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Furious Russia Will Retaliate Over "Illegal And Absurd" Payment Block By "Hostile" JPMorgan

Tyler Durden's picture


While everyone was gushing over the spectacle on TV of a pro-HFT guy and anti-HFT guy go at it, yesterday afternoon we reported what was by far the most important news of the day, one which was lost on virtually everyone if only until this morning, when we reported that "Monetary Blockade Of Russia Begins: JPMorgan Blocks Russian Money Transfer "Under Pretext" Of Sanctions." This morning the story has finally blown up to front page status, which it deserves, where it currently graces the FT with "Russian threat to retaliate over JPMorgan block." And unlike previous responses to Russian sanctions by the West, which were largely taken as a joke by the Russian establishment, this time Russia is furious: according to Bloomberg, the Russian foreign ministry described the JPM decision as "illegal and absurd."  And as Ukraine found out last month, you don't want Russia angry.


The biggest U.S. bank thwarted a remittance from the Russian embassy in Astana, Kazakhstan, to Sogaz Insurance Group “under the pretext of anti-Russian sanctions imposed by the United States,” the ministry said yesterday in a statement on its website. Sogaz lists OAO Bank Rossiya, a St. Petersburg-based lender facing U.S. sanctions over the Ukrainian crisis, as a strategic partner on its website.


Interfering with the transaction was an “absolutely unacceptable, illegal and absurd decision,” Alexander Lukashevich, a ministry spokesman, said in the statement.


U.S. President Barack Obama announced the action against Bank Rossiya last month as part of a broadening of sanctions that targeted government officials and allies of Russian President Vladimir Putin, whose associates own Rossiya. The embassy’s transaction was for less than $5,000 dollars, a person with knowledge of the dispute said, asking not to be identified because such transfers aren’t public.

Did JPMorgan just move the second Cold War into semi-hot status? Very possibly:

Any hostile actions against the Russian diplomatic mission are not only a grossest violation of international law, but are also fraught with countermeasures that unavoidably will affect activities of the embassy and consulates of the U.S. in Russia,” Lukashevich said.

As we reported yesterday, for now the JPM party line is to plead ignorance, as it does not want to incur the wrath of the US government, because apparently lying to Congress is less of an issue than transacting with Russian oligarchs.

JPMorgan could still process the embassy payment if U.S. regulators approve, the person familiar with that dispute said.


“As with all U.S. financial institutions that operate globally, we are subject to specific regulatory requirements,” New York-based JPMorgan said in a statement. “We will continue to seek guidance from the U.S. government on implementing their recent sanctions.”


Russia’s Finance Ministry has done business with JPMorgan. It picked the lender to improve the country’s standing among U.S. credit-rating firms. Putin said in 2011 the rankings given to Russia were an “outrage” that increased borrowing costs for domestic companies and the government. JPMorgan also was among banks selected to advise Russia on a 1 trillion ruble ($28.5 billion) privatization program.

There's that. And then there's this, which we also said yesterday:

Wait, did JPM just take a unilateral action, not mandated by the state department (because nowhere in the Russian sanction list does it say putting a freeze on Russian bank transfers), and refuse to process a simple money transfer? Why? And if indeed JPM is doing this, how long until all other US banks, most of which are just as allegedly criminal in dealing with offshore sources of illegal money, follow suit and leave Russia entirely in the world when it comes to USD-backed transactions.


Because what JPM may have just done is launch a preemptive strike which would have the equivalent culmination of a SWIFT blockade of Russia, the same way Iran was neutralized from the Petrodollar and was promptly forced to begin transacting in Rubles, Yuan and, of course, gold in exchange for goods and services either imported or exported.


One wonders: is JPM truly that intent in preserving its "pristine" reputation of not transacting with "evil Russians", that it will gladly light the fuse that takes away Russia's choice whether or not to depart the petrodollar voluntarily, and makes it a compulsory outcome, which incidentally will merely accelerate the formalization of the Eurasian axis of China, Russia and India?

Once again: watch this space carefully - should more western commercial banks (here's looking at you Citigroup, Bank of America, and Citi, and of course "money launderer to criminals everywhere" extraordinaire HSBC) just say no to more Russian hot money, things get really interesting.... if for nothing else, then certainly the ultra-luxury end of the Manhattan real estate market.

Finally, we certainly can not be the only ones looking forward to the epic battle prospect that is Vlad "Shootin" Putin vs JP "Fail Whale" Morgan. Especially if it involves more such sudden moves in gold as what just happened.


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Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:03 | 4616578 Bill of Rights
Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:08 | 4616585 clymer
clymer's picture

"As will all US financial institutions that operate globally, we are subject to specific regulatory requirements.."

I thought you guys write the regulatory requirements?

Why can't zbigneiw, heinz and david R all just fucking croak already



Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:11 | 4616598 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



They're just bluffing.....they haven't even released the Obama files yet.


Fear the cuff-links comrades.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:13 | 4616616 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

lesson learned.

that's what happens to those who transact using units of "dollar"

give me control of international settlement/clearing, and I care not who issues the currency denominations

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:24 | 4616666 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

So JPM is probably among those banks "about to be indicted" and so wish to curry favor and show their "systemic importance".  Who is surprised by this?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:25 | 4616673 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

One has to wonder if they are just simply stupid or if they are deliberately poking the Russian bear in the eyes in order to provoke it to respond violently. Such response would then quickly be run through the Western World mass media propaganda war machine as an “unacceptable act of aggression” from Russia against the West therefore justifying more sanctions against Putin’s regime. It looks to me like the West really wants a war.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:32 | 4616702 Antarctico
Antarctico's picture

...are just simply stupid or if they are deliberately poking the Russian bear in the eyes in order to provoke it to respond violently...

