Stock Rally Stalls As Russia Test-Fires Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile

Tyler Durden's picture

Because BTFWWIII is so yesterday, we present BTFICBMD:

  • *RUSSIA TEST FIRES INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE: INTERFAX
  • *RUSSIA TEST FIRED MISSILE FROM RANGE IN ASTRAKHAN REGION: IFX
  • *RUSSIA MISSILE LAUNCHED AT 10:10PM IN SOUTHERN RUSSIA: INTERFAX
  • *INTERFAX CITES RUSSIAN DEFENSE MINISTRY ON MISSILE TEST

But, the talking heads said Ukraine was fixed and Putin had folded?

Via Bloomberg:

Topol missile launched from firing range in Astrakhan region at 10:10pm Moscow time, news service reports, citing Russia’s Defense Ministry.

 

Launch carried out by Russia’s Strategic Rocket Forces

 

Missile hit target in Kazakhstan: IFX

And Reuters:

Russia said it had successfully test-fired an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) on Tuesday, with tensions high over its seizure of control in the Crimea and its threat to send more forces to its neighbour Ukraine.

 

The Strategic Rocket Forces launched an RS-12M Topol missile from the southerly Astrakhan region near the Caspian Sea and the dummy warhead hit its target at a proving ground in Kazakhstan, the state-run news agency RIA cited Defence Ministry spokesman Igor Yegorov as saying.

The Topol Missile:

 

And the reaction...USDJPY blips and the S&P 500 drops 5 points

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
PartysOver's picture

Bullish or its Bush's fault.  Or was that just Putin giving O another Biatch slap for fun

BlackChicken's picture

Yup, the bitch got bitch-slapped again.

TruthInSunshine's picture

"***This is important because of the tension between Ukraine and Russia. Ukraine borders the Black sea and not the Caspian sea.***"

Russia test fires intercontinental ballistic missile in Astrakhan region, according to Interfax

http://portal.ransquawk.com/headlines/russia-test-fires-intercontinental...

LULZ.

Putin LULZ all day long. Nice chess move there, Grandmaster Vlad. Obama wants to know if you will switch to back alley dice? Please?

Update details:
- As a guide, the Astrakhan region is a major city in southern Russia and borders the Caspian sea.
- ***This is important because of the tension between Ukraine and Russia. Ukraine borders the Black sea and not the Caspian sea.***

Print 18:49 - Global News - Source: Interfax

pods's picture

Well this one isn't as scary as the Chinese sub launch of one just off of LA.

pods

Tortfeasor's picture

Well that escalated quickly. That really got out of hand fast.

johnQpublic's picture

our boys should have stuck to playing monopoly....Risk is not their game

BaBaBouy's picture

TRANSLATION: Shuddup Kerrie ...

James_Cole's picture

As long as they put away the missiles by 3pm est, s'all good. 

TheGermanGuy's picture

There is no stronger force in the world than love - except for the Topol-M

Anusocracy's picture

It would have had a much greater effect if the target area was in far eastern Russia. You know, towards Alaska.

Last week I suggested Russia target all of its nukes. Maybe they have as a protection against losing them in a first strike that the neocons love oh-so-much.

krispkritter's picture

Putin just yelled the equivalent of 'FORE!' and guess who ducked...

smlbizman's picture

10 10....were have i seen that recently?????

Obchelli's picture

Relax market ignored this too now higher - ZH wrong again

eatthebanksters's picture

I have great faith our president and his administration will continue to handle this situation brilliantly!  They have anticipated Putin's every move and have responded shrewdly and with a great exhibition of strength and the will to be forceful if necessary.  They have been clear with the world on their position and because of this Putin clearly is backing down, just like North Korea, China, Iran, Cuba and Venezuela.  For good reason they all fear our brave president.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Anusocracy's picture

Dr. Strangelove or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Obomba.

flacon's picture

"STOCK RALLY UN-STALLS" as world descends into chaos. 

balolalo's picture

Guys,   it's always been .....  BTF-WAR.  

