It Has Been A Horrible Week For The Secretariat Of State

Tyler Durden's picture


If anyone ever said John Kerry - arguably the worst Secretariat of State in recent US history - didn't know how to look regal in photo ops of failure after epic failure, they obviously have never this picture. Such majesty, such posture, such a shiny coat. Just don't look him in the mouth.


And just in case the SoS felt bad about abusing taxpayer funds for a completely meaningless, if quite luxurious, trip to London where the Russians once again schooled the US Department of State, here comes Venezuela's foreign minister who just called Kerry a "murderer." From Reuters:

Venezuela's foreign minister lambasted U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry on Friday as a "murderer" fomenting unrest that has killed 28 people in the South American OPEC member nation.


"Mr. Kerry, we denounce to the whole world, you encourage the violence in Venezuela ... We denounce you as a murderer of the Venezuelan people."


"In Guatemala, you said to me 'you have to lower the tone'," Jaua added in his speech. "We are not going to lower the tone to any empire until you order your lackeys in Venezuela to cease the violence against the people."


"Every time we're about to isolate and reduce the violence, Mr. Kerry comes out with a declaration and immediately the street protests are activated."

Probably a good, if blunt, way to summarize Kerry's job performance. The good news: after a week like this, things can only get better for the Swift botox expert. Unless they don't.

h/t @Neringa25

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Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:33 | 4549568 Iocosus
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"I decided to look like an asshat after initially deciding against it."

John Kerry

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:37 | 4549590 john39
john39's picture



Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:45 | 4549631 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Such a long week for Kerry....oh well, time to go to the Bahamas on a yacht, drinking some nice tequila and relax for the weekend! Might see some fireworks also! (Just over in Ukraine)

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:50 | 4549656 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

He's always sticking out his tongue after every sentence spoken, and it drives me nuts.  In this pic, is he crying?  Looks to me like a picture of defeat / regret / obligation / apathy / loss.  Very telling.


Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4549683 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

We're coming down the homestretch of the Great Ponzi and Kerry pulled up lame. Up next: the glue factory.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:14 | 4549777 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

The picture in the article looks like Kerry is actually soiling himself.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:26 | 4549820 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Secretariat =/= secretary.     Or is it a humorous reference to the famous race horse?

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:34 | 4549866 macholatte
macholatte's picture



it has been a horrible week for the world.

America, look what you have done to yourself. Look what you have done to everyone else.


We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

Benjamin Franklin

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 19:26 | 4550225 Reptil
Reptil's picture

Kimberly Marten (CFR) thinks it's all a jolly good laugh
toecurling talk on prime time tv

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:20 | 4550407 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I'm sorry, I dont have any Grey Poupon

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 01:00 | 4551226 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

If the Republicons don't take back the Senate from these inept Decepticrats, they're all braindead!

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 03:23 | 4551350 Element
Element's picture

er ... but the Democraps and Republicunts both are brain dead.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:36 | 4549872 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



It is a humorous reference one that I can't stop laughing about.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:58 | 4549942 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

"Just don't look him in the mouth."  LMFAO!!!

You only inspect the horse's teeth if you're about to buy it.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:25 | 4550033 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



Neigh that's not a horse I would want in my stable (tears in my eyes now from laughing)

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:38 | 4550073 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Hey John you look overworked,fancy going for a curry later.

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 08:23 | 4551533 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Who would want to grab those lips to open the mouth...ostensibly to look at the teeth. Eeew! Nasty!
Secretariat of State !
I love it!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:57 | 4550139 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

Kerry aka Hoerseface

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 23:39 | 4551042 pigs-n-space
pigs-n-space's picture

You mean horses ass. Thats the way I see it.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:27 | 4550433 MarsInScorpio
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The horse, obviously, when everyone is calling you "horse face."


Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:27 | 4549826 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well played, Tyler!

Anybody seen this comedy piece about our friend, Andrew Ross Foreskin?

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 19:42 | 4550281 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Lavrov:  "Get your hand off my chest you spineless weasel."

Kerry:  "Sorry...didn't get my oats this morning."

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:39 | 4550461 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Lavrov: "Did you just cut a fart ?"

Kerry: "They can't Putin' back in the bottle ! "   the Genie is out.

Lavrov: "you stink"

Kerry: "I'm going to cry !"

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:00 | 4549715 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

Or, up next:  the Great False Flag uniting all bootlickers and I mean, Democrips and Rebloodlicans

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:40 | 4549888 LMAOLORI
Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:45 | 4549906 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Thank goodness all my assets fell out of my neighbors boat.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 22:56 | 4550917 Unknown User
Unknown User's picture

Oh, look it's Forbes, they gone brain-dead some years ago. Their twists of logic are truly nauseating. So I only read it when I feel a need to vomit.

