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Stocks Close At Record High On Russian ICBM Launch

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It would appear the BFTATH mentaility has morphed into a BTFICBMD perspective as the "market" shrugs off an 'apparently expected' ICBM launch to soar to new record highs with the best day in stocks for months (if not years). USDJPY was in charge intraday as 102 was flushed through (with JPY's biggest drop in 2 months) and dragged stocks (led by the "most-shorted") non-stop. Equity volumes were 20-30% below yesterday's. The USD was relatively unmoved on the day (modestly higher oddly on a risk-on day). Gold and oil prices slipped (but remain in the green on the week) as Silver slipped into the red. Copper rallied. Treasury yields surged 6-8bps (the biggest jump in 4 months) as 2s10s steepened 6bps. VIX was cracked 2 vols lower to 14%. The S&P closed at 1873, just 27 points shy of Goldman's 2014 year-end target.

 

For a brief few minutes, stocks actually sold off - when Russia launched an ICBM - but what a great opportunity to buy that was:

 

and across all the indices - the launch of an ICBM was hardly noticed (especially Trannies)... evidently the bulk of gains wer ein the US open to EU close session...

 

Credit was a little more apprehensive of the record highs... from the EU close and again from the ICBM launch...

 

But USDJPY was in charge of stocks... fun-durr-mentals!!!

 

Which smashed the Russell to all-time-highs, the S&P to all-time highs (and therefore green for 2014) with only the Dow in the red still since the end of 2013...

 

Financials pushed back into the green for 2014 leading the way along with Healthcare (Biotechs) today...

 

The Fantastic-Five were mixed today with all of them weak after Europe closed...

 

Treasury yields smashed higher with the biggest yield rise in 4 months... with notable steepening in 2s10s

 

The USD went dead-stick after Europe's close to end up around 0.5% on the week...

 

While correlations across risk assets were high, the afternoon - post US open, gold decoupled - not selling off as much as would have been expected...

 

Gold and oil sold off and recoupled with copper as Silver slid into the red on the week...

 

Since its 1979 inception, the small-cap Russell 2000 has been +3% to a 52-week high only 1 other time, Feb 29, 2000... that didn't end well...

Charts: Bloomberg

Bonus Chart: Stocks are the most divergent from broad risk sentiment since the big correction in 2012 (h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

 

Bonus Bonus Chart: The Nikkei's disconnect from USDJPY has been recoupled...

 

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Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:08 | 4508921 22winmag
22winmag's picture

They test while we mothball.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:13 | 4508954 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

This market could survive anything....like a cockroach

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508986 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

great way to goose MyRa

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:23 | 4509022 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Does John Kerry know who they test-fired it at?...

Just askin...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509063 swass
swass's picture

Well.. Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes.. Eh, comrades, eh?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 21:00 | 4509934 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

The old SS-25. Ah, Cold War days.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:31 | 4509073 oak
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:50 | 4509169 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Just look around... we're all doomed.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:17 | 4508988 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

At least it was only one missile they tested. I'll worry when they test a few hundred at one time. Since we have about 90 minutes I'm sure that will be the lie told to everyone, they are just testing a few hundred ICBMs and so are we.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:27 | 4509041 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

It's 15 minutes or less.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:52 | 4509695 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Less than that if it's a boomer off either coast. Try 90 seconds. 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:18 | 4508991 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Thoink of the rally that would ensue if the Russians would fire on Washington!!!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:55 | 4509464 max2205
max2205's picture

Buy when the first shot is fired....i don't think they had ICBM'S then.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:49 | 4509679 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Think of the executive order Barry would sign as it re-enters the atmosphere.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509064 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

KRSE, THE Keith Richards Stock Exchange

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:02 | 4509243 arnoldsimage
arnoldsimage's picture

till you buy in.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:30 | 4509575 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

 This market could survive anything....like a cockroach

Mr Pink

That will come in handy as the cockroach monitors our investments when we're all gone!

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508955 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

BTFHATH[Mushroom Cloud]!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:18 | 4508996 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

BTFMAD

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:41 | 4509126 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

ICBM is the new QE.

