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The Oscar Winners (If Twitter Had Its Way)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

With all eyes dismally fixed on Eastern Europe and the esclating tensions between the world's most powerful nations, we thought perhaps a little levity was appropriate. "Way To Blue" trawls the social media stratosphere of intellect and calculates a "desire to win" index that summarizes who we, the lowly members of the public, would most like to win the celebrated Academy Awards. It appears, in an odd coincidence to real-life, the debt-serfs of the world would most like to see "12 Years A Slave" win for Best Film.

 

 

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Sun, 03/02/2014 - 19:53 | 4499024 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Art contests are stupid.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 19:58 | 4499033 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

More like a "Slave from Cradle to Grave" than 12 years...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:31 | 4499142 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

feeling a bit of pride in myself right now

i havent heard of half the people or movies mentioned here, AND i think ellen degenerate is a useless hack and in no way entertaining

 

edit: and i had no idea the oscars were even on tv tonite

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:44 | 4499204 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Winner:  Most outstanding performance: A tie for Amy Adams' tits, which were hanging out and standing firm in every scene of American Hustle.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:24 | 4499382 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

The last movie I saw in a theater was Flight. Denzel was alright.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:27 | 4499397 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

best ten mins I've seen in a flick in a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nhxm5QEbYI

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:41 | 4499711 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Interesting to see Kim Novak as a presenter.   Fun fact about Kim Novak: She (?) is a hermaphodite with both male and female  sex organs.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:41 | 4499961 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

That's it!? How does it end? What does The 0'Bamabot have to say?

I would expect that the Individual vs. The State undercurrent of Dallas Buyer's Club would hit home with most ZH'ers.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:51 | 4500025 ScottyB
ScottyB's picture

Best example of cultural marxism I've seen in a while. White male subordinate panics and and turns into a know-nothing sniveling bitch. Has to be saved by the calm, always in control black man. Only Hollywood could come up with that shit. Haven't seen a movie in a theater in 10 years and stopped watching all the Hollywood/TV mind control horseshit. Life is good.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 01:12 | 4500304 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

So the "source" is "Way to Blue"? Don't they mean "Way Too Blue"? This Hollywood liberal lovefest has nothing to do with talent and everything to do with political correctness. The only reason Ellen Degeneres is on anything is because she suffers from penis-aversion issues. She's certainly not funny, and she's definitely not particularly talented. I find that if she's in anything or on any show, I'm not going to be watching it, and I feel richer for having made that choice.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 01:31 | 4500345 Welder
Welder's picture

I hate to use this cliche, but  I can't up-vote you enough, sir. I was about to leave the same comment.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 06:23 | 4500681 The.Harmless.Who
The.Harmless.Who's picture

 

We are inverted. I repeat, we are inverted.

 

 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 07:24 | 4500730 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

There are a few details you guys are missing but that's okay.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:18 | 4499343 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

WTF???  I have more interest in a steaming pile of dog shit on the Venice Pier than these hollywood assholes. I honestly have no idea who these people are and have zero interest in finding out.  I know I am a 1%er when it comes to these hollywood liberal Obama pricks, 99% know who they are, I do not.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:23 | 4499876 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

All contests which are decided by a vote are idiotic. Nothing more that beauty contests.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 01:37 | 4500319 astitchintime
astitchintime's picture

So, silly newbie here and couldn't find a better place to put this ... go figure LOL

I'm an audiophile and the only reason I watch the academy awards is for the music.

I thought U2 and Bono 'brought it'  nice.nice.NICE!!

but OMG, to get to hear Bette Midler deliver the soundtract for those in the industry that passed?

P_R_I_C_E_L_E_S_S

Are you kidding me??  Bette is STILL a diva and proved it tonite with her cover of Wind Beneath My Wings

*_*

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 02:31 | 4500445 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

99% liked Ellen? the lesbian Satan worshiper? Oh, ok.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 19:55 | 4499032 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Cutting edge, ZH, cutting edge.

