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Crimea Names Ruble Currency; Applies To Join Russia, Expects To Become Russian Federation Region By Thursday

Tyler Durden's picture




 

First, for those who have missed this weekend's developing story surrounding events in Crimea, here is the 30 second summary, courtesy of Bloomberg:

  • U.S., EU warn Russia not to annex Crimea after 95.5% of voters backed leaving Ukraine to join Russia in referendum.
  • Ukrainian govt, EU, U.S. consider vote illegal
  • Russia said vote  “fully met international norms”
  • Russia deployed about 60,000 troops along Ukrainian border, Ukrainian government said yday; Ukraine closed border crossings and will mobilize as many as 15,000 volunteers in next 15 days
  • Obama spoke with Putin, said referendum would never be recognized by intl community; U.S. prepared to impose “additional costs” on Russia for its actions
  • Putin told Obama Kiev regime unable to curb radical, ultra- nationalists groups that are destabilizing situation, terrorizing peaceful residents
  • EU ministers meet today to discuss sanctions that target Russian individuals rather than businesses; EU leaders to meet March 20-21 in Brussels to discuss further measures
  • “We are all reluctant to impose sanctions because Russia will probably respond and we’ll all suffer as a result,” Poland Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski said on CNN. “But Russia is leaving us with no choice.”
  • Russian lawmakers to consider bill on March 21 that would allow Russia to incorporate parts of countries where residents want to secede, says a Kremlin adviser
  • Russia vetoed UN Security Council resolution declaring referendum illegal; China abstained from voting
  • Crimeans celebrate vote

And here is the latest : just hours ago, Crimea's parliament officially applied to become part of Russia. The parliament "made a proposal to the Russian Federation to admit the Republic of Crimea as a new subject with the status of a republic," according to a statement on its website. A Crimean parliamentary delegation was expected to arrive in Moscow on Monday to discuss the procedures required for the Black Sea peninsula to become part of the Russian Federation.

"If everything’s signed we’ll become a fully fledged region of the Russian Federation Wednesday or Thursday,” First Deputy Prime Minister Rustam Termigaliyev says in interview at govt headquarters in Simferopol. Termigaliyev added that Crimea will promptly get $1b aid from Russia in near-term, and that Hryvnia reserves enough for 10 days, then Crimea will switch to ruble. April pensions “most likely” to be paid in rubles. Crimea can be self-sufficient in natural gas after today’s nationalization of Chernomoreneftegaz. Crimea risks 150,000 hectares being left without water if Ukraine shuts off supply, though that’s “not critical,”  says Termigaliyev.

In other news, the west continues dithering and considering just how best to telegraph to the world that it is completely helpless in stopping the annexation of Crimea, which is now a fact, and that it is praying that Putin does nothing to annex any of the other Pro-Russian cities in east Ukraine in the coming days, as once again, it has absolutely no stopping power with Putin continuing to hold all the chips.

Want to know more? then you will have to wait until tomorrow, when Putin will address a joint session of parliament on Crimea on Tuesday, the Kremlin's representative to the lower house said.

The Kremlin press service did not immediately confirm Putin would address the session of the State Duma lower house and the Federation Council upper chamber.

But Garry Minkh, the Kremlin's representative in the State Duma, told reporters the president would deliver a speech to the joint session following Sunday's referendum in which Ukraine's Crimea region voted to join Russia.

 

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Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:26 | 4557736 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Now they're gonna feel the wrath of Kerry. Today is Monday, right?

Lol.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:28 | 4557740 JackT
JackT's picture

US can't even deliver mail this fast - WTF?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:31 | 4557748 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

And Putin declares, "Checkmate Yankee!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:41 | 4557765 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Obama will be absent from the security briefing....again.

 

He'll be out working on his flexibility.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:43 | 4557772 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Because Obama...  is just a slick telepromter talking pussy.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:36 | 4557893 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

Epithet-bomb

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:04 | 4557828 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

I read this morning that Scotland is itching to secede from the UK. Obama better hurry up and overthrow Scotland's first minister and replace him with a Nazi.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:29 | 4557877 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

76 years ago, a similar plebicite was voted upon in Austria to join the German Reich.  The result was a 95% "Ja".  Of course, the "international community" condemned it and said Hitler was invading.   Same thing when the Sudetan Germans voted to leave Czechoslovakia.  Let's face it... people of varying races and ethnicities just want to live amongst their own kind.  The ethnic Russians in the Crimea are merely doing the natural thing.  More power to 'em.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:32 | 4558063 MrsMerkel
MrsMerkel's picture

Right, because Nazi German annexations are a good precedent for today's international affairs......

