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Presenting America's 20 Best And Worst Paying Jobs

Tyler Durden's picture


While we fail to see any occupations listed for "insider trading hedge fund managers" or "high frequency market manipulators" in the just released list by the BLS listing the number of workers and wages earned for all official US occupations, we supposed it will have to do, incomplete as it may be.

Below, sorted by average annual wage, are the Top 20 best paying jobs in the US including the average hourly wage and also showing the number of people the BLS believes are employed in each,  seasonally adjusted of course.


And here are the bottom 20, or worst-paying, US jobs. It is here the the minimum-wage debate is most acute... As is the debate just how motivated the workers in these 20 occupations really are.


Curious how many total workers are employed in the Top and Bottom 20 jobs? Here is the answer:


What may be more surprising is that while there are 8 times as many workers in the worst paid bucket as best-paid, the total compensation paid to these two extreme groups is virtually identical.


Moral of the story: Don't become a line cook, kids, unless of course when one adds up all the welfare and insolvent state benefits provided to line cooks, the after tax cash flow matches or beats that of anesthesiologists.


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Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:28 | 4621463 Cattender
Cattender's picture

Walmart is Hiring cart fetchers..

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:30 | 4621467 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

What about fart catchers?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:34 | 4621471 zaphod
zaphod's picture

The top list is filled with professions that require exceling in school for decades and participating in residency programs through ones early thirties before making money.

The bottom list is filled with positions anyone off the street can do and are filled by people who mostly dropped out of school early of their own free will.  

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:39 | 4621492 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The top list includes mostly people protected by government supported monopolies; AMA, ADA, etc. Get government out of the picture and those salaries would fall in line with the required skills. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:52 | 4621537 davinci7_gis
davinci7_gis's picture

The bottom 20 will be filled by robots in 5 years!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:01 | 4621570 kito
kito's picture

the top 20 will be filled by robotics and AI in 20 years....assuming the world isnt in a permanent state of decline which will lead to the second coming of the dark ages. hooray!......

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:05 | 4621579 maskone909
maskone909's picture

terminator was a prophecy


god help us sarah connor

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:33 | 4621702 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"What about fart catchers?"~

Think brown nets and... sticky.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:48 | 4621764 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Don't see any federal "managers" or gubbermint rent a cops, school principles, or prison guards, on that list.

Grossed up to total compensation, they would dominate.

Also, how about college football coaches?

How about school superintendants, who do nothing but kiss the asses of the school board?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:55 | 4621812 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

This BLS list must be all occupations ex-public servants and ex-academia.  A list including those would result in revolution.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:24 | 4621965 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

How do these lists compare with similar lists in other countries?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:43 | 4622341 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Don!t forget congress muppets.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:19 | 4622472 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

"when one adds up all the welfare and insolvent state benefits provided to line cooks, the after tax cash flow matches or beats that of anesthesiologists"

Uh, no... this is not based on a 1:1 ratio of persons.  It says that the total compensation of a relatively small group is about equal to the total compensation of a large group.   Holy Telepathic Zombie Jesus, get your act together!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 23:39 | 4623836 August
August's picture

Australian medical specialists make more than the figures cited above.

I've seen medical jobs advertised publicly for 1M AUD per year.  The downside is that income tax on high earners is 46%

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 02:02 | 4623997 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

I'd like to be a doctor...or petrol engineer...but thinking makes my brain hurt.....

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:34 | 4622021 boogerbently
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"Moral of the story: Don't become a line cook, kids, unless of course when one adds up all the welfare and insolvent state benefits provided to line cooks, the after tax cash flow matches or beats that of anesthesiologists."


The GLOBAL problem, encapsulated.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:10 | 4622190 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Where is that thieving cunt, Suckerburg?

Looked for him but couldn't spot him...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:26 | 4622265 Keyser
Keyser's picture

The top list includes mostly people protected by government supported monopolies; AMA, ADA, etc. Get government out of the picture and those salaries would fall in line with the required skills. 

The medical profession is under attack by the very agencies which you claim are supporting them. The current state of tort laws in the US and the fact that medical malpractice insurance costs have gone parabolic is driving practitioners out of the industry. Couple this with reduced reimbursements from Medicare and Medicaid only exacerbates the situation. Then comes the law of supply and demand. Do you want a surgeon that graduated from La Universidad de Guatemala or Johns Hopkins? 



Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:39 | 4622320 Kickaha
Kickaha's picture

The "curent state of the tort laws" is that 98% of the malpractice (i.e. - anything that doesn't result in permanent disability or death) goes unpunished in any way.  The perps get away with it because the medical profession and its insurance carriers haves bought off their state legislators, who in return for massive campaign contributions have "reformed" tort liability out of existence for the overwhelming majority of injured patients.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:08 | 4622624 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

While mostly true, I would say the answer is even more fundamental than that...  at the end of the day, malpractice is still a really, really difficult standard (as it has always been).  No marginal case ever gets brought due to the burden of proof.  Further, most people don't really care about suing anyone, contrary to popular belief.  Most malpractice suits are really moreso about bedside manner than proper technique or procedure.  [this is why all the tit doctors tell the patient how well surgery went... you look great!  you did so well!].

What's hilarious is that doctors refuse to look at the industry taking their money (insurance) for answers...  At the end of the day, no one gets punitives on medmal unless it's obscenely outrageous conduct (like, I just did an 8 ball, fucked 3 hookers, and have been up for 2 weeks straight and am using an aids ridden 2 man bandsaw to hack off the wrong leg from a patient type egregious behavior).  So...  doctors are complaining about having to compensate people for injuring them...  As stated in my post below, "tort reform" advocates are no longer asking for reform because that's happened over the last century and every square inch of possible reform has been ceded to the medical industry.  What they're advocating for is tort immunity.  Again, ask your insurers why your premiums aren't decreasing despite less and less liability for your acts...  (if you want to confuse a doctor, just ask him that...)

PS, I agree that it's hilarious someone would use the phrase "current state of affairs" when professionals of all sorts had unlimited liability at common law.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:30 | 4622515 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

A list including those would result in revolution.


Especially if you factor in index linked pensions, long holidays, tax free retirement bonuses and life long security of tenure.  If it's any consolation it's the same racket in most European countries.  Thank public sector unions and spineless pols.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4621939 studfinder
studfinder's picture

My bro is about to retire from government (ripe age of 53)...  They obviously didn't factor in pensions...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:10 | 4622907 mumbo_jumbo
mumbo_jumbo's picture



agreed, this list is just like everthing else in the US, cherry pick the numbers so your own point can be "proven"

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:58 | 4622124 cnsteph
cnsteph's picture

None of those "worst paying jobs" were meant to be "you can support a family on this job".  They are meant for 15 - 20 yr olds who haven't decided what they want to be/do and get trained for the career they choose.  They are ment to be entry level jobs for NONSKILLED workers.  If you want a job to support a family then go learn how to do a skill.



Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:13 | 4622922 mumbo_jumbo
mumbo_jumbo's picture

sounds like you haven't been paying attention.

those "skills" have been exported and those "skills" that can't be exported our masters have a solution for that as well so a horde of peasants has been imported to do those.


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:52 | 4622585 mc225
mc225's picture

maybe the 'dark ages' weren't really that 'dark' after all. what we have here in the usa seems like a sort of dystopia.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:41 | 4621706 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

re "The bottom 20 will be filled by robots in 5 years!"

> iRobot + Agenda21 = Soylent Green

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:15 | 4622212 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I beg to differ.  The bottom 20 exist only because we have people who do them for us.  The pleasure is derived from being served, not simply from the thing served.  This is the nature of aristocracy.  One who seeks power over his brother requires subservience to reap his terrible reward.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:59 | 4621563 EggSlayer
EggSlayer's picture

Your a joke. So your saying anyone can be a doctor, an orthodontist, or any kind of practioner... supply and demand my friend. Get a grip.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:03 | 4621575 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Come on, man.  They have been discouraging WASP males from even applying for med. school for some time...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:21 | 4621640 EggSlayer
EggSlayer's picture

I don't know much about the application process for med school. But what I'm saying is that a specialized skill like being a practioner is not somthing that EVERYONE can be. Low supply, high salary.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:27 | 4621983 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Did you miss this?

"Get government out of the picture and those salaries would fall in line with the required skills."

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:30 | 4622281 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Let me get this straight, you would be fine to have some elbow-deep in your guts that got his medical degree in the Dominican Republic?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 17:39 | 4626531 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

And your comment has what to do about this?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:47 | 4622559 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

 discouraging WASP males ?????


