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Russia Denies It Has Given Ukraine An Ultimatum, Calls It "Utter Nonsense"

Tyler Durden's picture


Just released from Vedomosti, google translated for most linguistic impact:

Russian Defense Ministry denies reports appeared that the Ukrainian military in Crimea delivered an ultimatum .


Today the agency " Interfax-Ukraine" reported, citing a source in the Defense Ministry of Ukraine , that the commander of the Black Sea Fleet of Russia Alexander Vitko an ultimatum Ukrainian soldiers in the Crimea . According to the source agency , if, prior to 5:00 am Tuesday Ukrainian soldiers " do not give up , start a real assault units and parts of the Ukrainian Armed Forces around the Crimea."


The official representative of the Russian Defense Ministry called Message agency " utter nonsense " and said that any ultimatums Ukrainian military in the Crimea was not put.


Head of Naval Forces of Ukraine in Sevastopol Crimean authorities busy loyal soldiers about half ( in its territory is located a few buildings ), another half remains under control VMSU says Ukrainian officer , with no clusters of armed men and now there is no activity , but about the ultimatum he heard nothing.

And the more formal narrative from Reuters, which broke the original story, now being denied:

Russia's Black Sea Fleet has not issued an ultimatum to Ukrainian forces in Crimea to surrender by 5 a.m. on Tuesday or face an assault, Interfax news agency quoted an official at the fleet's headquarters as saying.


Russia's Black Sea Fleet has a base in Crimea and Moscow has effectively established control over the peninsula, which is part of Ukraine.


Interfax quoted an unnamed source in the Ukrainian Defence Ministry earlier on Monday as saying a deadline to surrender at 0300 GMT had been set by the Black Sea Fleet's commander.


The same news agency later quoted an unnamed representative at the fleet's headquarters as saying no assault was planned, adding: "This is complete nonsense."

Hmmmm, whom to believe...


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Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:07 | 4502054 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Crisis over.

Buy SPOOS patriots. Don't let the terrorists win.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:10 | 4502083 john39
john39's picture

arm and explosives seized on Crimean border.  another victoria nuland fail:

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:14 | 4502098 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

The West are the ones who keep trying to escalate, so their media organs can blame it on Putin.


Of course, now we are also seeing the value, to certain parties, of RT, aren't we?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4502129 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

HaHa.  West caught in a lie - AGAIN.  lmfao.  Obama you Lying POS.


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:35 | 4502215 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

What do you expect with all this charade going on when the Zionist controlled MSM is reporting these headlines.

Havent you noticed on CNBC the whole day? They have been showing the same fuckin video footages of whats going on in Ukraine (Russian soldiers waiting for an order) for the entire morning...the same fuckin footage! except we got MCC narrating it differently everytime.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 15:03 | 4502704 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I saw that the Russians spend $85 billion in defense spending.   They could dust any US fighter with their jets or AA missiles plus probably take out any ship.   This is not anti American rhetoric just that the defense contractors and the Pentagon are incredibly corrupt turning overpriced defective garbage out.

After 50 years the M16/M4 is still defective.  The F-35 is junk.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 15:29 | 4502840 walküre
walküre's picture

Russian military is expensive and Russia doesn't have reserve currency. Doesn't take rocket science to figure out what this means.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:42 | 4502259 RSloane
RSloane's picture

What a debacle this made of the previous ZH article about Putin's "ultimatum" in which more blood, sweat, and tears were shed than in the Ukraine itself.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4502290 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture


False Flag.  Expect more of the same.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4502347 semperfidelis
semperfidelis's picture

Russia will fold on Ukraine. I've been downvoted for a week now. Nothing can function outside the Budapest memorandum. It's fundamental for the post soviet era. Putin is politically dead after Ukraine. He will be disposed swiftly by the Russian oligarchs.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:10 | 4502382 Balanced Integer
Balanced Integer's picture

I think that you are badly informed on who exactly has the whip hand in Russia. Putin is fully in control of the army, the GRU and the FSB security services. Oligarchs who step out of line get their assets seized and find themselves apprehended on trumped-up corruption charges. Those who excape overseas could find themselves in line for a vodka and tonic, with a polonium garnish.

