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2 Out Of 3 People Mentioned In Yellen's "Not Enough Jobs" Speech Have Criminal Records

Tyler Durden's picture


First we had Jeab-Claude Juncker saying it's ok to lie to the people, then President Obama's poster-child for Obamacare who later discovered she was unable to get the healthcare she expected and now following Janet Yellen's apparently 'uber-dovish' "jobs are not plentful" sob story spech yesterday we have more governmental factual inaccuracies. As Bloomberg reports, in her first speech as Federal Reserve chair, Janet Yellen told the stories of three people who had trouble finding work to illustrate her concern about the unemployed -- omitting the fact that two had criminal records that might have influenced employers’ decisions on whether to hire them.


Oddly the "Jobs Plentiful" index has been nothing but positive throughout all of this... but as is clear below, remain a very long way from the 'plentiful-ness' of the '90s (and appear to have hit resistance)...



As Bloomberg reports, the first of the three people mentioned by Yellen was Dorine Poole, who lost her job processing medical insurance claims when the recession hit.

“When employers started hiring again, two years of unemployment became a disqualification,” Yellen said in her speech yesterday to a community development conference in Chicago. “Even those needing her skills and employment preferred less-qualified workers without a long spell of unemployment.”


Poole was convicted of felony theft 20 years ago after she fell in with a “bad circle,” she said in a telephone interview. She was 18 at the time and served two years of probation.

The second persion Yelle noted was Jermaine Brownlee, a skilled construction worker and apprentice plumber, “saw his wages drop sharply as he scrambled for odd jobs and temporary work,” Yellen said.

Brownlee said in a telephone interview that he was convicted of possession of heroin last year and currently is on parole.

The story beats the facts...

Yellen met personally with both people and knew about their records before the speech, according to a Fed spokeswoman who requested anonymity and declined to comment further.


Politicians commonly tell real-life stories to connect with voters and illustrate policy proposals. While the images can be powerful, there are risks.

But why would she need to do this? To ensure we all graciously accept money printing for the good of the rest of the people (convicted or not?)

The fact that Yellen omitted critical details about Poole and Brownlee shows “poor staff work or poor judgment,” said Republican strategist Stuart Roy, founder of Strategic Action Public Affairs in Alexandria, Virginia.


Real-people examples are very powerful and they’re very dangerous at the same time,” Roy said. “When you’re talking about the Fed, people have no idea what the Fed does. If you can relate it to Main Street and real people it can be very powerful.”

Powerful indeed... or just more smoke and mirrors... As we noted yesterday...

But there is something about the aftermath of the Great Recession, a something that is augmented by Big Data technology, that has made it okay to embrace public misdirection and miscommunication as an acceptable policy “tool”. It’s telling when Jon Stewart, a comedian, is the most authentic public figure I know.


It’s troubling when I have to assume that everything I hear from any politician or any central banker is being said for effect, not for the straightforward expression of an honest opinion.


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Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:29 | 4613366 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

The people in charge are fucking incompetent liars?  I'm amazed, frankly.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:35 | 4613380 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

This has to get the "WHAT THE FUCK AWARD OF THE YEAR" !

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:41 | 4613389 Looney
Looney's picture

Bernanke-bitch was a bit more subtle about the Fed’s questionable role in “job creation”, but this Yellen-bitch does truly believe that the Fed CREATES JOBS… Could somebody please BTFD (beat the fucking dumbness) outta her?  ;-)


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:46 | 4613401 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

whats wrong with this pic....and r hot babes ever ot?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:14 | 4613446 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

For fucks sake people, Tylers, ect...... The Feds main job or purpose, with regards to the populace, is to hide the truth.  When they say that one of their primary roles is to maintain confidence in the monetary system what they mean is lying is a matter of policy.  What the hell do you think they're going to say, "we just make this employment and price stability mouthpiece bullshit up as we go along, because it provides cover for what we really do, which is enrich the banksters at the expense of the populace"?  Now that would be telling the truth.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:20 | 4613471 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

I am wodering if they should make them swear to tell the truth when testifying, It is a crime to lie to Congress anyway. Why do they let them get away with it?


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:04 | 4613574 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Perhaps she just can't tell the difference between common criminals and her circle of bankster/politician friends.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:34 | 4613649 nickels
nickels's picture

When you start to bolster your narrative with toxic anecdotes it's time to get new writers.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:37 | 4614476 TheRedScourge
TheRedScourge's picture

"It’s telling when Jon Stewart, a comedian, is the most authentic public figure I know."


mfw Jon Stewart heavily edits his non-live interviews to make non-socialists look out of touch and heartless, and fights for a higher minimum wage while using unpaid interns almost exclusively, and then people say he's the most authentic public figure they know.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:12 | 4613780 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Why should some conviction from years before hinder a person from working who wants to work?  Can a person without a record bang nails or use a drill any better than someone without?  More moralist-government meddling in the free economy causing distortions and unemployment.

And being in possession of heroin is a medical issue, not a criminal issue.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:39 | 4613857 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Inclined to agree foney.  Once the punishment has been completed to the satisfaction of the legal system, on what basis should there be further punishment (i.e discrimination)?  Are we to believe that time spent in prison is an inadequate punishment that warrants further discrimination after release?  Are we in fact saying that punishment as decreed by the judiciary system is not fit for purpose?