Next: Yellen fired three minuteman missiles, to support current SaPoorski level of 2900.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:22 | 4509550 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

We need a Major Kong graphic to complement Donkey Kong and The Deer

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508962 Timmay
Timmay's picture

BTFWTF.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508983 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

Of all the bullshit I've witnessed in this market the past 25 years today takes the cake. What a total fucking Pig Circus.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:24 | 4509030 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Or a pig-fucking circus; retail = the pig.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:38 | 4509113 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Muppet fuckers.  I like the sound of it better.  Hell, it would be a great band name.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:17 | 4508994 Diablo
Diablo's picture

Tyler, this was planned WEEKS ahead...and the USA knew about. are you really that ignorant or just trying to sensationalize non-news again?

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:22 | 4509017 Element
Element's picture

But the algos are so brave ... it's inspirin' ... you go guys!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:23 | 4509025 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Because 0bongo.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:57 | 4509331 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

it's vital to grab that yield before the mushroom cloud appears.  it might not be there afterwards.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:05 | 4509504 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

The puppets in Kiev only need to look at Greece to see their future. Shit is hilarious and confirms that stupidity has no bounds

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:08 | 4508929 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

How about those IYR's...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:09 | 4508930 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

this is the rally that was supposed to happen yesterday so they made up for it today.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:10 | 4508935 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

"STOCKS CLOSE AT RECORD HIGH ON RUSSIAN ICBM LAUNCH"
or
why I love ZH. Tyler.....you're the best!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:10 | 4508938 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

We're on the highway to Hell

No stop signs, speed limits

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:12 | 4508948 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

"Hey Yellen! Paid my dues....playing in a HFT band."

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:12 | 4508952 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture

 

 

Apparently. Too bad we are not in the driver's seat...

 

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:10 | 4508942 falak pema
falak pema's picture

so now stall correlation becomes blast off ?

Who is the pilot on this plane?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:18 | 4508998 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Otto Pilot

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509051 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Well if you don't know, maybe yours is goin down.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:11 | 4508943 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

if we have problems hitting DOW 20K, they can nuke a city and we will get there no problem. Krugman was right.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:11 | 4508945 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

War is bullish for markets

Blood ($BLD), Death ($DTH), and Destruction ($DES) all up in mid day trading.  

Common Sense and Decency also saw losses.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508968 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture

 

 

"Common Sense and Decency also saw losses"

Yes, but on low volume.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508984 Wait What
Wait What's picture

nuclear war is bullish for markets

fixed it for ya.

i get the feeling i'd be making money as a trader just by BTFD even as American cities burned under a nuclear mushroom. kinda sick, but while the music is playing... we've gotta dance!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:30 | 4509066 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Just don't get to exhausted dancing between the lines.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:09 | 4509276 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

All of the EMPs from the detonated nuclear warheads would knock out nearly all electrical devices: no internet servers, no computers, no mobile phones, no ETFs, no markets, no faceboob or tweeting. For the survivors I'm not sure what the biggest shock will be: the nukes or the lack of gizmos to satisfy their narcissism.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:38 | 4509409 Cygnus Nigri
Cygnus Nigri's picture

That would be rough on the ole shitcoins....

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508949 irie1029
irie1029's picture

The upbeat is Obama's budget promise of stellar growth.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:13 | 4508958 irie1029
irie1029's picture

Hurry and Short Sanity before it is too late!!!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:13 | 4508960 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

In the grim humor category.

http://www.krmg.com/news/news/local/man-found-decapitated-police-suspect...

Man found decapitated, police suspect suicide Wife found the body of her husband

The incident happened near 46th and Sheridan.

Police say a woman who lives in the home found her husband dead in the garage.

His hands and feet were tied and the body had been decapitated.

Tulsa police told KRMG news the death was due to suicide.


Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:21 | 4509009 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Well you can only cut your own head off once. As opposed to shooting yourself in the back of the head 3 times.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:11 | 4509281 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

Or... As supposed to shooting yourself EIGHT times with a nail gun.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:17 | 4508964 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Complete ridonkulous markets - I saw RoboTrader's mom today & she was Rollin' in a Bentley Arnage.

But seriously, this is multitudes more irrational than 2007's peak batshit crazy.

I'm nearly 5 digits in the red (and that's on a bear put spread) on a broad short position I opened about 12 trading days ago, but NO GUTS NO GLORY...but I will rock this with a drip-drip Taleb style, deep OTM bang-bang patience...

BITCHEZ!!!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:21 | 4509008 Wait What
Wait What's picture

i've been told this is what the Dotcom bubble was like. unexplainable rallies that wouldn't retrace until the game came to a screeching halt. we've got some ways to go before Shiller ratios hit those peaks.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:31 | 4509078 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Looks like it's time for cutbacks.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:23 | 4509028 kito
kito's picture

keep the faith TIS!!! you are inspiring!!! i only hope im with you when there are a few last men standing in this bear bloodbath!!!!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:46 | 4509157 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Thanks. I was a deep 5 digits in the red (1st digit beginning with 8) before my losses were erased and it rained nothing but cheddar in 2008.

