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Putin Formally Annexes Crimea, City Of Sevastopol To Russian Federation

Tyler Durden's picture


And there it is:


And the inevitable conclusion:


The Kremlin's official statement, google translated:

Treaty between the Russian Federation and the Republic of Crimea on the adoption of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Crimea and the formation of the Russian Federation signed new subjects March 18, 2014 in the Kremlin.


The document bears the signature of the President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin , President of the State Council of the Republic of Crimea Vladimir Konstantinov , Chairman of the Council of Ministers of Crimea Sergey Aksenov and chairman of the Coordinating Council on the organization of the Sevastopol city administration for Life Sevastopol Alexey Chaly .




Contract based on the freely expressed will of the peoples and voluntary obschekrymskom Crimea on a referendum held in the Autonomous Republic of Crimea and Sevastopol city March 16, 2014 , during which the people of Crimea decided to reunite with Russia.


Republic of Crimea is considered to be adopted in the Russian Federation from the date of signing the Agreement . Since the adoption of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Crimea, the Russian Federation formed new entities - Republic of Crimea and the federal city of Sevastopol.


The text of the Agreement includes a preamble and ten articles which set out provisions relating to the adoption of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Crimea and education in the Russian Federation new subjects , including provisions for the new territories of the Russian Federation , the citizenship of the population , public authorities of the subjects of the Russian Federation.


Under the Treaty, since the adoption of the Russian Federation and the Republic of Crimea education in the Russian Federation and new subjects to January 1, 2015 the transitional period during which resolved the issues of integration of new subjects of the Russian Federation in the economic, financial , credit and legal system of the Russian Federation , in the system of state authorities of the Russian Federation , as well as issues of military duty and military service in the territories of the Republic of Crimea and Sevastopol city of federal significance.


Legislative and other normative legal acts of the Russian Federation within the Republic of Crimea and Sevastopol city of federal importance of the adoption of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Crimea and education in the Russian Federation new subjects , unless otherwise provided by the legislation of the Russian Federation.


Normative legal acts of the Autonomous Republic of Crimea and the city of Sevastopol , Republic of Crimea and the city with special status of Sevastopol operate in the territories respectively of the Republic of Crimea and Sevastopol city of federal significance until the end of the transition period or until the adoption of the relevant normative legal act of the Russian Federation and (or) the normative legal acts of the Republic Crimea, a normative legal act of the Russian Federation and (or) a normative legal act federal city of Sevastopol.


Normative legal acts of the Autonomous Republic of Crimea and the city of Sevastopol , Republic of Crimea and the city with special status of Sevastopol, contrary to the Constitution of the Russian Federation shall not apply.


Treaty shall be ratified in accordance with Article 15 of the Federal Law "On International Treaties of the Russian Federation" and in accordance with Article 10 of the Treaty.

And the English version, notably shorter:

Vladimir Putin signed Executive Order On Executing the Agreement between the Russian Federation and the Republic of Crimea on the Admission of the Republic of Crimea into the Russian Federation and the Creation of New Constituent Entities within the Russian Federation.


The document reads:


1. To approve the draft Agreement between the Russian Federation and the Republic of Crimea on the Admission of the Republic of Crimea into the Russian Federation and the Creation of New Constituent Entities within the Russian Federation.


2. To consider it expedient to sign the Agreement envisaged hereunder at the highest level.

And futures, stocks, and risk in general is soaring, sending the Kremlin precisely the message it needs to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Perhaps if Russia had annexed all of Ukraine, or the Baltics, or maybe even Poland, the S&P would have soared over 2000 already?


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Tue, 03/18/2014 - 07:57 | 4562333 Ol Man
Ol Man's picture

Awesome sauce!!!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:01 | 4562340 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Moving right along....our congress should start taking notes.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:03 | 4562355 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Watching history unfold before our eyes....

After listening to Putin, I feel ashamed to be led by a man of such poor quality as Obama.  Whatever you may think of Putin, he is clearly a superior statesman to the bisexual mulatto.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:07 | 4562369 iLiquid
iLiquid's picture

Feel ashamed to be LED.  Period.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:11 | 4562382 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Glad to see someone is going to be leading the impeachment campaign.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:14 | 4562398 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

I don't think the markets are affected by anything other than the continued promise of counterfeit QE from the Fed.  Shut that spigot off... then watch out.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:26 | 4562445 taraxias
taraxias's picture

That's it, you nailed it.

