President Obama Explains To Russian Stocks Why They Should Be Down - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture

With global equity markets exuberant (from US to Europe to Russia) at the prospect of US sanctions against Russia, we look forward to hearing from Comrade President Obama on why this is a punishment and why it's a bad thing for Russia (and where the next red line is)...


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VD's picture


ACP's picture

How the hell did he start on time?

remain calm's picture

The Russian know that Obama is an idiot. They know the average Russian 5th grader would kick his ass in a chess match. They are purely entertained by this embicile. Problem is the average American is 2 times as stupid as our President. We are fucked as a nation.

HarryWanqer's picture

I just felt this thrill go up my leg and into my pubic area.

Cygnus Nigri's picture

Thats IMBECILE you imbecile....

Renewable Life's picture

That masterpiece line from Vlad about playing chess with Obama is like playing with a pigeon, just never gets old!!

I'm already looking forward to watching the MSM try to keep Obama a rock star politician after he's gone and Vlad will be ELECTED for another 6 years after this Crimea maneuver!!!

There's gonna be some billion dollar front foundation with his fucking name on it, ahhhhhhh fuck, it's just never gonna end is it?

ShrNfr's picture

Especially when it is snowing in DC and he would not have had to make a t-time.

VD's picture

next he'll be EARLY to make up for being late to the (Ukrainian) party (on the ground)...

Relentless101's picture

Wanted to get back to his brackets?

kashey's picture

I think you should have a referendum on willingly joining Russia. :)

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

He be da best, eva:  He's just doing his libertarian best to bring on the Big Reset ASAP.

medium giraffe's picture

It's the Muppet Show.

astoriajoe's picture

which makes most ZH'ers the two grumpy guys in the box seats.

Seasmoke's picture

Obama has actually got most of the country against him vs. Putin. ......perhaps this was the plan all along and he really is a genius 

SilverIsKing's picture

Obama's approval ratings have fallen below 40%.  I'm surprised there are actually that many who approve.

Putin's approval ratings in the US are probably higher than 40%.

tony wilson's picture



Obama's approval ratings have fallen below 40%.


monsanto gm corn syrup

Water fluoridation

Chemtrails - Barium, Aluminum,



one helluva a drug mix nowonder the zombies still think he is cool.


A Nanny Moose's picture

The former United States of Amerika watches Honey Boo Boo. Nuff said.

mrvco's picture

Apparently the diehard Obamabots and Neocons constitute ~40% of the US poll taking population.

Obama is going to start a war with Russia to prove to the Euros how smart he is, brilliant!

Dr. Engali's picture

Yes! Another live feed by comrade Zero!  I'll try not to faint this time.

agstacks's picture

...let's be clear..

tickhound's picture

... I don't take questions..

disabledvet's picture

And "these are my orders and I intend on carrying them out."

Confused's picture

Broad framework, consensus, and other words I say all the time while reading from a teleprompter. 

drooley's picture

Sanctions! Red lines! Tell Putin you'll unfriend him on Facebook!  You show 'em Obama!

krispkritter's picture

Look out!  He's got his serious teleprompter face on! And he's sending Biden to Europe!  Send in the clowns!  Guess we don't have to wait until Friday for the humor posts now.

mccvilb's picture

Stuporbowl 2014, 4th Q, 95 to 7. Time to send Joe Biden in.

agstacks's picture

"..Pulling the troops in Crimea back to their bases"


The one in Crimea?

Renewable Life's picture

I love that line too!

Do you get the feeling, it's the WH 4th stringers in the game at this point???

Someone tell them, Crimea is now part of Russia, before they start writing!

Larry Summers and the Boyz "saved the system" and then looted everything they could in the first term and now its time to go back out there and find the next sucker to elect, so they can repeat!

Christ, Obama probably can't find an under 25 handycap to play with among that greenhorn crew of staffers!!

mccvilb's picture

The O-man better watch it. Joe thinks the television show House of Cards is about him.

LawsofPhysics's picture

One quick look at what those stocks are priced in tells you everything you need to know...

hedge accordingly...

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

RMB?  Hope the Chinese are buying.  Thus saying "Fut You!"

gbresnahan's picture

At least he isn't pushing Obamacare in this telecast, but it's still early.

TrustbutVerify's picture

Interesting.  This live feed arrives before my cable TV feed of the speech.  An axample of frontrunning and unfair trading opportunity? You decide. 

Kaiser Sousa's picture

so let me see if i got this shit straight...

russia tells the US and its puppet negro in "they" white house to shut the fuck up and fuck off...

this is SUPPOSED to b bad for the Fraud Markets and OF COURSE GOOD FOR THE ONLY 2 FORMS OF REAL MONEY...

but in fact, the Fraud Markets shoot to the moon, and lo and behold....


did i nail it????????????



Byte Me's picture

Sounds about par for the outward 9.

free_lunch's picture

Paper gold creates the illusion that there is more gold then there actually is. It also creates the illusion that fiat money has +45 times the purchasing power it actually has.. At least that's what goldseek claims in this article:

There is also a hypothetical article about the bankrupting and nationalisation of miners.

The more I read, the darker my worldview becomes, intellect and curiousity are a heavy load to carry these days..

Kaiser Sousa's picture

"The more I read, the darker my worldview becomes, intellect and curiousity are a heavy load to carry these days.."

exactly...once uve taken the red pill u r free but its still like a splinter in ur brain cause "knowing" amongst a mostly braind dead populace can drive u mad if ur not careful.....

q99x2's picture

I'd rather have a toothache than watch that fool.

agent default's picture

Try turning off the sound.  Best puppet show EVAR.

Postal's picture

I have a toothache. It dulls the pain.

agent default's picture

And if the Russians pull a few thousand T80s and T90s out of their warehouses and invade Poland, we will confiscate all babushka dolls in the US.

Boomberg's picture

Anybody touches my babushka dolls and it's dasvidanya baby. 

Husk-Erzulie's picture

Ah ha ha Molon Labe Bitchez!

djsmps's picture

I missed it. Did he mention costs?

kito's picture

all we need now is a reagan to come in and triple the national debt again to save us from the evil russians.....

and then we can have a volcker come in and raise interest rates to 21% to save us from this economic malaise......




More_sellers_than_buyers's picture

Well it worked once dumb ass.  That is once more tha socialism ever did.