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Ukrainian Stereotyping Caption Contest

Tyler Durden's picture




 

What does the typical Westerner think of when asked about Ukraine?

 

 

Source: Russian Esquire

 

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Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:48 | 4528486 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Porn?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:52 | 4528498 knukles
knukles's picture

It has been said that women from the reaches of the East, such as The Ukraine or The Crimea are known to be very uninhibited dirty girls who will do things for money that Western girls will not.
But get real ugly when they get even a little older.
Sorta like a boats.  Don't own it, rent it, for you guys so interested.
(just the messenger, all hear tell, hear say, no experience in this field)

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4528512 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

Heeyyy soldja boy....

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:00 | 4528526 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

White women.  Yea baby!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:03 | 4528536 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Ukraine?

Is that a cheap iKraine knock-off?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4528546 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Their soldiers look like they are about 15 12 and 8 year old brothers.

I like apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur.  =)

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:34 | 4528627 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Those are dudes.

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:42 | 4528643 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Yup. Sharp eye.

 

I see TWO Ukrainian Very Special Forces agents effortlessly incapacitating THREE Russian soldiers... it's on!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:55 | 4528654 prains
prains's picture

the dude on the left looks like he's meeting a martian for the first time and can't make up his mind whether or not it will bite his head off

 

 

another question: when does regular army have three soldiers all carry completely different weapons?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:15 | 4528761 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...its a good question.

Another good question is, how is it that an entire column of troops are stopped in their tracks by (what appears to be) two chicks? What could they possibly have or be holding to exert so much force against such a vast array? Babies in their arms? RPG's? Flowers?

Sometimes what is not seen is the most powerful or most informative instead of what is presented to be seen, the chicks could have beards for all we know and the soldiers are simply stunned...lovers of art & propaganda unite! ;-)

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:32 | 4528802 666
666's picture

Those Ukraine girls really knock me out. They leave the west behind.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:52 | 4528852 nmewn
nmewn's picture

;-)

They were way ahead of their time...

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:12 | 4528915 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Thank you. 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:22 | 4528947 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

When I lived in NYC, my Ukranian dental hygenist, Irina, looked something like girl-on-the-left from the waist down.  Check.  Yep, that's what I think when I think Ukranians, especially when under the influence of nitrous oxide.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:25 | 4529287 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

the quotation i remember is "i'm horny as a bitch in heat."

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:26 | 4528960 HisNameIsRP
HisNameIsRP's picture

Look like dudes in the face

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:31 | 4528982 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Dudes?  What dudes?  There are dudes in that picture?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:35 | 4528633 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:14 | 4528542 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

"If its got tits, tires, or floats, it's going to cost you."

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:27 | 4528607 zhandax
zhandax's picture

The Florida version, 'If it flys, floats, or fucks, you are better off renting.'

It appears the westerners who can locate the Ukraine on a map think of the women.  I bet 90% of westerners wouldn't know which side of the globe to search.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:24 | 4528951 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

War is the way that Americans learn geography.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:02 | 4529057 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I like what Charlie Sheen once said, "I don't pay them to have sex with me I pay them to leave."

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:42 | 4529329 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

I think that quote belongs to Xaviera Hollander.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:09 | 4529246 nmewn
nmewn's picture

But there is one Floridian who wouldn't post something sourced to Iskra, thats for sure ;-)

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 05:44 | 4529727 zhandax
zhandax's picture

nmewn, I don't deny I was in the bond business in Florida, so I defer to your sources, but I am almost certain I heard it in a waterfront bar in Miami while being schooled in the game of Hook and Ring.  That seemed a simpler time.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4528553 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

 At least the highly educated Russian-culture women in the Ukraine maintain their looks very well thank you.  I celebrated our 10th aniversary with my very fine Ukrainian wife in her mid forties his weekend.  If she wasn't living on 3 hours of sleep a day due to our 7 month id twins, she'd still be the goddess I married.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:06 | 4528899 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

if it floats flies or fucks you're better off renting

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:37 | 4528998 Freddie
Freddie's picture

American women have been fortunate to have lived in a wealthy country.   If things fall apart - we will be seeing a lot more of this globally and it is not pretty.  It is sad.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 04:26 | 4529680 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Sad? Globally, I agree. Here in America maybe they can become human/women again instead of this trumped up, macho-ass persona that is driven by drivel they see in the movies and on TV.