And life is short & I am playing with a relatively small portion of the gains gleaned last go 'round.

What else am I going to do? Go long salesforce.com, bitchez?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508965 Kilgore Trout
Kilgore Trout's picture

Fewer ICBMs than expected.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:25 | 4509033 Element
Element's picture

ICBM PMI was suppressed by the polar vortex.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:14 | 4508969 dirtyfiles
dirtyfiles's picture

you have your facken missiles but we have the facken Teflon market

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:14 | 4509296 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

Hmm... Emperor Palpatine threatens to use the Death Star to blow up Earth.

Stocks go to infinity!

 

But seriously would stocks tend to infinity as the duration of Earth's continued existence tends to zero?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:22 | 4508971 Surging Chaos
Surging Chaos's picture

You gotta love these "markets".

Housing sales miss? Stocks reach record highs.

Mortgage apps plunge? Stocks reach record highs.

GDP revised downward? Stocks reach record highs.

Bad jobs report? Stocks reach record highs.

ICBM launched by Russia? Stocks reach record highs.

It doesn't take a financial wizard to know that the "markets" have been replaced with a constant spoon-feeding of money from the Fed. All that matters at this point is how much gets printed. As long as ctrl+P is on, it's gonna be stawks to the moon despite all the shitty news about the economy and the rest of the world.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:39 | 4509117 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

But record auto-loans and student-loans mean the loot is flowing.     As long as loan-loot is pumping through the veins of the economy there's absolutly nothing to be pessimistic about.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 23:10 | 4510327 SDShack
SDShack's picture

It's like I said awhile ago. When the Fed as head of the World Banking Cabal, controls 51% of the bond market, it is game over. THe bond vigilantes are neutralized. The central banks will then control the bond market and the printer. That means the ponzi is self sustaining. It is the only plan that makes sense when you look at it from the twisted mind of a sociopath banker. Once the threshold is reached, it doesn't matter who tries to sell bonds. China dumped bonds and Belgium bought them. Market rallies. Russia will do the same thing. Doesn't matter when you control the bond market and the printer. That has to be their game. Russia fires an ICBM. Market rallies. It's not that the Fed is out of bullets. It's the world is out of bullets to stop the Fed and the World Banking Cabal from cornering the bond market. ZIRP is the new normal and will continue to infinity and beyond. Debt becomes sustainable in this environment. Repukes cave on debt ceiling. 0zer0 proposes a budget with another stimulus paid for by debt. The EU is a failure, but it is EXPANDING to Eastern Europe. China is the first country to get Direct Bidder status at the Fed Window. A great world wide Ponzi. A sociopath bankers wet dream. Pump & dump to fleece the middle class of whatever assets they have left. The world masses become debt slaves (serfs) in the New Feudal World Order. I know it is counter intuitive, but it has to be their plan. You just have to think like a sociopath to see it. Even now, it even messes with my head, but it makes all this bullshit make sense. The window is closing fast.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:15 | 4508973 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

BTFD OR FUCK OFF

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508975 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Because the ICBM launch was likely scheduled months ago and everybody capable of detecting it knew about it in advance...

Nothingburger....

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:34 | 4509100 Element
Element's picture

Yup, if anything this is a very positive market signal, as Russia continues to advance its doomsday hyper weapons in the face of harsh criticism and the possible commencement of WWIII. This exceptional commitment bodes well for future growth in the Russian economy and this should further buoy an expand the the regions 20 years of stellar rise of GDP, consumption and economic activity, and the growth and co-development of the govt can corporate partnership in these vital sectors. If they keep informing the markets in this way we can expect very great things to come of it.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:41 | 4509127 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

General "Buck" Turgidson: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday hyper weapons...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508976 Addicted
Addicted's picture
Ukraine crisis: EU gives Russia 48-hour deadline to return troops to barracks in Crimea

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/ukraine/10674260/Ukrain...

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:22 | 4509016 Debugas
Debugas's picture

sure they did said that....

right after Putin in his  press-conference earlier today recalled the troops to barracks himself

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:16 | 4508985 BadDog
BadDog's picture

Kerry threatens to hit Putins fist with his nose.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:27 | 4509038 GhostInTheMachine
GhostInTheMachine's picture

He's had a lot of practice and a flattened face to prove it.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:17 | 4508990 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Putin is now a technical indicator.

