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Obama Issues Executive Order Freezing Assets Of Seven Putin Aides

Tyler Durden's picture


As was largely expected, the first retaliation by Obama has arrived, courtesy of a just issued Executive Order by the president, in which he has blocked and frozen "all property and interests in property that are in the United States, that hereafter come within the United States, or that are or hereafter come within the possession or control of any United States person" (i.e. assets) of not only the pre-coup Ukraine president Yanukovich and the Crimean leader Aksyonov, including all Russians that operate in the Russian arms industry, but most notably seven Putin aides. Not Putin himself of course - that would be too "escalatory"...

From the White House:

I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, hereby expand the scope of the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13660 of March 6, 2014, finding that the actions and policies of the Government of the Russian Federation with respect to Ukraine -- including the recent deployment of Russian Federation military forces in the Crimea region of Ukraine -- undermine democratic processes and institutions in Ukraine; threaten its peace, security, stability, sovereignty, and territorial integrity; and contribute to the misappropriation of its assets, and thereby constitute an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States. Accordingly, I hereby order:


Section 1. (a) All property and interests in property that are in the United States, that hereafter come within the United States, or that are or hereafter come within the possession or control of any United States person (including any foreign branch) of the following persons are blocked and may not be transferred, paid, exported, withdrawn, or otherwise dealt in...

The people impacted:

  • Vladislav Surkov

Vladislav Yuryevich Surkov (born 21 September 1964)[1] is a Russian businessman and politician. He was First Deputy of the Chief of the Russian Presidential Administration from 1999 to 2011, during which time he was widely seen as the main ideologist of the Kremlin. Allegedly he contributed greatly to the electoral victory of President Vladimir Putin in 2004. Surkov is seen as the main architect of the current Russian political system, often described as "sovereign" or "managed" democracy.

From December 2011 until 8 May 2013 he served as the Russian Federation's Deputy Prime Minister. While his resignation was described as voluntary, presidential spokesman Peskov linked the resignation with the government's failure to carry out decrees by President Putin., in the late 1980s he started as a businessman as the government lifted the ban against private businesses. He became a head of the advertisement department of Mikhail Khodorkovsky's businesses. During the 1990s he held key managerial positions in advertisement and PR departments of Khodorkovsky's Bank Menatep (1991 – April 1996) and Rosprom (March 1996 – February 1997) and Fridman's Alfa-Bank (since February 1997).

In September 2004 Surkov was elected president of the board of directors of the oil products transportation company Transnefteproduct, but was instructed by Russia's PM Mikhail Fradkov to give up the position in February 2006.

Sergey Yurievich Glazyev is a Russian politician and economist, Full Member of Russian Academy of Science since 2008. He was a minister in 1993, a member of the State Duma in 1993-2007, and ran for President of Russia in 2004. Glazyev was a co-founder of the Rodina party. Glazyev announced his retirement from politics in March 2007, and said that he did not intend to seek a further term in the Duma, arguing that Vladimir Putin's rule had crowded out all forms of political opposition and debate in the country.

In July 2012, Putin appointed Glazyev as presidential aide for the coordination of the work of federal agencies in developing the Customs Union of Belarus, Kazakhstan, and Russia. Glazyev has authored more than forty books and hundreds of pamphlets and research papers. One of his books has been published in English translation by the LaRouche movement's Executive Intelligence Review as Genocide: Russia and the New World Order (ISBN 0-943235-16-2). In 1995 he was awarded with the Gold Kondratieff Medal by the International N. D. Kondratieff Foundation and the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences (RAEN).

In August 2013 Glazyev claimed that stating that all Ukrainians favor Ukraine to integrate in the European Union "is some kind of sick self-delusion".[3] Because, according to him, "sociological surveys by Ukrainian sociological services say something different: 35% of people prefer the European Union and 40% the Customs Union". He blamed "numerous political scientists and experts, who have fed on European and American grants for 20 years, and a whole generation of diplomats and bureaucrats that has appeared after the years of the ‘orange’ hysteria, who are carrying out an anti-Russian agenda" and "who are too far from the economy and real life, don’t really know their country’s history and are divorced from its spiritual traditions" for creating "an effect that Ukraine doesn’t want".[3] Ukrainian opinion polls that polled support in Ukraine for European Union membership did indicate that at the time of Mr Glazyev's statements Ukrainians preferred joining the European Union rather than the Customs Union.

