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Senator Dan Coats' Top 10 Reasons Why Russian Sanctions Suck
Having noted the ridicule with which the Russians view the sanctions barrage between the EU and US, we thought it worth reflecting, courtesy of Senator Dan Coats, on the absurd political farce that is the entirely useless (and purely public-relations-based) war of words (and not actions) that is under-way as the West realizes the Russian "boomerang" is coming any minute...
In the spirit of Hoosier native @Letterman, here are the top 10 things I won't be able to do since Putin banned me from Russia:
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
10. I won’t be able to complete my granddaughter’s Russian doll collection
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
9. I won’t be able to compare the Bolshoi Opera House with the Palladium in Carmel
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
8. I’ll never learn the Russian name for our dog Hoosier
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
7. I won’t be able to ski on the slushy slopes of Sochi
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
6. I won’t be able to buy Marsha a Russian mink coat for Christmas
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
5. I won’t be able to counsel Duma members on how to say no to a President
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
4. I’ll have to cancel my tennis match with Maria Sharapova
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
3. I won’t be able to compare Russiaville, IN with Russia
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
2. I won’t be able to see if borscht really does taste just like pork tenderloin
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
1. Our summer vacation in Siberia is a no go
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
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Despair no longer about item 8, Senator Coats cause we at ZH are here to tackle such thorny issues!
The Russian word for "Hoosier" is...... "Hoosier"!
I kid thee not:
http://translate.google.com/#en/ru/hoosier
Wow, this guy is a fuckin' comedy genius!
Hopefully he'll quit his day job.
US Senators are always welcome here in the winter.
Dan Coats' diagnosis: The patient died during the autopsy. ;-)
Looney
Wow! I never thought I'd see someone outdo Michael Snyder at being horrible at making lists.
#11 - Eternally wonder about implications of EUR/USD as Gasprom shuts off the valve.
Well if Maria Sharapova was here I doubt tennis would be on my mind
She lives in Manhattan Beach, CA.
Just sayin...
+2?
Here +100. Fixed it.
That was hilarious. And being JoeSexPack, I'm takin' your word for it.
Just sayin...
Congress can't respond intellegently. All they got are jokes.
The patient died during the labotomy
The patient died during the vasectomy?
The war of words will continue to escalate until May, when Russia and China will announce a new gigantic global energy policy designed to funnel 2/3rds of the earths fossil fuels into the hands of 2/3rds of the Earth population.
By which time the West will look as ridiculous as we actually are.
Let's hope everyone's thumbs are at the ready for an all-out Twatter war, because this is what it's come to — snarky tweets.
I AM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED TO BE AN AMERICAN.
Can Texas secede already? I'd love for there to be at least one bastion of hope in North America besides Canada.
Indeed, he's as funny as a shool bus fire. Edgy of him using twitter too.
These fucking Politicians are like children. What will his next list say when he takes back the Balitic States? Fucking Sodomite Promoting Marxist Puke.
And this is behavior befitting of an honorable PUBLIC servant?
Still don't the real problem yet?
the USSA is obviously leaderless, and has been for awhile. we have actors... very crappy actors at that. Perhaps Americans should look into how Russians managed to kick out their zionist occupier government after the collapse of the USSR, and duplicate the effort.
And we pay these fools ?
He can't be a reflection of America, he is not obese.
What an arrogant asshole. That list should be plastered to his chest as he's swinging from a lamp post. The hubris coming from our government is disgusting.
Miffed;-)
Isn't he a riot! Chris Rock's job is safe.
get off twitter and do your fucking job asshole...instead of flying around in jets banging hookers on our dime!
amen.
When Danny "retired" from the Senate he moved to Virginia and became a lobbiest for, among others, Goldman Sacks (sp) for a long time. When he decided he could make even bigger money stealing from the taxpayers again, he "moved" back to Indiana to run. I am ashamed to be an Indiana resident and if not for my wife I would be long gone from this piece of shit state.
