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US Prepares To Provide A Billion To Ukraine As Detroit Plans Mass Water Shutoffs Over $260 Million

Tyler Durden's picture


Moments ago the CBO released its estimate of what S. 2124, aka "Support for the Sovereignty, Integrity, Democracy, and Economic Stability of Ukraine Act of 2014", better known as the "Payment of Overdue Gazprom Invoices Act" - here is the verdict: "CBO estimates that enacting the bill would decrease direct spending by $373 million over the 2014-2024 period. S. 2124 would achieve that decrease mostly by rescinding funds that were provided as an emergency requirement. Certain sanctions, if enacted, would affect revenues, but CBO estimates that those effects would not be significant. Pay-as-you-go procedures apply because enacting the legislation would affect direct spending and revenues. CBO estimates that the statutory pay-as-you-go effects of S. 2124 (which, by law, do not including the effect of rescinding funds provided under the emergency designation) would be to increase the deficit by $320 million over the 2014-2024 period." Of course, the total amount authorized is substantially higher at $1.3 billion, and will be met through various loan guarnatees, and other US-backed promises, which the CBO is assuming right now, will not result in outlays (they will).


Either way, one thing is certain: in order to enforce the fading Pax Americana in the Ukraine, and to keep the funding to the otherwise insolvent Ukraine flowing, which as everyone knows will be first and foremost used to pay Russia's Gazprom, the US is about to send lots of money abroad. As in, not in the US.

So when it comes to priorities, whom does Putin have to thank for the billions in Western funds he is about to receive? Maybe he can start in Detroit, where the local utility is planning mass water shutoffs over $260M in delinquent bills.

In other words, while the US is enforcing some odd international law, according to which a democratic vote is not credible but a violent coup is, US citizens are about to have no drinking water over a paltry $260 million. From Detroit News:

The Detroit Water and Sewerage Department has a message for Detroit residents and companies more than 60 days late on their water bills: We’re coming for you. With more than half of the city’s customers behind on payments, the department is gearing up for an aggressive campaign to shut off service to 1,500-3,000 delinquent accounts weekly, said Darryl Latimer, the department’s deputy director.


Including businesses, schools and commercial buildings, there are 323,900 Detroit water and sewerage accounts; 164,938 were overdue for a total of $175 million as of March 6. Residential accounts total 296,115; 154,229 were delinquent for a total of $91.7 million. The department halts cutoffs through the winter because of complications associated with freezing temperatures, such as damaged pipes. But this spring, a new contractor has been hired to target those who are more than two months behind or who owe more than $150 — twice the average monthly bill of $75.


The department says it’s now ready to “catch up” with cutoffs halted because of the unusually harsh winter weather. DWSD is looking to show there are consequences associated with not paying water bills, Latimer said.


“Not everyone is in the situation where they can’t afford to pay,” he said. “It’s just that the utility bill is the last bill people choose to pay because there isn’t any threat of being out of service.”


People pay up more when they see the department out cutting off water to neighbors, and the statistics bear that out, officials said. In July, for example, before contractors started on the shutoffs, the department cut off 1,566 customers. That month, it collected $149,000 in water bills. Extra contractors started working on cutoffs last summer. Attheir peak in October — before cold weather caused a halt to the disconnects — 3,700 cutoffs occurred. The department collected more than $350,000 in overdue bills that month. That number of cutoffs translated to more than double for warm weather months compared to last year.


We’re trying to shift the behavioral payment patterns of our customer base right now,” said Constance Williams-Levye, DWSD commercial operations specialist. “And so aggressively we’ll have a team of contractors coming in, in addition to our field teams.” Up to 20 additional contractor crews are expected to be employed working on the cutoffs, DWSD officials said.


The department bills monthly and sends out notices when bills are overdue. When an account is more than 60 days late, a notice goes out saying service could be cut, Latimer said.


Residents don’t necessarily have to move out but Latimer said there were instances, in the case of households with children, where the department of social services will come in and say the kids will be removed from the home if water is not restored.


“Usually folks will then come in and make some kind of arrangement,” Latimer said.

