WTF Wal-Mart Headline Of The Day

Tyler Durden's picture

Quite frankly, we are stumped...


And rock'n'roll?


Bloomberg provides a little more color...

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the world’s largest retailer, was sued by shareholder Trinity Church Wall Street, which seeks to force the board to exercise greater oversight of high-capacity weapons and sexually charged music.

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Big Corked Boots's picture

Another gun control stunt?

And that music kids listen to these days - Satanic, I say.

Atlas_shrugging's picture

Well as long as there is sex and drugs I can do without rock n roll

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

DeBlasio behind this?'s a church.


daveO's picture

CHINO, Church in Name Only.

fonestar's picture

Churches with high capacity pews are anti-constitutional.

knukles's picture

When Desmond Tutu says its fucked, it's fucked

0b1knob's picture

Walmart allows people to camp in its parking lot overnight.

How long before some degenerate camper commits a crime and deep-pocket Walmart gets sued for facilitating the criminal?

Stackers's picture

I thought they found the Treasure of the Knights Templar under the church ? What do they need investments for ?

Disenchanted's picture

Nice work...if you can get it.



The Rev. Dr. James Herbert Cooper (the Rector)

  • Annual salary in 2011: $475,000, with pension and rectory included, $1.3 million[3]


Abitdodgie's picture

So they dont want us to have high cap mags, but they are cool with the government been able to destroy the world 10 times over with nukes, this church must be  501c3 and have taken the 30 pices of silver.

Ariadne's picture

As long as there are guns you can do whatever you want.

Oldwood's picture

No Sex, No violence? If you think the economy is bad now, just wait....

JPM Hater001's picture

If we force unionization of all ZH bloggers I think we can go for all three here...

Angus McHugepenis's picture

JPM - Sent you a request via ZH. If you don't get it or notice it email me at

No worries, I separate the wheat from the chaff on that email.

HoofHearted's picture

I would suggest a first of April stunt...

El Vaquero's picture

The problem is, there is so much DERP in the world today, it's tough to tell.  It would be funny if it is, and sad if it isn't.

Headbanger's picture

Just a stunt to get stupid believers to give money to the church. 

What a scam.

Wal Mart should stop selling Bibles to really piss em off!

drendebe10's picture

"Kill all the lawyers."   Shakespeare

Spumoni's picture

Nah - Trinity's a Whiskeypalian Church. Walmart screwed up by refusing to pay Trinity's property tax bills for the year, so now its the Devil's Hairpiece (Hell Toupee) for the Waltstones. Waddaya expect when you're (literally) at the top of Wall St.?

Deathrips's picture


Destroyer of local economies, rapist of local business and profit whore deserves to be sued. Then we should do the same to the church...all churches.


Personal preference like owning something, listening to something, not so much.


They keep dishing it up , cause the people keep eating it.



mntmn3's picture

Same Bill of Rights that keeps the church's doors open and tax free says the right to bear arms shall not be INFRINGED.

"Trinity is located near Zuccotti Park, the location of the Occupy Wall Street protest. It has offered both moral and practical support to the demonstrators but balked when church-owned land adjoining Juan Pablo Duarte Squarewas demanded for an encampment." - wikipedia

GetZeeGold's picture



Lock and load and rock and roll.

Shad_ow's picture

Catchy.  I like it.


Note*  Why don't they just sell the stock?  Is money more important than principles?

Dollarmedes's picture

Probably another socialist shakedown.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

I wonder if this church habitually stands up and claps whilst swaying side to side in a loud and passionate manner?

Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

HArdly, there you are as WASP as it gets.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

You apparently don't know what that acronym means, or at least are unfamiliar with the middle two lettters. 

Spumoni's picture

WASP is redundant. Deliberate cloaking out in the open. One cannot be Anglo-Saxon without being White. What they really are are ASPS, more recognizeable for the poisonous legless bastards that they truly are...

El Vaquero's picture

I wonder if they fall to the ground and convulse whilest speaking gibberish. 

Haus-Targaryen's picture

Bullish for medical services.

Quus Ant's picture

But every day low wages are a- ok.

khakuda's picture

I thought they were suing because the unions have successfully kept Walmart out of NYC, forcing all to pay higher prices than necessary.

Confused's picture

Maybe the church needs another renovation. Got to keep in the publics mind. Or get the money the American way....sue. 

lasvegaspersona's picture

yeah...where are the high capacity mags Walmart?...all I ever see are huntin' tactical whatsoever....I may join the suit....

Wahooo's picture

Saw Windham and S&W there the other day

schooltruth's picture

I'd suggest this is a strong competitor for headline of the day - - real-time crab pricing raises $5 mil??? Aims to turn crabbing into the next bitcoin?

centerline's picture

Fonestar is going to get the crabs?

813kml's picture

Doubtful, that would require interaction with real-life icky girls.  Or boys.

centerline's picture

Teg Nugent is gonna love this one.

Manipuflation's picture

We don't have any hi-cap weapons.  Dave's not here either.

Spumoni's picture

Dave? I'm looking for my Labrador Black...