They've been rejecting them hand over fist for years.  But if you're a black trans-gendered Jewish woman you walk into Harvard Med even with a lousy SAT.  Cleverly Jews are classed as White so the figures don't look too gross.  But if you exclide them then White men are under-represented by a staggering factor of 14.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:05 | 4621580 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

But it takes a real lack of morals and ethics to be a sociopath.  

Which brings up the question:

Where are the Hedge fund guys, Wall Street types, Bankers and Corporate Execs on the 'Best Paid' list?

Those guys are making MILLIONS - the doctors on this list are making what these guys spend on coke and hookers in a week. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:16 | 4621621 adr
adr's picture

Million dollar bonuses and stock gains don't count as salary. That's why you don't see those jobs on the list.

Remember Warren Buffet earns less money per year than anyone on the bottom list. Unearned income is another story.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:27 | 4621667 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

I was gonna say, the CEO of where averages only 250ish?  give me a fkn break!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:48 | 4621770 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Unfunded liabilities,

gain as opposed to income,

wealth vs income (we currently talk about 'rich' or wealthy people based on their income, as opposed to their wealth)

unrealized gains, capital gains...  All words that are currently gibberish to your avg American, but I get the feeling they will be better acquainted with the terms 20 years on.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:28 | 4621988 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

The diagnosis is here (Joke of the year so far...)


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:46 | 4622077 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Adr, many of the high paid healthcare professionals I know are mortgaged to the hilt, live very costly lives and pay a fortune in malpractice insurance. This list is very misleading. I have a financial advisor friend who hates working with Drs who for the most part can't stick to a budget or live within their means. He told me as a microbiologist I have a better grasp of my finances than the average specialized dr. Now that's scary. High income does not mean one is wealthy.


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:53 | 4622111 RabbitChow
RabbitChow's picture

Exactly!  Where are the HFT jobs?  Maybe they only make pennies.  At least that's what they all say, right?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:41 | 4622325 Kickaha
Kickaha's picture

Wow.  You really do think you are much, much smarter than everybody else.  News flash! You are not.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:01 | 4622414 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

Now that, my friends, is FUNNY! 'Your' a joke? Really? As they say on NFL Today, COME ON MAN!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:02 | 4621574 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

The best paying list is heavily doctored...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:33 | 4621704 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Where are the garbage men, plumbers, and electricians?  Our garbage men went out on strike a while back becasue their salary was "too low" at over $100k!  I was about ready to quit my job and offer to pick up the trash for only $90k.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:19 | 4622231 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This list doesn't account for "earnings" of "all earners".  These are "wages" of "wage-earners".  Thus you don't see, for example, compensation packages for executives, earnings for the self-employed, and so forth. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:31 | 4622285 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Agreed. My "profession" is on the top ten list, but the salary levels are not realistic. They are too low. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:14 | 4622469 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture




Anesthesiologists average only $235k a year???!!!

That's what primary care physicians make. I've never met an anesthesiologist making less than $500k.

On the other hand, there's no way in hell the average petroleum engineer makes $150k; more like $95k:


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 19:01 | 4623095 babylon15
babylon15's picture

Anesthesiologist salaries have come down significantly since the 2007 financial crisis began.  Median is about $300,000 now.  Median malpractice insurance is about $25k a year.  Being replaced by Nurse Anesthetists anyway, so if you start training to become an anesthesiologist today, chances are salary will be significantly lower by the time you finish your residency in 12 years (4 college + 4 med school + 4 residency).

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:40 | 4621735 optimator
optimator's picture

If they put "Bankster" jobs in there it would be at the very top of the list.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:37 | 4621723 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture

Get government out of the picture and those salaries would fall in line with the required skills.

indeed....   but....

don't forget the trilal lawyers and limitless awards for pain and suffering....   BS

can you blame the surgeons, etc. charging the fees they do, when......   they have to pay enormous malpractice insurance premiums to fend off the hyennas.... (er  lawyers) and their ridiculous claims and awards...  ?

change TORT law.....   (and get the gov. out of the way.....


in a slightly difference subject (but related)....


'fix the sytem'  will never be accomplished unless.....


