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Fact Or Fiction: US Freezes Putin's Netflix Account
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In what was described as a major ramping up of sanctions, Secretary of State John Kerry announced on Tuesday that the United States had frozen Russian President Vladimir Putin’s Netflix account, effective immediately.
“Unless and until Mr. Putin calls off the annexation of Crimea, no more ‘House of Cards’ or ‘Orange Is the New Black’ for him,” Mr. Kerry said. “The United States will not stand by and reward the annexation of another sovereign nation with a policy of streaming as usual.”
While all of the sanctions Mr. Kerry announced on Tuesday were Netflix-related, he warned Mr. Putin that “nothing is off the table.”
“I’m sure I don’t need to remind the Russian President that ‘Game of Thrones’ is about to come back for another season,” he said. “As I have said, this thing could get very ugly, very fast.”
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Get out of here!
This is so outlandish I am inclined to believe it.
Ya I bet there is ONLY one Vlad Putin signed up to a fucking online streaming service from the US??
What's really tradgic is, I'll bet some motherfuckin clown in the State Dept, thinks he's big shit tonight having pulled this off! This is how badly fucking clowned this WH and US Government is getting at this point!!!
The headline read in Russia yesterday "Russia is laughing at the WH" literally laughing out loud, is there any wonder why, if this shit is true???
Guys, I'm not sure how to break this to you but.... this is a joke. And Santa Claus isn't real, either, in case you were wondering.
Hitler's Facebook Account Is Deletedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ntq3hd-WQc
Fuck me.... this shit's gettin' scary!
onion?
please?
Streaming AND the DVDs by mail ?!
Holy Mary Mother of God...how low can you go?1
Netflix is for suckers. Vlad uses torrents.
Vlad already has his "Tit-for-Tat" revenge planned; namely, cutting off all streaming Russian midget porn to DC.
It's going to get fugly I suspect if this continues.
Oh com'on, Vlad's only loaded up to Episode-3, lots for him to learn and follow !!!
Turn it back on please. "No spoil".
Speaking of Game of Thrones;
Obama's favorite jam:
South Park Game of Thrones Wiener Song (A Capella Full)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgBcC3Kl9L4
Yes, but you know the funny thing is...the "left" is mocking and ridiculing their own team. The "left" is also trying to play it down as no big deal, stressing how much more important Obama's health scheme is.
The commentary coming from the "right's" team in re Ukraine is pretty absurd as well. I'm reading some of it and the peanut gallery doesn't know what to say. They bash the crap out of loser McCain and his gas station remark; then jump right back on the rah rah team amerika shit dreaming of the "good old days" hoping for a Reagan "the bombing begins in 5 minutes" remark.
Who cares about Santa Clause? I want that cute little helper of his at the mall.
Rudolph?!
Hey, what you do with the farm animals is your business. I just want the tall blond (human girl) in the elf outfit.
Sounds like we're both happy then, me with a farm animal, you with a minor. Merry Christmas!
No MOAR House of Cards? Awww... ;-)
Speaking of House of Cards... According to the Montreux Convention, a non-Black Sea state’s naval ship is permitted to stay in the Black Sea for 21 days max. Our USS Truxtun entered the Black Sea on March 7, so our boys should be crossing the Dardanelles on the way out in 9 days (it is already the 19th in their heck of the woods). Just another piece of a Kerry-Nooland useless trivia ;-)
Looney
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreux_Convention_Regarding_the_Regime_of...
Don't upset the liberals. It's not the "Black Sea". It's the "African American Sea".
Raciss Bastard!!!
after reading your comment, I am afraid I can no longer take zerohedge even remotely serious. Damn you!
Putin: "That's okay. I use torrents."
Obama: "That's okay. I use Tourette syndrome " ;-)
Looney
The answer from moscow was to cancel J. Kerry "Russian brides" account, oooops, sorry for the 15 plastic surgeries you did on yer face trying to look younger for your Anastasia Ducherova...
worse still, they will suspend is russian porn account
I saw Russian porn once.
Wow. It is no wonder why they drink. It was like watching farm girls behind the silo.
I dare ya to think pure thoughts with this here...
She looks Latvian.
I know it's hard to believe, but isn't this consistent with Obama's presidency... this is his idea of teaching Putin a lesson. I believe Obama et al is employing all their resources (at taxpayer expense) to hack Putin's x-box account in order to keep him from honing his Call of Duty skills.
Excuse me, but what happens when Putin tells Kaspersky to freeze U.S. accounts????
Damn. This is getting serious. ;-)
This is really serious now. Even during Cold War they never blocked Netflix.
They didn't block Netflix during the Foyst World War either. I think I just peed my pants laughin'... and the keyboard... ;-)
Looney
..."Damn. This is getting SERIOUS"
Coggie (+2014!!!), I ain't no spell-nazi, but it is spelled "SYRIA'S"... I think? ;-)
Looney
Hopefully they don't mess with his next Herbalife shipment?
It's ok, he finished watching the Obama deception before it was put on ice.
+100 for the Alex Jones reference.....
