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Crimea Referendum Voter Turnout At 73%; EU Rejects "Illegal, Illegitimate" Vote, Seeks "Additional Measures"

Tyler Durden's picture


"No provocations have been reported. The situation is quiet and under control," notes Crimea's Prime Minister Sergei Aksynov (despite plenty of chatter of pro-Ukraine buildings being attacked by pro-Russian supporters in Donetsk and Kharkiv). However, what is perhaps more important is that Interfax reports, voter turnout at Sunday's referendum on Crimea' future status had reached 73% by 6 p.m. (8 p.m. Moscow time), according to a posting on the referendum's website. That is higher than every US presidential election since 1900. European leaders remain dissatisfied with this "illegal and illegitimate" vote, demand Russian forces drop back to pre-crisis levels, and are preparing new EU sanctions for Monday.






But European leaders are not for the democracy...


So Barroso and Van Rompuy are not amused - we wonder what Frau Merkel thinks...


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Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:48 | 4555095 Yoki
Yoki's picture

Why can't we just leave it all to Victoria Nulland and Natalia Poklonskaya.


Sorry guys, wet dream


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:51 | 4555106 HarryWanqer
HarryWanqer's picture

Boys we have a big problem. This referendum is now more legitimate than the EU referendums. Suggestions?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:54 | 4555126 Yoki
Yoki's picture

Here's one, lets replace all the politicians with Porn models. I guarantee they'll do a much better job. But we'll keep Victoria and Natalia, these two will be smoking hot in one bedroom

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:58 | 4555142 _ConanTheLibert...
Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:02 | 4555157 Yoki
Yoki's picture

Ok, I stand corrected,


Cicciolina, Victoria Nulland and Natalia Poklonskaya will have this crisis eaten up in no time!


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:03 | 4555160 Yoki
Yoki's picture

oh yeah, and you know what, FUCK THE EU

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:15 | 4555195 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

the people have spoken

an now will be ignored

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4555239 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

The EU's hypocrisy knows no bounds.  Had the plebicite gone the other way... the EU "Leaders" would be hailing it as a great, free, democratic process.  Because they're not getting their way... it's all illegitimate.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4555259 knukles
knukles's picture


Send in the SEALS and kill 'em all, the lying untrustworthy lawless oligarchical Godless socialists... er wait.... where?  Never mind....

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:33 | 4555272 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Suck it Nudelman, suck it real hard!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4555315 knukles
knukles's picture

Typical fucking Europeans.
You'd think it was August.
Gonna meet tomorrow...

.... real sense of importance, it being Sunday, and all...
.... so why the fuck they get Sunday off, it's a religious holiday, FFS...

... making Vlad the Bad shiver, shiver I say...

...and when they meet TOMORROW, then they'll make some decisions...

... like what's for dinner...

... fuckin' tell ya', what's for dinner is either at a 5* restaurant in Brussels or penis... yeah, that's what for dinner, penis...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:44 | 4555331 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

They'll meet tomorrow to draft up a new "we strongly condemn this vote" letter

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4555358 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Before or after the penis?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:19 | 4555490 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

that would be "Penis a la mode" with a delicate blend of "azz" on the tip.......our azz to be exact......

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 22:04 | 4557089 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Oh, you're just being rude.


The 'other 27%' (or, 16%, as reported) might be (MIGHT BE!) willing to get along with the E.U. debt model (or, in your parlance, taking the tip of the penis in the rectum for mother Crimea). IF 99.5% of the 27% or the 16% had voted thusly, then the actual vote by 100% of the voting population would be... (SHIT, my calculator just broke as I tapped the numbers in. Would you care to do the calculations?)

OH, it's a 51%/49% split, just like the selections of 49% of the eligible votors in the 2012 selections in the CONUS...

What was that guy's name that got assasinated, causing WWI to start, anyway? Archduke Ferdinand? Barry Soetoro? Valerie Jarrett? That 'Boroso' dude?