1.- get rid of gov. participation in free market activities (or at least LIMIT such participation to a MINIMUM) iow remove excessive regulation

2.- flat tax for individuals (no more than 10% and NO CORPORATE tax)

3.- get rid of unions

4.- modify TORT LAW.....   for example...   loser PAYS (both parties attorney's fees court costs everything and limit "pain and suffering" to nominal amounts...  stop creating a lottery ticket award)

5.- make politicians liable for their LIES


it would probably never happen....   :(


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4621775 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Yep, a campaign promise should be A LEGAL PROMISE.  How these folks can lawfully lie is absolutely sickening.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:11 | 4621911 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Not to beat a dead horse, but tort reform happened more than a century ago...  with the last push in the 1970s...  The phrase "tort reform" is a severe misnomer in that what is actually being advocated is tort immunity.  The SCOTUS has already limited damage awards based upon due process (all suits have a ceiling).  The states have already picked up the torch, many passing dollar limits on damages (some of which are expressly against their state constitutions, but I digress).  There's nothing left...  and we're so far beyond the entire public policy reasoning behind torts (accountablity) that the only space left is complete immunity from suit.  If you want to go to Dr. Nick, that's fine, but I don't want a country full of Dr. Nicks.

The real issue?  Insurance companies lost their ass in prior stock market bubble bursts and have been trying to catch up...  Are medmal premiums increasing faster than the cost of healthcare (or anything else for that matter)?  The issue is that medical professionals are a huge pool of money for insurance companies to sucker.  When doctors get mad, the insurance companies blame lawyers...  and no one bothers to look behind the curtain.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:38 | 4622043 Backdraft
Backdraft's picture

Not probably at all, 4 WD  .... it will never happen. The majority of CONgress is made up of..... lawyers. There not going to change the rules to go against thier own kind plus on the outside chance they are defeated in an election, they'd have to go back into practice.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:31 | 4622003 Upswaller
Upswaller's picture

Stuck, you're living in dreamland.  In dentistry at least, half our patients have no insurance, and hence, the fees are market driven.  Too, most people want root canal therapy (when needed) to be performed expertly, not by the neighborhood mechanic.  Nothing against mechanics, I won't work on my car.  You people who claim these professions are all propped by the government simply crack my ass up, it would be even funnier if it wasn't so pathetically sad.


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:51 | 4623059 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

You forgot about subsidies like Medicare and now Obamacare driving up the costs.  You also have to aadd in all those unhealthy people.  A lot of those unhealthy people are unhealthy by choice.  If you are eating your government subsidized GMO McDonald's on your EBT everyday, of course it would drive up the cost .  Pure supply and demand.  Imagine an America where everyone ate healthy and exercised, what would the supply of patients be?  How many knee replacements, disc replacement surgeries, and diabetes patients would there be?  Sorry for my idealism.  We can't ask anyone to pull there own weight these days (pun intended) because government wants us dependent on it and govt also wants to take credit for saving everyone.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 20:27 | 4623373 Mr. Ed
Mr. Ed's picture

"top list includes mostly people protected by government supported monopolies; AMA, ADA, etc."

Yes.  I can remember discussing this very issue decades ago, around the time it was becoming common for everything medical to be funded by 3rd party payers (employer funded insurance, medicaid, medicare,etc).

At that time the average person could still afford to pay for their own medical care.  But that was once upon a time before 3rd party payment schemes took the lid off what drug companies, medical device makers, and hospitals could get away with charging.

When "someone else" (ie: taxpayers and employers) is paying for something who cares what it costs.  So from then on the sky became the limit and now everything in the healthcare field is priced to the sky!

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 01:44 | 4623986 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

The AMA is satan. Where else do you purchase services and they will not tell you how much it costs? Seriously, even fucking lawyers will tell you up front I want your first born, and 10 years wages.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:41 | 4621497 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

yep, where you want to be is towards the bottom of the top 20... get out of school faster, less debt, in the job market longer, make more money both right away and over time for the most part... and, I gotta tell ya, if they think $130k is the average for an IT manager, they need to get out more... that's very regional and, where I'm at, it's much higher

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:41 | 4621498 Goatboy
Goatboy's picture

Free will is scientifically impossible.

Do you believe in magic?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:54 | 4621543 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

So how come you're posting this dipshit?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:07 | 4621587 maskone909
maskone909's picture

probably because his employer has laid him off due to bammer care budgeting

now he has plenty of free time


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:29 | 4621676 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Two more morons that can't comprehend cause and effect.