 

Fuck RSI, when Putin launches, go long!!!!

 

FUCK YOU YELLEN ROTTENBOX!!!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:19 | 4509000 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

apparently gold doesn't do much good when the ICBM's start flying.
It did recover however.

This is looking the live a VERY hot war with "all sorts of governing authorities getting bad ideas."
Use of force as a "last resort"?
I thought this was about the whole "little brother" thing.

In any case this rally/sell off made little sense to me today...although fuel cell stocks "moonshot" here. Apparently there is a strong belief that natural gas prices are going to go through the roof here and as a consequence there appears to be an "asset grab" going on.

Dangerous stuff because computers can't calculate "uncertainty."
Obviously as humans we understand "Ukraine" means nothing but risk...but a computer doesn't understand that.

For example "the President has the launch codes"...not "the WOPR."
Hard to tell if President Putin is the "Crazy KGB Colonel" or not...but I disagree with those who say he is acting rationally here.

I think he sees Ukraine as "Kiev Rus"...and not "Ukraine"...and indeed he has said as much.

But of course Russia has always seen "Ukraine" (so defined) as "Kiev Rus."
That's why there are so many bodies buried there.
Tens of millions actually.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:30 | 4509071 magpie
magpie's picture

Ah, yes what a fine script not even to cold war standards...mysterious KGB Colonel Vorodin, keeps launch codes next to vodka bottle, versus CIA drone Soetero, who recently deposed his military top brass...brilliant C movie.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:20 | 4509001 Australian Economist
Australian Economist's picture

Is this the blow off top?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:36 | 4509106 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  Is this the blow off top?

Yup,  same one from three years ago.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:20 | 4509005 Debugas
Debugas's picture

stocks recovered after everybody learned from russian officials that the launch was planned even before Ukrainian crisis

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:20 | 4509006 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

what is there to really say?

 

made up crises to  ramp up markets, terrible data totally ignored, nothing matters anymore, they will ramp it up to record levels no matter what.

 

the only thing that will bring this shitfest down is a bank failure.

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:21 | 4509011 balanced
balanced's picture

Maybe the markets will never collapse, and the banksters will stay in charge indefinitely. I will still put my wealth into PMs because FUCK THEM.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:21 | 4509012 bsdetector
bsdetector's picture

Is the fact that the stock indexes are not allowed to go red in light of any shocking event part of a con game or are we observing something else at work? How many different PPTs are keeping these indexes in the green day in and day out? Derivatives must be involved somehow.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509052 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  How many different PPTs

Why would "they" need a PPT with so MANY pathological above-average people in America who don't even know what a nuclure war is?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:11 | 4509277 bsdetector
bsdetector's picture

The way things are looking it will be a "noclue" war. I am just wondering whether these derivative contracts are making paper wealth on autopilot.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:34 | 4509099 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

"Is the fact that the stock indexes are not allowed to go red in light of any shocking event part of a con game or are we observing something else at work?"

The stock market is anticipating much stronger growth.

 

Bwahahaha.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:22 | 4509014 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The algos thought "ICBM" meant that Cisco and IBM had a merger.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:22 | 4509020 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

the people running them (aka. former Army) are stupid enough to think so.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509061 B2u
B2u's picture

No, IBM (IBM) merged with Citi (C).   

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:23 | 4509024 FightingtheFed
FightingtheFed's picture

I really wish we could just stop talking about news, events and economics like they have anything in the world to do with today’s Federal Reserve pumped up Stock Market.

The Middle Class is being Molested by the degenerate, vulgar maggots running the Federal Reserve system, Corporate Media, and mega Banks. End of Story.

What the fuck will we do it about it?

Please quit talking about Wars, False flags, Jobs reports, PMIs… They are raping us as I speak.. Stealing in broad day light daring you to do anything..

When will we grow tired of being raped by these Maggots?

It’s as if we enjoy it.. Every day we wake up and  act as if today the Economics will matter..

Come on people.

The Fed system must be Eliminated.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:27 | 4509043 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  The Fed system must be Eliminated.

The degenerate, vulgar maggots running the Federal Reserve system, Corporate Media, and mega Banks - who also own all the local, state, and Federal politician - who also happen to be supported by the top 20% - will be getting right on this great idea. 