  • Leonid Slutsky

Leonid Eduardovich Slutskii is a member of the State Duma of Russia, a member of the LDPR party. Currently he is the Chairman of the State Duma Committee on the "Commonwealth of Independent States, Eurasian Integration and links with compatriots". Slutsky as been a First Deputy Chairman of the State Duma's Committee on International Affairs. He is dean of the international relations department at the Moscow State University of Economics, Information and Statistics. He has held senior banking positions and was an advisor to the mayor of Moscow. Slutsky also reported to a directorate of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the RSFSR. He holds an economics degree from the Moscow Economic-Statistical Institute

  • Andrei Klishas

Dr. Andrey A. Klishas served as Vice President and Chairman of the Board of Directors at Interros Company since June 2008. Dr. Klishas is a visiting Professor of Constitutional and Administrative Law Faculty and an Assistant Professor of Constitutional and Municipal Department (Legal Department) of Russian Peoples Friendship University. Dr. Klishas is an Assistant Professor of constitutional and municipal department of Moscow University for the Russian Ministry of Domestic Affairs. From June 1998 to October 2001, he was the Legal Matters Director and Deputy General Director of Interros Company. From October 2001, Dr. Klishas served as the General Director of Interros and from December 2001, he was the Chairman of the Management Board. From January 2004, Dr. Klishas was a Member of the Board of Directors of the firm. He held different posts at Russian Federal Property Fund from 1995 to 1997 and at UNEXIM Bank, where he was the Deputy Head of Legal Department from August 1997 to June 1998. On July 2007, Dr. Klishas was elected the President of Federation of Hunting Dog Breeding.

Currently, he is the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Polyus Gold since June 26, 2008 and Open Investments company and a Member of the Board of Agros Group and Polyus CJSC. Dr. Klishas serves as a General Director at KM Invest Private Joint Stock Company. He has been Director of MMC Norilsk Nickel since December 2008.

  • Valentina Matviyenko

Valentina Ivanovna Matviyenko is the highest-ranking female politician in Russia, the former governor of Saint Petersburg and the current Chairman of the Federation Council of the Russian Federation. Born in the Ukrainian SSR, Matviyenko started her political career in the 1980s in Saint Petersburg (then called Leningrad) and was the First Secretary of the Krasnogvardeysky District CPSU of the city from 1984 to 1986. In the 1990s she served as Russian ambassador to Malta (1991–1995) and Greece (1997–1998). Between 1998–2003 Matviyenko was Deputy Prime Minister of Russia for Welfare, and briefly the Presidential Envoy to the Northwestern Federal District in 2003. By that time she firmly allied herself with Russian President Vladimir Putin, an alliance which secured her a victory in the governor elections in Saint Petersburg, Putin's native city.

On 19 May 2007, the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation announced that on 16 May it had detained several members of an undisclosed youth religious group allegedly preparing an assassination attempt on Valentina Matviyenko’s life using hand grenades and plastic explosive. On 23 May FSB Director Nikolay Patrushev announced that the prevented attempt had been scheduled for June.

Controversial businessman Vitaly Arkhangelsky accused Matviyenko in corporate raiding and corruption. According to him Matvieyenko is the real owner of the bank "Saint Petersburg" that staged a corporate raid on the property of his company, OMG that included Vyborg Port and Western Terminal of Saint Petersburg port using falsified documents with forged signature of Arkhangelsy. The lawyers of bank "Saint Petersburg" insist on exclusion materials of Matviyenko's involvement from the criminal case in London court.

  • Dmitry Rogozin

Dmitryi Olegovich Rogozin  is a Russian Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of Russia, Deputy Prime Minister of Russia in charge of defense industry. In January 2008, he became Russia's ambassador to NATO, until December 2011. He was a leader of the Rodina (Motherland) party until it merged with other similar Russian parties to form the Fair Russia party.He speaks 4 languages and holds a doctor's degree.

On 18 February 2011 Russian President Dmitry Medvedev appointed Dmitry Rogozin as a Special Representative on anti-missile defence and negotiations with NATO countries on this issue. On 23 December 2011 Dmitry Rogozin was appointed deputy premier of Russian Government in charge of defense and space industry. As responsible for the defense industry he leads the creation of the Russian Foundation for Advanced Research Projects in the Defense Industry (Russian DARPA).

