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As If 194 Hedge Fund Suddenly Cried Out In Terror, And Were Suddenly Silenced

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Another day, another disaster for GM. Moments ago, on top of the already previously reported numerous recalls by the car marker bailed out by the US government at a loss (but with so many votes for Obama won that who's counting), here is the latest.

  • GM TO RECALL MORE THAN 1.3 MILLION VEHICLES IN THE U.S.
  • GM EXPECTS TO TAKE A CHARGE OF UP TO APPROXIMATELY $750M
  • GM CHARGE INCLUDES PREVIOUSLY DISCLOSED $300M CHARGE

And the punchline:

  • GM SAYS VEHICLES MAY EXPERIENCE SUDDEN LOSS OF POWER STEERING

Alas, as a result, hedge fund hotels may experience sudden loss of P&L, because as we reported previously GM just happens to be the most widely held hedge fund stock in the US currently, with some 194 brand name hedge fund holders according to Goldman Sachs, more than even Apple.

So what happens when the hedge fund hotel decides to exit only to realize that the name of the hotel is California? The answer will present itself quite soon.

 

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Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:30 | 4611767 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

I will never buy a vehicle from Goobermint Motors!!

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:35 | 4611786 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

aaannndddd its gone, your power steering that is....

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:37 | 4611794 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

LOOK HONEY! I'M DRIVIG WITH NO HANDS!!

hahahahaha.... ha.... a......crap....

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:39 | 4611801 New England Patriot
New England Patriot's picture

"No sweat, I got this."

- U.S. Taxpayer

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:42 | 4611825 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Looks like that channel stuffing problem may be solved!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:53 | 4611831 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

"GM SAYS VEHICLES MAY EXPERIENCE SUDDEN LOSS OF POWER STEERING"

"GM SAYS VEHICLES MAY EXPERIENCE SUDDEN LOSS OF POWER BRAKES"

This just in...

NSA, CIA, and FBI deny the secret installation of popular "Boston Brakes" mechanical systems override software package on all new GM models...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:19 | 4611937 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

"GM SAYS ITS INVESTORS MAY EXPERIENCE SUDDEN LOSS OF CAPITAL"

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:27 | 4611955 RevRex
RevRex's picture

Nothing says "I'm a stupid moron" like buying a GM vehicle....GM: the cars for future Darwin Award winners!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:38 | 4611988 madcows
madcows's picture

That would be a great bumper sticker.  You could print those up, and just walk around DC putting them on all GM cars, right below the "HOPE" and "FORWARD" stickers.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:22 | 4612121 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Or over.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:55 | 4612386 knukles
knukles's picture

Guess I'll be seeing more UFOs than Volts for a while longer, now.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:04 | 4612537 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

LMFAO! +10

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 00:48 | 4613007 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Unidentified Frying Objects?  Oh wait, you already said "Volts" :>D

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:38 | 4612170 hobopants
hobopants's picture

Wasn't Kyle Bass pitching GM or at least buying it?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 02:00 | 4613076 CognacAndMencken
CognacAndMencken's picture

 

 

GM SAYS ITS INVESTORS MAY EXPERIENCE SUDDEN LOSS OF CAPITAL

 

A spokesperson for the UAW Retiree Medical Benefits Trust - GM's largest shareholder - was quoted on Monday as saying, "We haven't lost a dime on our GM equity investment.  We've simply adopted the same perspective as all the doomer silver stackers:  if we haven't sold, we haven't lost anything.  Besides, much like the COMEX, the Nasdaq is about to collapse, and when it does, there will be a massive institutional panic whereby everyone will suddenly scramble for shares, sending our GM equity position over the moon.  Not only have we NOT lost a dime, we are actually preparing to become the new oligarchs of society." 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:10 | 4612692 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

"GM just happens to be the most widely held hedge fund stock in the US currently, with some 194 brand name hedge fund holders according to Goldman Sachs, more than even Apple."

