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Dear Unnamed "Significant Financial Institution": The DOJ Has Some Very Bad News For You

Tyler Durden's picture


Looks like someone didn't pay their annual "cost of conducting criminal business" bribe:

Fox Business' Charlie Gasparino leaks a hint that it may be, surprise, an HFT firm (not really, considering Goldman is now actively bashing HFT itself and promoting its own-supported IEX exchange, a move that has left many stunned)"

So who is it?  And please free Jon Corzine already!


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Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:19 | 4611081 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Jamie Dimond retired right?  So then the real question is his whereabouts then?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:28 | 4611132 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

probably on his own private island sexually assaulting under age slaves.


either way I like the notion, but to think the gesture is nobe and based in the rule of law is probably lunacy.


That being the case, the tweet, if from an official government source strikes me as unprofessional ( again I appreciate the notion ).


Also, in looking at the twitter feed, the guy pictured there needs to get a round of asshole bleach on each eyelid. What the fuck.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:35 | 4611159 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Corzine-Weiner 2016.  Immunity awaits.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:47 | 4611197 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

"You can expect that before long a significant financial institution will be charged with a felony or be made to plead guilty to a felony"

Okay... my guess then is that a TBTF will be charged with a felony,

The DOJ will then almost certainly conduct the prosecution in such a manner that could only result in a not guilty verdict and yet Justice has still been served.

They call it a Show Trial!   See?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:48 | 4611214 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Screw the DOJ.  Just send in Max Keiser -

Max Keiser beats Jamie Dimon Banker off his show -

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4611222 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

Does that mean the entire organization will be penalized since companies are individuals now?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:51 | 4611230 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

OK, which TBTF did not contribute to the Obozo campaign?


Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:02 | 4611279 Steve in Greensboro
Steve in Greensboro's picture

If they had any ethics, the SDNY would investigate the Federal Reserve.  There is no more economically destructive financial institution than the Fed.  But of course both the SDNY and the Fed are part of the same total state, so the Fed is safe.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:08 | 4611305 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

 ==> SACKS   ???
 ==> J P & M ???

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:45 | 4611458 quintago
quintago's picture

bribe or tribe?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:37 | 4611311 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Whisper rumor that e*trade baby has been taken into custody after a surreal 4 1/2 hour heavily armed standoff with SWAT, where he was heard repeatedly yelling "you'll never take me alive, midget-donkey porn SEC watchers!"

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:28 | 4611584 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Much better that than have them shred the constitution any more by going after MFGlobal. It's clearly double jeopardy to go bankrupt because your clients' fund vaporize AND THEN get charged with a felony because your clients' funds vaporized.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:50 | 4611226 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Fucking ridiculous that press releases now come in the form of Twatter??

Why not just use Teen Magazine?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:56 | 4611254 Cursive
Cursive's picture


This Luddite statement coming from Major Bitcoin?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:15 | 4611336 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

If he is not bringing up Bitcoin then why are you?


He gets an uparrow from me in that his assessment is correct. You get the Downarrow as you cannot agree with the truth which he exposes....because of the messinger...not because of the substance of the truth.


Basing your actions on personalities rather than principles just serves to demonstrate a lack of depth in your thinking and character.


(I was not, and I am not, a Bitcoin proponent.)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:45 | 4611456 Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

Bam... with the right hand.  Let me double down on that junk arrow.  I'm no Bitcoin bug either, but fonestar has always seemed a bit like Bruce Lee  in Fists of Fury... taking on all comers.  At once.

Just sayin'.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:55 | 4611483 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Miles Ahead

but fonestar has always seemed a bit like Bruce Lee  in Fists of Fury... taking on all comers.  At once.

Geez, don't get carried away with you fantasy there, buddy.  Anyway, "Tall Tom" says that you're not supposed to bring personalities into your decision making process, so you should probably discuss that "Tall Tom."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:06 | 4611517 Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

My support was for Tall Tom's to the point right cross.

As for fonestar, I don't know his personality - I'm more results oriented.  And you gotta give credit where credit is due: no one has been able to lay a glove on him at least since I've been on here. 