His name was Tyler Durden.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:00 | 4499048 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I'm the first ones to throw stones, but Tyler made it clear this was in the name of levity. I have seen none of these movies. I took my kid to see the lego movie this weekend. It was funny to see Hollywood spend 2 hours calling their target audience stupid brainless sheep and the audience laughing at it, not realizing the joke was on them.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:02 | 4499058 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I wish I had seen the Lego movie last night instead of "Monument Men" which put me to sleep. The kids saw the Lego movie and loved it.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:03 | 4499060 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

It's over.  When I joined there was a math requirement.

His name was Tyler Durden.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:09 | 4499085 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I hear you, but the math requirement was for the commenters, not the Tylers. Today if we had a test it would be with blocks and 50% of us would still fail.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:09 | 4499080 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Many years ago I took my kid to go see the pokemon movie.I experienced a time dilation equivalent to traveling at 99.7 percent the speed of light!!!

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:30 | 4499146 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

You should be thankful - I ended up having a siezure!

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:48 | 4499219 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I had my seizure during reruns of Thomas the Tank Engine.I was at home with a sick kid and he played the same episode (vhs tape) all day long...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:14 | 4499106 blindman
blindman's picture

Grateful Dead - Comes A Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOloP9A7CD8
.
Neil Young ~ Comes a Time ~ 1989 ~ Great Sound! Acoustic ~ Jones Beach NY 80's ~ Ansel Adams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_tDE71y5WU

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:48 | 4499212 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

Agreed. The decay is faster than I feared.

I will let you know if I want anyone to win. No need to predict my supposed interest.

Is there nothing better to spend one's time on than to engineer our demise and to record it in HD? Nothing?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 19:57 | 4499039 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Oh goody, a 0.01% thread ;-)

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 19:59 | 4499045 no more banksters
no more banksters's picture

FIGHTCLUB

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:03 | 4499059 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

"With all eyes dismally fixed on Eastern Europe and the esclating tensions between the world's most powerful nations, "

So that would be between Russia and who exactly ?

 

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:08 | 4499075 WOAR
WOAR's picture

Touche.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:08 | 4499079 hound dog vigilante
hound dog vigilante's picture

American Hustle was utterly forgettable... below average movie - should have zero nominations.  That AH is even discussed says alot about the irrelevance of Oscars/Academy/Hollywood.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:08 | 4499082 grunk
grunk's picture

I wanted the film that got the Libyans all riled up to win.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:11 | 4500118 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

...and they didn't like that video, why were they not rioting after Ann Barnhardt's Youtube, bacon book marked conflagration?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:11 | 4499093 automaton
automaton's picture

When will they make a film about the enslavement of Europeans by the Berbers?  Or the enslavement of English undesirables and street children in the early North American colonies.  Or the enslavement of the Irish in North America and the Caribbean?  Or the enslavement of Malians by Malians?  Horse shit movies like 12 Years will continue to propagate the illusion amongst black Americans that they have been the only ones to be enslaved (by whites).  ... Not that we aren't all enslaved nowadays anywayssss.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:19 | 4499354 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Actually they were enslaved by other blacks and a few Arabs, in part because those Africans thought that the Africans they were enslaving had traits desirable in slaves which would in turn fetch a better price at market, before they were shipped of to the new world, where their children were born into bondage and kept in slavery, but not enslaved.

Yes there were dregs thrown in, because there was also a volume dimension to the business, in addition to the tribal/clan/personal rivalries that provided additional opportunities, but this was foremost a business, and these tribes had been trading goods, and battling among themselves for dominance, for centuries if not millennia. It's actually quite fucking racist to disrespect the sophistication of what these black Africans were doing centuries ago.

In retrospect- the Africans' judgement in regards to African-Americans being amenable to slavery has been demonstrated correct. But that doesn't explain white, yellow, red, and brown Americans' proclivity towards enslavement by the Statists, at least the black Americans have an excuse.

But, what does it matter know? Most Americans are slaves enjoying their Hollyweird fantasies and propaganda about what happened yesterday and how the world works today...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:31 | 4499413 automaton
automaton's picture

The fact that blacks were enslaved by blacks is not lost on me.  It is lost on the majority of society, however.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:11 | 4499096 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Sorry, Best Shitiest-Actor in a leading propaganda role goes to Anderson Cooper. In a supporting propaganda role, the Best Shitiest-Actor would be Piers Morgan. They both get my "Blue-Screen" award, which is shaped like a piece of shit. Also nominated, Robie Parker, Gene Rosen, and the Carlos Arredondo and Jeff Bauman duo.