Husk-Erzulie's picture

Agitation level in and around the oval office must be getting epic.  Like gasoline on a frikkin ant hill.  The amateurs in La La Land on the Potomic will start freaking out and making stupid mistakes.  Pretty sure taht is what this is intended to do.  Gotta hand it to Vlad, the guy is serious as a heart attack.  Over to you now Barry... LOL

Independent's picture

Nothing says BOSS like that TOPOL. Damn you look at that Topol bad boy and you see there are 7 balls on each side of that monster (ie tires symbols of kahunas).

NotAMathWhiz's picture

550 KiloTons.  pphhhhtt, what's that in Fukushima's?

Element's picture

About 36 times Hiroshima's energy release.

You won't need to worry about mowing the lawn this weekend, even if you lived 20 kilometers away from ground zero. And you'll need a new garden hose and curtains too, at that range, plus new windows, and the roof checked, and to put out the spot fires and watch for falling burning houses and cars n stuff.

Oh, and shelter in the basement for a couple of weeks thereafter.

Remember, Duck and Cover! :D

Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Too many coincidences for this all to be unfolding naturally:

- The Air Forces loses a large number of missle comanders.

- BHO announces a downsizing of the military.

- The West instigates trouble on the Russian border.

- Russia threatens to dumps dollars and welch on loans to Western banks.

Something big and bad is brewing folks. Buy water, silver, lead, food before it is too late.

Occident Mortal's picture

Why the Topol is good is because it can't be intercepted by any existing Western anti missile system.

The Topol guidance system generates a "random path" between the launch site and the target and it regenerates a new random path every 15 seconds.

This means that by the time any weapons system has locked onto it, it has already changed course.

The guidance software was developed in response to the US's hundred billion dollar Star Wars program which was promptly scrapped when the US found out the Russian had installed new software on their missles that meant you had to locate them, project their trajectory and then intercept them all in the space of 15 seconds.

Star Wars interceptor missiles would have to be travelling at about Mach 500 in order to shoot down the Topol.

Clever those Russians.

Oh and the Topol-M has the range to hit ANY TARGET IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE FROM RUSSIA. Which obviously includes the entire US mainland.

They have space pencils too.

Freddie's picture

The advantage of having Russian computer programmers as opposed to Lockheed Martin having a bunch of Indian H-1Bs writing 12 million lines of spaghetti code for the shitty F-35.

Anusocracy's picture

A relative of mine learned that working with Russians at the local superconducting cyclotron.

Independent's picture

Maybe so but the Indians working for the Indian defense companies are not too bad.  Let us not forget the Brahmos is co developed between the the Russians and Indians with a hypersonic variant due out soon, and also the new stealth fighter is a co development program.  The Indians are one of the first places where writing first was used and have had their share of great accomplishments and mathematicians etc.  Maybe the F35 is  reflection of lack of quality American graduates, who are now spending most of time watching dumb TV shows and texting on facebook and all that other crap.

Element's picture

You realise the F/A-18E/F uses millions of lines of code, right? And that it all works?

Freddie, you really don't have a clue.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

This comment is great, +1, but you can't build a good rotation around a knuckleballer (ahhh spring is in the air...)

Element's picture

This random track tech is not as impressive a capacity as it sounds. The USAF MIRV programs (there were many of them) had developed this ability against the Russian SAM interceptors by about 1965-1966. I have the declassified developmental program docs for these US MIRVs. The US had prototyped, tested and fielded trajectory-change launcher and MIRV capability literally 50 years ago, so this is really old hat.

From memory one of the US MIRVs could disguise and change its aim-point, in flight, by up to 200 nautical miles, to make it far more difficult for defenses to tell there the MIRV launchers would release and fall, but the MIRVs themselves maneuvered too. They even developed a version that could skip across the top of the atmosphere and glide-in, to increase its range and unpredictability fo fall, thus difficulty of tracking and interception. The US MIRVs were totally deadly and highly survivable, even against nuclear interceptor missiles, 50 years ago.

