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Stock Rally Stalls As Russia Test-Fires Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Because BTFWWIII is so yesterday, we present BTFICBMD:

  • *RUSSIA TEST FIRES INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE: INTERFAX
  • *RUSSIA TEST FIRED MISSILE FROM RANGE IN ASTRAKHAN REGION: IFX
  • *RUSSIA MISSILE LAUNCHED AT 10:10PM IN SOUTHERN RUSSIA: INTERFAX
  • *INTERFAX CITES RUSSIAN DEFENSE MINISTRY ON MISSILE TEST

But, the talking heads said Ukraine was fixed and Putin had folded?

Via Bloomberg:

Topol missile launched from firing range in Astrakhan region at 10:10pm Moscow time, news service reports, citing Russia’s Defense Ministry.

 

Launch carried out by Russia’s Strategic Rocket Forces

 

Missile hit target in Kazakhstan: IFX

And Reuters:

Russia said it had successfully test-fired an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) on Tuesday, with tensions high over its seizure of control in the Crimea and its threat to send more forces to its neighbour Ukraine.

 

The Strategic Rocket Forces launched an RS-12M Topol missile from the southerly Astrakhan region near the Caspian Sea and the dummy warhead hit its target at a proving ground in Kazakhstan, the state-run news agency RIA cited Defence Ministry spokesman Igor Yegorov as saying.

The Topol Missile:

 

And the reaction...USDJPY blips and the S&P 500 drops 5 points

 

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Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:56 | 4508106 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Nothing to see here.  Back to your regularly shceduled stock market rally.  

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:58 | 4508109 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Desperate move on Russia's part. They are trying to change the status quo, but they have been check mated. That is if it wasn't scheduled months in advance....

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:59 | 4508121 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

Not even remotely.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:47 | 4508395 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Well before you stop to down vote consider the following:

Ukraine government is now a puppet government to the west, Putin has held on to crimeria and the warm water  ports/base

The US is now ready to step in sell its excess of oil imports to the EU/UK along with canada

Has anyone confirmed this test was done in advance?? Was  confirmed that US knew in advance

Putin is a great strategist, but gazprom calls the shots and right now the west is fully prepared to lay sanctions on russia that will be severally detrimental.

Putin caught in a crossfire, yield his troops in crimeria to their base and looks like hes bending to pressure OR show force that you are not fucking around vis a vie the troop build up by bulrius, naval exercises, the survillance plane, and the launch. But if he stands his ground he won't have to worry about the west but gazprom being furious along with the russian banks.

Chinas play on this is still unknown ...

 

EDIT: 

This battle is not between Barry S and his trusty steed Horseshit face, if you read it closely its the IMF  is ready to sweep in (they backed the 1B loan) and put in a western sympatheic government that will simultaneously control the pipelines and force Russia to stop discounting her natural resources. Moreover it opens ukraine to NATO and EU talks. This battle is being fought on Russias front door not in a distance place like Syria. 

Ill will say putin is under 'check' by the IMF, Putin is a stragetic genious, he knows how catastrophic this is the for Russia to re-established a 21st centuary USSR. Consider this : who is Russias main allys? China? Not so clean, Syria? Under intense war and pressure..., several states that have no population or reources that end with -itsan?

Russia has no choice but to plunge this into chaos and hope it comes out on the other side...classic strategy

I highly suggest you read George Washingtons Excellent Post on how the west has had this planned for 20 years of encroachment, then you will understand why I think this maybe check

 http://www.zerohedge.com/contributed/2014-03-03/backstory-russia-ukraine...

 

 

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:18 | 4508397 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

 

Duplicate post. Also I will take the all expense paid trip to Kazistan to see "Glorious Peoples Missile of Space and Mastery", Thats right Fonestor I rather be burned to death then be caught with fucking Bitchcoin.

