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From Maid-Mauler To Money Manager; DSK Starts $2bn Hedge Fund

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Three years after being accused of sexual assault, removed from an airplane in NYC, and later having the charges dismissed on an alleged out of court settlement, former IMF chief, Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK) is planning to leverage his status - as an expert on global finance - as well as his thick rolodex to raise a $2bn hedge fund in Asia. As WSJ reports, the fund, which is awaiting regulatory approval, will "invest based on Dominique's analyses," and like most global macro funds will "aim for steady capital returns" with "no leverage." Ironically, given his new role as hedge fund marketer, DSK faces another case in France on charges of "aggravated pimping."

 

Via WSJ,

A new hedge fund is planning to leverage the status of former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn as an expert on global finances, as well as his thick rolodex, to raise $2 billion, notably in Asia.

 

The fund, which is awaiting regulatory approval from Luxembourg authorities...

 

We will invest based on Dominique’s analyses,” Mr. Leyne said in a telephone interview from Shanghai, where he and Mr. Strauss-Kahn are meeting with potential clients.

 

The research team of the fund will be headed by Mr. Strauss Kahn’s daughter Vanessa, who holds a Ph.D. in economics from New York University...

 

The fund, like most global macro funds, will aim for “steady capital returns” with “no leverage.” It will invest in a range of asset classes, including bonds, equities and foreign exchange, LSK chief executive officer Mohamad Zeidan said.

Trust your money with this guy - but not your daughter - whose fund name has already been proposed: Naked Call Capital LLC.

The former IMF chief, who was long seen as a presidential hopeful in France, stepped down from the IMF in May 2011 after a New York hotel maid accused him of sexual assault. Mr. Strauss-Kahn denied the accusations and the case was later dismissed by New York prosecutors.

 

The former IMF chief and the maid later settled a civil lawsuit out of court for an undisclosed amount.

 

One other case awaits him in France. Last year, French magistrates sent Mr. Strauss-Kahn to trial on a charge of aggravated pimping as part of an investigation into an alleged prostitution ring. Mr. Strauss-Kahn has said he rejected the aggravated pimping charges, and denied any wrongdoing.

"aggravated pimping" or "hedge fund marketing"?

Interesting that they claim "no leverage" will be used as we assumed the use of "naked calls" was a major part of DSK's life.

 

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Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:13 | 4576707 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

Will this fund human trafficing of foreign maids?

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:16 | 4576727 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Because real corruption knows no limitations.

 

 

Sadly, this is the world we live in people. 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4576775 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The Lenny Dykstra of the high end Hedge Fund world has just arrived.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:52 | 4576893 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"aggravated pimping of the ladies" = hawking your hookers whilst putting their performance on display

"aggravated pimping of the financials" = hawking your funds whilst putting their performance on display

each is a gateway-drug to the other 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:55 | 4576903 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

"aggravated pimping"- isn't that what bankers do?

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:08 | 4576970 Manthong
Manthong's picture

At least "investors" know what to expect from DSK.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:25 | 4577332 Independent
Independent's picture

He was appointed economic advisor for Serbia not too long ago

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/17/world/europe/strauss-kahn-to-advise-se...

He will use that two billion tribal money to rape and loot the Serbs lol

Money will be made with enslavement of the Serbs, after DSK finishes with them they will remember their times in the WW2 Concentration camps fondly.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:51 | 4577487 jaxville
jaxville's picture

He was also finance minister of France some years back. He got caught stealing student insurance funds. His connections to the filth parade kept him out of jail on that count. No surprise that he went on to a career in the IMF

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 13:56 | 4577786 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

Aggravated Pimping Advisors, LLC.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:17 | 4577023 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Take the DSK Challenge. You too could end up running a hedge fund:

"I defy you to tell the difference between a naked prostitute and any other naked woman."

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:14 | 4576711 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

what a creepy old perv!

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:14 | 4576718 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Easiest way to legally make money for one's self is to (mis)manage other peoples money.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4576719 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

when you're loaded and you have nothing better to do than con millionaires, start a hedge fund.  all .1%ers are doing it.  

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:18 | 4576734 youngman
youngman's picture

You are NOT a.1% unless you have a Hedge Fund....its a badge of Honor to the group

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:57 | 4576914 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

You have to be cautious, though. There is a fine line not to cross. B Madoff is in jail cause he fucked the 1%- and not the 99%.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:59 | 4576921 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Free Jon Corzine! /s

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:18 | 4576735 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Can't keep his hands off defenseless women? Sure as hell won't keep his hands off OPM.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:37 | 4576832 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Corzine will probably be on the board or a co-partner soon.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:20 | 4576742 Number 156
Number 156's picture

Riiiiigt.

I will put my money into a hedge fund run by someone with expensive tastes and very little self control.

Sounds legit.

