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Fact Or Fiction: G-7 Unable To Get Deposit Back On "G-8 Summer Getaway" T-Shirts

Tyler Durden's picture




 

THE HAGUE - Shortly after suspending Russia’s membership in the exclusive coalition of industrialized nations, the United States and the six other wealthy nations that compose the newly renamed Group of Seven reportedly found themselves unable to get their deposit back on a set of “2014 G8 Summer Getaway” T-shirts they had ordered for the body’s scheduled summit in June.

 

We placed an order for a box of medium- and large-sized crewneck tees back in February, but when we called to cancel this morning, the guy at the printing shop said the deposit is final and they don’t do any refunds,” said UK Prime Minister David Cameron, who explained that the forum of major global economies lost $80 on the order, which included matching yellow shirts featuring a stylized G8 logo and a pair of palm trees as well as a dozen custom-stitched “Scorchin’ In Sochi” hats.

Of course, Putin never gave us his $10 share, so we’re all going to have to cover that too. We’ll make sure everyone pays upfront when we order our new shirts, though we haven’t decided yet whether we want them to say ‘Brussels Bash ’14’ or ‘G7: Summer of Heaven.’ Plus, [Italian Prime Minister] Matteo [Renzi] is still really lobbying for us to pay extra and get tie-dyed ones.”

Cameron added that the world leaders were also left scrambling to revise their schedule of events for the upcoming meeting as the group’s downsizing had left German Chancellor Angela Merkel without a partner to participate in their annual three-legged race.

 

Source: The Onion

 

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Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:45 | 4599966 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

capitalism 

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:47 | 4599977 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

No. It's collectivism.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:49 | 4599983 Arrowflinger
Arrowflinger's picture

Collectors might like the uniqueness of it.

Most appropriate, it is yellow.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:49 | 4599986 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Why is Cameron worrying. Everyone knows he likes to dress up like a girl.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:59 | 4600002 Manthong
Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:05 | 4600059 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Well, who cares. They were probably made in china anyways.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:12 | 4600075 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Putin pwnd us and all we got was this lousy t-shirt

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:56 | 4600222 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Does the "getaway" refer to government leaders running away with our wealth or fleeing the panic and collapse coming soon?

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 18:07 | 4600457 666
666's picture

Poor planning: I doubt Merkel would fit in a medium or large shirt.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 21:28 | 4601132 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Dear PM,

I submit the problem can be solved by:

Ordering eight stick-ons,

Seven "7"s to cover the "8".

And the eight "You owe us $20.50" to stick on the 8th crew-neck; then fedex to Kremlin.

And perhaps the Exchequer may be kind enough to commit another $80.

 

N.B. 50 cents to cover interests for not paying in advance.

 

 

 

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 08:46 | 4602042 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

The problem's been solved.

Putin is buying up all the shirts.

He's sending them to the silkscreener, who is going to put one of those red circles with a line over each graphic. On the back, He's gonna print 'G-20 Summer Smackdown', with a stylized pic of Putin vs. a bear with the head of Obama, and then send them all back to Cameron, complete with a condolence card.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:54 | 4600005 strannick
strannick's picture

The new Group of Seven should go paint and sell some Canadian landscapes to get back their deposit.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:02 | 4600041 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Ebay

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:28 | 4600304 Froman
Froman's picture

These have $49.99 Collector's Limited Edition written all over them!  Call the Sham-Wow guy and cue up the informercial.  This is going to blow up HUGE!

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 18:36 | 4600563 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Obscure Group of 7 joke!   Took me a while, and I am edumacated Canadian.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:08 | 4600064 cifo
cifo's picture

Probably only a Canadian gets it.

 

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 19:10 | 4600661 msamour
msamour's picture

I laughed so hard when I saw the "Group of 7" painter joke. No one else got it for the longest time too. Really sneaky...

 

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 19:12 | 4600664 msamour
msamour's picture

I saw your post earlier this afternoon, and got in trouble with my boss because I started laughing out loud. I couldn't believe no body else got it for a while. Good reference!

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:50 | 4599989 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

much like the tshirts of losers in the superbowl and world series, they will end up in african villages.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 20:09 | 4600874 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

Send the "seven" with them and we can all dance in the streets.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:49 | 4599985 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Those should be collectables now! Where can I get one?

Oh wait ... never mind.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:54 | 4600216 chemystical
chemystical's picture

i gotta call b.s. on the article.  since when have these pampered parasites given a shit about anything even approaching fiduciary responsibility with our money?