Russia isn't going to fold on Ukraine. The West will after a time, outside of some meaningless diplomatic sanctions. Putin knows that the western leaders are spineless, inept, and in the case of Europe, totally lacking in military strength. The Budapest treaty is just a piece of paper unless the US, UK, and France will actually enforce it militarily.

You have been rightly downvoted for your lack of vision on this situation.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:17 | 4502419 semperfidelis
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Save my comment and give it 6 months. I will save yours.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502121 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

what's real utter nonsense is my ex'es bra size.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:37 | 4502233 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Is the conflict going towards Kiev or towards Crimea?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4502291 EuropeanBankster
EuropeanBankster's picture

The conflict is moving towards Kharkiv, Dnipro and Donetsk, where the russian population in more like 50 %. Pro-russians have siezed buildings and raised the Russian Flag.. This is where the powder keg is most likely to blow up.. NOT Crimea, where the ukrainian minority does not dare to do anything.. after the first violent confrontation in these cities, Russia will probably enter into Ukraine territory in order to protect their citizens.. thats then we´ve got a seriuus situation.. cause who will protect the ukrainian polulation? The non existing Ukraine army?... NATO?...

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4502333 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

I hear these names and I weep:

Battle of Kharkov may refer to:

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4502287 V in PA
V in PA's picture

udder nonsense!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:25 | 4502468 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

But....but....Christopher Miller said he heard someone say so

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:38 | 4502568 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

For some background on "Vicky", see...

I find it distasteful when one turns on one's ancestral home, as Nuland/Nudelman has, and shows no regard for anything but ambition and power.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 15:25 | 4502823 jaxville
jaxville's picture

What on earth do you expect from her? Her loyalties have nothing to do with America, decency or any civilized notion of human behavior. By now most here should have figured it out about her and her brethren and where those loyalties lie.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:11 | 4502088 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

When Putin draws red lines, he means them. This leads to me believe the whole time schedule thing was a sham.

Now if obama said it and didnt act, i would believe it

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:13 | 4502109 knukles
knukles's picture

No soup or toliet paper for you guys!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:19 | 4502137 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

This shit is about to get real.

O looks and acts impotent. Russia rebuffs the US/KSA/Eu in Syria. O warns Russia angainst invading Ukrane and in less than 24 hours Puttin rolls in. 

Next watch China advance on Japan/Phillipines while O hands out more phones and food stamps.

The rest of the World is playing chess, and our leader isn't capable of playing tic tac toe.

O is dangerous. Not intentionally, but because he is so fucking clueless.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:34 | 4502221 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

he got a phone and a pen, he has more power then you think. bawhahahahaha

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:37 | 4502236 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

O is dangerous. Not intentionally, but because he is so fucking clueless.

Perhaps, but if McKillCrazy was in office the nukes would be flying by now.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:42 | 4502258 john39
john39's picture

not defending obamoa here...  but what exactly should the U.S. government do here?  I would say, get out of Ukraine and leave them, and a lot of other countries, alone.  Attacking Russia or Crimea would be even worse than obamao looking like a tool for saying stupid things then doing nothing.  What the U.S. really needs is political leaders not beholden to central bankers and foreign powers.  after that, problems would fix themselves.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4502351 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Anyone who does not understand the deterrent of apparent strength will never doubt our current leader. When you repeatedly demonstrate a lack of strength and resolve, you will eventually be forced to capitulate or respond with violence, likely from a weakened position. We should be limiting our involvement in foreign affairs while leaving no doubt of our resolve and commitment to OUR interests. Obama has only demonstrated resolve in defending HIS interests, and the rest of the world sees this.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:27 | 4502492 john39
john39's picture

"our" interest would be to join with Putin and rid Ukraine, and the rest of Europe, of banker scum.  not real complicated.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:52 | 4502652 walküre
walküre's picture

Are you sure you know that Putin is not acting under pressures from banker scum?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:16 | 4502391 walküre
walküre's picture

Agree with the sentiment, however it is not that easy and maybe never was. Look at the entire map of Eastern Europe. Many sovereign nations that were under the yoke of Russian hardliner communists not too long ago. Putin turns out is not a reformer and has himself eternalized as THE Russian leader, much like the Czars before him. Putin is lost in the former Soviet glory days and that is now becoming a threat to the region.