Who needs violence when there's polonium? A sprinkle here and a sprinkle there, a banker or two goes down, and problem solved.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:34 | 4616709 Looney
Looney's picture

Jamie Dimon may end-up jumping off the ledge with a nailgun firmly lodged into his skull ;-)


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:41 | 4616739 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture




JPM declares war on Russia.

This will be fun to watch. 

Russia will turn all its electronic intelligence and hackers on JPM.

War without blood. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:43 | 4616745 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Everyone was gushing?

I almost feel like a little girl.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:45 | 4616755 Looney
Looney's picture

A Pure Evil little girl? ;-)


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:50 | 4616775 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, personally, I would have preferred orgasmic as in:

While everyone was orgasmic over the spectacle on TV of two little girls going at it over HFT.

Almost sounds like a naked pillow fight between sorority girls.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:28 | 4616950 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

This is nothing more than a battle between two crime syndicate's ( West Vs. East Banksters) which which make up The Global Criminal Oligarch Cabal Banking Intelligence Crime Syndicate.

They're "all in on it" at the highest Compartmentalized Elite. We're just the cannon fodder. Divided & Conquered.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:39 | 4616984 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Whatever you are say about Russia, JPM is spawn of Satan, agent of Rothschild. But still when forces of evil are battle together, always is at expense of citizenry.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:57 | 4617063 philipat
philipat's picture

Boris, and Putin's Billions are stored in Moscow? Absolute power corrupts absolutely? But he seems like a nice guy...

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:54 | 4617720 Manthong
Manthong's picture

"illegal and absurd."..

I thought he was talking about the entire Obama administration.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:38 | 4618987 wintermute
wintermute's picture

Odds on Russia declaring that JPM is a terrorist organization?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 19:56 | 4619252 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Odds that JPM declares Russia a terrorist organization? Oh, wait...

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:12 | 4617121 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture


Time to move back to the "safety" and "security" of Cyprus.

At least it is warm there, and the Black Sea Fleet is not far away in Crimea.


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:15 | 4617141 CH1
CH1's picture

Someone please fly Fonestar to Moscow. He'll explain to Vlad precisely how to fuck the US money monopoly in one easy step!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:29 | 4617204 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

He's busy trying to find buyers for his money from heaven. ... It's taking a swan dive.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:33 | 4617216 Keyser
Keyser's picture

So JPM is probably among those banks "about to be indicted" and so wish to curry favor and show their "systemic importance".  Who is surprised by this?

JPM has a perpetual get-out-of-jail-free card. This became evident when they were implicated in the Bernie Maddoff ponzi scheme. Dozens of complaints were filed against JPM with the DOJ, but amazingly so, the DOJ has refused to act on any of the complaints or even investigate them. As you say, who is surpised by this? No one. 



Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:15 | 4617571 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

only one person in this world got balls big enough to stand against tyrants.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:41 | 4617669 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

I want to know who that 4 Trillion the vatican seized really belonged to.

Things are heating up.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:20 | 4617153 Unknown User
Unknown User's picture

The gloves are off in the second round of Banksters vs. Russia.  Pray for Russia because the alternative is nuclear war.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:37 | 4617236 Aussie V
Aussie V's picture

I honestly think that Obama and his new wave of University educated but real world dumb administration, think they can push Putin into a corner and over come Russia without getting a scratch.

They're playing with fire but, think they have the only box of matches!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:27 | 4617819 SF beatnik
SF beatnik's picture

University credentialed. 


University educated? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:43 | 4617898 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

They're playing with fire but, think they have the only box of matches!


Aspiring Cub Scout pyromaniacs with matches vs. a platoon of Spetsnaz with flamethrowers......   wonder how that's gonna turn out?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 20:09 | 4619315 hobopants
hobopants's picture

Increasing nationalism is a sign of desperation and reaction to cracks in the system. The american fable of equality and world peace through violence and coercion is coming to it's logical conclusion. The dollar is the last bastion of hegemony and with it's demise we reset the gameboard.

The question is, what's next?


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:14 | 4617166 Blazed
Blazed's picture

No doubt, and the international ethno-mafia will get their territory/resource wars.

Sheldon Adelson, War Party Oligarch

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:12 | 4617776 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"play both sides of the trade."

that's how Goldman did it. So lets go long on "both sides beating the crap out of each other."
Seems pretty simple.

JPM might be one thing...but GE and Citi...they've got shareholders to report to.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:34 | 4616966 CuttingEdge
CuttingEdge's picture

I'd rather see the nail-gun lodged firmly up Dimon's arse, to be honest.

Either way we could all give this a rendition in sympathy:

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:31 | 4617212 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

I'm starting to think either we have globalists hell bent on blowing up the system and are overtly and covertly working towards that aim - or else we have the unbridled hubris combined with abject sociopathy fueling this.


I look forward to Russia just working around this and starting new systems with the BRIICS nations in whole or in part. The west needs everyone on their system way more than everyone need's the west's system.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:46 | 4617260 Keyser
Keyser's picture

It is a fact that the western banking cabals are trying to blow up the system. All one has to do is look at economic policy from the Fed and our wonderful political system. Their goal is to enslave the entire world in western hegemony. The only thing preventing this is the BRICS, which is why we are seeing economic attacks on the BRICS. This will not end well and unfortunately the player with the biggest stick is going to win. The question is, will there be anyone left in the end to raise a cheer in victory except the neo-com MIC types. For some reason, the final scene from Dr Strangelove pops into my mind. We must protect our Purity of Essense. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:25 | 4617624 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Best post yet! Agreed. Controlled collapse into ONE WORLD ODOR (theirs, not urs!)

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:35 | 4617656 JR
JR's picture

Well said.