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:44 | 4600383 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

was referring to the t-shirt shop that declined to refund the money - love it

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:45 | 4599968 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Just ship the G8 shirts with a green Sharpie - problem solved.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 19:36 | 4600739 Nigh Eve
Nigh Eve's picture

"G8 - 1"

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:47 | 4599978 Arrowflinger
Arrowflinger's picture

The cabal shrank before the T-Shirt. Fading away comes next.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:53 | 4599996 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

Made in China T-Shirts! LOL

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:24 | 4600116 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

Too expensive. Myanmar or Vietnam, I guess.

 

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:53 | 4599998 Hungrypirana
Hungrypirana's picture
Also by Onion:  White House Sends Obama To 3-Day Management Seminar At Washington Marriott
Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:54 | 4600004 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

i'm pretty sure that putin didn't need merkel as a partner to win the 3-legged race

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:06 | 4600061 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

In your face!

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:57 | 4600014 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     That's the problem with douchewad politicians. They have no concept of RISK, even when it's self imposed!

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:03 | 4600040 BGO
BGO's picture

The idiots should have left Putin in if for no other reason because 7 is an unlucky number. Maybe they should now call themselves the G-Craps.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:03 | 4600044 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I am surprised that high school graduates employment is not higher with ideas like this?

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:10 | 4600055 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Can I pitch in for some carbon fiber ratcheting neckties?

And this scene (from Law Abiding Citizen, same as the necktie) sums up what every Constitution and oath violating person in government deserves (1 minute long):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjbRnmJrWIQ

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:04 | 4600056 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

I don't even want to think about a G-69 with Mutti.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:04 | 4600057 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

That's G14 classified!

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:01 | 4600234 chemystical
chemystical's picture

+1 for the Rush Hour reference ;)

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:05 | 4600058 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Onion 4 the win. Those guys are nuts.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:13 | 4600078 kurt
kurt's picture

Load them into one of those stadium air cannons and shoot them into the sun.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:13 | 4600080 WhiteWolf
WhiteWolf's picture

They needed to complete the outfit with one patches, swords and a bandana.  Dress Jack Lee in a Speedo,I hear he had some prostate problems.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:15 | 4600087 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Seems like they need a name that won't change.  Google can't handle this g8 to g7 to g9 stuff.

How about we just drop the number:   The GEE's?    Gee countries?     Gee spots? 

I donno,  gotta be something.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:20 | 4600102 Black Warrior W...
Black Warrior Waterdog's picture

Soon to be "What the fuck is G-"?

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:28 | 4600111 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The G 8?  (7)  Venue. http://www.lougherneresort.com/

 Hopefully those pikers will bury themselves in the sandtraps...

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:30 | 4600138 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Oh man, one of those T-Shirts would'a looked good on the Girlfriend.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 21:11 | 4601087 bilejones
bilejones's picture

They look even better off......

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:37 | 4600165 BearTrap
BearTrap's picture

How about replacing Russia with Ukraine? If they liked their G-8 T-shirts, they would be able to keep them.

With $27bn looming on the horizon Ukraine will have no problem to pay their $10 share.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:45 | 4600189 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Putin is also demanding his $5 bn down payment on the Ukraine back.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:06 | 4600245 esum
esum's picture

they also canceled the condoms with the quarter on the tip

engraved with 

IT YOU CANT COME...CALL

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:30 | 4600336 Jackagain
Jackagain's picture

I want on of those in size large....I'll pay double.

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:48 | 4600405 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Can't wait until the all kiss and make up.

 

Then we can look forward to the Global (re-united) 8 T-shirts

 

"Gr8!"

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 20:09 | 4600877 db51
db51's picture

W T F....These stupid fucktards blowing taxpayer money on damn T-Shirts.   Fricking assholes.   G8 Getaway....Nothing but a high roller convention on everyone elses's dime.   

 

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 22:11 | 4601256 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

You were faster than I was. Your comment was perfect. Mommas in America were discouraged in a song many years ago from letting their children grow up to be cowboys, it appears to have been a reasonable decision.

Today after viewing the lifestyles associated with many careers paths, politics and the route of so called "public service" seems to offer much potential. A career in politics can grant you a lifestyle where you rub elbows with the ultra wealthy and the country's most powerful titans of business and industry. More on this subject below.

http://brucewilds.blogspot.com/2013/01/encourage-your-children-to-become...

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 20:35 | 4600969 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

In good old G-8 Frau Angela like to play Snow White. And with the new dwarf Mateo it could be really really fun.

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 07:17 | 4601849 de3de8
de3de8's picture

They will go to good use in South Africa

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