All you plebes think about is anal sex, as the world is being torn apart once again. Well, I admit that putting my Johnson in a young nubile girl's bottom is pleasurable and all (they all really want that, you know?), it is a far cry from thinking the subject and working the issues at hand (which, if solved correctly, will allow you to do this sex act freely once again).

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:51 | 4555371 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

If you're using the voice and character of "Frau Farbissina" in Austin Powers, I could see the scary if comical effect.  :-)

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:27 | 4555531 douglas
douglas's picture

The US and European MSM agrees with the official govt position - ¨The election in Crimea is clearly ilegal and invalid¨

In other unrelated news...  This past week Kim Jong Un won 100% of the Parliamentary votes of his constituency.  Official state media reports that this is unquestionably an expression of The People´s absolute support and profound trust in Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un - as they singlemindedly remain loyal to him, holding him in high esteem.¨

- Gotta love it!
Mon, 03/17/2014 - 00:17 | 4557382 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Frau Farbissina knows.

Lies, all LIES!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:29 | 4555246 Yoki
Yoki's picture

And now that they are ignored, unleash the Algo's


Oh yeah and you know what, FUCK THE EU.

And FUCK THE bitch that downs me all the time, dead brain beat, dickless mf

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4555377 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Uhm, Nuland is not actractive.  

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:29 | 4555249 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

80-86% of Americans were against Obamacare almost all the polls showed. 

We know how that turned out.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:44 | 4555330 Missiondweller
Missiondweller's picture

In the 2012, Obama got 100% of the vote in some precinct!

So how could anyone doubt  the 73% turn out?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4555356 knukles
knukles's picture

Not only 100% of the vote, but 100+% turnout

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:59 | 4555400 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Not only 100% of the vote, but 100+% turnout

Including the guy who has been dead 20 years.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4555241 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

...and the horse it rode in on.

What if the people embraced the EUSSR. Would the EUSSR still object?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:02 | 4555159 jaap
jaap's picture

Hey, we Dutch we also allowed to vote for the Lisbon treaty... and voted no.

I guess that is the way it will also go here...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:22 | 4555220 agent default
agent default's picture

I think this is one of the few times that the people will not be ignored.  Not because of principles mind you, but because it suits the interests of another powerful entity.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:24 | 4555521 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

It would be prudent for people to question WHY US and NATO need these bases in Crimea so badly. What is going to happen? This is about establishing position for future events?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4555363 bh2
bh2's picture

"Democracy" doesn't have the same meaning in the EU as elsewhere, as Farage keeps pointing out. But eventually it will.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:11 | 4555447 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

I've had the feeling for a while now that eventually democracy will be delivered, by the demos, at the business end of a gun

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4555187 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

If you guys think Victoria Nuland is porn worthy you need to PM me for better suggestions on where to get your Internet pornography!  FFS.


Hell, I bet the SEC crew could give you the hookup on where to go too.  

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4555244 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

You guys just thought that she was talking about the European Union when she said "Fuck the EU!"  In reality, she was talking about porn star Edward Ubersax.  The film started with him in a Ukrainian police uniform as she fed him cookies and other pastries. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:51 | 4555370 knukles
knukles's picture

Why, pray tell, are you intimately aware of such?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:02 | 4555408 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Uhh, ummm, ahhh, well, you see...


Awww, fuckit, I'm a sick fuck.  Besides, trying to come up with an excuse was like watching Obama without a teleprompter. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 15:19 | 4555748 knukles
knukles's picture

Now that is really funny...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 22:13 | 4557104 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

On this subject...

OBAMA without a teleprompter:

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4555498 DutchR
DutchR's picture

lets replace all the politicians with Porn models



Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:04 | 4555144 FlipFlop
FlipFlop's picture

Let's repeat the referendum until we get the right result?

