Obama Asks Court To Make NSA Database Even Bigger

Tyler Durden's picture

When a hypertotalitarian banana republic takes another turn for the gigasurreal, even Elon Musk is speechless.

In the most glaring example of how farcical idiocy has become the new normal, we will remind readers (especially those who do not follow us on twitter), of the following blurb from last night:

Sure enough, this attempt at comedy has just failed once more, as less than 24 hours later, it describes an increasingly surreal reality. Just out from the WSJ:

The Obama administration has asked a special court for approval to hold onto National Security Agency phone records for a longer period–an unintended consequence of lawsuits seeking to stop the phone-surveillance program.


The Wall Street Journal reported last week that the Justice Department was considering such a move, which would end up expanding the controversial phone records database by not deleting older call records.


Under the current system, the database is purged of phone records more than five years old. The Justice Department, in a filing made public Wednesday, said it needs to hold onto the older records as evidence in lawsuits brought by the American Civil Liberties Union, Electronic Frontier Foundation, and others.


Under the proposal made to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, the older data would continue to be held, but NSA analysts would not be allowed to search it.

The gruesome irony of course is that after his so heartfelt, if completely scripted and rehearsed, appearance before the US public one month ago, when Obama promised he would do everything in his power to reform the NSA, including the ending of the Section 215 metadata collection, and the retenion of bulk phone records, the president certainly kept his promise. Just not quite in the way that everyone had assumed.

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Theta_Burn's picture

Virtual currency users beware...

Ahmeexnal's picture

Impeach this moron already.

macholatte's picture


...when Obama promised he would do everything in his power to...


we already know how that works: screw the sheeple

Manthong's picture

Although Himmler is baking on the 9th circle of the inferno, this has to warm his heart.

The Abstraction of Justice's picture

Here is a link for your NSA twats:



We're gonna take you all down, one by one. 

gmrpeabody's picture

Il Duce...., he even looks the part.

Supernova Born's picture

I figured out who hates our freedom.

SoberOne's picture

And it's not OBL or any jihadists. Those guys hate us for our hellfires. End Obozo.

eatthebanksters's picture

Once again a fucking lying POS!

1000 splendid suns's picture

"Soetoro, party of four, on tee on the back nine..."

F.U. Valerie

dryam's picture

"Special Court".......how convenient.

nmewn's picture

Saaay, this Obama fellow sure seems to be on some sort of egomaniacal power trip doesn't he?

icanhasbailout's picture

at this point he doesn't even need to make his own evil plots... he can just read ZH and read everyone's satirical nightmare scenarios

HoofHearted's picture

It's like the Tylers are psycho or something. Er, I mean psychic. BO is the psycho one.

So if the Tylers are psychic, what are the Powerball numbers for this weekend? Do some good for a peon out here. I promise I'll spend all the money on farmland, gold, and some really bitchin' 50BMGs. It's what I'd do anyhow.

TeamDepends's picture

We interrupt your regularly scheduled PROGRAMMING for this special report from the White House Choom Room:

(teleprompter):  Naaaahh, just kidding!

wee-weed up's picture



The REAL "gruesome irony" of course is...

Now, from the Libs and the MSM, who eviscerated Bush...

(And I hate Bush!)

For doing only a fraction of what this dictator is now doing.

The silence is deafening...

RSloane's picture

Are you kidding? They're still debating whether he is a god or just the most exceptional human being ever born and should be worshiped anyway.

nmewn's picture

So this is what its like when "Hope" turns to despair and all one has left is pocket "Change".

Thought Processor's picture



"You keep the Hope, I'll keep the Change"


Brought to you by Obummer (the latest in a long line of CIA puppet presidents).

OccupyTVstations's picture

You don't really believe that do you? I know plenty of people that hated Bush, saw him as a traitor. All of these people now see Obama as the same... sure they gave him the benefit of the doubt at first, then after a year or two we were all fed up.