Putin is a dangerous man. O is just a dud and will do and sign whatever the hawks in the State Dept and at the Pentagon put in front of him. I don't believe for a second that it was ever any different. Potus is very limited in his reign and that is a good thing.

Putin displays the character of a man who thinks he needs to prove himself. Maybe it is a complex or a power trip. He's been in power for a very long time and its not unusual that a man's lust for power is clouding his judgement.

I'm troubled by the likes of Putin far more than an underachiever like Obama. At least Obama is more or less aware of his inabilities and doesn't try to be the big man in the bully pit. His administration uses other characters for that part who have far less powers.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:29 | 4502508 john39
john39's picture

Europe is under banker occupied government.   fighting to aid the central bank controlled system just to show that he (obamao) is a man?  sounds like a big lose to me.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:50 | 4502591 walküre
walküre's picture

The last President to try and fight the Fed was JFK. He died. Fed has upped he ante in 2008 when they came to the rescue of the financial crisis they created in the first place. Other CBs from BoJ, BoE and ECB followed suit when they realized the potential. Not sure entirely about the nuances of power in each of these countries/systems but I'm sure all CBs have gained power and control over politics since then.

Coordinated actions and time tables of all the CBs just confirm the collusion and further blur the lines of government and money.

Is the Fed in charge in Moscow and controls the Russian CB? Russia's finances aren't super solid which is why international lenders are avoiding the paper and Russian depositors are fleeing. Putin doesn't seem to be able to stem the tide of an eroding economy and eroding currency. It's been going on for a while now but you would never know judging from the lavish expensive games he put on. But even there, a look behind the surface would show mismanagement and decay.

Russia is in trouble financially. IMF was said to come to Russia again. They bailed Russia out not too long ago.

If Putin can't afford to pay the troops he HAS to go to war. That is all he ever knew and being the egomaniac he shows to be, this is likely what he will do.

Remember Georgia? Georgian "terrorists"? Now we have Ukrainian "Nazis"? Same propaganda.


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:50 | 4502640 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Speaking of things that would fix themselves, if you wanted to "get rid of bank(s)ter scum", you could:

> Break up the Banker Cartel, like Teddy Roosevelt did with Standard Oil.  Smash them into hundreds of little pieces, under anti-trust laws, etc.

> Tax the shit out of HFTs and the Derivatives Market, to force its wind-down

> Get back to Honest Money: 

a. No more fiat currencies.  All money to be backed by a basket of PM plus Energy.  That way, as the economy grows or contracts, its use of energy goes along with it and so does the money supply.  Balance of Trade to be settled by Honest Money or the Assets that are backing it.

b. Only governments issue Honest Money.  No more private cartels.

But the "problem" with this is that it would be "Against National Interests", since the <1% who own each nation would no longer benefit from the slavery of the other 99%.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4502289 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 O is dangerous. Not intentionally, but because he is so fucking clueless.

O is no more or less dangerous than any other puppet

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:03 | 4502357 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

The appearance of weakness or stupidity is always dangerous.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:07 | 4502059 The Phu
The Phu's picture

Putin doesn't issue ultimatums, he promises (and follows through).  Pay attention and learn, Mr. Obummer.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:26 | 4502173 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Obama only pays attention to balls, the ones on the golf course, basketball court, and....well you know.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:04 | 4502362 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

bwhahahaha. you guys would make great cannon fodder.

these Ukrainians have liberated their country...and you want the "Putin boot to their neck."

I gonna laugh my balls off when the USA and Europe really does do something and you all keep "crying in beer" about "this country sucks and all Americans should die."