Now I know Bruce Lee didn't use gloves, and there's where my analogy starts to unravel. But if I'm not mistaken Kareem Abdul Jabbar did have on some kind of gloves in Game Of Death so maybe I can turn this thing around somehow...  give me a moment.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:18 | 4611526 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Miles Ahead

My support was for Tall Tom's to the point right cross.


And you gotta give credit where credit is due: no one has been able to lay a glove on him at least since I've been on here. 

He's visited the canvas one too many times to even be allowed back in the debate ring.  And, finally, you do realize that he confused a "tweet" with a press release, don't you?  Of course, I expect nothing less embarrassing from fonestar.



Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:12 | 4612073 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Hats off to fonestar, at least he fought his way into Fight Club, and got kick around pretty hard there for awhile..not saying I agree with everything he has to say, but he does have a little grit in him...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:06 | 4611467 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Tall Tom

Are you always this self-righteously bitchy?  Maybe the irony of fonestar (or you) using the Internet to complain about the use of new technology is lost on yourself.  BTW, dipshits, the twitter message in question is not even a "press release," so shuffle back to the colective hole that you crawled out of.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:05 | 4611292 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

That's Fucking hilarious coming from you Phonestar, evolution of fiat currency is Da'Bomb.

But the evolution of transmitting information is "Teen Magazine".

Now, Go Fuck yourself with a roll of Bitcoins, you douchbag hypocrite.

+1 for making me laugh

Disclosure, I do not have twitter account, and could care less for the platform and how it's used.  


Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:54 | 4611478 Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

Now, all lines considered, this has to be the dumbest comment on ZH ever.

Bitcoin is evolution of fiat?

Twitter is evolution of transmitting information?  Whew... what's the ticker symbol... I need to get me some.

And lastly, you could care less nor do you use it, but care enough to give fonestar a piece of your mind... with extreme prejudice.

Casual medical diagnosis here is the evolution of something else that has been transmitted.  In a manner not at all unlike the suggestion re; the "roll of Bitcoins".

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:10 | 4611314 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture


That was some bad acting...MAX..just bring in Kimbo Slice. For a couple hundred paper gs per punch..Kimbo will ask your questions via ear microphone instruction to chosen shill. This should be the public trial. Full Idocracy.

Every time theres a lie. Kimbo gets paid.

This will be the best and most viewed pay per view ...IN HISTORY!!! (not to be confused with what really happened)


Ill take my cut in silver.


Silver Bitchez!!



Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:39 | 4611429 Freddie
Freddie's picture

We all know it will not be Goldman Sachs.  Isn't the DOJ part of the Dept of Treasury?  It would be like the DOJ prosecuting itself if they went after Goldman.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:39 | 4612176 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

"We all know it will not be Goldman Sachs."


Yeah, DAMN IT!  I'm getting real tired of that gloating arrogant bald fuck who claims he's "doing God's work".

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:40 | 4611811 War_is_Peace
War_is_Peace's picture

OR...they will settle for what the DOJ considers an acceptable sum.  No due process of law here, folks.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4611217 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Internet remembers, guillotine never forgets."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:04 | 4611290 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

I havent spent much time on twitter. Do all the shills really just sit around a suck eachother off all day? That fox feeds a good place to start a lynching list.

SILVER!!!! FUCK YOU JAMIE DIMON (and reptile fascozionist demons)


Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:23 | 4611561 No More Bubbles
No More Bubbles's picture

Jamie Dimond retired right?

NO, he has not, and his name is DIMON.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:45 | 4611637 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

My guess is the firm about to go public with only 1 day of trading losses in the past 1000 or so...



Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:21 | 4611092 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

oookkayyy, who didn't pay the bag man Friday?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:32 | 4611147 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

His name better not be "Putin."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:37 | 4611175 Cursive
Cursive's picture


They may have paid, but with all of the heat coming down on the FIRE sector, somebody's going to have to "take one for the team."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:52 | 4611229 hobopants
hobopants's picture

"Did you send out those tweets? Good that should show em, case closed"

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:21 | 4611094 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

AFAIK, there's only one significant financial institution in NYC.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:22 | 4611095 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Bankers: "We'll pay almost anything as long as we can say we are admitting to nothing."