While we respect the DWSD's "behavioral" experiment at making Americans accountable and taking responsibility for their action, such as paying for services rendered, it is far too late - the entire fabric of US society would tear apart, with disastrous and deadly consequences, if such an approach was taken at the wholesale level. Confused why? Just look at the $17.5 trillion in public obligations the US government is on the hook for, and which it will never repay, aka the "Minsky Moment" with the only footnote that for now the US is the world's reserve currency, so the Fed can always print more $ and monetize even more debt. Sadly, this always ends in tears.

In the meantime, since everyone in the US is merely living from can kicking to another can kicking, one wonders: wouldn't the $373 million in funds destined to pay off Putin's oligarch buddies not be better used to pay overdue DWSD bills, which would then allow several tens of thousands of Detroit residents to have running water for a few more months?

Not that we advocate either course of action, but we do wonder: just who sets capital allocation responsibilities at the White House. Because last time we checked, Russian billionaire oligarchs don't even vote in the US.


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Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:57 | 4586842 mumbo_jumbo
mumbo_jumbo's picture

well now we know what the US government really cares about

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:58 | 4586843 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

file on time, SERFS!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:00 | 4586864 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Hey, In The usA Whats' Fair Is Fair...
Now, Pay Your OmaboaCare Bill And Run Along Nicely...

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:07 | 4586904 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Maybe they'd get some cash if a phone call was leaked of Detroit's mayor threatening to nuke Windsor.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:20 | 4586979 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

For those who are used to living out in the country (or at least in the burbs where burning is allowed), you know that it's best to let your burn pile dry out for a few months before lighting it.  Then all it takes is one well-placed match.


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:50 | 4587128 negative rates
negative rates's picture

What's the order on that again? water, power, rent, shoes.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:00 | 4587152 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

wouldn't the $373 million in funds destined to pay off Putin's oligarch buddies not be better used to pay overdue DWSD bills, which would then allow several tens of thousands of Detroit residents to have running water for a few more months?

Nothing new there.

Within the last month, the Defense Department announced that it would be purchasing over $700 million dollars worth of aircraft for the Afghan armed forces. 

The Russian helicopters were ordered despite a specific ban from the Congress on buying from Rosoboronexport so long as the Russian company continues arming the Syrian government. However, the Pentagon determined that there was a vital need for the helicopters, justifying the purchase through using funds allocated to the 2012 fiscal year, rather than the 2013 funding pool to which the ban applied.

Vital no doubt, particularly considering Afghanistan doesn't have an airforce lol

Whatever you do, don't cut that gawddamn defence budget! Every cent counts. 

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:07 | 4587212 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

per detroit water shut offs

harbor freight sells the water main tool for under twenty bucks, and its nice and long to reach the recessed city mains


anyone in the area who wants to start a little cottage industry turning back on shut off water, you're welcome

and dont over charge these people frikkin darkest africa in the US these days turning off peoples water

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:30 | 4587304 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Should we take bets on how many "fiscally responsible" tea-baggers jump on board with Ukraine payoffs?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:12 | 4587530 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture




Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:13 | 4587538 Oquities
Oquities's picture

fuck you with your morally relative blame game.  "i fucked my neighbor's wife, but at least i didn't fuck my wife's sister."  your sissy-ass liberal skirt is showing, dumbass!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:32 | 4587647 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture





Mon, 03/24/2014 - 19:46 | 4587945 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Just don't shut the Natty Ice off and my EBT!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 21:57 | 4588462 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

I don't know about Michigan, but in many states it is illegal to cut off the water to an occupied house.   The occupants have to be evicted first.  I imagine some of the homes are rented to people who aren't directly responsible for paying the water bill.   