 

WHY!!!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 07:21 | 4613294 Town Crier
Town Crier's picture

Because the Federal Government won't let GM fail.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:46 | 4611840 666
666's picture

I'm think I'm gonna chuck a moon at Barra while driving past GM headquarters in my Chevy Vega.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:50 | 4611858 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Add a bull dog for me while you are at it please.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:03 | 4612674 sumo
sumo's picture

"Looks like that channel stuffing problem may be solved! "

If Gov gave these cars free to all TSA employees, it would solve another problem too. Win win.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:26 | 4611952 unrulian
unrulian's picture

By my rough calculations they expect to service each car at a cost of 58 cents? I'm guessing that would be gov math

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:38 | 4612344 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

I thought that's what snooze control was for?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:42 | 4611824 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Where is your patriotism, comrade?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:20 | 4611941 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

behind the wheel of a Ford.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:30 | 4611962 Cat Sniper
Cat Sniper's picture

Go long Trabant! 

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:53 | 4612016 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

it's the idiot trabant!
the Pontiac Aztec.

Was anyone in charge back then?
I think Treasury bailed last December. I vaguely remember high fiving treasury for that one personally...just as the hedgies piled in...which I vaguely recall also wondering aloud about at the time too. in fact I think my exact quote was "why should I buy something not even our Government wants to own anymore?"

anywho..."Elon Musk has a Space Program." with a launch manifest I might add. nuff said.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:42 | 4612353 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

ROFL @ Idiot Trabant. Well played sir.

I thought the nationalization of GM was the most idiotic scheme ever devised....until The 0'Bamabotcare came along. Wake me up when these dogs are done chasing their tails.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:57 | 4612390 knukles
knukles's picture

I'll take that Aztec for $100, Alex

(get it, Alex Trabant?)
maniacal laughter

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:32 | 4612462 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

/cackles at Knukles

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:54 | 4612509 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, ours burst into flames while going down a steep grade. We got to watch the aerial shots of it almost burning up San Diego on the 5pm news. The recall notice came in the mail a month later. Seeing people with their truck Ford logo surrounded in flames just cracks me up.

Miffed;-)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:44 | 4611832 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"I will never buy a vehicle from Goobermint Motors!!"

Tain't nuttin like an ol klunker. Starts all the time, and goes and goes.

Like real Americans, they do not make them like they used to.

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:17 | 4611933 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

GM - government work at its finest.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:05 | 4612055 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

My 48 Ford F-3 stull runs good.  Just need to keep fluids in it.  It's old and leaks a lot...like me.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:10 | 4612258 weburke
weburke's picture

folks dont know how hooked up to the grid cars after 95 are. only more so as time went on.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:45 | 4612360 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Old Cars...if it ain't leaking oil, it ain't got any.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:38 | 4612478 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I had a old Jeep Waggoner. It leaked everything. I never changed any fluids. Just bought cheapest fluid on sale and poured it in. The dash kept having electrical fires but everything kept working. Holes in the floor pan were convenient for ditching empty beers. Hitting puddles came back up same said holes. It would shake violently at 50 mph, but smooth out above 55. I used to call it breaking the sound barrier. Never did any work on it. Loved gas stations. I sold it and it was around town for a few years. Its probably a Honda now.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:48 | 4612644 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Old cars don't leak oil.

They just mark their spot.

GM's, well, they leak oil. And antifreeze. And brake fluid. And power steering fluid (except those that have power steering issues, because they are electric power steering). And smoke, from under the dash. They BLEED capital, though.

The same goes for any car, I suppose, but Government Motors, well, some do things better than others.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 23:21 | 4612861 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Check the gas, fill the oil

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:46 | 4611838 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hedge funds actually own this piece of shit?   It has to be some deal that if they buy it, then they will not be prosecuted for something or anything.  No one in their right mind would buy this.   

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:46 | 4612365 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

...'cept for the Gummint of the former Untied States of BananaMerika

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:54 | 4611867 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

Think of the poor, patriotic fool who bought a nice shiny GM only to see his last seconds on earth flash by him saying "had the free markets worked this car wouldn't have been here for me to drive - FUCK OBAMA!".

