Summarizing Yellen's First (Disastrous) Press Conference

Tyler Durden's picture

"Miss me yet?"

"That will be $250,000 for the first 60 minutes, and $250,000 for every subsequent 60 minutes."

Why disastrous? Here is the statement that sent stocks reeling:

“So the language that we used in the statement is considerable period. So I, you know, this is the kind of term it’s hard to define. But, you know, probably means something on the order of around six months, that type of thing.”

Everything else was just Yellen rereading James Joyce's Ulysses. The key points from Bloomberg:

*YELLEN: CHANGE IN FED GUIDANCE IS NO CHANGE IN POLICY INTENT
*YELLEN SAYS SPENDING, PRODUCTION DATA IN LINE WITH EXPECTATIONS
*YELLEN SAYS LABOR MARKET CONTINUES TO IMPROVE
*YELLEN SAYS FINANCIAL CONDITIONS CONSISTENT WITH FOMC AIMS
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC EXPECTS INFLATION TO MOVE GRADUALLY TOWARD 2%
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC TO ENSURE POLICY CONSISTENT WITH DUAL MANDATE
*YELLEN REITERATES FED ASSETS TO CONTINUE TO EXPAND
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC DECISION CONSISTENT WITH PRIOR STATEMENTS
*YELLEN REITERATES QE IS `NOT ON A PRESET COURSE'
*YELLEN REITERATES QE FUTURE HINGES ON PERFORMANCE OF ECONOMY
*YELLEN SAYS LABOR MARKET IMPROVEMENT FASTER THAN ANTICIPATED
*YELLEN SAYS FED GUIDANCE BETTER REFLECTS CURRENT CONDITIONS
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC TO BASE ASSESSMENT ON WIDE RANGE OF DATA
*YELLEN SAYS RATE LIKELY TO STAY LOW FOR LONG AFTER QE ENDS
*YELLEN: FOMC WILL TAKE `BALANCED APPROACH' ON MANDATES ON EXIT
*YELLEN SAYS MANY ON FOMC SEE `RESIDUAL IMPACT' OF CRISIS
*YELLEN SAYS MUCH NEEDS TO BE DONE ON JOBS, INFLATION
*YELLEN REITERATES NEED FOR `HIGHLY ACCOMMODATIVE POLICY'
*YELLEN SAYS FORWARD GUIDANCE HAS BEEN EFFECTIVE
*YELLEN SAYS FORWARD GUIDANCE HAS `VERY USEFUL IMPACT'
*YELLEN SAYS GUIDANCE CHANGE WILL PROVIDE MORE INFORMATION
*YELLEN SAYS GUIDANCE WILL BE QUALITATIVE
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC `NOT CLOSE' TO ACHIEVING FULL EMPLOYMENT
*YELLEN: FOMC TO LOOK AT `MANY MORE THINGS' THAN JOBLESS RATE
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC FULLY COMMITTED TO 2% INFLATION OBJECTIVE
*YELLEN SAYS INFLATION LIKELY TO GRADUALLY MOVE TOWARD 2%
*YELLEN: FOMC ASSESSMENT OF ECONOMY ALMOST IDENTICAL TO DECEMBER
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC STATEMENT PRIMARY FORM OF GUIDANCE
*YELLEN REITERATES NEXT FALL LIKELY TIME FOR ENDING QE
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC FORECAST `DOTS' WILL FLUCTUATE
*YELLEN SEES NEED NOT TO READ TOO MUCH INTO FOMC FORECAST `DOTS'
*YELLEN SEES POSSIBILITY FOR `SHALLOWER GLIDE PATH' FOR RATE
*YELLEN SAYS GROWTH HAS BEEN DISAPPOINTING FOR MANY YEARS