I know the Tylers keeping harping the "this shouldn't be happening" tune day after day but as long as money out of thin air still keeps appearing, it will continue and the only direction is up.

Trade what you see happening, not what you think should be happening. I learned the hard way.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:27 | 4562453 fx
fx's picture

Tyler, Russia couldn't care less for the baltic states. They are NATO-members (in clear breach of all the promises given to Russia in 1990 not to expand NATO eastwards). You start to sound like all the neo-con shills who keep fearmongering 24/7 about the Ivan coming after everybody in Europe now. What an utter crap...

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:29 | 4562459 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Right on!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:04 | 4562822 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I think it’s time for the mulatto former messianic reincarnation of JFK (or was that Ben Hogan?) to show some of that post re-election “flexibility” he promised to the Russians in 2012.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:13 | 4562855 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

In the words of Mark Antony, Putin is an honorable man.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:17 | 4562874 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

outright annexation of a territory?


the people of the republic of west florida


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 11:49 | 4563408 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

BULLISH!  Buy, buy, bye!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:05 | 4562827 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

Tyler, Russia couldn't care less for the baltic states.

You need to go to 'sense of humor training'. It was a joke, dumbass.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 11:34 | 4563282 fx
fx's picture

 I got the joke with the sp500 at 2k, thank you very much. That other part isn't humor, it's just outright crap. Tyler keeps harping at the theme of the "helpless", if not clown-like west versus mighty Russia. That's exactly what the elites in the West want you to believe. because in reality, the West has the upper hand right now and even though they picture Russia as "aggressive", Putin's actions are just defensive ones. Taking Crimea may secure the naval base for Russia, but at the same time it means that the West gets one step closer to capturing the rest of the Ukraine. And that's what this is all about, right from the start. Uncle sam couldn't care less about Crimea as long as he gets another NATO  missile base in the Ukraine, even if Ukraine by then is only half of its former size. Perhaps you get some traing for geopolitics. Lots of things may appear as a joke and funny on the surface but are, in fact, pretty serious moves in a drawn-out worldwide battle.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 15:23 | 4564687 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

A lot of truth in this.  Already the neocon shills are squeeling and demanding more money for 'our brave troops'.........i.e. more moolah for the MIC.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:01 | 4562526 Element
Element's picture



"And futures, stocks, and risk in general is soaring, sending the Kremlin precisely the message it needs to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Perhaps if Russia had annexed all of Ukraine, or the Baltics, or maybe even Poland, the S&P would have soared over 2000 already?"

You realise that represents snark comentary directed at the S&P's bum-rush, right?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:08 | 4562838 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

Russia couldn't care less for the baltic states.

You're an idiot.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:53 | 4562772 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Trade what you see happening, not what you think should be happening. I learned the hard way.

My father would say: "The market is the opinion of millions of people. If you disagree with the market, you're wrong"

"What is Truth" - Pontinus Pilate

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:01 | 4562805 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

Modern markets are tightly run machines that allow a small group at the top to parasitically fleece millions of people who are clueless.       Updated it for ya.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:27 | 4562450 fx
fx's picture


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:28 | 4562454 layman_please
layman_please's picture

thank god the world is not centrally planned by the politicians anymore, i'm sure bankers are much better at it.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:33 | 4562472 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Hard to believe that a motorcycle gang leader, inside of two weeks, would take over a whole city, declare himself a proto-mayor, and then end up in Moscow signing over said city to Putin.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:20 | 4562887 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Obama, however, is far superior in reading a teleprompter...

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:03 | 4562357 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Watching history unfold before our eyes....