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:02 | 4613931 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Prisons lost sight of their role in 'rehabilitation' a long, long time ago...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:25 | 4613986 SandiaMan
SandiaMan's picture

Lets start calling what it is




This is not a government

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:58 | 4614106 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

The consideration is not so much what they did, but what kind of person they are.

There are 7+ billion people on the face of the earth and absolutely no reason to promote the wellbeing and reproductive success of the low-lifes.

The benefits of civilization should be shared only by the civilized. Fuck the rest.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:25 | 4613983 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

fonestar thinks beating off on the street corner in urine soaked clothing is a good thing to put on a resume. refrences also include: a purple dragon named Tabatha who is always trying to talk him into taking off his clothes for a dollar.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:33 | 4614022 fonestar
fonestar's picture

fonestar had nothing to do with Kony 2012.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:24 | 4614188 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

only beacuse he diddnt accept bitcoin for his campaign contributions. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:57 | 4614320 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

be sure to skip the felony theft one, you get convicted of that and you deserve to be jobless.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:36 | 4613843 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

is that a picture of her at the eternal flame of the holohoax?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:17 | 4614164 smlbizman
Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:00 | 4613433 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"There ain't nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Frrd Sanford

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:05 | 4613443 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

This is caus' two out of three people in the US have criminal records. So this was an accurate population sample.

Sorry USA people but you have more people per capita in prison than anyone else on earth.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:57 | 4613920 john39
john39's picture

that's because, in the land of the free, simply living day to day violates dozens of federal and state laws...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 18:51 | 4615339 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"Your fate is dictated by your convictions (said the Warden to the inmate)."

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:32 | 4613497 mr1963
mr1963's picture

You guys are not thinking, this is all part of the scheme. Holder giving felons back their right to vote, coupled with this Yellen speech, is creating a new protected class. Add on top of it you can no longer NOT hire someone becuase of their criminal background, and you have the next wave of democrat voters. Sorry, they're all (obalmer, holder, yellen, pelosi, reid) complicit in one scheme, keep themselves in power, and they need votes to do it..

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:48 | 4613889 Raisuli
Raisuli's picture

The Right judged them, so the Left reaps the reward. Yup.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:49 | 4614075 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

Speaking of criminals:


The paper (PDF), by Christian Decker and Roger Wattenhofer of ETH Zurich University in Switzerland, describes a close examination of all bitcoin transactions from January of 2013 to February of this year. Their findings are essentially that Mt. Gox's claims that over 850,000 bitcoins — worth hundreds of millions of dollars — were lost to the bug simply can't be true.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614098 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

Since we are talking about criminals, this just in:


Former Bitcoin Foundation vice chairman Charlie Shrem in plea talks, prosecutors say; accused of conspiring to launder currency tied to Silk Road - @BloombergNews

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:59 | 4614109 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

"Former Bitcoin Foundation vice chair Charlie Shrem in plea talks, accused of conspiring to launder currrency..."                                              

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:21 | 4614412 daveO
daveO's picture

I'd love to see Yellin accompany a guy named Jermaine to the local Bank branch of JPM. Then, give them that hard luck story while Jermaine robs them at gunpoint.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:30 | 4613368 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

We could have known. After all - aren't there some similarities between heroin and hopium?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:32 | 4613370 Silversinner
Silversinner's picture

In a police state almost evereybody has a criminal reccord.

Think of prisoners as revenue and cheap labor.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:26 | 4613487 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

In soviet Amerika, living is crime.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:17 | 4613795 Blano
Blano's picture

In Soviet America, crime convict you.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:30 | 4614207 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

That's it. I knew there was a Yackoff Schmirnoff joke here. I just couldn't find. Thanks.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:33 | 4613836 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Yellen should have used Jon Corzine as her example. No fear of him ever becoming a convicted felon.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:32 | 4613371 machineh
machineh's picture

And Jonathan Pollard, the convicted Israeli spy that Obama's scheming to release, also has a criminal record.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:36 | 4613383 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Have to throw Bibi a bone - so he will halt "settlement" work for a few weeks- so we can pretend to have "peace talks" which will fail miserably as intended - wash rinse repeat...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:04 | 4613938 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I have to say, my jaw dropped when I saw the US would release a spy, and in exchange, Israel will TEMPORARILY HALT SOME CONSTRUCTION occuring in Palestine/aka not in Israel/aka 'in occupied territory'.

Really?  So they aren't even willing to halt construction OUTSIDE ISRAEL completely?  Good luck w/ those peace talks!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:33 | 4613375 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

if the incompetent monkeys runnning the fed let the economy "reset" in 09, we would have bottomed out in 2011-2012 and we'd be in a much better position right now. as it is, we still have to bottom out, which will be 2-3X more painful and long than we would have faced.  thanks, you fucking criminals running the printer.  may you all face an eternity being tortured in hell.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:08 | 4613449 More_sellers_th...
More_sellers_than_buyers's picture


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:34 | 4613377 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Felony theft, sounds familiar...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:34 | 4613378 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Never stopped public unions from hiring them, they love thugs 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:13 | 4613456 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

And lazy asses.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:37 | 4613381 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

After considering the crimes she has committed and will continue to commit, heroin is barely a misdemeanor.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614102 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

Yeah, she's like the next "christian" bombing large swaths of civilians in a "just war"...but I have to say it's a reach for the 1st example, where the action was 20 yrs ago (long past any required disclosures, statute of limitations). And she was only on probation. As for the 2nd guy, construction's always a bitch, and I can't imagine someone on smack would be especially vigorous in executing their duties...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:36 | 4613382 Confused
Confused's picture

Doesn't change the fact that there are not enough jobs. But thats ok. The corporations will continue chasing cost cutting measures to boost bottoms lines. Got to make sure that year end bonus comes in. 