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:49 | 4558105 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

Some of them, yes.

 

Unnatural "nations" must be abolished.  The true definition of "nation" is basically an extended ethnic state.  Countries like Yugoslavia, Iraq and the southern lands of what was once the USSR cannot be held together long if their constituents are not of the same ethnicity, religion, race, etc...

 

Again... it is natural for diverse humans (like all other animals) to form their own living areas.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:52 | 4558135 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Does anyone here know yet who the twenty-one sanctioned individuals are?  I.E. have a list?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:15 | 4558266 agent default
agent default's picture

"Unnatural "nations" must be abolished.  The true definition of "nation" is basically an extended ethnic state. " 

You do realise the implications for the US, if this was to become reality, right?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:01 | 4558551 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

Yes... the breakdown of the United States along ethnic/racial lines is inevitable.  Because we have such a vast continent in which to "flight" ourselves, this will obviously take time.  When an entire country is the size of Ohio, natural strains amongst diverse peoples occurs more rapidly.  Also, catostrophic economic pressures tend to accelerate these divisions... something the United States has yet to experience since we've become such a salad bowl of ethnicities.  It is coming.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:40 | 4558776 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

'You do realise the implications for the US, if this was to become reality, right?'

 

Yes, America could go back to the way it was, a successful nation comprised of 90% Christian European stock.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:31 | 4558726 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

' Let's face it... people of varying races and ethnicities just want to live amongst their own kind. '

 

Unless they're White, in which case it's RACIST

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:48 | 4557771 Independent
Independent's picture

Congratulations Crimea for escaping the evil clutches of the EVIL JEWITCH Victoria NULAND.  Unfortunately for the rest of Ukraine she has already plundered its Gold and Precious ancient Scythian artifacts which now adorn her Tel Aviv Penthouse.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:10 | 4560759 layman_please
layman_please's picture

welcome home, crimea

for the inquisitive ones who are not so adept in cyrillic, CCCP means USSR

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:32 | 4557743 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

As I mentioned in another thread, and bear with me on this.

The very last thing that Israeli Hawks want to see is a formal agreement with Iran adopted that takes the possibility of military strikes against Iran off the table.

Why/How is this related to Crimea?

Israeli Hawks can foment obstruction of the possibility of any peaceful, formal resolution of the Iran "issue" by using the Crimean situation to do so.

By annexing Crimea (regardless as to whether one thinks it was proper, legal, etc.), the sanctions being threatened against Russia serve as the perfect roadblock for any such formal'deal to be solidified, since Russia would be much more likely to strengthen Iran's bargaining position and even drive them to make demands that cause any prospective deal to fall'apart, in retaliation for economic sanctions imposed against Russia vis-a-vis Crimea.

And Israel gets the implicit green light to strike Iran militarily as a result of such a "breakdown" in the possibility achieving a formal, binding agreement regarding Iran and nuclear enrichment.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:48 | 4557782 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Yes but by creating a situation with a high probability that Obama suffers yet another major loss of face they increase the possibility that O ratchets up the pressure for a two nation peace deal in order to bring about the face saving photo op he needs and maybe another Peace Prize for it. Are the hawks short sighted enough that they will take the risk? Or maybe they know the peace deal is already a fait accompli?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:51 | 4557786 Independent
Independent's picture

The price for Western brokered peace deal is all of Ukraine's Gold and Cultural Heritage Artifacts.  If the USA keeps this UP we will soon be filling Ft Knox full of GOLD

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:09 | 4557841 silvermail
silvermail's picture

A new term for the so-called American democracy: the Military-Police democracy.

Yanukovych invited opposition for talks. He is a dictator and a tyrant.
Yatseniuk sent against the people army tanks. He is a Democrat and a liberal.
How to call it? Military-police US-democracy.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:19 | 4557864 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

No.

First off, the whole nuclear issue is a ruse. Bibi has been saying Iran was months away from a nuke, while building more of his own, for 20 years.

After how many years of his proclamations do you begin to suspect he's lying> ? 

40?

