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Kermit Kaption Kontest

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today Kermit rang the bell for the NYSE. That is all.

 

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Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:20 | 4560358 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Muppets?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:23 | 4560380 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Slaughter coming soon. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4560393 bania
bania's picture

was blankfein the puppeteer? that would be funny.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:29 | 4560403 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Hi everybody, this market's going to fuck you harder than I do Miss Piggy - and I slaughter that hog!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:35 | 4560442 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Jump, you little green fcuker.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:38 | 4560461 Tippoo Sultan
Tippoo Sultan's picture

"Pimpin' to muppets, it's easy makin' green - suckas !"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:39 | 4560466 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

My favorite muppet has always been Fozzie the Bear.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:43 | 4560474 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

"Let me be clear"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:47 | 4560483 Looney
Looney's picture

GREEN Kermit? This is racist and homophobic!  ;-)

Looney

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:51 | 4560499 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Today was brought to you by the number 0 and the word "hedge"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:06 | 4560564 strannick
strannick's picture

Ask not for whom the all-time high market's bell tolls. It tolls for Ms. Piggy

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:20 | 4560626 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Ms. Piggy becomes bacon. Kermy, have you no heart?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:28 | 4560661 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

 

 

 

Most intelligent presidential staff member.  All others are flies.

Lord of the Flies.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:38 | 4560712 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

You take the golden AN and you put it in a tan van driven by stan...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:36 | 4560904 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Don't forget what's at the end of the "Rainbow Connection", Kermie.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:54 | 4560976 WorkingClassHero
WorkingClassHero's picture

Q:  Whats long and green and smells like pork?

 

A:  Kermit the frogs finger

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:59 | 4560994 prains
prains's picture

...."In Muppets We Trust"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:23 | 4561073 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

What's green and smells like pork?

 

Kermit's dick...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:48 | 4561159 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Did they show the 10 ton weight squashing the little guy flat when he hit the button?

It's not easy being green....

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 20:21 | 4561277 it aint easy
it aint easy's picture

Fleeced!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:52 | 4560507 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its a bear trap!   RUN!!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:39 | 4560467 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Gay Bob from CNBS in the costume? he always wanted to be a drag queen

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:35 | 4560698 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Q:  What is green and smells like pork?

A:  Kermit's Finger

 

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:25 | 4561083 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Oops...ah well, they both smell like bacon...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:04 | 4560815 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

He would not need a puppet to get laughs.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:25 | 4560394 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

I just want to know if Kermit has signed up for 0care

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:29 | 4560421 Eigen20
Eigen20's picture

Clearly if anyone rings a bell at the top, it will be a muppet.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:56 | 4560527 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

LOL!!- let's ask some j's who got notes from mommy to get out of 4th grade dodge-ball to pick the winning hoops teams...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:46 | 4560488 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Road kill.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:30 | 4560385 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Reeks of manipulation...they don't even try to hide it, I see the string, and he's reading off a teleprompter!!!

Oh, my bad, I thought we were talking about Big O...I see nothing unusual about Kermit

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:00 | 4561002 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Kermit = frog investor.  Frogs = amphibians. 

Amphibians can "hold breath" for a long time, if need be.  Uh-oh!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:25 | 4560392 VD
VD's picture

all itz missing is (FAKE) BLOOD SPLATTER!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:37 | 4560449 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Kermit says, by the time we get done fuckin youz muppets you're gonna wish it was simply Miss Piggy trying out her new dominator strap on you Bitchez!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:50 | 4560497 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

Feeling froggy? Jump!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:18 | 4560622 August
August's picture

Muppets... at the NYSE

Inconceiveable!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:08 | 4561032 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

[light bulb goes on]  Hang on... Remember when we bitched about Merkel caving to (rolling over onto her belly for) Obama?

Well, I just remembered that the Germans bought the NYSE.  Has the "penny dropped" for you too?  If Merkel had gone against Obama, Germany's ownership of the NYSE could've cratered, thus cratering her career (if not her very life).