Once again this is proof that the crisis over Ukraine is banker created and banker sustained. It is not a dispute between Russia and the Ukrainian people. It is a dispute between the controllers of the European Union, the Federal Reserve Banks and its owners, and the Russian Federation.

These times do not see any respect for justice, or international law, or a quest for peace, only the relentless drive of the spirit of the Rothschilds to control the world’s labor and resources as in Dr. Carroll Quigley’s dream of a unified world controlled by the plantation managers of the international bankers.

If anyone in the United States believes he is exempt from the tragic results of this worldwide military and financial aggression, he is sadly msinformed.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:19 | 4617794 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"you have to convince Putin that he wants to invade. Crimea no less."

Mission Accomplished.
Move along.

Finland and Sweden to join NATO?
NATO exercises within Ukraine itself?

Entire NATO fleet in the Black Sea itself?

Got tons of options.
The window is closing on Putin and the longer he waits the more the pressure gets put on.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:24 | 4617613 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the two are not mutually exclusive

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:45 | 4617679 Drifter
Drifter's picture

"I look forward to Russia just working around this and starting new systems with the BRIICS nations"

Yes, I suspect we're about to see large scale shift away from USD/Swift.  Jim Willie says Ukraine is Waterloo for USD petrodollar supremacy.

I believe China has enough gold now to launch gold-backed currency that would swiftly become defacto world reserve currency, even though US would fight it with everything they have (military), and it would be ineffective against a heavily nuclear armed nation like China (with Russia backing them up).

China is the "sleeper" in all this, laying low for now, letting Russia draw everyone's attention, but they'll burst forth and shock the world.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 14:11 | 4618039 PTR
PTR's picture

The ol' vanity and greed in effect.


"I want it all."  "I can handle this."

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 19:22 | 4619136 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

NATO exercises in Ukraine coming right up.

We're going in. Either Russia decides to do something abou it or "you've got NATO right on your front door."

The only "crazy pants" place is North Korea. Once you "take" Ukraine without firing a shot "all eyes on Un" who's been firing of artillery and rockets on a regular basis...and rumor has it will conduct a nuclear test sometime coming up.

that could be considered provacative enough to warrant some type of strike.

"all options on the political table" here.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:02 | 4617531 Caobei
Caobei's picture

While it's true US-EU have been encroaching on Russia's spehere of influence, for regional geo-political purposes, Russia must be taught a lesson, especially with Turkey destabilzing. The financial saber can be quite effective in reminding them of the world order and our reach with no political cost domestically. Russia doesn't want a war with anyone aside from its former satellites, because it knows the can attack with little fear of reprecussion from the satellite or the international community. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:22 | 4617802 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

they're about to get right in their ass.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:24 | 4617807 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

You should have just stayed under that rock.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:19 | 4618920 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Umm, have you considered the crashing arrogance of "Russia must be taught a lesson", let alone the result? Clearly Obama and his fuckwit sponsors and sycophants haven't or they wouldn't be doing it. I've felt since 2008 that the least bad loser in the whole sorry saga is going to be the winner, and I more convinced with every malign act perpetrated by TPTB.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:36 | 4621318 Keyser
Keyser's picture

And please tell us why there has to be a pecking-order in geo-politics or in banking for that matter? 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 17:37 | 4618807 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

They may or may not get war, but they will get the faster death of the Petero$. LOL

Like my father liked to say: "You can get nothing you bargained for and everything you didn't. Be careful."


“Who bargained for the guillotine?”

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:08 | 4618828 richsob
richsob's picture

Nobody in their right mind wants a war.  What bothers me is there is a segment of U.S. policy makers who would not be adverse to a war with Russia.  The truth is NATO + the U.S. and its other allies would steam roll Russia.  The Russian military is a shadow of what it used to be under the old Soviet Union......and Putin knows it.  China is in the same boat: they haven't fought a "war" since 1979 against Vietnam and they didn't exactly set the world on fire then.  The Chinese military would also be rolled in an all-out war against the U.S and its allies.  That, in my opinion, is NOT enough reason to have a war with either Russia or China but who knows what some crazy bastards somewhere are planning before the day comes when the U.S. might not be able to win a war against either of them?  (Note: I am not referring to a nuclear war; I am talking about conventional warfare.)

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:21 | 4618930 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Maybe. maybe not. The fact is though, I suspect that US/NATO might find there was a whole lot less support among the supposed allies than imagined before the match hits the touch paper.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:54 | 4619058 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

You may be right about what would happen in a conventional war but that won't be how it turns out. If it starts to get hot you will see a Russian or Russian/Chinese nuclear first strike. MHO

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 19:30 | 4619160 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

no on ever in their right mind wants war with Russia.

That's what's coming folks. Down arrow me all you's not like I'm banging on the war drums here.

Those Nuremberg Rallies were impressive though. "Didn't leave a lot to the imagination" as they say.

So sure...get a clue, the President is way down here and taking Ukraine proper will give a boost to the Dem's going into November. Although judging by this place it might only move the needle 1/2 of 1% would appear.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 06:08 | 4620405 silvermail
silvermail's picture

The U.S. Army does not have even one chance from a thousand in the war against Russia near the borders of Russia.
U.S. Army - this is the most incapable of fighting army in the world. U.S. Army without overwhelming superiority in the air, it's just a piece of shit. The U.S. Army is not able to fight in combat losses of more than 20 % of the personnel. Personnel losses of over 15 % is converted, will demoralized U.S. Army as any the crowd.
Without GPS and satellite communications, the U.S. Army is a bunch of blind, deaf and dumb targets for shooting exercises.
If you send the U.S. Army in Russia without GPS, then they just get lost and come out after 40 years anywhere in India.
The main principle of the U.S. Army War it is: impunity shooting unarmed opponent from a safe distance.
The U.S. Army used to be proud of his victories over the savages and Papuans.
I really, really , really want to see how the U.S. Army would fight against the Russian army. This will ensure the catastrophic and humiliating defeat of the U.S. Army.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 19:24 | 4619142 I need Another Beer
I need Another Beer's picture

Naaaw  man, they are just stupid or [oxymoron] the US govt is advising them

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 20:30 | 4619411 skepsis101
skepsis101's picture

You are of course correct in all respects but one.  They are indeed  "deliberately poking the Russian bear", but they are way too clever to trip the armageddon redline of nuclear exchange.  But first a little history.

