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Putin 1 - Dimon 0: JPMorgan Unhalts Russian Money Transfer
Yesterday when we reported that a "Furious Russia Will Retaliate Over "Illegal And Absurd" Payment Block By "Hostile" JPMorgan", in which we explained that unlike previous responses to Russian sanctions by the West, which were largely taken as a joke by the Russian establishment, this time Russia is furious, we said that "we certainly can not be the only ones looking forward to the epic battle prospect that is Vlad "Shootin" Putin vs JP "Fail Whale" Morgan." Alas the title fight lasted for just about a day, and was won, with a technical knock out in the first round, by none other than the former KGB spy who can now add the whale which manipulates all markets to its trophy case which includes about 100 statues of a crushed and beaten John Kerry.
Because after shocking the world with its unilateral decision to halt Russian money transfers without a direct order from the administration, Reuters reports that JPM has folded and will process said payment from Russia's embassy in Kazakhstan to insurance agency Sogaz, easing tension after Moscow accused the U.S. bank of illegally blocking the transaction under the pretext of sanctions.
In other words, Putin 1 - Jamie Dimon 0.
More from Reuters:
The confrontation threatened to further strain ties between Washington and Moscow, locked in the worst standoff since the Cold War over Russia's annexation of Ukraine's Crimea region.
"Following consultation with our regulators, we are processing this transaction," JPMorgan said in a statement.
Last month, Washington imposed sanctions, including visa bans and asset freezes, against several Russians close to President Vladimir Putin and against Rossiya Bank, which it said was the "personal bank" for the leader's inner circle.
The destination for the embassy payment was insurance agency Sogaz, which is 48.5 percent owned by Abros, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Bank Rossiya.
Industry consultants in Moscow say financial institutions are unclear about how to apply the new rules in some situations, such as when dealing with subsidiaries of companies which have either been sanctioned or which have shareholders that have been punished.
Several Western investors and their banks are facing quandaries over individual situations.
Guidelines on the U.S. Treasury department's website from the U.S. Office of Foreign Assets Control says that property which is more than 50 percent owned by a person on the sanctions blacklist is affected and advises acting "with caution" when ownership interests are less than 50 percent.
"It is up to private companies and lawyers to figure out who is subject to sanctions," said one Moscow-based lawyer. "Of course (a U.S. bank) is more scared of the American (authorities than the Russian ones)."
Needless to say, this is quite anticlimatic, as we were certainly looking forward to the discovery of JPM documents which would be released into the public domain following the imminent annexation of all JPM offices in Russia. Looks like we'll have to wait a little longer.
Meanwhile, if even Jamie Dimon....
....can't stand up to Putin.... who can?
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Blink!
That's a balk there......runner take your base.
JP hot pants finally caught fire.
I think the Russians privately threatened them with a meltdown of their computer systems.
Unilateral? Really?
Did someone play Taps for Dimon?
I hear them playing the $21 billion printing salute....
It's all about Jamie's bonus. 100% of the JPM business model is geared toward boy wonder's year end monetary fiesta.
BTW wonder why this wasn't reported on CNBC? Wonder no longer: Jamie is to CNBC as Baraq is to BSNBC
The damage is done. Too late for excuses. What a stupid blunder. The Russians will accelerate their move away from the Western World controled financial system.
Jamie pulled out a condom with the White House logo and tippy-toed into the “Sanctions” room.
10 seconds later he came out with the condom over his head and a nailgun up his ass.
The End
Looney
Vlad probably told Jamie how much he liked silver. And how much he was going to buy if Jamie didn't back off.
Here's Vlad in action taking on greedy people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flC---s2moA
"Who is your favorite world leader" poll - Putin 77%, Obama 6%, Cameron 3%
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/iv-drip/poll-nigel-farages-favourite...
Hey, Jamie: This is why Putin is richer than you!
Hay Vlad, for the good of the whole world don't change your mind. Please.
Someday the Western banking cartel will have too many enemies to manage.
