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Stocks Close At New Record High On Russian Invasion, GDP Decline And Pending Home Sales Miss

Tyler Durden's picture


With the Ukraine now openly appealing to the world to halt what in its own words is a Russian invasion, it only made sense that after the bigger than expected downward revision to Q4 GDP, and the miss in Pending Home Sales, that the S&P would close at a new all time high. Oh, there was that surge in the Chicago PMI which confirmed that the February weakness across all other data was not due to the weather, and which is all that the market decided to focus on.

And so once again, the fact that it was 3:30 pm at the end of the day - easily the most "fundamental" driver of stock valuation in the past five 5 years - overruled all bad news, or is it good news? The VIX was, as usual, slammed into the close in a mirror image of the last hour ramp"

It is confusing what the catalyst for stock surges any more is - is bad good news great, or is good news greater - aside from the Fed's relentless growing balance sheet of course.

We are at a loss what else to highlight here: maybe the fact that despite the sheer euphoric idiocy the Nasdaq did finally closer lower.

All one can do at this point is sit back and laugh at the complete abortion that Ben Bernanke's, and now Janet Yellen's centrally-planned "market" has become.


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Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:05 | 4490930 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

That looks like a headline right out of The Onion.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:15 | 4490991 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

'Cri-Mea Toooo the Mooooon!' What a joke the markets are...

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:19 | 4491013 flacon
flacon's picture

Chuck Schumer ejaculated all over the place at 3:30pm while looking at nude photos of Janet - oh, I mean Ben. 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:32 | 4491096 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

Walmart website is down too - never seen this before

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:36 | 4491123 adr
adr's picture

Whol-E-Fuck it is down. That's crazy.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:42 | 4491566 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:48 | 4491607 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Stocks Close At New Record High On Russian Invasion, GDP Decline And Pending Home Sales Miss

If only CNN could come up with such great headlines, throw the audience through a loop though. 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 19:07 | 4491710 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I can hardly wait until the Chinese dump a highly discounted .5T in dollar reserves all at once and announce that they have 7000 tons of gold.

The Dow should break 20,000 then.

It’s getting to be a lot like the Weimar shares market.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 19:40 | 4491877 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

20,000?  Pessimist!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 19:40 | 4491879 Cattender
Cattender's picture

These are the strangest days i've ever seen....... where will it end?

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:32 | 4491098 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Yahoo buddies

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:43 | 4491045 toady
toady's picture

It only makes sense, moral destruction, national destruction, hell, any destruction...

It's all creative destruction!

Bullish bitches!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:18 | 4491009 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Why is anyone surprised? After all, it's an old Wall Street saying: "when Russian troops cross borders, BUY STAWKS!"

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:20 | 4491034 flacon
flacon's picture

"Uncertainty" elicits "CONfidence" - apparently. 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:25 | 4491055 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

wait till monday when the con game continues....all that nasty war angst will be forgotten and on to recorder highs!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:20 | 4491028 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

War is good for bidnez bitchez.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:30 | 4491511 mt paul
mt paul's picture

read the head line

and started to laugh 


what is a mouse

when it spins....

the higher the few.. 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:46 | 4491590 ForWhomTheTollBuilds
ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

Sometimes when I look at that 3:00 pm ramp, I wonder to myself if there might be some negative blowback coming in the future.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:08 | 4490934 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

that was exciting...up, then down, then up.  And completely lacking any significance.

At this pace, I really worry we'll run out of sellers.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:09 | 4490954 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:11 | 4490968 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture



I don't think the real fun starts until futures are closed.


Like Locking everyone in the room before you start the fire.



Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:12 | 4490970 prains
prains's picture

signifying nothing....but a fart in our general direction

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:36 | 4491534 mt paul
mt paul's picture

say what


was just thinking the same

out out brief candle ...

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:12 | 4490975 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

And to think we were oh so close to getting the deer. Damn! Would have made my weekend.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:07 | 4490940 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Jesus. What a fuckin joke.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:08 | 4490947 digitlman
digitlman's picture


Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:31 | 4491514 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

Pig Circus

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:37 | 4491542 mt paul
mt paul's picture

cow tower...

