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Crimea May (Or May Not) Be Part Of Russia As Of This Moment

Tyler Durden's picture


Moments ago, Reuters blasted the following headline:


On the surface, this would mean that the Russian annexation of the Crimea if complete (and East Ukraine is coming). Especially when one considers that earlier Crimea also said it could adopt the Russian rouble as its currency and "nationalise" state property as part of plans to join the Russian Federation, a regional official was quoted as saying on Thursday.

The only problem as we reported earlier is that Kiev opened a criminal investigation against Crimean Prime Minister Sergei Askyonov, who was appointed by the region's parliament last week. The Ukrainian government does not recognise his authority or that of the parliament. In other words, Kiev will not respect the Crimea's popular choice, even if it is fully supported by Putin, which means that a showdown, one in which Russia proclaims it is defending the democracy of the Crimea against the Kiev government, is now almost inevitable.

Meanwhile, RT has decided to already add the region to Russian territory:

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Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:51 | 4516271 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

da da da da dahhhh, i'm lovin it.....

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:54 | 4516289 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Thanks now i'm having a Big Mac Attack.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:59 | 4516303 superflex
superflex's picture

I love how the Ukrainian puppet government calls the Crimean puppet government illegitimate.

Fucking hypocrites.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:07 | 4516328 The Count
The Count's picture

What about our 2 party puppet system?

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:14 | 4516362 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Booyeah, PMs vertical!  Did we just send fighter jets to Poland? http://investmentwatchblog.com/u-s-sends-fighter-jets-to-poland-as-nato-...

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:21 | 4516391 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Glad I bought yesterday:-)

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:30 | 4516442 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Yeah, but what does Cramer think?


Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:48 | 4516525 Independent
Independent's picture

Nato is going to act like Mr Tough guy expecting Putin to Fold, this is only poking the Bear in the Eye, they are screwing with the wrong person.  I think their psychological profile of Putin is way off.  Messing with the wrong guy.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 13:29 | 4517349 zaphod
zaphod's picture

California may or may not be part of Mexico at this moment.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:47 | 4516521 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

Russian success, all without firing a shot.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:50 | 4516529 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

Meanwhile an impotent President and administration continues to fumble around not knowing what to do when upstaged by Putin  I meant to say fellow communist.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:51 | 4516535 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

If Hillary is so smart and insightful why didn't she see this coming?  Palin did and she didn't have the resources, intel, and staff Hillary had to keep an eye on this.  Must be Hillary's new glasses interfered with her vision.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:32 | 4516741 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Thirty years ago the USSR basically controlled the entire Black Sea coast except for Turkey...

Fastforward to 2014, Putin's puppet in the Ukraine flees like a coward at the first sign of trouble. The Ukrainian economy is a basket case from 20+ years of incompetent kleptocracy...

Putin then clumsily handles some "military exercises", backs off when the Russian market crashes (hitting him and his oligarchs hard)...

The Crimea now apparently "secedes" from the Ukraine to join Russia leavng a region almost wholly depending on the Ukraine for food imports and the like... 

All this to "secure" Sevastopol, the historic home of the Russian Black Sea Fleet since the time of Cathrine the Great... A place that was never under threat of being lost in the first place... 

Yeah, you have a bizarre definition of success....


Psst.. Didn't you see the ZH clip showing Russians soldiers firing warning shots?? 

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:45 | 4516825 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

Sheeeees Baaaaacck

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 12:22 | 4517014 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

And providing the most objective top-down commentary to be found here...

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 13:41 | 4517418 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

Thats a joke - I get  it

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:13 | 4516329 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

The hypocrite meter is off the chart this week.


"Your non violent power grab is illegitimate, and is nothing like our violent power grab. Now kiss my feet."


 "We will not recognize the legitimacy of a Crimean referendum” declared the unelected president of Ukraine.


Following the Crimean referendum Putin can point out that the political bodies in Crimea are all elected under a free and democratic process and are therefore legitimate, meanwhile the officials in Kiev…


Well they seized power in a violent coup de tat, and are obviously criminals by any sensible measure.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:20 | 4516387 Panem et Circus
Panem et Circus's picture

I'm no fan of Obama/Merkel, but I wouldn't exactly call bringing in troops "non-violent".

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:24 | 4516396 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

What's the death toll?


71 v's 0

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:43 | 4516504 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

I bet you that Obama/Kerry must be dreaming of sending their bombing drones to East Ukraines. These bastards enjoy killing inocent civilians. They can't wait to open another war field.  