Theys all the same, folks. Putin doing a Tai Otoshi or catching a catfish just makes him look cool. All the other knuckleheads run around scratching their watches and winding their rear-ends. Theys all just plum wrong just the same. Now I won't get no votes, but I am my own favorite world leader.
Good luck!
I suppose that theys all are as well. Thus, I did done vote you up.
And they didn't even know the above video clip yet...
Wow he is a mother fucker. That owner was pawned like a little
Gold Bitchez
What's that saying again? "A Smith & Wesson beats four Aces". Or in this case, "An AK-47 beats five Aces".
Ummm, I don't know.
One doesn't become leader of Russia being a wimpy slime ball like the one we've got leading the US now!
Like
So, bankers aren't running Russia like the US.
That was excellent. Especially the part where he demands his pen back! I raise you this one - Putin cold stares Obama and makes him clearly nervous. Eyes of cold steel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P1q3IDjBaI
Good one! I'm moar impressed Vlad had the discipline not to burst out laughing in Obozo's face for being such an ass clown!
Makes me think, bear sit, bear listen, bear see weakness, bear have lunch!
We've made the same mistake with Russia as Hitler in trying to push them back since the USSR fell apart.
What did we think? The Russians were just going to keep taking it!? NOTT!
oobamaOO
"Give me back my pen." :-D
And here's Vlad's faith in contrast to Obama's misplaced faith...
The Difference Between Putin and Obama. - You Got to See This!!
“CONTROLLED WESTERN MEDIA has been waging a savage campaign against Vladimir Putin for the last 8 years??? WAIT TIL YOU HEAR THIS!!.........” from Brother Nathanael
The differences in between Putin’s and Obama’s manner and presence are tremendous but one rising difference is substantial. And that difference is in their official recognition of the Christian religion,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjqJ3cDzReA
In 2011, Putin observed Easter Sunday services in Moscow joining 4 million Russians in celebrating their nation’s holiest day of the year and appeared on television to publicly celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. By contrast, that same Easter week, Obama was noticeably silent on the Christian religion and instead announced and celebrated the First Annual White House Passover Seder, a Jewish Passover ceremonial ritual at the White House by bringing in photographers and a myriad of his Jewish staffers – a ritual Obama has celebrated every year he has been in office.
To sum up the difference, Putin announced in 2010 that the founding of Christianity in Russia in the 10th century would be a new national and public holiday. At the same time, Obama announced that the month of May, traditionally known as the month America celebrates its war heroes, would henceforth be known as Jewish American Heritage Month.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjqJ3cDzReA
Muhammad said, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'.
People still buy in to the myth that the government is in charge of the banksters.
“Let me issue and control a nation’s money and I care not who writes the laws" - banksters
Against all reason, all historical evidence,despite massive logical contradictions, the politicians and bureaucrats are just puppets meme, is repeated endlessly on these pages. Why? Even if it were true how would operational reality be changed? The growth of corruption, of oppression is based on the growth of government and the centralization of power.
There's only one answer that amkes sense. The subliminal message that indirectly supports the explicit lies of Democratic Socialism, Liberalism, and really all the isms. Namely that if we could just get the right people, just make reforms, just do some tweeking, the Great God of Government could be made to do our bidding.
Conservatism? Objectivism? Capitalism?
Putin successfully demonstrated that these snacks actually got no teeth.
Debating point sophistry? Anything that isn't predicated on small government, limited governemnt is going to range from slippery slope to outright power grab.
Conservatism and capitalism are meaningless words. You can pick your definition.
You can pick your definition.
There's some sophistry right there.
How small is "small?" How limited is "limited?" How about "predicated" on no government - is that too small?
Do I pick my own definitions, or do you pick them for me? How do we communicate when we don't have a common language?
isn't it the whole purpose of newspeak to make sure that certain things can't be discussed anymore?
you just have to declare -isms as uncool and "all the same to me". poof! job done, one generation lost to newspeak
Uknown User - Correct. The quote from Rothschild was certainly true.