Why are you two posting your drivel, (i.e. the effect)?  Are you claiming there is no cause for this?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:00 | 4621566 Kidrobot
Kidrobot's picture

I've read this nonsense a lot lately.  What's your definition of will?  And does it distinguish between freedom of will vs. freedom of action?  If not you're confusing the two.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:49 | 4622065 Goatboy
Goatboy's picture

We have will but there is nothing free about it. We can only do/think about things that environment/circumstances allow. That includes other people and their causal relation to the same environment. As basic example, we cannot even learn to speak without that information being available in environment. That availability is beyond our control or even wishing. We can only wish what we already heard about. Its the same for everything else, to the smallest idea.

Ideas of free will and separation (independence) are insane, just considered normal because almost everyone is infected.

But are only ideas, as reality is something completelly different.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:39 | 4622317 malek
malek's picture

You're confusing conditioning with an alleged impossibility to overcome conditioning.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:44 | 4622561 Goatboy
Goatboy's picture

Every mode of mind functioning is some type of conditioning, as mind is set of patterns. You can "overcome" conditioning only by replacing it with "better" or different conditioning. And even that you cannot do unless you were given alternative (through environment, completelly out of your control).

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 22:59 | 4623767 malek
malek's picture

Reductio ad absurdum.

Only the "environment" can give me different conditionings, without which it's impossible for me to think outside the box (of earlier conditionings)?

1. The "environment" is permanently showering me and every other being with new "conditioning offers." No real limitation here.
Now one only needs to lower -best as a conscious act- the barrier for a conditioning offer to be looked at with more scrutiny, and new horizons open up.

2. Humans are able of abstraction, and then recombining those abstract pieces in new ways in their mind. How do you think people like Einstein came to do their leaps of mind?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:59 | 4621562 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

Excelling?  Maybe.  Another way of looking at it is buying your way to success.   

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:19 | 4621634 StarfishPrime
StarfishPrime's picture

Petroleum engineering - four years for a bachelors. If you get a 4.0, you'll easily be at $110k starting.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:49 | 4622574 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

My son has already indicated he wants to do that and geology .... because you get to blow stuff up and make messes.   

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:15 | 4622651 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

Yeah and engineering managers are at >$160K.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:00 | 4621846 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Large percentages of physiciandms and surgens monopoly ( State/guild cartel ) can be executed by non college graduates..
Imagine if only you car dealer, for life, could change your oil, tires, and brakes. And imagine that dealers controled entrance of new dealers.
Medical care needs to come under price compression and service innovation, not be a cartel.
Ditto lawyers.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:44 | 4622344 Kickaha
Kickaha's picture

The lawyer problem is fixing itself.  Right now, there are six law school graduates for every available legal job.  Take a look at that list of the 20 highest paying jobs.  "Lawyer" is nowhere to be found.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:13 | 4621919 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

The top list has tons of fees and barriers of entry with schooling and certificate costs along with financial and legal extortion through insurance costs. Our society is completely fucked. Unless you're in the club, you're fucked no matter what. Unperform.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:27 | 4621985 sleepingbeauty
sleepingbeauty's picture

The top list is filled with professions that require exceling in school for decades and participating in residency programs through ones early thirties before making money.

The bottom list is filled with positions anyone off the street can do and are filled by people ... who have MBAs BAs and various other degrees.


There, fixed it.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:46 | 4622058 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

I dropped out of university in the early 90`s to earn about a third for washing dishes of what is on that list. Adjusted for purchasing power just about the same I guess.

Still made it, university of hard knocks and success and
that magic number of the American dream for "graduation" that has since been inflated away for being a measure of economic independence.

Can`t help reminiscing about that first student million whenever I hear about reverse education with student loans.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 19:18 | 4623156 mc225
mc225's picture

washing dishes was coo. waitresses all around. free meal. a real sense of accomplishment for an honest day's work.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:23 | 4622498 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

And to key off your point, colleges somewhere in the 1980s stopped being important catalysts of socio-economic success and began being the same schills that you see in the casino industry, used car lots and the oval office in the Whitehouse.  In short, they are selling hope but actually putting a needle in your arm and leaving you destitute with a worthless rag gathering dust in your basement. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:12 | 4622640 noless
noless's picture

So i should have taken out tens of thousands, if not more, of federal loans right? That was the right thing to do? So i could be a dentist?

How could you reconcile the obvious debt enslavement of this society, with starting that these "high earners" deserved it because they spent so much time being educated?