In fact USAF and USN MIRVs were able to US passive SOSUS sonar tracking and triangulation to locate the Russian SSBNs at thousands of miles range, then drop a cluster of 10 x ~1000 m apart, thermonuclear warheads, right on top of the contact intersection point, and blast the SSBN subs right into the stratosphere. The LA-class SSN 'Hunter-Killer' was developed to use the SOSUS track position to locate and track the exact target location of the SSBNs for that very reason, and that's why they were really called "Hunter-Killer" subs, and why they always tracked the SSBNs. There are great high-res photos online of the early streerable MIRVs splashing down over the ocean, to test their spread and precision for that very role.

http://www.techbastard.com/missile/peacekeeper/images/reentry1.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5f/Peacekeeper-mis...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8xUuZ7Mb8ac/T_THUzalZ3I/AAAAAAAAKSA/gb81VGyNAH...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JrLP_BbVBMM/T_THWK18mpI/AAAAAAAAKSk/-8aYcr-tNP...

They were able to do all that by the late 1960s. The US put so much effort into it because the US was almost 100% committed to fighting a full-scale nuclear war at any time, and it intended to survive and win it. By about 1975 it was clear the Soviets were almost caught up, and that the US would not be able to survive and win with SIOP alone, and that's what triggered Reagan's SDI fantasy, in the early 1980s.

It was literally a case of do it, or get wiped out. Furtunately the cold war was done by late 1986, and the Soviets only clung on for the next few years, as deep impoverishment took hold, and then it collapsed.

The US's impoverishment continues to build momentum ... ... and the band played on ...

 

EDIT: ... and look what just happens to pop-up on RT.

 

Iranian Revolutionary Guard ‘has multiple warhead missiles’

Iran says its Revolutionary Guard has acquired missiles with multiple warheads, AP reported, citing Defense Minister Hossein Dehghan. The claim is the latest reported advance in Tehran’s domestic missile production program. The minister said Western sanctions had not stopped Iran from augmenting its ability to deter its enemies from attacking the country.
 
http://rt.com/news/line/2014-03-05/#56183

CH1's picture

It's ALL Bullish!

MOAR BROKEN WINDOWS!

Lore's picture

BUT... BUT.. KERRY DID NOT APPROVE THIS!

CheapBastard's picture

Kerry's going to start crying if Putin doesn't listen to him.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Obama's GDP projections for his budget just might be right after all...../snark

AlaricBalth's picture
"This, all this, is language, a new vocabulary the likes of which the world has never seen. This is President Putin communicating with President Obama."
Paraphrased from 13 Days, the movie.
therover's picture

Great movie and great scene.

Freddie's picture

Is the next part of the scene where President Putin tells *resident Obama to "squeal like a pig - boy."

SMG's picture

You know you read stuff on the internet, and you think "that just doesn't seem possible,".  And then this whole Ukraine Russia China thing happens.

http://www.worldaffairsbrief.com/keytopics/threats.html

If you need me, I'll be in the yard digging a large hole in the ground.

 

Raging Debate's picture

To ALL - I highly advise you read this article link posted by SMG

I have stated here a few times about the death toll if WW3 happens. It will be 1/3. That is war gamed out. Coincidentally (or not depending on your beliefs) this is the death toll stated by John of Patmos in Revelations. Also, the number of combatants is 200 M which would have been impossible in John's time. Plus he seems to be describing modern warfare units such as tanks, missles and mechanical insect swarms which all now currently exist. Something you should know about "prophets" or what can also be called very astute analysts these days.

