UN Envoy Kidnapped In Crimea... Or Not

Tyler Durden's picture


Just Bloomberg headlines for now which don't mesh well with the whole "detente" narrative, supposedly unleashed by Putin's conference yesterday in which he was said to "blink", which he didn't but algo-driven stocks are convinced he did and algos are always right:


And the "confirmation":


From Reuters:

Armed men seized Robert Serry, a special representative of U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon in Ukraine's Crimea region on Wednesday, Ukraine's Foreign Ministry said.


Russian forces have taken control of Crimea in southern Ukraine. Serry was held in the region's main city, Simferopol, a ministry spokeswoman said.

It is certainly not clear who the kidnappers were. So just another provocation, simple lie, or for once, the truth?  We hope to find out soon.

* * *

Update: and now we know the answer - lie and borderline provocation, once again by the Ukraine foreign ministry


Is it indeed the Ukraine's strategy to keep pushing with piece meal provocations for a hot war until Russia finally accepts the challenge?

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Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:48 | 4512164 pods
pods's picture

Well well well, that is fortuitous for the West.


Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:49 | 4512174 magpie
magpie's picture

Always count on the usual suspects reaching new lows.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:51 | 4512184 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Kidnapping an envoy will not sustain a rally. A couple ICBM firing sounds more like it

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:52 | 4512189 fonestar
fonestar's picture

So when are the Greeks going to grow some balls?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:57 | 4512208 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

When MtGox reopens

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 14:12 | 4512596 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

I was extremely pleased until I realized the name started with an "S", not a "K"... 

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:56 | 4512211 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The same could be said for the citizens of the U.S.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:21 | 4512327 john39
john39's picture

ignorance is the national passtime.  until americans wake up and realize that the MSM is designed to keep them in the dark about anything important, not much is going to change.  Sadly, this would require them to get off their asses, and proactively learn from diverse sources of information.  what are the odds?  On the brightside I guess, real change can result from a small minority waking up and influencing the herd (a fact which the shadow masters have exploited for a long time).

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:57 | 4512217 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Hungry, big fella?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:01 | 4512232 verbot
verbot's picture

Pre mining the next big cryptographic monies for Greece  to use are we fonestar.?Why not defuse this ww3 chachaboom with bitbombs? Virtually devastating yet easy to move around. Jus teasing.Fone. Nice to see do chen rolling bearing make the money back so i wont troll.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:16 | 4512263 verbot
verbot's picture

Got to shill for usa watchdog again.Good episode. Also MK showed off Etherium the newest cryptographic monies service ._ that is all. Besides ww3 in the russian theater, oops feint to Syria ,no move  to obvious domestic  sqabble,no fient to._._._hmmm

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:16 | 4512294 superflex
superflex's picture

I'm Greek and I guarantee my balls are bigger than your bit brain.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 14:15 | 4512608 123dobryden
123dobryden's picture

so much foreign subsidies, it had to show somewhere :)

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:58 | 4512206 magpie
magpie's picture

I am just wondering how long the new Ukrainian revolutionary regime can maintain its uh credibility and new-found world standing...MSM, EU and the USA will believe them no matter what.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:34 | 4512389 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:49 | 4512176 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

"All your Envoy are belong to us!"

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:06 | 4512250 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Those EU monsters in Kiev will probably kidnap a UN envoy themselves and kill him brutally and blame the Russians.

Hell, they shot their own protestors to take power, so this sure as hell is not out of bounds.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:32 | 4512378 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Maybe we can trade Kerry for Serry 'because a horse in the barn is worth two in the bush.'  Whinning!

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 14:25 | 4512664 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name

no weight

no force

just feces

just face


Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:51 | 4512183 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Correct.  Certain information will be kept from the public.

Same as it ever was.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:19 | 4512308 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Zio-nazi propaganda counterstrike due to the latest release of an intercepted phone-bomb... Well, well, at least the sheep have something else to talk about now.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:50 | 4512165 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Welcome to Crimea! Now place the fuckin bag on your head....JUST KIDDING! We are new governement installed by your NATO friends. 

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:49 | 4512173 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Many things will now happen as guilty parties try to cover their tracks.

< meh >  Same as it ever was...

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:52 | 4512181 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You have to hand it to the alphabet agencies. They know how to stir the pot and twist things for public consumption. 

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:18 | 4512304 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  They know how to stir the pot and twist things for public consumption. 

It's tough to admit, but the smart-n-savvy people are running things and - being smart-n-savvy - deserve to run things.

Survival of the fittest, bitchez!

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:37 | 4512413 KickIce
KickIce's picture

They're corrupt, dishonest manipulative thieves that would sell their soul to the devil.  Without these disgusting traits would have been out of business in 2008 if not well before.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:41 | 4512434 spellbound
spellbound's picture

"It's tough to admit, but the smart-n-savvy people are running things and - being smart-n-savvy - deserve to run things."

When you realise that free will does not exist and we function in a deterministic universe, the notion of "deserving" evaporates like the morning fog. Just be aware that the ones who you say are smart and deserve their lofty position, are looking at you as this season's harvest. Do you "deserve" to be dinner?!?!?!