"Folks the answer to 1984 is $1995...PLEASE buy my DVD, and help us fight the New World Odor" - lulz
Shit just got REAL!!
Now that would be funny!
To quote the band Elbow, 'the leaders of the free world are just little boys throwing stones'
Free world fits in the song, but most in here know it's a myth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlHGGKgzgzI
They have a record of Putin's gay porn site visits, this is probably a joke with a jag...Game of Thrones=BigSlippyBones.com
stupid
LOL
Do you think Obama wishes he could be more like Frank Underwood? Maybe Kevin Spacey can do POTUS consultations?
Putin is NOT on NetFlix. He is glued to CNBC all day getting stock tips and expert economic commentary! Somebody needs to check their sources...
Eees beeg fan of jeem cramer's "Mad Munny!" :>D
In response, Putin has blocked all American IPs from accessing child porn websites hosted in Russia. Upon hearing the news, John Kerry was furious(ly masturbating).
website hosting error (of course!)....
Reality: US based
Wish Kerry's dad would have stuck to maturbating
Wish Kerry's Mom would have just swallowed him :)
Furiously masterbating with his own tears for lubrication...
Jesus this place gets weird at night.
You got that right.
Lordy, wierdo city.
There goes Russia's GDP
Check the source... I think its meant to be a joke...
"He is glued to CNBC all day "
He's such a boss that he arranges to have Maria kidnapped. "Those lips. I would like them on my penis."
lol spungo, +1
Putin emailed Todd Thompson to find out how they work and if she swallows
Horses for courses
i feel one of those recaptioned hitler youtube vids coming on
If Putin blocks access to Russian (and Ukrainian) bride websites it's time to go nuclear.
Nah, Putin takes a cut of this. Those will be the last to go.
Almost all of those sites are operated by Russian mafia gangs. Kiss your money bye-bye.
Meh. I would sleep with one eye open, if the bride actually shows up.
LOL. I didn't meet mine on one of those sites as the whole thing happened by accident. It doesn't take Putin to block access to Russian vaginas. Russian women are pretty good at doing that on their own. You need a game plan if you want to get in there and then you have to fill out forms in triplicate explaining what your intentions are before anything happens. I get lost in the paperwork.
is this for real ?
Lol. Just don't dare fuck with their twitter accounts.
If I were Putin, this would not stand, man. I'd piss on Obama's rug.
But that rug really ties the oval office together...
Putin says: Haha! Roku, bitch.
Vlad -- I give not much fuck for "Card House" or "Black is Orange", but if cocksucker Barry cut off "Lilyhammer" I think it is WAR!
Kerry uses Swedish de-escalation techniques: http://www.theonion.com/articles/john-kerry-poses-as-masseuse-to-get-few...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/crimean-voters-excited-to-exercise-demo...
Putin doesn't watch TV, he plays RISK. He's good at it too!
I guess this means that Russia will turn into a bit torrent paradise.
Wow, the Obomba admin sure showed him.
probably a lucky thing for Putin, now he can get a new account and watch his favorite movies from the beginning without having to manually scroll around or worse skip to the next episode.
Putin response: Hey buddy, cans I borrows your NFLX account that you've already shared with all your friends?
Laugh it up. Until you are drafted. Then the laugh will be on you.
auch
Actually, I would LOVE to see them try the draft. I friggin' dare them.
That will get the riots they fear most, and mayhem for upper crusties who will be exempted.
You Freeze my Library Card - Next winter I Freeze the EU .
I can't get Game of Thrones on my Netflix Wi Fi box so Putin isn't losing quite that much... But I am watching season 4 of the Tudors and it's pretty good so I would definately try to use the Johnathan Rhys Meyers card as leverage against Russia.
that's war crime ...
ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Fuck!!! he just started season 2 of Sons of Anarchy! Motherfuckers! Aw, fuck it. He'll just sign up for Amazon prime, they have more shit anyway.
We need some ZeroHedge cuts.
Putin & the Russians just released a statement:
"Ketchup Boy/Frankenstein & Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack "Fake Birth Certificate" Obomber - Ever heard of a VPN? I still get Nyetflix!"
Bullshit! Putin has always watched NyetFlix.
Putin: "We just hacked the Pornhub and have all customer names and their home addresses"
This time they've really crossed the Red line: I thought they'd only let him watch Red Dawn, Hunt for Red October, or other anti-Russian flicks.
Can he still get "The Americans"?
Don't forget "Stalingrad"
LMAO!!! The Tylers had a pretty good day. Belgium holding UST at #3 made me laugh, but this one is awesome. Every movie I go to look for isn't there on Netflix. I did find the movie "Blue Summer" and tried watching it. That was a mistake on my part. Then you have these fucking blu-ray players that may or may not work. You end up crawling and digging around behind the TV looking for the plug so you can cycle the damned thing. Then you finally get the thing running and take a look at what they offer. I don't want to watch this crap. I am not sure what I am paying for.
Netflix is shit anyway , I am sure he won't lose too much sleep. Besides , Russia is full of DVD pirates ,. I am sure he could get hold of these films well before their official release date .