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Caption Contest: Napoleon Complex Edition

Tyler Durden's picture


Hiding behind the big boys (literally) appears to be the m.o. of France's President Hollande who declared today that "there will be no referendum in Crimea without Ukraine's agreement," and added that it is a necessity for Russia to "accept the solution." We suspect Vladimir Putin will have something to say about that but who is going to argue with Hollande given the following image...



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Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:57 | 4522169 VD
VD's picture


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:01 | 4522185 Manthong
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“And eef you do not cooperate, I weel geefe you uppercut straight to the cajones!”

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:05 | 4522214 Looney
Looney's picture

Two and a half men... ;-)


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:20 | 4522592 theXman
theXman's picture

Well, Putin is not exactly Yao Ming either. In fact, I'm not sure who is taller between those two.

In the realm of politics, physical statue does not matter that much. Deng Xiaoping was probably the shortest strong man ever, not even 5-foot. But he wielded power like a 10-foot giant.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:05 | 4523260 BorisTheBlade
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It's all about the character at the end of the day. Klitschko is a joke as a politician despite his height.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:25 | 4522900 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

:-)  Kermit the Fucking Frog jumped to mind.....

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:10 | 4522237 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

Looks like vikings vs. Frenchmen, the sequel.  All Hollande needs to do is give them a pile of treasure and some really nice land to call their own.  Oh, wait...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:57 | 4522171 666
666's picture

Compare that to Obummer with Pelosi and Reid by his side.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:58 | 4522173 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It;s just one small penis after the next over there...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:58 | 4522175 tmosley
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But it was totally legitimate for Kosovo to declare independence.

I think the world has finally awoken to the realization that the emperor is naked.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:33 | 4522368 Temedar
Temedar's picture

Last time I checked there wasn't an independence option in the Crimean "referendum"

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:56 | 4522485 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Check again, maybe there's a mention of a USSA military base somewhere in the blueprints.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:59 | 4522177 Joe A
Joe A's picture

And how exactly does he think he will enforce that? By farting in their general direction?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:09 | 4522179 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

Matchup...Fedor Emelianenko  Vladmir Putin  Dmitry Rogozin against those eu tough guys

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:51 | 4522451 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I think Fedor would break Klitschko's arm in two, if he doesn't manage to rip it clean off.  After absorbing some stiff jabs, of course!

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:02 | 4522802 Quantum Nucleonics
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Eh, wasn't Klitschko's boxing nickname, Dr. Ironfist?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:59 | 4522180 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Those guys look like they could do some serious farting in Putin's general direction.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:09 | 4522230 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Holy shit! Where have you been. We thought you passed on due to self immolation.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:17 | 4522277 McMolotov
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If I were determined to off myself, I'd find a way to suffocate while motor-boating Scarlett Johansson.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:28 | 4522343 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Well it's good to see you posting again.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:39 | 4522701 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

It would seem she might have obliged you. Apparently in real life she was luring men into a van.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:40 | 4522702 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Double naughty.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:12 | 4522552 ugmug
ugmug's picture

My teleprompter is bigger than yours!

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 14:59 | 4522181 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

cuz taller guys are better leaderz

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:01 | 4522196 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Actually when taller guys fart its in the shorter guys face. Much more personal than general direction. 

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:04 | 4522212 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"you got me. my mouf was open"

Eddie murphy raw

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:13 | 4522205 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Eh not really, but you definitely can't take someone serious when your ball bag rests on their forehead.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:00 | 4522186 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

"there will be no referendum in Crimea without Ukraine's agreement," and added that it is a necessity for Russia to "accept the solution."

...Otherwise my head will be on a pike once the French economy collapses.

Vive La France!


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:01 | 4522197 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

slime ballz cum in all sizes

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:02 | 4522200 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:09 | 4522232 Hulk
Hulk's picture

He should hang out with Robert Reich !!!