The entire Ukrainian coup plot is surreptitiously being justified by a number of intersecting and overlapping themes.  The overriding and unspoken one is the imminency of a western financial implosion from 40+ years of unsustainable credit expansion, and the danger it impies for the US. The only way the petrodollar reserve currency can stay afloat and forestall that implosion is through a globally expanding MIC/military presence and superiority leading presumably and to Bush I's purported NWO.  But with the rise of Deng Xiaoping in China in the 1980's and the gradual acceptance of a "socialist market economy" the Chinese removed themselves from the primary enemy list, becoming the go-to nation for arbitraged wage labor.  Then the collapse of the Soviet Union and eastern Europe from 1989-1991 took the second leg out from under the entire raison d'etre of the MIC and its implicit doctrine of nuclear exchange/mutually assured destruction.

The West became desperate to re-invent an external enemy to justify the system.  But wait, we had a brilliant idea!  We made sure that Saddam Hussein, a former US State Department client, provided the catalyst we needed by encouraging his invasion of Kuwait in 1990, leading to the first and second Gulf Wars. And we simultaneously created and sponsored Al Qaida and Bin Laden as the islamic alter-ego. Thus we created the marvelously endless dynamic of opposing Sunni vs. Shia muslims, both of whom would be implicitly dangerous to American interests as the Islamic ME controlled over 50% of the world's energy reserves.  And the Middle East has been aflame ever since. But after now 20 years of demonizing Islam as the enemy du jour, public interest is waning.

America and the MIC had to find a credible replacement to re-energize the citizenry's attention and deflect it from the impending financial catastrophe.  What better way than to re-invent the Russian Bear.  Seventy years of whipping the "Red Scare' (1918-1989) proved to be an enormously profitable enterprise.  For the older generation, those born before 1960, enough of an historical memory exists in the American and Western European public's warped recollections to instill near instinctual fear and credibility of a rising Russian presence. And as for those born after 1960, no better time than now.

Nevermind that the collapsing  Sovet "empire" in the early 1990's ceased for ever to be even a congered threat.  Nevermind that Russia was then raped by the naive and delusional Boris Yeltsin when he invited first Yegor Gaidar (1993) and later Anatoly Chubais (1995) (JPMorgan/Bilderberger) to institute "shock therapy" by dissolving the entire socialized state apparatus by auctioning off virtually all national resources and state-owned companies for pennies on the dollar to a generation of young psycopathic oligarchs, ostensibly to instanteously transform Russia inta a functioning market economy.  Instead, it created massive hyperinflation and widespread impoverisation of the country (a template for the Ukraine?).

Yeltsin watched in awe for 8 years as his errors compounded and Russian society collapsed around him.  In August 1999 he named Putin as acting Prime Minister.  Three months later Yeltsin announced Putin was his preferred successor and then he resigned in disgrace.  Over the last 15 years Putin has systematically tried to de-commission the entrenched oligarchy, integrate the moribund economy into the global one, and modernize Russia.  By all measure, despite many as yet unflattering aspects of Russian society, through incremental reforms Russia became one of the fastest growing economies in the world, and all despite the overhang of the last century of Russia's tortured historical experience.

So where does that leave us today?  In 1989 Pres. Reagan and European leaders promised Gorbachev (the intellectual father of the Russian renaissance and escape from totalitarianism) that as the Soviet Union dissolved, that the defensive justification for NATO would disolve with it, and NATO deployments would never move into Eastern Europe to threaten Russia.  And where are NATO troops, bases, or exercises today, 25 years later.  In Eastern Europe they are in Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Slovenia, Romania, Bulgaria, and Croatia, all once Russia's purported allies in the Warsaw Pact.  Among those countries that had been part of the Soviet Union in 1989 they are also in Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, and Moldova.  And additional American bases, troops, or exercises are in Kyrgyztan, Tajikstan, Uzbekistan, and Georgia (all formerly part of the former Soviet Union), not to mention in Afghanistan, Turkey, Pakistan, and Mongolia (imagine, land-locked east-asian Mongolia becoming a part of the NORTH ATLANTIC Treaty Organization)!  Is it any wonder why the Russians question the United States and its adjunct NATO participants intent as anything other than threateningly encircling them.

Just for a minute consider our response to Russia placing troops, bases, and military exercises in let's say Bermuda, Cuba, New Brunswick, Saskatchewan, Chihuahua, Quebec, Sinaloa, Alberta, Jamaica, the Bahama Islands, Dominican Republic, Ontario, and Baja California.  Wouldn't we be scared shitless, and really, really, really ticked?

  • Well, for a whole host of reasons UKRAINE is the last straw.  And Russia cannot, should not, and will not ever allow NATO bases (especially missile bases) to threaten it from the Ukraine.  And why is it the last straw?  Because the northeastern border is a mere 400 miles from Moscow.  How many minutes by a modern ICBM do you think that is?  Allowing it is nothing less than national suicide, or complete surrender.  The United States knows that, and Russia knows that.  So in a game of chess the American staged coup just made its move one stop short of "Check", forcing Russia to play the game, and respond first with its own "Check"!