Second, and largely consequently, the side making demands designed to cause any such peace-mongering deal to fail are, as always, the Israelis.  Do you have this backwards by ignorance or by agenda?  They have repeatedly moved the goalposts, and most recently, AIPAC, one of Israel's 5th Columns which a sane country would have made register as an agent of a foreign power, took their orders from Likud, and gave them to Congress to make Iran's missiles a part of the deal. 

Meanwhile, Israel continues its bloody occupation, killing and crippling Palestinian children without repercussion, and after an unprovoked attack on Gaza resulted in rocket fire, the rocket fire they counted on getting, they bombed Gaza again - and as usual, it was disproportionate, and couched in the western media as a "response" to the "rocket fire" from those Arab terrorists.

Israel, and Likud in particular have no intention of a peaceful resolution to their desire for regime change in Iran, just as they have no intention of doing anything but continuing their colonization and slow burn ethnic cleansing of "Judea and Samaria"  - a process carried out since the 1940s, when Israel was born via teror attacks on British civil servants and Arab civilians. 

Not only is there no evidence Iran is working on a nuclear weapon, US intelligence agencies agree that they are not.  They are subject to inspections, and while Iran's former president was misquoted all over the media, virtually no media reported on the genocidal exhortations of Jewish leaders in Israel - not wacky cult leaders, but major, mainstream rabbis, some on the payroll of Israel.

Moreover, not only is there no evidence, Israel and/or its agents have tried to fake evidence, including the "laptop of death."  Meanwhile, Israelis have posed as CIA agents in Iran {see the Mark Perry article}. The alleged plot to murder the Saudi ambassador disappeared from the press - likely intended to blame Iran, it was too amateurish to use.  Israel likely faked a recent alleged transfer of weapons to Gaza, and is still here and there trying to blame Iran for the missing Malaysian flight.

Make no mistake - Netanyahu swore before Congress there was no doubt about Iraq working on nukes - and he was lying...not mistaken, but lying.  Meanwhile, neoconservative Jews with ties to Netanyahu embedded themselves in the Pentagon to fabricate evidence and lie us into Iraq, not for oil, and not for the petrodollar, but for Israel.

 

You have to get out of your head that Israel proceeds by telling the truth, and most of all, you must disabuse yourself of the notion that it is an ally of the United States.

Israel is no ally.  It is not even a friend of the United States.

 

 

 

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:30 | 4557883 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I think you grossly misread my comment.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:45 | 4557925 forwardho
forwardho's picture

You included Israel in your comment.

That ellicits a pavlovian response from JCB.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4558190 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Cute - any errors or mistakes or unfair inferences in my assessment you'd care to point out, or are you just happy to play Thought Police for perpetually blameless Zion?

See, I loathe the effort to lie us into another war that could kill tens or even hundreds of thousands, particularly after seeing the needless bloody clusterfuck of Iraq and its hundreds of thousands, predictably, dead or maimed.  Particularly because Iran, like Iraq, doesn't threaten the United States, and a war with Iran, like Iraq, was cheered on by the same Israel Lobby and the same Israel Firster neocons.

Why don't you?

I'll give you a moment to look up your answer.

 

p.s. Fuck Israel. Or at least this batshit crazy Likud version of it. A version we're going to be stuck with because the Israelis have been in large part indoctrinated to reject any {outside} criticism of their actions as mere "anti-semitism" - which is a great way to never have to seriously examine the ethics of one's murderous occupation of another people, or perpetual "defensive" bombing of civilians.  And shitheads like you, with glib, inane comments, perpetuate this lack of insight.  So I'd like to invite you to go fuck yourself. Good and hard.  Get the whole fist in there, Sally.

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4558232 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

He made a good point though, which is, the Israeli Deep State has absolutely no intention ever of co-existing with Palestinian arabs.  Once you understand that fact you can see the "mideast peace process" for the convenient optics tool for US cheap, degenerate politicos, and for the utter farce that it really is.  Israels intention is to slowly, but completely, rub out Palestine, as a culture and as a political potential, and to sow crippling discord in all the surrounding Arab states.  Israel will be the only power in the eastern med, or they will literally die trying.  Period, full stop, end of story.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4558192 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

I don't. It was pretty clear that you take for granted things about the Israel/Iran confrontation which are untrue.