Side note: A representative from the state speaks, assume its a lie. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:15 | 4613463 adr
adr's picture

Plus ship more of our beef, milk, cheese, etc to China making it even harder for Americans to make ends meet.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:34 | 4614470 daveO
daveO's picture

Don't worry. Yellin will print more money to fund those Food Stamps regardless of price.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:37 | 4613385 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

She should have them over to her house for dinner since she cares so much.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:52 | 4613412 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

armed with her strapon, those guy would be in for a surprise of their lives...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:36 | 4613844 Raisuli
Raisuli's picture

For those that have done time, I think a strap-on would not be much of a surprise. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:38 | 4613388 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Having checkers who have used drugs is bad, but having WS'ers that use drugs is OK, cause they are achievers....


I say grind them all up into Soylent Green.

Call it behavior modification with an appetizer.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:47 | 4613398 Firepower
Firepower's picture

There aren't plentiful jobs enough for anyone anymore in Murka.


If so, 4000 lining up for 2 jobs sweeping floors at a BiGGov Schoolhouse would be rare.

As would Obama not tryiing to buy them as future voters...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:44 | 4613399 Firepower
Firepower's picture

'tis a Sad Reality

That a criminal conviction negates most jobs -

Even for the 1.2% of parolees who truly seek rehabilititaion.


The rest are better off eradicated.

If you don't,

Those hungry bellies will eventually eat you.

Liberal Nazism is Colored Nationalism

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:45 | 4613400 SoDamnMad
SoDamnMad's picture

Drive through the wide open spaces of Arizona and see all the For Profit correctional facilities, Ching-ching. Ching-ching. Can you hear the profits being made incarcerating?  While the inmates don't exactly have "jobs" and aren't exactly "employed", they are making profits for Wall Street.  Will the CCIs of the US be in competition with the FEMA camps?  

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:45 | 4613402 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Every  Titanic has it's Iceberg I guess

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:28 | 4613490 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:47 | 4613404 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Tapering is a lie because the pipeline of 0% loans to the big banks is expanding even as QE winds down.  Money creation leads to suppression of the gold price.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:53 | 4613419 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"Money creation leads to suppression of the gold price." - correct, well, at least until everyone with a paper claim demands physical.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:11 | 4613452 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:52 | 4613411 Spungo
Spungo's picture

This article seems petty. Oh noes, that woman stole something 20 YEARS ago! She should never have a job again!!! Durrr!!!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:13 | 4613457 adr
adr's picture

Well a trust fund baby can get probabtion for raping his three year old daughter and sexually abusing his son.

This lady just has to figure out how to become heir to a giant fortune, then her petty crime won't matter.

See it's so simple. Become filthy rich and you no longer need to worry about breaking the law.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:52 | 4613413 HRamos_3
HRamos_3's picture

Weather, Bullish.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:53 | 4613415 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I say that having a "criminal record" is a simple matter of getting caught.  Are we to believe that all these central bankers usurping the constitution and bill of rights is not criminal behavior?

In this instance, maybe it's simple a case of "takes one to know one".

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:12 | 4613454 PT
PT's picture

There's been studies done on honesty.  Some guy selling Bagels in office blocks, using an honour system.  He kept detailed records, and when the offices were too dishonest he put his prices up to stay profitable (i.e. the honest people in those offices paid for the theft by their workmates).  Unfortunately, I can't remember more details.  The article was in some kind of  "Economics in every day life" type book that I read a while ago.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:51 | 4613891 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

This was most helpful. I feel I understand many things better right now. Thank you so much for posting.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 07:53 | 4616565 PT
PT's picture

I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not.  Either way, you motivated me to try a bit harder.  I guess the book I read was "Freakonomics", as mentioned in this article.

I still have my copy of Freakonomics laying around somewhere but I can't remember what I thought of the book as a whole.  It did have at least a couple of interesting articles in it, and the Bagel story was one of the good ones.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:16 | 4616630 PT
PT's picture

Or if you can't be bothered looking for a book, try this article:

Bottom of the second page is where it gets interesting.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:56 | 4613423 Drifter
Drifter's picture

"It’s troubling when I have to assume that everything I hear from any politician or any central banker is being said for effect, not for the straightforward expression of an honest opinion."

