John McCain Is Going To Ukraine

Tyler Durden's picture

Three weeks ago, John Kerry came, saw, and launched a blitz-diplomatic campaign which promptly resulted in, well, Russia annexing Crimea.

Now it is the turn of that other foreign policy titan, neo-con John McCain, to complete Kerry's job and finally launch the GDP-boosting World War III. He may have the chance to do that as soon as Thursday, when he, along with other senators, is slated to travel to Ukraine to "show support for the government there." Or, said otherwise, to show support for the government that is in power thanks to an illegitimate and deadly coup that took place just over two weeks ago, despite the formal signing of a memorandum, endorsed by all Western powers, that stipulated a peaceful transition as well as presidential elections in the coming months. When presented like that, one almost thinks back to the roaring success that was the US endorsement of the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood regime (where the US too had zero involvement, repeat zero involvement) that also took over following a violent coup. As well as the largely predictable countercoup that overthrew said regime.

The Hill explains:

The meeting comes ahead of a planned referendum in Crimea on Sunday to secede from Ukraine and join Russia — something the U.S. has said would violate the country’s constitution.


McCain's office said the group would be meeting with members of the interim government and other stakeholders Thursday through Sunday.


The delegation will be made up of a group of eight senators from both parties. Aside from McCain, those traveling to Ukraine are Sens. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), John Barrasso (R-Wyo.), John Hoeven (R-N.D.), Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.).


McCain and Murphy also visited the country in December as protests flared in Ukraine. In February, President Viktor Yanukovych fled the country and Russian troops invaded the Crimea peninsula.

Curious for more? Don't be. Not even McCain's office knows much:

McCain’s office said it did not have specifics on the agenda when asked which parts of the country the delegation would be visiting.

It is of course possible the McCain simply doesn't know where Ukraine is to begin with, but all that does matter is to show support for the US military industrial complex, and to show solidarity with US allies in Europe who after last year's botched attempt to get Qatar nat gas, will get some resource self reliance damn it, even if it means killing millions of innocent Ukrainians on both sides of the soon to be east-west split border.

And just in case McCain isn't senile enough to provoke the start of another world war, moments ago the Senate Foreign Relations Committee did its best to further antagonize Russia when it approved legislation granting aid to Ukraine and authorizing sanctions on Russia in a 14-3 vote. Four Republicans voted for the bill despite International Monetary Reform provisions opposed by some conservatives. Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.), the panel's ranking member, and Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) joined the panel's Democrats in backing the bill.  “I believe we are at a defining moment right now,” said Corker, who negotiated the final draft. “Our friends and allies in the region are watching.”

Sadly, like everything else in Congress, this vote too was just for show, especially since it would involve actual work to enact it into law:

It will be difficult, however, for Congress to complete its work on the bill before lawmakers leave for a recess on Friday.


Legislation passed by the House does not include the IMF provisions, and the pace of action in the Senate will be slowed if conservatives, as expected, refuse to agree to move the bill forward by unanimous consent.


That means there would be no action by Congress on aid to Ukraine before Sunday, when a referendum in Crimea will be held on whether that region should divorce Ukraine for Russia.

By then Crimea will be officially a part of Russia, at which point our best wishes to Congress in legislating away just how Putin should promptly hand over the keys to what he quickly annexed without making more than a couple public statements and in the process once again made the US foreign policy wizards look like the proverbial pigeon playing chess.

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Joebloinvestor's picture


Hey John!

You want to do something that "matters", go after the IRS with the same zeal you went after the Air Farce.

CH1's picture

Please god, don't let this madman come back.

JoeSexPack's picture

Never thought I'd root for N Vietnam.

Looney's picture

One of McCunt's aids should slip a roofie to that degenerate and safe us all from WWIII...  ;-)


Jurassic's picture

Maybe he could make a stop in Lybia, to see what last revolution brought there..

Scarlett's picture

Have a safe travel, Archduch McCain!

aminorex's picture

whenever this guy shows up, the government gets toppled

Looney's picture

A search party looking for the lost Malaysian plane in the jungles of Vietnam has just found an old American dude claiming to be THE REAL John McCain. Who the fuck has been representing Arizona all these years then?  ;-)


bania's picture

First, he's got to find it.

The Alarmist's picture

Maybe we'll get lucky and Vlad will decide to do a real-life remake one of those old Chuck Norris "Missing in Action" movies, with Johnny reprising the lead role, except we don't need to do any of the escape scenes after he gets recaptured.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Bon Voyage, Grandpa Traitor!

Don't come back.

MontgomeryScott's picture

I hear that Malaysia Airlines is going to need a few volunteers to try to help re-create the flightpath of MH370. Since John 'Songbird' McCain is a jet pilot, it is only fitting that he and the ENTIRE DELEGATION help in this international humanitarian aid effort to solve this mystery. Should they fail, and make it to Bejing, the only request I have is that the Chinese revoke their passports.


wee-weed up's picture

What an irrelevant old Rumpleforeskin!

ebworthen's picture

McCain may as well visit Hanoi, since all that sacrifice only brought about cheap manufacturing for Nike - and the U.S. selling out its population to China.

john39's picture

his mission is to set up operations on the border of Crimea for the liver eater cult to infiltrate and do what they do best...

