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Pro-Russian Gunmen Seize Ukraine Crimean Parliament; Russia Puts Jets On High Alert; Hryvnia In Record Plunge

Tyler Durden's picture


All those clips we showed in the past few days of Russian forces amassing in the Crimean (such as this one)? Well, turns out they were all predictive of what has just happened in the Crimean region parliament at Simferopol, where around 120 pro-Russian Gunmen occupied the parliament building and raised the Russian flag. The scene was the site of Wednesday’s scuffles between Tatar groups and pro-Russian supporters. As Euronews reports, local Tatar leader Refat Chubarov posted that the buildings have been occupied by men in uniforms bearing “no recognisable insignia.” Kyiv says it would regard any movements by Russian military in Crimea outside Moscow’s Black Sea Base in Sevastopol as an act of aggression. Following the fall of President Viktor Yanukovych divisions in Ukraine have come to the fore. All this happens as Russian troops in the area are building up and at the same time as Russia put fighter jets on combat alert, according to Interfax.

The Russian flag flies atop the parliament building:

Euronews clarifies that the 120 men that seized Crimea parliament "have enough weapons to defend [the buildings] for a month" according an MP quoted by Interfax agency. Former Crimean Prime Minister and UDAR MP Serhiy Kunitsyn said to the agency that he spent all the night in contact with the armed group, "These professionally trained people are armed. They brought weapons - automatic weapons, grenade launchers, and machine guns," he said, while speaking from the Ukraine parliament on Thursday.

According to Bloomberg, the group is allowing deputies to enter the legislature in the city of Simferopol for a possible vote on the status of Crimea, home to Russia’s Black Sea fleet, the Center of Journalist Research said. Ukraine prosecutors began a terrorism probe. .

“Provocateurs are on the march,” Acting Interior Minister Arsen Avakov said on his Facebook Inc. page as police cordoned off the block around parliament. “It’s time for cool heads, the consolidation of healthy forces and precise actions.”

At the same time Ukraine's Foreign Ministry summoned Russia's acting envoy in Kiev for immediate consultations.

"I am appealing to the military leadership of the Russian Black Sea fleet," said Olexander Turchinov, acting president since the removal of Viktor Yanukovich last week. "Any military movements, the more so if they are with weapons, beyond the boundaries of this territory (the base) will be seen by us as military aggression

Reports Reuters:

There were mixed signals from Moscow, which put fighter jets along its western borders on combat alert, but earlier said it would take part in discussions on an International Monetary Fund (IMF) financial package for Ukraine. Ukraine has said it needs $35 billion over the next two years to stave off bankruptcy. The fear of military escalation prompted expressions of concern from the West, with NATO Secretary General Anders Fogh Rasmussen urging Russia not to do anything that would "escalate tension or create misunderstanding".


Polish foreign minister Radoslaw Sikorski called the seizure of government buildings in the Crimea a "very dangerous game". "This is a drastic step, and I'm warning those who did this and those who allowed them to do this, because this is how regional conflicts begin," he told a news conference.


It was not immediately known who was occupying the buildings in the regional capital Simferopol and they issued no demands, but witnesses said they spoke Russian and appeared to be ethnic Russian separatists.


Interfax news agency quoted a witness as saying there were about 60 people inside and they had many weapons. It said no one had been hurt when the buildings were seized in the early hours by Russian speakers in uniforms that did not carry identification markings.


"We were building barricades in the night to protect parliament. Then this young Russian guy came up with a pistol ... we all lay down, some more ran up, there was some shooting and around 50 went in through the window," Leonid Khazanov, an ethnic Russian, told Reuters. "They're still there ... Then the police came, they seemed scared. I asked them (the armed men) what they wanted, and they said 'To make our own decisions, not to have Kiev telling us what to do'," said Khazanov.


About 100 police were gathered in front of the parliament building, and a similar number of people carrying Russian flags later marched up to the building chanting "Russia, Russia" and holding a sign calling for a Crimean referendum. One of them, Alexei, 30, said: "We have our own constitution, Crimea is autonomous. The government in Kiev are fascists, and what they're doing is illegal ... We need to show our support for the guys inside (parliament). Power should be ours."a

As a reminder, so far Putin has been silent on his views about the sovereignty of the Crimean region which is host to the critical Russian Sevastopol naval base. Russian President Vladimir Putin has ignored calls by some ethnic Russians in Crimea to reclaim the territory handed to then Soviet Ukraine by Soviet Communist leader Nikita Khrushchev in 1954. The United States says any Russian military action would be a grave mistake. But Russia's foreign ministry said in a statement that Moscow would defend the rights of its compatriots and react without compromise to any violation of those rights.

Russian Lenta, citing the Crimean information agency, reports that the Crimean deputees have begun a referendum on the status of the Crimean autonomy, which is not quite a secession. Yet.

