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Another Trader Commits Suicide, Brings Total Recent Banker Deaths To 10

Tyler Durden's picture


For a market that is flirting with all time highs on a daily basis, the recent banker and trader suicide epidemic seems oddly out of place. And yet, it continues to claim even more victims, with the latest casuality being Edmund Reilly, 47, a trader at Midtown's Vertical Group, who as the Post reported, jumped in front of an LIRR train station yesterday at 6 am near the Syosset train station and was pronounced dead at the scene.


A Manhattan trader was killed Tuesday morning by a speeding Long Island Rail Road commuter train, marking at least the seventh suicide of a financial professional this year.


Edmund (Eddie) Reilly, 47, a trader at Midtown’s Vertical Group, jumped in front of an LIRR train at 6 a.m. near the Syosset train station. He was declared dead at the scene.


Reilly’s identity was confirmed by Salvatore Arena, an LIRR spokesperson, who said an investigation into the incident was continuing.


Passengers on the west-bound express train told MTA investigators they saw a man standing by the tracks before he jumped in front of the train, Arena said.


“Eddie was a great guy,” Rob Schaffer, a managing director at Vertical, told The Post in an email. “We are very upset and he will be deeply missed.”


The divorced father of three had rented a house around the corner from his ex-wife, Michelle Reilly, in East Norwich, NY.


One family friend, who said he spoke to the trader on Sunday, told The Post that Reilly “didn’t look good.”

This latest death brings the recent banker death tally to 10:

1 - William Broeksmit, 58-year-old former senior executive at Deutsche Bank AG, was found dead in his home after an apparent suicide in South Kensington in central London, on January 26th.

2 - Karl Slym, 51 year old Tata Motors managing director Karl Slym, was found dead on the fourth floor of the Shangri-La hotel in Bangkok on January 27th.

3 - Gabriel Magee, a 39-year-old JP Morgan employee, died after falling from the roof of the JP Morgan European headquarters in London on January 27th.

4 - Mike Dueker, 50-year-old chief economist of a US investment bank was found dead close to the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington State.

5 - Richard Talley, the 57 year old founder of American Title Services in Centennial, Colorado, was found dead earlier this month after apparently shooting himself with a nail gun.

6 - Tim Dickenson, a U.K.-based communications director at Swiss Re AG, also died last month, however the circumstances surrounding his death are still unknown.

7 - Ryan Henry Crane, a 37 year old executive at JP Morgan died in an alleged suicide just a few weeks ago.  No details have been released about his death aside from this small obituary announcement at the Stamford Daily Voice.

8 - Li Junjie, 33-year-old banker in Hong Kong jumped from the JP Morgan HQ in Hong Kong this week.

9 - James Stuart Jr, Former National Bank of Commerce CEO, found dead in Scottsdale, Ariz., the morning of Feb. 19. A family spokesman did not say whatcaused the death

10 - Edmund (Eddie) Reilly, 47, a trader at Midtown’s Vertical Group, commited suicide by jumping in front of LIRR train


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Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:08 | 4542257 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

some people miss the train... jump in front of the train to early... or catch it just in time...

it's what traders do...

We'll all miss John Doe...

now... will my train be delayed because all of this?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:18 | 4542276 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

"This latest death brings the recent banker death tally to 10".


Too few. Too late.


Yours sincerely,

The whole god damn world

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:20 | 4542289 jaap
jaap's picture

double digits.... sad for the family, but not more than that

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:23 | 4542298 somecallmetimmah
somecallmetimmah's picture

ZZzzSnarzzz-kuh!  Keh!  Gack!

*is it thursday yet?*......

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:25 | 4542304 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Jump mother fuckers!

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:49 | 4542364 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

This is a much bigger deal than it seems. The Vertical group is a small boutique firm that clears for one of the largest bullion banks out there. It's a German bank too and Reilly (I heard from someone yesterday) ran the commodities desk. If there are people actually standing for delivery he would be one of the ones who would know. This guy clearly knew something and this is the first person that I would actually agree could be a very important piece of the puzzle that seems to be coming apart.

Or I made all that shit up and he was a 47 year old burned out trader (NOT A BANKER) at a no name firm who was probably a miserable divorced dude who got booted from his house to an apartment and was having a difficult time adjusting and just had enough and ZH knows it's another boring green day in the markets so might as well make king world news blush with this one.



Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:58 | 4542394 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

jim halpert+michael scott+koi pond= another "suicide"

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:06 | 4542409 cifo
cifo's picture

I was wondering why the lack of banker suicides lately....

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:29 | 4542740 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

You fucking people.

Just because some two-bit nobody trader loses his ass or his wife left him to become a submissive to a big black man or whatever the fuck reason he ended his life doesn't make a trend.

How many days went by when there wasn't a "banker" "suicide"?  How may teachers committed suicide in the past week?  How many haven't?

Why don't you people step away from the keyboard, go outside, and breath some fresh fucking air?


I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:15 | 4542454 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Maybe he knew the Ukraine gold was coming to NYC and said something.  "See Something - Say Something."

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:04 | 4542623 simplejustice
simplejustice's picture

Only thing I can find coming out of Ukraine is a tungsten shipment for delivery to New York,please forward any information about gold.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:26 | 4542490 elephant
elephant's picture

Agree - how many of the 30,000 annual suicides in the US can be attributed to financiers/bankers/etc. ?  How many of them committed suicide last year?  What is the base number we have for comparison?  And then, after looking at that number for comparison, let's ask if someone is trying to make a story out of nothing?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:41 | 4542538 jagercali
jagercali's picture

This one might just be a resukt of the divorce....47 years old fat Irish bald guy renting a house a block away from his precious ex-wife....3 kids plus child support...he probably just said screw this on ZH might be off the "conspiracy" list....

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:40 | 4542539 jagercali
jagercali's picture

This one might just be a resukt of the divorce....47 years old fat Irish bald guy renting a house a block away from his precious ex-wife....3 kids plus child support...he probably just said screw this on ZH might be off the "conspiracy" list....

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:45 | 4542825 bilbert
bilbert's picture

+ 100 Fonz 


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 13:14 | 4543672 Flux
Flux's picture

Flux is not prone to up-arrowing comments, generally viewing public opinion pandering as a rather juvenile endeavour. However ...

That comment was excellent, Fonz.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 14:02 | 4543977 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

this was funny. 

this is what million dollar bonus should have been. instead he was jerkwad. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:51 | 4542366 Arius
Arius's picture

btw, ZH might also cover the other side of the story ... how many tens of thousands of traders are eating $1000 pizza as we speak ???

just a suggestion, you dont have to go out of your way to actually do it ...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:00 | 4542398 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

And yet mugging them would be pointless beyond the immediate gratification I'm sure it would provide.


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:30 | 4542506 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

You might get a piece of $1000 pizza if they're carry a takehome box.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:20 | 4542476 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

computers don't eat pizza.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:19 | 4542278 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

"Channeling Stocks" dot com graduate course... [He was 'right on track' to get his diploma]

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:23 | 4542296 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Trend Trading to Win.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:16 | 4542282 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Why not just go to Palau instead??    Sheeesh!

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:17 | 4542284 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



So far I see we need to ban nail guns, trains, high buildings, and steep I missing anything?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:20 | 4542288 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:25 | 4542302 Rory_Breaker
Rory_Breaker's picture

why not ban banksters?


if there are no banksters, then there won't be bankster suicides

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:41 | 4542351 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Banksters are the tough one to ban, there's just too many of them.

Guns are much easier even though there are tons of them made and sold every year.

CT tried to ban those awful guns and the pushback and refusal has been surprising.

Maybe the sheeple are waking up, this poor trader had other problems but just couldn't take it anymore.

Here's an old video reset with new subtitles.

We live in interesting times...


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:55 | 4542383 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



CT tried to ban those awful guns and the pushback and refusal has been surprising.


Word is they have 350,000 armed and dangerous felons running around that place.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:36 | 4542522 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Pffft. That's just in New Haven alone.

 - 322 -

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:06 | 4542634 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

Yeah, 350,000 hedge fund managers that is.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:01 | 4542401 forwardho
forwardho's picture

DaddyO, Here is another version of same clip.

Put together by our own KrispKritter. Very, Very funny.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:44 | 4543152 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

The brains and talent around here is amazing...


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:24 | 4542299 Independent
Independent's picture

Ban air, it fuels fires

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:34 | 4542329 HyBrasilian
Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:00 | 4542397 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Didn't one guy die in a car - ban cars.  I think someone hung themselves - ban rope, cable, neck ties, and anything else that can be fashioned as a noose.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4542479 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

short HD.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:05 | 4543271 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

They don't need to ban trains.