If we keep in mind that they were driven to this just so that "they" could "expand the economy" .....what a bunch of horseshit.  Oh no, that's right!!  TPTB have great compassion for women and want to see them flourish. In Afghanistan the Taliban beat the women and that was one of the reasons we had to invade. Meanwhile in Saudi, they get whipped if their ankles are showing.

Are you freakin' kidding me? I wonder what other being they will try to pimp out next. Men, women, cats, dogs,chia pets, pet rocks, Barney the dinosaur...... what's left? Don't be amazed if you see people, dogs and horses on treadmills producing electricity that you and I will pay for because we have to "get healthy".

What is sad is what we have become because the family has fallen apart because of these lies. The more the family falls apart, the easier it is to feed people this crap.

 

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 08:57 | 4529889 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 TPTB have great compassion for women and want to see them flourish. In Afghanistan the Taliban beat the women and that was one of the reasons we had to invade. 

Yeah, this always makes me chuckle too. We care about an Afghan woman's rights? What about her right not to have all her male relatives slaughtered by our military?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:44 | 4529186 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

"dirty girls who will do things for money that Western girls will not"

They are all the same, only the price differs!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 23:22 | 4529429 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They are all the same, only the price differs!

Deep discounts currently in effect in Methamphalachia.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 04:28 | 4529687 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

Still a case of Mt. Dew, right?

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 00:25 | 4529535 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

knukles, I find in my travels around Europe and Australia/New Zealand that nationalities do vary a lot in the looks of their women. I have been to Russia [not Ukraine] many times. Moscow has by far the most beautiful women I have seen anywhere in the world, by quality and quantity. Worst place is the United Kingdom. Though I am fond of the more pure Celtic beauty of certain Welsh and Scots women. Australia and New Zealand resemble the United Kingdom on average pretty ugly. Beauty is rare for them.

Sweden is where I spend the most time, their fame for beauty is well lived up to! They mostly age very badly. I blame that on their summer passion to tan heavily from an early age. That beautiful face and skin is quickly ruined by sun aging. In Russia, tanning is not at all popular with the girls, and I have seen so many Russian women in their forties I would die to get. I think if Swedish women would be more like Russian women and avoid the sun instead , they would last much longer.

My woman was Finnish, not a sun worshiper. At 30 she looked 20, and 40 she looked 30. I never once looked at her and said, oh she has aged. She was still a looker at 45 when we ended the relationship.

My list:    Moscow Russia #1       most beautiful

             Stockholm Sweden #2

             Finland #3

 

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 09:02 | 4529891 Mediocritas
Mediocritas's picture

WIth a similar residency profile, I'll verify those general findings [not the ratings though, seriously, Finland #3?? You're biased!].

Ladies, pay attention, all those lotions and potions and assorted beauty products are bullshit. Nothing works better than sunscreen and a good hat, here's the proof:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/truck-driver-face-premature...

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 09:02 | 4529900 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Too bad none of them are native English speakers.

I find women of recent African ethnic heritage (read: black or part black) can age very well if they don't adopt the typical working-class diet of high carbs and bad fats.

However, as most black women in the West are working class, most of them eat what everyone else does in their social group, sadly.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 09:06 | 4529911 Mediocritas
Mediocritas's picture

Don't let that put you off. In my experience, everyone in Scandinavia (under the age of 40 anyway) speaks English better than the average native English speaker does.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 01:24 | 4529586 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Your dead on, dead on.  And I love that picture, it's so true.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:55 | 4528509 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

If Russia ever used it's women to fight a war instead of the man with their tanks, America would have lost the war already 100 times.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:21 | 4528584 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Nope, stilts.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:46 | 4528667 Jannn
Jannn's picture

Chinese Gold Demand 418 Tonnes YTD, West Confused http://www.ingoldwetrust.ch/chinese-gold-demand-418-mt-ytd-west-in-deny

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:27 | 4528966 bjfish
bjfish's picture

So thats what happened to my poodle!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:49 | 4528487 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Hey baby, wanna party?!?