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:16 | 4587548 macholatte
macholatte's picture


Has any Detroit politician, at any time, ever said anything remotely close to resembling this:

"My fellow Detroit residents. I apologize to you for being a complete fuck-up as a representative of the people and am guilty of negligence as well as malfeasance. On the other hand, I have an ego the size of a Cadillac, am completely self absorbed and at the end of the day, you dip shits voted for me, three times. Not only that, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and got the complementry cocaine & Crystal with my hooker. Adios suckers. I'm off to WashingtonDC where I'll be on the government payroll as a consultant. BRAA HA HA HA"

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:15 | 4587549 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

I'd like to think that a few of the $65B/month  Benyellen the Felon  spends each month bailing out the banksters would be money better spent.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:26 | 4587621 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Wouldn't the $373 million in funds destined to pay off Putin's oligarch buddies not be better used to pay overdue DWSD bills, which would then allow several tens of thousands of Detroit residents to have running water for a few more months?


That's just kicking  the water can down the road as well.  Fact is the free shit army that makes up 90% of Detoilet's population don't believe in payin' for nuffin'.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:39 | 4586980 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

FSA wants free water to their taps in their ObamaHomes (to compliment their free heat, free electricity, free cell phone service & free EBT/SNAP Cards - now accepted at Starbucks).

Obama, his "leftist friends'" along with JohnMcCainus/NancyLindseyGraham & their "right wing" friends (Red Team/Blue Team paradigm), want 1 billion USD "liver eater" loan for Ukraine.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:10 | 4587232 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Americans still working in the private sector - the new slaves.

And since the majority of middle class taxpayers are White...

Say, that's just a coincidence, I'm sure!

Massa got me workin' Massa got me picken'; someday Massa set me free!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:13 | 4587534 max2205
max2205's picture

No one, I mean no one shuts off the FSA's water or anything else

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:29 | 4587634 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

I think that as well but at some stage the printers will go on fire.  And then sit back and enjoy the greatest chimpout the world has ever seen.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 19:51 | 4587969 toady
toady's picture

No shit. See the harbor freight comment above, or any half-assed plumber. I'm surprised they haven't nigger-rigged bypasses on the gallon counter already.

They will be now!

I can see cottage industries popping up. It's free enterprise at its finest!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:15 | 4587258 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

A good buddy of mine lives in Jacksonville, Fl. He just posted on crapbook that there's a store around the corner from his apartment that accepts food stamps for edible underwear. LMFAO...where exactly would you file that under for the fsa? Hilarious and sad all wrapped up in one. Fucking ludicrous!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:18 | 4587577 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

do the underwear have usda stickers on them for nutritional content?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:21 | 4586983 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Hey, Williambanzai7:

Time for a poster advertising free "ObamaWater"®

The free bottled water for embattled Detroit welfare recipients...


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:09 | 4587225 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

but can you drink it?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:12 | 4587529 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Not until a teleprompter tells you that you're thirsty.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:58 | 4586848 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Ukraine = white people

Detroit = brown people


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:03 | 4586876 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

I saw a white there once.

He was running like hell.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:28 | 4586962 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Hellstheproblem?  If Detroit burns down frm a lack of water, we'll label it urban renewal,

  and MOVE ON, BITCHES.  Lean Forward!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:43 | 4587084 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

"Every night sounds like the 4th of July in Detroit."

--Anonymous 10mm semiauto owner

p.s. The same shit (failure to pay utilities) is going on in ever growing numbers across the USSA. Recovery Year Number 5, bitchez.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:21 | 4587589 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Lean forward. Shit. Bend over!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:55 | 4587154 trader1
trader1's picture

racial jokes are so 20th century.

stop showing your age and a disregard of determinism.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:58 | 4587162 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Really. We have a racial joke as president right now in the 21st century,

or hadn't you noticed ?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:24 | 4587296 trader1
trader1's picture

i don't judge a president by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character and actions.



Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:28 | 4587308 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

All are dark.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:35 | 4587656 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture





Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:36 | 4587355 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

His actions, and his character just happen to perfectly  fit the worst rascist stereotypes.

Maybe its an act to generate tension.

And no ,I'm not a rascist , far from it.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:37 | 4587672 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture



Tue, 03/25/2014 - 01:26 | 4588973 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

oh shit, you're not!

I remember, you're that guy from youtube who replied on a bunch of coryc videos. Goatee and all, most comments were racist and all your videos were yelling.

Right here under my nose the whole time.