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:09 | 4516612 laomei
laomei's picture

Russia keeps ~25,000 troops in Crimean bases as it is.  No troops were "brought in", troops were simply sent out of the bases, and anything brought in from elsewhere was within the limits of the agreements.  Which is why, the Russian parliament voted for authorization to send in the military, which would be MORE troops.  There were reports of border crossings being secured and all that, but I failed to see a single report of borders being crossed en mass.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:19 | 4516382 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

It is remarkable. For once I feel good about indifference.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:45 | 4516823 BearClaw
BearClaw's picture

Punch & Judy...

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 13:47 | 4517450 silvermail
silvermail's picture

"I love how the Ukrainian puppet government calls the Crimean puppet government illegitimate.

Fucking hypocrites."

Now, the Crimean government together with the people to remain faithful to the Constitution and the President of Ukraine, should declare:
Ukraine - that's us! In Kiev and the west of the country - it is not Ukraine. In Kiev - it rebels and impostors. And as Ukraine, we will put things in Kiev constitutional order. All the rebels and impostors will be arrested and prosecuted. We will sent to Kiev, our real Ukraine army to suppress the rebellion and to punish those responsible.

Any citizen and officer who executes orders criminal rebels who declared himself ministers, deputies , prosecutors and presidents, will now be an accomplice of these criminals. We will arrest any accomplice of these criminals immediately. Because we - the legitimate authority of Ukraine. We declare a regime martial law. And we begin the operation to restore constitutional order in the entire territory of Ukraine !".

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:55 | 4516292 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

give me 20 across the board on putin.....

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:09 | 4516338 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Kerry leading the charge of the Lightweight Brigade.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:21 | 4516389 Panem et Circus
Panem et Circus's picture

Plus One for historical reference, and plus another for geographical reference!

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:56 | 4516552 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

And +1 for predicting the outcome.


Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:20 | 4516385 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

I was thinking ha ha ha ha ha, none the less funny shit! This man Putin is making us look so much like shit I'm sorry to say that all we can do is laugh, albeit lunatic laughter from such a ludacris spectacle!

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:23 | 4516405 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:51 | 4516272 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

what is hysterical is how the market pretended to care about this for 1 day.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 13:51 | 4517472 silvermail
silvermail's picture

"what is hysterical is how the market pretended to care about this for 1 day."

By the way, Russia bought for next to nothing all stock shares of Russian monopolies in Ukraine, when prices have collapsed.
It was a new Russian greetings for west banksters from Mr. Putin. LOL

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:52 | 4516277 ptoemmes
Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:08 | 4516337 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

 Nobodys paying attention to the lonely zero anymore. this is just the obligatory boiler plate sanction BS for "some"body.

As ZerO and the EurO's cobble together another closed door meeting to aSSertain just WTF is going on here...

Maybe the Russians could pull an Israeli mind fuck and just call all the Crimea a "settlement"

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:15 | 4516369 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Another board member made a good point the other night.  His thesis is that Obama is basically mentally ill and his "handlers" are just there to enable him.  I think that's a fair assessment.  Good as any others I've heard.  If true, the FSA might be fooled, but other world leaders would not be.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:20 | 4516386 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Mentally ill - likely. The last one was retarded. Not sure which mental condition is more detrimental to a world leader, and the world.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:48 | 4516523 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

It's time to quit lying to ourselves and admit we have a mentally ill president.

He suffers from delusions of grandeur - believing that all he has to do is wave his hand and it is now reality. King Canute is his role model.

This is the result of his pathological lying - he lies about anything and everything - telling the world whatever he wants it to believe regardless of the reality surrounding his pronouncements. He is increasingly disconnected from reality.

He is kept afloat by a tight circle of enablers who cover for him and spin his lies. But that is changing.

I am making this statement not to be mean, but rather because it is time to seriously consider that Barack Obama is not mentally healthy. I am saying this because he is continuing to run farther and farther away from reality in his actions, and believes that whatever he says – becomes the made-over reality that exists only in his mind.

Take his statement that "100-million" people have signed up for ObamaCare - that's nearly 1/3 of the entire 315-million person population of the US. It is a number that prima fascia is irrational.