It has to do with fasting actually whether it be from a digestive disorder or purposely doing it. When the body is deprived of nutrients that are metabolised into chemicals for the brain, it creates adrenaline instead. Adrenaline increases beta brain waves. That in turn increases perception. This explains how South American Indians found Lithium they needed that was 400 miles away from them on the coast. It explains pretty much every modern tool man has ever created or math formula such as E=Mc2. Einstein's parents and teaches said he had "behavioral issues". The best science today such as Dimitri Mihalas are bi-polar. So is the best musicians, artists, etc. Ironically, these tend to care about mankind the most but are the most persecuted. The ironies of evolution! The last indeed are first and vice-versa. The prophet Daniel is my favorite. He forecasted the reformation of Israel in years to 1947 and you can use a calculator after you read it and do the simple math yourself. He was off technically I guess by a few months but not too shabby considering he made this predication over 3,000 years ago. I call Daniel the first quantum scientist, because just stating 'god' did it is not enough, logic of the why and how are important to our development.  

 What you should also know about Revelations besides some caution and hedging is the good news of it, the end as most just focus on the apolocalpse: "The tent of God resides with mankind forever. He will wipe every tear from there eye and death will be no more."

 If you study where we are at with quantum physics you will know we are punching holes in the 4Th dimension. The objective as per usual with human tools is to increase trade. But what we stumbled on is the "new jerusalem" or promised land. We are 50 years from evolving back to energy. The demented that think a world war that can be won - They get to betest subjects of a new kind of prison, beyond this world as revelation claims.

The good news for them is our existence is pretty forgiving, that time accelerates so fast in 4D the sentence of "eternity" is really more like 3 earth days. By all means read Revelations but read Daniel first, then Ezekial. But do not stop with reading that, go on to read quantum physics and where mankind is at in terms of tech. Compare evolutionary biology and other sciences, don't just rely on a pastor, imam or other religious leader. Their intepretation is off because they stopped reading science and instead just now recite doctrine.

Sadly, that same tech that grants us the end to death within 50 years once again will be weaponized FIRST into a WMD. Think of a pinprick in space-time that you can't see it is so small. That sucks several miles of earth, cities, etc. into it, it will look like a whirlpool at sea but on land. You die instantly but the land is still there for conquest after. No radiation, no fallout. Land and resources is the root of all wars. Here is the real tragedy and choice - global leaders could focus on quantum tech so we enter in perhaps 20 years. I have stated by 2021 many times here and elsewhere there will be real prosperity. Mankind does have choice, we do have freewill. We can direct our final evolutionary programming of competition to our destiny by channeling into entertainment, like the Olympics but every participant on earth participates. Will that happen? I hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Raging Debate's picture

To ALL - I highly advise you read this article link posted by SMG

I have stated here a few times about the death toll if WW3 happens. It will be 1/3. That is war gamed out. Coincidentally (or not depending on your beliefs) this is the death toll stated by John of Patmos in Revelations. Also, the number of combatants is 200 M which would have been impossible in John's time. Plus he seems to be describing modern warfare units such as tanks, missles and mechanical insect swarms which all now currently exist. Something you should know about "prophets" or what can also be called very astute analysts these days.

It has to do with fasting actually whether it be from a digestive disorder or purposely doing it. When the body is deprived of nutrients that are metabolised into chemicals for the brain, it creates adrenaline instead. Adrenaline increases beta brain waves. That in turn increases perception. This explains how South American Indians found Lithium they needed that was 400 miles away from them on the coast. It explains pretty much every modern tool man has ever created or math formula such as E=Mc2. Einstein's parents and teaches said he had "behavioral issues". The best science today such as Dimitri Mihalas are bi-polar. So is the best musicians, artists, etc. Ironically, these tend to care about mankind the most but are the most persecuted. The ironies of evolution! The last indeed are first and vice-versa. The prophet Daniel is my favorite. He forecasted the reformation of Israel in years to 1947 and you can use a calculator after you read it and do the simple math yourself. He was off technically I guess by a few months but not too shabby considering he made this predication over 3,000 years ago. I call Daniel the first quantum scientist, because just stating 'god' did it is not enough, logic of the why and how are important to our development.  