Law Enforcement: "Ok." (as they count the cash and take the front row tickets)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:22 | 4611096 bobnoxy
bobnoxy's picture

Gotta be an early April Fool's joke, right?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:23 | 4611098 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Stop picking on Jon Corzine !!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:05 | 4611291 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

The Obama administration is gonna bitch-slap those HFTs with a $500,000 fine against the billions they've stolen and that will teach them a lesson they'll never forget.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:49 | 4611470 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

They will be stinging so much from the bitch-slap that they will underwrite the Hillary/2016 campaign.....

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:23 | 4611100 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

JT Marlin.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:23 | 4611101 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

How can someone "be made" to plead guilty?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:25 | 4611114 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Threaten their family

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:34 | 4611156 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

ummmm.....that can have the opposite effect actually.

this "family" better not have a name either.
or "be connected to a visceral historical reality."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:24 | 4611108 digitlman
digitlman's picture

Talk is cheap.  Let's see some fucking handcuffs.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:29 | 4611136 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

Fuck the handcuffs, roll in the guillotines! 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:31 | 4611137 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

so hungry for banker blood had a dupe post.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4611223 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

lol.  Entirely forgiveable.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:33 | 4611152 agstacks
agstacks's picture

Are those Presidential Handcuffs?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:35 | 4611162 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

I will believe it when I see it on the TV because when it's on TV it's real.

Another fucking joke, if the DOJ was going to do anything they would have done it by now.

It's like saying you lost a Boeing 777 and can't find it, everyone knows the score here.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:40 | 4611184 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Im hoping for more rustic stuff...wood, rope, and sharpened metal

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:24 | 4611109 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture


laughable. guess the checks to the "regulators" are late this month. 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:25 | 4611111 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

unrelated but i think worthy...sorry for thread redirect...carry on after review...

MOSCOW, March 30. /ITAR-TASS/. An action in support of bank Rossiya which has decided to work exclusively with the national currency will take place in Moscow on Sunday.

The Golden Symbol of Russian Rouble installation in front of the bank’s office in Perevedensky pereulok in Moscow will symbolize the rouble’s stability and its backing by the country’s gold reserves, the action’s organizers explained to Itar-Tass.

The action is designed to voice support for the Rossiya bank, which is creating a precedent and can make those who have initiated penalties against Russia to feel sorry about their decision.

The bank’s transition to using exclusively the rouble may prove the Russian currency’s viability and independence in world economy.

“Russia, at its present stage of development, should not be dependent on foreign currencies; its internal resources will make its own economy invulnerable to political wheeler dealers,” the action’s organizers said.

The Russian joint-stock bank, AB Rossiya, decided on Friday that it would work only with the national currency to protect its customers from dishonest actions by foreign financial institutions.

“In order to protect the bank’s customers from dishonest actions by foreign financial institutions AB Rossiya has decided to operate only in the domestic market and exclusively with the national currency of the Russian Federation - the rouble,” AB Rossiya said in a statement released on Friday.

“The bank has already notified some U.S. banks that it is closing its correspondence accounts. Similar notifications have been sent to other foreign financial institutions,” the bank said in its statement.

The VTB chief said that Russia should sell domestic products - from weapons to gas and oil - abroad for roubles and buy foreign goods also for roubles.

“Only then are we going to use the advantages of the rouble being a foreign currency in full measure,” Kostin said, adding that AB Rossiya would form a vital part of the Russian banking system and would closely cooperate with other Russian banks, which would also expand the rouble’s use in settlements. “A new imperative motive has appeared for that now,” the VTB chief stressed."


Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:25 | 4611115 madbraz
madbraz's picture

$242 billion in reverse repos today!!! That's not a typo.  


I forecasted this would occur some 2 months ago.


The NY FED can officially be named co-conspirator in aiding and abetting financial institutions and money market funds in window dressing to hide their real balance sheet from unsuspeting investors.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:31 | 4611143 optimator
optimator's picture

Unusual, a reverse ramp at 3:19:59 your predicting.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:38 | 4611179 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Nah, spread out over the next quarter, and then next, and the next, just keep doing until the milk runs dry.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:37 | 4611171 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

officer! arrest that City!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:36 | 4611415 UggSmash
UggSmash's picture

Whoa! Mad! You got a link to that? 

This is where they do that whole, "oh-shit-it's-the-last-day-of-the-quarter-let's-get-some-cash-on-our-books-so-we-don't-look-bankrupt" thing, right?