Your other ZH account with the same nickname from youtube went silent.

Years ago.

Well how about that, you've been here all along.

I know who you are, you're not CHUMBAWAMBA.


I remember you.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:38 | 4587356 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Barry wants to be "judged"...or rather "accommodated" based on the color of his father's skin.  Not his mother's.  Just sayin'...

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:49 | 4587720 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

You assume he knows who his father was.........

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:19 | 4587582 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Very well put. So the current and past 8-9 presidents were what?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:38 | 4587679 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 19:14 | 4587813 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Hey Chumbawamba what are you trying to say?


I am not familiar with that word. Based on my genetics I can not say it. Other people based on their gentics can say it so many different ways you need "Jive Talk Dictionary" to understand the meaning.

Wed, 03/26/2014 - 00:39 | 4592876 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:47 | 4587712 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

i don't judge a president by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character and actions.


Yeah, right.  The only time skin colour seems to matter is when it comes to affirmative action.  Then race is no longer a social construct.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 20:21 | 4588102 Blano
Blano's picture

He's a pathetic stupid fuck both ways.  Case closed.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:44 | 4587697 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Touche, Winston, touche!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:06 | 4586894 Nue
Nue's picture

Ukraine = One of the most agricultural fertile places on earth.

Detroit = cars that catch fire when you crank them.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:48 | 4587121 trader1
trader1's picture

you're a big picture kind of guy.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:24 | 4587605 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Actually, Tesla isn't produced in Detroit.....


And one of the largest urban farms is underway in.....Detroit!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:50 | 4587127 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Maybe we should let Joe Taxpayer keep his hard earned money, instead of buying favors overseas or bailing out deadbeats at home


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:02 | 4587183 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

+1 Dave for the Paul Kersey link:-)

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:16 | 4587555 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Damn I won't even link to SBPDL; hard core man, hard CORE!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:19 | 4587280 trader1
trader1's picture

it's sad but true.

american society is being overrun by a strong political current of schizophrenic, psycho-capitalist, white, right-wing conservative, (anti)christian bigots


debt jubliee for detroit would solve its problems and then some.  they'd be back on their feet again.  

instead, you have a bunch of sick bastards who want to watch a real-life reality show of a depression and get off on their racial jokes.  

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:30 | 4587316 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Yeah sure because 86% blk population of Detroit just reeks of self motivation. lmao!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:40 | 4587379 10mm
10mm's picture

Debt forgivness should be country wide. Never will happen. It will require a default or defaults. Then stay as much out of shit system as possible.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:31 | 4587646 GeorgeHayduke
GeorgeHayduke's picture

Good idea, but it'll never fly because they don't want people to be free. They want them constantly worried about next month's rent, and the grocery bill and the electric and water bills. They don't want a population of people who aren't under their thumb.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:40 | 4587381 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

white, right-wing conservative, (anti)christian bigots


You think that is the cohort overrunning society?  Can you send me some of what you are smoking?

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 02:11 | 4589032 trader1
trader1's picture

it's hyperbole, but yes i do think there is a strong risk of the current situation worsening.

the tendency is also rising in certain parts of europe.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:21 | 4587590 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Christians are no different. They use Jesus as a scapegoat and have no clue what he was all about

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 20:52 | 4588208 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



I can't reconcile your notion of being Christian and not knowing what Jesus is all about. 

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:49 | 4587431 supersajin
supersajin's picture

Sad but true. America has no problem spending money on brown/black people...unfortunately a drone or political instability is usually the delivery system of payment!!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:17 | 4587565 Oquities
Oquities's picture

Ukraine = people taking your tax dollars for handouts

Detroit = people taking your tax dollars for handouts

You = dumb shit

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:02 | 4586856 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:32 | 4587042 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

The quickly evacuated Ukrainian gold followed a somewhat
Libyan pattern, kind of worthless if with a truly trusted custodian because it is no longer for sale. That should
get demand and prices down ! Nothing to do with an illiquid
market void of any physical !

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:24 | 4587293 eurogold
eurogold's picture

Clearly the U.S. is less of a priority than pissing on the World Stage of misguided diplomacy. How deliciously American !

