Kerry Summary: "There Will Be Costs"

Tyler Durden's picture


Kerry speaks. The punchline:


And of course, the hollow threats - the costs are back.


Everything else was superfluous:


But before you accuse him of slacking, Kerry put in a solid workday into it:


In summary: Kerry came, spoke with Lavrov, and all he had to show for it was some $50k in taxpayer funds spent for the first class ticket to London.

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Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:47 | 4548477 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Fuck you Rothschilds!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:54 | 4548506 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

All the rest was mean like Lurch himself???

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:06 | 4548548 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

So Russia sizes Crimea and the Black Sea and all the West can do is ban a couple of dozen guys (millionaires and billionaires) from travelling to the West??

What a fucking joke.

Costs my ass. Putin and Lavrov are eating your lunch you dumb bastard.

What are you going to do? Piss away the strategic reserve just to save some credibility? What a joke.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:11 | 4548594 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

Crimea and the Black Sea are ALREADY Russian and have been since the 1700s. All that's going on here is a redrawing of lines on a map. Or from another perspective, you could say the Russians are reaffirming ownership of what's already theirs.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:13 | 4548607 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

posession being 9/10's of the law

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:25 | 4548650 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I'm of the belief that while Kerry isn't very sharp, the guys above him who are calling the shots are.  I'm not talking about POTUS.  More than likely this is a trade giving Putin what he wants in exchange for something the west wants.  Everything we are seeing is staged to give it a look of authenticity.  Remember O's comment that he'd be more flexible in his second term.  Also, our next POTUS is no longer on the main stage making a fool of herself.  They gave that honor to Kerry.

There are many other signs that this is not for real, one of which is that the stock market isn't selling off and gold/silver are being kept in check.

When shots & missles are fired, bombs go off, and people die, I will reassess.


Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:37 | 4548699 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Then-Sen. John Kohn, ahem- Kerry helped "investigate" BCCI, so that may help us see who his string pullers are.

That said, look at the US position:

Coups good. Referendums bad.

Better call Dustin Hoffman and Willie Nelson, 'cause that dog won't hunt. Not even a billion-dollar PR machine can spin that position into an American moral high ground.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:36 | 4548692 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

If the Ruskies don't have any rights over swaths of land they've been living in for well over 2 centuries and where they are the majority, then what right does any people have over the places they inhabit? For example, what right would Washington have to rule over California, Florida, Hawaii (all of them annexed or conquered more recently than 1800)?

Speaking of possession, and speaking of the U.S., someone should explain that concept to what's left of the white people living in the border states. All this ethnic rivalry shit that's going on in Ukraine may well be the future of Cali, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. Maybe. Hopefully not.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:12 | 4548604 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

kerry, not willing to take steps without his bridle on


dont shoot yourself in the hoof john

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:51 | 4548763 UpAndComing
UpAndComing's picture

Ukraine and Russia go back to Kievan Rus'...this shit we're trying to pull is funny to Putin. He has a very specific agenda and he couldn't give a shit less about John and Barry's rhetoric.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 14:59 | 4549084 Dr. Everett V. Scott
Dr. Everett V. Scott's picture



Kerry is such a bumbling idiot.  He doesn't understand that you don't make public threats!


But Kerry has publicly drawn a line in the sand, so Russia has no choice but to publicly spit in his eye.  Instead, this should have been done behind the scenes. Then Russia might have decided that the economic costs aren't worth it.  At least, there would be a chance. Now there is none.


Kerry has left Putin no choice: he has to push back. And Kerry will look like the fool that he is.


Is there ANY situation that this Administration doesn't make worse by it's incompetent meddling? Anything?

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 15:33 | 4549252 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Public threats are for the sheep.  They love that shit.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:54 | 4548511 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Kerry: "Lily! Lily! Those Russians were mean to me! Lily!"

Al Lewis: "My son in law, the horse-faced jackass..."

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:08 | 4548574 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

and Putin is "Spot" under the stairs, breathing fire and not going anywhere...

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:08 | 4548575 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

Ukraine mess is more wall street shit than City, so, why Rothschilds and not Soros with his NED and fucking Nulland girl

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:54 | 4549681 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

More idle threats

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:47 | 4548480 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

did pesci put kerry's head in the vice again?  its amazing he still has both eyes....

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:48 | 4548482 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I know we call him horseface, but other equines have long faces too.  Particularly Donkeys.  What we have here is simply the jawboning of an ass. 

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:14 | 4548608 AbbeBrel
AbbeBrel's picture

I wonder who cuts his hair!   And I would like to know his tailor!!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:48 | 4548485 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

And just like that, risk off.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:54 | 4548510 zaphod
zaphod's picture

US Natural Gas MLPS are going up today, moar money is all the US cares about.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:55 | 4548487 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Six hours of looking at the gelatinous churn that is Kerry's face is actually, I believe, an excellent negotiation ploy!  These guys at the State Dept. really do know something!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:49 | 4548488 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Nobody takes Lurch seriously anymore.

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:54 | 4548507 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

Uncle Herman and no we don't

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:49 | 4548489 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

You forgot to mention the Benefits!

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:49 | 4548490 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Aww. John.. why the long face? 

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:49 | 4548492 KenShabby
KenShabby's picture

The sound and the fury of empty arm chair warriors who couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag if they had to.


Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:50 | 4548493 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my yacht for the weekend."

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:52 | 4548496 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

There actually was a candid conversation, the two of them were just manically laughing and commenting on how their evil scheme could not be stopped...



Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:04 | 4548497 Mercury
Mercury's picture

    That almost sounds like he maybe accomplished something!

    But on the flight home he might as well ask the stewardess for one of those world map placemats and a pack of crayons to help himself get used to the idea of what that part of the world will look like after the referendum.