Your comment was premised on not knowing what you're talking about.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:57 | 4557957 zionhead
zionhead's picture

Like all predators you watch what they they do, not what they say.

Forget about IRAN.

Watch Syria, Ukraine, and Kazakhastan;

Then look for other Russian speaking areas that Zio- think's they can bring over to the dark side.

Make no mistake, IRAN is not the goal, the goal is to enclose Russia and tighten the noose.

All other country's on earth are on ZIO payrolls, game-over is now.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:51 | 4558853 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Well Johnny if you read the Protocols you'll see that control of the media means control of the agenda means............CONTROL.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:30 | 4557747 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture

with Putin continuing to hold all the chips.

Casino chips?

fish and chips?

Guess he is waiting for the west to put salt and vinegar on them............then he will eat them!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:56 | 4557807 free_lunch
free_lunch's picture

 

Interesting interview with Jim Sinclair: on sanctions, the dollar, gold, threat of nuclear war, economic war..

 

"On possible U.S. sanctions on Russia, such as excluding them out of the international payment system called the SWIFT system, Sinclair says, “The use of the SWIFT system (Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication) to create a difficulty, almost a prohibitive difficulty in doing business by preventing bank wires, that would be one of the possibilities.  Already, the BRICS nations are developing their own SWIFT system.  So, the mistake of using the SWIFT system, short of absolute war, is that it has created a competitor that all the BRICS will be using.”  Sinclair also thinks, “To sanction Russia is to forget that Russia supplies Europe with its gas supplies.  To sanction Russia is to forget there are many U.S. and European corporations operating within Russia right now.  I honestly believe sanctioning Russia is the same as shooting yourself in the foot.”


link: Putin Has Nuclear Economic Bomb
Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:06 | 4557832 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Competition is a good thing, right? Competing local currencies and all that.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:17 | 4557857 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The US/EU won't do shit, they'll just keep the propaganda blowhorns going and continue on with all theye got, printing moar fake money.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:30 | 4558059 silvermail
silvermail's picture

In this video you can see how the power of truth, defeats the forces of evil, the forces of false, military and police democracy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtJ9BYtQDjA

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:03 | 4558912 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

The video shows the playing of the US and USSR national anthems.  And your point is?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:27 | 4557738 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Go long bread lines!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:47 | 4557781 Independent
Independent's picture

In Ukraine certainly the bread lines will get longer.  In Crimea freedom from Jewitch Nuland's evil nazi empire IS FREEDOM AT LAST

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:29 | 4557744 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Meanwhile, Pelosi is having her hair and nails done...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:36 | 4557756 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Her skin is being stretched.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:39 | 4557763 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Don't want to even think about any other part of that hag being "stretched"

Ugh!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:46 | 4557779 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I looked straight into it's eyes......is that bad?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:29 | 4557878 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

"Her skin is being stretched."

Like in 'The Silence of the Lambs.'

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:34 | 4557891 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Did you use a mirror? And if not, have you turned to stone?

Trying to validate a theory.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:37 | 4557759 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture

@StychoKiller

Pelosi needs her FACE done!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:44 | 4557803 Independent
Independent's picture

Stychokiller quest que ce ta da ta da to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eeX9rdmld0

Quite a few Psychokiller Jewitches out there like Victoria Nuland, Barbara Feinstein, and Boxer just to name a few

Why the down arrows, you control the media already let me enjoy my little bit of freedom of expression on zero hedge

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:32 | 4557751 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Time for Phase II, the "Allen Parson's Project!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:36 | 4557758 forwardho
forwardho's picture

" I don't care... what you do... I wouldn't want to be like You?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:05 | 4557830 Oleander
Oleander's picture

"Don't answer me. Stay on your island, Don't let me in?"

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:11 | 4557842 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Time for Phase II, the "Allen Parson's Project!"

 

Hope the new album comes out soon....I'm ready for some new theme music to every single sporting event.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wll_zG8g8GI

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:58 | 4558088 silvermail
silvermail's picture

Obama should urgently release a music album "The Red LineS."

I think it will be a great success!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:43 | 4557921 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

More Tales of Mystery and Imagination a la Flight 370? 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:32 | 4557752 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

This can't possibly be that "seamless" transition the West promised could never happen;-)

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:39 | 4557762 Ulterior
Ulterior's picture

Logically, we can expect public burning of USA flags and Obambam maniken

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:07 | 4557838 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

And...U.S. draft cards, for those of you who remember.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:41 | 4557767 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

See, you don't have to be in the army to fight in the war ...
Mungo Jerry, "You Don't Have To Be In The Army To Fight In The War":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RedM0X1tWE

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:41 | 4557768 laomei
laomei's picture

So I just figured out Obama's master plan.