Just now figuring that out?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:56 | 4613424 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Fuck you Feinstein.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 08:57 | 4613426 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

The irony is that if jobs are not plentiful the person to blame is Janet Yellen. If America had a public banking system then sovereign credit could be issued to get everyone working(as actually happened in America under Lincoln. Hitler's Germany and China). However thanks to the bankster owned Fed there is unemployment instead. If she was serious about helping she should leave and close down the Fed. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:07 | 4613447 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Again, "There ain't nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:15 | 4613786 magnetosphere
magnetosphere's picture

hitler did not favor interest-free money.  Gottfried Feder got thrown out when the nazis needed the support of the bankers and big business.


if china has interest-free credit, why do they have to goal-seek their gdp growth numbers?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:17 | 4613437 22winmag
22winmag's picture



The founding fathers and the many thousands who gave their lives for independence were certainly considered criminals, public enemies, and terrorists. Now we're all criminals. Let's enjoy the ride when the charades come to an end, and the ropes start twisting and the bullets start flying.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:24 | 4613483 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"This is getting better by the minute."  Dutch in Predator 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:05 | 4613444 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

Are all top "economists" brain-damaged? It is a prerequisite for rising in that position?

The perfect picture of what's wrong with this country after 50 years of communism.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:03 | 4616577 PT
PT's picture


"They" won't hire you if you use your brain.  Look at the way religion gets hijacked by those who want to steal everything.  If religion can get hijacked, how on earth would economics escape unscathed?  In fact, there would be a good case to call economics "a religion for atheists".  And just as you get TV preachers, you get "top economists" with the most money and making the most noise.

Economics, the "study of managing wants and needs" ( or however you want to describe it ) only exists amongst poor or least publicized.  The "Economics" that you see on MSM is "Economics, the Propaganda Machine."

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:09 | 4613450 adr
adr's picture

Well you fucking bitch, because the Fed and the wonderful futures exchanges running the price of everything up to and above record highs, making $60k in 2014 is equivalent to making $35k in 2009.

You cam go through $100 like you used to go through $10.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:12 | 4613455 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

Log scales on any graph is reprehensible.

Did Yellen ask you to hide the true resistance line?


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:14 | 4613461 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Correction: the fed's job is to suppress interest rates and monetize debt. Seriously. They were only given the power to monetize debt during WW1.

I don't even think it matters if the fed is privately owned. Do you really think it would be any better if it were government owned and operated? The government has done such a wonderful job of running schools, prisons, the DEA, the CIA, the post office, the DMV, etc. They would have the same stupid congressional hearings. They would get the same nonsense answers. It would be as transparent as the NSA. The people running it would all be friends or family of the president.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:15 | 4613464 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

In the era of Presidents doing coke, smoking weed and drinking excessively, how come this does not surprise me

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:17 | 4613466 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the criminals are innocent ala Jon Corzine, us non connected, are all guilty as hell..heck I did not sign up for obuma care, they got me right there and for thousands of other laws and regs I have unknowing broken over the years..Corzine laughs at the jerks who even try to obey our laws..heck it's against thelaw to allow rain water to fall on my property without paying the state for that right, I don't pay that tax so criminal that I am.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:20 | 4613475 10mm
10mm's picture

20 yrs ago she fell into a bad circle. Then again, there is the problem. No chance of redemtion. Of course based on the magnitude of the felony.But still if it's a soft felony one should be able to clear after a period of time.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:21 | 4613479 Unstable Condition
Unstable Condition's picture

Taxes & inflation = THEFT

Fuck you D.C. and that goes for you too, Mr. Yellen.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:24 | 4613484 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Birds of a feather. Yellen is an unindicted criminal and conspirator.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 15:14 | 4614622 daveO
daveO's picture

Her tribe is their tribe's leader.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:44 | 4613525 kenezen
kenezen's picture

Somebody, even Yellen, commenting on unemployment as a tragedy in America is good and; one would have to be either very stupid or incredibly biased to ignore the true condition in America of "Real" Unemployment. Nit Picking what she said is always smart! One might if they had a brain, to understand that our incredible Middle class, you know the thing that separated us from the rest of the world, had been damaged badly for the last 30 years. Do you not know the wages for our middle class private sector has flattened for that entire period of time. The proof of what I say is Federal Employment and Pension pay is double Private Sector pay and pension. So not only does our private sector have a job problem and pay problem it's the Federal Government's fault! And it has been for years. I know you can't understand this because this is not nit-picking. Its historic fact. If you want to know more READ! A little economic history would be good!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:42 | 4613527 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Somebody please explain what POMO has to do with those three people.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:36 | 4613737 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

Yeah, that shit causes inflation. It makes the three people who don't have jobs to cause their KFC to go up.  Who cares they are probably on EBT.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:44 | 4614055 dinkum
dinkum's picture

williambanzai7, your grossly politically incorrect question that made me laugh out loud will be imprinted in my mind until I die. So will the first 10 explanations that flashed into my mind within seconds. Here's a few:

  • We're passing on Stanley Fisher for vice-chair who already has a job. 
  • No more stinkin' meetings full of geeks who passed sixth grade arithmetic proficiency tests.
  • They all mastered Maestro-speak for nosey media interviews.
  • President Chauncey Gardiner's wants someone at the Fed who won't confuse him with POMO.
  • Linda Yellen's casting director for the Fed's TV sitcom picked the three. 