I knew Dan Coats in high school, we were both on the same track team. So now I know what happened to him - he became a Goldman Sacks agent that uses fascist groups in Ukraine. Disgusting.
and what are you doing about it!
amerikans are pussies, 300 milllion guns and you shoot up schools?
Trouble is, his job is working for the bankers.
I bet anything he has a staffer do this some (young ho or dealer on the side like thw Washingtinienne), who said she couldn't figure out how ay Congressional Aide could afford to live 'cept by dealing or Ho'ing. Tea partiers Yell "Gold Bless America" when they pop, Dmes shout "all hai Comerade BHO" and regular ol GOP'ers shout "Moree tax cuts please....
I just got the douche-chills... a common ailment facing Americans when reading the embarrassing things coming out of our politicians mouths.
borscht is Ukrainian, dumbfuck
Looking at the Twatter, he has been told.
And, made properly is absolutely delicious. One of my favorites with crusty bread
Yep, that's my P.O.S "represenative" diplomatically tweeting away like a little girl, and oh look his number one thing he can't do is the same as McShitstain's. It's almost as if the two fudge packers were planning a trip together.
Must be that "Hoosier Hospitality."
The razor sharp wit of Dan Coats is on the same extraordinary level as John McCain's youthful vigor.
You wont be able do muchinhe ussa ehen they russian chineese drop the dollar jtll be oil for gold you dumb fuck child molester
This guy helped bankrupt our children and grandchildren and helped send thousands of American boys to die as cannon fodder in useless wars, with tens of thousands of maimed vets and vets with kids who are driving into tree poles to kill themselves, and he is making stupid jokes about important matters?
What a corrupt, evil ass.
It's nice to see that the grown ups are busy running the country. Oops did I say running? I meant ruining.
P: (219) 663-2595
call his office and ask why he has so much free time to fuck around...instad of doing his fukkin servant job
the corn-bred twit that answered the phone did not like my tone and hung-up on me...tough shit you scumbag servants
Hey easy on us hoosiers. Not all of us are assholes. Despite our 'representatives' there are some pretty good people here.
no offense meant with the corn-bred comment...some of my best friends are from chicago (midwest) ;)
I agree with ya Doc, I travel up to southern Indiana, on the Ohio river, almost every summer to visit family. Great people up there, nice hospitality and pretty Midwestern girls.
Yeah but hoosier daddy?
I think JHK refers to them as "corn-pone nazis". Fitting
Sharapova is resident in the US.
What do he and McCain want? WAR!?
Re: What do he and McCain want?
There's the kick-ass daddy brains and the smothering-mommy brains.
When another kick-ass daddy shows up on the block, smothering-mommy hides behind her kick-ass daddy and the rocks start sailing.
Not much "thinking" going on the humans, we're just the least stupid animal on the planet.
What happens if smothering-mommy already neutered her kick-ass daddy?
Re: What happens if smothering-mommy already neutered her kick-ass daddy?
Looks like kick-ass has lots of toys to play with: Big-Ag, Big-MIC, Big-Road, Big-Water, Big-Airport, Big-Energy, Big-Fin, Big-PoliceState.
With about 20 years of perpetually war again' th' trrrsss, could you perhaps define "neutered"?
Think any of the neighbors on "disfunctional-US-family's" block think kick-ass is neutered? I suspect they think he's psychotic, not neutered.
Think any of the neighbors on "disfunctional-US-family's" block think kick-ass is neutered?
Yes, mr psychotic was neutered, his baby daddy probably was too. There's actually a link between the neutering of US males and disfunctional family psychosis. Broken drunken men without purpose won't be a challenge to any gov or any new kickass daddy. There's hardly any men left, it's going to be up to you girls to take charge. That's why we have a new movement from the liberals to ban the use of the word "bossy".
Re: There's hardly any men left
Seems to be no shortage of REAL men at our glorious gladiator events.
I'm sure, when the proper bullshit is created for them, they step up to attack - yet again - the wrong country or group of people again. I have confidence in this. Country FIRST.
We can't really fight our brains. We've got the system we do because the sociopaths are just ever so slightly smarter=n-savvier than the average dumbass.