Russia has unfortunately been forced into the very frustrating and perilous gambit of saving itself by invading the eastern Ukraine where over 8 million ethnic (by birth) Russians live, and where over 65% of the population voted for the legally elected (and now overthrown by the American engineered coup) President Yanukovich.  And it will have no choice but to do so.  And it will find the pretext, however unconvincing or unpleasant.  And both America and Russia know this.  And there will be no nuclear conflagaration as a consequence.  

So what has really happened?

  • America made Russia choose.  Become an international pariah, resume the mantel of thuggish bully or total capitulation and submission to the West.  Nothing less.
  • Alternatively, absent submission, Russia has no choice, first by words and diplomacy, to try to back off the West (which they will not be able to do), but then ultimately to invade.

So what does America gain?

  • It gain's a new "enemy" to energize its masses and deflect its own internal problems.  
  • It severes or severly damages the growing business relationship between Europe and Russia. 
  • It upends the growing and increaingly competitive Russian economy.  
  • It finds a Ukrainian martyr to hold up to the world stage, as well as demonstrate Russia as an outcast and unreliable member of the world community.  
  • It makes space for the overthrow and destruction of Syria and the building of the gas pipeline from the Persian Gulf states to Turkey and Europe.
  • It provides a pretext for pursuing the same scenario in oil-rich Venezuela (just as happened in Libya and Iraq). 
  • It provides a consummate excuse to abandon prudent budget sequestration and re-up military spending.  
  • It thus juices the MIC/CIA/NSA budgets as well as corporate America.

I mean what more could America ask for, and all for a mere 5 Billion dollar investment.

Remember many readers here at ZH are a rarified bunch.  At times it becomes something of an echo chamber.   But monopolized western propaganda mass media, coupled with deliberate social distractions, and stressed wage/income contraction leaves 99% of the populous either essentially anaethsetized, or at best woefully malinformed.  Aternative news sources probably reach less than 1% of the population.  ZH is the 1% of that 1%.  Americans will rise to the occasion and hate all things Russian once again.  But there will be no nuclear armageddon.  Everything is just as planned.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:18 | 4617789 SDShack
SDShack's picture

I think the West knows something is about to drop, and TPTB are worried big time about it. Just look at the headlines the last 48 hours. HFT is bad is all over the place. That is an absolute sea change from the last 5+ years. JPM (which is under investigation) just cancels Russian Payment Transfers in a pre-emptive strike "alledgedly" tied to US sanctions, when US sanctions don't prescribe such actions at all. Now we have Russian retaliation. All this against a backdrop of first Syria meddling, then Ukraine meddling, plus a Russian-China-India nexus potentially against the US Petrodollar. Something tells me all this posturing is in reaction to something bigger yet to come that hasn't been revealed yet. Makes me wonder what Russia has via Snowden that is possibly driving all this. Whatever it is, it must be big enough to make TPTB seriously consider war as an option given all the recent moves. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:53 | 4617949 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

war as an option ?!?!?!


I thought war was the GOAL - hell they've been trying for an all out conflagration for a decade.  The war with Iran meme was tried repeatedly under Bush/Cheney - complete with a Gulf of Tonkin redux.  That didn't fly so they've been pushing Syria - sadly THAT clusterfuck seems to be keeping itself confined instead of spreading so now we've got the whole Ukraine/Crimea/Russia mess.

When you've totally screwed the pooch - made a total mess of the monetary system, destroyed your nation's economy, and are running out of road for can kicking the traditional, historically proven answer is WAR!!!

Ultimately, this is all about controlling the more and more limited supplies of energy left in the world.  THAT was the goal of the neo-cons - using US force to maintain our 'dominance' in the world  - but we blew it in Iraq and bankrupted the empire (which is collapsing at an increasingly rapid rate).

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:29 | 4616690 PT
PT's picture

Did no-one warn Putin and friends of the perils of JPM, Squid and Co?  Is there a Russian translation of ZH?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:31 | 4616692 PT
PT's picture

I hope they didn't transfer their Cyprus funds there.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:45 | 4617013 PT
PT's picture

... and they keep buying gold but the price of gold keeps going down.  Oh noes! ( Or is it back up again?  I haven't been paying much attention ).



What will they do next?  I hope they don't try to short the most shorted stocks.  Maybe someone should warn them!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:02 | 4617085 philipat
philipat's picture

So long as the Paper futures markets control the price of Gold, it will remain the same. The CB's and their Agents, the BB's want it that way. So the question is, how to destroy that system??

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:27 | 4617198 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Putin could issue the executive order that for every dollar that Western banks refuse to transact he will purchase $10 in physical gold and take delivery. That would scare the begeebers out of the West.


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:52 | 4617286 tonyw
tonyw's picture

Ah but how will he pay for that gold??

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:51 | 4617485 Dollarmedes
Dollarmedes's picture

"But how many divisions does JPM have?" -Putin

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:45 | 4617905 caustixoid
caustixoid's picture

It's called NATO

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:53 | 4617497 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

US treasuries.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:09 | 4617553 ciscokid
ciscokid's picture

In oil and gas.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:53 | 4617942 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 17:40 | 4618811 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

That might trigger the West's W.O.P.R.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:42 | 4616740 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

All my JPM buddys are pussies and they know it.

Fat and doughy.

Put them in a room with Putin or any Russian (male or female) and they fold.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:48 | 4617266 Bunders
Bunders's picture


"Put them in a room with Putin or any Russian (male or female) and they fold."


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:11 | 4616858 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The Friends of Vlad club exports over 20% of the world's physical crude oil, that is a huge and stock and flow of real oil and fake money that if the Russians start retaliating could destroy the entire house that Rockefeller built as well as the European majors, and take down JPM and some other TBTFs absent Yellen printing like a crazy bitch.  

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:35 | 4616973 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

And Putin and friends know that all too well ...