After listening to Putin, I feel ashamed to be led by a man of such poor quality as Obama.  Whatever you may think of Putin, he is clearly a superior statesman to the bisexual mulatto.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:57 | 4562538 TheFreeLance
TheFreeLance's picture

Putin is the only adult in the room. He has done the absolute minimum needed to maintain his strategic security. Russia just MUST have clear access to the Black Sea. Now he has made it clear that eastern Ukraine is of no interest to him, throwing the ball back in the court of the right-wing fanatics who took power in Kiev. Meanwhile, he plays to his base scoffing at US/EU sanctions, which only prove the Russian line that sooner or later, the West will use its economic power against you. All the Stans are taking notice. Just a disaster for the US long-term. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:17 | 4562620 agent default
agent default's picture

No he is just setting them up.  When the fools in Kiev try to as much as touch the Russian population of eastern Ukraine, Russia will invade with unseen ferocity. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:31 | 4562687 Dick Gazinia
Dick Gazinia's picture

Well I doubt that Odildo knows about this yet seeing as how he never attends his national security meetings.  Could somebody page him on the golf coarse?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:32 | 4562689 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

The Globalists are working to destroy ALL Nation States. The US has been set to be let get at anytime, simple matter of pulling a few plugs and out goes the bathwater. They are clearly nearing the end of their operation and they hardly care to even play with Ttreaties or "legalities" anymore. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:29 | 4562925 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Agree.  And with your comment below.  Which is why the Gas/LNG war will continue, as that energy is needed to (a) expand the demand-base to back up the Dollar, and (b) to put the python-like economic squeeze on Russia.

That's why, even with Russia supplying energy to China, the all-important (energy+debt)-backed Dollar needs to keep expanding its base to retain and even expand its GRC status.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 15:32 | 4564725 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

It's so obvious the Globalists are trying to destroy both the nation-state and ethnic cohesion (apart from one ethnicity!)  but the vast majority of people just cannot see this.  Of course that's what bread and circuses is all about....

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:48 | 4562755 TheFreeLance
TheFreeLance's picture

No, Putin knows that right-most elements simply want power -- any power. And it will be them that tries to split Western Ukraine off from the east. Remember their power center is in Lvov -- they'll try to bait Putin into moving on Kiev, but I'm guessing he's too smart for that. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:03 | 4562815 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

The Dollar was designed to collapse when ready and bring in a world wide depression to form Global Government, it's really that simple. How, when, where...I have no clue, but Russia is clearly the big fish which brings the next round of chaos.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 15:33 | 4564739 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Five years ago I'd have derided what you said.  Now I know it's 100% true.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:04 | 4562823 agent default
agent default's picture

Yeah Ok.  Turn Lvov into Stalingrad and let them sit there with all their power.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:13 | 4562608 mendolover
mendolover's picture

He's no fucking leader!  And by the sound of it he is the one who has been led his entire life.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:50 | 4562756 Secede Or Die
Secede Or Die's picture

A group of people banding together to decide their own associations and destiny...." oh the horror!!" exclaims statists like John warmonger McCain.

I am anxious for the return of men choosing their destiny by leaving "these united States" to reestablish liberty once enjoyed by our ancestors.

Ever heard this, "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands..."? Why can't any people still choose, for any reason, to establish their own governance?

Secede or die.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:06 | 4562830 agent default
agent default's picture

I have noticed that secession movements both in the US and abroad are becoming more and more popular.  If nothing else, more  and more people are waking up to the lies of the elites.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 15:37 | 4564758 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Let us hope you're right.


One other thing I notice is that more and more people internationally can see the distinction between the warmongering parasitical elite in the US and the ordinary American people.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:25 | 4562903 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

Yes. Watched the speech and my impression is that Vlad is steamrolling Obama,Biden,Kerry,McCain et al. It was a very good speech. Forceful but balanced.Skilfull execution. And after all...what are the neocons gonna do about this? Yank the Russians out of Crimea miltarily? Not gonna happen. More of this covert shit , infiltration , sabotage and NGO implemented "actions" may just lead to Russkies taking them up on the offer and annexing all of Ukraine. And then what? What are the neocons gonna do about that. I think those folks in Washington need to go back to the drawing-board and realize that they are not dealing with a two bit chump lika Kadaffi or dictator carried  by dollars , like Mubarak  ,someone  that  just can be discarded at convenience.

And no - I m not a Vlad fan.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:45 | 4562505 richsob
richsob's picture

ACORN vs. KGB   Who ya gonna bet on?  Sure, it looks bad for Barry right now but just wait until he puts down his golf clubs and gets nasty.  Anytime now.  Waiting.  Still waiting..........  Oh fuck it, let's just admit it: he can't even handle Michelle let alone go toe to toe with Vladimir.  

