Tyler Durden's picture

First this...


.... then this.



At least it's not this.

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FieldingMellish's picture

A tap on the shoulder perhaps?

wallstreetaposteriori's picture

How does this douche even have a job....He makes more shit up than a weather man.

Sudden Debt's picture


eventually... you run out of shit.


My grandpa used to say that when we where kids.

And before he went to the toilet, he always said: "AAHH, BEST PART OF THE DAY!" and off he went with his newspaper. We never saw him back before noon.

fonestar's picture

You want growth?  Bitcoin is falling into the $300s!!!

This is your chance to scoop up this world-changing technology cheap that is heading into the trillions (as the dollar collapses).


Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So is his use of 'we' supposed to add credibility to his statements?

No rationale needed, no explanation of where this 'full % point of GDP growth' is meant to come from?

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

This is what he's saying: "Q1 grew 1% less than we thought it would.  Therefore, de facto, Q2 will grow 1% more than we previously expected it to!"

Yancey Ward's picture

"I'm constipated, therefore my shit should be twice as large tomorrow."

boogerbently's picture

Contact the author at, "LaVorgna @ Lackey.gov".

We'll be seeing a LOT of this in the run-up to the elections.

Remember, If you like your senator, you can keep your senator.......PERIOD!

Pladizow's picture

Better yet buy FBI-Coin or CIA-Coin!

fonestar's picture

Yes because the CIA and FBI actively works to destabilize the dollar (according to mentally feeble ZH posters)!!

wallstreetaposteriori's picture

when you reference "feeble" are you looking in the mirror or down the barrel of one of your shotguns?

RockRiver's picture

You want growth?  Bitcoin is falling into the $300s!!!

This is your chance to scoop up this world-changing technology cheap that is heading into the trillions (as the dollar collapses).





jcaz's picture

Why stop there, Joe?   12% is as realistic as your number...

But hey, whatever gets you more clicks and airtime on CNBC.....

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

He is a little bit late -- April 1st was two days ago.

wallstreetaposteriori's picture

I see what he is doing..... DB is downgrading their uber bullish look at Q1 GDP but going even more uber bullish on Q2 GDP... this must be because of the weather.... nevermind the fact that 90% of the US population is broke and indebted into their fucking eyeballs.  Yup... those 90% will keep spending...

Ignatius's picture

Who gives a fuck about corporate growth when there's nothing but shitty jobs to be had (if one is 'fortunate' enough to find one).

caShOnlY's picture

when a tree falls.....

when an asshole tweets .....



Skin666's picture

Lavorgna is a fucking idiot

101 years and counting's picture

he looks like geithner...and both cocksuckers look like beavis.

Sam Spade's picture

As I was watching Sherlock, I kept thinking, why does that insane Moriarty guy look so familiar?  Now I know.

PlusTic's picture

Imagine a world where you could make wild data speculations, be proven incorrect 90% of the time and get paid >$1MM a year...it exists!

put_peter's picture

They have a typo in the date.

Seasmoke's picture

It''s insane !!!

ptoemmes's picture

Looks like he has all the bases covered.



Rising Sun's picture

Hey Joseph A. LaVorgna!!!!


hegemony's picture

Never right but he's paid to suck in the unwashed masses. That fivehead of his could have been the landing strip for the malaysian jetliner. Oh yeah, he's a giant pompour douche

Yen Cross's picture

      Joe Bologna.

Dr. Engali's picture

If ever there was a face that said punch me, I'm an annoying little prick.... his is it.

thestarl's picture

Agreed Doc,and after punching the living shit out of this prick condem him to working in an underground coal mine for the next 30 years of his life

Oscar's picture

So what happened in those 27 minutes that caused him to revise his forecast by 2.2% (or approx $350 Billion)?  I assume his excel goal seek malfunctioned

Save_America1st's picture

like I posted in the other GDP thread nearly an hour ago:


"piece 'o cake.  Just go back and revise the old GDP numbers all the way back from 1913 to present.  Add a bunch of good shit...redact a bunch of bad shit.  Shift some numbers here and there...ya know, just like they calculate inflation.  And whoalla!!! 

Best damn GDP ever, bitchez!!!

Then just keep repeating that you're "Winning!!!" and deny all manipuflation and that anyone who disagrees are just uneducated, redneck, racists and you're good to go.

Isn't that how a successful economy works?"


***thanks for not letting me down "lavorgnanomics"...what kinda loser thinks he can combine his name with economics and be taken seriously? 

Rainman's picture

Word must be out that the newly-created GDP intellectual property component will be even moar massive !!

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

" anyone who disagrees are just uneducated, redneck, racists and you're good to go."

Option #1: "Thats why I'm richer than you!"

Option #2: "Where did you study economics, Jan?"

lasvegaspersona's picture


The GDP will NEVER be a problem again. There is a ton of activity that can still be 'imputed'.

Do you brush your teeth? Has that been counted as productive economic activity? No...we need a bump let's count all the strokes.

Hey....we had growth last quarter....see how easy that was?

GPD means NOTHING...it is a figment...like data from China....just a suggestion of how someone would like it to be.

Zerozen's picture

That's 21 weather-excuse tweets in the first 3 months of the year...almost 2 a week.

Al Huxley's picture

Does anybody have today's weather forecast handy?  I want to know if I should be buying or selling today.

Save_America1st's picture

it's been sunny here in Florida all winter long, but it still sucks just the same. 

I guess some people's sunshine isn't as good as other people's sunshine.

disabledvet's picture

looks perfect out my way. maybe bad weather is good for growth?

or maybe good weather is bad for growth?
or maybe weather itself is the problem and we should ban weather "and all weather related activities"?

clearly we need to back end load this "very naughty boy" recovery either way...otherwise how else not to assuage our "correction prevention team."

q99x2's picture

Can we get a professional MillionDollarBonus comment on this?

B2u's picture

Who got to him?  What kind of threats did he receive?  

Cacete de Ouro's picture

I would say it was sort of like the Frank Rizzo threat:

"you buy this fuckin' car or I break your fuckin' face"

Bosch's picture

Fuck it, I'll take some of whatever this guy is putting in his coffee every morning.  


Bill of Rights's picture

Ha ha ha ha more fake numbers from the fake economists who talk about the fake economy.

Yen Cross's picture

    I think Joseph missed his true calling in meteorology.