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:11 | 4611918 Freddie
Freddie's picture

+100 Priceless

LOL!   Hmmm...this imagery is somewhat creepy.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:40 | 4612484 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Probably a Obama voter that traded in a old Honda for a Cash For Clunkers GM car. Patri-ott-tick Amerkin.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:02 | 4611900 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

You will be mandated to own a GM now "The People's Car". This will be considered constitutional through a new bill in the works called the ACA or (Affordable Car Act). Wait, hang on a second...we do own them.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:27 | 4611954 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

dont laugh. 

in some future obamacare database, there will be a cost multiplier.  and it'll be higher if you own a non-GM car. (or are a registerd Republican.  or own a firearm.  or drink 17 oz soda.  or contribute to a church.  etc).  a couple years ago, this would be a foolish assertion, but not any longer....this is one whacky set of leftists in DC.

 

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:05 | 4612054 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Things that go with GM- Trailer parks, rental cars, hookers, fast food, clunky sounds when you shut a door, pine fresheners, odd dubious name brands, parts you know are on lots more models, made in Mexico tags, etc.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:53 | 4612652 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet.

Trailer parks, hookers, rental cars and Chevrolet.

Go ahead, vote!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgIxzAngFzs

'Merikuh, what do you love?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:32 | 4612158 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

All right then, I'll take one of the 500+ HP models and after the crash it can also serve as a coffin.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:48 | 4612369 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

If we own GM, then Dude, Where's My Car?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:41 | 4611994 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Spent my career doing a lot of business with the big 3. GM was always a shitbag company. Worst culture of any company I ever did business with except maybe GE. The best by far of this group was Chrysler-pre Daimler. GM was a basket case going back a long long time, just exactly like doing business with .gov. Lazy worthless douchebags couldn't give a fuck less about anything. GM hooking up with .gov is like tying two stones and expecting them to float. 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:02 | 4612038 FilthyHabits
FilthyHabits's picture

God, what a bunch of complete dipshits.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:27 | 4612740 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

grrrrr...double tap..my bad

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:27 | 4612741 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

you are entitled as a shareholder in the USa to get a free ride on any aircraft carrier, tank or F16 that you wish..its yours...you are going to paying for it long after GM makes a car that isn't going to break down

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:31 | 4611770 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

definitely in the running for my fave ZH headline ever

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:38 | 4611802 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture
Its good but nothing can beat this: Obama Didn't Know What He Knew When Everyone Else Knew What He Should Have Known
Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:31 | 4611771 giggler321
giggler321's picture

I'm actually surprised they dont just say there are to many people in the world and accept a few losses due to power steering problems

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:33 | 4611779 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

according to their actuarial analysis (thanks fight club), they realize the number of deaths and the resulting lawsuits would amount to much more than the $750M charge.  

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:37 | 4611793 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

A + B - C = >\< recall..... Nothing to see here, buy a new Volt!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:01 | 4611898 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

Buy a used volt on the cheap, take advantage of the recall, then sell the new volt to a dolt.  Maybe the hedge funds can get their analysts and associates to do it on a larger scale to recoup some of their soon to be realized losses.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:54 | 4612377 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

The Narrator: "Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one."

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:40 | 4611807 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Not quite.

The new lady CEO looked it over and said "get it all out there.  Don't dribble it out.  Do it all!"  and then stalked out of the room.

So here it comes.  At the next quarterly review it will become clear that they can't make a profit being honest like this.

And that will be the last of "get it all out there."

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:35 | 4611979 madcows
madcows's picture

correction:  "Get it OUT THERE!  THE GOVERNMENT WILL BAIL US OUT IF WE GET IN TROUBLE!"

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:37 | 4611981 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:49 | 4612010 mendolover
mendolover's picture

That's the name of the game!  They all crunch the numbers and discover it's cheaper to pay the legal teams, judges, settlements, etc. and let the few poor suckers die in a crash, get cancer from toxic chemicals and so on.  If they can't get ya with the steering wheel falling off, they'll get ya when the power steering quits in the fast lane!  Fucking love crony capitalism!