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:03 | 4522516 machineh
machineh's picture

Does Hollande look like Big Government to you?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:47 | 4522429 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Whatever you do don't walk on my blue suede shoes, Putin! 

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:00 | 4522502 optimator
optimator's picture

good thing I didn't have a drink in my hand when that photo came up!!

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:43 | 4522727 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

The true measurement of a man is from the chin to the top of his head. In this respect, the prize fighter is a midget.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:20 | 4522874 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Who the hell down arrowed WB7 on this picture?  Don't tell me we actually have any French out there that actually respect this diminutive piece of shit?

France pardon parlez anglaise... If I were you I would seriously leave the pack on this one as those Russian ICBMs are well within your "sweet spot" for making the Champs Elysees and Eiffel Tower in need of a "makeover".

Even De Gaulle would have been smart enough to call President Remus what he is to his face in public!

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:36 | 4523349 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Not just Hollande, but also...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:39 | 4523361 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Hey William,

I didn't know he also had a photo taken without his shoes on.

By the way how about doing it the other way round. You know, with Hollande being the bigger man.


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:50 | 4523391 RaceToTheBottom
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"The Crimea!!! The Crimea!!!!"

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:02 | 4522203 blindman
blindman's picture

BBC Now Admits: Armed Nazis Led “Revolution” in Kiev, Ukraine
By Tony Cartalucci
Global Research, March 07, 2014
"..Just as the West has done in Afghanistan, where it used sectarian extremists and terrorists to wage a proxy war against the Soviet Union in the 1980?s, only to end up turning on their “allies” from 2001 onward – the West will use the Neo-Nazis of Kiev only for as long as absolutely necessary before turning on them and dumping them. The BBC’s short piece exposing the repugnant nature of the forces that in fact led the so-called “Euromaidan” uprising is perhaps the first step toward achieving this goal." ..t.c.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:06 | 4522218 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Which one of you assholes want to cum in my mouth first?  Huh?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:22 | 4522297 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Whoa whoa whoa..... that's crossing the red line pal. This isn't the SEC. Take your midget tranny porn elsewhere.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:23 | 4522309 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

LOL Rough crowd today!  It was supposed to be a caption, not an offer!  Maybe I should have put quotes around it.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:07 | 4522224 baja canada
baja canada's picture

Cossacks vs. klootzaks.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:09 | 4522227 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

how did this Klitshko guy become so important all of a sudden, seems a very quick trip from boxing to national hero/global statesman etc...  ?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:10 | 4522240 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:00 | 4522505 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Yeah, well, you date Hayden Panettierre and things just start happening.  Next thing you know you are involved in a coup d'etat, and being teargassed, ultimately to be betrayed by your 'buddies' who insist you will get your chance at power later, but for now, Yatsenyiuk is in charge

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:10 | 4522238 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Jesus, what is Hollande 4' 10" or something? Klitsko is 18" taller than him.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:20 | 4522239 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hollande: The advantadge of being short is that I never wear out my knees. The disadvantadge is I'm always having conversations eyes to eye.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:11 | 4522243 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Yeah? Well, mine is bigger.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:16 | 4522266 ebworthen
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"Vahtever you say, don't mention Waterloo to Hollande."

"You mean de ABBA song?"

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:18 | 4522281 GooseShtepping Moron
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Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:20 | 4522294 Reference Variable
Reference Variable's picture

Ever been around a guy that could literally tear your head from your body?

I don't care what the decorum it is deeply unsettling.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:22 | 4522303 janus
janus's picture

i would just love to see some video of that lil fella on his vespa.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:26 | 4522324 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

What, there will be no Referendum in Greece without EU approval ?

Any wrong decision in an Irish Referendum will require a Re-Run ?


Fri, 03/07/2014 - 23:33 | 4524044 Jorgen
Jorgen's picture

What, there will be no Referendum in Greece without EU approval ?

Any wrong decision in an Irish Referendum will require a Re-Run ?