In 2008 he was appointed a Russian ambassador to NATO. As Russia's NATO envoy he was heavily opposed to Ukraine and Georgia becoming members of NATO. After the two countries were denied membership of the NATO Membership Action Plan he claimed that: "They will not invite these bankrupt scandalous regimes to join NATO...more so as important partnerships with Russia are at stake.". For such words he was criticized by some Ukrainian and Georgian officials. Former Ukraine's envoy to NATO Ihor Sahach said: "In my opinion, he is merely used as one of cogs in the informational war waged against Ukraine. Sooner or later, I think, it should be stopped". The envoy also expressed a surprise with Rogozin's slang words. "It was for the first time that I heard such a higher official as envoy using this, I don't even know how to describe it, whether it was a slang or language of criminal circles… I understand Russian, but, I'm sorry, I don't know what his words meant".The Foreign Minister of Ukraine Volodymyr Ohryzko stated that he did not regard the statement as serious.

  • Yelena Mizulina

Yelena Mizulina is a Russian politician serving as a member of the Russian Parliament between 1995 and 2003 and again since 2007. Since 2012, she has been the center of attention in regard to a set of controversial laws concerning the rights of the LGBT community in Russia and the adoption of Russian orphan children by foreigners. She is currently Chairman of the Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children Affairs. She has changed her political affiliation several times, having served public office on behalf of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, the liberal Yabloko and Union of Right Forces parties and is currently representing the region of Omsk in the Duma as a representative of the social democratic A Just Russia party.


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Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:53 | 4558136 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I guess Obummer really doesn't like the petro-dollar very much huh..

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4558170 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture


"hereby expand the scope of the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13660 of March 6, 2014,"


Strange days, stranger languaging....



Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:03 | 4558201 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's picture

Obama, you're such a little bitch.  Either fight like a man or go home.  Nobody likes watching a sissy fight.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4558254 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

I guess Congress just doesn't matter any more. Heil Obama!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4558278 1000 splendid suns
1000 splendid suns's picture

"I, Barry Soetoro, invasive species and empty suit do hearby claim ownership of the entire planet. If you don't like the red lines I draw, take it up with my handlers Valerie and Mr. Soros. If you have the time, we're looking for a fourth for our 2 o'clock tee time."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:29 | 4558360 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Actually, I find this to be an interesting move. Oligarchs going after oligarchs.

Of course it could be all for show. Does anyone even know if these guys have any assets in their own name in the US? I'm assuming they are smart enough to bury ownership underneath seven different levels of offshore trusts and holding companies, like any self-respecting oligarch would.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:39 | 4558632 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Russia counters: "We will no longer be buying prime and former US Postal properties exclusively brokered by Senator Feinstein's husband."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 14:55 | 4559911 silvermail
silvermail's picture

Obama should urgently release a music album "The Red LineS." I think it will be a great success!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:19 | 4558301 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Big ego on display...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:22 | 4558319 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Big ego on display...

....and little cock for sure.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:14 | 4558261 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Check out the last name on the list.  Obama never misses an opportunity to pander to some special interest group.  Tell me how THAT person had anything to do with the Crimean/Ukranian situation.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:23 | 4558320 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

In fairness to Obama, he is a fag, so he is simply looking out for his own kind.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:56 | 4558880 dirtscratcher
dirtscratcher's picture


Maybe nobody likes watching a sissy fight, but it might be funny to watch two sissies fight. I'll take odds on a Richard Simmons vs. Bath House Barry matchup. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:15 | 4558976 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Pussydent 0zer0 speaks... and the world yawns.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 13:22 | 4559372 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Wutta chicken sh*t that arrogant, narcissitic, pathological lying, illegal kenyan alien, muslim sociopathic incompetent is....  on top of that a chicken legged golfer with a Ho wookie...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4558233 fx
fx's picture

the scumbag in the white house should mind his own business. "looking sexy in jeans"? wtf? This wannabe politician isn't capable to figure out anything without asking either his wife or his teleprompter or his dog...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:11 | 4558243 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

There is a certain peace from admitting the truth to self as an American that I live under a king and oligarchy and not a representative government.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:13 | 4558257 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

I swear I heard a pin drop there tarsubil...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4558365 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Seeing the truth is the first step toward ending tyranny.


Thus dictators always try to control 'education', the media, face-to-face speech ('political correctness') , etc.