Elsewhere, Ukraine's deposed president, who as we reported first some time ago had fled to Russia, reappeared, as expected in Russia, and claimed legitimacy to his post saying the Ukraine's "mob" actions were illegal . From Reuters:

Ukraine's Viktor Yanukovich said on Thursday he was still the legitimate president of his country and that people in its southeastern and southern regions would never accept the "lawlessness" brought by leaders chosen by a mob. Russian news agencies quoted a statement by Yanukovich as saying he had asked Moscow to guarantee his personal safety.


The statement could not be independently verified and it was not clear where Yanukovich was, although some media groups have suggested he is in Moscow after fleeing Ukraine, where he was toppled by opposition forces at the weekend.


Russian President Vladimir Putin's spokesman said he had no information and could not comment on the statement.


"I, Viktor Fedorovich Yanukovich appeal to the people of Ukraine. As before I still consider myself to be the lawful head of the Ukrainian state, chosen freely by the will of the Ukrainian people," he was quoted as saying.


"Now it is becoming clear that the people in southeastern Ukraine and in Crimea do not accept the power vacuum and complete lawlessness in the country, when the heads of ministries are appointed by the mob."


"On the streets of many cities of our country there is an orgy of extremism," he said, adding that he and his closest aides had been threatened physically.


"I have to ask the Russian authorities to provide me with personal safety from the actions of extremists."


Russian television showed what it said was a copy of the statement.


Interfax news agency quoted a source in the authorities as saying Moscow would ensure Yanukovich's safety on the Russian territory.


"In connection with the appeal by president Yanukovich for his personal security to be guaranteed, I report that the request has been granted on the territory of the Russian Federation," the source was quoted as saying.

And just to make sure tensions reach a fever pitch, Interfax reported a few hours ago that Russian fighter jets along the Western Border were put on high alert:

The crews of fighter jets deployed in Russia's Western Military Districts have been placed on high alert as part of surprise combat drills ordered by Russian President and Supreme Commander-in-Chief Vladimir Putin on Wednesday, the Defense Ministry said.


"Our fighter jets are constantly patrolling the airspace over border districts," the ministry said in a press release, seen by Interfax-AVN on Thursday. "As soon as they were put on high alert, aviation units of the Western Military District redeployed to their operative air fields," it said.


At the moment, "the district's bombers are tackling combat training tasks targeting an imaginary adversary at aviation training ranges," the ministry said.

Not surprisingly, the Ukraine economy, already in critical condition, is shutting down and the Hryvnia is imploding: Ukraine’s currency weakened 10.3 percent to 11.2 per dollar at 12:21 p.m. in Kiev, the lowest level since it was introduced in 1996, data compiled by Bloomberg show. The central bank imposed capital controls this month to stem its decline.

Finally, the story in pictures as reported by Euronews:


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Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:04 | 4483848 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Not surprising...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:09 | 4483856 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

And of course they're Russian troops or whatever the KGB is called these days.

And we better stay the fuck out of there!


Is this the Black Swan??

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:09 | 4483863 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey, disconnect the phone

I'm back in the USSR

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:16 | 4483878 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I have to say I like the idea of carrying a baton in a boot scabbard as the woman (?) officer on the far right is doing near the end of the above video.

Hopefully it twist locks in place to prevent an attacker from taking it easily.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:30 | 4484045 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

War i sunnatural.

Else we'd see herds/schools/prides regualry indulge in mass kill-offs.

The fact that this not happen in nature tells us that ALL such conflict is manufactured.

Starve the beast, don't fight it till it shows it's underbelly.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:40 | 4484073 Truthseeker2
Truthseeker2's picture

"With Putin at the helm, Russia is now quite likely to plot a much more aggressive course of action.  He maintains the posture of a Zen warrior who knows how to wield his samurai sword when necessary.  Hailing from St. Petersburg, Russia, he also likes a great game of chess.  It is on this regional geo-political chessboard of eastern Asia that his largely Anglo-American opponents will face formidable challenges in the very near future.  Just as the Russia Empire and the British Empire squared off against each other seeking supremacy in Central Asia during the first half of the 19th century."


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:51 | 4484118 Arius
Arius's picture

this is VERY DANGEROUS !!! 

if succesful it will spread like wildfire throughout the former Soviet Union, with all the fake borders and reunite minorities with their home countries .... then continue into the Balkans, Middle East, and it will culminate most probably in western hemisfere ... hopefully America will be safe, but if this SEPARATIST MOVEMENT is succesful all bets are off

Not sure if the Russians in Sevastopol know what they are playing with, or if they care really ...


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:58 | 4484139 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

As one comment said last night, "they are buying another Chechnya,"

but one much easier armed from the outside, in which all manner of thugs and cut throats can play.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:58 | 4484148 Manthong
Manthong's picture

“react without compromise”

A few folks over there are going to learn the meaning of that term the hard way.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:10 | 4484184 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

obama told Putin, "I'll have more flexibility after the election."  Well, do you feel flexible, punk?  Well, do 'ya?  Usurpation.  Sheeple, stay armed and ready.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:22 | 4484229 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

We don't call them troops or even the Foreign Legion anymore, they're Independant Contractors these days.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:27 | 4484239 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

and they don't work for K-rations and cigarettes.  Check Bezos Propaganda Arm aka WAPO.