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 03:32 | 4551352 Element
Element's picture

And if the Ukraine joins the Euro club that schwine will definitely seize their assets. 'Tis ok though, as 'assets' is a fancy double-think  which means 'debt liabilities', so they'll integrate perfectly with that system.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:01 | 4549720 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Well, when you decide to bluff, holding a pair of deuces...

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:05 | 4549743 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture


Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:28 | 4549831 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

So where's the betting thread about the coming false flag?

I'm calling a mysterious 777 loaded with radioactives and Semtex, detonating 2000 feet above Austin, TX.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:48 | 4549914 Talleyrand
Talleyrand's picture

Good riddance South by So What.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:13 | 4549992 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Mary Celeste 777 zombie plane will show up in one of Larry Silverstein's builidngs after the thermite is installed.

Israeli movers will be junping up and down in Hoboken again.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:00 | 4549721 Arius
Arius's picture

we all know about digital pictures ... pictures as proof, yeah whats next you read it on the internet?

Kerry lavrov is still the best hope for peace! these guys are the only ones who can convince their bosses to come to the table!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:20 | 4549802 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Kerry lavrov is still the best hope for peace! these guys are the only ones who can convince their bosses to come to the table!

"We're freakin' doomed."
The Mogambo Guru

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4549684 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

What is wrong for Amerika!? How is "government for people, by people" so full of idiot!? Incompetency like is happen today is cannot possibly happen by mistake!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:02 | 4549726 Arius
Arius's picture

why idiots amigo?  dont like democrats?

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:19 | 4549799 FlipFlop
FlipFlop's picture

Well, leaders are a reflection of electorate?

But no reason to fell ashame, similar idiots occupy similar positions everywhere you look.

I am kind of tired of this Putin is the crook discussion. He is acting very peacefully and just doing what he is expected to do. How quickly did everyone forget the basic facts of how this thing started?

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:22 | 4549809 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
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Obomba at the top, community organizer and one-term State Senator

Then Biden, ceritifed village idiot

Kerry, do-nothing patrician empty suiter

Sibelius, never saw a bureaucratic fuckup she didn't like

Susan Rice, clueless liberal Berkeley, coined the term "humanitarian bombing"

Samantha Powers, equally clueless bureaucrat who never held a real job in her life

Jack Lew, butt-boy for the global banking masters

Eric Holder, criminal negligence in action

I mean you couldn't find a weaker team if you tried

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:22 | 4550019 grgy
grgy's picture

@OpenthepodbaydoorHAL  You are absolutely correct in not being able to find a weaker team. Throw Yellen in there too and you've got all Obama's top picks.  But what could one expect from probably the most incompetent president in history?  I mean seriously...

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 19:24 | 4550220 newbie vampire
newbie vampire's picture

Look at what is to come, Hitlery Clinton POTUS 2016.  Its not raining, its a flood.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:53 | 4550505 HardlyZero
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2016 Coven of four: Yellen, Hillary, K. Sebelius, Christine Lagarde. 

Brewin' some Putin in the Ukraine cauldron.

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 08:41 | 4551547 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

No way.  When Fascism needs the unconstitutional or illegal they turn to the Bush house of the damned -- been doing the bidding of Fascism since 1912.

Jeb installed 2016.

(mark this post)

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:37 | 4550468 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Well said, Open...  I'd give you twenty up votes if I could. Let me add two points to strengthen yours.

1. Liberals of the leftist type perennial go for weak minded morons. The most important quality is that they SAY the right things and bite their lips with emotion at the right times. Competency is considered suspicious.

2. Arrogant wannabee autocrats always have to pick people dumber than themselves. They MUST be the smartest person in the room and actual intelligence and competence is a real threat. Obama is a true "empty suit" with a generally empty head except for leftist doctrine, platitudes and even anger. To get dumber than Obama you have to have a Biden, Kerry and Hillary...all true morons. You need an enabler like Holder who can sort of block for you and is thoroughly corrupted. Ask Marc Rich how much his favoritism costs.

Welcome to America where perhaps we are electing the idiots that represent at least 51% of who we have become...dependent, weak minded, lazy serfs.

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 00:42 | 4551195 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"A people hire A people. B people hire C people." -- Steve Jobs

"C people hire F people"-- B. Banzai

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 15:00 | 4552407 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I did not realize Jobs wrote that. It is absolutely true and fits into my theory of why virtually all companies fail over time. However, that is another discussion.

The good thing about companies is that the damage is self limiting. With government we get to spread the failure around.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:47 | 4550494 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

and....Kerry makes Love, not War.  Kerry quit fighting 40 years ago and don't think he has fought for anything since Vietnam.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 22:09 | 4550756 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Then why are they still actively exercising their incompetence?

Sat, 03/15/2014 - 08:38 | 4551542 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

So, what makes anyone think Team Weak is not the goal?!

Hard to fabricate the future with spines in your nominees.

If this wasn't all "by accident" then someone would see something coming, which means culpability

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