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4558376 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

America has been in a state of emergency since March 9, 1933 and most people don't know it -

"Since March 9, 1933, the United States has been in a state of declared national emergency. In fact, there are now in effect four presidentially-proclaimed states of national emergency: In addition to the national emergency declared by President Roosevelt in 1933, there are also  the national  emergency proclaimed  by President Truman  on December  16, 1950, during the Korean conflict, and the states of national emergency declared by President
Nixon on March 23, 1970, and August 15, 1971.

These  proclamations  give  force  to  470  provisions  of  Federal  law. These  hundreds  of statutes  delegate  to  the  President  extraordinary  powers, ordinarily  exercised  by  the Congress,  which  affect  the  lives  of American  citizens  in  a  host  of  all-encompassing manners. This vast range of powers, taken together, confer enough authority to rule the country without reference to normal Constitutional processes.

Under  the  powers  delegated  by  these  statutes,  the  President  may: seize property; organize and control the means of production; seize commodities; assign military  forces  abroad;  institute  martial  law;  seize  and  control  all  transportation  and communication;  regulate  the  operation  of  private  enterprise;  restrict  travel;  and, in  a plethora of particular ways, control the lives of all American citizens.

Want proof? - visit here: This essentially gives presidents the authority to act in an extra-constitutional manner. No wonder the occupants of the White House get away with murder.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 16:44 | 4560482 Questan1913
Questan1913's picture


Yes, that means the country is currently under martial law (read previous executive orders dating back to 9-11-2001), the few remaining shreds of the bill of rights are null and void and the executive branch has temporary dictatorial powers until the "emergency" it has declared is deemed over. Amazing what a simple stroke of the pen can set aside, no? Has anyone heard of any opposition to this? Does anyone care? Of course not.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:03 | 4558194 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

"Slutsky" - I hear he comes from a long line of Polish hookers

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:05 | 4558211 agent default
agent default's picture

Everyone in the list was fully aware of the events that were about to take place months ago.  If they have any assets left in the US these are probably token amounts to justify the next move by he Kremlin.  Obama is a class A moron.  There can no longer be any doubt about this.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:30 | 4558368 oldmanofthesee
oldmanofthesee's picture

I won't argue the moron label, but can he really be this stupid? Or, is this the "flexibility" that he promised to Vlad, after he was re-elected. Even with those idiots advising him on foreign policy and national security, he couldn't possibly be so far wrong on so many issues. He is deliberatly sending the US down the dumper.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:13 | 4558258 free_lunch
free_lunch's picture

But the markets don't seem to care....Bad news is good news!

Kremlin: If The US Tries To Hurt Russia's Economy, Russia Will Target The Dollar


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:54 | 4558140 john39
john39's picture

oh no, a whole seven aides?  anything but that...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4558165 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

for Obama's sake, I hope it amounts to more than a few Brighton Beach condos.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:10 | 4558241 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Moldova is next.  That´ll cost another 5 aides a wrist slap.  Putin must be laughing his ass off.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:28 | 4558344 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

I don't want insult.  But why would any country be interested in taking Moldova?  Besides Crimea was the easy part.  The tricky phase in Ukraine is just starting.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:25 | 4558690 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

mostly organ trafficking.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:01 | 4558905 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Crimea has Black Sea oil n gas which would be KRIMINAL to leave to the U-skulled n bones neanderthals; according to Putinistan logic. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 13:12 | 4559307 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Uh . . , how about the smokin' hot women!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:25 | 4558335 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

Bombs away!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 13:46 | 4559504 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

If Serge Glazyev wasn't motivated enough to go after the Petro-Dollar, he is now:

"Gas for Gold, Oil for Old, you Amerikanski bytchez!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:54 | 4558143 unrulian
unrulian's picture

This won't end well

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:04 | 4558203 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Next they'll ban the selling of Girl Scout cookies to 12 Russian nationals in the U.S.

This is serious stuff.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:23 | 4558269 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

"This won't end well."