I don't deny that both physical skill and education are required for complex medical procedures, but in the over all view of how society is structured doesn't that reek of livestock veterinarians to you?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:28 | 4621663 Blazed
Blazed's picture


That position is saved for the Climate Change/Global Warming cult members.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:26 | 4621666 DirtyWilly
DirtyWilly's picture

The banks aren't hiring right now.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:30 | 4621681 inky
inky's picture

Fart catchers!

Thinking about it thats not a bad idea..

How about connecting a huge extraction fan which leads to some sorta storage containers to the walls of all the walmarts in the usa.Then that could be used to extract all the farts that the overly sized 50 million FSA drop through the day while doing their shopping.

which in turn would clean the air for other shoppers & also go towards reducing the gas prices for america.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4621839 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Methane. Who needs fracking?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:20 | 4621950 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

"What about fart catchers?"

That's what Congressional Aides are for.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:19 | 4622655 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:55 | 4622115 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture


Cart fetchers and fart catchers are part-time jobs, but the gubment counts them as 2 full-time jobs ;-)

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:31 | 4621468 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

I don't know any surgeons who make a pidley $230 K...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:33 | 4621472 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Why not show the 535 workers who start their careers of with $50,000 balance sheets and end up with $75,000,000 balance sheets with annual income of only $140,000. Skewed chart considering nobody on that list can participate in insider traiding, illegal gambling profits, kickbacks from corporations, adminstration "incentives", etc. Don't be a line cook, do your cooking in Congress.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:32 | 4622008 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

Not a banker on the list!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:12 | 4622639 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

Cart Fetchers OR Fart Cetchers?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:51 | 4623058 I need Another Beer
I need Another Beer's picture

`IF u CAN'T SMOKE A MULLLEt      I shut the fuck up


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 19:08 | 4623124 Jannn
Jannn's picture

GOFO Turned Negative AGAIN: The Consequences 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:29 | 4621465 knukles
knukles's picture

Well, those high paying medical professionals can kiss their fabulous earnings goodbye.  Vote early and often, Bitchez

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:37 | 4621487 radwon
radwon's picture

You choosing the low bid for your surgery?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:51 | 4621531 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

He may not be, but the government will. 


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:52 | 4621540 knukles
knukles's picture

Obiediah doin' dat fo' me.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:53 | 4621799 seek
seek's picture

Oh, the earnings will still be there.

Unfortunately the printing necessary to enable their payment will result in their future value being the equivalent of what's left of the middle class makes today.

We need a similar chart for Venezuela to see where we're headed.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:36 | 4621469 One And Only
One And Only's picture

The best (and worst paying job) is the same job: sales

Best salesman = Steve Jobs (he didn't invent all those cool igadgets....he sold them)

Worst salesman = Guy under your local bridge.

If you're good at sales the sky is the fucking limit. Best part - college degree - completely unnecessary.

When I was much younger I did door to door sales. Probably one of the more difficult jobs out there....check this dude out

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:36 | 4621483 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

My dad could sell pork chops to a rabbi. I can't stand to be around most people, so I have no idea how he does it.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:35 | 4621714 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Are you sure he's your dad?


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:08 | 4621891 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I still know this pirate car salesman. I wish I wrote down 5% of what he said. Back when Crysler was going down the tubes he was one of the company's number one salesman. They flew him to Detroit and wanted to know how he sold the crap. He said easy, I hate the Chrysler customers so much I want to punish them by getting them to be a Crysler car owner. They fired him.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 17:22 | 4622668 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

He's now with GMC - and making a KILLING - Literally

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:36 | 4621486 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Agreed. If you need to be taught how to can not sell.  The person who teaches how to sell can not sell either. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:42 | 4621503 maskone909
maskone909's picture

when i was a kid i used to go dumpester diving at the local warehouse.  one day i found a bunch of brand new cookie sheets with nice designs on them.  i went door to door selling them for 20 bucks a pop for "summer camp".  great summer that was. 


now-a-days i see kids in there early twenties diging through our garbage to recycle cans.  its really tough out there.  good luck everyone

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:11 | 4621597 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

If you take those cans and make little airplanes and wind chimes out of them you can get $5-$10 for the same can you would get $0.05 for recycling.