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:19 | 4617584 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

We've been having difficulty accessing Glonass GPS because of recent solar activity. If Putin wanted to put the brakes on our energy sector's development I've no doubt he could scramble the Glonass data we receive.  Such a move would bring the industry to it's knees.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:19 | 4617159 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Good time for Russia to start a gold-backed money transfer system.  That would scare JPM.


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:20 | 4616907 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Reason enough to divorce themselves of the US dollar

Countries will  lose  playing the US dollar game. 


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:09 | 4617764 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Dollar or no dollar, lets check out some facts how Putin is going to retaliate without ever using any sanctions against America.....just a tiny bit of the retaliation using Mastercard and Visa as an example.

Mastercard total revenue in 2013 - USD 8.34bn ...

Visa total revenue in 2013 USD 10.42bn...

Total in 2013 : USD 18.76bn

Less: Revenue from Russia, according to Russian estimates - USD 4bn...

Total estimated revenue of Mastercard and Visa in 2014: USD 14.76bn (decline of 21.32% just from Russia) not mentioning lack of growth anywhere else.

New National Payment system on the horizon from Russia, will be called UEC, and should be ready in less than 6 months with a chip made by a Russian IT company (loss for Intel and others). 

"We are ready to the maximum. We have established the processing center, created a Russian chip manufactured by Sitronics - the chip is certified. An identification application has been made in compliance with all standards of international payment systems," Gref told Putin. 

Director General of the National Agency for Financial Studies, Guzeliya Imaeva, told Pravda.Ru that the project of the Russian national payment system has already passed the pilot stage, and the project is being realized. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:23 | 4616657 hungarianboy
hungarianboy's picture

Go get em Mr. Putin.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:57 | 4616774 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Putin got them already ...

Latvia...who are seeking compensation from Eurozone....for the Russians stopping the meat trade...

Cyprus....Resolution proposed by all opposition and signed by 34 deputies to continue trade with Russia and telling Eurozone to go "up yours"...

Moldova is next....

Wines from Moldova has been banned and almost one third was exported to Russia. It is impacting the local economy.

Moldova to face wrath of Russia:

Ukraine is already paying higher gas prices as their cost aside from chocolates being banned for export to Russia.

And then there is nice video at the NY Times:

Russia has closed border crossings to trucks and has shut two chocolate factories in Russia owned by the leading Ukrainian presidential candidate, Petro Poroshenko. Purchases of missiles from a Ukrainian factory have been canceled.

On Monday, Russia tried positive reinforcement in Crimea, the former Ukrainian territory that it now controls, doubling pensions and increasing public sector salaries, illustrating the financial benefits of allegiance with Russia.

Greece....Strawberry exports, being 50% of exports to Russia, and tourism for the barely breathing Greek economy are next....

PSE data suggest that the possible consequences for the Greek economy could add up to many billions of euros as they would affect several production sectors, as well as the service sector, such as tourism and transport, for example. Greek-Russian bilateral trade amounts to 6.5 billion euros per annum, while for this year Greece had been expecting some 1.2 million Russian tourists, whose average per capita spending last year came to 800 euros. At the same time Greece imports crude oil, fuel products and natural gas from Russia, totaling around 5 billion euros per year.

The impact of retaliation by Russia will have far reaching consequences on all and sundry across the Eurozone.

5 countries many more countries will Germany...oops....Eurozone lose and pay for......

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:16 | 4616885 holmes
holmes's picture

Who needs Greece for a vacation when Crimea is available?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:38 | 4618989 Strider52
Strider52's picture

I'm shocked, shocked I say, that nobody has come up with "Crimea River".

At least, I haven't seen it...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 00:30 | 4620080 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Ya gotta stop spending all that time away from the computer.


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:24 | 4616934 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

I'm sure this has been written somewhere below in the comments, but I haven't yet read to the bottom, but...

Currency wars lead to trade wars lead to.... (I forget the rest).

Buckle up passangers, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:34 | 4616964 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Iceland kicked out the Banksters. Soverign Western IMF Bank controlled Governments are following suit. It's a west Vs. East Criminal Banking War.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:06 | 4617341 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Wouldn't that be excellent. 


Although I would settle for Putin demanding payment for his nat gas in Gold. 

Why yes, I need 1 oz per 1000 Qbm.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:12 | 4617130 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

re "Greece....Strawberry exports, being 50% of exports to Russia"

Let them eat strawberry-short cake!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:29 | 4617203 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Eating too much strawberry short cake made of Greek strawberry, tenderly grown with German money, plucked by unpaid and now dead Bangladeshi and Pakistani immigrants, is injurious to your health, especially from the rejected Russian strawberries. #deglobalization at its best.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:56 | 4616794 mrdenis
Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:05 | 4616821 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



If you subtract the 6 million that lost their insurance it's more like 1 million....but still impressive for a single day in which the website was down repeatedly.


Any ACA trolls out there? Come know you want to come out and play.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:39 | 4617242 Puncher75
Puncher75's picture

Ha!  Funny how they could get so granular on the 7.1 million but don't have a clue about how many paid or are young.  Weird, eh?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:05 | 4618874 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Is that guy retarded, or what?

No wonder we're heading towards War.

