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@LaVorgnanosense

Tyler Durden's picture




 

First this...

 

.... then this.

 

 

At least it's not this.

 

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Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:47 | 4621121 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

A tap on the shoulder perhaps?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:48 | 4621126 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

How does this douche even have a job....He makes more shit up than a weather man.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:54 | 4621135 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BAD THING IS WHEN YOU'RE TAKING A GOOD MORNING DUMP?

eventually... you run out of shit.

 

My grandpa used to say that when we where kids.

And before he went to the toilet, he always said: "AAHH, BEST PART OF THE DAY!" and off he went with his newspaper. We never saw him back before noon.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:13 | 4621218 fonestar
fonestar's picture

You want growth?  Bitcoin is falling into the $300s!!!

This is your chance to scoop up this world-changing technology cheap that is heading into the trillions (as the dollar collapses).

BUY NOW!!!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:24 | 4621271 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So is his use of 'we' supposed to add credibility to his statements?

No rationale needed, no explanation of where this 'full % point of GDP growth' is meant to come from?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:38 | 4621328 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

This is what he's saying: "Q1 grew 1% less than we thought it would.  Therefore, de facto, Q2 will grow 1% more than we previously expected it to!"

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:51 | 4621535 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

"I'm constipated, therefore my shit should be twice as large tomorrow."

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:42 | 4622059 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Contact the author at, "LaVorgna @ Lackey.gov".

We'll be seeing a LOT of this in the run-up to the elections.

Remember, If you like your senator, you can keep your senator.......PERIOD!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:24 | 4621272 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Better yet buy FBI-Coin or CIA-Coin!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:26 | 4621281 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Yes because the CIA and FBI actively works to destabilize the dollar (according to mentally feeble ZH posters)!!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:34 | 4621308 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

when you reference "feeble" are you looking in the mirror or down the barrel of one of your shotguns?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:03 | 4621399 Skin666
Skin666's picture

BTFD

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:05 | 4621408 RockRiver
RockRiver's picture

You want growth?  Bitcoin is falling into the $300s!!!

This is your chance to scoop up this world-changing technology cheap that is heading into the trillions (as the dollar collapses).

BUY NOW!!!

 

 

LOL!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:52 | 4621141 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Why stop there, Joe?   12% is as realistic as your number...

But hey, whatever gets you more clicks and airtime on CNBC.....

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:56 | 4621381 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

He is a little bit late -- April 1st was two days ago.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:02 | 4621178 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

I see what he is doing..... DB is downgrading their uber bullish look at Q1 GDP but going even more uber bullish on Q2 GDP... this must be because of the weather.... nevermind the fact that 90% of the US population is broke and indebted into their fucking eyeballs.  Yup... those 90% will keep spending...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:10 | 4621210 furgheddubouddit
furgheddubouddit's picture

Because making shit up IS his job!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:18 | 4621248 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

eCONomist.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:45 | 4621351 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Who gives a fuck about corporate growth when there's nothing but shitty jobs to be had (if one is 'fortunate' enough to find one).

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4621638 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

when a tree falls.....

when an asshole tweets .....

 

 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:47 | 4621123 Skin666
Skin666's picture

Lavorgna is a fucking idiot

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:55 | 4621160 New Survivalist
New Survivalist's picture

Dude looks like Moriarty.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:58 | 4621166 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

he looks like geithner...and both cocksuckers look like beavis.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:05 | 4621191 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Yep, the guy's a fucking weasel.  No offense to weasels.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:09 | 4621208 SanfordandSon
SanfordandSon's picture

None taken:)

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:15 | 4621234 Sam Spade
Sam Spade's picture

As I was watching Sherlock, I kept thinking, why does that insane Moriarty guy look so familiar?  Now I know.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:47 | 4621125 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

Imagine a world where you could make wild data speculations, be proven incorrect 90% of the time and get paid >$1MM a year...it exists!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:50 | 4621131 put_peter
put_peter's picture

They have a typo in the date.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:50 | 4621132 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It''s insane !!!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:51 | 4621136 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Looks like he has all the bases covered.

 

/eyeroll

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:51 | 4621137 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Hey Joseph A. LaVorgna!!!!

FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU FUCKING SCHWEINHUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:52 | 4621144 hegemony
hegemony's picture

Never right but he's paid to suck in the unwashed masses. That fivehead of his could have been the landing strip for the malaysian jetliner. Oh yeah, he's a giant pompour douche

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:52 | 4621146 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      Joe Bologna.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:03 | 4621147 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If ever there was a face that said punch me, I'm an annoying little prick.... his is it.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 19:45 | 4623251 thestarl
thestarl's picture

Agreed Doc,and after punching the living shit out of this prick condem him to working in an underground coal mine for the next 30 years of his life

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:53 | 4621148 Oscar
Oscar's picture

So what happened in those 27 minutes that caused him to revise his forecast by 2.2% (or approx $350 Billion)?  I assume his excel goal seek malfunctioned

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:53 | 4621151 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

like I posted in the other GDP thread nearly an hour ago:

 

"piece 'o cake.  Just go back and revise the old GDP numbers all the way back from 1913 to present.  Add a bunch of good shit...redact a bunch of bad shit.  Shift some numbers here and there...ya know, just like they calculate inflation.  And whoalla!!! 

Best damn GDP ever, bitchez!!!

Then just keep repeating that you're "Winning!!!" and deny all manipuflation and that anyone who disagrees are just uneducated, redneck, racists and you're good to go.

Isn't that how a successful economy works?"

 

***thanks for not letting me down "lavorgnanomics"...what kinda loser thinks he can combine his name with economics and be taken seriously? 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:03 | 4621183 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Word must be out that the newly-created GDP intellectual property component will be even moar massive !!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:32 | 4621299 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

" anyone who disagrees are just uneducated, redneck, racists and you're good to go."

Option #1: "Thats why I'm richer than you!"

Option #2: "Where did you study economics, Jan?"

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:05 | 4621403 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

S A

The GDP will NEVER be a problem again. There is a ton of activity that can still be 'imputed'.

Do you brush your teeth? Has that been counted as productive economic activity? No...we need a bump let's count all the strokes.

Hey....we had growth last quarter....see how easy that was?

GPD means NOTHING...it is a figment...like data from China....just a suggestion of how someone would like it to be.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:56 | 4621161 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

That's 21 weather-excuse tweets in the first 3 months of the year...almost 2 a week.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:58 | 4621162 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Does anybody have today's weather forecast handy?  I want to know if I should be buying or selling today.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:02 | 4621180 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

it's been sunny here in Florida all winter long, but it still sucks just the same. 

I guess some people's sunshine isn't as good as other people's sunshine.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:05 | 4621192 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

looks perfect out my way. maybe bad weather is good for growth?

or maybe good weather is bad for growth?
or maybe weather itself is the problem and we should ban weather "and all weather related activities"?

clearly we need to back end load this "very naughty boy" recovery either way...otherwise how else not to assuage our "correction prevention team."

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:58 | 4621167 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Can we get a professional MillionDollarBonus comment on this?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 10:59 | 4621170 B2u
B2u's picture

Who got to him?  What kind of threats did he receive?  

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:03 | 4621185 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

I would say it was sort of like the Frank Rizzo threat:

"you buy this fuckin' car or I break your fuckin' face"

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:01 | 4621175 Bosch
Bosch's picture

Fuck it, I'll take some of whatever this guy is putting in his coffee every morning.  

 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:02 | 4621179 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Ha ha ha ha more fake numbers from the fake economists who talk about the fake economy.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:03 | 4621184 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    I think Joseph missed his true calling in meteorology.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:52 | 4622106 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

@LaFornicantionofyerMOOLA

The Twittertwatting fuck......

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:04 | 4621188 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

We are adding a full point, because we just discovered we were using the old GDP calulation... The "never again recession" GDP calculation has been fully intergrated into our algo.   

 

Thanks again,

Joe

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:04 | 4621189 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Well done Tylers!