( ;

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:31 | 4611772 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

this is GDP positive....um....i think....

so, buy stocks!!!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:32 | 4611775 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Who is so stupid as to buy GM stock or bonds after the way the were wiped out in the previous government takeover?   I mean seriously?  Next time will be different?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:33 | 4611970 madcows
madcows's picture

Especially in a company that the government hosed bond holders on, and gave ownership to the unions.  holy f-ing shit is that a retarded 'investment'.

Oh, and, WAY TO GO UAW!  "made in america.  Holy shit.  no thanks."  I think I'll buy the leaded, asbestos laden rickshaw from China before I buy an american made car.  Nothing but crooked CEOs and Drug smoking Union thugs puttin our crap together.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:32 | 4611776 Rainman
Rainman's picture

More proof ... everything .gov touches turns to shit.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 00:57 | 4613015 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing
it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.” –Groucho Marx

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:32 | 4611777 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Pontiac Aztek, bitchez!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:14 | 4611925 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Possibly the ugliest car ever made.  How that thing ever got past a review board is beyond me.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:44 | 4612000 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

"yes, but it'll carry a LOT of meth..."

- Walter White

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:34 | 4612162 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

The PT Cruiser is pretty damn fugly - especially the avacodo green convertible ones with the fake wood siding.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:00 | 4612395 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You're doing it wrong. You gotta roll a nice set of Daytons, and some switches ....bytchez.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 00:59 | 4613018 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Guess you've never seen a Studebaker! :>D

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4612130 Make_Mine_A_Double
Make_Mine_A_Double's picture

Hertz gave me the exact same Aztek (same color scheme - could be the same one) at LAX like 20 years ago.

Brand new and had 200 miles on Oder. Peice of shit already had a death rattle and the shifter won't go into reverse.

And this was the baby of the new CEO bird  - undoubtedly one of the worst cars of the era in form and substance.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:34 | 4611780 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

meh... down less than 1/3% ah. Nothing can stop the algos.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:34 | 4611782 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Nothing to see here, Gubment Motors will just accept another bailout gift from the bankrupt taxpayer. Thank you sir may I have another!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:14 | 4612272 chemystical
chemystical's picture

"Nothing to see here, Gubment Motors will just accept another bailout gift from the bankrupt taxpayer"

Strictly a hypothethical here, but would it be patriotic for citizens to grab the inventory off the lots and dump them in, oh I don't know, say, Boston Harbor?

And because that's a wee bit too far for most citizens to convey vehicles from their respective states, would Molotov cocktails make enough of a statment? 

Or would that result only in a bailout of the insurers?  Maybe fly a 747 into the inventory?  Does Larry Silverstein own any adjacent dealerships bought on the cheap?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:36 | 4611790 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

You guys act like all risk isn't backed by freshly printed dollars....

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:37 | 4611792 economessed
economessed's picture

The pride of Detroit.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:37 | 4611795 Lendo
Lendo's picture

Can they blame the malfunctions on the weather?

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:39 | 4611799 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

As much as I like Star Wars, I would like to offer an alternative:

"And the candle by which she had been reading that book that is filled with anxiety, deceit, sorrow and evil flared up with a brighter flame than ever before, lighted up everything for her that had previously been in darkness, flickered, dimmed, and went out forever."   Tolstoy

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:41 | 4611816 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Mow with the peasants, Levin.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:56 | 4611875 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re: ... with a brighter flame than ever before, lighted up everything for her that had previously been in darkness, flickered, dimmed, and went out forever

No no no.  that's for the Telsa recalls,   this is GM.   Power Steering.   Maybe Hemmingway?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 01:01 | 4613020 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

How did the steering fail?  "Gradually, then all at once."  Kinda works for me! :>D

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:39 | 4611803 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

OUCH my BAssssssss

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:40 | 4611812 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

I am sure since the Broken WIndow Fallacy works so well in Paul Krugman's theories it will once again find its place with GM's billion dollar recall.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:43 | 4611830 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Absolutely. The US economy has been in poor shape for some time but look at the S&P soar! GM will probably rise on this tomorrow. Up is down and black is white.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:01 | 4611899 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

What can't POMO do?  Other than any real good that is.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:41 | 4611815 Skin666
Skin666's picture

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:20 | 4611942 RECISION
RECISION's picture

Oh dear,

How sad,

never mind...