The entire Crimera for 7 expendable aides maybe getting some of their cookies locked away in a cookie jar?  This has ended way better than well.  Obama, the EU,and Ukraine have been punked royally!   Lurch has been bitch-slapped yet again and will have nothing more to say to Putin other than "You rang?"!! 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4558147 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Any jewish names on that list? LOL~

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4558149 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

they are all christians

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4558395 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Didn't most of the Jewish oligarchs flee to Israel years ago?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:18 | 4558972 Johnny Moscow
Johnny Moscow's picture

Actually pretty much ALL the top 20 or so biggest Russian oligarchs are Jewish. Abromovich, Deripaska, Khodorkovsky (still in jail), Potanin, Veckselberg, etc. Prokhorov is also a tribesman technically by birth and even Alisher Usmanov (technically Russia's richest magnate) who's Muslim is married to a woman of the Jewish faith. Oh yeah and the heasd of the largest bank (gref) and biggest telecom companies are too...the list goes on and on. Somehow the mainstream media has overlooked that fact...go figure!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:23 | 4558674 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

That seems unlikely, not that any are Jewish, just that they are actually christians.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4558150 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

If any if these guys had more than .69¢ in any accounts in US, they are not very smart. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:07 | 4558225 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I imagine you are not a Putin inner-circle member if you keep money with American entities.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:07 | 4558227 agent default
agent default's picture

Depends on how you look at it.  They probably left enough in the US to justify a Kremlin response to the sanctions. The Russians are totally aware of the complete joke the US has become.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4558151 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

Can he really do that!  what an idiot. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:26 | 4558343 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture


Corzine still free..??

Just curious..

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:24 | 4558677 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

Corzine still free..??...


Which one?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:24 | 4558681 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Ask his son.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4558152 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Better to do nothing than to do something which shows you can do nothing.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4558153 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Oh noes! Their ebay accounts are frozen!
What about their Xbox Live accounts?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4558171 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

You ever have your eBay or PayPal accounts frozen ???  It's not good. I will never get out of line again after my last freezing. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4558182 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Seriously a neener neener response to a global destabilization sequence.

Beyond pathetic....the great game rolls on...


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:49 | 4558844 Perfecthedge
Perfecthedge's picture

Hahahaha...I already like you.

They must be shivering and in deep pain.  No Disneyland this year for their kids.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4558155 loonyleft
loonyleft's picture

7 persons assets frozen, not even taken yet,  for crimean territory, 21600 square km. OH NO!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4558156 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

So we are going to sieze their homes/penthouses and use them for homeless shelters?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:57 | 4558158 falak pema
falak pema's picture

thief! thief! thief ! ...the leader of the Just times...

While the real thiefs drink champagne on ice...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4558195 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

If the champagne is pink, it's the drink of the damned... ;-)


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:37 | 4558373 falak pema
falak pema's picture

damned indeed, four score damned, for being rose by another name.

Putin is Romeo to Crimea and Obammy is Juliet to Ukraine. 

We are in a shakespearean tragedy. What's in  a name ? 

Follow the money line and the name changes from straw men to Oligarch, somewhere in that Bermuda triangle of Caymanista land. 

** oups, thieves are a thief, when cloned in mulitiples...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:57 | 4558159 pods
pods's picture

Seems like a whole lot of power vested in 1 man. Surely just what the founders planned.


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:03 | 4558196 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I wonder what the Founding Fathers would have thought about having a Kenyan born Indonesian girl as president?  What would they think of her pissing all over the US Constitution while at the same time passing himself off as an expert of the Ukrainian Constitution.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4558235 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Next he's going to freeze the assets of all those rogue IRS agents in Cincinnati.

Whatta guy!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4558283 Savyindallas
Savyindallas's picture

Don't worry-he's just a puppet. I'm sure there are several really smart Bankster oligarchs on some kind of committee that carefully considered this decision before they told Obama what to do.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4558161 youngman
youngman's picture

Got to keep Flexible says Obama...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4558163 Dkizzle49855
Dkizzle49855's picture

Leonid Slutsky.  What a awesome name.  I wonder if he has any daughter.  Like Ima Slutsky.  

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4558231 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Ivanna.  Ivanna Slutsky.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4558458 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Or if his and Putin's kid got married it would be, Ivanna Putin-Slutsky.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:08 | 4558588 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

That's an all-day laugher!  +1

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:02 | 4558558 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture

Slutsky........................Reminds me of a Russion hooker



Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4558164 Guitarbill
Guitarbill's picture

Last week Putin pulls all their t-bills out of the US... He is many moves ahead of Obummer.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4558166 SandiaMan
SandiaMan's picture

No Hockey players or NBA Owners?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4558168 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Barack 'the Lone Ranger' Dipshitski strikes again........

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4558169 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

I'm sure they didn't take precautions weeks ago.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4558173 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Well done Odildo, bait the guy with the leverage, great move.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4558175 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Speak softly and carry a comfy pillow.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:04 | 4558208 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

In this case SR, the big stick gets the big stink and the pilloze are for the kneez...