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:08 | 4490949 Martial
Martial's picture

Wait until you see next Friday's headline: Nukes Fly As WW3 Starts, S&P Doubles

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:27 | 4491066 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

WW3 will never start.  The installation of Obama was a gift to Russia.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:29 | 4491082 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

When you go to sleep at night, are you worried that Barack may be under your bed, ready to come out and tickle you until you piss yourself?

I mean, I hated Bush and am not a huge fan of Obama, but you people take things to another level with the colored man.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:25 | 4491484 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture


You people!? What do you mean, you people?

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:39 | 4491548 mt paul
mt paul's picture

we the people....

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 07:00 | 4492906 bentaxle
bentaxle's picture

You people, you don't know what you're doing, so it needs some rich guy, (preferably rich banker guy) to do the decent thing and sort it all out for ya! (With an army.)



Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:24 | 4491479 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

You forgot the last bit Ron:

Nukes Fly As WW3 Starts, S&P Doubles, Gold crashes to $5 p/oz

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:46 | 4491591 gtb
gtb's picture

Why not, isn't that what it costs to dig it out of the ground?

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 09:07 | 4492999 Agstacker
Agstacker's picture

LOL read this guy in comments, he calls gold a 'worthless metal'.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:09 | 4490956 SteveNYC
SteveNYC's picture

Why the surprise?

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:09 | 4490960 funthea
funthea's picture

And most people are still oblivious to what is going on...

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:10 | 4490961 magne13
magne13's picture

Thank God, thought my 1850 Puts were going to never get hedged...Who ever is the ONLY real player in the eminis, thank you, I am now net long and waiting to sell MOC


Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:10 | 4490962 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture


Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:10 | 4490965 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

BS close but internally biotech bubble seems to be letting some air out and social turning over a bit as well. If they go, the momo goes and the mkt dumps. But that's a BIG if.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:14 | 4490977 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

Noticed that too.  Looks like we're beginning to roll over here.


(edit) what am I saying, the algos would never let this roll over.


Unless er.....  it's planned. 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:29 | 4491081 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

I wish I had access to Schumer's nephew account.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:13 | 4490980 prains
prains's picture

don't forget the polar vortex wangwang

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:28 | 4491078 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

shock!?!   Gold and S&P 500 1:1 inverse relationship today???  Funny how that works.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:42 | 4491564 mt paul
mt paul's picture

36 above zero  today, hard sunshine

up in here in polar vortex land


north of the alaskan range 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:11 | 4490973 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Stocks Close At New Record High On Russian Invasion, GDP Decline And Pending Home Sales Miss

Seems legit.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:12 | 4490979 jubber
jubber's picture

well I guess even if the Chinese PMI is the worst on record we will be at new ATH Monday at close

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:18 | 4490981 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

I tried to tell you to buy the dip!  Its ok though, you still have a little time in the post market before they ramp it to all time highs again.  If you wait till next week you will be back to buying the all time highs as we trade straight past 1900.


I don't know whats so hard to understand about the new paradigm keeping us at a permanant high plateu making this time different.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:13 | 4490983 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

BTFRI!!! Buy the f'n Russia invasin!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:22 | 4491043 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I think the bigger story is the Chinese Premier showing up in Germany asking for updates on "Plan Ost."

The United States has been building up forces to deal with a "two front war" since Leon Panetta was Sec Def...and I think the probability that you get an action in both Ukraine and North Korea simultaneously is quite high.

There is no money on the table vis a vis Europe (meaning a cash pile sitting in the middle of the Poker Table)...but that's not true relative to East Asia...where there is literally trillions in both real and trade weighted dolares both sitting there "and in constant flow."

So far the "worries" seem both founded and...perhaps quite soon (a week?) "grounded" (as in ground troops) as well.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:44 | 4491190 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

If China were to make a move, my money would be on the Senkaku islands or Taiwan.  The last thing China wants is instability in Korea.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:14 | 4490988 ms8172
ms8172's picture

I'm telling you...THIS MARKET IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:25 | 4491058 Redneck Hippy
Redneck Hippy's picture

Yes, the market is unbelievable.  All markets are unbelievable.  2008 was unbelievable to most folks, 1987 came out of nowhere.  So was the dot com bubble, both up and down.  The market functions to hurt most of the people all of the time, including the people that think they are so smart because they are short, and the starry-eyed folks who believe, like the ancient alchemists, in shiny metals.

