Crimea Names Ruble Currency; Applies To Join Russia, Expects To Become Russian Federation Region By Thursday

Tyler Durden's picture

First, for those who have missed this weekend's developing story surrounding events in Crimea, here is the 30 second summary, courtesy of Bloomberg:

  • U.S., EU warn Russia not to annex Crimea after 95.5% of voters backed leaving Ukraine to join Russia in referendum.
  • Ukrainian govt, EU, U.S. consider vote illegal
  • Russia said vote  “fully met international norms”
  • Russia deployed about 60,000 troops along Ukrainian border, Ukrainian government said yday; Ukraine closed border crossings and will mobilize as many as 15,000 volunteers in next 15 days
  • Obama spoke with Putin, said referendum would never be recognized by intl community; U.S. prepared to impose “additional costs” on Russia for its actions
  • Putin told Obama Kiev regime unable to curb radical, ultra- nationalists groups that are destabilizing situation, terrorizing peaceful residents
  • EU ministers meet today to discuss sanctions that target Russian individuals rather than businesses; EU leaders to meet March 20-21 in Brussels to discuss further measures
  • “We are all reluctant to impose sanctions because Russia will probably respond and we’ll all suffer as a result,” Poland Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski said on CNN. “But Russia is leaving us with no choice.”
  • Russian lawmakers to consider bill on March 21 that would allow Russia to incorporate parts of countries where residents want to secede, says a Kremlin adviser
  • Russia vetoed UN Security Council resolution declaring referendum illegal; China abstained from voting
  • Crimeans celebrate vote

And here is the latest : just hours ago, Crimea's parliament officially applied to become part of Russia. The parliament "made a proposal to the Russian Federation to admit the Republic of Crimea as a new subject with the status of a republic," according to a statement on its website. A Crimean parliamentary delegation was expected to arrive in Moscow on Monday to discuss the procedures required for the Black Sea peninsula to become part of the Russian Federation.

"If everything’s signed we’ll become a fully fledged region of the Russian Federation Wednesday or Thursday,” First Deputy Prime Minister Rustam Termigaliyev says in interview at govt headquarters in Simferopol. Termigaliyev added that Crimea will promptly get $1b aid from Russia in near-term, and that Hryvnia reserves enough for 10 days, then Crimea will switch to ruble. April pensions “most likely” to be paid in rubles. Crimea can be self-sufficient in natural gas after today’s nationalization of Chernomoreneftegaz. Crimea risks 150,000 hectares being left without water if Ukraine shuts off supply, though that’s “not critical,”  says Termigaliyev.

In other news, the west continues dithering and considering just how best to telegraph to the world that it is completely helpless in stopping the annexation of Crimea, which is now a fact, and that it is praying that Putin does nothing to annex any of the other Pro-Russian cities in east Ukraine in the coming days, as once again, it has absolutely no stopping power with Putin continuing to hold all the chips.

Want to know more? then you will have to wait until tomorrow, when Putin will address a joint session of parliament on Crimea on Tuesday, the Kremlin's representative to the lower house said.

The Kremlin press service did not immediately confirm Putin would address the session of the State Duma lower house and the Federation Council upper chamber.

But Garry Minkh, the Kremlin's representative in the State Duma, told reporters the president would deliver a speech to the joint session following Sunday's referendum in which Ukraine's Crimea region voted to join Russia.

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SilverIsKing's picture

Now they're gonna feel the wrath of Kerry. Today is Monday, right?


JackT's picture

US can't even deliver mail this fast - WTF?

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

And Putin declares, "Checkmate Yankee!"

GetZeeGold's picture



Obama will be absent from the security briefing....again.


He'll be out working on his flexibility.

Headbanger's picture

Because Obama...  is just a slick telepromter talking pussy.

Wahooo's picture

I read this morning that Scotland is itching to secede from the UK. Obama better hurry up and overthrow Scotland's first minister and replace him with a Nazi.

