Sunday Humor: Turkish PM Erdogan's Top 15 Insults To World Leaders

Tyler Durden's picture

While we thought Venezuelan President Maduro was doing well in the verbal combat sparring match of global diplomacy, and of course Russian President Vladimir Putin holds the lead in proclaimed "despotism", it is the corruption-probe bedraggled Prime Minister of Turkey that is head-and-shoulders above the rest of the world's leaders in his insults. As Zaman reports, not a day goes by when Erdogan does not spew forth some insult-infused speech to rally his cheering supporters and here are his Top 15...


1. Perverts. Last Monday, Erdo?an was speaking in Turkey's eastern province of Mu?, and lashed out at the Gülen movement for “orchestrating a coup” against the government. “They are perverts. They are tape editors, twitterers, they are whatever that comes to your mind.”

2. Atheists, terrorists. On Feb. 28, Erdo?an criticized a group of students who protested newly-built road crossing through the Middle East Technical University (ODTÜ) in Ankara. “We opened a boulevard in Ankara despite these leftists, these atheists. They are atheists, they're terrorists.” Oh by the way, they are students of the university, which is the only Turkish school that made it into the list of world's best 100 universities.

3. Bloodsucking vampires. Erdo?an and the Kurdistan Workers' Party (PKK) launched a peace process last year. During a year of ceasefire, the PKK bolstered its position in southeastern Turkey and deepened its military presence in the area. Those who criticize the way the peace process is handled (and I'm not talking about nationalists here) and the government's mistakes in this regard, are frequently targeted by Erdo?an as “bloodsucking vampires.”

4. Journalists with dog collars. During heated debates around Uludere/Roboski massacre, Erdo?an slammed journalists who were criticizing the government for covering up the airstrike that killed 34 civilians. Erdo?an said these columnists were with "dog collars" and that “we freed you from these dog collars.” He was referring to a situation, in which many Turkish columnists had to write in line with the military's narrative. Ironically, he said in the same speech that these columnists had "national collars" but now they have "international collars."

5. Girl or woman? In 2011, speaking in Konya about protests in border town of Hopa, Erdo?an criticized a woman who climbed onto a police vehicle, but had her hips broken during the confrontation, saying that “I don't know if she was a girl or a woman.” The remark caused a huge outrage among public.

6. Assassins. On Jan. 14, Erdo?an said during his parliamentary group meeting that those members of the judiciary, police and bureaucrats who staged the corruption operation are “insidious viruses” and likened them to infamous criminal gang called “Assassins.” He rarely used this word in his later speeches, but his supporters often employ this word to describe members of the Gülen movement.

7. Worse than Shia. During a televised interview earlier this week, Erdo?an said members of the Gülen movement are “worse than Shia” in “lies, slander and taqiyyah.” He didn't only committed a crime with this hate speech before millions of people, but also insulted all Shia Muslims by claiming that they are good at always telling lies and slander.

8. Leech worms. Few weeks ago, Erdo?an found a new insult and started calling members of the Gülen movement as “leech worms.” He then edited himself, saying that likening leech worms to members of the Gülen movement would be an insult to the worms. "Lech worms are even better than them," Erdo?an said. Salute to a prime minister who would not even insult a worm!

9. Tumor. To fight against the corruption allegations, Erdo?an launched a campaign to describe members of the police and judiciary who launched the graft operation as “tumor” that infiltrated the body of the state. For dummies: He is referring to members of the police and judiciary who are just doing their job.

10. Criminal gang. Erdo?an, his media and his supporters started to describe the Gülen movement as a “gang” or “örgüt” in Turkish. The word has become a euphemism to describe the PKK, known for its history of terror and violence. He constantly uses the word “gang” as part of his plan to justify a possible sweeping operation against the members of the Gülen movement after the local polls slated for March 30.

11. Childless. It is no secret that Erdo?an's level of logic in his speeches dropped to a level of a teenager (99.9 percent teenagers excluded). One of the most outrageous one was a “blame” Erdo?an put on opposition Nationalist Movement Party (MHP) leader Devlet Bahçeli and Turkish Islamic scholar Fethullah Gülen for having "no kids." He said they would not understand what it means of having children and family, because they "ain't got one." Both Gülen and Bahçeli have never married (which might be a crime in Erdo?an's new Turkey).

12. I suspect of their faith. Earlier this week, Erdo?an even questioned faith of members of the Gülen movement, saying that he even “suspects of their faith [in Islam].” In Islam, Muslims usually avoid questioning the faith of other Muslims because there is a danger that those who call others as a "non-believer" would become a non-Muslim if the description is groundless.

13. Insidious viruses and parasites. He first used this in January, but continued to publicly repeat this in almost everyday when he criticizes his opponents.

14. Burn in Hell. Last week, he highlighted how “dirty” his opponents are and claimed that “only Hell will purify them.” 101 Introduction to Islam class for Erdo?an: In Islam, we usually don't say to each other "you will go to Hell" because it is banned for Muslims to "decide" who will go where after they die.