(truely - my heart bleeds for them)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:42 | 4611818 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

"Attention Citizen!: You will be given a strength test to determine your ability to apply sufficient torque to the wheel in front of you with enough force to manuever your GM (tm) automobile through these <trees/telephone poles> ahead of you.

Do not be alarmed or frightened.  The Interstate Commerce Commission has determined that in 87.5% of these tests, no damage or death will occur.

You should be pleased that GM has given you this opportunity to test your safety, your Freedom of Choice (tm).

You may now proceed with the test...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:42 | 4611823 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Almost...geez...30 years ago my buddy bought a '67 Nova when he was 15.  He restored it himself before he turned 16.  It didn't have power steering.  I never heard him complain.  meh.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:46 | 4611839 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The Nova was 17 years old.  Your buddy was born in '69.  It could have been restored in either 1984 or 1985 - I'm sorry, was this a test?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:49 | 4611854 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

LOL 19, 71, 86

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:05 | 4611908 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'm sorry, this is what I do for a living.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:50 | 4611859 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Thing is, he kept a good grip on the steering wheel. These are the days of texters (one of which I should've ran off of the road this morning).

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:55 | 4611872 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

In college he bought a Pontiac Fiero (don't recall the model year) also without power steering.  That car was a blast for doing donuts in snow covered parking lots!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:09 | 4612544 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

They didn't say the car LOST STEERING-only power steering. But that could be a big problem if you are acclimated to it at the wrong time.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:03 | 4611901 Hobo Sapien
Hobo Sapien's picture

Dead power steering is much, much harder to turn than the old non-power steering, totally different beast.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:11 | 4612546 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Absolutely.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:47 | 4611841 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

baaa your spoiled little kids,  when i was a kid we steered cars with our feet.  

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:00 | 4611892 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Fred Flintstone style ?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:08 | 4611912 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

F-ing A, absolutely right.

 

Back then, drunk-driving was a contact sport...

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:13 | 4612553 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Hell yea. It's a fucking miracle most of us are still alive. Or not in jail.For life.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:47 | 4611843 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

That lead is just too funny.  Great way to end the day.

 

Darth Ben is about to activate the Death Star.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:47 | 4611846 wisefool
wisefool's picture

The power steering gearbox in a vehicle is one of the most dense components. Perhaps with another 70 years of engineering they could make one that is not too "heavy" to fail.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:52 | 4611864 adr
adr's picture

What is sad is that is was nearly impossible to kill a 1940s Cadilllac before planned obsolescence took over. The transmissions and engines powered WWII tanks. SO when you call a Cadillac a tank, you are actually right.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:07 | 4611891 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I have, and only use, the exact same refrigerator featured in the movie "the matrix." It was designed and manufactured in the early 1960's. You see, before G.E. invented "the matrix" (planned obsolescence model for consumer goods) 

https://www.boundless.com/marketing/marketing-strategies-planning/strate...

They made quality stuff. And did not worry about carrying the torch for the theory of corporate taxation and finance.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:48 | 4611847 stant
stant's picture

as gm goes so goes the country

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:24 | 4611950 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

We are so fucked.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:48 | 4611850 adr
adr's picture

All car makers are affected by recalls. Some trivial, some absolutely deadly. My car model has had one recall in seven years of being on sale. The rear passenger door latch might cause the door to open in some side collisions. I'd say popping a door hinge in a side collision can happen in virtually any car.