Good fucking luck.  You expect the market to make sense?  When has it ever?

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:16 | 4491001 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Once...just ONCE I'd like to see ZH NOT comment on a dump and see what does or does not happen.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:22 | 4491044 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

it's a Bizarro World

somebody at GS watches when Tyler notes a big market drop and then buys the shit outta the market to make him look bad




Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:26 | 4491064 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

If you think about it, all the Fed has to do is follow Tyler on Twitter.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:17 | 4491003 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

I picture the S&P 500 as a giant balloon floating 2-3 feet over miles of Cactus.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:18 | 4491008 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Tyler just cannot post crash and rally articles fast enough to keep up with this market 


Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:18 | 4491015 seek
seek's picture

Man, I just live for days with headline snark at this level. 10/10!

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:19 | 4491016 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

"With the Ukraine now openly appealing to the world".


Yes, Im sure.  "Please, broke-ass fascist nations....bring us into the shit-eating party."

Fuck off with that shit.  "Ukraine" isnt appealing to anybody.  A NGO plant isnt a legitimate representative.  

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:19 | 4491020 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

They probably just had to preset the algos before the weekend. With another winter storm barreling into NY on Monday, there is no reason to expose the finely tuned and oh so delicate button pushing fingers to frostbite.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:20 | 4491026 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

My favorite move of the day was the VIX smack down at the close. That makes all the sense in the world

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:28 | 4491075 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

again...these are HUGE cash flows in East Asia that are put at risk with "more than just saber rattling."

I think both China and Russia mean business here...i think long vix is exactly the wrong trade because the only nation actually dealing with risk twelve straight years now is the USA.

my understanding of the US response to the threat of Al Qaeda is that it was to "limited" and "paid for" (budgeted.)
Anyone else think a man should be wise to wonder about that right now?

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:33 | 4491107 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

No offense, but I have exactly 0 idea what your post meant. VIX is just an imperfect gauge of fear in the market based on hedging activities. To have a potential invasion of Ukraine by Russia push a fear indicator down is contrary to common sense. But they have been doing it for 5 years so its not a surprise

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:43 | 4491187 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

You have the wrong undertanding of the VIX but who could blame you because it's one of the most manipulated tools in the market.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:49 | 4491234 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

How exactly is that the wrong understanding of VIX? I used to work at the CBOE. It's the implied vol of options and an IMPERFECT gauge of fear in the market given options are priced wider when more volatility is expected. Please enlighten me on how that is incorrect

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:30 | 4491079 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

russia is about to free the shit out of ukraine the same way we did for iraq (only with less white phosphorus and depleted uranium)

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:29 | 4491087 wmbz
wmbz's picture

The curtains have been pulled all the way back now and the criminal cartel don't give a shit who watches. 100% disconnect from reality. This is the Big Show! 

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:34 | 4491117 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Well, it's the Big Show. It's a big bad show tonight.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:33 | 4491108 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

The game is getting old... soon.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 19:29 | 4491826 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 most have been saying that for years, only thing that got old was them, and they died

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 10:54 | 4493179 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

The Fed cant hold the ramifications of a geo political event.

Imagine a ball being rolled up a steep hill...and as it is forced up hill, the ball itself

begins to crumble and disintegrate.  The pusher has nothing to push...this is how the

Fed will end

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:34 | 4491112 joego1
joego1's picture

Yellen knows how to use the green knob now! 

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4493290 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

They must have tied Yellen's print button in with the on switch for her Doc Johnson Autolube Jack Rabbit 12/with butterfly tickler

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:37 | 4491129 backasswards
backasswards's picture



It only made sense.