TheReplacement's picture

If they were smart imperialists they would position assests in the Med (no closer) to make a show of standing up to Putin.  If Putin moves on Ukraine then send the assets to Syria and take it.  Then they would have the pipeline they seem to want.  Ukraine can be bypassed so it isn't crucial like Syria, no? 

Of course there may not be a Europe to send the gas to if Putin does not stop at Ukraine.  What would he possibly trip on before reaching Germany?


disabledvet's picture

One US destroyer is more than enough.

"They need to work on the propaganda too."
That would be the Russians.

Again, I respect the right to "Kiev Rus" on the part of Mother Russia here...but there are protocols involved. Any appraisal of "Counter-attack Paranoia" should best be done by taking into account at least the idea of these protocols...let alone that that they do in fact exist. (I can give a VERY long list here...none of which have been articulated by anyone as of yet--interestingly-I might add...but one is for example "proportionality." Another not wearing could be labelled a terrorist and Russia could be labelled a State Sponsor of terrorism.) I'm sure the West is well proviso'ed for responding "via bureau-bot" as in theory at least everything so far being done relative to Ukraine is covered under the USA Patriot Act.

Just "keepin' it real" as they say.

tony wilson's picture

you kiddin that place is dangerous full of depleted uranium mcain is already on 3 child blood tranfusions a month.

TheReplacement's picture

No.  Send him to Russia.  They need a revolution just as bad as every western country does.  If only one country has a revolution it becomes a victim.  If all countries have revolutions then they won't have to worry about that, for a few days.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The comment of this guy is so detached from reality I doubt Ukrainian Junta Citizenism citizens will even bother about bringing that disconnection up. Would ruin their money making session.

Cap Matifou's picture

World-wide revolution is the idea the useful idiots cling upon since over 200 years. From the 1953 California State Senate Report:

"Communism is synonymous with world revolution and seeks the destruction of all nations, the abolition of patriotism, religion, marriage, family, private property and all political and civil liberties, concerned with the establishment of a worldwide dictatorship of the so called proletariat, which is, in fact, an autocratic self-constituted dictatorship by a small group of self-perpetuating revolutionaries."

john39's picture

what about his gay gimp friend, lindsay graham... not going along on this trip?  i thought team zato always sent these clowns together.

Pure Evil's picture

O'buthole couldn't bear to be without his Charleston Huckleberry.

From Urban Dictionary:


A gay cracker who provides sexual relief for straight brothers when their women arent around. Similar to 'strawberry' but without the drugs, and given by faggots. - "I need to bus a nut b, but my girl aint around."
- "well Ramone got that huckleberry who pays to suck his dick - u can use him AND get some readies."
tony wilson's picture

who is ramone huckleberry?

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


who is ramone huckleberry?

That would be Lily Graham.

MontgomeryScott's picture

Other examples:

Barney Frank

Rudy Giuliani

Larry Craig

Obama's 'Choom Gang'

ANY attendee of 'Bohemian Grove'

Creeps's picture

I have an uncle who is a senator, whom I never hear about in the news.  But these two turds are always blobbing up, stinking up anything they are attached to.

MontgomeryScott's picture

Obama and McCain walk in to a gay bar one night...

McCain: "Wow, it's crowded in here! Where should we sit?"

Obama: "Look, there's a couple of stools by the bar, let's sit there."

McCain walks over, but the stool is too far away from the bar. "This doesn't look very comfortable, Barry."

Obama: "It'll be fine." Obama walks behind him. "Here, let me push up your stool..."


unrulian's picture

Hopefully, their flightpath is accross the Malaysian triangle  

DaddyO's picture

Since when is a US Senator the appointed designee for whirled peas.

This guy has jumped the shark and needs to be retired by the voters of AZ.


Winston Churchill's picture

I'm hoping Kiev has a very extended stay Hilton.

The Vietnamese should have kept the fool, and saveed the world from Mcstain.

Conax's picture

They knew what they were doing..

fleur de lis's picture

You bet. They knew he was a good for nothing wrecking ball so they sent him back to America to do their dirty work. How right they were.  

The Alarmist's picture

Nah, Mr. Charlie reprogrammed him and sent him home to take the USA down from inside.

NotApplicable's picture

He lives in a state filled with senile retirees, so I wouldn't hold out much hope.

MontgomeryScott's picture

I didn't know McFuckstain was from the Hamptons... err, wait, I mean Florida... what part of The Hamptons, Florida is Arizona in, anyway? I mean, I took geography in skool and all... Is there a street named 'K' there? I heard that this street goes all the way to Chicago! Hu'ked on Fonics Werked Fur MEE!

williambanzai7's picture

Hmm, I wonder if this trip will lend itself to creative opportunities....