"The bankers own the place." - Senator Dick Durbin circa 2009
is it correct... in China? in Russia? See what Putin is replying to JPM
I'd argue that it's not correct in the eurozone, where industrial interests generally trump financial interests
I would not argue about London, though, or it's sister across the Atlantic
Correct. The "club" is about to get a lot smaller...
either way, I am sure the oligarchs will be well positioned for this...
as for joe six-pack, not so much...
Hey Tyler can we celebrate the 5yr anniversary of this bull market by doing some "where are they now? segments? I vote we start with this guy.
http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2011/09/trader-on-bbc-sounds-alarm-about-...
That was three years ago fonz..
Exactly.
Nail gun?
my guess is he still is saying all the same things at the car wash he works at.
we celebrate the 5yr anniversary of this bull market
Awesome bull market.....terrible economy.
"I was acting on the advice of my lawyers."
BaaaHaaaWaaaa
I remember that guy. Makes me wonder if there is never going to be a bear market again and it is all Zimbabwe from here on out.
It is amazing how stupid people on the Hill and Executive are. F..cking children. McCain, Obama, Kerry and the rest of the Ivy school twats.
From your lips to God's ear, hopefully. Putin stands for more freedom than the NYC-DC cabal.
It was such an incredibly brain dead thing to do in the first place it is hard to imagine Jamie had any knowledge of it at all, come on, he would have had to have had a lobotomy to think this was going to end without retaliation, has JPMorgan secretly got some massive short on the future of the petro dollar.....I can't think of anything that makes sense, these bankers are very very smart, not brain dead morons, so there must be a profit angle.
I guess that is another point for Putin, would be nice if the home team could stop shooting themselves in the foot with red lines and stupid ultimatums, maybe if they had talked to Putin first and understood his position with regards the Crimea and its strategic importance to Russia before shooting their mouths off at the start they would be looking more like world leaders now and not little children and Russia would be feeling more like an equal partner and not some tin pot country that the US thinks it can bully, very badly played by the west so far, and China, India and anyone else with disputes within their borders will be watching with great interest and thinking how can I reduce my dependence on the US dollar in the future.
I think if they ever threatened Jamie it wouldn't be "we fry your beloved computers", more like "Jamie, if that payment doesn't process within 24 hours timeframe we suggest you sharpen your skills of collecting knocked out teeth with broken arms".
I doubt it. Jamie probably has security up the wazoo.
I suspect Putin engineered the little pop in POG as a reminder to Dimon and the US that that's the weak spot in their entire ponzi.
When Putin dies I wonder if there's another strongman waiting in the wings, or if the Anglo-American empire will have spent a few more billions on 'democratic' institutions in Russia to see to it they vote in another puppet.
Interesting times.
Does the Russian oligarchy have a farm system? If so, do they have many lefties? You can always trade out lefties for some depth these days.
Mike Morgan of the Morgan Family Trust, told Jamie, "down boy".
Russia has real farms, and real farmers, plus most Russians grow food, far less reliance on retail shopping, get it.
fc
That's quite plausible given Putin's background.
In response to the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre, the Soviet Union created the Alpha Group in 1974 to deal with terrorists going forward. Putin was in the KGB from about ’75 to ’90.
The Alpha Group had quite the track record of successes against terrorists like Dimon. The 1985 Beruit episode is particularly instructive:
“[I]in October 1985, Alpha Group was dispatched to the war-torn Beirut, Lebanon. The Kremlin was informed of the kidnapping of four Soviet diplomats by the militant group Islamic Liberation Organization (a radical offshoot of the Muslim Brotherhood). It was believed that this was retaliation to the Soviet support for the Syrian involvement in the Lebanese Civil War.”