Any better ideas? This is the usual way in the EU.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:21 | 4555508 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Hey but me did vote no,


proving your point

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:04 | 4555161 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

at least they, crimeans, are not pressed like the irish to vote until the result match the propposed Treaty of Lisbon. Too much democracy in Ireland, i think.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:06 | 4555433 Flybyknight
Flybyknight's picture


That devil Putin. Not only did he out play us in Syria but now he is being more democratic than us 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:47 | 4555636 wakeupsheeps
wakeupsheeps's picture

Time to blame Crimea for Climate Change and start the search for WMDs.  That script always works.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 16:29 | 4555977 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

harry - you're back!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 18:03 | 4555171 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

The only legitimate vote is one with Diebold machines in the mix.

You know it's a good election if and only if the exit polls and the announced results differ by at least 3 standard deviations.

/sarc alert/

Clearly the US has firm moral high ground to lecture other countries about voting irregularities and such.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:22 | 4555219 Jannn
Jannn's picture

New York Federal Reserve Lying About Gold Storage

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:12 | 4555452 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

I'm totally shocked. Only gold reserves?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:17 | 4555474 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I´m expecting the Fed to yet again order an attack on phyzz early Monday morning, only to see physical demand overwhelm it´s efforts to depress the price by the start of the trading day in New York.  If your looking for any kind of dip to buy some more phyzz, it may only happen around 0200 EST, but that time window of opportunity may be quite small. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:10 | 4555446 Which is worse ...
Which is worse - bankers or terrorists's picture

Nuke Mosscow.

You know you want to. If you want a system reset, it is certainly one way to do it. 


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:50 | 4555103 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:55 | 4555128 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:05 | 4555162 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

they would cetainly die without the ukranian blood transfusion.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:17 | 4555200 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

"European leaders remain dissatisfied with this "illegal and illegitimate" vote, demand Russian forces drop back to pre-crisis levels, and are preparing new EU sanctions for Monday"

This is laughable. Putin has the cards and the EU/US media is attempting to convince the world that he doesn't.

If Putin wanted to shut up the EU clowns he could simply say 'from now on Russia will take on Rubles or gold for payment of Russian gas and oil.'... and that is only one of his many options.

Even India has said that they are not in favor of sanctions against Russia... so exactly who is really in favor of sanctions? Some, like Germany, are giving lip service to sanctions to make the US happy but when push comes to shove Germany gets a lot of gas/oil from Russia and sells a lot of finished products to Russia and Germany will not do anything to permanently damage their economic relationship with Russia. Merkle is not going to sign a piece of paper implementing economic sanctions against Russia... take it to the bank.




Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:36 | 4555287 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Hey, Snidely...THIS DOES NOT HAVE THE SUPPORT OF THE RED (do you mind that I use that term? People have been flying the Soviet Flag in Crimea) ARMY. (If it did Kiev would already have been taken by now.)

I do agree "the Americans had an election in the middle of the Civil War" (and yes turnout was quite high. It was a competitive election as well I might add unlike this one.)

Once "Europe" gets in my personal view is that the Russian Army will simply surrender.

The news from Reuters is "Crimea is Brother on Brother now."

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:58 | 4555394 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

1) The Russian Army will follow orders from their commander in chief/chain of command, exactly as most armys or otherwise.

2) 'the news from Reuters' is bs.

3) Crimea is not 'brother on brother' for it has been Russian since Catherine the Great made it so. Hell, Crimea announced that they wanted to be placed back into the Russian Federation prior to this vote... iows, Crimea wants no truk with the criminal coup that took place in Kiev and was sponsored by the neo cons (5 billion $).

4) Watch what happens to the Western portion of the Ukraine. It will be another rape/pillage of their resources by Western bankers/oil companies/agri-biz, et al. Did you happen to notice that their gold (33 tons) has already gone missing?

4) You're watching too many neo cons on bubble head tv.