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:20 | 4560359 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Might as well be a fucking muppet...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4560397 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow depression..."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:28 | 4560411 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Kermit "Thanks to Fraud Street - We're all Muppets now!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 18:35 | 4560905 HisNameIsRP
HisNameIsRP's picture

first thing that came to mind.  nice

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:30 | 4560412 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Dbl post  

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:20 | 4560362 SteveNYC
SteveNYC's picture

Like the market, it is a dead entity being controlled by external forces pulling strings? Oh, and may have a hand up its ass?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:58 | 4560537 B.J. Worthy
B.J. Worthy's picture

And it's green.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:29 | 4560666 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Green for Paddys Day like all the cockbag's neckties on TV that aren't even Irish!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:21 | 4560363 Godot
Godot's picture

Let me show you idiots how the re-set button is supposed to work.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:22 | 4560365 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"I'm not the only one around here with somebody's hand shoved up my ass controlling me."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:39 | 4560465 libertysghost
libertysghost's picture

Damn...you beat me to it.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 00:48 | 4561952 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

I'm confused were you referring to Obama or kermit?  /sarc off

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:21 | 4560370 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

It ain't easy being green. Unless you got a Yen-cross, and a funny Bear buddy.

Wakka Wakka.

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:22 | 4560372 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Kermit to be found later "suicided" by self-inflicted pneumatic nail gun wounds.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:43 | 4560480 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Look what happens to gold when muppets ring the bell.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:22 | 4560375 agent default
agent default's picture

It's only appropriate.  I don't see why this shouldn't be standard practice from now on.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:24 | 4560383 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

HFM: High Frequency Muppet

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:24 | 4560386 pound the vix
pound the vix's picture

This market is as real as me

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:24 | 4560387 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

they are so blunt obvious about it now

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:25 | 4560389 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

Rise of the Muppet hordes?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:25 | 4560391 Martin T
Martin T's picture

Go long suckers!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4560396 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

obama???

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4560400 blabam
blabam's picture

Winter is coming. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:41 | 4560404 jubber
jubber's picture

"Why am I in The Truman Show?"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:28 | 4560407 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"Where's Miss Piggy? I'm lookin' to smoke some pork!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:36 | 4560413 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Green Frog event?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:28 | 4560414 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

"all in muppets,,,it's not easy printing green"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:28 | 4560416 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

"Do not ask for whom the bell doth toll............"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:29 | 4560419 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Fucking awesome. They aren't even trying to disguise the "muppet"-vocabulary anymore...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:56 | 4561179 messymerry
messymerry's picture

Mongo just pawn in game of life.  Sheriff Bart only one to ever whip Mongo...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:30 | 4560424 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

What, no reach around.........!?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:33 | 4560433 quidam
quidam's picture

"I've been lied to...this water is BOILING!!"
Stupid muppets.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:33 | 4560434 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Another "economic tool" used by the fed to keep markets calm? On the verge of war with Russia because we have an incompetent president, all while the market keeps making all time highs... How do we keep it together??? Send out that green prick Kermit.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:34 | 4560439 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Anyone remember the National Lampoon frog?

http://www.bizbag.com/Cartoons/cartoon%20home%20page.htm

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:04 | 4561015 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Yeah, good call man +1

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:36 | 4560441 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Time to fleece the sheep!

The Muppet Show - Singing Sheep:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrZN0mMF-zs

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:36 | 4560444 Cornholiovanderbilt
Cornholiovanderbilt's picture

Even muppets can make money in this 'market'

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:36 | 4560445 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

so what company is he representing?  GS? 

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:37 | 4560451 Roscoe
Roscoe's picture

What's green and smells like Yellen? No, seriously folks it's great to be here, Ms. Piggy sends her regards, and asked me to remind everyone that there's still plenty of room in this market for pigs. No one is going to get slaughtered anytime soon! This is the other side of the rainbow, here in Amereica, where all your dreams come true, and green frog puppets of questionable lineage can overcome their color and ring the bell at the NYSE, which, where I come from stands for 'New Yellen Sucker Experiment. Love to stay and chat, but my arm rods are getting tired....

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:37 | 4560452 seek
seek's picture

Nothing says overconfidence than the muppet-users using a muppet to ring the bell.

The next crash will come soon if the level of hubris is that high.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:37 | 4560453 stant
stant's picture

now on to the whitehouse i hear they want to push a red button

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:37 | 4560456 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Let's see his birth certificate!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:40 | 4560470 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

..."it's pronounced moo-PAY..."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:45 | 4560484 libertysghost
libertysghost's picture

"Kermit the Frog here!  Is it true that when I ring this bell all the CNBC host begin to salivate?"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:46 | 4560486 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

This market is brought to you by the letters "F" and "U".

