Equity Futures Spike On Chile Earthquake, USDJPY Momentum Ignition

Tyler Durden's picture

If bad news is good news; then devastating earthquakes are awesome... Copper prices popped and dropped on the new of the Chile quake (as it is near a mining region) but it is the price action in JPY (and therefore implicitly US equities) that is just farcical - and no, there's no news, no China stimulus, no Japan stimulus, no data... just this utter insanity...

Makes perfect fun-durr-mental sense...


And copper has retraced its gains...


Following reassurances:


Charts: Bloomberg

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fonzannoon's picture

so much easier to ignore the riggedness of it when it's going up.  

Dr. Engali's picture

Hey whatever, the clients think this retard is a friggen genius. They don't care about the penny skimmers..... Yet.

fonzannoon's picture

You are a friggen genius. Genius combined with a John Elway quality because you are staging a 4th qtr twtr comeback and I am desperately trying to hold tiny lead. Unreal you bastard!

knukles's picture

Fonz'll know this one...

It's a Crazy Eddie market, the "prices are insane"

fonzannoon's picture

hey knuks you got me into the waterboys (fishermans blues) a long time ago. thanks again.

knukles's picture

You got it, bro.
You welcome

FieldingMellish's picture

So.... copper drops because supply may get interrupted (still no word about damage to mines), USDJPY and EURJPY soar because... well just because and SPY flies because of the previous because.... got it.

ZerOhead's picture

< Very bullish

< Very not bullish

OK... "If bad news is good news; then devastating earthquakes are awesome..."

Then what would a thermonuclear war with the rest of the world look like for the markets?

fonzannoon's picture

You know whats funny is I have not seen one post from thismarketisrigged since this story broke

furgheddubouddit's picture

I'm not sure about the impact of the earthquake, but the main dynamics currently in play are simple:

Japan prints trillions upon trillions of Yen ---> these printed Yen are immediately directed offshore into US & Euro equity and bond markets ----> Yen plummets -----> stocks soar -----> bond yields crash.

This is the only reason Yellen has been brave enough to persist with the taper; she has simply passed the 'printer-in-chief' mantle on to Kuroda, who has taken it up with gusto.

disabledvet's picture

that's CON GUSTO (or is it just con?) to you mister!

disabledvet's picture

as long as the USA and Russia work together on this that should be great news actually.

Of all the madmen in this world for whom "everything is now coming into super focus" the last one I would have picked was me.
Nay, veerily...here I am...laughing my balls off at the hapless Democrats and the feckless Republicans all celebrating the New Normal of "do nothing-ism" and declaring it...Victory!

I mean Bush III versus Clinton Redux?

If Ron Paul can't come out swinging against this and get his HIGHLY capable son elected President I'm gonna be a might disappointed in meself.


disabledvet's picture

"it's the end of the world as we know it. Ittttt's the end of the world as we know it. Iiiiiits the end of the world as we know it.

And I feel fiiiiiiiiiine......

Dr. Engali's picture

Krugman and the broken window crowd are beside themselves stroking the evening wood.

knukles's picture

Splooge alert
The pages of the New York Times will be inseparable
Western economies ready for 50% growth
Fuck the weather
Pray for disasters, war, famine, tsunamis, quakes, cyclones, death , dismemberment and destruction

Pure Evil's picture

Then if that's true, then that island with the volcano over in the Canary Island chain that's ready to drop half the island volcano into the Atlantic ocean sending a 100 ft tsunami wave to the Eastern seaboard should be quite a hoot.

And Calipornia thought it had all the fun.

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

ive always been terrified wot would happen if a trrrst detonated a number of charges along that faultline

Himins's picture

Simpler still, just carpet bomb the entire eastern sea board under the guise of "Job Creator"

Mr Pink's picture

You gotta love how this market sees everything in such a positive light. Maybe it isn't rigged at all. Maybe the market read "The Secret".

Have all you negative Nellies ever thought of that?

Dr. Engali's picture

Mmmmmkkkkkkkayyyyy..... Skynet can read now, but it can't be rigged. Makes perfect sense to moi.

Pure Evil's picture

Dude, the secret's been out for quite a while.