The world on Kool-Aid.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:37 | 4491130 assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

when the Apocalypse comes, heck, S&P 2500

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:37 | 4491131 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Gold market manipulated and confirmed. This Stock market has been MANHANDLED by the Fed since the housing crisis meltdown unfolded. I don't see how this activity stops because the fradusters and this government have shown the willingness to corrupt everything for their own agendas.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:37 | 4491132 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

Good to know that when shit hits the fan AMZN is a flight to safety stock lol

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:42 | 4491173 constantine
constantine's picture

I wonder how much money the PPT has spent (printed/leveraged) since 2009 in order to keep this market perpetually levitated.  Seems like they were doing it on major declines that threatened to crash back down to 2009 levels through 2011 and then, around 2012, they just decided, "fuck it this is awesome" and now they pump it up a couple of times a day.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:00 | 4491318 seek
seek's picture

Everything printed since the fall of 2008 has been going to prop up a system that was already beyond collapse -- so all of it.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:49 | 4491224 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

you all missed the real reason for the tank


 obama signed in the $10 minimum wage


 scared them into thinking cheap help would be hard to come by


 then they realized,  no one wants to work , even at $10 , food stamps am better.


Fri, 02/28/2014 - 17:51 | 4491247 Duc888
Duc888's picture



Unleash the nukes!  Dow = 50K

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:56 | 4491658 GNandGL
GNandGL's picture

Month-end window dressing trumps all.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 19:48 | 4491904 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

Who would of thunk! To say the market is rigged is an understatement. After over 30 years of trading commodities I will flat out state without any reservations that lies and manipulation run rampant. If you think anyone is looking out for the small independent trader you are wrong.

An unholy alliance of the Federal Reserve, the government, and the too big to fail has left the rest of us in a precarious position. For the big boys, its insider information and computer trading, this includes computing patterns that exploit where stops are placed, this improves their ability to wash the weak out of their positions. More on this subject in the post below,

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 20:04 | 4491971 Hohum
Hohum's picture

All a rising stock market means is that hedge funds are borrowing more money (aided by QE, of course).

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 20:21 | 4492054 Kelley
Kelley's picture

3:30 must be the time when the Fed check clears.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 21:00 | 4492087 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Pfft, nothn'.     Mag 9 earthquake in NYC, DJIA to 40,000.     Asteriod strike, DJIA to 100,000.    Martian invasion to use humans as cattle, DJIA to 1,000,000

We are all Zimbabweians now.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 21:18 | 4492249 smart girl
smart girl's picture

Some of you should be ashamed of your language and references. We are all doing the best we can.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 23:32 | 4492537 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

I completely motherfucking agree. Janet Smelling Like a Felon Yellen is doing her damndest to think up money at lunatic speed. Plus, the asinine douchebag msm IS DOING THE BEST THEY CAN AT LYING THEIR ASSES OFF.

PLUS...the fucked up CONgress spends like Paris Hilton, looped up from fizzy drinks and X, locked in a Dolce & Gabbana store with an open to buy the size of the GDP of Brazil.

........and that rascist bastard Obama using the SS IRS to bleed people dry - while letting those fucking corporations go scot-free tax wise (see Obama's steam room top, Jeffery "The US Job Terminator" Immelt of GE).

I're doing the very best you fucking can.

I applaud your God Damned efforts

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 21:46 | 4492319 Seal
Seal's picture

USD 79.78 -0.49

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 22:06 | 4492377 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

That headline was just too fucking funny! +100, Zero Hedge! Great stuff.

Fri, 02/28/2014 - 22:08 | 4492382 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

GDP? What's that?

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 06:59 | 4492904 jubber
jubber's picture

I would be interested in how such a late ramp is produced, as the speed of it seems to imply the buying of huge amounts of Indexes rather than individual stocks???

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 10:52 | 4493169 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

Proof that the money is run by computer models...

No "person" would gauge the geo political situation and go home long over the weekend.
Computers tread where humans will not...but they will all get the same sell signal at
the same time.
How bullish is nuclear war? Limit up.. i'm guessing.....

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 10:55 | 4493182 elwind45
elwind45's picture

I have seen when the Fed panic buys and when it panic sells(AIG on everybodies head) and neither are pretty. However when they go all in its ALL IN! several investment advisors who got out to get back in and window dressing or its all a bad news even the sprinkles on top? Only fight the fed when your at full employment and millions are in the streets looking for direction?

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 11:23 | 4493273 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

One little problem. There's no market.

Sat, 03/01/2014 - 13:10 | 4493672 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

The post gets my all time award for snarkiest headline. Well written lads.

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