Trigger events in ukraine, pissing off russia, who then reacts and the eu and us can get all pissy.  things lead to things because reasons and bam ww3.  nukes fly and when the radioactive cinder settles, russia, the eu and the us are glassed over and all the white people are dead.  the gop is on board with it because "haha, we dont have to repay the debt if we're all dead" so financially it's rather sound as well.

 

Aussie survives, but China depopulates it and white people have a choice of either being in zoos or being slaves.  After seeing the state of Chinese zoos, most elect to be slaves.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:01 | 4557817 Independent
Independent's picture

Me thinks they wanted to get Russia to pick up their bill from destroying Ukraine and stealing all its gold and Scythian gold artifacts.  However Russia has a smart leader like Putin who knew that this was a ploy to get him and Russia to overstretch and become economically weak and vulnerable paying for a wrecked country of 46 million people.  Russia reunited with the best part, Crimea, only 2 million people.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:09 | 4557843 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Obama's master plan was this : he's pissed at Putin for having his ass kicked in Syria... so his plan was this :

- Overthrow Ukraine

- Install hardcore anti-Russians in power

- Wait for Putin's response (he looks bad and at best he takes over Crimea or even eastern Ukraine but not the whole of Ukraine)

- Wait for things to settle down

- NATO and the EU take over western Ukraine... NATO moves closer and closer to Russia

- Eastern European countries are more and more paranoid about Russia, so they crank up their military budgets

- $$$ for arms dealers.

War is a racket... but in this day and age, war can end civilization.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:13 | 4557848 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

Putin finance advisor spoke today:

Mr. Glazyev said earlier today that Russia would be forced to switch to other currencies and set up its own payment system if US Senate were to sanction it over Ukraine.

The advisor claimed that Moscow would recommend everyone to get rid of their US Treasury bonds if the United States froze the assets of Russian public institutions and private investors. He added that Russia would also have to default on its loans to American banks.
Read more: http://voiceofrussia.com/news/2014_03_04/268000581/

 

watch gold, better yet buy, this ain't over yet.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:23 | 4557866 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I don't think the 'U.S.' will do jack shit, Putin the ex KGB guy poleaxed them here, and while they may be mad and embarassed, they're just muttering under their breath while bleedingand walking off. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:10 | 4557988 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Vlad split Obama harder than Reggie Love ever imagined.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:44 | 4557775 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Best of luck to the Crimean people. Ukrainians, not so much.

Ukraine will be Raped and Pilliaged by the Western Banksters and Monsanto as well. Let us all know how it feels to be Bent-Over and screwed while eating GMO??? Incidently, you chose POORLY...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:04 | 4557787 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

If they see Crimean banks open and pensions and salaries being paid in full and on time, they might choose DIFFERENTLY...

To paraphrase Chucky Schumer- time for Mario. Janet & Cristine to "Get to work!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:49 | 4557784 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

The real question is do we have enough sense to go quietly into the night or will the globalists kick off a world war?  The contraction is under way.  We can throw all of our remaining energy into fighting it much as Hitler threw the last of his army into the Battle of the Bulge or we can organize a protracted retreat that will allow the status quo to continue for a while longer.

 

Push a war and the lights go out.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:04 | 4557973 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

There will be no war. How does Obama start a war when 93% of Crimeans voted to secede? As we saw with Syria, Obama and the other neocons need at least a semblance of popular support for their wars. Putin has the moral high ground now and can say that he is implementing the will of the Crimean people, and he would be correct.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:51 | 4557789 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY!"
("Your winnings sir.")

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:53 | 4557795 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Rumble over the Ruble

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:30 | 4557879 kwality
kwality's picture

Ruble Trooble.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:54 | 4557800 Drifter
Drifter's picture

"Russian lawmakers to consider bill on March 21 that would allow Russia to incorporate parts of countries where residents want to secede, says a Kremlin adviser"

Can we apply?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 07:58 | 4557811 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Don't count your rubles before they hatch.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:03 | 4557825 Independent
Independent's picture

Certainly don't bother counting your gold bars if Jewitch Victoria Nuland took over your government

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:12 | 4557822 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Ukraine plans to discuss possible forms of cooperation with NATO - acting foreign minister of Ukraine

This will end super well...