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:51 | 4587724 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Does Dtroit have any gold? Then F off!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 19:06 | 4587788 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

...and it's not US. Which I don't have a problem with. Because I hate my Government!!! I love my country but the Government is not my country! Nuff said.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:58 | 4586844 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Detroit, you need to start a "Pro-Western" revolt of your own.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:05 | 4586893 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

I am keen to see pro-EU flags waving all over Detroit, and van Rampuy and Barroso loudly agitating in Grand Circus Park.


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:28 | 4587630 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

there are not enough Detroit police to march in such a rally. 


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:18 | 4586947 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

BTW, break all the real or economic windows you want, in all the ethnic areas you want, and it won't make a difference in DC, NY or Hollywood.

But if you really want some serious attention from DC and the MSM/LSM*, you first break the windows of a prominent Detroit Synagogue and when the MSM rolls in, you say:  "Can you hear me now?  Bitchez."  Call it a wild, crazy hunch.

* Main/Lame-Stream Media

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:22 | 4586989 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Careful with that truthiness around here, Pilgrim;)

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:31 | 4587028 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Thanks.  I was gonna add that you hire Samuel L Jackson to deliver that line ("Can you hear me now?  I said... can you hear me now!?  Bitchez!") -- in classic Pulp Fiction style.

ps. NSA, AIPAC, I understand that we are all equal, and the none of us are more equal than others in USSA.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:41 | 4587085 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Kirk has been kirk off style from the start, beware.

From my intuition foreign agent.

Adapting , but not fast, so probably from Europe.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:54 | 4587748 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Careful with that truthiness around here, Pilgrim;)


Or you'll be joining Francis Sawyer in ZH limbo.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:48 | 4587119 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

They did and this is how it ends.


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:49 | 4587125 headhunt
headhunt's picture

That's like telling a zebra to change the direction of his stripes.

It is essentially inborn to generations that they do not pay their utilities because the city will not turn off the utilities. Free shit - a 'right'.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:37 | 4587358 goldhedge
goldhedge's picture

You have the guns...



Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:58 | 4586850 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

yellen can print that in 2 seconds, WtF?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:27 | 4587306 eurogold
eurogold's picture

For how much longer? The rest of the World will not tolerate this unlimited printing for much longer. This cherade will end very badly

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 15:59 | 4586855 Cursive
Cursive's picture

When will we see "Naked and Afraid in Detroit" on cable TV?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:12 | 4586933 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Every night on the ten o'clock news should cover it.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:57 | 4587758 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

When will we see "Naked and Afraid in Detroit" on cable TV?


When YKW know longer own the media,  i.e. never.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:01 | 4586867 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Detroit will do what they do in Mexico - dig up the streets and run their own plumbing for access to water.


But that's ok, Detroit will recover - NOT.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:10 | 4587520 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Perhaps the US should just deed all of Detroit to the illegals in the country. At least we know they will clean the place up, prepare kick-ass food and the lawns will be immaculate. It's a win-win situation. 

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:29 | 4587642 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

I think the Chinese are ahead of you on that one, bro.

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 13:22 | 4586869 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

"Because last time we checked, Russian billionaire oligarchs don't even vote in the US."

No, but they still have a truck-load of money, and face it, George Soros hasn't exactly been bad for the Democrat agenda.  Yes, I know, Soros is Hungarian.  The point is the source of the money doesn't matter.  :-O

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:02 | 4586871 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Definition:  irony (see link)

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:03 | 4586879 Agent P
Agent P's picture

We should not be sending any money to war-torn third world countries such as Detroit. 

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:50 | 4587129 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

Exactly! We have a lot more brown people to drone and bomb the shit out of in AfghanIraqistan...Ten years later and we can't take out a decentralized AlQeada. What in the world makes us think we could take on a country like Syria, much less someone like Russia?

CONgress needs to be publically hung, disembowled with bankers hanging from their entrails! Mother fuckers.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:03 | 4586880 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Free money... unless you have nothing of value to steal.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:09 | 4586914 agstacks
agstacks's picture


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:06 | 4586897 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

"We are trying to shift the behavioral payment patterns of our customer base right now".........why do people always feel the need to tip toe around shit?