Wow, they need a quarter-trillion to pretty-up the books? Hot damn..... 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:25 | 4611117 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

It will be like Gangs of New York when Boss Tweed needs to show the masses he is tough on crime so he rounds up a few of the lowest level criminals for public executions.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:27 | 4611127 Cocomaan
Cocomaan's picture

It was hacked, I guarantee it. 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:28 | 4611133 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture



Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:12 | 4611322 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Good laugh.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:29 | 4611135 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

you always pay your protection money to the Obama book club

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:31 | 4611139 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

The "significant financial institution" that committed crimes will pay a large fine.  The "significant individuals" of the signficant financial institution that committed the crime will get bonuses.  Criminality for profit has been institutionalized and it is operating quite smoothly.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:37 | 4611148 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

Hear that, kid with a lemonade stand!?

The world already knows the law doesn't apply to fraud-finance, certainly not enforcement of any uh, laws.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:33 | 4611149 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

They can't be charged if they are hit by a minivan and thrown 150 feet to their death, or thrown from a rooftop, or murdered with a nail gun.  .. or suicide by two gun shots in the back of the head

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:36 | 4611158 Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture

Or accidentally shoot themselves 23 times with a nail gun.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:33 | 4611151 Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture

Is this the felony where not one person is arrested, nor does a single person do any time in prison...thought so

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:38 | 4611181 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

"No one saw it coming!" about to make headlines again.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:34 | 4611153 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Time for another banker "suicide"?  There hasn't been one yet this week.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:37 | 4611172 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Hmmm...Death By Chocolate hasnt been done yet..

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:20 | 4611346 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Ohhh it's happen'n man, Obama is hard at work pushing his chocolate Forward........Won't stop till it's pouring out your ears.


Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:36 | 4611164 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

"Bendover Ben" or "Ole Yeller" going to be indicted by mistake?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:39 | 4611182 agstacks
agstacks's picture

I wonder if this is related to the unusual deaths we've seen recently.  As Nicky Santoro said in Casino, "The Boys back home decided to settle the case out of court, so they sent me."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:41 | 4611192 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Is anyone here really surprised?...

The beginning of the end was 2008!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:43 | 4611198 ChargingHandle
ChargingHandle's picture

In other news,  sales of nail guns have skyrocketed in the empire state. 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4611212 Notsobadwlad
Notsobadwlad's picture

There is a way to fix virtually all of the problems of the world. It is called "NAME and SHAME".

When the US government does something wrong, when bankers do something wrong, police, IRS, NSA, CIA, military, Church, School, EPA, UN, IMF etc. there are always nameless people who have committed the acts many times at the direction of other nameless people.

IMO, it is because these people remain anonymous that they are able to continue their psychopathic and antisocial acts. Their wife, kids, neighbors, pastor, kid's teachers and friends, countryclub buddies do not see the name of the antisocial nameless person in the news NAMED and SHAMED for their acts... whether the acts are technically legal or not.

My guess is that peer pressure would quickly eliminate the antisocial acts if they were NAMED and SHAMED publicly.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:56 | 4611253 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Clinton was "shamed" publicly, and look how that's working out.

No, the answer is Rejecting them and their schemes and Retribution via the gallows.


The Four Rs
Rejection: Quit paying, quit obeying , quit playing
Revolution: It is inevitable, so prepare, as they are.
Retribution: Is there really any place for these sociopaths and criminals in a restored civil and Constitutional society?!
Restoration: Restore the Constitutional republic.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4611219 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I think Jim Willie gets a point if its Deutsche Bank.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:52 | 4611233 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

My bet is on Oakwood Bank out of Oakwood, TX.

Main Street dried up long ago in this small town, located 120 miles southeast of Dallas, with one exception -- a tiny business on the corner, Oakwood State Bank. The bank will turn 100 next year, and you can tell as soon as you walk in the door that it dates back to olden times. The lobby has changed little since when Woodrow Wilson was president.


"Free my guillotine."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:54 | 4611241 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Evil bankers!