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4558236 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

odisgusting...our first pillow princess president...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4558220 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

speak softly and suck a big dick

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4558221 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Speak softly and carry a big putter.


There, I fixed it for you.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4558346 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Not...THE COMFY CHAIR!!!!!1!!!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4558177 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I know that the US Fundraiser/Teleprompter in Chief is an expert on the Ukrainian Constitution, but shouldn't he seek approval from the US Congress before waging economic war on a sovereign nation and its leaders?  I'm just a stupid Canuck so what do I know?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4558239 agent default
agent default's picture

The US Constitution has been torn apart and flushed down the toilet since 1913. 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4558179 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Please take away that goddamn Executive Pen from Obozo and give him back his Etch-a-Sketch before the world is nuclear ash.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4558181 Manthong
Manthong's picture


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4558183 Racer
Racer's picture

Now the murderer by proxy and war monger adds more thievery to his CV

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4558185 ...out of space
...out of space's picture

so it on

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4558188 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

What a total dick!  Best to fall back on acting career as chat show stooge.  Frickin moron.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4558193 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:03 | 4558199 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Way to build bridges Zero... What a fucking tool.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:04 | 4558200 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

And as it continues on, somebody will stand up and answer "So THAAAAAT'S why we let all the Chinese triad money into Vancouver".

As they say in Japan, "GET!"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:04 | 4558205 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Will this matter if their assets are not in dollars or in countries that already trade outside of the dollar?

Go ahead piss of the BRIICs (that is a lot of natural resources that won't be availanble to your "markets")

Tick tock motherfuckers...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:14 | 4558260 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Read a while ago that foreign held US debt is $US denominated and US held foreign debt is other currency denominated. So if the dollar collapses so does all the US's debt and how sweet to blame it all on Putin LOL!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:05 | 4558209 kw2012
kw2012's picture

So the Russian billionaire oligarchs with $100 Million dollar Manhattan apartments are left alone?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:05 | 4558210 DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

Simply Pathetic. Leave the keys on the desk and just go home Obumma.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4558214 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

So If Putin pulled all the Tbills out..........where's the big crash everyone was talking about?  They actually had a very small share of the market from I seen.  A piece the digital zero machine can easily absorb.

"A National Emergency" LMAO.  Awe the poor wittle babies don't get to takeover and destroy another country in the global gobble conquest I feel so sorry for you!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:19 | 4558291 pods
pods's picture

The use of the term "emergency" has special force in law. 

Legal mumbo jumbo to circumvent constraints placed upon the executive.


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4558215 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Boy King is leading us to nuclear war. When will someone in the DOD take their oath to the constitution seriously and arrest this dictator?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4558234 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

That's the problem---everyone is bought off and the ones that aren't are too scared to put their own ass on the line.  In the end they'll wish they had of but that's a familiar story that I don't need to tell.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4558219 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Like closing all the Parks during the .gov shut down. obligatory, ceremonial....who gives a fuck.

Will the UK do the same? how about Germany, and the rest of the pEyoU?

American coat-tails aint what they used to be...



Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:13 | 4558256 Sleepless Knight
Sleepless Knight's picture

There are no more American coat-tails, just leather ass-less chaps with easy access.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:07 | 4558228 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

And with a stroke of his "special" pen, Barack proves to the world that he is no more than a tiny insignificant mole on one of Michelle's "lips".

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4558230 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Man he must be getting paid a lot of money to take that kind of riskt. The Russians are likely to take that personal. I would have walked away if somebody told me to do something like that. Where can someone hide with today's tech.

This is definitely not good.

Today's 4.7 earthquake in LA was a bad omen.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:11 | 4558244 nah
nah's picture

All hail the Crimean Ruble bitchez

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:11 | 4558245 Silversinner
Silversinner's picture

Bitchslap from O wow.


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:11 | 4558246 aleph0
aleph0's picture


I thought those Russians had moved $100B last week already.

Has Obama frozen only the leftovers ? ... or what ?


Does Russia  now have a good excuse for freezing Western Assets in Russia ... I wonder ?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:11 | 4558249 The Spanish Amb...
The Spanish Ambassador's picture

We seriously lack leadership in this country. What a Statesman.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:29 | 4558362 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

Community organizer. It´s communicty organizer. Not statesman.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4558251 youngman
youngman's picture

There goes all the caviar for the GS Hanekah party

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4558252 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Can anyone help me find where in the Constitution the Executive is given the power to do this? 

