 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

It's the Private Prep School and Yale way.  Only proper now.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:19 | 4482238 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

"It's only Fair!"

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:20 | 4481963 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Kerry ? Really ??

Whatever...

Don't know who's the bigger clown though: him, Biden, or McCain.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:50 | 4482113 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Biggest WarBozo.......????  McCain, Biden?  I think I'll go Kerry, only because he used to claim to be an anti-war protester, and now celebrates bombings, invasions and US instigated coups at every opportunity.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:22 | 4481976 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

That's awesome!!!!

 

Kerry, just after announcing spending cuts in the military, is making threats.

 

Putin is a murderous communist asshole, but Barry and Kerry are fucking idiots.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:23 | 4481980 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

"Dear John.  Thanks.  Your pal, Val."

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:23 | 4481988 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Do I hear 1.25, 1.25; 1.25 can I get 1.5, 1.5 going, got 1.5.. 1.5 to Vladimir congratulations Vlad you just bought it..

We live in a joke wrapped in a daliesque painting..

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:27 | 4482009 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

Good for him, stealing money from the American people.  It's not like people in the US had plans for that money, like buying food, or paying bills.  Fucking thieving fuck.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:29 | 4482021 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Kohn is just doing what the Tribe orders him to do.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:33 | 4482290 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

A lot of Heinz ketchup will be spilled in Ukraine along with billions of dollars and many lives just as in Iraq , Afghanistan Syria, etc. Vietnam has long been forgotten

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:31 | 4482032 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

What the fuck is up with this guy, Kohn, Kerry whatever

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:35 | 4482046 sfisher
sfisher's picture

Another billion key stroked into existance by the Federal Reserve that the IRS can tax the US population (including our children) to repay with interest.  

Somehow I believe that our children will be smarter than that.  They will say FU to the debt and FU to the Social Security obligations and FU to the Medicare/Medicade, etc.

Our generation allowed this ass rape to occur and it will come back to us in spades.  See you in the food line! 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:37 | 4482301 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Oh no no no.  I paid in.  I am not even a baby boomer and I want my Soc Security and Medicare.  I paid in and I deserve what is coming to me.    Those kids better get back to work at their social media jobs doing blooging and such.  (sarc)

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:36 | 4482047 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

Your second wife's money, I presume, Mr. Heinz?  Bribemeister.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:42 | 4482072 radiobomb
radiobomb's picture

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:43 | 4482080 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

part of our "no billionaire left behind" policy

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:44 | 4482088 nakki
nakki's picture

How much US confetti gets tossed around the world? 30-40 billion? How much is skimed in this country by the mic? What's another billion. Fuck most of it will probably be diverted back to the CIA, you know the Culinary Institute of America.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:52 | 4482102 ChargingHandle
ChargingHandle's picture

Click Click Click. There we go. 1 Billion just like that.

Perhaps you would like some SAMs to go with it as it they could come in handy when Putin comes to claim his strategic military base. 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:46 | 4482104 I woke up
I woke up's picture

Proof that debts and deficits are meaningless to these people, they will paper over everything until they can no longer do it

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:47 | 4482107 graneros
graneros's picture

And when did Congress approve this???? Oh that's right right we're no longer a Republic beholden to our own written laws.  Silly me.  Well the only good thing that will come out this quagmire is Obama and Kerry will have their asses handed to them by Putin.  I hope no Americans lose their lives in this as well.  Let me rephrase that; I hope none of our military members lose their lives over this. But they are mercenaries and will fight and die for what ever cause their masters tell them to fight and die for.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:51 | 4482121 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

What the Russians, most Americans and ZHers fail to understand, is that Americans know how to POKER.

Americans are 'The Gambler':  You gotta know when to hold, when to fold, when to walk away, when to run.

Why have war, when you can take over whole countries with Hooligans, deranged/hired Mercs & zealot Jihadists, Agent Provocateurs, posturing and PR-warfare, and limited military engagement?  It's reminiscent of the Jedi Mind-trick:  "Back off.  You do not want to fight us."

After Syria, Obama wants to front-run the public opinion and Russian actions with chest-beating of his own.  The question is: Do the Russians have the clarity to see through this, and the courage to defend their own Frontier? 

Tell will tell who has bigger balls and a more devious mind:  Obama or Putin.  I'd like to think it's the latter, but let's wait & see.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:58 | 4482158 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture

 

 

You need more data? LOL How'd you get past security to post here?