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Jews and Nazi's teaming up to go after Othodox Russians...what could go wrong? BTW, we need Japan, the Chinese and Persians in this to make this a real fair fight. Hollywood has never even come close to this plot, maybe Blazing Saddles was kinda getting there...

MontgomeryScott's picture

The Evergreen Aviation charter is circling the skies on the border of Ukraine right now. The pilot, Slim Pickens, gets on the intercom, and announces:

'SHIT! God damn it! One of you is gonna have to go back and get a SHITLOAD of dimes!"

Independent's picture

All Russia has to do is resume atmospheric testing of nuclear weapons and the Euros will quickly fold with their sanctions.
Or how about a nuclear detonation on a Volcano in Kamchatka, or maybe two or three volcanoes, the Russians have 80 active volcanoes there. All that plume and dust goes east and blocks the sun as it sits up in the atmosphere, can do a lot of hurt to the whole world. IF Russia is to feel pain the whole world will feel it also. And the cooooold weather that will come where will the EUROS get oil and gas for severe winters?
The Euros and USA went in Russia's back yard with a stick looking for trouble poking the sleeping bear. Be careful with these dumb games, Russia is not Libya. Russia has been playing very nice but USA broke its promises of not extending Nato to Baltic republics and Eastern Europe. Stop poking the Bear or there will be a lot of hurt to go around. These politicians are imbeciles playing with the fate of the world, leave well enough alone you fools. With all that volcano dust up in the atmosphere for months you can say goodbye to any air traffic and McCains airplane neonazi dual citizen funded diplomacy. How will USA fly out of Afghanistan then, how will all the big shots feel like when they cant fly around to Kiev and hand out their cookies.

DaddyO's picture

Excellent depiction of Heir McStainfeld...


MontgomeryScott's picture


He's had many wives, including Pelosi and Fin-shtein, but Johnny Boi knows who the MAC-DADDY is! The 'head negro in the project' (and his white wife, Valerie Jarrett) keep Johnny in check. He just wants some NEW meat for the tuckus, and he remembers that the name 'VLAD' is associated with IMPALING, in his befuddled, twisted, and wholly corrupted mind and body.

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

I do not support Putins use of combat forces in the Ukraine but I honestly hope a Russian soldier kills this motherfucker.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The Russians aren't stupid. Grandpa Traitor is like sand in the crankcase of an engine. He ruins everything he touches. Best to leave him be so he can continue his destruction of the US from the inside.

MontgomeryScott's picture

RE: familial ties (NEPOTISM):

One night in 1957, during his junior year at the U.S. Naval Academy, John Sidney McCain III found himself in trouble, an incident that destined him for yet another tense discussion with his frustrated father. While on liberty, he and a couple of classmates had gotten into an argument at a Washington park with a group of guys from nearby Georgetown University who'd tried crashing an impromptu party that McCain and his friends were having with a few girls. An exchange of insults escalated to pugnacious challenges, then shoves, with McCain in the center of the confrontation. One participant remembers the dispute as bloodless, a simple case of testosterone briefly running amok among rival alpha males.

But a witness had called authorities. Hearing that some of the young men appeared to be in the distinctive dress blues of midshipmen, the authorities notified the Navy's Shore Patrol, whose duties included rounding up midshipmen misbehaving away from campus. Detaining McCain and his buddies, the Shore Patrol contacted McCain's father, a naval officer who, living in Washington with McCain's mother, was rousted from bed to pick up his son and at least one other midshipman involved in the incident.

Arriving in uniform, with his trademark cigar in his mouth, Jack McCain came to get the boys and drove home. Midshipman Walt Ryan sat sheepishly in the back seat, staring at silent father and son for a few moments. "It was 2 in the morning or so, and it seemed like John's father had been sleeping before it happened," he said. "He got to the point pretty quickly after we got moving."

"Gentlemen, this will not happen again," Capt. McCain said.

"Yes, sir," his son responded.

"Captain McCain was upset, but he didn't go on talking about it very long," Ryan remembers. "He wanted to get home. He just said, 'No more of that.' The important thing was that we not jeopardize anything for ourselves."


Me. Me. Me. Mine. Mine. Mine.

As Johnny-boi sits in the  backseat of Daddy's car, back in '57, sucking his man-child thumb, his Daddy bails him out (along with his friends, who are, naturally, 'important to him', according to his Mommy) once again, for being a snot-nosed little self-important PRICK. Daddy, of course, may not be entirely to blame (of COURSE he is! He was supposed to be the MAN, but his WIFE told him how to raise the boi, didn't she? DIDN'T SHE?).

Did I miss anything here?

GMadScientist's picture

And what's the take-away for Johnny from this incident?

"My dad can get me out of trouble. I'm invincible! I think I'll go 'accidentally' kill some of my Navy shipmates with my incompetence and have him cover that up too" Shitstain III