Or you can make a pipe out of it.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:30 | 4621687 813kml
813kml's picture

The pipe has a better ROI.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:14 | 4622476 css1971
css1971's picture

Take the cans, put them in a box, put a glass lid on it and sell them for $200 a go.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:56 | 4622118 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

So true. My youngest worked at sea world for a spell and I was always badgering her to bring us free tickets which she never seem to have. Come to find out she was going to stores and bartering them to the owners. At 15 she started selling some items from a friends business at the swap meet and made quite a haul. Many tried to recruit her into their companies after hearing her pitches but balked when they found out her age. Yes, she's a salesman now and yes, as I hang my head, shes making more money than I.


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:45 | 4621508 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Sales is just trasmitting bullshit from one person (the creator of the bullshit) to another (the mark). 

Any field/activity that involves large amounts of bullshit should have potential for good reward.

morals + bullshit = religion
goverment + bullshit = politics
craft + bullshit = splatter art
stuff + bullshit = bling 
sex + bullshit = romance.

Bullshit,  ask for it by name.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:51 | 4621525 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture


Although real craft is impressive and doesn't need bullshit

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:09 | 4621592 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  Although real craft is impressive and doesn't need bullshit

Yes, of course.  But, without the bullshit it's "just" craftsmanship. 

Real government is impressive too,  as is real morals.   

But, the secret of success is duplicity (bullshit). 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:57 | 4621533 One And Only
One And Only's picture

"Sales is just trasmitting bullshit from one person (the creator of the bullshit) to another (the mark). "

Ever ask a girl out or approach her at a bar? You're selling yourself (to her)

Ever had a job interview or interview at a college? You're selling yourself (to them)

Ever see a lawyer win a convincing case? He sold the jury

Ever see an actor play a really convincing role? He sold the audience

Everyone is a salesman and sales isn't "bullshit" it's the art of persuasion.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:05 | 4621581 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re: art of persuasion

Pursuasion IS bullshit.

What do you think politicians are doing?     What you are missing is the difference of the meaning of the word "selling" vs "bullshit".   What "concepts" are carried (assumed) with the words:  "selling" vs "bullshit".  The word "bullshit" encapulates more than just selling, which is why the word can't be used in polite company.    The missing "concepts" encapulated in bullshit is the duplicity and manipulation.    THESE are what matter as much as the "selling".

You aren't selling a females on yourself.   You are creating bullshit for her.   You are manipulating her AND you have duplicity (the odds are you are just going to fuck her).    So, it's not just selling, it's bullshit.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:12 | 4621594 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Politicians ARE salesman and those salesman do happen to sell bullshit. I couldn't agree more with you. BUT the politicians that rise to the top are GOOD AT SELLING bullshit.

But everything sold isn't bullshit, nor is the act of selling.

Have you ever bought a house/rented an apartment, purchased a: computer, internet service, auto insurance, health insurance, furniture, or anything else? Gone on a date? Had an interview?

If you have, than SIR, you are full of bullshit in accordance with your philosophy.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:20 | 4621635 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

I think we are just talking past each other.

To me "sales" is the activity (an action verb) of transmitting your OWN bullshit or OTHER PEOPLE'S bullshit to a mark.  Bullshit being what is transmitted. 

When you "house/rented an apartment, purchased a: computer, internet service, auto insurance, health insurance, furniture, or anything else? Gone on a date? Had an interview" you ARE "selling" yourself (or are being sold to), BUT - much more importantly - you are finding the bullshit needed to manipulate the mark AND, equally important, hiding what you don't want known (this is duplicity). 

People are bullshitting you,  you are bullshitting them; at all times (you and me are even bullshitting the guy in the mirror ).    The secret of happiness is self-delusion (bullshitting yourself) and the secret of success is duplicity (bullshitting others).  

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:48 | 4621771 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Con-men lie, cheat, steal, and sell bullshit and snake oil.  

Politicians, ironically, usually peddle bullshit and provided a legitimate service (just not to us).  The service they generally provide is catoring to their benifactors needs by actively scamming and screwing the electorate.

Business transactions, however, can actually work out well for both sides of the transaction.  Conducting business does not have to result in someone getting suckered or scammed.  