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:36 | 4562705 qmacro
qmacro's picture

can anyone find out what, the market did in october 1983, when usa invaded grenada? it was comparable to Crimea. coup and the trial to join the soviet union. join.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:52 | 4562769 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Not a perfecdt analogy. Grenada does not have the historical background with the US as the Ukraine does with Russia.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:00 | 4562800 qmacro
qmacro's picture

So in addition beneficial for putin

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:03 | 4562341 blindman
blindman's picture

the white house / wall street response.
My 3 year old must argue and debate everything!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:44 | 4562501 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Send that child to DC!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:01 | 4562342 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

If the Americans were lucky enough he might annex Wall Street, the White House and Congress.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:13 | 4562392 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

We are being led by people that pull the sheets over the heads to better sniff their own gas.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:16 | 4562401 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Let's hope one of them lights a match to see where he is.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:21 | 4562428 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture



Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:01 | 4562343 FJ
FJ's picture

DAX is jumping for joy! Go Russia!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:03 | 4562349 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Vlad the Liberator.

Hey, it was ours, we just took it back.

And not a damn thing you pussies can do about it.


Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:44 | 4562503 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

If instead of dropping bombs the USA had been dropping the equivalent value in specially marked US dollars from airplanes, they might have succeeded where they keep on failing and without the loss of life, reputation and pension costs for injured veterans and widows.

The dollars could then be handed over for goods at certain depots.

Could have turned them into consumers instead of enemies. Once you have certain amenities and possessions the desire for war is greatly lessened.


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:25 | 4562656 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Reality TV and Pepsi for all.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:04 | 4562356 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

futures rise on anything, cant wait to see how much futures rise when/if they ever find out what happened to flight mh370

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:04 | 4562361 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Back to the salt dome for my jr. miners.  Oh well, a man can dream.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:06 | 4562363 Piranha
Piranha's picture

Putin for president - on earth!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:14 | 4562397 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Let's not get carried away. The man is not lily white nor is Russia paradise on earth. What I will grant him is that he has held off the intruders from a full on assault on Syria, Crimea and the Ukraine. His motivations are no doubt strategic.

Too bad he did not put his foot down in Libya which is now a lawless and half destroyed nation.

By the way, I keep asking where Gadaffi's gold is. Does anybody have an official answer?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:21 | 4562426 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"His motivations are no doubt strategic."

Son, Russians don't even take a crap without a plan.  Damned right it's strategic.  And it wasn't whipped up a month or two ago.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:09 | 4562588 AUD
AUD's picture

Yes, it would seem that Putin has planned all his moves well in advance, even that others have fallen into a trap of his making. Maybe chess isn't such a shit boring game after all.

Certainly making your senator McCain look a right fool anyhow.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:24 | 4562650 chapaev's ghost
chapaev's ghost's picture

McCain has looked like a fool ever since that fateful day on the flight deck of the USS Forrestal. Everything Mccain has done since then has been just one long version of a horribly  botched hot start-slash-practical joke backfire leaving McCain looking like Wile E. Coyote with a stick of dynamite in his hand.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:41 | 4562723 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Long past time that McPain assumed room temperature.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:27 | 4562447 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

The answer lies with the central bank which was formed by the "rebels" in the early days. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:30 | 4562460 Element
Element's picture

Ask their brand spankin new central bank guvna.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:30 | 4562675 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Remember Gadaffi had a Ukrainian nurse who returned to Ukraine just before he was ousted. Only question is if gold is in Crimea or with new regime in Kiev. My guess is she is enjoying her villa on the Crimea with Putin as a frequent guest, but it is not official, and her name is not on sanctions list because Kerry is waiting to be invited to the villa.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:32 | 4562934 manofthenorth
manofthenorth's picture


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 15:42 | 4564788 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

"By the way, I keep asking where Gadaffi's gold is. Does anybody have an official answer?"