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:15 | 4555458 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

EU is feeling brave now that winter has passed. Maybe not so brave next November.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:54 | 4555380 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And take a Flight.  Preferably on Malaysian Flight 370.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:50 | 4555105 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

EU adds that current regime in Kiev is legitimate even though it came to power in a putsch.

After all, the West is free despite infinite spying by the NSA and GCHQ. And the leader of the free world is a Nobel Prize winner.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:06 | 4555169 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Just because they say it doesn't make it true.

Ever notice that pathological liars build their own Ponzi schemes of lies?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:55 | 4555110 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Putin: want gaz? Then EU is STFU.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:53 | 4555121 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

So many pots meeting kettles these days...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:56 | 4555132 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Yeah, it's deafening.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:53 | 4555122 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

How does that go again????

Oh yah,      FUCK THE E.U.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:55 | 4555131 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Somehow Barosso and the other dictators in Brussels are against any free vote where the outcome doesnt go their way. 

Fuck the EU

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:56 | 4555137 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Peasant Barosso should go back to his farm.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 12:57 | 4555140 Yoki
Yoki's picture


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:32 | 4555555 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

Brussels is Against Free Vote...... ABSOLUTELY CORRECT SIR!!!


These Euro-tard-centric PSYCHOPATHS care not a lick about anything except their little social experiment and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals the misery these pieces of shit have visited on the peoples of Europe and the world in general warrants a good ol' neck stretching in the public square.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:00 | 4555148 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

And that voter turnout is WITH Diebold

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:00 | 4555149 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

The EU is showing their true colors now.


It is only legitimate if we say so.



Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:25 | 4555231 EatYourCornTake...
EatYourCornTakeyourPill's picture

Yeah, it's more legitimate when a country stations 6000-36000 troops on false pretenses and then holds a "referendum" without debates and  having shut down ukrainian news channels while only allowing kremlin owned propoganda channels. Oh yeah with the votes being counted in Moscow. Yeah Fuck the EU! That was totally legitimate!

I also find it hiliarious that Russia needs to point out that voter turnout was so high, on a small island that was occupied by Russian soldiers and with ballots being stuffed. If this was a free vote with free debates, I doubt it very much that Crimea would want to have anything to do with Russia.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4555300 HarryWanqer
HarryWanqer's picture

"Yeah, it's more legitimate when a country stations 6000-36000 troops on false pretenses and then holds a "referendum" without debates..."

Haha, you almost had me! I thought you were talking about US Imperial invasions there for a second!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:44 | 4555333 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

if the people didnt want to vote they could have voluntary" stayed home! so they voted with their feet

what does that tell you ?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4555427 EatYourCornTake...
EatYourCornTakeyourPill's picture

Ever heard of ballot stuffing?

All of these statistics were pre-determined using goalseek on a spreadsheet in Moscow.

Everything else is just "news" in other words circuses

People in Venezuela don't give a shit though because they don't even have the bread.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:32 | 4555543 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

The North and South both voted for their respective sides. "One Voting bloc won"...but it took a war to determine the outcome...and 500,000 dead Americans. This is not Venezuela...but the second largest nuclear arsenal in the world. "Standing by with your talking points" is not an option.

If Frau Merkel is right and we have a "Crazy KGB Colonel" could see 5 million dead 5 minutes.

"No rank, no insignia...and he's launched an ICBM."

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:46 | 4555340 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

you've already have had 100,000 protesters appear in Moscow so it ain't like Banzai Bitchface is going to Moscow anytime soon either.

If the next protest brings out a million...well, let's just say "Welcome to Mother Russia" zerohedge ASSHOLES.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:35 | 4555562 Flybyknight
Flybyknight's picture

opps EYCT accidently supported your point of view that up arrow should still be zero

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:01 | 4555154 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

The EU only recognizes the leadership of countries that are being run by unelected former GS employess.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:02 | 4555158 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

kosovo ?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:43 | 4555321 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

ncdirtdigger... A beginning like Kosovo and an ending similar to Georgia?