Here’s where it gets good:
"However, by the time Alpha arrived, word spread that one of the hostages had already been killed. Through a network of supporting KGB operatives, members of the task-force identified each of the perpetrators involved in the crisis, and once identified, began to take the relatives of these militants as hostages. Following the standard Soviet policy of no negotiations with terrorists, some of the hostages belonging to Alpha Group had been dismembered and their body parts were sent to the militants. The warning was clear: more would follow unless the remaining hostages are released immediately."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Group (emphasis added)
Looks like Putin might have used Federal Express to send a head to Dimon. In any event, Obama’s attempt to hide behind Daddy Dimon’s skirt is—like pretty much everything else Obama does—an abject failure.
Washington, D.C. had better get real smart, real fast. But it won't.
The level of theft from ships moored at Port Harcourt Nigeria was, maybe still is, phenomenally high. Despite heavy expenditure on security heavily armed gangs had no trouble getting their way.
No country's ships were safe.....apart from those from Russia. Paradoxically they had very little visible security compared to the others. But it was well known locally that any would-be thief that ventured on board a Russian ship was never seen again. Whole gangs were disappeared. Simple as that. No sounds of gunfire, no bodies found, no complaints from the Russians.
More likely radioactive poison in his soup.
I have to admit guys, this Putin is some guy! Maybe we should have Putin run JPM? Now that would be a bank then! This Armada Markets forex guy (https://twitter.com/ArmadaMarkets) may have been right yesterday when he said that Putin may be much smarter than people think.
Jamie, how is it to wake up and feel a big bazooka in your ass?
Somebody woke up with a horse head in their bed.
What's with New Yorkers?
First they mess with a Indian Diplomat, now they go after Russian Diplomatic structure.
They are just as bad as Al Qaeda!
That's not an absurd thought at all. In semi-related news, Russia's GLONASS satellite constellation went dark for 11 hours. I don't buy into theories (conspiracy or not) unless I can find and understand supporting data. I know enough about GPS to know that the redundancies built into these systems make it hard to see how this could be anything other than a deliberate human action.
http://www.emptywheel.net/2014/04/02/russian-gps-alternative-satellites-...
http://cyberwar.today/russian-gps-11-hours/
http://gpsworld.com/glonass-gone-then-back/
This truly is unprecedented, not so much the length of time it was down, but the fact that it was down at all.
How the FUCK does this 'ease tensions'? Put a loaded gun to a man's head, pull the hammer back then say, 'Sorry, changed my mind!'
Do or do not, there is no undo. They managed to look vicious and weak all at once - quite a feat even for this Administration.
After consultation with Regulators, JP Morgan decided to process the transation....I call BS! I'll bet fear of the Russian KGB/Mafiya made Jamie nutsack shrink. Even Satan couldn't protect him against the Siloviki.
What about the US Embassy in Moscow fearing Putin’s retaliation and no longer being able to finance their “fifth column” pussy riots in Russia...
"unhalt"?
Sound a bit like "reverse drinking" after a long night out.
Closer to un-de-virginising....
Smart move Jamie boy.. Cause you was about to get whacked KGB style..
And all it took was a for Dimon to watch youtube: http://youtu.be/0lxMglj8LuM?t=50s
***
Optimist.
I nominate Vlad Putin as head of the DoJ: A Man Who Can Do What Eric Holder Could Not: Stand up to Jamie Dimon.
From now on, Putin, or any other head of state should just converse with Dimon, blankfein, soros, Walton family, et al. if they want to bypass the b.s. political platitudes and have real negotiations. Since these are the people that control America anyway, It's more logical and less annoying working with them instead of dealing with an egocentric Obama or Dubaya whom constantly make horrible decisions.
More Mickey Mouse moves gone awry... It's been a while since da boyz won a round against Putin.
This match is being decided on points, not TKO or KO... so far.
JD's cufflink....proof that America has further sunk into a fascist state.
This time he got a direct order from the administration. Oblabla can't surrender fast enough; he's going to start taking French lessons.
What are those cufflinks? Illuminati or NWO?
Putin should tell the USA - no rides to the Space Station and just partner up more with China. Also no resupply or supply to Afghanistan through Russian territories. The USSA is a joke now.
"What are those cufflinks? Illuminati or NWO?"
Worse - FedGov.
Why is the cuff link highlighted?