Seriously, Linda Yellen is highly respected and honorable.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:49 | 4613545 Imminent Collapse
Imminent Collapse's picture

There's a factory standing empty
Where we built your Chevrolet
And we sent our kids to college
On a forty hour wage

But now the windows all are broken
There's graffiti on the walls
And the kids came home from college
And took a job down at the mall

And the winter is getting longer
And this town is frozen now
And I can't remember summer
It feels like spring may never come

There's a half full whiskey bottle
On the table by my bed
And there's a hollow in the pillow
Where she used to lay her head

And all the dreams and all the memories
Faded pictures and crooked frames
Hang in silence down the hallway
In the chill of what remains

Now the winter is getting colder
And my heart is frozen now
And I can't remember summer
It feels like spring may never come

Shades of hopeless on the faces
Of the souls who stand in light
And Holy Jesus hangs on crosses
And I hear Mother Mary crying

Halleluiah, halleluiah
Soon it all will disappear
Buried under the snows of winter
Just like we all were never here

Shawn Mullins

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 09:52 | 4613549 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

both you and your family will rot in hell Yellen

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:09 | 4613561 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

They'l pump this thing till the republicans take the senate in November. Then, the democrat jew bankers will back off the pump. The media will then zero in on the republicn senate being to blame for the shitty economy, paving the way for Hillary in 2016.

You can see this playbook unfolding a mile away.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:21 | 4613620 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture


The media will then zero in on the republican senate being to blame for the shitty economy, paving the way for Hillary in 2016.

God I hope your wrong.  

There's also the debt ceiling bullshit coming back again in Aug of 2015 - just in time for the elections! #vomit

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:13 | 4613598 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture

Not for a moment to I believe that these three people were choosen at ramdom and their backgrounds were not unknown...  The head of the Fed knows all the words and "facts" of her speech will be parsed and deepy investigated.

She has intentionally underminded the words she had to speak....  By choosing these three people, she has made the case that the unemployment/underemployment problem is not because of fiscal policy but is due to socitial disfunction...  criminal record, work ethic or drug addiction.....

Now why would she do that????? <sarc> 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:15 | 4613606 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Our corporate gods are the arbiters of what is sin and who sins.........

.......God was made irrelevant when they put God's name on that dirty green piece of paper.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 10:59 | 4613736 royal
royal's picture

2,000,000 US citizens in fuckin' prison.

And when they get out, they can't find a fuckin' job.

the solution: stop sending people to fuckin' prison for fuckin' bullshit, non-violent fuckin' crimes.

then, they can actually be productive fuckin' members of society instead of being on fuckin' welfare.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:02 | 4613897 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

That's cruel: how would the Prison Guards' Union provide for its members?  How would a decent G4S or CXW corrections company executive support her family?  Not to mention all the judges, DAs, bailiffs and police officers.  Why, the very existence of the FBI, the DEA and the ATF would be threatened.  Just think of the construction company profits that would suffer if no more prisons were built.  Then there is the "they tried to make me go to Rehab" side and all the parole officers and half-way house managers.....

Wow, a jobs program and it stimulates the economy and it gets unemployed young folks off the street into a structured locked-down is a WIN, WIN......MOAR Laws, more crimes, more arrests and more Order......

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 15:25 | 4614662 daveO
daveO's picture

They're in prison because they didn't want a real job. Pay's too low. So, they went into pharmaceuticals to provide the 'projects' with valuable income. It's all an invention by Uncle Sam. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:26 | 4613747 WhyWait
WhyWait's picture

I agree about Yellen, but somehow nailing her for holding up the wrong victims as examples is off the mark.  Those poor dumb shits with arrest records belong to us, not her.

More than half the adult population of my state has a criminal record.  Incredible but true.

More than half have bad credit.

A huge percent haven't had a real job in years and have given up looking. 

Huge numbers are claiming disabilities to keep from starving.  In most cases the disability is real, but wouldn't stop them from working if employers would accommodate them.  They are unemployed because they have a disability, but have to insist they can't work. 

Many are chronically sick and mentally clouded from stress, bad food and environmental poisons.

Large numbers can't fill out online applications - for jobs that don't or shouldn't require computer skills.

I know kids who can't get a first job - because they've never had a job.  And employers who won't touch them - because they don't know how to be a good worker.  I know 20-somethings, 30-somethings who don't know what a "good job" is, can't imagine anything beyond temporary jobs with no benefits.

I know folks losing their homes because they can't find work, and folks who can't find work because they're homeless.  Landlords going broke becasue their tenants are robbing them, and tenants who laugh about cheating them, whose real problem is they can't afford a home for their children. 

Students - young folk and re-treads in their 40's and 50's, running up huge debts staying in school or going back to learn a new field - and "adjunct faculty" trying to build up their resumes or just keep their finger in their fields, slowly sinking because their stipends aren't a living wage.

And veterans, proud angry men who can't hold a job because they're ... veterans.  Whatever it is that these wars are doing to them.  

Our neighborhoods are visibly going to pieces.  Not just the streets, people's houses. In normal times many would be out on a sunny Saturday fixing their homes, and the neighborhoods would be ringing with the sounds of hammers and saws.  Now it's quiet.  There's no wait at the checkout lines at Home Depot. Many are working, at whatever jobs they can get whenever they can get it, but the money's not flowing.

 Almost no one has the resources left to weather the next storm.  Folks are getting sicker and crazier.  5 1/2 years ago we turned out in mass to vote for hope and change.   Two years ago "hope and change" got a laugh.  Now it just gets a snicker.  Yet we hope, because hope is all that's left.