Everyone by now knows Obama's a homo and Michelle's a Wookie.

hobopants's picture

Bad news has become the equivalent of the fed ringing the fucking dinner bell. The market will salivate until the conditioned response is turned from chow time back to a healthy fear of a beating.

khakuda's picture

Oh my God, I was thinking that exact same thing, to the word. I think I need a break from ZH. Picturing the Kruge whacking off is not the direction I want my life going.

Dr. Engali's picture

I tried that once. The withdrawals were horrible and it's not like you can go to CNBC for a methedone treatment either.

knukles's picture

What? You tried wacking off the Krugster?


Dr. Engali's picture

I can't help it. I have a bearded potato fetish.

Pure Evil's picture

Of course, offering a reach around is the proper thing to do while porking a bearded potato in the ass.

dirtyfiles's picture

empty of emptinessss..or somting like this

Milton Waddams's picture

Record amounts of liquidity sloshing around the planet but stuck in the roach motel, lest it enter the "real economy"... which means the punch bowl is increasingly at risk of being taken away.

asteroids's picture

The PPT always steps in when things like this happen after hours.

yogibear's picture

PPT, William Dudley's infinite Fed money pouring into stocks.

Japan's starting to see real inflation kicking into high gear.



yogibear's picture

The S&P  would really spike higher  if Yellowstone blew.

Hongcha's picture

Tell me what in this krazee kulture deserves to last one hundred years, still less a thousand.  The generations to follow us will curse us as mealworms who stripped the planet.

Pure Evil's picture

Umm, I doubt it.

Most of the morons today have no knowledge of history beyond what's on their smart phone or what they learn from watching the Daily Show.

And, if Idiocracy is prophecy, then the only cursing going on will be when Brawndo runs out of electrolytes.

NDXTrader's picture

Funny thing is...this isn't even the silliness being talked about since Sunday. This is a computer taking a leap in copper to mean good news in China to mean risk-on to mean buy USD/Yen to mean buy S&P Futures. Illegal? It should never be. But it shows you why we are going to wake up one day and the market will simply be closed

undertowed's picture

Just dazed and confused. Can't make this shit up.

FiatFapper's picture

risk off -> sp500 up

risk on -> sp500 up

it's relentless

Ness.'s picture

Risk?!  There is no risk. Within 24 hours we've seen nothing but economic misses by the largest 'economies' on the planet, a pending global petrodollar shift and a fucking earthquake... and we rip higher?  

Desperate times call for desperate measures.


You'll pass along witnessing these events as wisdom to your kids.



BeanusCountus's picture

Theres a message in here somewhere. But I cant figure it out.

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

its that levitating equities are representative of the same dynamics as the zimbabwean and venezuelan stock markets, and not reflective of anything positive or valuable

Trillian:  "Anything you still cant deal with is therefore your own problem"

dexter_morgan's picture

Moar earthquakes! Of biblical proportions to get thing really moving up!

thismarketisrigged's picture

wow, this news is fucking awesome.


earthquake in chile, but NO MAJOR DAMAGE, that is awesome news, remember guys, the market did not price in a earthquake with no damage, so once they price that in, s&p should hit 1900 tomm and the dow should hit 17.000 by friday.


awesome news.


im still waiting for them to find flight 370, then we can really get a major ramp.

fonzannoon's picture

Where you been man you are the talk of the town ever since 60 mins!

Ness.'s picture

Haha.  I was getting worried about ole' rigged too.


Hang in there rigged.. we're almost there.  

thismarketisrigged's picture

ha, ive been on here daily, just have not posted much past few days as i am, like many people, out of words to describe this bullshit that happens on a daily basis.


its like, it does not matter how far the ''market'' falls, because you know a few days later, all major indexes will have erased there losses and added some.


and in regards to the 60 minutes segment, zerohedge deserves a ton of credit as they have been the ones exposing this nonsense since 2009. its nice that finally people are coming around to this .

Pure Evil's picture

Wouldn't it be funny if Michael Lewis was the nom de plume for Tyler Durden?

And, the guy on CNBC was just an actor since Tyler is incognito.

knukles's picture

Have you ever seen Tyler and Michael together?
Huh huh huh huh huh huh?

sunny's picture

"but it is the price action in JPY (and therefore implicitly US equities) that is just farcical - and no, there's no news, no China stimulus, no Japan stimulus, no data... just this utter insanity..."  Say, isn't this the definition of a blow-off top?