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4555360 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Kosovo didn't even get to have a referendum.

That's why it's still a protectorate instead of a sovereign state despite of all the gibberish claiming the opposite. That's also why Albanians in Kosovo are so fucked once USSA throws them under the bus, the way it does to all of its 'allies'.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:05 | 4555163 shutdown
shutdown's picture

Was there an annexation vote when we stuffed the Gadsden Purchase or the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo down Mexico's throat? 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:54 | 4555381 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

no, there wasn't. "and we got a better deal" fag boy.

This clown just blew 50 billion on the Olympics.
This "unauthorized action" will require some explanations at the Defense Ministry.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:23 | 4555516 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

you clowns better get your game face on here.
"once the bullets start flying" the wheels come off. (especially all the smack talkin'.)

So far...for good.

It could be "so far so lucky" however. our Civil War "it was the South that fired the first shots."
And yes...we did got War without a declaration of Congress...or even a debate actually.
And that can very much happen here as well.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:09 | 4555176 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

The latest false-Flag is not working out too well...   From PCR:

Under Washington' s interpretation of international law, Ukraine is still a part of Russia.
When Khrushchev transferred Crimea (but not Sevastopol, the Black Sea base) to
Ukraine, Russians did not get to vote. Therefore, according to Washington's own logic
it is invalid to recognize Crimea as part of Ukraine. That also goes for other parts of
Russia that Lenin transferred to Ukraine. Under the logic of Washington's UN
resolution, large parts of Ukraine are not legitimately part of Ukraine.
They have remained parts of Russia, because Russians were not allowed
to vote on their transfer to Ukraine. Thus, there is no issue about "Russia annexing Crimea,"

because, according to Washington's logic, Crimea is still a part of Russia.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:16 | 4555197 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

I see what you did there.  You used the bizzaro logic of the teleprompter against itself.   Clever.  

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:58 | 4555395 tsuki
tsuki's picture

I love PCR. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:12 | 4555185 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If I were Putin I'd hit the Sunday morning talk shows and point out just how hypocritical the lying western fucking "leaders" are.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:26 | 4555234 hairball48
hairball48's picture

+1 Me too!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:33 | 4555273 adonisdemilo
adonisdemilo's picture

@Dr. Engali,

They wouldn't dare have him on any Western talk shows.

As soon as he started telling them the truth they would ALL have a power failure.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:54 | 4555655 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Or it would be time for a 'commercial break' once it starts getting unpleasant for the Zio-ho's.

That reminds me of the interrupted video-interview with the US girl and her aunt visiting their relatives in Georgia during the conflict in 2008:

American girl tells the truth live on FAUX news

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4555311 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

At some point, somebody needs to get bitchslapped on live TV and then that person needs to be told "Send in your armies or STFU."  The situation needs to be set out in plain harsh terms like that instead of all of this geopolitical manuvering that we think we are so clever at. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:37 | 4555594 DutchR
DutchR's picture

So we actually need to think about our humanity?


The horror

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4555192 JR
JR's picture

Ukraine, before the coup and after the coup, was not and is not a member of the European Union. One has to wonder what business it is of the European Union in the affairs of the Ukrainian people.

Obviously, the European Union intends to take the Ukrainian people captive, forcing them like the Greeks, to bow down to “western values” (debt slavery, loss of sovereignty, increased unemployment, decreased pensions and standards of living, IMF rule and, above all, loss of freedom).

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:59 | 4555398 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It was a member of the Russian Federation however.
Perhaps if we unleashed our forces at Fort Hood on Dallas, Houston and San Antonio you might enjoy that as well.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:37 | 4555590 saints51
saints51's picture

Fort Hood would be smashed in days. You better release those forces in New York City if you want a chance.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:16 | 4555196 B2u
B2u's picture

I am gonna have some green beer....