The going rate is about $150,000..., of course if your ass is blown away, they never heard of you.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:29 | 4484247 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

The Ukraine girls really knock me out...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:36 | 4484272 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Damn straight, Pea.

Bavarian farm stock from the old country, mostly, but they got something right.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:17 | 4484361 semperfidelis
semperfidelis's picture

As a silver bug I welcome this announcement :)

Let the games begin

The armored Olympics 2.0, the next edition after Kurks, now with millions of dead

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:49 | 4484315 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

They leave the west behind ?!?!?!?


Unintentional, of course. Sir Paul back then was just picking names off a map and making funny rhymes, but then, all these years later ...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:53 | 4484127 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Yes, the multifaceted joys of limited war in the Crimea.

You would think the Russians and the Brits, at least, would no better.

Much like Afghanistan, it is a traditional killing field, which no one holds for long.  When will they ever learn?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:21 | 4484223 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Charge of the Light Brigade


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:33 | 4484250 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

cannon to left of them, cannon to right of them,

cannon in front of them volleyed and thundered,

through the gates of hell, into the valley of death, rode the six hundred.

   Sounds like Kipling, but it's the best thing Alfred Lord Tennyson ever did.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:42 | 4484291 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Let's be real here, "our mess at home" is far to large to clean up. We have played Dictator of the world for far too long. DC believes they are the only super-power & that they can dictate to the rest of the world how they are supposed to conduct their nations & how their people are to believe.
After all, DC continually claims we occupy/invade other countries to "protect our interests & further our values".

The only way that the world is going to see these UNITED STATES, CORP. INC. as not being their enemy & seeing that the true enemy is DC, is for We The People to rise up against this Criminally corrupt, illegitimate government & take back OUR REPUBLIC.

As long as we continue to pay taxes, being the financiers of DC & doing absolutely NOTHING to stop all this madness, we will be seen as the enemy, because all the crimes DC is committing worldwide are done in OUR NAME.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:27 | 4484497 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Correct, nothing changes until the governed remove their consent, period.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 14:06 | 4485441 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

<-- Post courtesy of CIA

<-- Red state protestor, not long for this world

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:21 | 4484464 elwind45
elwind45's picture

Nato is done. The one thing the alliance was sold on is containing Russia and not protecting poppies? ZEN WARRIOR or willing to protect self interest neither concept is world shattering? The Ukraine is much more important to the Russians then a couple of posturing Belgian imagine. Lessons will now begin!

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:40 | 4484075 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

great squirrel vs chipmunk war of 1837

23 milion casualties

7 million refugees

11 million displaced or homeless

i'll down arrow myself to save you time

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:49 | 4484111 Arius
Arius's picture

this is VERY DANGEROUS !!! 

if succesful it will spread like wildfire throughout the former Soviet Union, with all the fake borders and reunite minorities with their home countries .... then continue into the Balkans, Middle East, and it will culminate most probably in western hemisfere ... hopefully America will be safe, but if this SEPARATIST MOVEMENT is succesful all bets are off

Not sure if the Russians in Sevastopol know what they are playing with, or if they care really ...


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:53 | 4484126 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The "status quo" varies, depending were you are.  America and the west can do nothing, as the Russians have similar strike capabilities in the air and better strike capability on the ground.

I am sure NATO will "fart in their general direction", but that is about all they can do.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:21 | 4484222 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

The Rothschild's will be up to their eyeballs setting up central banks...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:34 | 4484249 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Kerry and Obama..

moose and squirrel.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:24 | 4484485 11b40
11b40's picture

Similar to Syria, in that the US has no real leverage when push comes to shove.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:16 | 4483879 Devotional
Devotional's picture

Honey: Ok honey-buns, I will stay in the USSA with the CIA, NSA, TSA and the postman too. Mwaaaaah!

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:27 | 4483897 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Compared to the USSR.....the USSA is like keystone cops.


Like anyone in the Ukraine would stand for a lockdown of an entire city to search for one lone bomber.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:34 | 4483914 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

What the people of Ukraine are being put through is absolutely horrible.  They are caught in the middle of a massive tug of war between the East and the West, and they are paying a great price for it.  Ultimately, Ukraine will end up either being dominated by Russia (a bad outcome) or by the EU and the United States (another bad outcome).

Saw this as I perused the blogs this morning.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:41 | 4483923 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



What the people of Ukraine are being put through is absolutely horrible.


I'm sure you meant to say......again.


Americans might want to take note of this crap....just sayin. Yes we can?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:55 | 4483961 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Can you say, war.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:13 | 4483998 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

i guess i was wrong, because this is not where i thought world war three would start

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:23 | 4484017 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Who said anything about WW3?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:29 | 4484040 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:19 | 4484211 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

barack, susan, and john will stand down - let the Soviet reconstitute - that was their plan all along.  that's why barack is the manchurian candidate

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:37 | 4484273 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

May have to postpone elections in USA until this situation blows over...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:26 | 4484022 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Destabilizing many of the world .govs is underway!

