WTF Wal-Mart Headline Of The Day

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Quite frankly, we are stumped...

  • *WAL-MART SUED BY TRINITY CHURCH WALL STREET OVER GUNS, MUSIC

And rock'n'roll?

 

Bloomberg provides a little more color...

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the world’s largest retailer, was sued by shareholder Trinity Church Wall Street, which seeks to force the board to exercise greater oversight of high-capacity weapons and sexually charged music.

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Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:48 | 4614066 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Another gun control stunt?

And that music kids listen to these days - Satanic, I say.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:52 | 4614081 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

Well as long as there is sex and drugs I can do without rock n roll

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614100 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

DeBlasio behind this?

wait...........it's a church.

nevermind

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:02 | 4614116 daveO
daveO's picture

CHINO, Church in Name Only.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:14 | 4614154 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Churches with high capacity pews are anti-constitutional.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:24 | 4614187 knukles
knukles's picture

When Desmond Tutu says its fucked, it's fucked

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:27 | 4614199 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Walmart allows people to camp in its parking lot overnight.

How long before some degenerate camper commits a crime and deep-pocket Walmart gets sued for facilitating the criminal?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:41 | 4614251 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Peak lawyers

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:43 | 4614258 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I thought they found the Treasure of the Knights Templar under the church ? What do they need investments for ?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:37 | 4614229 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Nice work...if you can get it.

 

 

The Rev. Dr. James Herbert Cooper (the Rector)

  • Annual salary in 2011: $475,000, with pension and rectory included, $1.3 million[3]

 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:32 | 4614210 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

So they dont want us to have high cap mags, but they are cool with the government been able to destroy the world 10 times over with nukes, this church must be  501c3 and have taken the 30 pices of silver.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:00 | 4614112 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

As long as there are guns you can do whatever you want.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:07 | 4614132 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

No Sex, No violence? If you think the economy is bad now, just wait....

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:21 | 4614177 geotrader
Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:14 | 4614153 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

If we force unionization of all ZH bloggers I think we can go for all three here...

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 00:49 | 4629372 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

JPM - Sent you a request via ZH. If you don't get it or notice it email me at angus@hush.com

No worries, I separate the wheat from the chaff on that email.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:53 | 4614090 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

I would suggest a first of April stunt...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:57 | 4614104 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

The problem is, there is so much DERP in the world today, it's tough to tell.  It would be funny if it is, and sad if it isn't.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:25 | 4614191 SunRise
SunRise's picture

Hmmmm, April Fools

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614095 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Just a stunt to get stupid believers to give money to the church. 

What a scam.

Wal Mart should stop selling Bibles to really piss em off!

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614099 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"Kill all the lawyers."   Shakespeare

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:26 | 4614195 Spumoni
Spumoni's picture

Nah - Trinity's a Whiskeypalian Church. Walmart screwed up by refusing to pay Trinity's property tax bills for the year, so now its the Devil's Hairpiece (Hell Toupee) for the Waltstones. Waddaya expect when you're (literally) at the top of Wall St.?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:19 | 4614252 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Walmart..

Destroyer of local economies, rapist of local business and profit whore deserves to be sued. Then we should do the same to the church...all churches.

 

Personal preference like owning something, listening to something, not so much.

 

They keep dishing it up , cause the people keep eating it.

 

RIPS

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 15:05 | 4614591 mntmn3
mntmn3's picture

Same Bill of Rights that keeps the church's doors open and tax free says the right to bear arms shall not be INFRINGED.

"Trinity is located near Zuccotti Park, the location of the Occupy Wall Street protest. It has offered both moral and practical support to the demonstrators but balked when church-owned land adjoining Juan Pablo Duarte Squarewas demanded for an encampment." - wikipedia

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:47 | 4614068 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Lock and load and rock and roll.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:08 | 4614133 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

Catchy.  I like it.

 

Note*  Why don't they just sell the stock?  Is money more important than principles?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:45 | 4614267 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Send lawyers, guns, and money, the shit has hit the fan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JOrocDWVp4

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:47 | 4614069 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Governmart..

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:48 | 4614070 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

Probably another socialist shakedown.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:49 | 4614072 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

I wonder if this church habitually stands up and claps whilst swaying side to side in a loud and passionate manner?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:50 | 4614076 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

HArdly, there you are as WASP as it gets.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:58 | 4614105 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

You apparently don't know what that acronym means, or at least are unfamiliar with the middle two lettters. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:29 | 4614204 Spumoni
Spumoni's picture

WASP is redundant. Deliberate cloaking out in the open. One cannot be Anglo-Saxon without being White. What they really are are ASPS, more recognizeable for the poisonous legless bastards that they truly are...

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:50 | 4614078 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I wonder if they fall to the ground and convulse whilest speaking gibberish. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4614101 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Bullish for medical services.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:59 | 4614080 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

But every day low wages are a- ok.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:53 | 4614083 khakuda
khakuda's picture

I thought they were suing because the unions have successfully kept Walmart out of NYC, forcing all to pay higher prices than necessary.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:53 | 4614085 Confused
Confused's picture

Maybe the church needs another renovation. Got to keep in the publics mind. Or get the money the American way....sue. 

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:53 | 4614086 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

yeah...where are the high capacity mags Walmart?...all I ever see are huntin' guns...no tactical whatsoever....I may join the suit....

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:59 | 4614110 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Saw Windham and S&W there the other day

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 18:03 | 4615247 Slave
Slave's picture

Probably sold out.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:53 | 4614088 schooltruth
schooltruth's picture

I'd suggest this is a strong competitor for headline of the day - http://techcrunch.com/2014/04/01/krablr-raises-5-million-with-sequoia-pa... - real-time crab pricing raises $5 mil??? Aims to turn crabbing into the next bitcoin?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:54 | 4614094 centerline
centerline's picture

Fonestar is going to get the crabs?

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 14:09 | 4614348 813kml
813kml's picture

Doubtful, that would require interaction with real-life icky girls.  Or boys.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:54 | 4614092 centerline
centerline's picture

Teg Nugent is gonna love this one.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:02 | 4614117 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

Time for a 10 minute rock break.  Crank it up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQyDMLVSIWs

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 12:54 | 4614093 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

We don't have any hi-cap weapons.  Dave's not here either.

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 13:31 | 4614209 Spumoni
Spumoni's picture

Dave? I'm looking for my Labrador Black...

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