 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:21 | 4576747 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

I'm really going to enjoy watching this guy blow-up 1-2 yrs. down the road...this will be hilaroious  ;)

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:23 | 4576753 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

He's absolutely fucking IDEAL Hedge Fund material.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:23 | 4576757 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Why fuck just one person in the ass when you can fuck a whole bunch of people in the ass at the same time? 2 & 20 bitchez! 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:23 | 4576759 Minge
Minge's picture

Pimpin' ain't easy...  aggravated pimping is utterly exhausting.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:25 | 4576776 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Fucking low life.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:30 | 4576804 lemarche
lemarche's picture

YET JUST ONE EXAMPLE (THAT HAPPENED TO COME TO THE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE THANKS TO SOME OF ITS ENNEMIES (WHO PLOTTED THAT MAID TRIAL PARADE?...) ), OF THE MORALS AND ETHICS OF THE 0.01%...

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4576781 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

From raping maids to raping investors, seems like a natural progression.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4576783 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It just goes to show that if a person wants to be one of the 1% they have to have no moral foundation whatsoever.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:30 | 4576803 Luckhasit
Luckhasit's picture

Ah yea, I remember this guy.  Isn't this the dude that found out that the US has no gold left to pay the IMF it's monthly fee in... gold? Damn that barbaric relic.  This is back when people started finding out that the gov deals in tungstein.

 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:30 | 4577380 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

I wonder if this was true about the gold. Maybe it was. It didn't get much coverage obviously, but Putin did definitely think it was a conspiracy of some sort against DSK. See here

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/dominique-strauss-kahn/8544909/Vladim...

The DSK gold theory is discussed here with some links to somewhat unconfirmed sources

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-latest-dominique-strauss-kahn-theory-...

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:33 | 4576811 youngman
youngman's picture

I will put my money into a hedge fund run by someone with expensive tastes and very little self control.

It worked for Madoff....

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:33 | 4576814 lemarche
lemarche's picture

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, THE 0.01% ARE LIMITLESS IN THEIR LUST FOR MAKING MONEY OUT OF THIN AIR (WELL, BETTER SAID, OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S POCKETS...)

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:39 | 4576840 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

DSK needs funding !  he has all those expensive (or many cheap) tastes and urges.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:35 | 4576821 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

 ‘which is awaiting regulatory approval’ is the key point.

Copying the IMF business model hasn’t become easier.

 

Ireland economy forced to take EU bailout

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 10:38 | 4576835 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Another thought: ya know a hedge fund is a "customer," right? I mean you can't just print new money and speculate with it. You have to actually know what you're doing.
Hence I predict he will fail, and not with a bang but a whimper.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:02 | 4576934 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

Arbing the spread between Malaysian and Cambodian prosties?

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:19 | 4577033 Puck Xue
Puck Xue's picture

The fifteen page story, Coup De Foudre, by Ken Kalfus, Harper's April 2014,

is opus if not humerous in discriptive detail regarding DSK's fucky sucky post-

modern rape scene in NYC in May, 2011.  The reader is left with disgust and

admiration.  And reluctance to ever visit NYC.

 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:20 | 4577047 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Perpare for the finger!

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 11:22 | 4577061 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Welcome to Dirtyfuckerville, have a nice day.

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:06 | 4577268 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

"aggravated pimping."

I thought that a resume documenting that kind of experience and competence was mandatory for consideration among the higher profile firms on Wall Street and its global cousins. 

DSK elevating it to an art form only elicits ooo's and aahhh's, along with the kind of knowing guffaws, winks, and nudges that are parodied on Monty Python. 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:24 | 4577345 bondman1
bondman1's picture

That May 2011 maid incident happened two months after DSK spoke before world leaders in Washington advocating a stronger role for the IMF issued SDR's. He wanted competion for the dollar as world fiat. Two months later he's in Riker's Island with bail set at 5 million dollars. Madoff's was only 10 million and he actually screwed thousands!!! That certainly was an "interesting" coincidence!   

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 12:34 | 4577403 vyeung
vyeung's picture

how do you know he's dirty? What becoz he was dragged off the plane at NYC? He was the banksters key man, why do you think that any illegal item done by him would be held accountable? Hell, non of the the current banksters even roll a head. Think people think, do research instead of reacting to garbage propoganda. I would have though posters here had alot more

Cynicism

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBlmHzL-jJ4

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 13:55 | 4577780 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture
  • STRAUSS-KAHN ACCUSER ADMITTED SHE LIED TO GRAND JURY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED FOLLOWING PURPORTED ATTACK - D.A.
  • STRAUSS-KAHN ACCUSER CLEANED ANOTHER ROOM AFTER INCIDENT, CONTRARY TO WHAT SHE TOLD GRAND JURY - NY PROSECUTOR

 

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/district-attorney-says-dsk-accuser-admi...

 

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 15:32 | 4578179 DriveByLurker
DriveByLurker's picture

I wonder if he's going to be able to stay focused on his trades, or if he's going to be constantly distracted by the night deposit box.

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