15. Piss off. On Friday, Erdo?an said during a public rally in eastern province of Batman that female activists may knock at your doors to say not to vote for his ruling party. “You tell them piss off!” Erdo?an said insulted.

Source: Zaman

Of course, not even Erodgan can compete with this... (Absolutely not suitable for work)...

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dow jones 20000's picture

Does the St. Patricks day parade go by the Boston Public Library?
Tomorrow looks like a great day for a CIA op.

knukles's picture

I like the "leach worms".
And Fuck the EU, for good measure.

You go Erdogan!

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Turkey?  Winter in the EU?

Naah, I'm happy to be here in Lima now...:

"A Pretty Good Day in Lima":
Manthong's picture

I kind of go along with that dog-collared journalist slam.

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

I've got to say that "Insidious viruses and parasites", does it for me. I mean really, aren't all viruses parasites? It's over-the-top in the insult world. Very nicely done. Yup, 13's got my vote.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Agree.  I like this guy's style. 


old naughty's picture

#16 Now we secede...

He will next tell his sheeples to vote in a referendum to leave NATO and join Putin led EAU?

HardAssets's picture

What, he didn't even use of the ZH standard ?:


DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Ha ha ha ha ha!  No. 16 is the best one yet!

knukles's picture

Barack O'Chamberlin.....
.....His Munich Moment
Erdogan should be his press secretary, somebody tough, unlike Carney

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Oh, I quite agree.

Talking gibberish would be better than talking gerbil any day of the week.

Pure Evil's picture

You're not trying to imply that Carney is Obama's gerbil that sent a tingle up his colon, are you?


(Triple snark)

knukles's picture

Wasn't that Chris Mattews?

Chuck Walla's picture

Barack O'Chamberlin..... 
.....His Munich Moment 

You mean his Eunuch Moment?



Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

A really good interview w/Sibel Edmonds re Erdogan:

Short story, he might be a jerk but Gulen is a whole 'nother piece of work.

agent default's picture

Did he say their father was a hamster and their mother smells of elderberries?  Now that would have been an insult.

The Alarmist's picture

No! Now go away, or I will have to taunt you a second time-ah, you English pig dog!

Iam Yue2's picture

Turkey is blessed to have such a cultured and refined leader.

Anusocracy's picture

At least he didn't compare the opposition to the Obama administration.

knukles's picture

Hoh ho ho!
Penalty for that shit is reading "I won't make fun of buttboybaroni" 1,000,000 times from a faulty Teleprompter that starts over at random moments ... 

old naughty's picture

"Turkey is blessed ... "

Now that debt-ridden Ukremed, chessboard back to Turkey time. All that un-real emotions...

Wonder what it will be like with the "elephant", sooner or later, no?

nmewn's picture

lol...good point.

Has Obama got his NCAA brackets all filled in yet? I mean, this is vital, absolutely crucial MSM type news stuff.

The country needs to! ;-)

Anusocracy's picture

I'm following Putin's bracket picks.

He has a better feel for what's going on.

nmewn's picture

Careful, he's probably better at chess than b-ball ;-)

johny2's picture

luckily for him, he shares these same values with leaders of saudi arabia, usa, eu. So he can do and say whatever he likes without attracting wrath of Kerry and Obama. ( or their masters )

Urban Redneck's picture

I'm sure this one pissed off Bathhouse Barry, as he had all his cock sucking sycophants mischaracterize what was actually said...

President Museveni of Uganda 24 February 2014-

It seems the topic of homosexuals was provoked by the arrogant and careless Western groups that are fond of coming into our schools and recruiting young children into homosexuality and lesbianism, just as they carelessly handle other issues concerning Africa.

Initially, I did not pay much attention to it because I was busy with the immediate issues of defense, security, electricity, the roads, the railways, factories, modernization of agriculture, etc.

When, eventually, I concentrated my mind on it, I distilled three problems:

1. those who were promoting homo-sexuality and recruiting normal people into it;

2. as a consequence of No. 1 above, many of those recruited were doing so for mercenary reasons – to get money – in effect homosexual prostitutes; these mercenary homosexual prostitutes had to be punished;

3. Homosexuals exhibiting themselves; Africans are flabbergasted by exhibitionism of sexual acts – whether heterosexual or otherwise and for good reason. Why do you exhibit your sexual conduct? Are you short of opportunity for privacy - where you can kiss, fondle (kukirigiita, kwagaaga) etc.?

Are we interested in seeing your sexual acts – we the Public? I am not able to understand the logic of the Western Culture. However, we Africans always keep our opinions to ourselves and never seek to impose our point of view on the others. If only they could let us alone.

It was my view that the above three should be punished harshly in order to defend our society from disorientation. Therefore, on these three I was in total accord with the MPs and other Ugandans. I had, however, a problem with Category 4 or what I thought was category 4 – those “born” homosexual.