 

 

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:02 | 4508139 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Congratulations!
You've just won Dumbest Comment of the Year Award!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:05 | 4508168 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Tell him what he has won, Frankie! 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:10 | 4508215 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

An induction into The Fools Hall O' Fame!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:14 | 4508240 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

And a gift card from Mt. Gox pre-loaded with 100 bitcoins!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:25 | 4508330 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

AND a shiny new 30 year UST!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:28 | 4508344 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Damn it, Ill transfer them to doggiecoin FML

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:33 | 4508714 Conax
Conax's picture

This sounds great! I'ma get that prize!

no 1) That missile was a fake hologram, and we're in the greatest economic recovery since WWII.

and B, Putin is a pale faced puss-man, we will whip his narrow ass with a wire coathanger, and he will be our bitch and buy our bonds and get his mind right from now on.

 

(That's some stupid shit right there, I don't care who you are)

 

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508280 angryBuddhist
angryBuddhist's picture

An all expense paid vacation at "ground zero" of the next misslie launch in some foreign land that nobody gives a shit about!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:17 | 4508646 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Who the hell wants to go to New Jersey?

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:26 | 4508334 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Wow I got flamed lol.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:39 | 4508427 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Dumbest comment of the year? Maybe day? Have you not read anything _MDB or fonestar has said? OK..

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:53 | 4508519 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Not sure why you got dogpiled so much. I have written things here that are quantum leaps more stupid.  Change your username and come back tomorrow.  

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:26 | 4509563 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Or NEVER change it, pull up your big boy shorts and suck it up.  Mistakes will be made live em, love em, learn from em..  Bitchez

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508283 joego1
joego1's picture

Dude this is fight club, you are supposed to come out fists first not ass first.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508415 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Some nights you get the shit kicked out of you

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:06 | 4508591 walküre
walküre's picture

hold your ground bro

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:25 | 4508324 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Which do you like better? Zero's dick in your mouth or Reggie's cock up your ass?......... Idiot, you don't have a clue.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508451 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Niether and yes I have no clue that comment elicited that type of reaction..

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:57 | 4508113 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Do these things still work?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4508158 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Uh, yes.

And they are very effective at dynamic urban renewal.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:05 | 4508167 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Krugman is so happy right now.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:15 | 4508257 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'd be happy if Krugman pulled on Kong on one of those.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508274 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Luke.  I feel a great disturbance in the force.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:56 | 4508532 BliptoP3
BliptoP3's picture

you mean farce - right?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 14:59 | 4508114 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Do any other Americans feel embarrassed for our country like me the way Obama is being treated? Putin is doing the political equivalent of ass-to-mouth to our President.

God our country needs a leader.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:02 | 4508141 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Im embarrased but it has nothing to do with that. Its the fact i have 10 different gov agencies watch my family while they use the toilette from portable devices and webcams.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:05 | 4508169 One And Only
One And Only's picture

How do you like Obamacares and your $12,000 deductable?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:09 | 4508203 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Lmfao im still pissed i have to buy auto ins. These are crazy times

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:13 | 4508232 Cygnus Nigri
Cygnus Nigri's picture

Does it cover radiation burns?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:35 | 4508400 Bosch
Bosch's picture

On the other hand if you took off all the tinfoil their reception wouldn't be so killer awesome. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508445 maskone909
maskone909's picture

I hope u are not in finance or trading because 90% of the job is research. Its an absolute fact that gov agencies use such tactics to spy on folks. If that is still "crazy talk" to you, well you are either ignoring the facts or just really stupid. This might not be the right platform for you.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:03 | 4508145 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

This only a test, if this were an actual emergency the sound you are hearing would be accompanied by another 20 points UP on the SPY, and 20 down on Gold.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:03 | 4508150 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

this is what happens when a metro sissy girl runs the country

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:13 | 4508231 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

You can say that again...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508258 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Sexist. Metro sissy girls would be much more scary and effective. You know you're scared of us at "that time of month." 

No one is scared of Obama.

BTFPMS!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:45 | 4508473 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

What's the difference between a PMS'ing woman and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:03 | 4508151 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

this is what happens when a metro sissy girl runs the country

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:03 | 4508152 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

he should ask for a refund of the 4 billion given to the neo nazi protesters

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508418 Bosch
Bosch's picture

Is that the Jewish Neo-Nazi protesters or the regular Neo-Nazi protesters? Trying to adjust the dial on my ZH Conspiracy theory spin wheel. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:05 | 4508162 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

dude...CHILL OUT.

Frau Merkel was spot on about this guy...as "this escalation" begets "total deployment of the entire US Navy."

