Goodbye Polar Vortex; Hello Solar Vortex - El Nino Is Coming

Tyler Durden's picture

Thirsty Californians are pinning their hopes that worried farmers in Australia are right. After months of the Polar Vortex dumping snow on the US east coast and drought on the west coast (and crushing the American Dream of an 'escape velocity' economy), The US Climate Prediction Center issued an El Nino watch bring hope of a big rain year for California, floods in South America, and dismal droughts in Southeast Asia. The Australian Bureau of Meteorology said an El Nino could occur during the southern hemisphere winter from May-July. Increased sea surface temperatures suggest an increasing chance of the global weather phenomenon and the great rotation from a Polar Vortex to a Solar Vortex.


Aussie Farmers are already struggling and this could be a major problem:

Climate models show an increased chance of a 2014 El Nino weather event, said Australia's bureau of meteorology, leading to possible droughts in Southeast Asia and Australia and floods in South America, which could hit key rice, wheat and sugar crops.


The Australian Bureau of Meteorology (BOM) said an El Nino could occur during the southern hemisphere winter, May-July, with Australian cattle and grain farmers already struggling with drought which has cut production.


The last El Nino in 2009/10 was categorised weak to moderate. The most severe El Nino was in 1998 when freak weather killed more than 2,000 people and caused billions of dollars in damage to crops, infrastructure and mines in Australia and other parts of Asia.


"The latest climate model survey by the shows that the tropical Pacific is very likely to warm in the coming months, with most models showing sea surface temperatures reaching El Nino thresholds during the southern hemisphere winter," the BOM said in an emailed statement.

But Californians are exuberant at the possibility...

The U.S. Climate Prediction Center issued an El Niño watch this month, citing a 52 percent chance of Pacific Ocean waters warming and creating - possibly - a wetter-than-average winter.



Historically, El Niño conditions have been associated with the state's biggest rain years, including the winters of 1997-98 and 1982-83, which brought fatal mudslides to the Santa Cruz Mountains and devastating surf to the Southern California coast. In 1997-98, San Francisco was pounded by a record 47.2 inches of rain.

But while El Niño boosts the odds of rain, it provides no guarantees, especially if the ocean warming isn't extreme.

Typically, El Niño brings drier weather to the western Pacific, in places such as Australia and Indonesia, and wetter weather to the Americas, he said.


The effects vary considerably with the strength of El Niño - and can differ from place to place.


For example, weak to moderate El Niño conditions have brought more rain to Southern California, while doing little for the northern part of the state. But a strong El Niño historically has increased rainfall across the entire state.


"If that gets locked in place, it can lead to storm after storm after storm," said John Monteverdi, a meteorology professor at San Francisco State University.

Meanwhile not everyone is exuberant as The India Times reports:

India's weather office is snarling at these forecasters and accusing them of conspiring to rattle the country's commodities and stock markets.

We are sure this will provide global meteorolgists and economists plenty of ammo for their hockey-stick recoveries to miss expectations...

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90's Child's picture

This shit is trivial.

Mr Pink's picture

I don't care what they call it as long as Wisconsin thaws out by July

knukles's picture

Rain for the golf courses!

chumbawamba's picture

Hooray for Fuckyoushima radiation + El Nino!

I am Chumbawamba.

Surly Bear's picture

I want to be warm. It was fucking 28 here today.

Rick Blaine's picture

I was living in San Jose (Kali...not Costa Rica) during the '97-'98 El Nino...after moving there in '95...and although I can't believe that state hasn't imploded yet, I will say the south Bay Area has damn near the perfect climate.  Yeah, you usually get a decent amount of rain during the winter...but it's USUALLY broken up by some nice weather here and there... 

However, all I remember from '97-'98 (besides getting hammered a few too many times) is a grey sky and a light, misty rain...pretty much every day...for what seemed like six months.

Yeah, definitely not "severe" weather by any standards...but the contrast in weather between that year and most of the other years I lived there was amazing.

Disenchanted's picture

But what about the unicorns shitting skittles vortex?

You can tell you're in one by the pink cotton candy clouds and lollipop raindrops.

Ocean22's picture

Ya but then HARRP makes it change more and people die.

Flakmeister's picture

Just think what it will be able to do when/if it gets turned back on....

jimmytorpedo's picture

C'mon Knuk's, the golf courses always get water.

At least the kind Barry plays on.

It's the radioactive Kalifornia vegetables I'm cheering for.

Mr Pink's picture

Thanks! That was hilarious. A couple of nights ago I was walking to my car and heard screaming and it was a couple in a convertible Chrysler driving was about 20 degrees

Anusocracy's picture

Here in Mid-Michigan a new record was set of 105 consecutive days with one inch or more of snow on the ground.