J S Bach's picture

76 years ago, a similar plebicite was voted upon in Austria to join the German Reich.  The result was a 95% "Ja".  Of course, the "international community" condemned it and said Hitler was invading.   Same thing when the Sudetan Germans voted to leave Czechoslovakia.  Let's face it... people of varying races and ethnicities just want to live amongst their own kind.  The ethnic Russians in the Crimea are merely doing the natural thing.  More power to 'em.

MrsMerkel's picture

Right, because Nazi German annexations are a good precedent for today's international affairs......

J S Bach's picture

Some of them, yes.


Unnatural "nations" must be abolished.  The true definition of "nation" is basically an extended ethnic state.  Countries like Yugoslavia, Iraq and the southern lands of what was once the USSR cannot be held together long if their constituents are not of the same ethnicity, religion, race, etc...


Again... it is natural for diverse humans (like all other animals) to form their own living areas.

Husk-Erzulie's picture

Does anyone here know yet who the twenty-one sanctioned individuals are?  I.E. have a list?

agent default's picture

"Unnatural "nations" must be abolished.  The true definition of "nation" is basically an extended ethnic state. " 

You do realise the implications for the US, if this was to become reality, right?

J S Bach's picture

Yes... the breakdown of the United States along ethnic/racial lines is inevitable.  Because we have such a vast continent in which to "flight" ourselves, this will obviously take time.  When an entire country is the size of Ohio, natural strains amongst diverse peoples occurs more rapidly.  Also, catostrophic economic pressures tend to accelerate these divisions... something the United States has yet to experience since we've become such a salad bowl of ethnicities.  It is coming.

Rafferty's picture

'You do realise the implications for the US, if this was to become reality, right?'


Yes, America could go back to the way it was, a successful nation comprised of 90% Christian European stock.

Rafferty's picture

' Let's face it... people of varying races and ethnicities just want to live amongst their own kind. '


Unless they're White, in which case it's RACIST

Independent's picture

Congratulations Crimea for escaping the evil clutches of the EVIL JEWITCH Victoria NULAND.  Unfortunately for the rest of Ukraine she has already plundered its Gold and Precious ancient Scythian artifacts which now adorn her Tel Aviv Penthouse.

layman_please's picture

welcome home, crimea

for the inquisitive ones who are not so adept in cyrillic, CCCP means USSR

TruthInSunshine's picture

As I mentioned in another thread, and bear with me on this.

The very last thing that Israeli Hawks want to see is a formal agreement with Iran adopted that takes the possibility of military strikes against Iran off the table.

Why/How is this related to Crimea?

Israeli Hawks can foment obstruction of the possibility of any peaceful, formal resolution of the Iran "issue" by using the Crimean situation to do so.

By annexing Crimea (regardless as to whether one thinks it was proper, legal, etc.), the sanctions being threatened against Russia serve as the perfect roadblock for any such formal'deal to be solidified, since Russia would be much more likely to strengthen Iran's bargaining position and even drive them to make demands that cause any prospective deal to fall'apart, in retaliation for economic sanctions imposed against Russia vis-a-vis Crimea.

And Israel gets the implicit green light to strike Iran militarily as a result of such a "breakdown" in the possibility achieving a formal, binding agreement regarding Iran and nuclear enrichment.

DeadFred's picture

Yes but by creating a situation with a high probability that Obama suffers yet another major loss of face they increase the possibility that O ratchets up the pressure for a two nation peace deal in order to bring about the face saving photo op he needs and maybe another Peace Prize for it. Are the hawks short sighted enough that they will take the risk? Or maybe they know the peace deal is already a fait accompli?

Independent's picture

The price for Western brokered peace deal is all of Ukraine's Gold and Cultural Heritage Artifacts.  If the USA keeps this UP we will soon be filling Ft Knox full of GOLD

silvermail's picture

A new term for the so-called American democracy: the Military-Police democracy.

Yanukovych invited opposition for talks. He is a dictator and a tyrant.
Yatseniuk sent against the people army tanks. He is a Democrat and a liberal.
How to call it? Military-police US-democracy.