So, it makes EU an equivalent of a roach motel...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:27 | 4522336 adonisdemilo
adonisdemilo's picture

Hollande getting wise now, he's wearing a white shirt so he won't need to carry a flag around with him.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:29 | 4522347 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

to be fair ... kilitchencko is a massive dude ...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:35 | 4522379 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

So that hot french actress bimbo really fucked the scrawny loser in the middle?

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:58 | 4522495 optimator
optimator's picture

She'd wear  you down too.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:37 | 4522384 The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

Hey Guys, Lift me up Here I can't See the Parade....

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:39 | 4522393 blindman
blindman's picture

07 MARCH 2014
To Understand the News, Follow the Money. To Follow the Money, Follow the Economic Hitmen

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:44 | 4522411 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Hey, david and TWO Goliaths! Luckily Julie is much smaller!

Ya know the old saying : those who live on Mars n those who live on Venus.

Maybe Julie has some good ideas on referendums...and having your cake while you eat it! 

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:44 | 4522415 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

France and sanctions against Russia;

"Freezing a contract to deliver 2 Mistral helicopters worth 1.2 bn euros to Russia, will not be considered." Laurent Fabius. (Vedomosti).

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:57 | 4522462 hotrod
hotrod's picture
  • Oh, a wise guy, eh?  "Spread out" or I'll murder ya! You nitwits! "What's the big idea" they're gonna think we are 3 stooges.
Fri, 03/07/2014 - 15:55 | 4522480 janus
janus's picture

oh, almost's some captions:

"will o' the wimp"

"the mouse that bored"

"size 32 in a gaul"

"no roller coasters for you, wee one"

"will that be a booster-chair or a high-seat?"

"too big for midgit tossing, too small for oompa-loompin.  nothing is fair for hollande"

"he looks up to sarkozy in more ways than one"

putin to hollande: "now stand up and say that to me!"

"you can only stack shit so high"

"on the bright side, he never outgrew any of his clothes"

"the pygmy apocalypse"

i guess that'll do for now...y'all have a great weekend...and don't go startin no world wars without me.

we all sit here stranded/

though we do our best to deny it,




Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:00 | 4522500 Titan Uranus
Titan Uranus's picture

Klitshko better play nice or Hollande might just whack him in the elbow with his eye...

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 16:12 | 4522555 Fíréan
Fíréan's picture

They all have to sit to shit and wipe their own ass afterwards ! 

Kings, queens, presidents, politicians, bankers, thugs, media "stars" and presenters . . . whoever . . .

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:39 | 4522952 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

I believe Dick Cheney and John Kerry have overcome that physical hindrance as they have become quite adept at defecating orally.......... oh wait ....... my research assistant has just corrected me...... turns out AIPAC has actually developed genetically modified assholes and taught them to speak ..... my bad 



Edit - but I was still correct the feces is dispensed orally from both enhanced anal units

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:22 | 4522886 argentuman
argentuman's picture


Hollande Between a Rocky and a Hard Place.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:27 | 4522911 besnook
besnook's picture

i don't need knee pads

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 17:53 | 4523014 Aaronson.Jones....
Aaronson.Jones.Rutherford's picture

Hollande needs a stool so he can see over the verge to where the cameraman is.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 18:07 | 4523048 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Hollande posed as the village idiot in spite of his small stature, earlier.

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:31 | 4523325 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Who's the guy in the middle?


Hollande went into a chemist shop and wanted the biggest condom available. He was told to return in a week because it had to be ordered in.

A week later he arrives and is handed a large packet.

He opens it and unfolds a condom which is as tall as him. He proceeds to pull it over his head all the way to his feet.

He asks the chemist how he looks.

The chemist replies, "Monsieur President you look like a big prick. "

Hollande replies:  "That's fantastique. I am sick of people calling me a little cunt.! "

Fri, 03/07/2014 - 19:53 | 4523379 RaceToTheBottom
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"Stand small but wear a big Strap-on....."

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