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4502424 Balanced Integer
Balanced Integer's picture

I'm with you, vet. The Putin-worship on ZH is bewildering. Here we have supposed libertarians marveling at the power wielded by the Russian dictator. He tramples over borders, suppresses dissent, and the far too many hear stand up and cheer.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 15:39 | 4502888 jaxville
jaxville's picture

 A democratically elected government is overthrown by US interests and the man who stands up to those interests is painted as some sort of villain. America is led by a homosexual crack smoking sock puppet and you are too busy throwing egg at a real man with real integrity to notice. Look to those who really run your "once great, now shithole" of a country. A civil war is coming there and I suspect people like you to be on the wrong side in service of the "you know who". Forget about values like freedom, peace and decency. They are now unAmerican.

  Putin may not be perfect but at least he is a real man. That is something this world desperately needs more of.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 00:47 | 4505280 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not rootin for Putin.  It's just that Obama is so incredibly weak both in moral character as well as intellectual capacity.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:52 | 4502654 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Matzo Balls!?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:08 | 4502069 freedogger
freedogger's picture

This is all amusing until mistakes happen. System errors, human error, translation fails etc. Before you know it nukes are flying.  

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:13 | 4502105 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

There will never be a nuclear war, but mistakes are always encouraged

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:34 | 4502222 freedogger
freedogger's picture

Hope you are right. Reviewing the past near misses isn't encouraging. These are the ones that they have told us about:


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502122 petolo
petolo's picture

The first victim of war is Google translation 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:09 | 4502072 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I wish Boris was here. He could tell us the Truth.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:36 | 4502225 prains
prains's picture

the copper still needs to be carefully taken apart for the move, it's very time intensive plus he has to drink the left overs

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:46 | 4502278 frankthomaswhite59
frankthomaswhite59's picture

who downvotes a call for Boris?

zerohedge's man on the steppe

I wish he were here too.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4502421 walküre
walküre's picture

Boris took cover as soon as Russia escalated tensions. Go figure.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:21 | 4502435 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Boris was called up


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:09 | 4502075 cdude
cdude's picture

Where you see gun to head? In Russia- no gun to head, mean no ultimatum.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:10 | 4502080 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Hmmmm, whom to believe?...

Consider the source(s)???

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:16 | 4502119 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I go with: don't believe anything.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:37 | 4502232 prains
prains's picture

I'm going to believe an oligrach looking for controlling interest in a major resource and it's future supply to millions of people    /s

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4502142 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

The battle to control the narrative.



Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:12 | 4502092 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Lol there is a lot of big money wanting to go short.  This are the times that crazy rumors gain traction. 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:12 | 4502096 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

God, this is Vlad.  Could I please have my own global propoganda-spreading media like the Zionists have?  

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502124 layman_please
layman_please's picture

Another one?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:12 | 4502097 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Thats funny

Apparently the complimentary twitter/facebook proof was missing


With mother Russia cocked and locked, Its amature hr. in the west....

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:13 | 4502106 Drachma
Drachma's picture

In Russia, news make you.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:14 | 4502111 Racer
Racer's picture

Is Google using the new Obummercare translator?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:16 | 4502112 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I don't think Russia is in that big of a hurry to disarm the Crimea, which is not even fighting back.  They already own the joint.  The forces there will probably fight on the side of the Russians by choice.  Only Western bankers are so scared of anyone with a gun that they try to disarm everyone but their own personal thuggery.  Russia probably doesn't even tap the phones of Crimean teenagers, like Obama does.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502123 youngman
youngman's picture

When California votes to go back to Mexico..what will we do???

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:18 | 4502130 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Make sure Mexico doesn't weasel out of the deal.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:32 | 4502212 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Package deal, with Florida?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4502143 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

When California votes to go back to Mexico..what will we do???