All good too...
http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/US_weighs_request_for_military_aid_fro...
US weighs request for military aid from Ukraine: officials

The United States is "reviewing" a request from Ukraine's leaders for arms and other military assistance, officials said Thursday, denying reports they had rejected Kiev's appeal.

The requests cover a range of both lethal and non-lethal aid, including intelligence support, ammunition and weapons, administration officials said.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:03 | 4557826 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Compare this to the ObamaNationCare implementation. If this was Obama, he would still be trying to find the Ukraine on a map.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:13 | 4557847 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I wouldn't buy into this obviously fake celebration with a bag of free money found on the roadside.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:48 | 4557933 Independent
Independent's picture

I wouldn't buy into the wolf in sheep's clothing trying to get sheep to cross the road and join it.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:17 | 4557860 ross81
ross81's picture

The West immediately recognises the Russophobic putsch regime in Kiev but then gasps in horror when ethnic Russians in Crimea choose not to be part of the neo-Nazi orgy? There surely has to be a counter-revolution in Ukraine at some point soon. My question to the useful idiots who basically allowed these crazed goosesteppers to overthrow Yanukovich is: what the fuck are you going to do now that it appears the best (and Russian speaking) parts of your country want to secede?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:22 | 4557865 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Neo-Cons are using Neo-Nazis to hurt Russia (and Europe and the word in the process). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-mnRuckQkU

Some of the Ukrainian "patriots" in this video are now ministers in the U.S.-installed Kiev regime.

Neo-Cons broke Iraq, broke Libya, broke Syria, and are now breaking Ukraine.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:27 | 4557875 not4sale2nwo
not4sale2nwo's picture

You forgot to mention they broke the U.S with all their wars for israel.

Neo-Cons are deadly parasites intent on global destruction.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:40 | 4557909 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Well Iraq was, largely, for sure.

"Neocons" are nothing but Zionists who want to use US blood and treasure for Greater Israel.

And in light of some wise comments by Kirk recently - to clarify, this doesn't mean "The Jews" or even most Jews or Zionists, but a significant, very wealthy, hyperethnocentric, and powerful minority which has practical allies in many moderate pro-Israel types who buy they Israel as victim narratives and don't understand the militarism and expansionism of Israel's nationalist and religious right. They also have allies in militarist realists {or so-called realists} and millions of useful idiot Christian Zionists.

They also benefit from being able to smear any criticism as "anti-semitic" even though what is offensive about them is not their race but their ideology, and their ceaseless efforts to hijack US policy, conflate it with Israel's, and engage in endless wars justified with abject lies promulgated in a, frankly, heavily Jewish and Zionist press, and in dozens of heavily Jewish and Zionist think tanks. 

And they will not rest until they lie the US into a war with Iran based on the complete ruse of a nuclear weapons program that threatens poor nuclear apartheid Israel. 

They'll get it, too.  They almost did a few years back.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:36 | 4558079 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Great points.  That's exactly why I won't talk about "The Joos" on this or any website.  It's imprecise, lazy, and misleading.  What we're talking about is a very specific, small, group of people.  They all have personal connections to, among others, Henry Kissinger and a tiny group of international financiers.  The Jewish family here in Minneapolis at whose house my son stayed overnight on Saturday have nothing to do with this, and are in fact appalled by it.  Lumping them in with these neo-con ultra-Zionist monsters is really a travesty.  And it puts ZH in a bad light.  I wish people would stop doing it.  Let's be specific, and name the names.  Much harder for saboteurs, trolls and 'bots to discredit the truth when you don't give them easy handles like ethnic bigotry.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:18 | 4558992 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

'Neocons are nothing but Zioinsists who want to use US blood and treasure to further the interests of Greater Israel'

 

These words should be emblazxoned over the doors of every public institution in the USSA.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:31 | 4557884 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

You can, come what may, count on the press to be unfair and unbalanced.

I'm sure the plan was to piggy back on the street thuggery of the ultra-nationalists and fascists, but I think you're right about their being secondary demonstrations or an attempt at a second revolution.  They mobilized the fuckers and plan to steal Ukraine right out from under them.  It is unlikely that the nationalists and fascists won't notice it being done and are already prepared to blame whom everyone knows they're gonna blame.