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:17 | 4555202 wmbz
wmbz's picture

EU Lays on floor and kicks, screams, holds breath till blue.  Scantions my ass!

Russia say... fuck-off.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:19 | 4555205 agent default
agent default's picture

Exactly what do they mean they will not recognize the referendum result?  This is so far out I cannot even begin to comprehend.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:20 | 4555207 Satan
Satan's picture

The very thought of having both Von Rompuy and Barroso " on my side " fills me with equal measures of disgust and dread.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:20 | 4555213 ronron
ronron's picture

fire in the hole. these guys are nuts.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:47 | 4555334 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Holy hell!  That would get both Russia and Europe pissed off at them. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:23 | 4555222 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture fucking brain smokes everytime someone mentions that dipshits name.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:24 | 4555228 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Where's Diebold when you need them?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4555265 Yoki
Yoki's picture

Who needs war when you can get Natalia, and Victoria? 


oh yeah and you know what, FUCK THE EU

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:26 | 4555237 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Twitter exchange between Herman Von Rompuy and Russia's Deputy PM
Dmitry Rogozin.

Von Rompuy tweeted;

@euHvR: Solution to crisis must be based on territorial integrity, sovereignty & independence of #Ukraine"

To which Rogozin replied;

"??????? ??? ??????? ?????? ????"

Tell it to the peoples of the former SOCIALIST FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF YUGOSLAVIA

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:39 | 4555245 MarkAntony
MarkAntony's picture

Just skyped my wife's family in Crimea. They all voted to break away from Ukraine and join Russian Federation. We do not blame them and think it's a good move.

Streets are peaceful and those that can not go to the ballots have ballot boxes brought to their homes by the election authorities (convenient, he?)

This deal is as good as done. I hope that the new Crimean authority will take care of the people that vested their trust in them. It would be refreshing to see Crimea prosper and provide it's citizens a decent living and freedoms necessary to achieve happiness.

Edit1:  Just read a post implying that this was a forced referendum. NOT TRUE. None of the family and friends we spoke to in 3 large towns have seen anything that was designed to coerce them into a vote.

ZH'ers, belie it or not... this is a true referendum.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4555384 tsuki
tsuki's picture

I hope they stay well.  The Ukrainians are the ones that will not fare well.  I have seen the IMF "austerity" plans. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:00 | 4555393 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Putin MUST take the high ground here from a political standpoint.  To do so is to take any wind that we might have had out of our sails (and sales too.)  It will get anybody here who is paying attention to think about the disdain that DC has for the vote of the people.  He was handed something where he likely knew the outcome of a legitimate vote, and we're screaming bloody murder about democracy.  Politically, the situation started off in his favor, and he, being a consummate politician, is making it even more in his favor.  Meanwhile, the clownigarchs in DC are embarrassing us all. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4555453 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Kiev Rus is tired of fittin' your bill bitch. "And that's there oil too." Word on the Street is "you better be ready for a fight."

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:30 | 4555250 MollyHacker
MollyHacker's picture


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:30 | 4555253 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

The EU leaders need to be gassed. The world is sick of this Rule By Bankster nonsense that was foisted upon it.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4555297 agent default
agent default's picture

The EU needs a few Russian armored divisions parked in Brussels.  These childish morons,  need a very stern lesson in foreign policy.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:59 | 4555401 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Don't forget about Basel.


(Nothing against Switzerland in general, I just don't like the BIS.)

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4555430 agent default
agent default's picture

A gentle push along the eastern EU border and BIS will go away all by itself. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4555258 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

So Barroso and Van Rompuy are not amused - we wonder what Frau Merkel thinks... You forgot the U.S., U.K. Israeli (influenced) contingent on what they had to say?...

I have a vision of B.B. polishing his "Iron Dome"...