Looks like you need to find some way to unite the bottom 80% - the losers of the survival-of-the-fittest society - into a revolution.   Good luck!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:24 | 4509029 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

When has war ever been bad for the top 10%?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:26 | 4509035 arnoldsimage
arnoldsimage's picture

i told you over the weekend the dow jones is honey badger. honey badger doesn't GIVE A SHIT about anything. there is no stopping honey badger.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:28 | 4509037 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 

 

This is the latest print I have on the T-10. 

2.700 2.608 2.701 2.603 +0.092 +3.51%  
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:27 | 4509042 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Is this how Communists in Russia live? Where do I sign up, dude?

http://www.blv.ru/

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:29 | 4509062 EtTuEtTu
EtTuEtTu's picture

Perhaps it's time for a BATF....   contest? (think of it as gallows humor/l'humour noir) 

Winner gets a copy of Trading Places and a Franklin Mint commerative souvenir.

My entry:

BATF4HOTA

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:41 | 4509125 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

People pooh poohed me when I said yesterday that we would be making new highs by Wednesday but here we are; bears getting blown the fuck out!

 

Passing 1900 is not even a question at this point, it is a given.  The real questions are will we pass 2000 by the end of Q1 and how many months till the COMP breaks out to new all time highs.  Both are a 100% certainty, it is just a matter of when.  

 

Seriously, there is ZERO chance that this market goes down at this point; Z.E.R.O. its simply not possible.  The only thing that could ever cause the US markets to decline in any sustained way from here would be if we got a president who disbanded the FED and stopped the presses.  Or maybe in a year or two from now when the S&P is trading around 5-6000 we could pull back 40-50% but that would still put us substantially above here and good luck holding shorts through that move.

 

Hell look back at the mid 90s, you could have been short the market in 95/96 arguing that we were overbought and in need of a correction.  Ultimately you were right, 5 years later and 300% higher we pulled back but if you even managed to hold shorts for that period you never got em back, not a single fucking chance of it.  

 

same thing will happen here.  The market will never again in history trade below 1600 so your risk is a couple hundred points down to 1600 reward up several thousand S&P points from here at least, pretty easy bet to make.  

 

Just close your eyes and buy em.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:47 | 4509154 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

I'm gonna buy now and then use the profits to get me a place on Elysium, where the smart-n-savvy people will live.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:58 | 4509472 max2205
max2205's picture

I am thinking the same but 1200 for a 50% drop later from 2400

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:47 | 4509162 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

If people didn't get the hint when we miraculously changed direction at S&P 666 that fateful March day in 2009, then watched as the sucker went up over 1200 points in just five years - nearly a tripling in value - then I don't think they're going to get the hint now.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:06 | 4509262 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  I don't think they're going to get the hint now.

No,  most people on here view the economy and markets as some-sort-of morality play.  

The moral people doing this, the immoral people doing that,   the resolve to stay moral, ...

Some brains don't get the best configurations.   Survival of the fittest, shows up in many ways.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:43 | 4509138 cpnscarlet
cpnscarlet's picture

Here, here!

Can't give you enough greens...My sentiments exactly. This has got to be the screwiest day in the markets since 1987.

It's all one massive fraud. The whole world has gone insane.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:53 | 4509191 h0oS
h0oS's picture

Oddly enough ICBMX was down on the day, go figure...

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 17:59 | 4509220 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Dr. StrangeMarket. It's after our precious bodily fluids.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:05 | 4509254 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

I'm sorry to be such a noob, but could some kind soul tell me what 'BFTATH' means?

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:17 | 4509309 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Buy the fucking all time high

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:22 | 4509340 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

Thank you. I wasn't up to date with my Zero Hedge acronyms. I was trying to infer the meaning from the context but no dice. These posts will make a lot more sense now.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:32 | 4509378 RaceToTheBottom
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Until the market drops 50% it is just playing around.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:33 | 4509384 chump666
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Vlad is now underwriting the market.

What could go wrong?

hahahahahaha

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:42 | 4509422 elwind45
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Shorts got off cheap

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 18:47 | 4509436 elwind45
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Buy at the sound of cannon sell on sound of bugle

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:04 | 4509499 yogibear
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Russia knows they have insane liberals at the helm of the US.

The politicians in Washington are more concerned about gay marriage and getting high off of pot.

Decreasing the military and spending money on social programs have the highest priority.