In a Rotschild bank somewhere?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:39 | 4562490 uranian
uranian's picture

You, for president of yourself. It's all bullshit beyond that.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:06 | 4562364 iLiquid
iLiquid's picture

The market, being an amoral agent, does not care whether it's "right" or "wrong".  ZH should refrain from contracting the sensationalism that is usually attached to the Leftist, Progressive media which it supposedly opposes.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:40 | 4562405 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



ZH should refrain from....


Point.....counter point.


They like Saul Alinsky......we'll give them Saul Alinsky.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:17 | 4562621 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

"sensationalism that is usually attached to the Leftist, Progressive media"


If yer stuck in the left/right paradigm and can't recognize it's a corporate media, go back to sleep

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:07 | 4562365 nakki
nakki's picture

Apparently Ze Germans and the US said no problem. Those sanctions and freezing assets we were just kidding, its all good.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:12 | 4562380 iLiquid
iLiquid's picture

More likely, there are no "assets" to on the balance sheet to freeze.  All of them are off-the-book, "paper" derivatives that cannot even be given fair values.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:19 | 4562416 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

THis whole thing was complete bullshit. Russia did what it wanted to do and this whole bullshit charade was worked out well in advance.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:38 | 4562488 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Ahhh the irony......actions speak louder than words....Germans are not objecting when selling their assets from their long term energy crisis and receiving EUR 5.1bn for the same from a Russian company owned by multiple Russian billionaires.

While the public rhetoric continues....

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:09 | 4562367 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

The 'main stream' corporate media is unanimous across the board trying to paint this as illegal and anti-democratic.  And they somehow fail to mention the neo-nazi coup that drove out the elected government of Ukraine.  Do we need to mention the likely origin of the snipers?


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:42 | 4562497 layman_please
layman_please's picture

i'm still convinced the whole thing is playing out exactly how it was supposed play out by the initiators. putin's reaction was obvious, ukraine is just too strategic to be ignored by russia. 

this kind of historic events don't just happen. putin might seem to be in control but i wouldn't bet my money on it.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:28 | 4562667 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I think your initiators done fucked up.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:08 | 4562370 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Crimea is Russia.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:42 | 4562728 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

And pretty much always has been.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:08 | 4562373 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

Queue False Flag....hell maybe there won't be any (s)elections for the 2016 POTUS when WWIII starts.  Not that it matters since it will be either a clinton or bush in the WH courtesy of the fucking boot lickin' sheep.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:22 | 4562376 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Amazing how the us can come up with billions for foreign aid/regime change, yet it can't do anything to make D.C. a little less Mordor-like.  

Clearly, the American public has gotten used to the giant .gov cock in its colon, only sporadically and weakly asking for a spot more porridge, but maybe the Ukrainians will revolt anew as the IMF and oligarch phallus tears into them with unexpected bravado.

And I look forward to stories re McShame et al. hurriedly dispatching APCs and riot gear to the Kievan Putsch Regime, in order to safeguard the "legitimate" government of Ukraine from the Ukrainians it has already begun to rape.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:53 | 4562525 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Such drama with the sodomy rape imagery.

The US/EU are reminding Ukraine that beggars really can't be choosers.

Not if they want to enjoy their coup.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:11 | 4562384 irie1029
irie1029's picture

US leaders have just been been bitch slapped.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:15 | 4562399 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:13 | 4562394 nakki
nakki's picture

Perhaps the algos thought he was asking the British Parliament, seeing as our overworked, underpaid lawmakers are on break.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:40 | 4562409 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Hey New Tylers!

Russia has no intention from annexing Poland, or broken ass Ukraine.

Can you dial down on the zionist agitprop? Try and get a little less BBG and State Department, Jeebus!

Even when likudnik Marla was around it wasn't this bad, FFS! 

How do you like them apples? How the US dream of world supremacy was buried in Crimea:

I bet people who have been around since early days, like Hedgeless Horseman and i-Dog, are regretting having donated to ZH, just to see it being sold and turned into another zionist agitprop. Whilst worthy commenters like Slewie and Two Short Planks got banned.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:52 | 4562518 knukles
knukles's picture

For such a newbie of 30 weeks membership, how the fuck you know about the old guys no longer here, reminisce about the early days unless....