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:49 | 4560490 agstacks
agstacks's picture

A muppet with his mouth wide open and his eyes wide shut. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:49 | 4560492 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

HELP! Someone is trying to sell Miss Piggy for pork bellies!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:51 | 4560501 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

"Pull my green finger", win a prize.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:51 | 4560502 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

"Not one of you recognizes the irony of this."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:52 | 4560508 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

GS,.. you watching?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:56 | 4560526 fzrkid
fzrkid's picture

at least the bernanke is not my puppet master.. Beoches!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:57 | 4560531 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

A little obvious, isnt it?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:53 | 4560771 Brindle702
Brindle702's picture

They no longer feel that they need to be subtle regarding the Muppet reference.  Maybe this is a new new normal?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:04 | 4560563 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

did he see his shadow?

6 moar weeks before the thaw, the melting, you get the idea.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:04 | 4560565 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

...and a big muppet thank you to Lloyd Blankfein and the wonderful folks at Goldman Sachs for keeping the muppet name alive and well. And now, here is Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayham with their version of Randy Newman's "It's Money That I Love".

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:05 | 4560567 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

tomorrow bert and ernie to please the mos that got left out of the parade?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:08 | 4560577 highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture

Giant Plush toy to break the fall of the Bankers jumping....Just Jamie and Lloyd mocking.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:10 | 4560586 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Sell Mortimer. Sell!

 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:37 | 4560707 bentaxle
bentaxle's picture

Gold Bitchez.........yay!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:48 | 4560753 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Literal manipulation, it's that simple

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:51 | 4560765 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

they do ring a bell when the market tops, and the muppets get to ring it

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:53 | 4560772 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Someone's hand is up that puppet's ass to make its lips move.

 

Kermit and Obama have something in common.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:56 | 4560784 Throwinghammers
Throwinghammers's picture

Greg Smith your hands cold!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 17:56 | 4560785 Throwinghammers
Throwinghammers's picture

Greg Smith your hands cold!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:08 | 4561031 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

The inside joke at GS gets the public stage.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:28 | 4561065 Ranger19
Ranger19's picture

I said my name is Allen Green Frog Damnit!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 19:59 | 4561197 Andre
Andre's picture

It's detonator, not a bell.

"Allahu Akba!r"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 20:03 | 4561210 messymerry
messymerry's picture

We're all muppets now...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 20:48 | 4561378 zstard
zstard's picture

The frog of war

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 21:34 | 4561490 simplejustice
simplejustice's picture

If they only knew how close the water is to the boiling point.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 21:44 | 4561509 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

The Muppets Take Manhattan

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 22:03 | 4561574 pigs-n-space
pigs-n-space's picture

and it's GONE.............

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 22:23 | 4561631 Restcase
Restcase's picture

[Clears throat] You're probably wondering why I called you all here to day. [Laughter]

You're probably also wondering how to make a million dollars in the stock market. Easy! Start with $2 million and work you way down! [Laughter]

Hey, remember the stockbroker's credo: A man is a client until proven broke. [Applause, whistles]

How about that volatility? Last week the market dropped so fast, my blue chips turned green! [Crowd shouts, "green, green"]

But I never panic! I just call my broker. [Crowd: What do you call him?] You should hear what I call him!

Actually, I have a self-trading account, so I have a fool for a broker. [Laughter]

You can tell I'm an average investor. I'm alert, well informed, and I cry uncontrollably. [Laughter]

Have you heard about high frequency trading? You can take on thousands of losing positions in a nanosecond. [Groans, cheers]

I noticed Blythe Masters in the news recently. She could really put the broad in Broad Street. [Catcalls, whistles]

Hey, what are you doing with that hook, I haven't rung the bell yet...

 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 04:36 | 4562134 -NaN-
-NaN-'s picture

.... "how come every time I show up at the NYSE, someone shoves their arm up my ass and grabs my tonsils?"

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 05:05 | 4562150 bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

Just pull my string

I will do anything

I'm the TBTF puppet

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcD2iexGqZQ

James and Bobby Purify (good sound)

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