    Don't press down too hard with the red, you have a lot of area to cover.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:52 | 4548498 PlusTic
    PlusTic's picture

    Bad theater, all it is on the part of Kerry/US.  These guys talk a big game, and never play.  They are dealing with a fromer KGB guy in Putin, good luck with the usual b.s. western rhetoric.   Putin is laughing as he moves another chess piece while the US is playing drunk checkers.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:54 | 4548513 UGrev
    UGrev's picture

    Playing Checkers denotes some understanding of strategy, even if drunk. These fuckers are playing pictionary and can't draw for shit.. 

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:53 | 4548504 yogibear
    yogibear's picture

    John Kerry Plastic Surgery Before and After Photos:

     Botox, Face-Lift, Facial fillers, Brow Lift and Nose job



    Once a Lurch always a Lurch.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:02 | 4548545 ParkAveFlasher
    ParkAveFlasher's picture

    I can understand chicks chasing eternal youthful beauty, to try to woo men forever, and failing in the chase miserably because the road in life goes one way, in the direction of gravity, but a man should never subject himself to this sort of terrible disfigurement for any reason.  It is a rare kind of vanity or insecurity or crippling lack of self-awareness that is displayed by this kind of behavior. 

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:03 | 4548550 Tenshin Headache
    Tenshin Headache's picture

    You don't want the Secretary of State having any gravitas.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:55 | 4548514 fijisailor
    fijisailor's picture

    After seeing Kerry speak it's obvious that Putin is in control of the situation.  There will be no war and Russia will do what they want.  Any "consequences" by the US will be useless and only backfire.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:55 | 4548515 22winmag
    22winmag's picture

    Attention brave men and women in the U.S. military: fake ass John Kohn (aka Kerry) is your fake ass Commander in Chief's top diplomat.


    It's high time someone step up and hold these fools accountable.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:56 | 4548520 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture




    talk is cheap

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 12:58 | 4548526 disabledvet
    disabledvet's picture

    I think Lavrov's days are numbered as it appears the Crimean "vote" is a kick off to a full fledged Russian invasion of Ukraine. If that happens then obviously no one will be listening to Lavrov anymore (least of all the Russians.)

    They'll need to head straight to Kiev and take the capital and once they take the capital then start securing the outer regions.
    This will not be easy as these things never go off without "delays." You also have the "slight" problem of Ukraine having been independent for an entire Generation. I think the theory that the "West" is decadent and weak here is delusional beyond belief.

    Obviously this is being done without ANY thought to the consequences...let alone implications.
    The West might reserve the right to respond. The West might respond as well.

    I see ZERO fall back position for Putin. He will simply be alienated from the West...permanently. HE is the problem here. This is all HIS doing. Is there a difference between the Kiev Rus and "Mother Russia"? I'm no expert but we might be about to find out.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:10 | 4548590 astoriajoe
    astoriajoe's picture

    "I see ZERO fall back position for Putin. He will simply be alienated from the West.."

    I don't think he gives a shit.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 14:43 | 4549002 zookeep
    zookeep's picture

    I don't think he was invited to the Oscars. Putin already feels alienated.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:23 | 4548627 Zerozen
    Zerozen's picture

    You must be out of your delusional little mind if you think the hypocritical West can reserve the right to do anything in Ukraine or has any kind of moral high ground whatsoever. This is worse than Syria. Many people never liked the guy who got chased out of Kiev a few weeks ago but fact is he was democratically, fairly elected in 2010. The US/EU-backed gov't in charge now was installed by puppetmasters, not voted in, on the back of weeks of violent rioting, again backed by the West and with the dirty work done by far-right weirdo groups. How is any of this Putin's fault? All the events of the last few weeks have been offensive actions from the West. The Russians are REACTING. There is an anti-Russian, illegitimate gov't in control in Kiev right now, wtf did you think the Russians were going to do? Roll over and beg?

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 14:02 | 4548819 TheFourthStooge-ing
    TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

    You have to keep in mind that disabledvet enjoys posting comments while actively hallucinating. It's a metal plate in the head thing.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 20:41 | 4550478 StychoKiller
    StychoKiller's picture

    All Russia has to do is kick back and watch the chaos in the Ukraine, until they beg Putin to restore order.  The EU is broke and doesn't have enough soldiers (or spine) to be of any help.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:00 | 4548533 Colonel Klink
    Colonel Klink's picture

    There will be costs, to the major stock and bond holders in the US once your bluff gets called.

    Kerry's not a horse, but a jackass.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:00 | 4548534 JR
    JR's picture

    Kerry has no cards to play. There is only one person with cards to play and that’s the one who has tanks, planes, helicopters and troops on the ground.

    Where are Merkel’s troops?

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 13:19 | 4548624 Ifigenia
    Ifigenia's picture

    Why Merkel? This is not her war. This is USA 1% war.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 14:14 | 4548870 JR
    JR's picture

    Angela Merkel speaks Russian and she is the feather in the wind between Russian resolve to stop a banker campaign to continually expand its debt slavery and the superpower involvement of the Fed-controlled U.S.

    There will be no war because the odds militarily are on the side that holds the hill, namely Vlad's.

    As Stalin said: "How many division does the Pope have?" The bankers have a lot of divisions, you say. Yes, but they aren't there. What are they going to do, air lift troops? Russia's a nuclear power and you don't mess with her at this point.

    In short, this is not the U.S.; these are internationalists. Do you call Stanley Fischer a U.S. official? No. He's an internationalist. We've gone beyond the U.S.

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 14:27 | 4548932 Ifigenia
    Ifigenia's picture

    Stanley Fischer is USA FED vicepresident. the 1%

    Fri, 03/14/2014 - 15:11 | 4549137 JR
    JR's picture

    I misunderstood. You're right; he's the 1% and it's their war.

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