*YELLEN SAYS MANY FOMC PARTICIPANTS SEE HEADWINDS FROM CRISIS
*YELLEN: UNDERWATER MORTGAGES, FISCAL POLICY GROWTH OBSTACLES
*YELLEN SAYS PATH TO `NORMAL' INTEREST RATES MAY BE GRADUAL
*YELLEN SAYS WEATHER HAS WEAKENED ECONOMY IN FIRST QUARTER
*YELLEN SAYS MOST ON FOMC SEE WEATHER WEAKNESS DISSIPATING
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC PROBABLY `OVER-DID' OPTIMISM IN JANUARY
*YELLEN SAYS `THE BUCK STOPS WITH ME' ON POLICY
*YELLEN SAYS SHE `KEENLY' FEELS `WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY'
*YELLEN SEES NO `RADICAL CHANGES' IN FED OPERATIONS
*YELLEN: FOMC HASN'T FACED TRADE-OFF ON INFLATION, EMPLOYMENT
*YELLEN:FOMC EVENTUALLY MAY FACE TRADE-OFF ON PRICES, EMPLOYMENT
*YELLEN:SEES CONSIDERABLE PERIOD BETWEEN QE END, FIRST RATE RISE
*YELLEN SAYS FIRST MAIN RATE INCREASE WILL HINGE ON ECONOMY
*YELLEN SAYS INFLATION CONSISTENTLY BELOW 2% WARRANTS LOW RATE
*YELLEN SAYS QE TAPER DEPENDS ON IMPROVEMENT IN LABOR MARKET
*YELLEN: QE TAPER NEEDS EVIDENCE INFLATION MOVING UP `OVER TIME'
*YELLEN REITERATES SHE LOOKS AT SEVERAL GAUGES OF LABOR MARKET
*YELLEN SAYS LONG TERM UNEMPLOYMENT BEEN `EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH'
*YELLEN SEES CYCLICAL COMPONENT IN FALLING LABOR PARTICIPATION
*YELLEN SAYS SHE ALSO TRACKS LABOR MARKET TURNOVER
*YELLEN SAYS `QUIT RATES' BELOW PRE-RECESSION LEVEL
*YELLEN SAYS HIRES RATE IN LABOR MARKET IS EXTREMELY DEPRESSED
*YELLEN SAYS `HIRES RATE' ALSO `EXTREMELY DEPRESSED'
*YELLEN SAYS WAGE GROWTH HAS BEEN VERY LOW
*YELLEN SAYS WAGE INFLATION BELOW NORMAL AT 2%
*YELLEN SAYS U.S. `LIVED THROUGH A DEVASTATING FINANCIAL CRISIS'
*YELLEN SAYS CRISIS TOOK A HIGH TOLL ON U.S. CITIZENS
*YELLEN SAYS CRISIS MADE BUSINESSES VERY CAUTIOUS
*YELLEN SAYS FISCAL POLICY HAS POSED HEADWIND TO RECOVERY
*YELLEN SAYS FED WILL TRY TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY ON POLICY
*YELLEN SAYS RECOVERY HAS BEEN `DISAPPOINTING'
*YELLEN SAYS FED WILL TRY TO BE STEADY, TRANSPARENT ON POLICY
*YELLEN: FED WILL TRY NOT TO BE CAUSE OF MARKET INSTABILITY
*YELLEN SAYS RATE OF HOUSEHOLD FORMATION BEEN `VERY DEPRESSED'
*YELLEN EXPECTS HOUSING ACTIVITY TO PICK UP `LATER ON'
*YELLEN SAYS FOMC `COMMITTED TO THE SAME SET OF GOALS'
*YELLEN SAYS STRENGTHENING FINANCIAL SYSTEM WORK IN PROGRESS
*YELLEN SAYS `HIGH PRIORITY' TO RESOLVE `TOO BIG TO FAIL'
*YELLEN SAYS IMPORTANT TO ASSESS ANY POTENTIAL STABILITY THREATS
*YELLEN SAYS BERNANKE HAD GOOD AGENDA, IT'S ONE SHE SHARES
*YELLEN SAYS SHE SHARES AGENDA PURSUED BY BERNANKE
*YELLEN SAYS DIRECT BANKING LINKS TO RUSSIA, UKRAINE NOT LARGE
*YELLEN SAYS FED MONITORING VERY CLOSELY UKRAINE CRISIS
*YELLEN DOESN'T SEE GLOBAL FINANCIAL REPURCUSSIONS FROM UKRAINE
*YELLEN NOT SEEING BROADER GLOBAL FINANCIAL IMPACT OF UKRAINE