Johnny Cocknballs's picture


First off, the whole nuclear issue is a ruse. Bibi has been saying Iran was months away from a nuke, while building more of his own, for 20 years.

After how many years of his proclamations do you begin to suspect he's lying> ? 


Second, and largely consequently, the side making demands designed to cause any such peace-mongering deal to fail are, as always, the Israelis.  Do you have this backwards by ignorance or by agenda?  They have repeatedly moved the goalposts, and most recently, AIPAC, one of Israel's 5th Columns which a sane country would have made register as an agent of a foreign power, took their orders from Likud, and gave them to Congress to make Iran's missiles a part of the deal. 

Meanwhile, Israel continues its bloody occupation, killing and crippling Palestinian children without repercussion, and after an unprovoked attack on Gaza resulted in rocket fire, the rocket fire they counted on getting, they bombed Gaza again - and as usual, it was disproportionate, and couched in the western media as a "response" to the "rocket fire" from those Arab terrorists.

Israel, and Likud in particular have no intention of a peaceful resolution to their desire for regime change in Iran, just as they have no intention of doing anything but continuing their colonization and slow burn ethnic cleansing of "Judea and Samaria"  - a process carried out since the 1940s, when Israel was born via teror attacks on British civil servants and Arab civilians. 

Not only is there no evidence Iran is working on a nuclear weapon, US intelligence agencies agree that they are not.  They are subject to inspections, and while Iran's former president was misquoted all over the media, virtually no media reported on the genocidal exhortations of Jewish leaders in Israel - not wacky cult leaders, but major, mainstream rabbis, some on the payroll of Israel.

Moreover, not only is there no evidence, Israel and/or its agents have tried to fake evidence, including the "laptop of death."  Meanwhile, Israelis have posed as CIA agents in Iran {see the Mark Perry article}. The alleged plot to murder the Saudi ambassador disappeared from the press - likely intended to blame Iran, it was too amateurish to use.  Israel likely faked a recent alleged transfer of weapons to Gaza, and is still here and there trying to blame Iran for the missing Malaysian flight.

Make no mistake - Netanyahu swore before Congress there was no doubt about Iraq working on nukes - and he was lying...not mistaken, but lying.  Meanwhile, neoconservative Jews with ties to Netanyahu embedded themselves in the Pentagon to fabricate evidence and lie us into Iraq, not for oil, and not for the petrodollar, but for Israel.


You have to get out of your head that Israel proceeds by telling the truth, and most of all, you must disabuse yourself of the notion that it is an ally of the United States.

Israel is no ally.  It is not even a friend of the United States.





TruthInSunshine's picture

I think you grossly misread my comment.

forwardho's picture

You included Israel in your comment.

That ellicits a pavlovian response from JCB.

Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Cute - any errors or mistakes or unfair inferences in my assessment you'd care to point out, or are you just happy to play Thought Police for perpetually blameless Zion?

See, I loathe the effort to lie us into another war that could kill tens or even hundreds of thousands, particularly after seeing the needless bloody clusterfuck of Iraq and its hundreds of thousands, predictably, dead or maimed.  Particularly because Iran, like Iraq, doesn't threaten the United States, and a war with Iran, like Iraq, was cheered on by the same Israel Lobby and the same Israel Firster neocons.

Why don't you?

I'll give you a moment to look up your answer.


p.s. Fuck Israel. Or at least this batshit crazy Likud version of it. A version we're going to be stuck with because the Israelis have been in large part indoctrinated to reject any {outside} criticism of their actions as mere "anti-semitism" - which is a great way to never have to seriously examine the ethics of one's murderous occupation of another people, or perpetual "defensive" bombing of civilians.  And shitheads like you, with glib, inane comments, perpetuate this lack of insight.  So I'd like to invite you to go fuck yourself. Good and hard.  Get the whole fist in there, Sally.