Good b. job guys.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:12 | 4499098 GeoffreyT
GeoffreyT's picture

Anyone else noticed how Steve McQueen looks WAY different to how he looked in The Great Escape?

 

Could.not.resist.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:14 | 4499105 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

He's put on some weight, no doubt.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:45 | 4499209 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Dead has been hard on him.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 03:24 | 4500546 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

That too, I should have mentioned it.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 04:29 | 4500602 Bear
Bear's picture

Reincarnation ... He wins the Oscar second time around 

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:13 | 4499102 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

American Hustle was watchable. Bale is a decent actor. 

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:46 | 4499486 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

The real Abscam was more watchable

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:17 | 4499113 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

It would be PC racist for a non negro story to win...  Viva Obongo!!  America:  5 years a slave... and counting...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:01 | 4499777 Noob1011
Noob1011's picture

A non negro story did win "Broke Back Mountain"
Best supporting actor Barry Ovomit.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:21 | 4499120 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Yay! Useless fuckers getting on in life.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:40 | 4499161 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

And the Acadamy award for best actor goes to Mr. Obama for his performance in "Victory is only a phonecall away."  directed by V. Putin.

 

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:35 | 4499166 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

self congratulatory crap

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:45 | 4499207 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

What a waste of a year in film. A gigantic nothing burger.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 20:57 | 4499260 blindman
blindman's picture

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." -Oscar Wilde.
.
joy camp
Oscars 2014 LIVE (SPOILER ALERT LEAKED CLIP!!!) 86th Academy Awards
18,770 views 1 week ago
http://www.youtube.com/user/thejoycamp
.
and in other news ...
Anchorwoman Sausage Blooper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qaGuKhBrvg

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:28 | 4499399 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I still want to know who Jonah hill blew to get nominated...  That fat fuck for the love of god wins tonight, I will never watch another movie, except porn, for the rest of my life.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:40 | 4499457 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

What are the Oscars?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 21:43 | 4499473 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

Surgical scars from obamacare

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:33 | 4500196 ReligiousAtheist1
ReligiousAtheist1's picture

Excellent comment

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:12 | 4499575 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Waiting for the live terrorist takeover of the Oscars.  Now that would be some real TV.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:23 | 4499641 The Count
The Count's picture

 

The "Oscars" is nothing "official". It's the industry promoting itself and touting it's own horn. Produced by industry moguls. And millions fall for this BS every year. That's why I have given up hope that sanity will ever prevail on this planet.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:31 | 4499674 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Fuck the Oscars

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:45 | 4499725 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

One of the last movies that I watched on the 'big screen' was a cartoon tome called 'Heavy Metal'. I sat in the second row, center, and I and my friends caught the midnight showing after consuming mass quantities of substances which are still frowned upon.

I've actually heard of a couple of people listed here, including that dyke 'Ellen'. Do you mean to tell me that the sheople STILL go to see Bollywood movies?

BLUE is the new 'green' and RED is the new 'blue, and GREEN is the only color that actually matters to the GREY ones. One thing leads to another, I suppose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHYIGy1dyd8

Well, this band had another song as well, called 'Stand Or Fall'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQfOkOD4GT0

SO, Elllen Degenerate is hosting a freak-show congratulatory feast of rich Bollywood freaks who are deemed to be 'most popular' by some strange false dichotometric known as 'BLUE'. OH, TYLERS, this is far LESS than I expected, but is still interesting to see. The great unwashed masses are STILL easily manipulated...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:07 | 4499804 idontcare
idontcare's picture

Bad Grandpa got robbed.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 01:29 | 4500340 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Are we there yet Spock?  What'd I miss?

Sorry, I was making my own Holowood moments in the Holodeck studios.  ;-)

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 02:37 | 4500459 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

We've all heard about phony twitter accounts and the ballot stuffing they do. Come on now...

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