Not saying the USA has a plan here...but our Admirals will not be taken out "in port." It will take some time (maybe a couple of weeks) but the entire US Navy will now be deployed.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:08 | 4508193 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Resulting in even more mis-allocation of resources and capital.

Is this such a good move for an insolvent nation?

Will they be taking all the unemployed and old as cannon fodder?

Would be an easy way to take care of some unfunded liabilities.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:17 | 4508195 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Obama has purged our military of some of our best and most competent generals/admirals.

Look at the list...it's long and distinguished (and the longest in US history...by far)

Ironically seeing as Russia is the topic du jour, Stalin did the same thing as he was paranoid of a coup.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:27 | 4508338 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Please do some research. We haven't fired generals since WWII. Mistakes are forgiven and promotions are programmed in. As for "distinguished" we haven't won a war since WWII (over 70 years).

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:45 | 4508475 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Please do some research. We haven't been in a war since WWII. At least any wars as spelled out by the constitution. We have had police actions, kinetic military action, but no wars. The last declared war was against Japan.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:19 | 4509292 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The last declared war was against Japan.

 

 

 

Not true...The Declaration of War against Japan was issued on December 8, 1941. Technically we were still at peace with Germany and Italy.

 

After Germany declared War against the United States (and that jew Roosevelt...from Hitler's Declaration) then the United States declared War against Germany and Italy. That happened on December 11, 1941.

 

Read the Declaration.

 

http://historicalresources.org/us-declaration-of-war-against-germany-december-11-1941/

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508412 barroter
barroter's picture

Anyone remember the conga line of generals during the Iraq war? Was like a turnstyle at a subway.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:40 | 4508431 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Among those, he also purged a lot of tr Tribesmen and Aristocrats from top positions, which is why they and their descendants are still nursing old grudges over here.

Once a people get the mindset that they have some kind of a divine right to be above all others, their wrath and retribution has no end, if scorned. Kind of like a woman scorned, according to Shakespeare.

This helps put things in context and historical perspective, I think.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:11 | 4508220 darteaus
darteaus's picture

AND a mobilization of the German military.  Did she mention that?  Yeah, nothing to worry about there...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:08 | 4508602 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

The absolute very last thing anyone in Europe, Asia and North America want to hear is that "the German Army has been deployed". That has been a miserable adventure for the past century, so don't bring it on again....the world will do just fine with German troops going home for dinner every night.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:08 | 4508918 walküre
walküre's picture

I'm shining my boots and cleaning my G3 just in case!

Mutti, I will fight your wars for the Vaterland!!!! Where do I park my scooter on the Truppenwagen?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:21 | 4508299 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Yes it is humiliating.  Not because we don't have a great leader but because the system is broken to the point where one fool can take us to the precipice of destruction both internally and externally and that people complain about not having a leader instead of standing up for themselves.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:38 | 4508423 chubbar
chubbar's picture

One of the problems is that our leader actually likes the ass to mouth gig so isn't likely to try and disrupt the proceedings.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:48 | 4508484 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

      This does not even feel like America any longer..just a distorted ghost of divided by design people who no longer understand the core principles economically and judicially made us "Exceptional". 

  Personally it is about time someone pulled our card.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4508154 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Vlad is in big trouble... when Obongo comes out from under his desk... and changes his lace-trimmed briefs... a strongly worded letter is SURE to be sent...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4508155 nelsonmandella
nelsonmandella's picture

bitcoin up 8% in 10 minutes !! Putin just put his $100million into BTC --  

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4508156 nelsonmandella
nelsonmandella's picture

bitcoin up 8% in 10 minutes !! Putin just put his $100million into BTC --  

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4508160 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Someone call Sarah, ask her if she can see this from her porch?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:07 | 4508189 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Im still in disbelief from the debacle a few days ago. The whole nailin palin campaign tour bus was here

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:09 | 4508197 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Nothing to be ashamed of, she's a good looking woman, for her age.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:11 | 4508221 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Yeah there is that ;)

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:22 | 4508310 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

I take it you don't like her.  Let me ask, would you prefer the status quo that we have now or Sarah?  I'd take the common sense country girl any day.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:28 | 4508348 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Question:

I can write pro (insert team here) articles/ posts all day. Very persuasive, very definitive. I have extensive medical and financial background. Please pm me for references.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:34 | 4509387 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Anything for a buck? Come on...