Time for China and Russia to take whatever they want, in the mean time the US can get all drugged up and dressed up in drag to express the new US,

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:17 | 4509544 JuliaS
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The Fed's printing 86 000 000 worth of ICBM's a month and that is the only thing propelling this market. It's printing enough money to contain 172 Fukushima's (compared to how much was spent on it initially). Academically speaking, every nuclear reactor in the world could go into meltdown an the Fed would have it all under control in as little as 2.5 months...

Nothing to worry about! Fed's on the case!

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:25 | 4509560 medium giraffe
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Whu... Wha.... ICBM?

 

Fuck.  Glad I'm drunk.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 19:43 | 4509641 dimitar
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 20:16 | 4509802 laomei
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This is what the cold war was like wasn't it? Russia moves around some troops... america panics.  Russia does a thing that is entirely within reason given a circumstance, america panics.  Russia tests a missile or moves a ship... america panics.  America does a conveniently-timed aggressive drill and calls it "pre-scheduled", tests weapons aimed directly at Russia, publically talks about how they will go to war over everything, laughs about nukes and how they will totally use them.... and if Russia does or says anything in response.... america panics.  What a bunch of fucking girls.

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 22:50 | 4510277 chindit13
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Just checking up on Puti’s background, and I found this surprising factoid:

“Vladmir Putin earned his BA in International Showmanship from the Pyongyang School of the Performing Arts, where he was named the Kim Jong il Dear One Scholar.”

I didn’t know that either, but it certainly makes sense now.

Seemingly lost amongst all the praise for his manly actions and the multiple masturbatory orgasms achieved by posters such as the love-struck Freddie, as they gawk at photos of a bareback-riding, bareback and botox'd Puti, is that it is quite likely Putin is batshit crazy.  Well, unless we are to join the bandwagon of ZH posters who believe insinuating nuclear Armageddon is a manly man thing and a chess Grandmaster's move, we might begin to entertain the possibility of mental instability on the part of Putin.

 

Tue, 03/04/2014 - 23:52 | 4510433 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Funny you should say that--on the way home from work I listened to NPR interviewing someone who called Putin "unhinged" because he had these crazy ideas about the US fomenting revolt in the Ukraine.  I thought it was an ominous bit of MSM rhetoric, reading MSM as propaganda organ.  I guess  you're on the same program.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 00:53 | 4510590 Flakmeister
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Blaming the US for the incompetent bunch of kleptocrats he was backing is about the only thing he can say...

It should take more than a tiny shove to topple the supposed Crown Jewel of the FSU, not to mention the home of the Black Sea Fleet...

The $5 billion over 23 years is peanuts, that is 100 days of gas revenue from the Ukr pipelines.... pittances in the grand scheme of things...

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 01:53 | 4510692 Johnny Cocknballs
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The man can reasonably be accused of many things, being crazy is not amongst them.

So why are you so bothered by the relative praise Putin gets vis a vis Obama, who is a narcissistic puppet controlled by banks and zionists and war profiteers?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 02:13 | 4510732 chindit13
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If you don't like crazy then perhaps you'll accept childish?  Or are you one of those who think it's manly to choose today of all days to test fire a nuke?  Or maybe little guy problem?  Do you think the Turks are comfortable that the guy keeps an image of Nicholas I in his office?  Is it possible that his seeming affection for that dead Tsar is indicative of his long range plans?

As for Obama, I don't recall ever uttering a word of praise for him.  Can you understand the concept of seeing both sides as undeserving of either praise or respect, or do you insist everyone must choose from (old style) Red or Blue?  Whatever happened to a pox on both your houses?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 01:51 | 4510688 Johnny Cocknballs
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"The crisis in the Ukraine is a very serious matter that pits the United States against Russia. While we don’t know how this crisis will end, we certainly know how it started and who has guided it to this dangerous point.  In order to grasp what is really going on in Kiev, we need to understand who is pulling the strings in the so-called EuroMaidan protests and who has been appointed to head the unelected provisional government of the Ukraine. ..."
Christopher Bollyn - Understanding the Crisis in Ukraine
Wed, 03/05/2014 - 02:18 | 4510737 chindit13
chindit13's picture

I see you subscribe to the school of thought that nobody anywhere in the world ever has an original thought or a personal desire, and must rely on a select group of uber clever folks who habituate Langley, Foggy Bottom or Ft Mead to know what to think and how to act.  Makes the world really simple, no doubt.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 06:16 | 4510950 viator
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B TFWIII

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