But Obama stated it as a fact anyway to his Obamabots in Organizing for America. They showed their lack of rational relationship by accepting the number - regardless of its obvious irrational ability to be true. As an aside, it shows that these people are brain-dead, and just accept that whatever Obama says is the truth - with no rational vetting whatsoever.

That's truly scary.

But scarier still is this: NO ONE in the WH dared correct him. No statement came out saying so much as issuing the typical lame excuse that he "misspoke." Nothing. The WH enablers fell silent (as did the Looney Tunes Left MSM).


This is what makes their silence so scary: It means that the WH aides are at a point where they so fear the mad king's wrath that they will abandon reality for his irrational fantasies. They will no longer be a wall of reality constraining his thinking to the Real World.

In short, they are no longer Gatekeepers, but rather like “Alice in Wonderland,” they are the cards painting the roses red for the insane Queen of Hearts.

"She wanted white - then said what a fright, so now she's wants them red instead; we're painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red - we can't say no we won't, because if we don't, she'll want our heads instead! So we're painting the roses red . . ."

I realize that take from Alice in Wonderland goes over the heads - or should I say through the air-heads - of the Obamabots. But what do you expect from people who passively accept 100-million people being signed up for ObamaCare?

That is mental disconnect. That is insanity. That is Barack Obama.

Don't apologize for thinking him ill; he is ill.

And this latest exercise in waving his hand, and thinking that reality magically changes when he does, shows Barack Obama is disconnected from reality, and must be removed from office before his mental illness drives him to even more desperate, irrational thinking - and even more dangerous, irrational actions.


credit: MarsinScorpio


Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:16 | 4516613 Element
Element's picture



"But Obama stated it as a fact anyway to his Obamabots in Organizing for America. They showed their lack of rational relationship by accepting the number - regardless of its obvious irrational ability to be true. As an aside, it shows that these people are brain-dead, and just accept that whatever Obama says is the truth - with no rational vetting whatsoever."

What is going on is the neocons have been attacking all forms of whistle-blowing, dissent and thus free-speech itself is politicized, plus of late neocons are attacking all forms of skepticism, to try and paint it as an act of evil:


So they've imposed rule-by-decree, and now rule-by-fear, and that's why no one is speaking up, they're all too scared to show any sign that they can think independently, or that they might.


"In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 19:05 | 4519096 ptolemy_newit
ptolemy_newit's picture

You can vote for Clinton next

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:52 | 4516278 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Well thats it, problem solved, that was easy.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:23 | 4516400 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Not yet (or it's short form n'yet). Consider Reutschilders headline as just another propaganda outcry...

Unlike certain governments that let their sheep's silent voice be heard during (s)elections once in a while, the people of Crimea will decide about the political future of their Republic by themselves, in a referendum about to take place on the 16th of March.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:52 | 4516281 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

So "the people" have spoken through their "representatives", and now it is "legitimate", as the West surely will acknowledge, being the arbiters of all that is "legitimate"...

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:08 | 4516335 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I'd feel better if there was an actual popular vote in support of the measure. Do the Crimeans trust their "representatives" any more than anyone else (with at least two functioning brain cells)? That said, the Axis of Evil is getting its self righteous ass handed to it politically.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:35 | 4516470 overexposed
overexposed's picture

The vote is still scheduled for March 16th, that hasn't changed as of yet.

Given time, anything's possible of course.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 11:12 | 4516534 Element
Element's picture

I said a couple of days ago Washington was going to look weaker and weaker, and Europe was going to look feeble and nervous. They tried, they lost, and now all of Ukraine will pay the heavy price due to a primarily foreign-funded pro-EU (debt-empire) rabble and armed provocateurs. Brussels and Washington deserve harsh condemnation for their roles in producing this perilous abominable imbroglio.

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:53 | 4516282 youngman
youngman's picture

Interesting idea..wonder if California can vote to become Mexico..or Texas its own country..blue vs red states...could get interesting...

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:46 | 4516514 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

Of course California and Texas can vote to secede, but like the last time states voted to leave, the only thing that matters is who has the most guns and people to use them effectively. 

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 09:53 | 4516285 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

The West really screwed the pooch on this one..

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:21 | 4516390 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture


Copulating with the canine, what a novel modernday method of managing foreign policy...


Thu, 03/06/2014 - 10:04 | 4516286 Max Damage
Max Damage's picture

SO the criminals who took Kiev by force launch a criminal investigation against someone who is actually representing what the people want. These new guys got into the USA psycopaths way of thinking fast, didn't they?

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