I will applaud wildly.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:06 | 4502366 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

AS long as Mexico agrees to take their liabilities. Our luck it will be like all of the banks closures where WE got stuck with the liabilities.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:15 | 4502114 Caracalla
Caracalla's picture

All this nonsense from Ukraine has given us an awesome dip to buy and a nice chance to short WTI.  Make sure you BTFD boys...don't miss this opportunity!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4502141 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

You do realize crude has been 100+ for weeks, before Ukraine hit the radar screen?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:26 | 4502181 Caracalla
Caracalla's picture

With a slowing global economy (that no one has factored in to date) and with it pushing $105, I like the short side.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:08 | 4502373 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Come on! We have already gone over this! Its the fucking Weather! There is no slow down, it all an illusion brought on by the Polar Vortex which has discombobulated our mind.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:29 | 4502504 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Almost like people in the west knew something was in the works.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:21 | 4502148 Caracalla
Caracalla's picture

P.S.  You can get a great deal on Gazprom today...down 13%, probably won't be this low again for a long time  (OZGPY)

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:15 | 4502116 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

who am i gonna believe, putin or the zio-newz? decisions, decisions.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:35 | 4502226 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture has become a bit hysterical recently also. Funny to read but just to see how sides are being taken and see the contrast with other media. The office bugs in the RT DC office/studio are working overtime.

Lauren Lyster must be breathing a sigh of relief that she jumped to Yahoo News..

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:20 | 4502433 walküre
walküre's picture

RT will never bite the hand that feeds it.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:08 | 4502372 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Neither. That is a False Dilemma. NONE OF THE ABOVE. Believing any of them outright is a mistake. There are other choices. Find them.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:36 | 4502529 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Probably the best strategy is to believe the opposite of what Obama and the MSM report on any matter that involves banking interests.  We need more off camera slips, they typically reveal the true nature of this regime.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:51 | 4502650 Bag Of Meat
Bag Of Meat's picture

Can you tell me some of the choices?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:15 | 4502118 youngman
youngman's picture

They must have seen John Kerrys face and backed off...

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:53 | 4502305 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I heard that Kerry went long faces.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:16 | 4502120 nickels
nickels's picture

Mr. Putin: Recall what a bunch of pissed off Afghans did to get you out of their country.


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4502336 Kayman
Kayman's picture

"Mr. Putin: Recall what a bunch of pissed off Afghans did to get you out of their country"

So you are suggesting the CIA is going to arm the Ukrainians and convert them to Islam ?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:03 | 4502356 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Yep with the help of Charlie Wilson, the CIA, and billions of US taxpayer dollars.  Your point is?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:38 | 4502565 nickels
nickels's picture

You think that the Ukrainians don't have any shoulder- fired rockets? Why insert the US in this?? SAM on a camel! They don't need or want us!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:38 | 4502569 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Colonel Klink

If there is a fight, and I doubt it ( because it will quickly become a civil war) then hiding on the plains of the Ukraine might be a little tougher than the mountains of Afghanistan.

And explain to me again, what the return on invested taxes dollars and blood, is for all the years in Afghanistan and Iraq. Aside from creating a power vacuum in Iraq that Iran quickly filled.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:54 | 4502667 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I never suggested there was a return, other than the embarrassment of of the former Solviet Union.  Nor did I suggest it was a good idea.  You don't think Russia has been supporting the other side in our invasion of them either?  What's their payoff.  Our ultimate loss too, except we got the opium flowing again.  So I guess that's our payoff, or the CIA's I mean.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502126 optimator
optimator's picture

Vlad must day trade the equities.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:17 | 4502127 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I took the day off of work so I can read ZH and drink Jameson all day.  I think I'll go rub some Kruggerands on my nipples in a little bit, too.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:19 | 4502134 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

+1 for jameson reference

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:39 | 4502247 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

You should try the gold maples, they seem softer to me.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:46 | 4502277 BigJim
BigJim's picture

So THAT'S why people go for the .9999

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4502140 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Nippling the Krugs is sooo wrong !!!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:24 | 4502165 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

You're is cold.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:55 | 4502310 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Apparently gold isn't the only thing up today.  Long nipples!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:23 | 4502456 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Silver warms up very quickly.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:48 | 4502634 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

