Lady Gaga's Vomit And State Department "Haircuts In Search Of A Brain"

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by James H. Kunstler of,

Those of you too caught up in Lady Gaga’s latest cutting edge art project — she arranged for another woman to vomit on her while seated at the keyboard to show, well, I guess to demonstrate that not even vomit cannot stop the power of pop music — may have missed the latest moves in our nation’s foreign policy quest to remain Hall Monitor of the World. It appears that the Crimean peninsula has voted rather persuasively to become part of adjoining Russia, a nation that they were functionally a province of longer than the USA has been the independent and exceptional beacon of liberty that we became. Now, all that’s left are some procedural formalities, and then our side has promised to do some very bad things to punish Russia for this dastardly outcome.

Have the Lady Gaga fans forgotten that our country set this whole fiasco in motion by promoting a tug-o-war between a proposed Russian free trade zone (the Customs Union) and the European Union (another trade zone) with Ukraine as the rope? Alas, the rope broke in the early going, leaving the Russians to try to splice it back together in some way that aligns with the ethnic composition of the territory and their treaty perquisites regarding port facilities on the Black Sea. This “crisis” has got Secretary of State Kerry pulling his hair out, perhaps in his own personal quest to achieve mature male hair equality with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov. Mr. Kerry has more work to do before the world will stop calling him “a haircut in search of a brain.”

Notice that for ten years the Russians have not been jumping up and down as the USA hops from one Central Asian state to the next blowing things up and arranging affairs so that hundreds of thousands of people get killed — quite a few by our cunning model airplanes controlled by military video gamesters, who blow away “folks” on morning watch before repairing to the nearest Taco Bell for an order of Doritos Locos (and a chance to watch Lady Gaga get vomit-tagged on their iPhones). I wonder how the USA would feel if the Russian foreign ministry ginned up an operation to persuade Texas to secede from the Union (again).

What will be the next step of the menswear model in the oval office? Is he coordinating with the EU to make sure that Russia can’t sell its products to anyone, say, the EU, which really has nowhere else to buy a great deal of the methane gas it uses every winter to keep the pipes from freezing? Of course our country has made promises that it will export liquefied natural gas to Europe from the depleting shale plays of Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas — but, wait a minute (or maybe five years) because we have to build new pipelines, gas export terminals, and a fleet of compressed gas tanker ships before that’ll work. But maybe Europe will have five exceptionally mild winters until then. Note to Mr. Obama: increase National Prayer Breakfasts to once-a-month.

Then there is the question of what Russia may offer to do to the USA in return. Perhaps nothing, because America is doing such a good job of imploding under its own fecklessness and inertia. If I were Mr. Putin — not saying I want to be, you understand, but in the spirit of conjecture — I would just kick back and tune in on the Web to watch this nation of overfed clowns and tattooed savages vomit over each other, since that is apparently now embroidered into the zeitgeist. Mr. Putin could also (in the spirit of the game of chess, which he is reputed to be good at) add some frisson to the situation by stealthily unloading quantities of Russian-held US Treasury paper, not to crash the market but just enough to turn the ten-year bond above the 3.00 percent line — a point at which the US government’s bankruptcy (that is, inability to service our debt) creeps above the horizon like a bad moon rising.

State Department chess players are gloating at the moment that the Russian ruble has lost ten percent of its value this year. No doubt a few functionaries in the Kremlin are going boo-hoo over this. But remember: they are a nation who lost about 8.6 million soldiers to overcome Hitler. Do you think a little austerity will persuade them to cede Ukraine to the Walt Disney Company? Has anyone in the pay of America’s Deep State asked themselves whether it really matters to us who runs Ukraine? Did it matter to us before and then after the Soviet regime collapsed? What was so terrible about Ukraine joining the Russian free trade zone that we felt compelled to go in and vomit all over it?

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holmes's picture

Hey I'd vomit on her for the right price. Come to think of it I just might do it for free.

Gene Parmesan's picture

I'll pay for the privilege.

SMG's picture

You know you make a good point, but I happen to be eating my lunch right now.  That didn't help.

BaBaBouy's picture

Please, May I Volonteer To Shit On Her In Her Next Gig ?????

knukles's picture

This is about as effective (vomiting on another person) as Obozo's sanction of a dozen Rooskies and the SEAL's taking over a NK tanker.
Vlad the Bad's gotta be shivering in his tightie whiteies.
Or maybe he's into iron thongs?

TruthInSunshine's picture

This reminds me that I need to compare Obama's

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
(Mum mum mum mah)
(Mum mum mum mah)

...with Vlad's.

I am more equal than others's picture



Spoiled, indulged and not so smart children are in charge. 

I think I saw this episode on the Pee Wee Herman Show.

I know, but what area you?

I know, but what area you?

I know, but what area you?


BLOTTO's picture

Fuck Lady Gaga...a soulless creature that turned to the dark side as a scum bag boot lick'r for the illuminati.


'They' know the power of music and the influence it can have on the weak...


Here is a picture of Lady Gaga and...the Queen Bee herself...hows that for power.


'Everywhere we go we see tiny white buds resting perfectly inside ears blocking out all sounds but pop music. Is this music uplifting or degrading?