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:04 | 4482177 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Obama has bigger balls.  Only problem is they are on his chin.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 17:56 | 4482149 Debugas
Debugas's picture

$1 bln is small change

Ukrain needs $35bln for this year alone

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:19 | 4482237 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

This $1 billion is a retainer fee for the protesters.  They still need to crack a lot of skulls in East Ukraine.

The IMF will provide the $35 billion for Ukraine itself once the ink is dry on the dotted line.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:05 | 4482162 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Quick, the Russians need to retain Prof. Bruce Bueno de Mequita for an in-depth Analysis and Prediction of likely outcomes.

He was profiled on the History channel several times, and was described as a modern-day Nostradamus.  He uses proprietary mathematical models to make his predictions.  Back around 1980 the DOD approached him and were skeptical.  They have since become huge followers of his, due to his amazing prediction accuracy.  For more info, see:

http://www.predictioneersgame.com/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Bueno_de_Mesquita

Even ZH cited him last Dec.  http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-12-17/previewing-tomorrows-fed-prison...

Suggest that they also use their math wizard and computers to create similar models, until they are as good as his.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:00 | 4482165 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

"If I like your Ukraine, I can keep your Ukraine. Period!"

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:07 | 4482186 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Sooo....

Do we still have time to collect in place like Detroit, Chicago, San Francisco, Manhattan, Washington D.C. ... to let them know that the telethon for bandits in Ukraine that has already reached $6 billion and counting needs to stop, or the American people are ready to go "medival on some lawmaker buttocks" with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch!!!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:17 | 4482228 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Ukraine has fewer dumb worthless welfare parasites than does Detroit.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:18 | 4482230 10mm
10mm's picture

But it's in Muricas BEST INTREST as they always tell us.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:26 | 4482267 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Will the admin make the Ukrainians buy Obamacare? 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:32 | 4482288 BiPolarFrenchman
BiPolarFrenchman's picture

By the time they figure out it's time to bail out their own citizens, the barricades will be overrun and the guillotines will be sprouting.  

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:34 | 4482292 kozi
kozi's picture

To give some conditional $1b loan to Ukraine (which probably will require Ukraine to buy US military sector products or something like that) will create more jobs in US than Fed’s ~$1b daily purchases of US treasuries from Chinese investors who won’t invest in the US production anyway (so no jobs are created at all).

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:39 | 4482308 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Really John.  Sure no worries, just print some more money.  And what, the world does not see through these tactics.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 18:46 | 4482346 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

I hope he asked his wife first!

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:12 | 4482441 FishHockers
FishHockers's picture

If Putin makes a move kerry will throw his medals at him, if the grounds keeper at the White house gave them back. Other than that Putin has NOTHING to worry about.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:35 | 4482520 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

So, the US government always has bailout money for corporations, Wall Street, or foreign countries, but no money for a social safety net in the USA or our states.

Anything that goes to American citizens, they claim poverty.

Can we exchange all of DC for Edward Snowden, then let Vlad Putin send all our traitorous politicians to a Siberian gulag? Hey, then put it on Pay-per-view for Americans to gather round the telly to watch with some popcorn.  A "Hunger Games" for politicians.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 19:54 | 4482585 MollyHacker
MollyHacker's picture

This bailout going to include a good chunk of mil.surplus for you guessed it... Rifles, riot gear er you get the pic, to enact reforms, curb corruption, and prepare free and fair elections again.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:14 | 4482627 P?keh?
Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:10 | 4482638 falak pema
falak pema's picture

that must be the 1 billion that Erdogan thought he had in his safe houses...all gone now; to Kiev.

HOT Money flies faster than the Virgin plane to the moon. 

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:52 | 4482777 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

What's a billion dollars between friends? Besides we can type as many Ones and Zeros on The Fed keyboard as we want. Right? Keep those presses runing and I will keep trading paper for metal.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 20:59 | 4482807 mumbo_jumbo
mumbo_jumbo's picture

well, we bail out the "job creators" all the time with billions in free cash so they can go an create jobs in China so this makes perfect sense.

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 23:02 | 4483256 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Rome is burning so why not fiddle?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 04:07 | 4483713 spacewiz
spacewiz's picture

And since US doesn't have any money - I guess we'll have to borrow that 1 Billion from Chinese, or Russia...

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