The trains just need cattle catchers.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:22 | 4542294 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Gofl claps~


Well played.



Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:22 | 4542295 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Gofl claps~


Well played.



Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:36 | 4543110 hunglow
hunglow's picture

Ticket to ride.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 16:40 | 4544804 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture


How many farmers have committed suicide in the last six weeks?

How many teachers have committed suicide in the last six weeks?

How many checkout operators have committed suicide in the last six weeks?



And in any case... how is this a "banker"?

"Tata Motors managing director Karl Slym"

And... how is this a "banker"?

"a U.K.-based communications director"


ZH starting to make the tabloid press look like it reports hard facts every time.... Desperate!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 02:27 | 4546784 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

These messy suicides are just rude.  They delay everyone on the trains, and a bunch of people have to clean up the mess. A big hassle for everyone and extremely narcissistic for someone who wants to end it all.  Same with jumping off buildings. At least be kind enough to land on another building not in the street. Or jump off a bridge into the river, or the cold, cold sea.  Better still, imho, get yourself a shitload of smack and end your miserable life on a euphoric note.  Clean and easy.  All these "look at me now" deaths are just not doing it for me. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:07 | 4542258 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Keep 'em coming...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:10 | 4542264 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

the next train will arrive in 30 minutes

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:09 | 4542426 PT
PT's picture

Now you got me thinking.  Were there any banksters on that plane that went missing?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:12 | 4542437 PT
PT's picture

Tyler, can you keep the dates on the tally?  We need to map and see where this thing goes parabolic.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:09 | 4542261 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

“Eddie was a great guy,”....

how original...

and if he had killed some people it would have been:

"Eddie was alway this sillent guy,"...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:12 | 4542268 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

I appreciate the people that dont decide to take others with them. Want to check out, no problem...but leave everyone else out of it.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:16 | 4542280 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

at least the japanese do it in style. they don't bother anybody.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:28 | 4542313 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yea but in the end, the talkers didn't end up killing anybody execpt themselves.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:02 | 4542403 holmes
holmes's picture

Gotta wonder why he would off himself in such a public way Its gotta be really tough for his family. And why inconvience 1,000s of strangers (unless he wanted to stick it to the LIRR-understandable. LIRR, the scum that automatically get dissbility when they retire). And why do it in such a painful, if quick way.

So many questions.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:25 | 4542485 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I've heard the body basically explodes if you jump in front of one of those LIRR express trains.

growing up on LI, I think death by train would be on my list of possibles if I wanted to end it.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:20 | 4542474 V in PA
V in PA's picture

He could've taken a few of his colleagues with him, or anyone in the Goldman Sachs building, and I wouldn't have complained.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:37 | 4542523 Caggge
Caggge's picture

I would appreciate if you want to check out.....take some evil mo-foooker with you. Wrap yourself in TNT and give Jon Corzine a big fookin hug.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:14 | 4542272 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

Eddie was a great guy, no chances that the train would miss him...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:19 | 4542287 FlipFlop
FlipFlop's picture

You are kind of hyperactive with you commenting?

This could be just binominal variation, ie for the same reason all busses seem to arrive at the same time.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:32 | 4542322 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

Or could be the hyperactive avatar

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:26 | 4542307 Independent
Independent's picture

Everybody at work was wiping the sweat of their brows thankful Eddy didnt decide to take out the office staff with him but instead decided to go out solo.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:57 | 4542389 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

If I was on that commuter train, I'd take the time to piss on his corpse.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:13 | 4542269 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

When can we expect to see a rash of politicians start with these antics?  