February averaged 9.2 degrees per day below average.

Through the 25th of March, it is averaging 10 degrees below normal.

Intoxicologist's picture

At my house, my thermometer registered 78 days below zero.

And I wonder why all the brandy.....

A Nanny Moose's picture

This is all irrelevant. The Bureau of Lies and Shit, will just blame it all on weather, as always.

Anusocracy's picture


That is assuming you are not senile and your thermometer was in the freezer.

Intoxicologist's picture

Funny.  I was driving home from work one night last month.  My windshield cracked for no apparent reason except it was 30 below outside.  Not funny.

MeMongo's picture

So this will be pushing all this Fukushima fallout shit exactly where!

Keyser's picture

SoCal, Chile, Peru, Colombia, Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Mexico..........


DoChenRollingBearing's picture

No El Niño means LOTS of rain in N Peru and fewer hurricanes in the USA.


fonestar!  Need your help here!  No one can sole the QR question (0.05 BTC free prize)...:

chumbawamba's picture

Just give it to fonestar.  He needs it to buy new underwear after bitcoin took a dump in all the ones he had.

I am Chumbawamba.

chumbawamba's picture

No, I'm conducting more hands-on field experiments so I can speak from experience.  I owe it to my readers.

Thanks for reminding me there are people out there still interested.  I have pre-trial tomorrow.  After that, I'll see about getting back on top of this.  The time is ripe for the rule of law to make a comeback.

I am Chumbawamba.

MeMongo's picture

Haha ron, the best part that ponestar will "fully" get is "stack em deep"one thing fonestar totally understands is stacking that shit deep....hahaha!

johngaltfla's picture

We love fewer hurricanes. My butt still hurts from the last insurance increase.

Xibalba's picture

life is but a breath.  vanity.  

trivial indeed. 

Atomizer's picture

If only the UN could conrol the jet stream and Sun CME's. /sarc

Camper Van Beethoven - Pictures Of Matchstick

knukles's picture

No cigars, but close with Chemtrails and HAARP

RevRex's picture

Duuuuuude, they're NEO-ConTrails....get with the program

Atomizer's picture


Scalar wave weather modification technology. Noticed it during hurricane Ivan. Once we started exploited repeated causes of hurricane activity, the US government decommissioned the website. All backups are on a hard drive somewhere. It was just like clockwork. The red imaging scalar wave kept hitting Florida and New Orleans, the storm would hit days after. During that time, we were in Iraq. was openly bragging about the new weather technology they were using on Iraqis to combat the war on terror.

angryBuddhist's picture

So, will this mean we can still blame the weather for all the damage that the Fed and the administration have done so far, or is that no longer an option? I'm so confused . . .

EatYourCornTakeyourPill's picture

Great news. Glad to see organic farmers may catch a break.

Bunga Bunga's picture

... especially when the get more of that radioactive shit into their produce.

Yen Cross's picture

   Too bad the wet season for Cali is about to end soon. There might be some gloom but no so much rain. Personally I think we're in for a dry hot summer, and it reminds me a lot of the early and mid 80's.

machineh's picture

... while New York accelerates from snowpack to fried-eggs-on-sidewalk in six seconds.

No comfort for the wicked!

joego1's picture

Raining here in Nor Cal for the entire week. Could stay wet until June.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Perhaps....based on norms. If climate is changing, how does normalization apply to <200 years of climate records?

Personally I think we're in for a dry hot summer

Supporting data please?

it reminds me a lot of the early and mid 80's.

I do recall a warm LA summers in '83 (US Festival), '84 (Orympics). Weather is otherwise June gloom..often extended to July and August.

surf0766's picture

Wasn't there a prediciton of a warmer less snowy winter in the east. They where thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss


knukles's picture

Yes, well, you must realize just how unpredictable global warming... er, climate change is...

Nue's picture

Yeah the climate change people even predicted that you couldn't trust their predictions because thats just how unpredictable climate change is. Or at least thats what their saying now that all their predictions didn't come true.

Flakmeister's picture

Care to list them for us?

Here is one from 1975 that worked better than just about anything predicted about anything back then:


There is a pdf link there to the orginal paper from 1975 if you are so inclined....

detached.amusement's picture

cmon dude, you trot out that 1970s prediction and say LOOK! SEE!  How far off is that!?!


and then stay mum about damn near every prediction since being worse, worse, and worse


yes, even a broken clock is right twice a day.


your 70s prediction is right by coincidence, and not by rigorous execution of fundamentals.

Flakmeister's picture

Look at what the cat dragged in...

Save your breath....