So the red team hates this guy, and now most of the blue team too- but he won re-election because the other candidate was even worse. Sorta like Bush v Kerry in '04.

The fact is that there has never been a better time to revolt. The majority of Americans know Congress and the Puppet are frauds, and more importantly- the cops/military will be on our side.

MontgomeryScott's picture

Don't know who would downvote you here...

There seem to be many supporters of corporate facism, global dominance, and the plan to depopulate Earth by war, violence, and pestilence, that have made their way on to this site, which (at one time) was populated by those of sounder minds and the dream of positive outcomes for humanity.

The 'opposition' in '08 (the selected one, Mitt Romney) had established the beta-test healthcare plan in MA. (which was referred to as 'RomneyCare'). Obama even referred to it as the 'BLUEPRINT' for 'Obamacare'. Those BUSHITES forget this FACT (along with many others), regarding this pivotal selection (not 'election', as this implies that the People actually HAVE A CHOICE in the matter... the TWO corporate facist political orginizations known as the RNC and the DNC have long ago hikacked the election process, and trot up thier so-called 'contenders' who agree on everything of importance, like militarization of the police, NSA spying, the FEDERAL RESERVE status, the MIC funding bills, the erosion of Constitutional promises, the CHOICE OF SUPREME COURT NOMINEES, and the IRS TAXATION LEGALITY...).

Again, I can't imagine a person who, being aware of these undisputable facts, would downvote your comment.

Marge N Call's picture

Thought Experiment:

1. Just substitute "Bush" for "Obama" in some of the headlines and scandals, such as Obamacare website delay, NSA, Bengazi, Fast/Furious.

2. Then ask yourself if the headlines and talking heads would have the same "excuses" for Bush as they do for Obama.

Do you REALLY think the NY Times et al would NOT have called for Bush's resignation on any one, forget about the combination, of those rumors, let alone fact?

If so, then you are hopelessly naive; you are on a team and don't even seem to know it, or admit to it. Worse, you don't realize that the media is an arm of the govmt. At least with Bush, the media hated him in general, so did hollyweird, which is much healthier.


TheReplacement's picture

We'll know the outcome of that debate by if they try to get him a 3rd term or "for life".

MontgomeryScott's picture

You are referring to G Bush the Younger, of course, who pushed and signed the USAPATRIOT, established the TSA, put all kinds of governmental agencies under the umbrella of the DHS (INCLUDING the United States Coast Guard, for God's sake!) started up Guantanamo, invaded Iraq and Afghanistan, signed legislation the retroactively exonerated the telecoms from gathering and passing information to the NSA for their database, had a vice-president who came out in support of waterboarding and said that 'defecits don't matter', whose father spoke famously on September 11, 1991, of the fact that 'WE' will achieve the New World Order, and so many other things that cannot be detailed here (in order that the groundwork BUSH LAID would allow his predecessor, SOETORO, to continue and GROW this current facist totalitarian superstate...

WHAT did you say, again? I missed your point COMLETELY.

Oh, I almost forgot about the FIRST bankster bailout ($700 Billion). THAT was Bushie (your alleged hero), as well...

Either your memory is jaded by partisan politics, or you weren't alive and paying attention back in the years 2000-2009. i don't THINK you're 5 years old, however...



kchrisc's picture

Great wise-one once said: "They do not lie, if one understands that everything they say is a lie."


Another great and wise-one said: “They do not lie, if their heads lie in a basket.”

Ness.'s picture

Yet another great one.  "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie, you believe it"

MontgomeryScott's picture

A twisted logic argument like yours was once used in a Star Trek episode (not all the other fake ones, the ORIGINAL one, back in the 1960's).

The enterprise was hijacked by a cyborg programmed by one Harry Mudd. Mudd is actually enslaved by them...