When hope dies, it will matter what ideas we have about why, and about who's on our side and who's to blame.

Any solution that would reverse this full-spectrum collapse of an entire civilization must involve a quick return to a full-employment economy, one where employers will have to hire the "undesireables", and their workers will be too busy rebuilding their shattered lives and communities to waste time on self-destruction.  

The Fed can't fix it. The Fed is at the heart of the problem.  The massive sucking of resources out of the pockets of the people into the hands of the kleptocrats, the banksters and war profiteers is the heart of the problem, and is the reason for the Fed's existence.  

The problem isn't the poor dumb shits with arrest records.  The problem is that we - all of us - can only be robbed for so long of so much before the entire economy collapses like a pricked balloon.  And a lot of us are getting crazy and disfunctional as it does.

One way or another massive resources have to be transferred from the folks who are just sitting on them, using them to gamble with, to those who will use them to generate meaningful activity in the real economy, and that won't be easy.  

You all saw that article yesterday about "The Problem isn't the 99% vs. the 1%, it's the 1% vs the .01%"?  At the end Tyler reframes it as the 99.99% vs the .01%.  

That's the winning combination. But that ain't gonna be easy, because the 99% and the 1% live in different worlds - and have real conflicts with each other. What is being done to Ukraine will be done to us, to set us against each other.  We need to get clear about who belongs with us and what issues are a distraction.  And those ideas need to spread. Fast. It's going to take all of us, including a whole lot of folks who regard each other with anger and contempt, getting past that to stand together against our common foe. 

Including the ones who can't find a real job now because they have criminal records.  And who must and will be on our side of the barricades if we are going to win.




Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4613829 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture


+100 on the personal assessment of what you are witnessing in you neighborhood. 

Even in my area which probably is the 3rd or 4th most affluent place in the Country to live and feeds off the tits of the Federal Government which is 20 miles down the road you can feel the tension.  Government budgets are getting eviscerated (as well they should be) and those that were working for the government all these years ain't finding employment on the commerical side too easily 1) Because they don't have the skills to do commercial sector work given that the transition is based on efficiency and competition which is something they know nothing about in there prior careers as contractors to the Federal "Head" which had limitless funding and 2) Our commercial sector technology in particular has been over-run by H1B1 visas...

Best of all if you are a technical professional seeking employment and have been laid off you have some of the most incompetent head hunters in the business who's only role is to push a resume through a filter that looks for key phrases and word searches for technical hardware and software product as they don't even bother to read it in the first place.  Best of all if you are an IT professional just like all of telecom and IT support desks across the U.S., the operations are run out of Bangalore.  The same for the technical professionals scrutinizing your resume.  At least 3 out of 5 is probably from India and they either have English as their second language or you don't understand them!  Because of th H1B1 erosion of the last 12 to 15 years, the next job you take will see a decline in salary of at least 20% to 30%.

And if you're out of work for more than 3 to 4 months forget it.  It's either back to school or another certification which will not guarantee you the next job in the commercial sector.

Your story is everybodys story in this America today!


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:46 | 4613882 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Fewer than 1 million H1-B visas extant, amid a civilian workforce of 155 million.

Yep, it's that 0.64% that's causing all the trouble, not the Fed or the primary dealers.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:02 | 4613928 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

fewer than 1,000,000 of them visas huh, never mind the millions who stay when they run out, it's always off the books underthe table stuff that hits the hardest millions of illegals here taking jobs millions of green cards ..frank you are an idiot.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:44 | 4614039 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

They only issue 150,000 a year. Even if they've done  that for last 20 years, and every single recipient has stayed here (and I didn't; I'm back in Canada) and not one has retired, that's still only 3,000,000 since Clinton took power, or less than 2% of the workforce.

Yep, blame all the trouble on that 2% - it will take your mind off your laughable grammar and composition skills, and your non-existent arithmetical ability, which certainly wouldn't get you hired at my firm.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:24 | 4614407 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Hey Frank back in Canada

Explain these?  I'll even meet you half way by saying not only is visa admission being flagrantly violated but that it hurts both American and immigration labor in the end.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:41 | 4614046 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Agree, the 1,000,000 current H1B visas plus 2,000,000 previous H1B converted to green card and even citizen, in a pool of maybe 7m STEM jobs, not a total pool of 150m jobs.

That many imports forces the wages down to less than half what it was previously.  This is what Alan Greenspan wanted, the moron.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:45 | 4614059 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

it gets worse, pay attention at 1:44 minurtes in...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:03 | 4613753 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

"It’s telling when Jon Stewart, a comedian, is the most authentic public figure I know."...

Paging Jon stewart... Paging Jon Stewart...

Your brother Larry Leibowitz just called... Said he and some of his exec pals at CNN think you were a little rough on Erik Prince when you had him on the Daily Show...

They said you need to have him on again and be more gracious this time around!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:35 | 4613841 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

It's going to take all of us, including a whole lot of folks who regard each other with anger and contempt, getting past that to stand together against our common foe.


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:11 | 4613778 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

With For Profit Correctional Facilities, all citizens are subject to "IMPRESSMENT." - Don't think it can't happen to you....Your new job - professional prisoner [AKA-profit generator]....