Say, I'll bet you're one of the guys got banned or hated so much of them red arrows, that you come back with a different name

No Invasion of the Body Snatchers for you

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:07 | 4562541 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

I have been lurking since 2009. I remember the true old-timers such as Andy Dufresne and Cheeky Bastard.

Once it became clear to me that we were all living in a prison, there was nothing to be saved by keeping silent.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:31 | 4562677 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Electrons. Think of the electrons.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:09 | 4562587 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

It seems his tastes run more to the purple and lurid prose favored by the 'BatBoy' news outlets.

He's not alone. They sell a lot of those tabloids at the market.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:54 | 4562522 layman_please
layman_please's picture

are you serious with that link? 

US was nothing but a tool which is soon to be thrown away by the globalist who have already moved on to east (china). this whole charade is planned decades ago. russia is part of the plan.

and why the hell was Two Short Planks banned?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:03 | 4562556 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Two Short Planks was banned. I-dog then had words with Tyler to reinstate his membership, provided he wouldn't stray too far out of the sandbox.

You can dig-up the commends where i-dog himself puts it out there.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:19 | 4562410 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

So what's next for the EU/US, go to war or be ridiculed by the rest of the globe ?



Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:19 | 4562413 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture


Let's send $50 billion to the ("uninhabited") Senkaku Islands riot and coup aid now so China can annex that area and get this shit show over with.

Long gas masks and body condoms....

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:23 | 4562436 Eisenhorn
Eisenhorn's picture

Should only cost like 30 billion to convince 250 of the 4 inhabitants of the Senkaku's to riot in favor of Japan!


Let's do this!!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:20 | 4562418 Ewtman
Ewtman's picture

Just more proof that news has only a fleeting, if any, effect on the markets. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:23 | 4562435 Typing Typer
Typing Typer's picture

Crimea is a part of Russia anyway, it was only given to Ukraine as some Iron Curtain lark where the Russians thought that giving Crimea to Ukraine would make Ukraine feel more important.

In today's world, Russia is a major global power with a deep need for the Crimean warm water port, so standing in the way would just be creating a guaranteed flash point between global powers, something no one needs.

Further, a pack of US submarines in the Med would bottle up any Russian ships in Crimea, not to mention how vulnerable all ports are to missile attack in modern warfare.

So basically is it not strategically important in any real sense, but it's very "security blanket" important to the Russians, so everyone is better off letting Russia have its patch of dirt back and now we can move on.

Next give the Russian speaking parts of Ukraine to Russia, the Ukrainian parts to EU, and call it a day.

This intentional formation of flashpoints was our father's way of doing things, and only led to more and more conflict.

Settling boundaries is not inherently appeasement, you must look at each situation. I think removing flashpoints is a far superior policy to manufacturing flashpoints at any time in history.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:27 | 4562446 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

And not a shot fired or Russian killed.


Why didn't Bush and Obunga just do the same thing with Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, etc. ?


I have to admit at this point I think I'd rather have Putin leading the US than the fool we have no in office.


Putin is a good example of a leader.  But when you really only have Obungo to compare to Daffy Duck even looks better.



Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:02 | 4562558 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Why didn't Bush and Obunga just do the same thing with Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, etc. ?

Probably because the people who lived there did not want Bush and Obunga there in the first place and did not like what they were doing. So the people fought back. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:31 | 4562683 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Exactly. Who would vote to be part of the USA????

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:03 | 4562560 layman_please
layman_please's picture

another 'cry me a leader' american. what the fuck happened to you guys? even the notion of a leader means you have been brainwashed beyond all repair.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:41 | 4562718 CharlieMike
CharlieMike's picture

It can all be traced back to central banking.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:27 | 4562452 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

During all of this, has Russia shut down US access to supply routes for Afghanistan? The answer would be no.

Kabuki theatre, this outrage.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:40 | 4562494 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

All the world's a state department, and all the secretaries, merely horses

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:43 | 4562500 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Yeah, big nosed horses.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:43 | 4562467 Element
Element's picture

Is this the end of the beginning yet?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:34 | 4562474 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

And that's that.

Until Ukraine nationalizes Putin's empty gas lines under pressure from the Axis of Evil, (US/EU) as a useless and futile gesture designed to elicit a 'kinetic' response.

It will.