 What you should also know about Revelations besides some caution and hedging is the good news of it, the end as most just focus on the apolocalpse: "The tent of God resides with mankind forever. He will wipe every tear from there eye and death will be no more."

 If you study where we are at with quantum physics you will know we are punching holes in the 4Th dimension. The objective as per usual with human tools is to increase trade. But what we stumbled on is the "new jerusalem" or promised land. We are 50 years from evolving back to energy. The demented that think a world war that can be won - They get to betest subjects of a new kind of prison, beyond this world as revelation claims.

The good news for them is our existence is pretty forgiving, that time accelerates so fast in 4D the sentence of "eternity" is really more like 3 earth days. By all means read Revelations but read Daniel first, then Ezekial. But do not stop with reading that, go on to read quantum physics and where mankind is at in terms of tech. Compare evolutionary biology and other sciences, don't just rely on a pastor, imam or other religious leader. Their intepretation is off because they stopped reading science and instead just now recite doctrine. Man thinkjs we are so smart with science when in reality all we are doing is replicating what already exists in nature. Evolving back to energy is the natural process at death. From what I know, there is no specific purpose of existence and godhead is a rotating chair but a real one nonethless. I love the apostle Paul the most of the bible when discussing religion: above all use reason (logic or what we call today science).

Sadly, that same quantum tech that grants us the end to death within 50 years once again will be weaponized FIRST into a WMD. Think of a pinprick in space-time that you can't see it is so small. There is no warning or siren like an ICBM. That sucks several miles of earth, cities, etc. into it, it will look like a whirlpool at sea but on land. You die instantly but the land is still there for conquest after. No radiation, no fallout. Land and resources is the root of all wars. Here is the real tragedy and choice - global leaders could focus on quantum tech so we enter in perhaps 20 years. I have stated by 2021 many times here and elsewhere there will be real prosperity after this time. The end is the end to our necessary evolutionary design of competition. The failure of Darwinists is simply this: You are supposed to give back to your global community for the imperfections of capitalism.

Mankind does have choice, we do have freewill. We can direct our final evolutionary programming of competition to our destiny by channeling into entertainment, like the Olympics but every participant on earth participates. We can channel it into health care calling it "Operation Eternity" and every old rich feller will happily fund it. But will that happen? I hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I cannot speak for leadership, I am just a peon analyst after all. A humble servant if you will.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

There may be special significance to test firing an ICBM from said region.

http://english.farsnews.com/newstext.aspx?nn=13921127001182

It should also be worth noting that said test site is within very easy firing range of Ukraine, Turkey, Syria, Iraq, etc., in other words, there is more at play here than just the Ukraine.

Yenbot's picture

And, to said region (Kazahkstan). Like DC bombing Alabama during the Civil War. Also see: Blazing Saddles.

BaBaBouy's picture

Igor,  It's Time To "Test-Fire" An Intercon Missile Thats Already Been Tested 25 Times Before...

HoofHearted's picture

"Yes, Boris. Zen zey vill see vat ve jave the big testicles."

Speaking of, where is Boris Alotovkrap in all of this? He could shed some light and much-needed humor on the situation. 

Obama is not have the testicular fortitude to play games with Putin. Come on, Boris, none of the rest of us can do this in the way that you do...or is Boris trying to negotiate peace between the two nations?

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Astrakhan is at the mouth of the Volga.  Crimea controls the Don and Dnieper, Astrakhan controls the mouth of the Volga.

Those rivers are by far your best bet for penetrating deep into Ukraine/Russian territory.  The overland route... is more difficult, to say the least.

Freddie's picture

Could someone go up those rivers in an armed Swift boat?  Maybe they can send John Kohn up those rivers and tell him it is Laos.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

This is easy.  Have Kerry recall the Russian ICBMs back to their launchers via Associated Press newswire.  S&P +200 by EOD.

geno-econ's picture

The guys manning our IBCM's are out at the casinos in Las Vegas and scamming test preparedness scores. So are the Bankers and Wall St . while Wash. Is playing Dominos.