The ME is a wreck, Argentina and Venezuela are in turmoil and pressure is being exerted on Brazil.

Now the Ukraine is being tossed, who's next?

This summer may see the USSA and the EU start to get tossed as well.

Look what is happening in Turkey.

Can you say NWO and a push towards a one world .gov?


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:05 | 4484170 pods
pods's picture

This could very well be (created)problem-reaction-solution.

No doubt there are valid issues between people living in made up country borders. Clans run thick in most areas.  

A lot of this probably has to do with resources that cannot be conjured out of nothing.

No doubt the bankers will make out when all is said and done. They always do.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:39 | 4484280 john39
john39's picture

bankers are not calling the shots at the top.  this is war for (or against) the future of human kind.  bankers are tools, used to put whole populations under great pressure.  just one method use to break people's will to fight back.   there are clerics at the top this, so long hidden that modern man no longer believes that they even exist.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:24 | 4484478 pods
pods's picture

Here we go again. 

So if the "clerics" were to have their chief source of power removed, fractional reserve banking and the ability to conjure credit money out of thin air, would that not do the same thing as searching through various occult images to decipher the clues to actually find out who they are?

And if we were to find them and destroy them, is not fractional reserve banking a crime against humanity?

Could be a Luciferian cleric at the top, could be some unassuming Guatemalan lady.  Remove their source of power, they become powerless.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:43 | 4484581 john39
john39's picture

could be... but i suspect that you will not have much luck with the bankers until the real source of power is dealt with.  but i would not be in a position to know that.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 12:27 | 4484826 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Somewhere I read that we wrestle not against flesh and blood...

Does that mean we all go hole up in a monastery and pray until things change at the top or Armegeddon comes?

I think I'll continue to stay abreast of who is doing what to whom in the earthly realm while I continue to pray against this Luciferian Cleric that you refer to.



Thu, 02/27/2014 - 12:36 | 4484881 john39
john39's picture

can't argue with that logic, all bases covered.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 12:28 | 4484830 pods
pods's picture

The real source of power IS the bankers.  If money can buy power, and you can print money, you can print power.

What is the great satan chief gonna do, put a hex on me?  

Money talks and bullshit walks.  These people have power because they suck money off of everyone through fractional reserve banking.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 12:39 | 4484903 john39
john39's picture

dunno Pods.  I think that there is a lot more going here than meets the eye. there are different types of power, but we have been brainwashed to forget that, most of us anyway.  but no point in arguing about it.  not everyone needs to look down the rabbit hole, and doing so is not without its dangers.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 23:40 | 4487590 UrbanMiner
UrbanMiner's picture


The 'Bankers' are only Bankers because the profession of banking is the leverage point of modern society; The creation and control of money is a gratuitous illusion, enabled solely by the psychological mastery of the Grand Chief of the Black Lodge. Atop the world is indeed a group of 'Magicians' who have the knowledge with which to conjure entities from the subterranean depths of the Earth, entities which provide a road-map of control based in and upon their infernal powers of timeless cognition. These Sabbatean High Priests carry the ancient secret of Babylonian ritual, remnants of the wizardry which destroyed Atlantis, possessing meanwhile the keys to human psychological mastery such that we are as lemmings to their manipulations, both spiritually (astral influence) and physically (media control).

There is a hidden power so secret and powerful that non dare whisper against it....yet is has been hidden and forgotten by design, such that modern man is impotent against it.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 23:41 | 4487591 UrbanMiner
UrbanMiner's picture


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:25 | 4484023 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

World War III started 12.5 years ago with a "Pearl Harbor" moment.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:28 | 4484037 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

you also could argue it started with the first gulf war, or the russian invasion of afghanistan


i believe i read somewhere at one point the bible says it takes 27 years for the last war to kick off

could have been one of the prognosticators who said that though

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:41 | 4484077 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Don't ever discount the PTB and their drive to consolidate power into regions and small groups of like-minded individuals.

This is their plan for the USSA...


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:46 | 4484100 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Whatever happened with that nuke that detonated off of South Carolina last year?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:54 | 4484131 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Ever hear of Operation Starfish Prime?

If a nuke had detonated of the coast of SC, it would have had serious and lasting EMP effects which could not have been covered up.

Go do a little research on the above operation and let us know if a SC event would have been covered up.

Color me a skeptic at best...


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:16 | 4484201 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Thanks, DaddyO.

The wall to wall, hair ball conspiracy theory is getting a little tedious.

Did someone say pot makes you paranoid?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:51 | 4484617 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

Look at all the debated events over the last 50 years.  Disinformation theories and garbage are thrown out there to obscure and distract from people searching for the real truth.  Directed energy weapons, Justin Bieber, etc. 