Because if this is the sort of party where the rule of law doesn't matter anymore, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.


Presumably there will be no executive actions against those who incited the Kiev mobs to overthrow the government, or the oligarchs who are plotting to financially fist fuck the Ukrainian people, right? 

What a fucking absurd puppet clown we have as Emperor.  And the frightening thing is Hillary is going to make him look like Calvin Coolidge.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:24 | 4558327 Bytor325
Bytor325's picture

Can anyone help me find where in the Constitution the Executive is given the power to do this?


Its between the right to an abortion amendment and the separation of church and state clause.  You just gotta know where to look ;)

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:30 | 4558371 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture

What Constitution?

George Bush said he had torn it up!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4558393 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Might as well go ahead and do it, JCB.  Obama's already fucked the chicken.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 15:35 | 4560142 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

"Because if this is the sort of party where the rule of law doesn't matter anymore, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes."

LOL'd.  Thanks for the smile as it's been a rough Monday.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4558255 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

I bet McCain authored this EO too!  him and the bummer are buddies

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:43 | 4558446 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture


Now, there's a sterling character reference..!

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4558267 TomGa
TomGa's picture

Once again, another one of Opussy's red lines crossed and no consequences of any significance ensue.  Does any foreign power take Obummer seriously?


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:15 | 4558268 deepsouthdoug
deepsouthdoug's picture

That will show those commie, pinkos we mean business! ;-) snark

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:24 | 4558330 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture

This is the sort of thing a would do.


It appears the ex commie country is more free than the ex free country that is turning commie by the second

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:16 | 4558274 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:28 | 4558356 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture


That " Take that" would be a kiss to Putin's bottom

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4558276 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

He should fly directly to Moscow, address the Kremlin in the harshest of words, pound his shoe on the podium and scream 'we will bury you'.



Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:49 | 4558840 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

Will you be here all week?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 12:25 | 4559036 SDShack
SDShack's picture

You mean pound the podium with his High Heeled Pump? Fixed it for you.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4558282 smacker
smacker's picture

And you can bet that Western MSM will peddle this dictatorial act by a President POS as "a measured response" after Russia's strong provocations.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:20 | 4558302 vyeung
vyeung's picture

lovely picture of the USD Index right now.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4558310 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"And just like that" we are at war with Russia.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4558311 Bytor325
Bytor325's picture

In a related story, Obama announced this morning that if the incredible sanctions on the "magnificent seven" fail to yield the expected result, he has the authority to place Mr. Putin on 'Double Secret Probation' and has ordered S.o.S. Kerry to remind Mr Putin that ".....this may end up on his permanent record"

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:38 | 4558424 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"Kenyan, stoned, and gay is no way to go through life, son."

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:23 | 4558323 libertysghost
libertysghost's picture

FINALLY!!!!!  I wondered what DingleBarry was going to do to show Putin who was the boss around this planet...I worried DingleBarry would "leave us all hanging" forever...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:24 | 4558324 d_taco
d_taco's picture

Complete in line with expectations. Crimea was just foreplay. Now Ukraine lost its bargain chip for cheap gas, Dutch Euro MP proclaimed at Dutch tv, Ukrain will never join the EU (Yes the same guy who talk on maidan), the US want to help the Ukraine with 1 Billion but does not want to pay and the EU can not pay, Putin just have to watch how an other neocon game is unfolding into chaos again!.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:43 | 4558449 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Chaos is the goal of all the neocon games.  This is a point most people miss.  Our Empire isn't based on occupying territory and running things, like the British or previous Empires.  Our Empire is based on recruiting the most corrupt and vicious locals to enslave their populations and give us the choicest pickings, keeping enough for themselves to live opulently.  They remain obedient to us because they know the instant we withdraw our armed muscle, their people will tear them limb from limb immediately.  This works for us and for the local tyrants until the local tyrants get too greedy (Noriega), start to believe their own bullshit (Saddam Hussein), or become so hated they can't hang on any longer no matter how savagely the beat down their people (Shah Reza Pahlavi).

A failed state, to the neocons, is one where the best-armed can do whatever they want, but nobody else can do anything constructive.  When a string of failed states surrounds Russia and China, and sit atop strategic resources and trans-shipment routes, or anyplace China has made significant investments in infrastructure, that's success in the neocons' zero-sum Grand Chessboard game.  What we see now is the same thing we've been seeing for 50 years; unbroken control of US foreign policy by Kissinger and Brzezinski.  It's evil, but it's not failure at all.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4558329 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

This is why you don't put money in the US for safety, and more evidence Martin Armstrong is freaking clown. 

