Fact Or Fiction: G-7 Unable To Get Deposit Back On "G-8 Summer Getaway" T-Shirts

Tyler Durden's picture

THE HAGUE - Shortly after suspending Russia’s membership in the exclusive coalition of industrialized nations, the United States and the six other wealthy nations that compose the newly renamed Group of Seven reportedly found themselves unable to get their deposit back on a set of “2014 G8 Summer Getaway” T-shirts they had ordered for the body’s scheduled summit in June.


We placed an order for a box of medium- and large-sized crewneck tees back in February, but when we called to cancel this morning, the guy at the printing shop said the deposit is final and they don’t do any refunds,” said UK Prime Minister David Cameron, who explained that the forum of major global economies lost $80 on the order, which included matching yellow shirts featuring a stylized G8 logo and a pair of palm trees as well as a dozen custom-stitched “Scorchin’ In Sochi” hats.

Of course, Putin never gave us his $10 share, so we’re all going to have to cover that too. We’ll make sure everyone pays upfront when we order our new shirts, though we haven’t decided yet whether we want them to say ‘Brussels Bash ’14’ or ‘G7: Summer of Heaven.’ Plus, [Italian Prime Minister] Matteo [Renzi] is still really lobbying for us to pay extra and get tie-dyed ones.”

Cameron added that the world leaders were also left scrambling to revise their schedule of events for the upcoming meeting as the group’s downsizing had left German Chancellor Angela Merkel without a partner to participate in their annual three-legged race.


Source: The Onion

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Arrowflinger's picture

Collectors might like the uniqueness of it.

Most appropriate, it is yellow.

Ahmeexnal's picture

Why is Cameron worrying. Everyone knows he likes to dress up like a girl.

El Oregonian's picture

Well, who cares. They were probably made in china anyways.

Joe Davola's picture

Putin pwnd us and all we got was this lousy t-shirt

lordylord's picture

Does the "getaway" refer to government leaders running away with our wealth or fleeing the panic and collapse coming soon?

666's picture

Poor planning: I doubt Merkel would fit in a medium or large shirt.

old naughty's picture

Dear PM,

I submit the problem can be solved by:

Ordering eight stick-ons,

Seven "7"s to cover the "8".

And the eight "You owe us $20.50" to stick on the 8th crew-neck; then fedex to Kremlin.

And perhaps the Exchequer may be kind enough to commit another $80.


N.B. 50 cents to cover interests for not paying in advance.




MontgomeryScott's picture

The problem's been solved.

Putin is buying up all the shirts.

He's sending them to the silkscreener, who is going to put one of those red circles with a line over each graphic. On the back, He's gonna print 'G-20 Summer Smackdown', with a stylized pic of Putin vs. a bear with the head of Obama, and then send them all back to Cameron, complete with a condolence card.

strannick's picture

The new Group of Seven should go paint and sell some Canadian landscapes to get back their deposit.

Froman's picture

These have $49.99 Collector's Limited Edition written all over them!  Call the Sham-Wow guy and cue up the informercial.  This is going to blow up HUGE!

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Obscure Group of 7 joke!   Took me a while, and I am edumacated Canadian.

cifo's picture

Probably only a Canadian gets it.


msamour's picture

I laughed so hard when I saw the "Group of 7" painter joke. No one else got it for the longest time too. Really sneaky...


msamour's picture

I saw your post earlier this afternoon, and got in trouble with my boss because I started laughing out loud. I couldn't believe no body else got it for a while. Good reference!

Canadian Dirtlump's picture

much like the tshirts of losers in the superbowl and world series, they will end up in african villages.

Shad_ow's picture

Send the "seven" with them and we can all dance in the streets.

cougar_w's picture

Those should be collectables now! Where can I get one?

Oh wait ... never mind.

chemystical's picture

i gotta call b.s. on the article.  since when have these pampered parasites given a shit about anything even approaching fiduciary responsibility with our money?

inevitablecollapse's picture

was referring to the t-shirt shop that declined to refund the money - love it

Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Just ship the G8 shirts with a green Sharpie - problem solved.

Arrowflinger's picture

The cabal shrank before the T-Shirt. Fading away comes next.

NoDecaf's picture

Made in China T-Shirts! LOL

Black Forest's picture

Too expensive. Myanmar or Vietnam, I guess.


Hungrypirana's picture
Also by Onion:  White House Sends Obama To 3-Day Management Seminar At Washington Marriott
inevitablecollapse's picture

i'm pretty sure that putin didn't need merkel as a partner to win the 3-legged race

Yen Cross's picture

     That's the problem with douchewad politicians. They have no concept of RISK, even when it's self imposed!

BGO's picture

The idiots should have left Putin in if for no other reason because 7 is an unlucky number. Maybe they should now call themselves the G-Craps.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

I am surprised that high school graduates employment is not higher with ideas like this?

Colonel Klink's picture

Can I pitch in for some carbon fiber ratcheting neckties?

And this scene (from Law Abiding Citizen, same as the necktie) sums up what every Constitution and oath violating person in government deserves (1 minute long):


Smegley Wanxalot's picture

I don't even want to think about a G-69 with Mutti.

cougar_w's picture

Onion 4 the win. Those guys are nuts.

kurt's picture

Load them into one of those stadium air cannons and shoot them into the sun.

WhiteWolf's picture

They needed to complete the outfit with one patches, swords and a bandana.  Dress Jack Lee in a Speedo,I hear he had some prostate problems.

NOTaREALmerican's picture

Seems like they need a name that won't change.  Google can't handle this g8 to g7 to g9 stuff.

How about we just drop the number:   The GEE's?    Gee countries?     Gee spots? 

I donno,  gotta be something.

Black Warrior Waterdog's picture

Soon to be "What the fuck is G-"?

Yen Cross's picture

 The G 8?  (7)  Venue. http://www.lougherneresort.com/

 Hopefully those pikers will bury themselves in the sandtraps...

ebworthen's picture

Oh man, one of those T-Shirts would'a looked good on the Girlfriend.

bilejones's picture

They look even better off......

BearTrap's picture

How about replacing Russia with Ukraine? If they liked their G-8 T-shirts, they would be able to keep them.

With $27bn looming on the horizon Ukraine will have no problem to pay their $10 share.

ShrNfr's picture

Putin is also demanding his $5 bn down payment on the Ukraine back.

esum's picture

they also canceled the condoms with the quarter on the tip

engraved with 


Jackagain's picture

I want on of those in size large....I'll pay double.