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:41 | 4483928 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

Good read.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:52 | 4483955 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

If we apply obama admin immigration policy to this situation, the Russian Army should be welcomed in Ukraine and should be receiving their free cellphones any time now....immediately after getting their food stamp card.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:14 | 4484412 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

What the people of Ukraine are being put through is absolutely horrible.


And the people egging the protesters on are psychopathetic criminals.  There's a potntial bloodbath here that would dwarf what's happening in Syria, but the same criminals couldn't care less.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:19 | 4484436 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Daddyo - Ya when elephants dance, ants get trampled. Prayers for the people of Ukraine.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:43 | 4484088 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Or one lone non-bomber?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 13:09 | 4485028 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Actually, it might be worth our while to spend a few cycles on what the Grand Plan is for the US. 

The way I see it... at a fundamental strategic level, they want to put Russia "between a rock and a hard place":

1. Rock: If Russia can be manipulated to not respond militarily, the Boa Squeeze on them has tightened that much more and the NATO/US anti-ICBM missiles are that much closer to their strategic places.

2. Hard Place: If Russia does react militarily, it gives the US (the Fed!) the cover and pretext to create 'moar' debt fiat -- thus creating artificial demand for the troubled USTs, which were bought by 'Belgium' (Brussels!) most recently, when China either dumped** a bunch or did not roll them over when they expired.  As it is, even Brussels and London are now mere extensions of the Fed -- swapping paper and unmentionables among themselves.  W/o another Cold War, the US is starting to run out of countries that are willing and able to buy their debt confetti.  Which spells big trouble for the USD to retain its title of King Dollar.

Moral:  Currency Wars ---> new Cold War


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:49 | 4484305 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind

Oh, show me round your snow peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy's farm
Let me hear your balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm

I ain't going back to the USSA.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:16 | 4483876 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

That guy in the 4th picture looks like a badass motherfucker!

Damn! It's like he eats bricks for breakfast!

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:35 | 4483917 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

That's because he is a badass.

The beast from the east.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:42 | 4483930 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

He can always get a job as the next Bond villain if his political career isn't exciting enough. In fact He's already done some acting work

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:00 | 4483979 max2205
max2205's picture

If he's got gold teeth he is in like flint

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:24 | 4484020 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture
The guy was born to be a Bond villain. Get him the indian jewlers gold shirt, BA's chains, all gold teeth and a goldplated bond villain ever. If it doesn't work out, there is always boxing..Wladimir Klitschko vs. Nikolay Valuev

The winner takes Crimea. I'd watch it.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:34 | 4484053 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

putin vs. obama in a death match for who gets the influence in events of ukraine

think tyson v. spinks

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:15 | 4484195 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

No way it lasts 91 seconds.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:16 | 4484202 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

More like Ali vs. Jerry Quarry [in reverse race roles]...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:26 | 4484233 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I don't think Putin is puttin a Patton v. Rommel duel on the table.
Perhaps a "2 can play at that game" or "Mine is Bigger"

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:55 | 4483965 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

That guy makes John Kerry's head look normal.....

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:25 | 4484024 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

I think that in the interview he comes across as a pretty nice guy.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:19 | 4484217 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Ye, he seems like a nice long as you're not in a ring with him...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:22 | 4484469 MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

and one more link featuring nikolai valuyev - he IS truly a badass mf:


i tried that but my skull is a little small for my axe

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:22 | 4483889 agent default
agent default's picture

No it isn't.  The Russian reaction was predictable.  All the US and NATO will do is issue statements.  But mind you, they will be very very strong statements.  Barry might even use dirty words on TV. WOW.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:01 | 4484156 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, NATO and the west will "fart in their general direction", but that's it.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:47 | 4484301 RockyR
RockyR's picture

The US needs to stay the hell out of this. We don't have leadership competent enough to deal with something this complex right now. Give Obama a box of tinker toys and tell him to keep his mouth shut.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 13:31 | 4485245 Glasnost
Glasnost's picture

What is happening right now in Crimea is actually one of the best possible things that could happen.  Of course the 120 armed men are likely Russian soldiers or mercenaries, but it is no matter.  To the outside world, it appears as if they are not associated with Russia.  I think this is exactly what is wanted.  If Crimea does secede from Ukraine, Russia gets most of what is wants.  It's naval base in Sevastopol.  And if the the secession is made to look legitimate, by the Crimean parliament voting for secession (whether or not they are threatened by their lives as to a yes/no vote), NATO's hands are tied.  If NATO tried to take Crimea, after Crimean PARLIAMENT voted to secede, then NATO would reveal itself as the colony hungry monster it is.  And that can't happen.  Not currently at least.  People are still too awake (although hardly).  

As for the rest of Ukraine, I'm sure Russia wouldn't mind to have it, but Crimea is what is really important.  The rest of Ukraine can figure itself out.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:43 | 4483906 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Isn't a black swan an unexpected event?  Our leaders have been trying everything they can to start a global war the past few years so I don't think by definition this is a black swan event.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:44 | 4483938 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I think the American (English) equivalents are Teabaggers, Astroturf, or Terrorist (depending on context).