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:39 | 4621732 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

crap_music + bullshit = wrap

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:47 | 4621514 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

The guy under the bridge pays less for hookers and crack so he has that going for him.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:56 | 4621550 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

But the hooker and crack quality is poorer though.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:00 | 4621564 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Treating Hepatitis C and AIDS isn't cheap. And you're probably going to die.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:38 | 4621729 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

You're probably going to die too.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 20:52 | 4623475 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Yea....quietly in my dreams. Not from Hep C or AIDS. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:17 | 4621936 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Homies don't be paying for no health issues. Mid class and up tax donkeys pay.
Sell half your pain/sleep/anxiety scrips and you got enough to camp at a dive bar all day, everyday. Score a disability and you are royal. Hundreds of entire cities are funded on this ...."economy".

Now get back to the tax farm!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:42 | 4623027 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Taxes are only one of the many ways that the livestock is sheared or harvested.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:51 | 4621782 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Not after Hedonic adjustment

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:33 | 4621474 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Detroit to borrow $120 mln to combat crime, blight


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:55 | 4621545 centerline
centerline's picture



What you really want to see is the terms.  I will bet this puppy is a slow bleed for years then a massive balloon payment that makes the principle look like chump change.  Same sort of loans that the banks have been quietly writing to school distrincts and other cash poor county and state government entities.  The amounts are so silly that either they are counting on hyperinflation, or simply know that payback will never happen (e.g. loan is a desperate grab at cash flow knowing that by full term the system will be tits up).

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:26 | 4621662 813kml
813kml's picture

That should buy a couple of Robocops.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:56 | 4622400 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture


Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:36 | 4621482 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

"Total Comp in 20 Best and Worst Paying Jobs"

And there are those that bitch about increasing inequality in America.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:16 | 4622479 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



The total comp chart is meaningless until it's adjusted for taxes.  Let's see the massive tax transfer from column a to b before making tidy little comments.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:37 | 4621489 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Lifeguards? The Hoff won't be happy about that!

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:40 | 4621494 SmilinJoeFizzion
SmilinJoeFizzion's picture

You throw in $600 a month in groceries, free O phone, free internet, $500 per feral child, and zero income taxes and you aren't doing to bad for the easiest job of all

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:47 | 4621515 maskone909
maskone909's picture

in california you can get 1000 per month per foster child.  to bad so many deadbeats do this to supplement their income :-(

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:43 | 4621749 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

That's not a feral child; it's new livestock for the herd. It, and its parents as well, belong to a small number of very rich white guys.

As with all ranching operations, not all livestock has equal value. But even the least valuable specimens can usually be made into something useful like dog food or cannon fodder.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 14:51 | 4622100 maskone909
maskone909's picture

soylent green




Thu, 04/03/2014 - 16:55 | 4622389 headhunt
headhunt's picture



Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:42 | 4621501 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

And the worst paying job, for the 12th year in a row, is Crack Whore

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:51 | 4621788 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Not if they find a busy truck stop...  Let the visuals permeate through you.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:42 | 4621504 runthenumbers
runthenumbers's picture

Those doctors salaries are very low.  Don't know how they calculated that.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:48 | 4621517 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:   Don't know how they calculated that

I think they are using the Bruce Krastings (sp) calculation methodology.   IRS data.

The off-the-books and tax shelter stuff isn't counted. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:50 | 4621528 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

it's average ... including witch doctors, and other shanks and cranks who make next to nothing to drive down the average ...

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:57 | 4621555 Georgia_Boy
Georgia_Boy's picture

I followed the link and looked up my occupation, the listed average is about 70 percent of what I make. Extrapolate that as a rough estimate and the anethesiologists and surgeons are pulling in about $337K, the average CEO $255K, the petroleum engineer about $215K, the IT manager about $190K.

Sanity check, is that in the ballpark?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:12 | 4621602 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  the IT manager about $190K

Depends where you live too.   A Sioux Falls IT manager makes less than a San Francisco one.

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 15:13 | 4622204 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

Because of  the dead Indians?

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 18:58 | 4623082 pitz
pitz's picture

$190k IT managers are few and far between.  And most IT jobs are concentrated in high cost centres.  While physicians, dentists, etc., who live in more obscure places still earn the big bucks.  I personally one radiologist making $1M+/year, in a small (ie: 30,000-ish) centre. 

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:09 | 4621591 agstacks
agstacks's picture

However they are high for the Dr. Nick Rivera types..

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:46 | 4621505 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Noticed they took prototype machinists and injection mold designers off of the lists. I guess they get paid in yuan these days.

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