 

I have much more respect for you than that.

 

Principles over profits.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 05:39 | 4510924 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Just making a point tom i dont think this site even has private messaging ;)

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:30 | 4508363 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Anyone who would vote for a person who quit a governorship (which is more powerful than a senator) is not thinking clearly.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:48 | 4508486 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

It's not so much of a question of "like", it's more of a question of "respect".

I most certainly "like" her (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), but just I don't respect her intellectually. Even if she is a shagadelic MILF/GILF.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:26 | 4509354 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

NONE OF THE ABOVE.

 

Why are you stuck in the Two Party False Dilemma? People as yourself is the very reason that I have no hope for America. You are totally indoctrinated.

 

McPain and Painlyn would have been the same as OBAMATM as they would have just continued the regression to our destruction. They all work for the same Puppet Masters.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:09 | 4508199 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Putin invades another country, launches an ICBM, and who knows what else that is not being reported, and you think it's a joke?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:31 | 4509373 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Can you do anything about it?

 

Gallows Humor. It is a joke. And the joke is on us.

 

A joke is just a funny way of telling the truth.

 

A laugh is a physiological nervous response to the acceptance of that truth.

 

If you are offended then you do not accept what is written as truth.

 

Perhaps you need expound upon why you believe that it is not true???

 

Just joking...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:39 | 4508426 barroter
barroter's picture

She can read her foreign policy positions from her palm.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:06 | 4508174 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Please, God, let it be New York. Or LA. Or D.C.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508284 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

optimist.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:24 | 4508318 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Not praying for anyone's destruction but please miss me.  Word is that Detroit, Chicago, and Norlens would hardly notice if hit by a nuke.  Just sayin'.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:38 | 4509404 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

San Diego...Let me know. I will be at Miramar Marine Base or North Island Naval Station for that spectacle. I want to be at Ground Zero.

 

You fear death??? Who wants to live in the aftermath of a Thermonuclear War? There are fates worse than death.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:06 | 4508175 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Buy Raytheon ?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:13 | 4508180 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Barry talks; Putin launches.

What a horribly outclassed dork we have.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:07 | 4508184 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

Obviously the jump today was pre-ordained to blow out the shorts one more (last) time. Because who in their right mind thinks this is over? Does Putin strike anyone as the type to back down? His troops are still on the ground and it only takes one Ukranian soldier getting nervous for all hell to break loose. Putin's statement was speaking softly and carrying a big stick

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:08 | 4508191 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Pooty poot showing obama who has the bigger dick....obama has been smitten by the gesture.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:09 | 4508201 RiotActing
RiotActing's picture

I cant find this anywhere on the internet... how about a properly sourced post ZH? 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:13 | 4508229 Addicted
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508420 Hephaestus
Hephaestus's picture

That because ZH moves at FTL speed. Smart minds here often report the news before it even happens! Just give it few minutes and watch the headlines change.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:29 | 4508354 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Uhmm he did source them, Bloomturd and Reuters.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:10 | 4508207 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Putin letting off some steam and a big FUCK YOU to Obammy

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:11 | 4508218 soopy
soopy's picture

Shall we play a game?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:41 | 4509420 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Well the only winning move is not to play.

 

How about a game of Tic-Tac-Toe?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:34 | 4508234 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

DELETED

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:35 | 4508402 joego1
joego1's picture

Seems more real this time some how.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:14 | 4508244 Das Capitalist
Das Capitalist's picture

What's BTF? I think I missed it.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508285 captcorona
captcorona's picture

ZH Classics!!! we present BTFICBMD: Buy The Fucking Inter-Continental Balsitic Missle Dip

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:22 | 4508309 Das Capitalist
Das Capitalist's picture

Thanks. Not on ZH as much as I used to.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:15 | 4508248 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Hey Barry!

 

Show Putin what a tough guy you are and go blow up a few more Somalis.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:15 | 4508250 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

 

Putin offered them a graceful exit . . . again.  But for these clowns appearances ARE reality, so like the chessboard shitting pigeon, they thought they won.