Husk-Erzulie's picture

He made a good point though, which is, the Israeli Deep State has absolutely no intention ever of co-existing with Palestinian arabs.  Once you understand that fact you can see the "mideast peace process" for the convenient optics tool for US cheap, degenerate politicos, and for the utter farce that it really is.  Israels intention is to slowly, but completely, rub out Palestine, as a culture and as a political potential, and to sow crippling discord in all the surrounding Arab states.  Israel will be the only power in the eastern med, or they will literally die trying.  Period, full stop, end of story.

Johnny Cocknballs's picture

I don't. It was pretty clear that you take for granted things about the Israel/Iran confrontation which are untrue.

Your comment was premised on not knowing what you're talking about.

zionhead's picture

Like all predators you watch what they they do, not what they say.

Forget about IRAN.

Watch Syria, Ukraine, and Kazakhastan;

Then look for other Russian speaking areas that Zio- think's they can bring over to the dark side.

Make no mistake, IRAN is not the goal, the goal is to enclose Russia and tighten the noose.

All other country's on earth are on ZIO payrolls, game-over is now.

Rafferty's picture

Well Johnny if you read the Protocols you'll see that control of the media means control of the agenda means............CONTROL.

XAU XAG's picture

with Putin continuing to hold all the chips.

Casino chips?

fish and chips?

Guess he is waiting for the west to put salt and vinegar on them............then he will eat them!

free_lunch's picture


Interesting interview with Jim Sinclair: on sanctions, the dollar, gold, threat of nuclear war, economic war..


"On possible U.S. sanctions on Russia, such as excluding them out of the international payment system called the SWIFT system, Sinclair says, “The use of the SWIFT system (Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication) to create a difficulty, almost a prohibitive difficulty in doing business by preventing bank wires, that would be one of the possibilities.  Already, the BRICS nations are developing their own SWIFT system.  So, the mistake of using the SWIFT system, short of absolute war, is that it has created a competitor that all the BRICS will be using.”  Sinclair also thinks, “To sanction Russia is to forget that Russia supplies Europe with its gas supplies.  To sanction Russia is to forget there are many U.S. and European corporations operating within Russia right now.  I honestly believe sanctioning Russia is the same as shooting yourself in the foot.”

link: Putin Has Nuclear Economic Bomb
Wahooo's picture

Competition is a good thing, right? Competing local currencies and all that.

SheepDog-One's picture

The US/EU won't do shit, they'll just keep the propaganda blowhorns going and continue on with all theye got, printing moar fake money.

silvermail's picture

In this video you can see how the power of truth, defeats the forces of evil, the forces of false, military and police democracy.

Rafferty's picture

The video shows the playing of the US and USSR national anthems.  And your point is?

firstdivision's picture

Go long bread lines!

Independent's picture

In Ukraine certainly the bread lines will get longer.  In Crimea freedom from Jewitch Nuland's evil nazi empire IS FREEDOM AT LAST

StychoKiller's picture

Meanwhile, Pelosi is having her hair and nails done...

forwardho's picture

Don't want to even think about any other part of that hag being "stretched"


GetZeeGold's picture



I looked straight into it's that bad?

TruthInSunshine's picture

"Her skin is being stretched."

Like in 'The Silence of the Lambs.'

forwardho's picture

Did you use a mirror? And if not, have you turned to stone?

Trying to validate a theory.

Independent's picture

Stychokiller quest que ce ta da ta da to

Quite a few Psychokiller Jewitches out there like Victoria Nuland, Barbara Feinstein, and Boxer just to name a few

Why the down arrows, you control the media already let me enjoy my little bit of freedom of expression on zero hedge

TideFighter's picture

Time for Phase II, the "Allen Parson's Project!"

forwardho's picture

" I don't care... what you do... I wouldn't want to be like You?

Oleander's picture

"Don't answer me. Stay on your island, Don't let me in?"


GetZeeGold's picture



Time for Phase II, the "Allen Parson's Project!"


Hope the new album comes out soon....I'm ready for some new theme music to every single sporting event.


silvermail's picture

Obama should urgently release a music album "The Red LineS."

I think it will be a great success!