Call a spade a spade, tell it like it is. You are behind on your payment and we are not a fucking bank.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:10 | 4586918 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Were you referring to Detroit or Ukraine?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:16 | 4586899 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

If a bank or bankster needs money the public purse is open.

If taxpaying citizens need money the public purse is closed.

Welcome to the U.S.S.A. Kleptoligarchy.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:53 | 4587140 negative rates
negative rates's picture

That's why they call it privatizing the profits, and socializing the losses.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:07 | 4586905 Racer
Racer's picture

The US bully doesn't care about the serfs, er citizens of USSA, only being the biggest bully in the global playground

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:10 | 4586911 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Well, with no water Detroit can be razed even quicker. So at least we have that going for us.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:28 | 4587019 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I keep wondering why a city long on the brink of insolvency never bothered to collect righty-due monies owed to them.  Apparently for years.  All of a sudden some genius figures out, way too late to matter, that they need to actually collect that money?

$260MM is a LOT of overdue $30/mo. water bills.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:43 | 4587095 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's like trying to collect debts on the parking meters. Sooner or later it becomes more expensive to try to collect from people who don't have any money then what it does to write it off.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:58 | 4587164 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

A (non-union) man can shut off approx. 150/200 meters a day, but to dig them out and put a lock on them.... (that will be cut off in 24 hours)  no more than 50 a day.


Good luck with that.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:11 | 4586928 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

I hope the Detroit Fire Dept has paid its bill?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:17 | 4586968 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

Some people might hope not.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:57 | 4587461 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

In Detroit don't they intentionally set fires?!  

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:12 | 4586934 10mm
10mm's picture

Cut back on big ticket items like Escalades, 5 TV's' 300.00 sneaks or the top line butcher cuts.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:28 | 4587629 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Dat's rayciss

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:12 | 4586935 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

If only Detroit were nestled up on Russia....

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:59 | 4587167 Jethro
Jethro's picture

The Russian version is called Chechnya

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:14 | 4586941 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

The Detroit Water and Sewerage Department has a message for Detroit residents and companies more than 60 days late on their water bills: We’re coming for you.

Hope and Change was supposed to pay that bill dammit!!!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:15 | 4586946 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Seems to be Franklin Templeton Aid to Ukranian Bond Exposure.... MOBIUS TRAPPED¡ with more than 6,000 Mn USD¡

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:18 | 4586971 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

No doubt our $1 Billion in tax dollars will go to banks and financiers, or to pay Gazprom bills.

Stop the insanity!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:45 | 4587704 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

My friend, you must understand that 'most' "Americans' are ignorant or willfully blind to what is going on. Those 'in the know' have already stopped feeding the BEAST...There are also those whose 'survival' depends on maintaining the status quo. They are the ones who will be on the bluntest end of the stick that smacks this down...

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:28 | 4587020 trader1
trader1's picture

nice catch.

November 10, 2013 5:12 pm

Franklin Templeton takes $5bn Ukraine debt gamble



February 20, 2014 6:17 pm

Franklin Templeton’s Ukraine bond bet in the red


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:15 | 4586957 litemine
litemine's picture

Did they find Gas or Oil under Detroit?

Is that why they want everyone out?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:17 | 4586967 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Idiots. Might as well send that billion directly to Putin, and save a few brief stops along the way.

And Detroit has to get the money somewhere. After all, what is the property tax on a house appraised for eleven dollars?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:02 | 4587172 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Probably a thousand a year.  Ha ha ha.  maybe.  really?


They could sell the Belle Isle Bridge!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:24 | 4587003 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Just simply more proof the "America" was taken over some time ago.

I really don't see why states like Texas and Utah bother sticking around at this point.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:33 | 4587043 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Same reason they both keep gold:  Tradition.  :-)

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:54 | 4587749 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

They are still getting more benefit from this system than leaving for a new system (sucking this one dry). Once this well is dry, they will be saddling up their pony and moving on.....