Putin, lure Bath House to Russia, then arrest him for violation of anti-gay laws. That should settle things down a bit.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:10 | 4616603 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

No, no, JPM is NOT the trading house of the US gov/Fed Reserve. Nope.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:25 | 4616669 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture

Nor is JPM firmly in control of entire branches of the federal gov't. Jamie Dimon wearing presidential cufflinks to the London Whale hearing before the Senate Banking Committee, which then reneged on its word by not making Dimon take an oath to testify? That was just another coincidence.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:35 | 4616713 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

To bring it full circle, the HFT article cited the fact that many Russians worked on the HFT network and algos.  Methinks they might know a thing or two about linking into the system via back doors and screwing with things.  The online poker sites had back doors and there is no doubt that these trading systems have back doors.  The Russian techies may not be loyal to Russia but they sure do like to make some money.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:58 | 4616804 weburke
weburke's picture

techies are the threat actually, nothing says internal trouble like a virus in the electronic food stamp program.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:25 | 4617406 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So you are saying Jamie Dimon is President of the Criminal States of America?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:24 | 4616928 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Regulatory requirements? Is there such a concept at JP Morgan?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:03 | 4617535 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Regulatory DOA at The Morgue.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:23 | 4618936 caconhma
caconhma's picture

With world "leaders" like Putin and Zionist Banking Mafia agents (Obama, Kerry, Netanyahu, etc.,), I am afraid that things will go out of control very fast leading to a major nuclear exchange in a near future.

Putin has learned Qaddafi lessons very well! The man is in a corner. For him and his family, a nuclear exchange is still better than being lynched by zionist thugs. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:07 | 4616590 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Beautiful graph!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:31 | 4616696 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yes, just like "The rocket's red glare."

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:40 | 4616729 philipat
philipat's picture

What? From 1285 to 1292? We are down $100 in a few weeks as result of naked paper shorts by these fuckers. So I don't think that $10 will bother them that much..?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:23 | 4616922 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

Come on, can't we have just a little happiness? BTW the $100 drop didn't bother me. I know the end game.


Gold Bitchez

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:07 | 4616591 Croesus
Croesus's picture

C'mon Russia: 

You and China need to do something about the Gold market.

That is all. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:28 | 4616682 aleph0
aleph0's picture

Yup ... Gas & Oil for Gold and other goods.

The Chinese are laughing

The Germans : ...  Dear NY FED, can we send you a few planes to pick up some of our Gold .. please ?

As small as this incident may appear, it is as big as the Iran SWIFT ban.

... it makes it all too clear that "He who controls the monetary system, controls the world"


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:14 | 4617137 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Yes they can!

Gas for Gold.  Oil for Gold.  Bitchez!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:30 | 4616691 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Not yet!

I'm still stacking. Shut up, C, don't give them any ideas yet.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:04 | 4618870 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

OK, C, it has been enough hours for me to stack moar. You can release the Idea now, but I still want to stack.

Give them Hell, C!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:22 | 4616905 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I think Russia and China are largely happy with the gold market just the way it is.  They managed to pry over 1,400 tons of physical gold out the UK wankers (aka one of the lands of the Rothshits) last year at a nicely discounted price -- an that's just in exports to Switzerland for recasting, most of which then flowed East.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:25 | 4616936 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

While I agree that would be wonderful, it will never happen.  What WILL happen is vying to be the next reserve currency, which gives enormous power to the issuer.  Gold?  That brings honesty to transactions and ain't nobody got time for that if power comes with the chance at the other. 

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:08 | 4616593 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Furious. Angry words. Bitter russians. Aghast EU. Dead as Doorknobs Umericans....

What a crappy recepie. At least if there was a fight, make it for somethign worthwhile? A matter of principle. 

Lead by some frigging statesman who might at least shed a tear when his soldier dies?

Nowadays the brave men in office send of everyone elses sons and daughters to die, and bat not an eyelid or drop a tear.

I've seen the same in one in office cares a DAMN!


But we can laugh a little too, at the absurdity of it all...


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:13 | 4616617 Croesus
Croesus's picture

@ ORI: 

Vivek, my friend. While Rock & Roll may not be your cup of tea, the lyrics of this song ring true:


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:19 | 4616645 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

;-) Was a time I could scream "Stairway to Heaven" and "Roadhouse Blues" with the best of them!!!

I've heard a lot of Sabbath, but was mor einto Floyd, Deep Purple...

Listening now...War Pigs indeed, thanks for that Croesus...


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:59 | 4616746 philipat
philipat's picture

Pink Floyd and Led Zepelin go together. Class. But not Black Sabbath and Deep Purple...Purleese...Unless you want more reality TV??

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:00 | 4616750 philipat
philipat's picture

Fat finger. Apologies.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:04 | 4616823 therover
therover's picture

Glad you clarified that in terms of quality. Muscially, they are very far apart.

I love both bands.  At this point, Floyds Animals album (yes, I still call them albums !), should be listened to dilligently.

Pigs, Dogs, Sheep....very timely lyrics that resonate more today then when they were written.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:52 | 4617022 philipat
philipat's picture

Started watching Floyd, Zep, and indeed the Original Fleetwood Mac (Blues), Family, Cream, Fairport Convention etc. on the University circuit in the UK in the late 60's. Was that the best ever music scene or what?

Black Sabbath and Deep Purple were never in that circuit, Say no more??

PS. I don't remember much more than that.....

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:03 | 4617095 StupidEarthlings
StupidEarthlings's picture

I heard that "if you remember the 60's , you weren't there. "



I wasnt born wouldn't know. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 02:35 | 4620189 MEAN BUSINESS

Turn down that satanic devil sound would ya? I'm trrrrying to read about seriously mean business regarding another one of gawd's Firms, JP Morgan. 

signed, J Page @ The Firm 


"does anybody remember laughter?" asked Robert Plant in NYC 40 years ago...

ironic edit from wiki:

In the scene where Peter Grant is driven to the police station to be questioned about the theft from the safe deposit box at the Drake Hotel, he has his arm outside the police car. According to an interview conducted in 1989, he explained the reason he wasn't handcuffed was that the policeman driving the car used to be a drummer in a semi-professional band which had supported The Yardbirds on one of its US college tours in the late-1960s. Grant had at the time been manager of The Yardbirds.[3] The money stolen from the safe deposit box at the Drake Hotel was never recovered and no one has ever been charged.[5]