If his wife won't do it, who will? Paul's sex life is not our concern Hulk.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:25 | 4502172 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Once you hold 20 krugerrands, 10 in each hand, then you know the feeling (and weight) of real money. Try it sometime. It's aweeesome

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:19 | 4502131 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

So basically the Ukraine leaders  - currently in control - are just making shit up. Great. This is the kind of stuff that ignites huge world wars. 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:29 | 4502196 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

Isn't Mr. Ed in Kiev today? I'm am 100% sure that the US had nothing to do with these provications or mis-information. /sarc

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:52 | 4502297 frankthomaswhite59
frankthomaswhite59's picture

"a haircut in search of a brain"

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:21 | 4502150 I_KNOCKOUT_U
I_KNOCKOUT_U's picture


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:22 | 4502157 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Tylers, I thought at least one of you was fluent in Russian. Why the need for a google translation?

ps: serious question...not being sarcastic

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:37 | 4502231 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Boris is not on shift.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:26 | 4502180 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Bullish for the Micex and Ruble then..

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:28 | 4502192 Dorelei
Dorelei's picture

Good NewsEveryone !!

Lost  in translation cunny lapsus can happend  !

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:31 | 4502206 Debugas
Debugas's picture

i do not understand why it was so difficult to translate the simple sentence ?


Russians use double negation in the sentences so what is in english

None of ultimatums have been given

in original would go as

None of ultimatums have not been given


apparently google robot cant handle that aspect of the language well

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:29 | 4502505 walküre
walküre's picture

Meanwhile the Russians have probably started dismantling entire factories in Eastern Ukraine because they know how to do that quite well.

Putin is losing control. Maybe Pussy Riot was getting to close to him. He's acting like a desperate man clinging for power.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:34 | 4502220 praxis
praxis's picture

Oh yeah I'm sure Crimea loves the occupation. I'm sure they're thinking here comes Vlad and the Russian anti Zionist anti banster anti illuminati anti Nuland anti Obama crusaders to protect us. Yes they're welcoming the Russians that's what RT says so it must be true

They are Russian speaking ethnic Ukranians. Just because they speak Russian doesn't mean they want Anschluss with Russia. It's kinda like Jefferson County VA during he Civil War. Hey they spoke the same language too. Funny thing is they were occupied by the Union Army during the vote to leave VA and be part of WV. They didn't want to follow Richmond into a disaster but culturally they were Virginians and wanted to stay a part of Virginia cept those blue coat boys told them they may not like the consequences if the residents vote to stay w VA

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:40 | 4502252 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Except immigration and migration has been happening for a lot longer period of time, over in the Crimea.  It has been Russian, or on the border of important Russian territory, for all of 600+ years.  That means the people of the Crimea cannot be so easily labelled 'Ukrainian' or 'Russian'.  They are the people of the Crimea.

The real question is what is the US doing putting its nose in!

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4502348 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Same as always... looking to make a buck.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:47 | 4502280 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4502325 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

The takeaway: US has been a shitty country for a long time.

Same as all the other countries

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 16:05 | 4503082 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Why are you ASSUMING that people in the Crimea are NOT expressing a rational and reasoned preference, as opposed to so a preference based on a paradigm of linguistic or ethnic divide?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:38 | 4502244 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

The free press at work.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:42 | 4502256 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

Yay, it's all fixed! No, it's not fixed. Yay, it's all fixed! No, it's not fixed. It's going to be a long couple of weeks

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:44 | 4502265 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

"We didn't give an ultimatum.  We just strongly suggested..."

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:44 | 4502266 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Not to issue ultimatums.

Wait to vodka run out.

Ukranian soldier become Russian soldier.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4502285 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Having a full military mobilzation materialize around you is not "utter nonsense." 

The message from Putin is clear:  "The big kids are playing now, FUCK OFF and mind your own business."