And why are we sanctioning people who are anti-gay with sanctions over Ukraine?  These two things are only connected in the minds of rabidly homosexual gay supremacist lunatics.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:25 | 4558336 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture


This man says he is POTUS?

He is IMPOTUS , if you ask me.

Threatens sanctions against Russia and imposes sanctions on Russian Individuals.

Americans should start wearing skirts.- no not Scottish kilts- they are worn by brave men.


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:46 | 4558828 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

We all must think and walk into the realm of the hypothetical what if a woman was President?  Let's take the absurd notion that Sarah Palin became President.  Her knowledge of Russia by being to observe the nation from Alaska would a added wonderful insight into this topic.  The relations would be better also because Vlad and Grizzly Mom woulda went hunting together.  Or how about Ms Condi Rice if she was President or at least at her old jobs of Secretary of State or National Security Adviser.  She speaks fluent Russian (giving new meaning to the drink black Russian). She is a scholar in the Soviet Union.  These two ladies woulda done a much better job than this fucking idiot that is gonna run this country into the ground.  (This is coming from a guy that hates Republicans and Democrats.) I did not think in my wildest dreams that any president could make as many blunders and have a worse standing in the world than Dubya.  This is so Nobel Laureately of you (is that even a word?).

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:28 | 4558355 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

hey no mention of the dude who said that Russia could turn us into radioactive dust?  WTF, Barrack!!



Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:38 | 4558423 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

No.  It was more important to go after someone related to gay rights infringement.  Yes.  WW3 is currently being waged around sodomy laws.  Obama will end up sending people to die in Ukraine over the legality of same sex assplay.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:29 | 4558359 jomama
jomama's picture

what the puppetmasters want, the puppetmasters get.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4558379 agstacks
agstacks's picture

Not to worry, the money is safe. Obama opened a MyRa account for them.  They are free to withdrawl from it at any time, (once the national emegerency is declared over).  

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4558382 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

If Russia's goal is to upend the status quo, why would threatening the Russian oligarchy's continued participation in the global financial status quo be effective? At the point where some power(s) is really ready to take on Western corporate/financial/bureaucratic order, I figure it's too late to deny them access to the clubhouse.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4558390 itchy166
itchy166's picture

Seven new Russians who now use Bitcoin... 

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4558394 youngman
youngman's picture

Next thing he will do is launch a test torpedo at their navel base just like the Briish Navy did....that will show them we mean business when we destroy a dumpster

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:34 | 4558397 no1wonder
no1wonder's picture

This is why Yelena Mizulina is on Obama's Russia black list:

Since 2012, she has been the center of attention in regard to a set of controversial laws concerning the rights of the LGBT community in Russia and the adoption of Russian orphan children by foreigners. She is currently Chairman of the Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children Affairs.

I wouldn't have imagined Obama can be so openly faggot.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:38 | 4558770 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

What the hell does this have to do with Ukraine? She's on the list because she opposes homosexualization of minors?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:35 | 4558404 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Where is the rule of law in this?  You can't just seize the assets of individuals without some kind of legal proceeding.  What were these people convicted of?--Or even indicted for?  This is complete nonsense.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:42 | 4558441 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture


The Laws on just what this is for!


Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:57 | 4558534 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Bizarre, isn't it? A nation that was the most free plunges to the most repressed.
As someone once said, what ZOG wants, ZOG gets.
(Zionist Occupied Government)

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:28 | 4558710 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

The first rule of ZOG is...

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 11:19 | 4558649 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

Has obozo demonstrated any understanding of the rule of law or the Constitution?  wasn't this idiot a lawyer or something?

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 15:26 | 4560088 silvermail
silvermail's picture

 This is not a "complete nonsense".  This is so-called Military-Police democracy.

Yanukovych invited opposition for talks. He is a dictator and a tyrant.
Yatseniuk sent against the people army tanks. He is a Democrat and a liberal.
How to call it? Military-police US-democracy.

Mon, 03/17/2014 - 10:36 | 4558413 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

If any well-connected Russian had any significant money in any bank reachable by the EU/US after Cyprus, they're so stupid they deserve to lose it. 

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