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:51 | 4557943 Independent
Independent's picture

Ross they will take the worst parts of Ukraine and make a mad dash to Join the EU, only problem is the citizens of EU wont want them but they dont get a referendum to decide, Brussels will take them in.  I hope there will be some demonstrations with storming of EU parliment in Brussels.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:25 | 4557873 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

congrats to the winners: the slightly less maniacal russians!

I do admire that even after all these years, they still remember just how to tell the US to go fuck itself.

They're probably all sitting around, swigging Vodka and deciding when to dump the T-Bills.

Obamas on hole 15, asking "whats a Ukraine? Some sort of construction machine?"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:56 | 4557926 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

a funny true story.

security firms in the us and uk and israel ARE HAVING GREAT DIFFICULTY FINDING SPECIAL OP GUYS TO GO INTO EASTERN UKRAINE.

they are having to get poles,georgians and specialists from czech and slovakia. at 5000 thousand dollars a day i would go myself but i have flat feet and sometimes suffer from flash backs and bouts of wankers cramp

it seems that the locals technique of surrounding and screaming black water at any heavy armed group has freaked some sas navy seals types out.

or it may just be that in iraq,libya and syria these soros agents could rape and pillage at will and they think russian special forces will not be such a push over.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:10 | 4557976 Independent
Independent's picture

Tony forget the Russian special forces, it was the average Russian citizen that beat down the SS to a pulp.  These blackwater ex military guys have studied history and Stalingrad.  Not good to be fighting Russians in their own CITY.  Plus there are many stories of how Nazi's were knifed after capture and interrogation, not pretty.  I also hear that those Cossacks with the horse whips can flail tiny pieces of skin off one at a time.  The greatest military blitzkrieg machine was ground to dust in Russian cities in Ukraine like at Krakov and Kiev and dont forget Stalingrad to name just a few places.  Also not to mention there is a huge army of Russian right across the border ready to storm in at a moments notice should anyone try to keep what I suspect are up coming referendums in the east from happening.  That is the brilliant move of Putin, he doesnt have to invade like the Western neo nazis and poles masquerading as Ukrainians, he only needs to keep the troops on the border as a deterrent.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 08:58 | 4557959 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Empire Strikes Back, bitches....

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:38 | 4558085 22winmag
22winmag's picture

My that was quick.

 

Now back to polishing the brass on the S.S. Titanic.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:43 | 4558108 nah
nah's picture

Russia can now ship LNG to other countries looking to vote themselves into Russian Federation as they wish

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:47 | 4558121 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Now here's the game plan Vlad.

 

1. Back the ruble with gold.

2. Extend to all the EU community the opportunity to join the Anti-Bolshevik Federation and extract themselves from the stranglehold of New Bolshevik debt that has been foisted upon them.

3. Watch as Greece, Portugal, Spain, Ireland, Italy.....all bail out of the EU for the new ABF leaving the last fool in the EU to pay off the debt.

 

Game Over.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4558130 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Another phone call is clearly needed.  It'll probably go like this...

Ofraud-a:  "Vlad, I assure you, the West will impose the strongest possible costs for this illegal act."

Putin:  "Barry, watch this video.  It's taken by a deep-cover ex-KGB agent in a Chicago bathouse back in the 90s.  You might recognize the submissive little bitch pulling a train in the center."

Switch scene:  White House Press room

Jay Carnyvale:  "And so, in light of the overwhelming nature of the vote in the Crimea, the U.S. sees no choice but to recognize the will of the people of Crimea to become a part of Russia.  Which is why we also have concluded a diplomatic victory by allowing Odessa and the remaining ethnic Russian enclaves of South-Eastern Ukraine to transfer to Russian authority."

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:19 | 4558298 RazvanM
RazvanM's picture

The voting presence in Crimea was 170%. The 4.5% of people saying NO are dead. Or will be. SOVIET STYLE FREEDOM!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 20:37 | 4561339 silvermail
silvermail's picture
  There were 123 observers from 55 countries. You have a sick fantasy.
Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:33 | 4558736 dropdeadfed
dropdeadfed's picture

Let's role tanks into Canada and Mexico then, hold a vote.  Should make for a great upswing for the DOW....

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