Laughing uncontrollably to the point of pissing self!!!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4555261 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

...EU to permanently ban Democratic voting

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:36 | 4555264 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

There you have it BRICS VS. EU... Brics has been stacking while the EU has been spending their way into a death spiral. Looks like the the US dollar is going to be the target once The EU imposes their so called sanctions. Once this happens it's Game on BITCHEZ , and the ponzi scheme will come unraveld as nobody will buy our debt except the MYRA Sheeple of America...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:50 | 4555365 agent default
agent default's picture

Do you think the Euro will fair any better without the Dollar?  I don't think so.  The Dollar will cease to be the reserve currency and be massively devalued, the Euro will cease to exist. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:34 | 4555279 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

Now, even the democratic elected President under USA occupation army came out to have a word:

"Afghan President Hamid Karzai has called on the United States and its Western allies to immediately get out of the country by the 2014 withdrawal deadline. President Karzai told the US in his address to Afghan parliament that local security forces were strong enough to defend Afghanistan without Washington’s assistance." in


Suddenly my feel is the empire is crumbbling everywhere and Ran Paul is trying to save it. Too late, only now the 1% let you in the ring. Your father waist all those year to try to correct the self-destrution mode and what they, 1%, did to him?


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:34 | 4555283 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


Why won't they listen to me...(sob) I'm the President...


There, there, Barry...I'll have Kerry call them nasty names.


Thank you Wookums...can I have my blanky now?



Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:37 | 4555294 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Side show - the real show is the collapse of the global economy.



Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4555303 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

Quick, send in NATO.


Nuclear Winter, anyone?

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4555312 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Definitely something suspicious about 73% turnout. If that happened in the US there could only be two explanations: (1) Diebold at it again or (2) Big money changing hands. Probably both.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:15 | 4555457 MarkAntony
MarkAntony's picture

Eeeehh... NO. Nothing suspicious about this one.

The people I spoke to would vote themselves back into Soviet Union if given a chance. They still "remember" the prosperity Crimean Republic enjoyed under the 'ole Soviet life...

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:22 | 4555493 Debugas
Debugas's picture

most of the people in former soviet republics would vote to return back to the Soviet Union.

And no it is not because they like russians (many of them dislike russians) but it is because 99% lived better back then in USSR than they live today in EU

major factor - in USSR state paid most utility bills (by simply providing energy and resources for free) and today people spend half of their wages to pay for that

of cause that was unsustainable in the long run and USSR collapsed

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4555313 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I'm seriously considering moving away from this farce called the EU to some self-sustaining community in South America. Let's create Zero Hedge City (what's that in Spanish?) and secede.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:45 | 4555337 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Well, there was an idea to create Paulvilles.,_Texas

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:50 | 4555617 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

"Las herramientas del sistema"

Comrade Jones, count me in; just so long as the active ingredient in the purple koolaid is nothing more than vodka.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 15:24 | 4555739 Jorgen
Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4555316 yogibear
yogibear's picture

F the EU and their bankster wealth-sucking cabal. It's about time countries like Russia give these EU leeches the middle finger.

The idea of having another EU Goldman Sachs bankster technocrat running your country isn't appealing.

China will join Russia. Others will follow. 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:46 | 4555339 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Time for a little shot across the bows to remind everyone who is boss.

Can't wait for the eastern markets to open tonight.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:47 | 4555345 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

The EU doesn't care what people want, which is why it is doomed.

Let Scotland and Catalonia vote!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:01 | 4555409 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

To be fair, Spain always is against the recognition of Kosovo, unlike UK that jump to the US bangwagon.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:17 | 4555478 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

And Eastern Colorado and Northern California!

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:50 | 4555367 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Crimea voted ~80% for Yanukovich in 2010.  Don't be surprised if 75-80% today vote to associate with Russia.

EU is a now an anti-democratic, Nazi-supporting decrepit organization that needs to disintegrate.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:54 | 4555383 yogibear
yogibear's picture

"EU is a now an anti-democratic, Nazi-supporting decrepit organization that needs to disintegrate."