I wonder where "richer than you are" was that day. HAHAHA

The Song Remains The Same

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:50 | 4616764 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Clinton Fearon

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

Who stole the cookie?  The man's on fire

You stole the cookie from the cookie jar

Bring back the cookie we don't want to know why

Run, run, run, run but you just can't hide

You gonna run, run, run, run but you just can't hide


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:48 | 4619032 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

All good choices, but personally just can't keep Jethro Tull out of the cd player presently.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 15:31 | 4618360 free_lunch
free_lunch's picture

Thxs for sharing. Here's another

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:11 | 4616605 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

JPM hates Russia for it's unwillingness to play commodities the JPM way. in the same way Bank of America hates the eurozone for the EUR, for being what it is

the megabanks are the battleships of the financial empire, in the same way as the rating agencies are their destroyers

(hattip to Jesse's Cafe Americain for this wonderful mental picture)

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:26 | 4616675 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I like that analogy.  I'm going to borrow it, I think.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:29 | 4616686 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

The Khazars at JPM whose ancestors the Tsar threw out of Russia hate Russia.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 18:49 | 4619038 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Spot on!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 19:39 | 4619191 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

The Tsar didn't throw them out {though he should have}. That proved to be the House of Romanov's undoing. Instead, he forced MOST of them out of the cities, and sent them into the rual areas of modern day Belrus and the Ukraine. This is where the saying; "Beyond the pale" comes from.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:44 | 4617901 Sizzurp
Sizzurp's picture

Trade or war.  Looks like JPM wants war.  Gee, I wonder why they would want that?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:23 | 4616661 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

optimist, nothing changes until everyone with a paper claim demands physical.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:09 | 4617112 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

No one is going to demand SHIT! Those holding paper gold will never demand physical because they know there is none. To demand it effectively voids any pretend value paper gold might have. This is why the stock market is still up. The institutionals have no place else to go and if they get cold feet they will see the value of their portfolios fall through the floor. I used to think that the market was luring the retail trade back in, but I'm beginning to believe that is not true. Retail creates potential severe downward volatility. With the fed keeping this balloon inflated, retail only offers danger. Too many believing in reality can bring down the illusionary blimp.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:10 | 4616852 stant
stant's picture

need warning signs for tall buildings

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:24 | 4616927 HungryPorkChop
HungryPorkChop's picture

@BillOfRights:  Walk up to a bear thats already mad and poke it in the eye with a stick.  I guarantee you'll get a reaction.  100% Money Back Iron Clad Guarantee.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:48 | 4617688 Matt_Master
Matt_Master's picture

I really hope Russia start buying phyiscal silver to harpoon this sick old whale

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:50 | 4617693 Invinciblehandaxe
Invinciblehandaxe's picture

buy up the silver market and take delivery

kaboom jpm & ufsa

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 13:46 | 4617904 USA USA
USA USA's picture

The ussa is the most crooked, rotten, lying POS on the face of the earth, BUT, now you can definately add STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 16:09 | 4618540 ReformedBroker
ReformedBroker's picture

Adolf Putin sounding more like a petulant child who can't get his way.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:06 | 4616586 jubber
jubber's picture

Is the Gold move on the back of this or something else?

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:12 | 4616612 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Rumor has it they're going to audit Fort Knox this afternoon....but it's just a rumor.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:05 | 4616830 therover
therover's picture

Should have posted that yesterday for the April Fools joke of the decade.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 20:17 | 4619355 mt paul
mt paul's picture

quick aduit


nothing here 


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:06 | 4616587 Cursive
Cursive's picture

As I've said before, this is Putin's second biggest problem - Russia is an outsider to Western finance and can be isolated.  Good on him if he can use the ample Russian programmers to build his own financial infrastructure.  Of course, his biggest problem is that JPM et al can drop the price of a barrel of oil and crush Putin's petroleum economy.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:09 | 4616596 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

 country with enough draught horses can do without oil.

It just has not been tried in a long long time....


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:29 | 4616683 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Oh regional Indian

Look out for increased rates of cholera....

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:33 | 4616705 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Cholera? Oh Horseshit......uhhh...

Why? Cholera is waterborne...

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:50 | 4616780 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Oh regional Indian

Feces (in the water).  My general point is that livery animals create less sanitary conditions.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:56 | 4616796 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

True. But the smell of a stable....I'll take that shit over what oozes out of bank buildings anyday!

Have you shovelled horseshit? I have, it's pretty neutral. Humans are the stinkiest creatures, netherally speaking and have one of the most toxic bites to boot!

I love horses, so biased. And Dogs. And birds.

Like the mark twain quote somewhere here so kind...


Wed, 04/02/2014 - 09:02 | 4616816 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Oh regional Indian

Yes, I've been knee-deep in all of it (once cleaned out our septic tank).  Horseshit isn't that bad, mostly because it's just grains....anyway, you reminded me of this quote that was made in reference to the training excercises conducted in my state:

You won't have to cough and say, 'Well, your granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.' 

~ General Patton speaking to the US Third Army

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:57 | 4617303 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Used to grow and sell nightcrawlers raised in horse shit. It wasn't shit at all.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:32 | 4617643 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

dollar bills don't grow plants the way horseshit can

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 20:03 | 4619286 Aussie V
Aussie V's picture

GEORGE: Oh. It's just horse manure. Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word “manure.” You know, it's, it's “nure,” which is good. and a “ma” in front of it. MA-NURE. I mean when you consider the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing.

Wed, 04/02/2014 - 08:31 | 4616697 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I was just thinking about our local broom salesman this morning. Guy is 80 years old and sells top quality brooms free-lance style downtown for a low price. He is going to be happy!

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