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 13:52 | 4502298 okssjkee
okssjkee's picture

In case you need any help with translating from Russian I would be more than happy to help ZH.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:00 | 4502340 Son of Captain Nemo
Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:32 | 4502528 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

And after the Ukrainian people "bitch slap" the Neo_Nazis' who want to ban the languages of  russian, romanian and hungarian language(s) that hijacked their legitimate sovereign government the "bloodsuckers" at Monsanto will be the first to go -making profit on everyone elses misery in that Country.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 17:20 | 4503485 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

How many Americans want Spanish language as an official language?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:34 | 4502344 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Ha Ha ha ; "How can you pretend we threaten the Ukrainians when we ask them to eat our Russian Balaclava! ???

Typical western promoted  "neo-national and neo fascist hype from Kiev-Maidan guys!" ....Says the chief thief of Moscow.

"All we are saying is give Russian Balaclava a chance."

"After Sochi Olympics we offer the world our gas, our oil, and now our very own balaclava "made in russia" like our Stolichnaya! " 

"The world does not realise how much I do for world peace. Eat, drink and burp on Siberian gas, Tovarich! "

Chief Long-face from Boston boating club of "skull n bones", now in Kiev pumping heavy metal while Lady Nuland does push ups, is not amused. "We will bury you in our greenback Fiat until your Rouble looks like rubble from Stalingrad. Don't phukk around with the IMF and FED fiat guns of Navarone, now at our disposal."

What Merkel is whispering in Putin's ear right now is : Tovarich, YOU KNOW we buy 90% of your TOTAL oil n gas exports....RIGHT???  

Now thats how Mutti teaches/preaches, to the French and to all those Club Med PIIGS, how to count in Deutschen-euros. Join the club Putin, you are living in "another world".

This game of balaclava tossing is heating up. 

"I deny what you deny having said and I double deny what you have yet to deny having denied."


Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:31 | 4502525 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

December 7, 1941


this time the military is already there mingling with the locals


this planet is fucked

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:33 | 4502540 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

The whole "Euromaidan thing" is another "west" inspired color revolution, but without the color.  People are even thinking that "maidan" means "maiden" for that Yulia lady that is now "in Germany receiving medical treatment." Certainly not working the phones to find buddies with deep pockets.

Look at the "Euromaidan flag" for goodness sake.  It looks like the flag of the EU with all the stars. Who designed that?  Ukrainian nationalists that want to join the EU? Really?!  In the words of my grandmother; 'Nigga please.'

This is just like the "black flag of al-qaeda" that sprang up in Libya and Syria when the call was made to Central Casting.

Listen. The deposed Ukrainian president was a lazy crook, but that is parliament's job to fire him. The whole Euromaidan clan stability rests upon some Ukrainian billionaire "oligarchs" to act as regional governors in the East?  You can send in all the mercenaries to protect those guys, but one glorious tractor factory fire and some bored Spetsnaz will get the point across to these rich guys that once the Russian gas stops flowing, it's time to get out of town. 'Anyone in Cherno?'

The biggest problem is that these rent-a-revolution arm chair remote dictators have read too many books about war and never actually fought one.

If Ukrainian elites spent one tenth the time actually working transparently rather than trying to screw everyone over to make a buck they would have a stable social democracy.  The sad truth is these guys are reading Putin's playbook and thinking they have the chess pieces to deploy. They don't.  Elites on both sides hate democracy, which is being played out right now.

And to think this whole thing started because Ukraine had to borrow money and the "young people" wanted to answer to a Europe banker, rather than a Russian?  That is truly inspiring.  'Let us all take to the streets and make demand for our banker overlords!'

Every day this mess looks more and more like the Bay of Pigs, with Obama looking like a impotent Kennedy.  Remember what happened to him for losing Cuba?

Putin should take the high road and grant the Ukraine the original monies with no strings attached and withdrawal open forces in Crimea just to throw water on the EU/NATO.  Troops or no troops, Russia will always control Crimea.

Now let's all go back to doing something productive with our time.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 14:39 | 4502573 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

Putin and Obama are playing a game of Russian Roulette and it is not much fun for Obama.

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