In the case of GM, these recalls aren't trivial. They are serious problems so bad that the cars never should have made it out of the factory. The Sonic left the factory with thousands of cars not having brake pads installed in one or more wheels. The Cruze is probably the worst car to be manufactured in the modern era. Unattached steering columns, broken master cylinders, engine fires, transmissions that would shift to reverse from park just sitting there, faulty engine mounts, faulty ignitions, and now power steering loss. Every single Cruze is a lemon.

GM is dead. The lawsuits from the ignition switch alone will run into billions. The company was bailed out so it could continue business as usual. For comic relief google the new Chevy Cruze design.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:51 | 4611860 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Bullish, then.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:52 | 4611862 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

GM is dead? LOL

Unpossible.

Zombies cannot die.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:11 | 4612071 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

My research indicates that they can, if fact, die.  One must shoot them in the head...twice.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:10 | 4612260 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Ninja swords are good also.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:33 | 4612611 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Bricks of gold works good too.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:30 | 4612323 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I have to agree.

This will all be corralled into one class action suit with punitive damages limited when its all settled out of court.

The only people making out like bandits will be the lawyers while the victims will get pennies on the dollar.

Its a beautiful world, except for the shitty humans.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:48 | 4611851 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

What, when did the US Govt know before they sold their GM shares?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:50 | 4611857 Dickweed Wang
Dickweed Wang's picture

"GM stops selling some Cruze small cars, offering no reason"

What do they know that we don't?  Aren't we share holders?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:45 | 4612003 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Are they built in China or screwed together in the USA with Chinese parts.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:52 | 4611865 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

The charge is less than a billion.  Who counts in numbers less than a billion anymore?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:56 | 4611876 Bow Tie
Bow Tie's picture

doesn't matter the US government can print some more money and give it to them.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:58 | 4611884 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

GM Recalls > Obamacare sign ups

#winning

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:13 | 4611903 Mr Giggles
Mr Giggles's picture

Cooorr, loss off steering. are the brakes connected to the radio?

At leased you could listen to some music as you sail through the barrier and into the ravine.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:10 | 4611917 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

 

I guess that's what happens when you make shit boxes for the last 40 years.

 

Never let bean counters make design decisions.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:18 | 4611932 SmilinJoeFizzion
SmilinJoeFizzion's picture

Chevy Volt- nuff said

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:21 | 4611944 The Carbonator
The Carbonator's picture

LOL.  May the farce be with us.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:37 | 4611983 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Its a good thing we have endless tax revenue to fix government fuck ups.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:53 | 4611995 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Good thing is 1.2million of those are already sitting on dealer lots.

 

 #stuffingforthewin

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:43 | 4611998 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Mr. Clean's asana is dysfunctional; the hunched shoulders, outstretched arms and awkward mudra are moar total Amerikan shit trying to look Spiritual.  Fail.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:22 | 4612120 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

He's in an Aztec ad. Of course he's a poseur.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:44 | 4612001 Spungo
Spungo's picture

lol stupid people actually bought GM. If you don't buy their cars and none of your friends buy their cars, why would you assume anyone else buys GM cars? The eventual collapse of GM is one of the most obvious things in the world.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 17:52 | 4612013 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

We'll just have to bail GM out again. It's for the children you know

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:01 | 4612037 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

but the hedge funds are doing such a good job.

Treasury darn near called the top perfectly on this actually.
Jack Lew...winner!
"Now let's light this candle!"

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:12 | 4612074 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nice, and GM just installed a woman driver as the fall guy. Heads up Janet, you're next.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:17 | 4612096 Make_Mine_A_Double
Make_Mine_A_Double's picture

After sandbagging Toyota for a BILLION + for not being able to disprove an imagination negative one can only assume an actual defect that has certain cause and effect to killing 13 people that WAS KNOWN for years is going to cost Government Motors 5, 10 billion in damages?

No wait....it's Government Motors so they'll say it was all pre bailout and their liability for any and all liability is null and void.

 

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:31 | 4612152 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

[sound of respirator]

I find your lack of due diligence disturbing.

[sound of respirator]

Did I mention ethics?