"Seems to be no shortage of REAL men at our glorious gladiator events." That's a smothering-mommy perspective, that doesn't define a real man at all and maybe explains why she has the baby daddy. A real man is naturally a defender of his wife and family, which extends to being a defender of his country and culture.
Here's compilation of his voting record, nuthin' special, just supporting the Political and Praetorian Class.....
http://www.ontheissues.org/senate/Daniel_Coats.htm#Budget_+_Economy
11. They come back and bite us in the ass.
11. My Russian counterparts annexed a part of a country and all I got was this stupid t-shirt, felt emasculated, so I try to make a joke out of it.
Oh, come on all you nay-sayers... this is a light hearted attempt at a joke, not a series of serious politcal speak. Lighten up. Direct your energy to stuff that really makes a difference.
I'm not a Dan Coats fan by any means, but I also don't get my panties all bunched up by taking things out of context.
these scumbag servants do nothng all day but push their constituent lobbyists agenda...that doesn't take-up much of the day...they have forgotten that they are servants, not royalty
Re: they have forgotten that they are servants, not royalty
Uhh, that's what the children are taught.
In reality, they are Elusium Support Class members. In a survival of the fittest, winner take all society, it's tough to be a member of the Prey Class.
Reading this looks like Erdogan had a point shutting down Twitter.
And there are still people retweeting (christ what a word) this.
What a crappy sense of humor.
I see this comedy genius Public SERVANT, is grafting his tits off on your collective coin as hard as he can then?
What an utter joke, a collective fuck up the west has become. And all the while, folks like this numb-nut collect vast fotunes of our coin for doing nothing but take the right fucking piss out of all of us peons.
I would laugh if this were funny.
But sadly, its far from it.
:-(
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/sellotape-selfies-take-over-from-no... IS the World CraZy YeT?!
Russia does tit for tat and dipshit is making fun of it, he's a fucking idiot.
This is eastern european humor mocking us with how silly our sanctions are to them.
Honestly I am really sickened by this whole politistar crap. Why can't our elected officials "o" included act like adults and professionals. They act like spoiled little starlets seeking attention aka Justin Beiber ala Seifeld skit with the man purse and fur. Grow the hell up we have a nation in crisis.
Re: Grow the hell up we have a nation in crisis.
Not really. There are two nations. The Elysium Class and the Elysium Support Class are doing VERY well.
The Prey Class (the bottom 80%), hell - who cares about them, or has ever cared? We can't even pass predatory-lending laws to keep the predators from eating the nearly retarded people.
This munchkin gets paid the big bucks + percs. Isn't he supposed to be representing the Sovereign Citizens of the State of Indiana and seeking the impeachment and prosecution of the Obungholio Administration?
Is this really the best Indiana has got?
Shows how utterly useless these politicians on both sides of the isle are. This is what they do, how much are we paying these self serving servants of the public? It is so embarrassing.
So Crazy KGB Colonel without provocation and with stated intent invades "psycho State" and claims it for his own...and we blame all of Russia and the Russian people for this?
Clearly your tennis match with Ms Sharapova is still ON Congressman Coats!
YUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUKYUK
What a ripe c**t. Instead of this you'd think MAYBE he might be working to get our rights back, to eliminate the spying, prosecuting the many corrupt politicians in his company, prosecuting Holder, the FED, impeachment proceedings for this war criminal cum constitution usurper boy president or any of the myriad criminals and propagandists in the business and media community.
INSTEAD he goes after a foreign leader for backing RUSSIANS in a long held and Russian owned outpost from an illegal and ill=advised overthrow attempt by the US government and the EU.
Fuck you Dan Coats and take Obama, and all the political cum junkies with you on your way to hell.
Give us our freedom and liberty back!
Wow. I thought only teenage Jewish girls could be that snarky.
Who the hell is Dan Coats? I've never heard of him until today.
Please tell me this guy has something better to do in the National Interest than sitting around twiddling his thumbs and thinking up Stupid Letterman Lists?
It's pronounced Doom-AHSS.
Perfect humor for the new Idiocracy.