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:24 | 4587006 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

Hazardess duty, I hope the guys shuttin off the water get body armor.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:26 | 4587012 10mm
10mm's picture

Comparing foreign aid to no paying utility bills is a bit of a stretch. The aid from one broke dick country to another. But hey, it's pitcher's and catchers now.


Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:29 | 4587024 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

The sad part is that if Obama ran a third time, he'd win by a landslide in Detroit.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 18:33 | 4587650 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Sad? It's simple tribalism. You all better figure out right quick what tribe you're in - or someone else soon will provide a sharp lesson.

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 06:27 | 4589215 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Not allowed have a tribe if you're White.  That's HATE baby.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:30 | 4587029 headhunt
headhunt's picture

No pity for Detroit and their sponging, parasitic unions.

Turn off the water, gas, electric and plow it under, you reap what you sow.

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 01:16 | 4588962 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

what better place & time to start a real-live enactment of The Road.

Good thing Detroit was already in stellar condition to enter such a state... oh wait...

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:33 | 4587038 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

oh the humanity. The chillrens will die of thirst. Free Water for Detroit.  Just use your Obomber phone to call your Section-8 rep or Welfare counselor. Just dial 1-8//-FUK-WITY....

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:57 | 4587047 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Poor saps in Detroit.  They need to start an insurgency or open up some insolvent banks -- that will bring an aid package....

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:39 | 4587076 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

It's OK, it's fake money.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:41 | 4587086 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Maybe they should get rid of some of the government leeches that work in Detroit.  And cut their salaries in half so they can join the REST of the populace as broke.  Soon the people will understand that the people who are telling us what the problems are, ARE the problem.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:42 | 4587092 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

There goes the car wash employess!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:47 | 4587114 Cow
Cow's picture

George Bush doesn't care about black people

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:51 | 4587133 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

He cares more about black americans than Obama ever will care for any american. Obama sees black americans as voting pawns to be conned.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:47 | 4587115 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Detroit Is not worth a soilent green factory.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:55 | 4587138 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Our war is with the FED and the Globalists in Washington D.C. it is not with Russia. I think that is what the article hints at.

Wish I were running for a political position but we don't have politicians on q99x2.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:55 | 4587157 Jethro
Jethro's picture

If Putin has a sense of humor, he'd loan Detroit the $260 Million. 

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:15 | 4587256 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

you know what he really should do is set up a web site that allows residents of Detroit who are behind on their utilities to apply for relief grants directly from Moscow...

the address could be Putincares.RU.GOV

there tag line could be something like this..."while Washington only cares about bailing out the banksters, liver eating terrorists and neo nazi fascist governments, Moscow is here to help you."

I give it three weeks before there would be a referendum circling the motor city to become the newest Russian Federation territory.




Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:19 | 4587271 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Lolz, kinda like Chavez' Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:23 | 4587290 Jethro
Jethro's picture

The only question would be if Russia would allow Communists to join....

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:25 | 4587300 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Except a check from his bank can't be processed cuz its sanctioned.

Tue, 03/25/2014 - 01:14 | 4588958 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

And that's what would double the lulz considering where the money is going from America, to Ukraine.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 16:57 | 4587161 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Don't worry John Kerry says we're rich bitchez.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:05 | 4587199 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

As an American taxpayer (aka fool) I would rather pay Gazprom the money than pay for all those fucking leeches in Detroit.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:08 | 4587223 mydogisprettier...
mydogisprettierthanyou's picture

Forward komrades!

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:15 | 4587257 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

False dilemma.  Some of us don't want to pay Ukrainian debt or pay Detroit's tax bills, thank you very much.

In most US cities, the water bill is just another name for municipal tax bill.  Unlike sales taxes or property taxes, might only take a quorum at town hall (or a completely separate water board) to change retail rate structure and fees.

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:16 | 4587260 Debugas
Debugas's picture

the aim is to reduce world population to below 1 billion people


what part of this policy dont you understand ?

Mon, 03/24/2014 - 17:29 | 4587310 Dugald
Dugald's picture


Let them drink Soda.........!

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