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:15 | 4542277 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

The percentage of suicides amongst bankers is still probably amongst the lowest compared to most occupations as a percentage of the total number of people employed in the finance industry.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:16 | 4542281 spellbound
spellbound's picture

@Sudden Debt. You don't know the guy and what motivated him to do it. Are you trying for the Callousness award?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:18 | 4542286 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

I think it was a bit of sarcasm and he quoted part of the article...... there are some very tasty decaffinated flavors out there...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:47 | 4543169 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

People, let's all stop and try to appreciate the gravity of the situation.
And the horizontal velocity component too.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:19 | 4542285 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

This one might actually be a real suicide. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:24 | 4542293 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

The most disappointing rate of suicide is amongst politicians.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:23 | 4542297 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Now before we jump to conclusions (sorry couldn't help it), how do we even know this was related to his job?  Maybe he got caught with kiddie porn and the heat was coming down.  Nah, probably just blew up his book and was dreading the morning meeting.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:25 | 4542306 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Or something may have upset his train of thought.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:40 | 4542346 therevolutionwas
therevolutionwas's picture

and derailed he entire life.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:11 | 4542432 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Actually I think he was on track.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:50 | 4543181 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

I hear that train a'comin
It's coming 'round the bend....

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:17 | 4543343 StychoKiller
Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:24 | 4542300 agent default
agent default's picture

Why such a high number?  Is something about to break big time, or were they under investigation or what?  Any link between them?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:38 | 4542341 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

..... The Link? Professional cheaters, living and dying by lying and decpetion.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:26 | 4542310 X86BSD
X86BSD's picture

Train spotting.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:28 | 4542314 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Home Depot in Jericho was sold out of nail guns i guess.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:30 | 4542319 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Even in death these stupid assholes make life miserable for their fellow man.

Learn to use a fucking belt in a doorway and stop screwing with the trains, bitchez.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:31 | 4542321 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

A smile won't cross my face until the Rothchilds are doing the lemming thing...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:32 | 4542323 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

Even in death, this douchebag banker was selfish.  Im guessing that caused massive delays for trains which likely caused thousands of people to be late for work.....or school...or whatever. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:32 | 4542324 Atrica
Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:35 | 4542334 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

East Norwich?!?  What a pleb.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:43 | 4542554 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

I remember when the real players had a standing parlor car rental on a train out of Oyster Bay. I think most of them had limos to meet them in Long Island City. It was a club... and we weren't in it.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:35 | 4542335 Catullus
Catullus's picture

The BLS is making a modeling adjust for banker suicides now.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:37 | 4542339 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

He must of read ZH for the first time the night before!

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:39 | 4542342 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

some pretty cold stuff here.....can't wait for someone you know & love passes............glee at others death.........sick

no ideology or philosophy or economic or political argument in the world is worth or justifies the coldness


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:51 | 4542369 forwardho
forwardho's picture

I make no excuses, and compleatly agree, but look to the culture we live in today. They are but products of that enviroment. By the time a child has reached the age of 12 they have experienced 10.000 deaths from TV alone.

We have become a cold, ugly society.


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:52 | 4542371 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

Let us pause for a moment of silence for the fallen trader. 




Thank you. Now back to your regulary scheduled programming of droning wedding parties and violently inciting rebellion and insurrection of foreign governments without a thought for the thousands of lives we destroy. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:39 | 4543127 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Your comment, "can't wait for someone you know & love passes", negates your complaint. Why bother?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:39 | 4542345 10mm
10mm's picture

Just another victim of divorce and laws going against a penis.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:54 | 4542379 The Pop In
The Pop In's picture

In what is probably the most corrupt high stakes industry on the planet, a little "house cleaning" is bound to happen. It is rather surprising that numbers like this were not reported during the 2009 melt down. The timing of these deaths means something, but we may not know what "it" is until later, if ever.

"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre." Frank Zappa, 1977

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 08:56 | 4542386 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

These are the 'wise' bankers sparing their families the embarrassment of seeing them on the news hanging from a lamp post or decapitated in a dumpster in some seedy back alley. After all, when the masses realize they have been 'duped' by Washington and Wall St. that is what will happen. The 'dumb' ones are the ones who continue the farse with brazen disregard...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:06 | 4542406 iLiquid
iLiquid's picture

There was another violent banker death today in Beijing, China, where a male former employee committed suicide in the headquarters of China Galaxy Securities.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:07 | 4542415 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

someone help them.

stop this slaughter


mr soros,rockerfella skank,jacob rothschild do something.

forget about save the whale


show them love

give them a cuddle

stroke them

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:08 | 4542420 pies_lancuchowy
pies_lancuchowy's picture

BS article. As they say , 7th suicide this year in the US by a financier.

Guess what, statistically there probably ought be a little more o this.

Stop spreading CHEAP sensations, while there are some other really interesting stuff going on. Come on, ZH .