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508251 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

its a "type-of-dong"...looking for Obummer's brown star

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v46plhmxXU4

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508266 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Barry, Barry, Barry.....shameful.

 

Putin has no respect for you Barry and he has nothing to lose.

 

Here that ticking sound Barry?  That's the clock running out of time on you - hopefully you penned a plan on the back of a napkin or a Planned Parenthood brochure.

 

You're such a fucking embarrassment Barry.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508268 Amagnonx
Amagnonx's picture

Putin: "Just looked like a fine day to launch some ICBM's - no particular reason, just so long as you remember that we have them."

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508270 ChargingHandle
ChargingHandle's picture

Nothing to see here. A beautiful day for testing an end game vehicle and assessing its max payload capabilities. Surely he plans to launch unicorns and lollipos for the west. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508271 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Note well the tight relationship between world crises and the price of gold /sarc

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:18 | 4508277 fauxhammer
fauxhammer's picture

Putin on the Blitz...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4508286 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Not even a direct hit on the NYSE can stop this buull market.

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:21 | 4508298 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

Cramer just announced he is long prepper and bugout retailers 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:20 | 4508291 joego1
joego1's picture

Homey wishes he dug the root seller last year.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:33 | 4508294 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

Whoa this shit is getting serious.

At this rate I can definitely see a cock size challenge coming up.

But if firing a inter-continental ballistic missile isn't a subtle way of saying ' back the fuck off ' I dunno what is.

And stocks are rallying off this news WTF?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508450 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Nuclear war should reduce unproductive employees. That always makes investors happy.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:52 | 4508517 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Nuclear war will thin out the sheeple

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:20 | 4508296 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Clearly, if I may speak for the hasbara-american community, this all makes abundantly it clear that we should invade Iran.

For freedoms.

And the Old Testament.

Huzzzaah!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:21 | 4508300 q99x2
q99x2's picture

FED better start making software backups.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:27 | 4508342 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

I hope they don't backup to the cloud (the big mushroom looking one).

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:22 | 4508305 10mm
10mm's picture

Please to meet you, hope you guess my name. Ahh what's puzzeling you, is the nature of my game.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:24 | 4508313 Critical Path
Critical Path's picture

"A few months ago when you were asked what the biggest geopolitcal threat facing america was, you said Russia..."

"... and the 1980s are calling to ask for their foreign policy back" - Barry, 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJUA_OdafwY

 

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508416 homiegot
homiegot's picture

If you like your 1980s foreign policy you can keep it.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:25 | 4508320 joego1
joego1's picture

Now Vlad that's a really dirty way to front run the market now isn't it? By the way Jammie called and after your term as Pres. is up he wants to talk.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:24 | 4508322 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the new hot/cold war with two nuclear armed opponents is HUGELY BULLISH BITCHEZ!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:00 | 4508556 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

It''s all planned to cover up the Fukushima disaster.  Once the bombs go off it will be impossible to tell who's radiation is who's.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:25 | 4508327 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Holy shit!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:29 | 4508353 Sizzurp
Sizzurp's picture

Now might be a good time to break out that ultra-secret space laser thingy....... if we have one.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:29 | 4508356 The Duke of New...
The Duke of New York A No.1's picture

Putin gives the Western Bankers an Austin Powers Judo Chop;

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PucLbhKrCqo

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:31 | 4508360 joego1
joego1's picture
Kerry in Kiev: 'Nothing Strong' About How Russia Is Acting

 

Yes it's more like shit your pants scary at this point John.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:34 | 4508386 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Isn't it great they have such a large territory to test such things?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:47 | 4508479 Cygnus Nigri
Cygnus Nigri's picture

US has plenty of places to test... Somolia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Yemen....

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:34 | 4508389 royal
royal's picture

Putin and Russia aren't going to give up Ukraine to the West. They will go to war, take it to the bank!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:34 | 4508393 hotrod
hotrod's picture

But remember, Jay Carney said our president can "multi task real well".  I thought we used that term when mostly referring to women???

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:35 | 4508394 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Dont worry since they all have purchased the shit called the Patriot System.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:51 | 4508506 Staplegun
Staplegun's picture

That internal clock thing...ooops. Probably worse now that the Chinese have inserted malicious code in everything.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:05 | 4508584 Cygnus Nigri
Cygnus Nigri's picture

I don't think that works on ICBMs.....