Then it's on.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:35 | 4562477 no1wonder
no1wonder's picture

FM Laurent Fabius of France has said the G8 suspended Russia’s participation in their meetings:
"As for the G8 as a political formation for the dialogue of all big states together, we have decided to suspend the participation of Russia, there will be seven countries that gather [for the summit] – without Russia”.

France plans to hold a grand celebration of the 70th anniversary of the Allied Forces landing in Normandy.

”However, President Putin is still invited to visit France on June 6” Fabius told Europe 1 radio.

NB: Fabius was born in Paris, the son of Louise (born Strasburger-Mortimer; 1911–2010) and André Fabius (1908–1984). His parents were Jewish and converted to Catholicism; Fabius was raised an assimilated Catholic.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:51 | 4562520 madtechnician
madtechnician's picture

Yeah , and Russia suspended the EU's gas supply .

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:43 | 4562499 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

March 16

Dear Diary,

It is hard being a nerd who studies his constitutional law!

Today at lunch, Vlad, Kim, and a chinese kid pushed me around in the men's room where I hang out and pushed my head into the toilet. Then they flicked their cigarette butts on me and flushed it. Then they pulled my wet shirt over my head. Beasts!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:17 | 4562872 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Then Michelle mooned me

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:46 | 4562508 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

It's getting very serious now.  Obama just might have to unfriend Putin.


It's March Madness time.  Remember to fill out your brackets.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:01 | 4562553 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

The Queen's going to have to issue another executive order that updates the last update that he is really serious about this. He weakens the US and makes its competitors hungry. Good for business.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:48 | 4562510 Drifter
Drifter's picture

Can Texas apply?  Other states?

It's pretty sad when Putin is way more preferred than Zero and Russian Federation sounds better than United States of America.

Btw, how's that revolution coming along?  You know, those guilliotines and lampposts and such?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 10:14 | 4562864 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

No kidding. Let's start with the fact that Russia has a totally fair flat tax system and move on to the fact that 1/3 of the money they spend on Health care is not going to private insurance "Management".

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:49 | 4562512 madtechnician
madtechnician's picture

President Putain , la merde !!!!!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:57 | 4562537 nah
nah's picture

not everyone can be Russian bitchez

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 08:58 | 4562543 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

A strong Russia is good for business.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:00 | 4562546 smacker
smacker's picture

Putin didn't start this farce and the people of Crimea have voted by over 96% in a free & fair referendum (no reports of pressure or coercion) to once again become part of the Russian Federation as opposed to remaining part of the Ukraine (now run by an unelected bunch of out-of-control fascist thugs, supported by the US/UK (and now French) goverments and the totally unelected EU which has no mandate to even be involved).

I can see why the West is so angry and wants to get its own back after being outflanked ...again ;-)

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:06 | 4562571 RadioactiveRant
RadioactiveRant's picture

You wouldn't get many reports of coercion or pressure when international observers are greeted with warning shots: Warning shots end OSCE Crimea entry bid (Al Jazeera)

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:12 | 4562605 layman_please
layman_please's picture

all elections are fraud by the definition, otherwise they would be banned.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:00 | 4562550 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Obama needs to put on his SERIOUS mom jeans; that'll send a message!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:25 | 4562643 RadioactiveRant
RadioactiveRant's picture

This is sending a message: Putin Image



Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:03 | 4562561 Jack4952
Jack4952's picture

As a American who has lived in ODESSA and SIMFEROPOL, Ukraine since 2010, I can assure my fellow Americans that, following the annexation of Crimea by Russia, the PEOPLE of ODESSA will DEMAND the same!

The people of Odessa are fiercely independent and they will never submit to the authority of either the post-coup, neo-fascist government in Kiev OR any subsequent government voted into power in Kiev.

Have a nice day!


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:07 | 4562576 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Storm the streets of Kiev, Odessa! Kiev may go down in history as the revolution that never happened. The people of Ukraine had nothing to do with it.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:31 | 4562682 Peterus
Peterus's picture

Check out some material from Vice for example. While there were some neo-fascists there, there was also just a load of dudes fed up with pro-Russia legal criminals. Also, there is heavy popular demand on the other side too. They've got people with completely different goals, so they secede. Seems like actually, a reall good thing to do. Especially if there's no war from this, just some beatings and intimidation (well, and some of these paid anti-Russia killers that were shooting AKs at the club-toting rebels).