 Lady Gaga repeats the word "Judas" 37 times in her blasphemous "I'm in love with Judas". Even the Queen is a Gaga fan apparently. Gaga has 70% as many Google results for her name as Jesus.'



skwid vacuous's picture

reminds me of what i feel like right after I try to short anything in this fkn "market",

chemystical's picture

"Fuck Lady Gaga...a soulless creature that turned to the dark side as a scum bag boot lick'r for the illuminati."

She attended the same school as ZioNSAZuckerberg and ZioNSASergeyBrin:  John's Hopkins Center for Talented Youth.

"Curiously", of the 11 alumni named by wiki, 6 are members of the tribe.  (maybe 7 as surely Gaga is an honary member). 

Also from Zioberg's wiki bio: "In 2011, Zuckerberg ranked first on the list of the "Most Influential Jews in the World" by The Jerusalem Post and has since consistently topped the list every year as of 2013."

Most influential?  Strange, I thought Satan wore that crown.

RafterManFMJ's picture

Thanks you've ruined that song for me... I'd always thought is was blah blah blah "poke her face" blah blah "poke her face"

cougar_w's picture

I wouldn't cross the street to tell her she's a fuck up.

Applies to about 2,100 additional celebs and star athletes (same bunch of posers).

My usual admonition applies: Kill your TV.

Overfed's picture

It's pretty fuckin' sad what will bring a person big $$ and adoration these days.

fonestar's picture



Disposable electronics.

Disposable relationships.

Disposable art.

Disposable kulture.

NidStyles's picture

For once I agree with you. 

Catflappo's picture

This story is sickening

tony bonn's picture

lady gaga is an illuminist satanic witch who probably worships obama and bush

pods's picture

Even money whether she's a witch or warlock.


A Lunatic's picture

If you ever wanted to know what Tom Petty would look like as a Tranny, there you go........

oddjob's picture

It's not about the bush, s/he's a mouth searching for cock.

Theta_Burn's picture

Not really

She is just a pop idle who had a few hits, but nothing fresh lately.

Did you know she was obsessed with a collaboration project with Lou Reed, (who turned her down, more than once) before his death?

It's a shame really, dispite the song writters, management, and marketing mega machine, she has a bit of talent. (**I'm no fan)

Nope..this is just another wardrobe malfunction, trying to jumpstart a stagnant career

maskone909's picture

You lost me at lady gaga

Motorhead's picture

I hear ya, man.  I read the article, but I almost vomited at the mention of that thing called Lady Gaga.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Subliminal programming, perhaps that was the whole point. Having said that, I tried to gather what the title or the article are about and came to conclusion that the world has jumped the shark, went full retard, basta, bingo, all is lost. Sodom and Gommorah if they ever existed went up in flames for exactly that kind of stuff. But then again, who needs to set things ablaze when we ourselves do such a good job at it. Also, I feel dirty just by posting in a topic like that~

1stepcloser's picture

Remind me ZHers, when I get reincarnated, not to pick this planet again..

glaucon was right's picture

The pop culture is in bear market.


They are always testing new lows...

I am Jobe's picture

Ask the so called sheeples and they will tell you that this is the norm. Pathetic isn't it. 

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Her next move:  "Gag(a) me with a spoon!"

Happy to oblige.

medium giraffe's picture

I think I'm reaching peak IDGAF.

q99x2's picture

There is no physiological reason why Transexuals cannot serve as brave men and women in the US Military.

alien-IQ's picture

I'm pretty sure that Mozart never had to resort to such stunts to prove he had talent.

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Her irrelevance is so relevant.

alien-IQ's picture

She makes Carrot Top seem profound and complex.

knukles's picture

Well, it is well documented that Morazt's health was rather poor, throughout his life, suffering from smallpox, tonsillitis, bronchitis, pneumonia, typhoid fever, rheumatism and gum disease.

Fucker was one right candidate for early signup to ObieDon'tCare, what?

StychoKiller's picture

No mas, Eine Kleine NachtMusik FTW!!

williambanzai7's picture

It matters to Zbigniew Brezinski, 'Pan' Zbigniew Brezinski...

Cangaroo.TNT's picture

This is what I like about ZH.  I had no clue of the Lady Gaga stunt until I read it here.  ZH contains just enough pop culture garbage to allow me to blend in with the retards.

Motorhead's picture

Hehehe...and, sometimes a break from the gold pumping from Jim Sinclair and King World News is refreshing.

hoist the bs flag's picture

.hey, it is something new to fap to. Up the Irons!

cougar_w's picture

Jim that was pretty right-on. We're a sick bunch of monkeys, as I like to say.

Oh hey I've got some new monkey business up last few days:

Might be a little too sweet for your taste these days. I promise the next one -- won't be.

Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Lady Gaga is a sensitive, classically trained musician who wrote her first symphony while still in her mother's womb. A lot of people really hate her, her music, and her fanatical and fragrant fans, but all this falls by the wayside when you consider that she eats shit and barks at the moon.

Motorhead's picture

Hiya, friends!...Designed with your mind, in mind.  (LOL)

StychoKiller's picture

How about that Masonite™ wild-west gunrack, with the look of real wood?