[sound of respirator]

[sound of chuckle]

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 18:49 | 4612208 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

hmmmm...let's see here:

Silver is sub 20/oz

Gold is sub 1300/oz

Gold and silver miners are at all-time lows.  Phyzz and mining stocks are unbelievably over sold at this juncture.

Hedge funds are mostly short gold and silver and collectively hold an extremely small percentage of PM's in the their overall holdings.

Equities are at record bubble tops and "tapering" continues even though that still means 45 Billion/month is being pumped into the system via QE which unless you're using Common Core math still means that the dollar is being completely destroyed by all this printing day by day with no end in sight.

What next, let's see...oh yeah, that's right...Russia, China, et al are continuing major moves to get out of the petro-dollar, as are many other countries through various bi-lateral trade agreements between each other which will exclude the dollar as the reserve currency for international trade. 

Paper gold and silver continue to be criminally manipulated which almost everyone knows about except for 90% of the American public who don't even own 1 single phyzz ounce of silver at this time.

The GSR is 65:1

Gee, is there anything else these fucking people need to know before they finally start to dump their toxic shit stocks like GM and start to go long gold and silver?

Physical metals markets are going to be popping up all over the world in the next year or two which we all know will put a major dent in the fraudulent paper charade market here in American and London.

If these hedge fucks collectively even went 10 to 15% into PM's we'd see massive moves that would destroy the Crimex and the paper system.

60 ounces of silver right now, let's just say the cheaper silver Buffaloes at 1.25 over spot (my LCS cost...not sure about anyone elses), would cost 1275 in U.S. fiat.  Like I said, current GSR is 65:1

What do you think is going to happen to that GSR when all this fucked up shit which the manipulated fundamentals haven't been able to catch up with yet starts to finally take effect in the PM's?

When this all finally flips...and maybe it'll be these fucking hedge fuck freaks who cause the reversal in the PM and mining markets...when this finally flips that GSR is going to plummet.  We all know silver will take off and out-gain gold on the way up just like it did a few years ago.  That GSR is way too big of a spread not be eaten away by at least 50% once silver takes off.

What do you think the PM's are going to have to be at for just a 60:1 GSR?  Let's keep with easy numbers and say 24 silver and 1440 gold = 60:1

So if you even wanted to make a GSR trade with your 1275 worth of silver Buffs once the GSR hit 60:1 that means you're getting an ounce of gold for under 1300 as it's going to be on it's way to 1500 in rapid order.  I like that...but let's see here...

I'd wait...maybe I'd flip a little silver once we hit 55:1 just for funzies.  What round estimates do you think we'll be at when we hit 50:1? 

Well, the last time the GSR was around 50:1, gold was about 1725 and silver was around 34 or 34.50.  That was at the end of November in 2012.  Not that long ago...

Does anybody really doubt that gold and silver are going to hit those levels again in the very near future?  I sure as hell don't doubt it.  I'm thinking we'll at least have 30 silver by the end of this year.  And I highly, highly doubt that once we start to move away from this 20 level and eventually into the 30's at some point, well we're never going to see the 20's ever again.  30 will eventually become a very solid bottom resistance and we'll move into the next big leg up (and major struggle) to get to 40 again.  But we will get there.  We all know that...

I just think the scumbag PTB will do all they can to fight and manage the inevitable incline after the end of this year. 

July 31, 2011 the GSR was 40:1.  Gold was around 1600 and silver was around 40 bucks.  Interesting, huh?   Nice round numbers, ay?  Of course, remember, it's all manipulated. 

The next time we're at 40:1 I definitely plan to unload some super cheap silver for gold and so should you...if we can find any gold, that is.  If the premiums haven't skyrocketed which will skew the GSR.  My guess is at 40:1 it'll actually cost nearly 50:1 to convert.  Just a hunch...I don't know.  I just think at that point the premiums will be quite large as supply will be drastically short.  The stampede will be well underway for sure...