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:16 | 4484001 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

wasnt it the OWS crowd that took over the capital building in Madison, Wisconsin and did $7MM in damages?  You remember the fake Dr. note station, etc?


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:02 | 4484159 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Look at the shiny word in my left hand...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:17 | 4484004 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

Wasnt it the union longshoremen who took hostages and cut the brake lines of locomotives in their dispute?  seems more in line with the actions of the Russian Army than the Tea Party.....who, unlike Earth Day, didnt leave behind a massive mess for others to pick up.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:02 | 4484160 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Look at the the shiny word in my right hand...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:33 | 4484012 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

Wasn't it Obama's mentor (who hosted Obama's first political introduction in his livingroom) who terrorized Federal buildings here in the USA trying to "kill" cops and others who occupied these federal buildings?


seems more in line with the Russian Army's actions than the Tea Party....The Tea Party is trying to preserve democracy.  The OWS is comprised of members of the communist party - just like the ruskies - who are re assembling the USSR.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:36 | 4484058 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

like eric holders takeover of rotc building

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:02 | 4484161 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

A seraph at the Ministry of Truth just earned its wings.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:54 | 4483959 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Is that what we call Obozo these days?  A Black Swan?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:37 | 4484064 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

half black swan



fixed it for ya

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:53 | 4484319 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Milk Chocolate Swan. 

Crunchy and appealing on the outside, hollow on the inside.  Made in the USSA.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:57 | 4484095 silvermail
silvermail's picture

"in the Crimean region parliament at Simferopol, where around 120 pro-Russian Gunmen occupied the parliament building and raised the Russian flag."

No, it is not " Russian fighters militants ." This " folk activists ", just like in Kiev. In Kiev militants with weapons also seized government buildings. But why is Western propaganda called them, only as " activists"?
In Crimea, people committing such acts exactly, but Western propaganda for some reason calls them differently - as " militants " . LOL
The difference between the Crimea and Kiev is only one: In Kiev " activists " throwing Molotov cocktails and fired from sniper rifles to the police. And people in the Crimea just hung the flag. And I 'll tell you more: They burned the U.S. flag . It do not militants. It do ??the people of the Crimea, who hates the U.S. and wants to be with Russia.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:16 | 4483880 Independent
Independent's picture

To see why those Tatars will get thrown out of Crimea read about the fate of the captives halfway down

The Tatars are not indigenous to Crimea they are invaders.

I expect Crimea to go back to Russia and these pro western Tatars to get pushed out to the mainland.


Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:05 | 4483988 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

I agree.  The real test is if/when a similar thing happens in a city like Odessa.  Then, we will see how serious Kiev is about keeping Ukraine in one piece.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:49 | 4484112 Bunders
Bunders's picture

What percentage of the ukranian people would choose to join either the EU or a russian trade deal if remaining independant was a realistic option?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 11:24 | 4484482 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

Que increasing turmoil and further US/Saudi/Israeli involvement in Syria starting now....

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:17 | 4483851 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Pro-Russian Gunmen

Were they not called "Pro-Democracy Activists" when they seized buildings in Kiev?

The propaganda never ends.

Crimea river.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:18 | 4483884 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

"The propaganda never ends."


It usually helps 'the cause' when we (CIA BlackOps) are destabilizing a country...Also, propaganda works easiest and best on Americans. 

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 13:15 | 4485117 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"The Dark Lord strong in Kerry is." - Yoda

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:06 | 4483990 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Russian spy ship docked in Havana;_ylt...

I doubt Snowden is a passenger..

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:16 | 4484002 economisery
economisery's picture

Exactly the same thing has happened in Syria, where violent extremist jihadists that go around ruthlessly raping beating and beheading innocent citizens (especially Christians) have now suddenly earnt the label 'freedom fighters' and are being described by the media as 'your fuzzy friendly neighbourhood rebels'.

Until of course the CIA sees they are losing the battle and decides to abandon them and leave them to be slaughtered like animals by the Assad regime, following which the furious survivors some years later fly a couple of airliners into some buildings in the US as an act of revenge.

At that point the label quickly and conveniently gets switched back to 'evil jihadist terrorists' again. 

That's the Western propoganda machine in action. Truly sick stuff.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:41 | 4484079 Zwelgje
Zwelgje's picture

Talk about slaughter of jihadi's in Syria, check this ambush, start at 1:00:

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:25 | 4484021 Sedaeng
Sedaeng's picture

cri-me-a river... nicely done

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:30 | 4484027 Sedaeng
Sedaeng's picture

personally, I agree with 'mine is biggers' comment. Russia will roll through Ukraine and the western states will do nothing. overall strengthening Putin's Russia on the world stage.... again

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:05 | 4483852 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Wonder what the other hand is doing....

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:06 | 4483854 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Your move Obozo...

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:13 | 4483870 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



3, 2, 1.......and bow.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:01 | 4483982 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

i smell a Beer Summit...!

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:18 | 4484007 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Putin is playing multi-dimensional chess.


Obozo is playing hopscotch with Jeff Gannon.



Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:08 | 4483857 satoshi123
satoshi123's picture


Or we should say HILLARY/KERRY broke UKRAINE,

What did they fucking expect $5 billion USD spent by the CIA to engineer a COUP, so now you have your fucking CIVIL WAR, is the USA happy?

Does anybody here think OBAMA/HILLARY/KERRY will be held responsible, given that only a week ago here on ZH it was clear that the USA created the Crisis, and paid for the COUP.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:19 | 4483887 Independent
Independent's picture

LOL Five BILLION dollars in Nuland cookies....Bet you anything some of those 'cookies' ended up in Swiss Bank Accounts and Israeli Accounts for a few people.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:52 | 4484125 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Have to remember these are fiat cookies. They get $5 billion and then cut them up 10 times.......

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:09 | 4483860 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

If Nikolai Valuyev is any indication, Russia's been breeding half-orcs.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:45 | 4483886 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

Yeah.  Russia does not need to send any jet.  That one guy is scary enough!!!  Who would want to pick a fight with the man?  I am not even sure if that is really a man.  He looks like a Star Treck villain or something.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:48 | 4483948 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It's what the Predator looks like without his helmet.

Arnold: "You are one ugly mutha fucka"

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:26 | 4484031 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I think if you leave him alone long enough, he will pick a fight within himself.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 16:09 | 4486006 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

The Brussels' man, ex-boxer Vitali Klitschko may wish to try his muscle strength against Nikolai Valuyev.. should be an interesting fight.. lol

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:16 | 4484000 pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

Pair that guy up with this guy ( in his prime )..

And just give them bouncer duty at parliament front door.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:09 | 4483862 Skin666
Skin666's picture

Ukraine's Viktor Yanukovich said on Thursday he was still the legitimate president of his country and that people in its southeastern and southern regions would never accept the "lawlessness" brought by leaders chosen by a mob. Russian news agencies quoted a statement by Yanukovich as saying he had asked Moscow to guarantee his personal safety.


Translation = The "mob" has stolen his meal ticket


It's a crying shame



Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:11 | 4483865 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Dr. Strangelove. please pick up the courtesy phone.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:17 | 4483882 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Now might be a good time to unveil the doomsday device....cause it's not much good if you don't.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:11 | 4483866 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Let us not forget that Russia has an unannounced spy ship docked in Cuba and Iran is sending ships off the coast of the US for the first time.

Meandwhile the naked emperor is either playing golf or planning his next golf trip.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:35 | 4484054 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

And doing roof hits.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:15 | 4483867 satoshi123
satoshi123's picture

Don't take your eyes OFF the prize boys.

Israel wanted to sell their Saudi Oil concession through Syria, and that failed, then PLAN-B, take UKRAINE and take GAZPROM out.


What really surprises me is that ZH fails to address the fact that ISRAEL gave UKRAINE the worldwide monopoly on BITCOIN mining some two years ago.

Once Israel knew they HAD UKRAINE by the 'balls', they imploded Mt-Gox now BITCOIN was dead, they killed that bitch and quick. I pity all the people in UKRAINE that signed on to the 'west' enrichment program. Had AIPAC let UKRAINE keep bitcoin franchise they might have had something, but now they have NOTHING, and that my friends is how the real fucking world plays the game.

Trojan horse yes, get the USA fiat fast while it lasts and in 1-2 years PUTIN will be seen as a fucking Jesus by the UKRANIAN people.

Israel only wants to sell SAUDI fuel, once they get that, then ALL Ukranians are Palestinians, if you know what I mean. The USA of course has an attention span of minutes.

Again I pity the UKRANIANS they have been played like Aide's whores at an African HIV clinic ran by the CIA.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:48 | 4483937 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

& so how does the Jon Benet Ramsey murder fit into all of this?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:22 | 4484016 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Well, duh, it's another zionist crime the Americans won't prosecute because they're all into Honey Boo Boo now :).

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:47 | 4484302 forwardho
forwardho's picture

I thought honey was a nazi???

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:26 | 4484029 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Secret Jew.

She had to go.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:51 | 4483954 agent default
agent default's picture

"Take Gazprom out".  Good luck on that one. 

Meanwhile, if the US gets tangled with Ukraine, who knows.  Maybe China will find the opportunity to take Taiwan out, thoroughly screw Japan, and get North Korea to go full retard.  The possibilities are endless.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:27 | 4484033 PeakOil
PeakOil's picture

Don't feed the bot.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:51 | 4484119 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Satoshi either needs sleep or lithium.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:02 | 4484158 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I have no idea why you feel the need to tie Bitcoin into this.  Especially in such a nonsensical manner as their being some kind of Jewish Bitcoin mining monopoly in the Ukraine.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:45 | 4484298 forwardho
forwardho's picture

I beleive it was a parody.... Right?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:14 | 4483868 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Polish foreign minister Radoslaw Sikorski called the seizure of government buildings in the Crimea a "very dangerous game". "This is a drastic step, and I'm warning those who did this and those who allowed them to do this, because this is how regional conflicts begin," "