DaddyO

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:34 | 4528632 dow jones 20000
dow jones 20000's picture

anyone who works an FMJ reference into the conversaion deserves a vote in my books.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:18 | 4528936 PeaceMonger
PeaceMonger's picture

You can use our knee-pads!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4528490 B2u
B2u's picture

Ms. Claus?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:21 | 4528586 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

and the other is santa's favorite elf.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4528492 news printer
news printer's picture

he think of some cultural exchange

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 04:51 | 4529702 Onthebeach
Onthebeach's picture

"Hey guys, do you know if there are any Russian soldiers around here interested in a good time?"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4528493 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

High heels and fur, I am in brother.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 03:36 | 4529655 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

What about the fur of a Canadian beaver?

In the Pioneering days, Canada's "Greasy Beaver" was particularly popular in France.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4528494 NitneLiun
NitneLiun's picture

Mail order brides.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4528495 Racer
Racer's picture

OMG, look at the length of those legs!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:52 | 4528500 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Placing wallet in hotel-room safe.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:42 | 4529002 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You will still wake up missing at least one of your organs.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 03:38 | 4529657 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

You pay them for the service, and tip them to leave.
Then you lock up, wash up and sleep.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:55 | 4528508 Mr Creosote
Mr Creosote's picture

They may take our freedom, but they'll never take our leg warmers!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:55 | 4528510 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

Do we need a furbearers permit like trapping season?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4528511 dobermangang
Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:25 | 4528598 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Hoochie Mama!" —Frank Costanza

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4528513 indianplayers
indianplayers's picture

Julian Assange all over again.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4528515 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  BOOBS in a good way ;0

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:00 | 4528528 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Inappropriate shoes for streetwalking on those paths. Probably advanced product placement marketing, if you notice all of the soldiers in tha background.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:01 | 4528532 knukles
knukles's picture

I'll give you fellas one and only one guess what some skank in platform heels and faux fur ankle warmers is doing in the middle of fuck all nowhere (the fuck is a hint, BTW) standing in front of a bunch of lonely soldiers in a foreign country probably worried shitless about being shot and never seeing soft sticky fishy smelling Natasha back home in Stalingrad, ever again.

WWTD?
What would Tyler do?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4528549 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

Fuck her brains out?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:46 | 4528668 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

They are doing their part to win the war. STDs are weapons of mass destruction don't ya know.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:43 | 4529011 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Ask whether or not they have seen moose, and squirrel

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:36 | 4529162 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Plus 10 - for Boris Badanov reference.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:50 | 4529351 Agent P
Agent P's picture

He fixes the cable?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:03 | 4528538 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Porn, bitches!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:04 | 4528540 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Come and keep your comrade warm...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:14 | 4528571 n8dawg84
n8dawg84's picture

didnt see your post. Ya beat me to it

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4528548 drstrangelove73
drstrangelove73's picture

So,Muslim hookers,eh?
Yikes

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:13 | 4528566 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hubba-hubba.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:14 | 4528569 n8dawg84
n8dawg84's picture

Ukraine girls really knock me out and leave the West behind.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:14 | 4528572 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I'll take the one on the right for a hundred, Alex.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:23 | 4528593 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

100 get you both say Alexi

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:15 | 4528574 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"this ain't life on base Smervoplast anymore...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:16 | 4528576 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Probably what they thought in all wars. 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:20 | 4528582 ILLILLILLI
ILLILLILLI's picture

Where the hell is Boris? I'm missing his witty repartee...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:22 | 4528588 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Borscht. Pierogi. My mother in law.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:22 | 4528589 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

What has four legs and fur.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:53 | 4528690 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Michelle Obama in Reggie Love's position?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:35 | 4528597 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Thought Police ALERT!!!

"It's f'kin goddam sexist, homophobic & raciss to assume they are nubile white females!" - Hillary

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:25 | 4528783 knukles
knukles's picture

OK, Hill.  If I may call you that as that woman singing about you in that lesbian YouTube election spot some years ago, Hill.  So, Hill, should I assume then that they're some trannies from the SEC on Vacation looking for a good time?
Or extra income?
Or maybe even on a fuckt finding junket paid for by the American Taxpayers?
That's it, Hill.
They're trannies from the SEC.
You know, taxpayer funded twisted shit fuck movies which, when you were in DC, did nothing about.