By then where do you think the miners are going to be at?  I'm betting quite a lot in my own portfolio that they're going to be leading the entire market and people are going to be stampeding into the miners within the next year and a half.  That will drive the PM's higher and my guess also is that these hedge fucks will have all turned very bullish before then and reversed all their shorts in PM's by the end of this year.

Yet 90% of the American public can't figure out what a steal 20 buck silver is right now.  Just think what it's going to be like when just 10 or 20% of those people eventually wake the fuck up and decide that 30 silver and 40 silver is a bargain!!!  And they will...just like some of us did in 2011 when silver went off the charts.  You bet I bought some in the low 40's thinking it was all going to be gone soon. So I know how that herd mentality and desperation works on the old noodle.

Now I'm ahead of the game...doing the best I can since then...and the next time that stampede takes off (and it's gonna be one for the ages), I'll gladly be on the sidelines watching because I've loaded up on as much cheap silver for as long as the criminals running the show right now would let me have it.  I know they're all stacking at these prices, that's for fucking sure, and so should we all! 

So just wait until these hedge fucks get into the PM game and quit their bullshit of being short the PM's and go long and start accumulating a lot of the major miners.

If we thought the ride to 49 and 1900 was epic a few years ago, well we ain't seen nothing yet. Remember, the GSR was nearly 30:1 at the end of March 2011 before the "big crush" hit us. 

Just 30:1 though.  That's nothing!!!  Silver should be under 15:1.  Always keep that in mind.  Do you think we'll see 100 silver and 1500 gold????  Fuck no.  How about 5000 gold and 300+ silver?  Sounds more reasonable to me at some point within the next several or less years, doesn't it to all of you??? 

Every ounce we can get under 30 for as long as the scumbags keep holding it this low is a fucking bonus that nobody should be passing on these days.  Just look at the up-side and all the fundos in our favor.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:20 | 4612717 Quaderratic Probing
Quaderratic Probing's picture

Enough about GM what do you think about Gold?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 06:16 | 4613247 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

mmmmmmmm... Silver.

 

GM. UGH.

 

mmmmmmmm... Silver.

 

GM. OW!

 

mmmmmmmm... S I L V E R.

 

A cookie for those of you who remember me from way back.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:02 | 4612235 DrData02
DrData02's picture

You will notice that, while the defect was known by insiders for years, the information was not released until the US Government sold its GM stock.  I wonder which regulators were doing what.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:09 | 4612254 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Who in their right, sane mind, buys a freaking GM? Old GM, new GM, same garbage. Who? Anyone, anyone?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:23 | 4612298 whoopsing
whoopsing's picture

I got an '04 malibu max that the power steering just blinked out on me, scared the fuck out of me. I pulled over turned the car off, checked under the hood for a power steering pump and could not find one! So I gotta get to where I'm going, I start the car and its working again ! A year or so later it happens again, this time I notice they have a nice little warning light that informs you you have no fucking power steering !  Now you tell me they are surprised about this ? P. S. I will never buy one of thier pieces of shit again

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:29 | 4612321 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

Hedge Fund Hotels = Incubators of Evil

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:27 | 4612454 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture

GM just happens to be the most widely held hedge fund stock in the US currently, with some 194 brand name hedge fund holders according to Goldman Sachs, more than even Apple.

 

Thats why they were bailed out. Along with too numerous to list companies---biggest umbrella in the world.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 21:23 | 4612587 BreakingBad69
BreakingBad69's picture

Any wonder why all this occurs now?  Gov't delayed moving on known issues and used time to cover sale of stock.  Freedom motors, you have to love the land of the free and the brave.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:19 | 4612711 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

just goes to show that if a bunch of fuckwits get billions of dollars of tax payer funds provided by a poltical system corrupted by spin doctors and lobbyists....they are still fuckwits..

i wonder if teslar had received tens of billions of dollars whether we would now be driving cars that cost one tenth the price to run.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 22:22 | 4612721 SpasticGramps
SpasticGramps's picture

Why has Kyle Bass been on GM's nuts so much as of late?

This is a POS company. "Helped along" by a POS government. Not a good POS investment.

 

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