Duck and cover bitchez....

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4508419 mt paul
mt paul's picture

Putin, bought the dip
created the news, then sold

good for a few quick % points

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508448 Debugas
Debugas's picture

is Topol M so cheap that it was profitable ?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:39 | 4508428 royal
royal's picture

This is a regional issue, and horsehead Jew Kerry and Mullato Meow-Mix Obama need to stay the fuck out of Ukraine. Their ignorant, power drunk hubris could endanger us all!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:49 | 4508440 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

Putin's the new face of inevitable history and the rule of law by bayonet! The attorneys for Putin ARE DIFFERENT Barry Obozo.....they are gutted by the FSB! He's bringing back the old Soviet Union.....the independence of the old soviet republics was just a ruse to flush out and identify who are the hopeful sheeple infidels that didn't truly believe in NOMENKLATURA and worship his bayonet so he could deal with them. Putin will make Stalin look like an altar boy. He'll anal rape Obama, cluster fu_k the hopeful liberal sheep in the west like Kerry and Clinton and pilage Europe like Atilla the Hun.....pick your battles Obozo, this one isn't one you're going to win. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:12 | 4508621 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Kerry and Clinton, liberal?

You know the definition of that word has been so stretched to absurdity when Kerry and any Clinton is referred to as being such.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:41 | 4508442 Addicted
Addicted's picture

WTF is it a bad sign, falling in love with this Putin guy? Or is it zerohedge propaganda making my hormone system go beserk?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508444 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

And it's off to the BTFATH races again...!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:42 | 4508447 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

  I watched Putin's interview in full and honestly I saw nothing optimistic about it let alone anything that was necessitate another tard rally like we saw today..I may be getting my ass handed to me being short all this time but even I have to say this market's lunacy is nothing short of entertaning on a comedic level rivaled by NOTHING..who even believes this ponz anymore. When this farce ends we may be at S&P 3200 but it is going to be 3-4 days of flash crash like action.

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:44 | 4508469 Debugas
Debugas's picture

my take on S&P is that investors find it more secure to keep invested in idling productive capacity rather than in fiat paper

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:53 | 4508511 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

You betcha.....I wondered why Warren Buffet is selling equities of minority stakes and only buying shares when he's got a controlling or serious interest in a company. Now I know he's given up on equities and will shelter his assets in companies he owns or has a good chance of controlling. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:43 | 4508455 Hindenburg...Oh Man
Hindenburg...Oh Man's picture

How often do they test launch these? Is this a rare event or not? Context?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:49 | 4508472 Debugas
Debugas's picture

they test it couple times per year.

But the timing now is strange indeed. If Putin wanted to avoid tensions he would not do it now.

I suspect his intelligence got some intel or he wanted to get some intel by this launch

It could even be a push to help US congress to initiate impeachment of Obama

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:49 | 4508489 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the title is a weeeeee bit provocative.

There is no relation of cause n effect as implied by it.

Market euphoria is now an institutionalised function based on CB mantra of doing God's work; whatever the lone star of Putin Czar may imply by its resurgence into the big sky. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:33 | 4508716 negative rates
negative rates's picture

What are you co-pilot now?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:40 | 4508774 falak pema
falak pema's picture

no economy class passenger. But I have free mind and I try to use it.

Any nuts on this flight?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:02 | 4508505 Debugas
Debugas's picture

Russian Officials tell the test was planned even before ukrainian crisis

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:23 | 4509341 Fractal Parasite
Fractal Parasite's picture

The Ukraine crisis was likely planned long before this missile test was.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:53 | 4508523 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

Dip is done at support of 1868. That was quick.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:54 | 4508524 Hohum
Hohum's picture

Nice armchair warrior comments here.  Anyway, doesn't a rising stock market merely reflect more hedge fund borrowing?  Let them borrow and eat cake!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 15:55 | 4508528 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

Something tells me NATO is about to expand.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 16:06 | 4508595 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

NATo is broke, Italy, Greece LOL cmon they can't afford the fuel for F16s, let alone F35s

 

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