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 17:10 | 4613817 SameAsItEverWas
SameAsItEverWas's picture

Is there anyone else here besides me who is brave and honest enough to look into Nietzsche's ugly molten pit and see Truth in all its horror?   

I never took an interest in History until recently after discovering H.E. Barnes who explained very well in his 1926 History and Social Intelligence what I had instinctively felt from grade school; that it was just propaganda and lies to serve the interest of the state in that those who control the past control the present.  Barnes proved that my intuition was spot-on. 

Proponents of truth trying to overcome war-inciting lies used to be called historical revisionists.  Not any more.  Now they're called conspiracy theorists.  Ain't that grand?  Go look up the Columbia school of "new history" proponents: Beard, Shotwell, and Robinson.  They looked at WW1 through the lens of "truth is first casualty of war" but they just could not overcome the mob for what Chamberlin wrote about in America's Second Crusade

After Barnes found that his mentors who had exposed Truth being the first casualty of WW1 were mostly all caught up by the herd and were not doing the work of Clio for the "Good War" of WW2, the ruling herd (all group-think brainwashed into "Good War" nonthink) managed to erase all knowledge of the greatest mind of the 20th century and relegate his Da Vinci-like accomplishments in social science to the dustbin of books shredded for pulp.  I've been buying them up in new and unused condition for less than the shipping costs.  Each day that a new one arrives I'm thrilled to have a rare book in pristine condiition bought for a pitancce, but saddened that nobody had ever opened it to read it.  

Hmm.  One of the great difficulties in having other social scientists take sociology seriously is that without numbers to back up your theories, they say it's just subjective and not "real science" because most sociological theory is not amenable to quantification.  Soft science without hard numbers is seen as less scientific.  But isn't History the oldest and most "respectable" social science?  Only numbers of note in history are dates, eh?  But what about the prices for an author's out-of-print books?  High prices signify high interest.  Vice versa.  The market may not really know anything, but it most definitely shows what others are thinking.  The market for Barnes' books, that is.

So if the prices of Barnes' books start going up then I'll know there are others besides me who are interested in his work.  Pretty cool!  Maybe just one out a million people can see what is clear as day for me.  It's been this way my entire life.  While most such as me never accomplish anything and die badly broken, at least I made some tangible contributions to a very small area of science where my work is still considered state-of-art decades after publication. 

Betcha never heard of Barnes.  Your loss.  Reason why is that you're probably only interested in things that other people are interested in. Very very few of us are willing to entertain thoughts not shared by whatever herd we associate with.  Barnes stands out because of his adamant opposition to war.  All wars!  He said that wars are always beased on lies and that the only way we could ever have peace would be if people understood that wars are based on lies, and that there is no such thing as a good war.  Not ever!  WW2 Good War was every bit just as much a lie as was WW1 being War to End All Wars.  Always lies. But how can people be fooled so easily?  Barnes explained that also.  Which is why it's so important that nobody know about him.  Everyone except a very special few who are somehow immune to the brainwashing.

Bottom line is that we don't live in a "post-democratic society" because it never was a democracy.  The U.S. was an autocratic plutocracy ever since the country's single party, the Federalists, pushed through the ratification of the vastly unpopular Constitution of 1787.  Pretty much all the people who fought for independence were adamantly opposed to it.  But the opponents had to be careful because they could be hung for treason.  Whigs and Tories had been doing that to each other in England for a long time whenever there was a power shift.   So there really was no such thing as the Anti-Federalist party, per se.  A big impetus for the Patrick Henrys and Samuel Adams's in fighting for independence was fear of the gallows if they failed. 

The autocracy of what Barnes calls the Patristic Age (his unique Latinism for time of Founding Fathers) came to a demise when absolute power ended up corrupting absolutely and the ruling Hamiltonian money powers overstepped all bounds of reason (and 1st Amendment!) with the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798 (criminalizing criticism of the president, the government, or its laws as 2-year felonies!) which got Thomas Jefferson--who was so eminent that he could hardly be called a traitor--to achieve the most fantastic bit of political organizing in America's history despite then very-limited communication facilities and so created our first opposition party, his new Republican party, in the span of just two years.  "Anti-Federalists" were so fearful of the autocratic Federalists that they mostly all used pseudonyms.  They were treasonous dissidents!  Barnes called exposing these facts New History to distinguish true reporting of history from the usual propaganda serving state interests, which is the SOP I perceived as a child.

History and Social Intelligence is a somewhat ironic title because it's really about the history of social stupidity, looked at no less from what Barnes termed a "genetic" view that predated the post-1980s "evolutionary psychology" by half a century.  But Barnes was looking at Darwinian evolution not for individual behavior, but for group behavior.  Now how cool is that?

Barnes was churning out his books in the 1920s and 1930s faster than most anyone could read them.   Barnes also wrote the Encyclopedia Americana article on Nationalism which stood for 40 years, in addition to their article on History of History, so he was no kook, though he was later branded as such by the Pro-Defamation Legion who came up with the cockamamie smear that he was some sort of Holocaust Denier.  Baloney.  His book History of Historical Writing is still the the only book of substance in any language on the history of historiography.

Am I the only one here who has true intellectual curiosity and is willing to consider the possibility that almost everything they've been told about politics and history are merely the social-control lies of war-mongering propaganda, and that they and everyone around them have been bamboozled ever since grade school? 