Now can you do the same chronolgy of emails for JPM and Goldman?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:44 | 4621193 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

I guess these revisions might cause frustration to someone if he wasn't totally fucking irrelevant.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:06 | 4621194 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Fed Jeremy Stein announces surprise resignation.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/fed-gov-jeremy-stein-announces-hes-resi...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:07 | 4621199 deeply indebted
deeply indebted's picture

WTF?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:08 | 4621200 SanfordandSon
SanfordandSon's picture

Is this guy from Colorado?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:09 | 4621206 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

""iiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllll  < pass it around, it's what he's smokin

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:09 | 4621207 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Fed Gov. Jeremy Stein announces he's resigning

 

Federal Reserve Governor Jeremy Stein, an increasingly influential official at the central bank with about four years left on his term, on Thursday announced he was resigning in a surprise move. In a letter to President Barack Obama released by the Fed, Stein didn't explain why he wanted to return to teaching at Harvard University's department of economics. "During my time here, the economy has moved steadily back in the direction of full employment, and a number of important steps have been taken to make the financial system stronger and more resilient," he said, adding there's more work to be done on both dimensions though progress has been made. The 53-year-old's resignation as governor of the Federal Reserve is effective on May 28. The Federal Open Market Committee already is down three members as it awaits the Senate confirmation of Stanley Fischer and Lael Brainard, and as Obama has yet to name a replacement for Elizabeth Duke. Stein had been influential in pushing the central bank to account for the risks to financial market stability in setting interest rate policy, and in particular was a leading voice in favor of tapering the central bank's bond-buying policy. Read the resignation letter. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:10 | 4621212 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Joey Baloney strikes again.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:13 | 4621215 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

He can't even add. He starts with 3.1%, goes down to 2%. Then adds 1% (to what?), and ends up with 4.2%. WTF?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:15 | 4621231 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

This guy drinks a LOT of kool-aid.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:18 | 4621249 basho
basho's picture

what a babbling fool

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:19 | 4621250 poor fella
poor fella's picture

AHHHhhhh Haaa Haaa Haa!!

What a fucking sTOOL. Is he going to give us the new hedonically adjusted formula? The one that uses a special dart?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:22 | 4621261 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Chief US Moron.  Idiot! 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:28 | 4621288 joego1
joego1's picture

Speaking of want to be weathermen I wonder if there is any correlation between El Nino and the economy?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:28 | 4621290 Seeking Beta
Seeking Beta's picture

LOL

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:28 | 4621291 jsmfr
jsmfr's picture

Whatever you think of LaVorgna, you have to be quite the moron to not understand that "current quarter" is Q2, and that what he did was cut his Q1 estimate and raise his Q2 forecast.  Not rocket science folks.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:29 | 4621292 topspinslicer
topspinslicer's picture

Which ever way the wind blows (aka it's the weather stupid!!) -- can I get his salary saying that?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:32 | 4621300 ramacers
ramacers's picture

insufferable fraud.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:32 | 4621302 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Lavorgnanomics. Narcissistic prick.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:03 | 4621306 headhunt
headhunt's picture

"We are revising down our estimate of Q1 real #GDP growth to +2.0% from +3.1% previously in light of the deterioration in net exports."

— Joseph A. LaVorgna (@Lavorgnanomics) April 3, 2014

"We are adding one full percentage of growth back to our estimate of current quarter real GDP which is now 4.2%.

— Joseph A. LaVorgna (@Lavorgnanomics) April 3, 2014"

 

Sorry -  just dropped some acid and pretty confused right now

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:47 | 4621357 brown_hornet
brown_hornet's picture

OT...Haven't heard from Boris lately. Did he go back to the Motherland and get sanctioned?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:49 | 4621361 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

“Turkey's Erdogan has decided to lift the ban on Twitter”

Replaces it with ban on LaVorgna.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:06 | 4621410 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Moron...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:46 | 4621510 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Betting big on WWIII?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:52 | 4621536 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Ignore this Joe and consider listening to the real Joe Lovano play the saxophone.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:04 | 4621577 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

Thank goodness he's not managing my money and I have my money invested with an HFT front-runner

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:05 | 4621866 Backtable
Backtable's picture

Frunt Bumper Douche Master.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:24 | 4622255 peaceful
peaceful's picture

Tyler he meant to say that he was adding full inch to his penis which is now at 4.2".. 

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