The finishing blow comes when Mudd and Kirk pose Norman the Liar paradox, where Mudd claims he is lying and Kirk claims everything Mudd says is a lie. Short circuiting at this imponderable logical contradiction, Norman finally shuts down. Without a controlling leader, the other androids freeze up and stop working. This allows them to be reprogrammed to return to their original task of making the planet habitable. Mudd is officially and indefinitely paroled to the android population, which he finds acceptable until he realizes, to Kirk and his crew's amusement, that not only has the nagging android Stella been reprogrammed not to respond to the command "Shut up!" but there are now at least 500 copies of her.


Everything I needed to know, I learned on Star Trek. (That's a book, by the way. I used to have a copy, back in the 1970's)

I think my old avatar was more recognizable (the Titanic taking the plunge).

Joe Davola's picture

See, it's all those entities protecting your rights who are forcing them to trample them further.

Wait, what...

Ignatius's picture

"Under the proposal made to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, the older data would continue to be held, but NSA analysts would not be allowed to search it."

Her older undies would continue to be held, but NSA analysts would not be allowed to sniff them.

MontgomeryScott's picture


I have a gun, but I won't use it. Trust me.


Your Social Security number is a private number between you and your government, and will never be used for any other purpose than securing your retirement benefits. (YES, they actually stated this, way back)

NSA analysts would not be allowed to search it (that is, if Congress stands up and says that this is not only illegal, but unConstitutional). Oh, YEAH, they're gonna do THAT won't they? WAIT: Let's ask Chuck Hegel... SEE! It's because of Terrorists, terror, terrorists 9/11, terror attacks, terrorterrorterrorists WMD, Yellowcake Uranium, mobile production facilities, terror, Tea Party terror, terrorist groups, SPLC studies, and 'actionable information'.    WELL, I'm GLAD CONGRESS finally decided to go along with the 'RIGHT' decision regarding NSA powers... (Obama, Hegel, Pelosi, McCain, Hoyer, Boehner, Reid, Yellen, et.al., 2014)


bigdumbnugly's picture

thong, dante may have to crank it up to 10 (or maybe even 11) to get this obummer guy the level he deserves.

get me spinal tap on the line.


Oldwood's picture

Come on! He is only doing because he loves us so. Why we could be his Ni**er.

shovelhead's picture

You can'Smell the Glove' from here.

Overfed's picture

Better yet, get some rope.

pods's picture

Does anyone with two brain cells passing in the night cortex think they have purged anything?

There will be a purge, just not the one that everyone is clamoring for.


gmrpeabody's picture

"two brain cells passing in the night"  Classic...

Thanks, Pods..., you made my day.

NemoDeNovo's picture

F#(& It, nobody lives forever viva la revolution!!!!!!!!!

MontgomeryScott's picture

Frank Sinatra: "Strangers In The Night":


Strangers in the night,

exchanging rubbers...

This one is to tight,

I'll try another...

This one is too loose,

I think I lost my juice...

Doo be do be doo, be do be do doo...

Like two ships passing in the night, ...

Zymurguy's picture

A purge of those records will only occur if we revolt, organize and physically assault these data centers and destroy them.  They are all in violation of our God given rights and we would be just to do so.

The_Dude's picture

OT but not....


When do you think this future head of the Justice Dept. will be appointed so we can get some real 'thought control' laws on the books? 

I completely understand why 'academics' are often the first to take a bullet when people decide they have had enough.

MontgomeryScott's picture

Unfortunately, you are correct.

willwork4food's picture

Might want to stop going to the mall every day, war is coming.

Stoploss's picture

Not a moron.


onewayticket2's picture

because he's not a moron.  He's a Statist.  He has been taught this method as a means to "fundamentally transform America" by breaking it and rebuilding (in His image). 

this is intentional, not accidental.

Meat Hammer's picture

His image?  Bullshit.  He's a PTB cum-rag and will go the way of the rest of the cum-rags.

When they erect his conciliatory statue on the south side of Chicago I want to be the first of many to piss on it.