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:12 | 4542440 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

My Tally 19 (13 This Year): 11 Bankers (4 JPMorgan) & 8 Financial/Other


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:16 | 4542456 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

The VBDX index (Volatility Banker Death Index) just slipped down of its 50 MDA.

Short term Very Bearish, Long term neutral.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:19 | 4542464 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Ten finance people scattered around the world of ten billion people and ZH folk slobber over this as if banking is collapsing.  Geez.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:03 | 4542619 Rodders75
Rodders75's picture



What happened to the Russian "Me Bank" that was supposed to be seeing a bank run? 


A nice dose of ZH alarmism once again. 

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:25 | 4542487 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

“Eddie was a great guy, always generous with the blow,” Rob Schaffer, a managing director at Vertical, told The Post in an email. “We are very upset and he will be deeply missed since he always insisted on paying for the hookers too.”

All these victims are always terrific people. Never a mention as to their pecadillos - just great people who made no enemies or mistakes, never fucked up or kicked the cat. Always loved everyone and were the life and soul of the party.

This bollocks is pimped and pumped GLOBALLY for victim du jour and it sucks. OK - dead trader - sad . But the standard treatment is to read from a pre-written playbook. Have there been any teary eyed interviewees yet? That's stage 2.

And the rewrite wasn't done by me - I was MiMed as I wrote the comment (My! they're getting quick at this..)

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:27 | 4542493 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

A lateral move to the Horizontal Group...

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:27 | 4542498 Judge Crater
Judge Crater's picture

Maybe the last straw was the letter he got from Amazon indicating that the cost of his Amazon Prime membership was going up to $99 a year.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:29 | 4542505 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:46 | 4542565 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

Reminds me of a Steven King character "The pusher" had nothing to do with drugs.  Okay, now for a recap bankers should avoid, water, tall buildings, nail guns, regular guns and trains. That about cover it?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 09:51 | 4542579 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Oh, I've been just dying to catch that train, too.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 10:24 | 4542715 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

No politicians?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:16 | 4542993 AuEagleNest
AuEagleNest's picture



Passengers on the west-bound express train told MTA investigators they saw a man standing by the tracks, talking to Frank Underwood, before he jumped in front of the train, Arena said.

Fixed it.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:30 | 4543067 exartizo
exartizo's picture

Sadly Mr. Reilly was trying to leave this world, possibly in search of another one?

The Only Way to escape this world Alive is through Jesus Christ.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:33 | 4543094 William Wics
William Wics's picture

I'm confused.

The report is that he "jumped in front of an LIRR train station." I've never heard of anyone committing suicide by jumping in front of a train *station*. How does that work? Was he killed by passing traffic? Hmmmm.


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 11:47 | 4543167 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Good times.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:08 | 4543184 SameAsItEverWas
SameAsItEverWas's picture

the nail gun incident in CO makes no sense as a suicide because anyone over 21 there can buy a handgun, so how do we know it wasn't an accident?

as usual, no perspective.  ten suicides out of how many "bankers" ... in the entire world?

and not all of these ten are confirmed as suicides.  at least the nail gun makes no sense at all.

cherry picking?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:20 | 4543305 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

A sense of humor is the best weapon we have against this dystopian Fabian freakout. Keep your sense of humor, or you could be next.

And the winner is: delusional eugenist Elizabeth Warren and her legions of socialist parasites, who now have 4 fresh victims to work over on our dime. Second place: the necrophiliac at the morgue. Third place: Hot Pockets.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:35 | 4543459 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

They were doing God's work!

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 12:35 | 4543460 whatthecurtains
whatthecurtains's picture

Sounds like this guy was just having a tough time losing his wife and whatnot.   Had he jumped off the JPM building that would have been different.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 13:28 | 4543758 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Once a Rockefeller, some visiting Euro Rothschild Weasel, or maybe even a local hedge fund creep splats himself from the top of some glittering NYC Crime Tower it'll be real news.

The nail gun thing, though. Man, that's freaky suspiscious and obviuously homicide.

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 15:18 | 4544424 monad
monad's picture

How many educated professionals commit suicide by jumping in front of trains?

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 16:03 | 4544649 zipit
zipit's picture

The Witness Elimination Program strikes again.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 04:40 | 4554240 Overdrawn
Overdrawn's picture

Wonder if this new suicide or suicided craze will catch on with politicians, hope so.

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