Now, about that brain aneurism. 

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:25 | 4528601 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

Yum yum.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:27 | 4528608 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Tranny midget porn.........??

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:33 | 4528623 Dan The Man
Dan The Man's picture

Virst you vill brink me the plootonium...Then you vill brink me the head of KERMIT DE FROG !!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:34 | 4528631 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Make love not war.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:38 | 4528641 cheetahbaby
cheetahbaby's picture

USA long ago became a nation of Chewbacca's and Wally Mart fatties. You can tell a lot about a country's culture by looking at their women....

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:39 | 4528646 bentaxle
bentaxle's picture

Come any closer and we blow you

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:46 | 4528653 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

knock, knock.

Hoe's there..

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:43 | 4528656 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

The most cruel propaganda we got in the west was that all the Russian girls were built like the female wrestlers we saw at the Olympics every four years. The walls fell and along came the internet. I will never forgive my government for such ruthless propaganda. Cruel....cruel indeed. I think I know why the Beatles sung about being back in the USSR.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:15 | 4528662 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

Daydream

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:47 | 4528671 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

In cold weather, people love each other much more. What do you not understand about it, americans?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:48 | 4528672 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Hey guys, how come those weapons are pointing down?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:52 | 4528688 Hot Piece of Bass
Hot Piece of Bass's picture

Presenting the all new 2014 model Ukrainian bride!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:53 | 4528691 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

"Whatsa matter boys, you never see blond beavers before?"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:20 | 4528773 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I'd love some "blonde" beaver pelt!  Unfortunately< the BEAVER I always come across skinned---smooth...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:27 | 4528789 knukles
knukles's picture

Actually, the boys are stunned as the upper part of the pick shows the broads holding their blouses open before their chest waxings.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:33 | 4528803 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

@ knukles  aka Knuks,

  I can't stop laughing!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 18:56 | 4528697 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

OMG, those legs go all the way from their asses to the ground! The soldiers are awaiting the magic words: "Fukee, Sukee, 2 bukee"...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:12 | 4528751 peakaboo
peakaboo's picture

'Hey Osip, ya think they're KGB?'
'Nah, more like Mossad'.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:01 | 4528713 Donewidit
Donewidit's picture

The women in Montreal are hotter...

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:27 | 4528968 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

They would be the Ukraine chicks who had the good sense to get out while the getting was good, no?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:50 | 4529023 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Many canadians are escapees from early-mid 20th c. eastern Europe.

If socialism and fascism are so great, why were so many trying to run from it?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:03 | 4528720 william114085
william114085's picture

worlds most beautiful women, by city....my own experience:

1. Kaunas, Lithuania....shocking that such a small city could have so many stunning women.

2. Odessa, Ukraine....on par with Kaunas

3. Kiev, Ukraine

4. Riga, Latvia

5. St Petersburg, Russia

If you have young sons, make them learn Russian.....they'll be eternally grateful.  

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:27 | 4528791 Alpha Monkey
Alpha Monkey's picture

So, you've never been to Italy then?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:42 | 4529005 Freddie
Freddie's picture

How about Sweden?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:53 | 4529203 william114085
william114085's picture

different strokes for different folks.....

I also think Persian women are beautiful. Some Mexicans, Indians, and Japanese, too....I was in Hong Kong last year and saw more than one stunning Chinese girl....hard to imagine, but true....6 ft tall and smoking hot.  I wish I thought Thai girls were hot....life would be so easy....cruise over to Thailand and live happily ever after. 

 

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:13 | 4528918 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

sorry... Rio #1

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:03 | 4528723 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Is no gun in my pocket. Is AK-74 assault rifle.

But yes, am happy to see you.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:08 | 4528739 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Women sold as sex slaves in Israel?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:13 | 4528754 scraping_by
scraping_by's picture

No, Turkey. There, the popular term for a hooker is a Natasha.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:16 | 4528764 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

In the west we call sex slaves wives......... hahahahahahahhahhahhahha......... as if..... not even.