The sooner it desolves the better.

The EU is a Goldman Sachs bankster run technocratic promoting cabal.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:56 | 4555388 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

May I just ask, in what way or in what parallel universe is the EU and it's leadership remotely legitmate?

Oh yeah, nearly forgot - fuck the EU! Personally, I'd happily spatchcock the b*st*rds

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 13:56 | 4555389 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

The Crimeans need to revolt and blow shit up, burn shit down, and shoot some people. That's what the Ukrainians did, and it was fully sanctioned by the enlightened West. Democracy requires violence and Imperial sanction. Anything else is simply illegal barbarism.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:03 | 4555419 shutdown
shutdown's picture

Don't forget the Ameican snipers shooting protesters, any protesters. Gotta have that to make everything appear legitimate.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 16:50 | 4556031 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

i'm not an expert, but those people killed in Kiev were reportedly taken with headshots. If there any snipers or ex-snipers  on ZH I'd be happy to be enlightened, but headshots sounds improbable for snipers because of the smaller target area i.e. is it not more likely they were shot at close range? It's been bothering me.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4555449 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Today in Crimea they are deciding peacefully "whats to become of us?"

The US position is clear: In a democracy everybody gets to vote on stuff, but only on the stuff we say they can vote on and only when we say they can do it.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:12 | 4555451 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Notice how the .dot com bubble, 9/11, and the financial "crisis" of 2008 got Amuricans all fired up to vote for the right or left head of the two-headed hydra.

And now TPTB are stoking nationalism poking the embers of the Cold War and the "evil empire" since the terrorism fire is out of fresh wood.

Obamacare is another good left/right distraction that will have the sheeple thinking if they just go vote Amurica will be great again, somehow.

Meanwhile, the international banking cabal bleeds us and the rest of the world dry - yet we continue to scrub their toilets and cook their lobster bisque.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 15:45 | 4555840 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

... and season their meringues. As for their clam chowder, get the idea.

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4555470 illadeljim
illadeljim's picture

So, voting is only good sometimes? 

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4555472 Fíréan
Fíréan's picture

They( Crimea)  had a referendum, some people in the EU didn't even get that ! ! !

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:18 | 4555481 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

Crimea- high voter turn out, calm and peaceful streets, ballot boxes being brought to the homes of those who can not get out to polling locations, international observers on site and operating without restriction.

Kiev- no vote, lots of violence, hundreds dead, neo- nazis on the streets (also operating without restriction) and wielding ak-47's in parliament threatening still more violence, bloodshed and death. now they have control over five important posts in the new government and their leader, who has been quoted time and time again espousing anti Semite and anti Russian beliefs (they are scum, they should all be killed ect.) is going to run for president, with his party already in control of the state security ministry. talk about a set up for a rigged election...

sound familiar? history may not repeat, but in this case it sure is starting to rhyme.

and Washington fully supports and legitimizes what happened in  Kiev, while calling what is happening in Crimea illegal and is using threatening and aggressive language and actions in an attempt to intimidate and coerce those concerned to it's will. 

now geopolitics is what it is, I get that and I'm sure Putin is very pleased that the opportunity to reintegrate at least Crimea into the fold has presented itself and I'm certain that the protections the people of Crimea are currently enjoying from big brother bear is a direct result of the areas strategic importance. even still Putin may wind up actually deserving the peace prize he has been nominated for.

but the it is the Wests position on this that not only defies common sense, international law, basic human rights and plain decency...

it is now bordering on absurdly, irrationally and self destructively evil and that is very, very dangerous indeed.                


Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:18 | 4555484 STG5IVE
STG5IVE's picture

BREAKING: US rejects Crimea vote held under `threats of violence and intimidation' by Russian military.

Associated Press

Sun, 03/16/2014 - 14:56 | 4555665 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

No shit!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!