Mark Twain said that it's easy to fool a man, but then it's practically impossible to convince him that he was fooled.  Same thing here.  On a huge scale!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:54 | 4613908 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Yellen is a criminal too, she just hasn't been convicted

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:31 | 4613914 dogismycopilot
dogismycopilot's picture

onion stories are a trip

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:14 | 4613955 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

so now she's a "politician"???  that's interesting...I thought she was supposed to run the central bank in order to provide stay-bill-i-tee to the dollar, keep inflation low, and prevent boom-bust-bubbles from wrecking our economy...

oh wait...never mind...


Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:37 | 4613957 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

#2 & #3: "I didnt' see it coming!'

Wild Guess : both of those cons are Kenyan Nation Dems!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:22 | 4613974 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Hahahaha.  I really thought this was an April Fools joke, but it really speaks to the absurdity of it all.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:23 | 4613981 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Ok, so 2 were ex cons and the 3rd. was on a work release program.....her point being the TBTF Banks are laying off workers???

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:24 | 4613984 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Top Dem candidates!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:28 | 4613995 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

I think we all know what kind of 'Jobs' Dorine is giving now!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:28 | 4613996 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Arrest the FED for treason. They are funding the NWO that is taking over the United States of America.

They are destroying democracy and the greatest nation in the history of human civilization. They are in violation of the Constitution of the United States of America.

Arrest them. Don't let them get away.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:28 | 4614000 KCMLO
KCMLO's picture

So Yellen pointed out the fallacy of ever possibly paying your debt to society (the lady had a felony 20 years ago fof fuck's sake, presumably with no additional charges?).  The inability of a recovering drug user to find gainful employment (probably not out there pounding the pavement for jobs if they're hooked on smack).  And the stupidity of our current economy.  Awesome!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:32 | 4614018 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Nothing ever gets paid back in Keynesian Land!

I Owe Unicorns!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:31 | 4614010 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

OT but it appears Putin is not quite ready to blink after all...

Ukraine crisis: NATO chief Rasmussen says no Russian troop withdrawal seen   
now where was it I read about WW3 being the ultimate Keynesian economic wet dream?  1 billion broken windows coming right up.
Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:32 | 4614019 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

Federal Reserve of the Banks, by the Banks and for the Banks. 

The rest of the country and its citizens be damned. The main aim of the political class and the central bankers around the world is to create one bubble after another for the zombie bankers to feed on. The majority of the population who actually work hard to earn their living by engaging in productive work have to pay the price by either loosing a majority of their earnings in the form of taxes, interest on loans or paying the bill for the bailouts.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:36 | 4614029 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

'Skilled construction worker + apprentice plumber?'

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:39 | 4614038 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

Criminals gotta work too, if they choose to genuinely contribute somethign to society.  That being said, they couldnt find people with no criminal records for examples?  Does 66% of America possess a criminal record?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:18 | 4614167 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Criminals should be excluded from society.

Why would any sane person want criminal genes to commingle with the non-criminal genes?

That's what is wrong with society; criminals incorporated into society and then the government tells you that you need it to protect you from the criminals.

Big criminals using little criminals to maintain control.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:42 | 4614048 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Here are all the plentiful jobs. (pay close attention at 1:44 minutes in)

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:43 | 4614053 Georgia_Boy
Georgia_Boy's picture

It doesn't fit with the bear motif of Zerohedge, but I think this kind of thing is common among articles about the long term unemployed, and those of them that post on Internet forums, etc. We don't get the whole story about why they are long-termers. We hear about how they can't find a job in X field but they don't tell us they have no degree related to it. They tell us they've sent out X hundred resumes and no calls back but don't tell us they sued their former employer. Or they resigned to avoid being fired from their last job. And their former employers obviously aren't going to talk, so we're left with only their side of it.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:54 | 4614091 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

"We will ease until openly admitted convincted fellons can easily get jobs. That's our threshold. That is all."

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:04 | 4614121 flacorps
flacorps's picture

The people at the Fed feel more kinship with convicts.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:12 | 4614148 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Dosey J.Y.: #1 Useful Idiot!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:13 | 4614150 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

fuck jon stewart. "most sincere" my ass. his intentionally dishonest portrayal of peter schiff was disgusting. and the way he handled andrew napolitano was just as bad. come on tyler, dont be an ass

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:22 | 4614173 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Being a democratic comedic clown is a precursor & prerequisitie to messianic social vision!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:27 | 4614200 Ms No
Ms No's picture

In a police state all thinking people will eventually be convicted of crime or labeled insane.  I trust jo blow the pot dealer more than these psychopaths.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:35 | 4614220 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

The word of the day: unemployable.

diffrent class altogether than unemployed. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:48 | 4614531 Hapa
Hapa's picture

"It’s troubling when I have to assume that everything I hear from any politician or any central banker is being said for effect, not for the straightforward expression of an honest opinion"

The whole thing is a total charade, probably always been this way.  Only rare moments in history were filled with candor.  We live in the age of hubris and lies.  These people are sociopaths with a liberal sprinkling of psycho pathology.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:41 | 4617888 flow5
flow5's picture

LOL, this is the easiest country in the world to get a stipped sor orange uit.

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