I thought there were such people – those who are either genetic or congenital homosexuals. The reason I thought so was because I could not understand why a man could fail to be attracted to the beauties of a woman and, instead, be attracted to a fellow man. It meant, according to me, that there was something wrong with that man – he was born a homosexual – abnormal.

I, therefore, thought that it would be wrong to punish somebody because of how he was created, disgusting though it may be to us. That is why I refused to sign the Bill. In order to get to the truth, we involved Uganda Scientists as well as consulting Scientists from outside Uganda.

My question to them was: “Are there people that are homosexual right from birth?”. After exhaustive studies, it has been found that homosexuality is in two categories: there are those who engage in homosexuality for mercenary reasons on account of the under – developed sectors of our economy that cause people to remain in poverty, the great opportunities that abound not withstanding; and then there are those that become homosexual by both nature (genetic) and nurture (up-bringing).

The studies that were done on identical twins in Sweden showed that 34% - 39% were homosexual on account of nature and 66% were homosexual on account of nurture.

Therefore, even in those studies, nurture was more significant than nature. Can somebody be homosexual purely by nature without nurture? The answer is: “No”. No study has shown that. Since nurture is the main cause of homosexuality, then society can do something about it to discourage the trends. That is why I have agreed to sign the Bill.

Since Western societies do not appreciate politeness, let me take this opportunity to warn our people publicly about the wrong practices indulged in and promoted by some of the outsiders.

One of them is “oral sex”. Our youth should reject this because God designed the human being most appropriately for pleasurable, sustainable and healthy sex. Some of the traditional styles are very pleasurable and healthy. The mouth is not engineered for that purpose except kissing. Besides, it is very unhealthy. People can even contract gonorrhea of the mouth and throat on account of so-called “oral sex”, not to mention worms, hepatitis E, etc.

The Ministry of Gender and Youth should de-campaign this buyayism imported from outside and sensitize the youth about the healthy life style that is abundant in our cultures.

We reject the notion that somebody can be homosexual by choice; that a man can choose to love a fellow man; that sexual orientation is a matter of choice. Since my original thesis that there may be people who are born homosexual has been disproved by science, then the homosexuals have lost the argument in Uganda.

They should rehabilitate themselves and society should assist them to do so.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Kind of unrelated, but Peru has decided to crack down very hard on child abuse.  Foreigners coming here looking for that kind of a good time will do nasty time in nasty Peruvian prisons.

Good for them.

Element's picture

DoChen, something truly disgusting on this topic, watch this ABC Australia Four Corners Report broadcast just last week. You will not believe what these bastards did.

The man with pointy horns's picture

What would happen if Mickey One Punch and Tyler Durden were combined?

Pure Evil's picture

Even Putin might think twice about crossing that red line.


Mickey One Punch and Tyler Durden combined.

tony wilson's picture

you filthy dogs how dare you call pasha erdogan a mass murdering syrian raping jewish turkish pimp.

how very dare you.





knukles's picture

Well, the Jewish part might not go over so well, but most them greasy swarthy greasy hairy greasy Turkish guys do look like pimps.


Fookin' Greasy Leach Worms

nmewn's picture

The only Turkey I care about right now has feathers and squire is one ahead of me on dropping them ;-)

Angus McHugepenis's picture

Fuck Turkey! Unless you eat it.

nightshiftsucks's picture

So my daughter between her junior and senior year of high school went to USC for the summer.Her roomate was from Turkey and her roomate boyfriend from Turkey was also there My daughter said they were always having sex,from then on out whenever someone was trying to have sex was known as stuffing the Turkey,hahah that's my daughter.

nightshiftsucks's picture

Not well written but I'm shit faced.woo hoo

stant's picture

obama may a thousand well fed doves of peace fly over your head where ever you go. may a thousand well fed elephants clear the path you follow

Pure Evil's picture

With a thousand well fed doves overhead, the term useless as dove shit on a pump handle comes to mind.

stant's picture

yes hes gona need a big umbrella and rubber hip boots

Angus McHugepenis's picture

And the politicians just can't let go of that shit covered handle.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

<---  A: BIS, CB Banksters + himself & family & friends

<---  A: People of Turkey + himself & family & friends

Q: Who does Erdogan work for? 

buzzsaw99's picture

Now go home and get your fucking shine box.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

You can't be serious?

This is the POTUS!!!!

Being Free's picture

We interupt this thread for a brief announcement....

AU @ $1390; AG @ $21.62

That is all ... now back to your reqularly scheduled thread.

kellycriterion's picture

1. The Gulen wear McCain Depends.
2. The Gulen are as relevant as Lady Gaga in a burka.
3. The Gulen think mixed martial arts are Rococo.
4. The Gulen are buried in pig carcasses to be resurrected as Hollywood, uh, well anything Hollywood.