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:28 | 4562662 MarkAntony
MarkAntony's picture

@ Jack,

As an American that lived in Ukraine 2003-20010 I completely agree. This situation is not over and it's only the beginning of things to come in Ukraine...  

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:30 | 4562678 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Any guesses on how far West this situation will spread before it stabilizes?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:36 | 4562701 CharlieMike
CharlieMike's picture

France, Spain and the UK possibly.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:48 | 4562753 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

And God bless 'em all!  My Russian wife from Moldova wants us to buy property in Pridnestrovie, and I am seriously considering it.  Imagine living in a country where the leaders actually give a shit about the people who live there!

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 23:51 | 4563036 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Gavrikon, I have posted as brap_is_back and have sent you a message/link

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:04 | 4562566 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

The Queen to sign another executive order to update the last update, that he is REALLY serious about this now. He makes all Americans look incompetent.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:08 | 4562580 john milton
john milton's picture

cuba should annex texas and florida, and vlads military base in hamptons

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:10 | 4562590 RadioactiveRant
RadioactiveRant's picture

Nah, Cuban annexation of Texas and Florida wouldn't pass a referundum; 'merkins are opposed to free healthcare.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:27 | 4562664 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Texas will secede when it wants. Where in America are there people opposed to free healthcare? I see no free healthcare anywhere before or after this new shitty law if that is what you are referencing. My fees and costs went up. 

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:33 | 4562695 CharlieMike
CharlieMike's picture

Texas has already seceded to Mexico.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:08 | 4562584 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

What the FUCK is wrong with the United States of America.  I mean, the response was all that could be done...the point of post-Cold War politics is that IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME TO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.  We spend billions so that people are supposed to like us...we will pump billions more into Ukraine than we will into Detroit and other decaying cities in America and think about what happens when people in our own country don't like US anymore...

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:26 | 4562660 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Quit bitching.

Missile parking lots don't come cheap.

They tend to make people nervous about seeming impolite to their neighbors.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:11 | 4562598 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Like i've said before........don't bother going short until the nukes start flying and your PC screen goes dark.

Another day of the farce continues.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:30 | 4562681 CharlieMike
CharlieMike's picture

When my PC screen goes dark how will I cash in my bit coins?

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:12 | 4562600 Smiley
Smiley's picture

All the BIG wars always start in Europe.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:23 | 4562647 B2u
B2u's picture

What the heck????  Obama said Putin cannot do this.  Doesn't anybody listen to Obama.  Guess not.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:24 | 4562653 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Putin took what he wanted. Western Ukraine will follow when children are starving and no heat to get thru next winter. The EU will collapse trying to save Ukraine from the bear. US is left with no soverigns to invade and loot.

There is change in the farce.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:27 | 4562666 vune
Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:50 | 4562761 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

We call it Prednistrovie.  Screw what the EU and Chisinau say.

Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:31 | 4562685 Jack4952
Jack4952's picture

What most Americans do not seem to know is that, until 1954, Crimea and the entire eastern and southern areas of today's Ukraine were RUSSIAN. They had absolutely NOTHING IN COMMON with the north and west of today's Ukraine!

 Krushchev ceded Crimea and the eastern & southern regions to Ukraine in order to "Russify" Ukraine (north and west regions) and make the Ukrainians feel more a part of the Soviet system. From my personal experience, I can assure folks that the people of ODESSA, being a mix of cultures from all over the world, have NEVER considered themselves to be "Ukrainians".

After all, it was the Ukrainians - from today's north and west Ukraine - who joined the NAZIs in wiping out millions of Russian people in today's Russian areas of Ukraine, as well as literally eliminating all Jewish people from the west Ukraine cities such as Lvov and Ivano-Frankovsk (which used to contain the largest concentrations of Jewish people in Ukraine)!

The people in Crimea and the southerm and eastern regions of Ukraine REMEMBER these atrocities - and they greatly FEAR a repetition of those events! THAT is the reason they are seeking REFUGE within the Russian Federation.


Tue, 03/18/2014 - 09:34 | 4562697 Spastica Rex
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