 

 In the west if you want a woman to stop having sex just put a gold band on thier finger.... works every time though i think most are alergic to gold as it seems to make them blow up like a blowfish and get very very cranky..

 

 

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:14 | 4528922 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

we use wedding cake for birth control lol

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 01:41 | 4529602 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Smiling while walking down the aisle?   

She knows she just gave her last blowjob.  

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 23:47 | 4529472 yochananmichael
yochananmichael's picture

29% of Nobel winners. eat your drunken heart out

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 01:28 | 4529591 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

about 100% of organ traffickers.

But perhaps that's what you meant by eating hearts out.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:14 | 4528752 LongOfTooth
LongOfTooth's picture

Are you dating?  

 

Anyway that's what the hookers in the U.S. ask potential Johns.

 

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:16 | 4528762 scraping_by
scraping_by's picture

Serious consequences for joining the EU. Folks in the Urkarine look in the mirror and see Germans. Germans look at the Ukraine and see Greeks.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:28 | 4528793 knukles
knukles's picture

Arabs look in a Greek mirror and see a goat.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:33 | 4528805 Roscoe
Roscoe's picture

"Hi guys! My wife Buffy and I wanted to get a firsthand look at the whole "YouCrane" concept before we invested. So is it cloud-based, and is that building back there where the crane farm will be housed? We missed the Twitter and Facebook deals, so we want be in early on YouCrane. Are you guys programmers, or crane builders or something? Love the costumes! Will there be a cool commercial like Call of Duty or something? Maybe we could follow up the IPO with "BitCrane"! The name alone would be worth a 20 billion market cap!"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:45 | 4528835 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

"We're hot chicks. First you give us the continuum transfunctioner, then we give you oral pleasure".

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 19:48 | 4528843 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

"You here to establish your position, boys?"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:53 | 4529034 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

nope, just preparing an assault from the rear.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:00 | 4528881 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

"and some cozy little footies on their mind..."

FZ - PO-JAMA People

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:09 | 4528908 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Do the women really shave their backs there?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:20 | 4528909 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

"Are those grenades in your pockets or are you just happy to see us?"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:13 | 4528917 windcatcher
windcatcher's picture

 

WOW! The Ukraine sure is a beautiful country!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:54 | 4529206 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

As Boris would say, don't let long leg get u shot in, how u say, junk

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:13 | 4528919 windcatcher
windcatcher's picture

 

WOW! The Ukraine sure is a beautiful country!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:23 | 4528950 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

They're spies! Like us!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:26 | 4528963 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

What I want to know is it really that cold that those soldiers need those masks? Or just too much a bunch of fucking cowards to be identified?

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:29 | 4528976 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

They wear'em here when it's a 100 degrees, probably just to get the cooling effect.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 20:27 | 4528969 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

"You boys have girlfriend Crimea?"

"Me love you long time... me so horny"

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:04 | 4529071 nah
nah's picture

the other russian port

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:09 | 4529079 pndr4495
pndr4495's picture

Holodomor.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 21:44 | 4529188 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I would hit that with my full metal Johnson

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:08 | 4529243 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Dance off!

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:24 | 4529281 toktomi
toktomi's picture

Dick.

Sun, 03/09/2014 - 22:37 | 4529316 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

 

What does the typical Westerner think of when asked about Ukraine?

 

You what?

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 00:29 | 4529539 New American Re...
New American Revolution's picture

Hot chicks that are tired of Russian machismo men and just want to have fun... with Westerners.

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 01:12 | 4529574 Bach's_bitch
Bach&#039;s_bitch's picture

What we have here, little furry sister, is a fine scale model of pure Gazprom pipeline, but it ain't too goddamn beau coup!

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 01:14 | 4529577 Aussie V
Aussie V's picture

I say 'Nope, must be someone elses crane"

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 02:19 | 4529616 KingTut
KingTut's picture

Oh! Excuse us commander Putin, we thought you were Western Pig Whores ... uhhh ... I mean infiltrators!

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 03:11 | 4529643 zippy_uk
zippy_uk's picture

"You can annex my Crimea any time big boy.."

Mon, 03/10/2014 - 04:40 | 4529694 Onthebeach
Onthebeach's picture

"Hey guys, do you know if there are any Russian soldiers around here interested in a good time?"

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