They were even involoved in bringing down the Occupy Movement;

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:59 | 4611267 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Did they bring it down?  Or did the establishment just prove that current techniques were a waste of time in a lawless corrupt society, forcing occupy to evolve into something more kinetic.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:54 | 4611243 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

nostradamus also writes

a very small fine they shall pay
and "did nothing wrong" they shall say

now back to your regularly scheduled pre-election campaign donation shakedown

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:56 | 4611247 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

My bet is that it will not be a significant firm.  But that is okay.  Once the DOJ gives an inch, the public will taste the blood and demand more.  The momentum will start.  It will be an epic riot of giving an inch and taking a mile.  That is what I hope anyway.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:13 | 4611329 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

There'll be no momentum.  The sheep will taste blood, shit themselves in fear, and run circles in a panic until their government shepherd and it's border collie DHS rounds them up and tells them what to do.  That's the reaction the blood provokes in sheep.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:08 | 4611705 Blood Spattered...
Blood Spattered Banner's picture

Yep, and if we sheep start getting too restless, they'll hold our 401k's hostage.  That'll shut us the fuck up real quick.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:32 | 4611397 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


I think you mean the NY AG.

EDIT: Okay, I see it is the feds local office in NY.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:14 | 4611721 Blood Spattered...
Blood Spattered Banner's picture

No it won't, that's wishful thinking.  Do you really need to see Dimon's picture with Presidential cufflinks again?

Come on mang...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:57 | 4611255 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Right, and when they plead guilty to felonies their stock will go up how much, 10% at least?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 13:57 | 4611256 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

I think the receptionist who took the intial calls that led to the felony is going to jail.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:03 | 4611283 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Wells Fargo

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:12 | 4611321 armyguy25
armyguy25's picture

What's the source on this? That twitter account doesn't seem to be very official. I highly doubt that is the DoJ official Twitter acct

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:14 | 4611328 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Fortress investment group?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:15 | 4611339 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Wells Fargo - I agree

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:30 | 4611396 Madcow
Madcow's picture

its got to be JP Morgan or BAC - who else?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:32 | 4611403 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Too jew to fail.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:40 | 4611435 Federizzle
Federizzle's picture

I had a fortune cookie that said the same thing...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 14:46 | 4611459 max2205
max2205's picture

Blame it on China

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:22 | 4611558 joego1
joego1's picture

It's etting close to election time we must find a goat to sacrafice at the alter.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:26 | 4611571 BGO
BGO's picture


The DOJ Has Some Very Bad News For You

"As long as no one goes to jail, we're cool with that,"


said every banker in the world.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:36 | 4611606 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

phone call to Jon Corzine :  "who should we name?"  it is all for the 'press' anyways...they were a little slow in the ambassador preference expression... your guidance is appreciated Jon

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:59 | 4611676 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

They'll do it like the drug companies do - make a false subsidiary to plead guilty to the charges, which will spare the parent company any real sanction.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:12 | 4612072 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

like B of A's "good bank/bad bank" meme?  Bad bank's going to bite the dust, while "good bank" survives.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:09 | 4611698 CHX
CHX's picture

all the TBTF banks are fraudulous institutions, so it does not really matter too much in my book which they slauter on the high altar to make a bloody show case. 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:06 | 4611699 Blood Spattered...
Blood Spattered Banner's picture

Maybe we should #AskJPM?

j/k, this is the hollowest of threats.  That Tweet was actually just a polite reminder to one of the TBTF institutions that their bribe is 60 days past due.

When the bribe is 90 days past due they'll do a FB status update instead...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:22 | 4611738 mademesmile
mademesmile's picture

This seems so vague it reads like a fortune cookie.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:43 | 4611996 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

OMG, one the leaders of the Free Shit Army, aka a bankster outfit, is going to be prosecuted? Give me a fucking break.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:10 | 4612068 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Please let it be B of A, The Morgue, or Citi, or Wells, or the vampire squid or...  If I could choose only one, I'd love for it to be the vampire squid.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:13 | 4612077 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

"When institutions are held to account for institutional failures, then responsible institutions will and do respond."

WTF does that mean (interpreted into apologist bankster-speak, please)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:40 | 4612485 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Come on people, April Fool's day is almost upon us. SRSLY.

If there is a firm it will be a "significant" 800th place trading desk in Bangladesh with a PO box in New York state.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!