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:57 | 4512524 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  Do you "deserve" to be dinner

In a survival-of-the-fittest society you are either a dumbass (food for the sociopaths) or a sociopath feasting on the dumbasses.

The question the people on here have to answer is:   how many years have you fantasized about having a survival-of-the-fittest society and - now that we've got one - are confused about suddenly realizing you're just food for the sociopaths.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:51 | 4512186 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Not any more.  US Dep. Secretary says Serry was threatened, not kidnapped.  Stocks just loving this news.  This is fun isn't it?

Someone is REALLY afraid of letting the USD/JPY/SPY get that other shade of green today.  I wonder why?  We wouldn't want to misplace our overconfidence now would we?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:54 | 4512198 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

the West?

they're not doing anything.
so it would appear aren't the Russians.

President Putin is going to have to start sending in more troops to "get control" of the situation...further inflaming the situation.

This is Ukrainian territory assholes...either put the Ukrainians back in charge or pay for it with your life.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:20 | 4512321 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Shouldn't you be in Syria or something...?

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:57 | 4512215 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

I predict Putin will win this game and Obama will lose.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:09 | 4512261 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re: I predict Putin will win this game and Obama will lose.

I predict the top 10% will win and the dumbasses who love slow-motion eagles and flags will lose.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:11 | 4512268 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Common people will lose, as usual - that's an easy prediction to make.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:58 | 4512532 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

You gotta love common people

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:14 | 4512285 Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

If Putin was not on the same page as Obama and against the NWO, don't you think he'd have an "elimination list" of NWO leaders he'd be busy rubbing out.

The fix is in.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:58 | 4512216 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

U.N. sending "observers" to Crimea?

Talk about shoving a stick in a hornets nest.

It's almost like they're doing it on purpose, oh wait...

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:00 | 4512220 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

"Armed men seized Robert Serry(a bought and paid for shill working on behalf of George Soros the one who just lost his stake in that $5 billion investment), a special representative of U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon (who has blood on his hands also working for George Soros the one who just lost his stake in that $5 billion investment)in Ukraine's Crimea region on Wednesday, Ukraine's Foreign Ministry said".

Fixed it!

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:03 | 4512243 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Some Crimean group should perform and quick trial and hang him.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 12:59 | 4512222 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture



John Baird.  Please, please, please.



Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:04 | 4512235 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

The Ukraine foreign ministry spoke to soon, they did not had him yet.

Ransom 35 billion US.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:08 | 4512258 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

Ah, just launch the nukes already.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:08 | 4512260 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

16.55 The UN has immediately denied the reports that the UN's special representative to Ukraine was seized. He was apparently threatened by gunmen.

Question is one of whose gunmen.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:13 | 4512275 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

It is clear that the "Euromaidan" colorless revolution part deux is imploding by the hour.

Ukraine could turn into Obama's Bay of Pigs, but it is up to Team-FSB/RT to push that narrative. Good luck with that comrades.

Poland is the foil that compels NATO to move "something" into Ukraine.  The same Catholics that made Solidarity the nail in USSR's coffin.

Even if it is just a few arm-chair generals. It won't be columns of tanks, but Europe has to show some resolve.  I suspect the same wankers from the Yugoslav Wars.  The drone activity over the region must be ramping up.

The only way to breath life into the Kiev faction is it move in NATO observers/cadre at the request of the West's new muppets to shore-up the "Free Syrian (strike that) Ukrainian Army."

And to think, Ukrainian ultra-nationalists are really pleading for Western bankers to save their day?  A true nationalist would default and tell Europe to freeze next Winter.

Should have stayed in Odesa playing canasta.


Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:14 | 4512277 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

John McCain appears to be almost completely unhinged.

Pressing Hagel in a CONgressional hearing about what the Pentagon knew about Russia moving troops into Crimea; face twitching, getting all scrunched up, hunching his shoulders, jerking the lapels on his suit to straighten it.

What a circus, what theater, send McCain to the local Shakespeare company, STAT!

And John, WTF would the U.S. do if they knew everything?  Squat.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:13 | 4512279 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

When it looked like they could get twenty-five years to life in prison just for skimming a casino, sick or no fuckin' sick you knew people were going to get clipped. [/Nicky Santoro]

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:22 | 4512317 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

CNN reporting right now that Serry is being held against his will in a Cafe along with an ITN journalist as in Tweet above.

Told you the CNN crew was going to be "on top" of this; the anchorette comparing it to O.J. Simpson being accused of kidnapping holding someone in a hotel room.

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:22 | 4512334 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Against his will, he wanted to be held in a nudie bar.


Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:31 | 4512320 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

kid napped ya say?


is it baron ness ash ton

the bit of zionist rough

the rothschild dickless pointman bagman.

the old blairite friend.

child wrangling whore very populat with tory and labour  for her un kid collection operation mainly for sport and satanic blood ritual.



i will get my coat

Wed, 03/05/2014 - 13:57 | 4512522 Beard of Zeus
Beard of Zeus's picture

+1 Fast Show reference

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