I'm writing here since a while that Poland is spearheading a lot of the EU's consensus towards a pro-EU solution to the Ukraine Affair

And I'm not blaming them, they consider part of the Ukrainian population as their national brethen, and many of our Eastern peers feel similarly

this is a political dynamic which many Anglo-Americans seem to be utterly oblivious to. as if nobody would ever even understand that the EU is a proto-confederation of peers. armed, sovereign peers

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:16 | 4483874 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

because this is how regional conflicts begin

I thought they began with an illegal putsch marketed as a freedom movement by the West:

Western-backed Ukrainian opposition seizes power in fascist-led putsch

By Chris Marsden 
24 February 2014


The intervention of the United States, Germany, France and other European powers in Ukraine led to a putsch by far-right forces on Saturday. The negotiated settlement that Foreign Ministers Frank-Walter Steinmeier of Germany, Laurent Fabius of France, and Radoslaw Sikorski of Poland imposed in Kiev, aiming to provide a semi-legal façade for the opposition’s power grab, did not survive for a single day.

On Friday, Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych agreed to form a national unity government within ten days that included opposition representatives and to reinstate the 2004 constitution passed after the US-backed Orange Revolution, depriving him of control over the heads of the security services. Presidential and parliamentary elections were to be held by December, during which time Yanukovych was to remain president, though only as a powerless figurehead.

 The agreement signed was worthless.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:17 | 4483881 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

because it worked so well for them in 1939?

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:28 | 4483903 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

perhaps you have watched endless History Channel movies about Poland in 1939-1945, yet Poles and Lithuanians themselves think more in terms of 1569-1795 when it comes to Ukraine. see the history of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, itself one of the many EU precursors

Si Deus nobiscum quis contra nos

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:37 | 4483915 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Yes the Hitlery Channel seems obsessed with those years in Poland but of course it's 95% about the tragic plight of you-know-who...

In any case I will defer to your knowledge Polish history - cheers

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:58 | 4483971 Zadig
Zadig's picture

I think German & Russian rapprochement and another partition of Poland is a possibility if they keep nipping at Russia for US/NATO.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:48 | 4484107 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The Poles as "honest brokers" in this situation...

Props to marketing in Brussels, but I am not buying.

If they were marketing the melodrama as "The Henchmen of Great Satan's Little Buddy Goes to Kiev" and replaced Jimmy Stuart with Sikorski it might be more believable, whereas casting Brzezinski would sell more tickets, particularly to the paranoid. However, it's all a HollyHoax on the Hudson Production, or is it the Senne, or is it the Spree? (having come full circle to Goebbels)

The right of all peoples to self-determination sounds strangely like a natural or inalienable right to me, but then then perhaps the ICCPR is also just a piece of paper? And more importantly, who gets the role of Darth Cheney?

Sikorski is correct that this situation is "very dangerous", but is he actually making it more, or less, dangerous? The casting of the EU as "neutral" is pure comedic genius from my box seat in the Alpine Peanut Gallery.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:33 | 4484258 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

it would be more believable if it weren't for that unfortunate plane crash back in the prequel.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:56 | 4483966 agent default
agent default's picture

Poland played a major role in the partitioning of Czechoslovakia in 1938 and grabbed part of the country.  Then they got shafted by both east and west and got to play victim.  Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of morons.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:12 | 4483869 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

    "Now it is becoming clear that the people in southeastern Ukraine and in Crimea do not accept the power vacuum and complete lawlessness in the country, when the heads of ministries are appointed by the mob."
Yes, we can't have peasants controlling their own lives, can we?
    "On the streets of many cities of our country there is an orgy of extremism," he said, adding that he and his closest aides had been threatened physically.
Yes, extremism: because being dominated by jackboots is so mainstream. Rejecting that is extremism.
    "I have to ask the Russian authorities to provide me with personal safety from the actions of extremists."
Straight from the horse's mouth: government is a protection racket.

Welcome to hell.

We all know "they" need war right now to cover for various currency collapses. If war comes from the center of the chessboard, then so be it.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:18 | 4483883 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

120 men with small arms only can defend that building for a month? Against what/who? Oh yeah, the ukraine army. lulz lulz lulz

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:43 | 4483934 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

This is just the beginning. It will get far worst soon. Russia won't let Crimea go.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 09:27 | 4484034 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Russia won't let the pipelines go.  If it wasn't for the pipelines the tension would be a whole lot lower.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 10:10 | 4484183 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

I am sure you are right, because I am equally sure Russia's only naval base on the Black Sea is of no consequence to them. Not all countries are like the USA, where all that matters is money. Some countries, like Russia, still possess attributes like pride and self respect. I apologize in advance to any US politicians reading this comment, but those terms - pride, self respect - ARE part of the English language. Just get one of your sex slaves, or aides as you call them, to look them up for you.

Thu, 02/27/2014 - 08:18 | 4483885 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

"Pro-Russian" == Spetznaz

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!