You didn't look straight at it......did you?
lmfao that's hillarious!
In fact I did, and I.......... Uh.... Wait..... Sell silver buy stocks! BTFATH!
Why can't you guys see things my way!!!
White House logo
The motif looks like a 21st century Swastika to me.
White House logo on cuff links... I suppose those are the 'famous' cuff links Jamie wore when testifying before legislature.
Reminds me of a punkish stunt a 'teflon don' would pull... about as subtle as a bull in a china shop.
"I'm the daddy now, next time, I'll fucking kill ya"
Go big daddy.
To show Jamie there are no hard feelings, Putin sent Jamie a set of KGB cufflinks.
Does this mean JP didn't want to be responsible for starting world War three?
Too late.
I'm guessing six months until it goes hot.If I were a PTB, I would give Obozo
the polonium cold cure to really get this going.
Fuck you Jamie! Don't bring a pillow to a sword fight.
Knowing how this ended, it was Vlad doing the soft pillow talk with Jaime over the phone... after making his asshole wider by 15 inches from the fuckup of JPM playing wannabe State Department.
Hey Jamie, do you feel Vladimir's thumb ?
How come you can see both his hands, then ?
Dimon is a two bit scumbag interfereing with ussa foreign policy for his own benefit. I am sure Putin called him and layed it out in clear terms. Jamie.... release the $$$ or we visit you and your family.
The dollar is finished. The US government is finished.
You promise?
Putin #Winning!
Putin is the king of global badassery. I love the guy.
stuuuupid J-street bitchezzz.
Not hard to predict. Russians are good for business, profits, and above all bonuses!
If these banks could deal with the drug cartels they'd be even more money to go around. Oh, sorry I forgot, they already are dealing with the cartels!
See, all money is good money whether clean, dirty or very dirty.
About time Ivan sent some of the associates to deal with these pricks..... ok for the wall street rabble to fleece the sheep but shaving a bears ass is quite another thing.....
Yeah.. And don't mess with bears doing their laundry either!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXrucs-BFTI
Nothing more enjoyable than seeing how weak Jamie Dimon actually is. The fuck.
Another sign of weakness. US can't really do anything short of major war. Many say that can't happen because they don't have the money I wouldn't bet on it. Hopefully that doesn't happen or we'll all be finished.
Besides any funding issues for world war, we've also got a military with morale at all-time lows....more military deaths by suicide than combat related now.
Seriously?!? Are they improvising as they go along? Is this amateur hour?
they almost got corzined
I will drop this down on the thread because it is OT but that guy at Ft. Hood yesterday was (supposedly) an Iraq war vet with ptsd. As opposed to covering the random "banker" related deaths so much I hope at some point ZH shines some light on where the real suicides are taking place, because it is astonishing how many of them there are, and it is awful
http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/21/us/22-veteran-suicides-a-day/
gosh fonz that is awfu........oh look the dow is red........oh no!!!....this is awful!!!!!!...........................
This is a symptom of banksters - fed printing countless billions of dollars and lending it to us government to go and fight wars around the world..Very sad indeed.
Just in time to push the Benghazi hearings off the front page too....
I guess that's why they called it a "truck driver".
One has to wonder at what level these decisions with geopolitical consequences are being made.
Does this go all the way to the top?
Jamie boy, also Putin's group no problem in cutting your throat either as an example to other banksters. These are not your paid for politicians and regulators...off your own turf your just a little spoiled boy. Putin's thugs happy to remind you that you and your family can pay for any American style bankster games in Russia...watch your back dude.
JAMIE DIMON >>>>>>> JIMMY HOFFA >>>>> I CAN DREAM
I still think Bank of Rossiya should work out its own global payment system for debit and credit card payments. Hell, they could probably buy discover card/diners club or something, except that USG wouldn't approve it. Maybe use an Chinese or Indian bank to make it happen.
"Diner's club Russia", where you get 3 buckets of picked chicken gizzard with every bucket of Kishka.
May I have some nice pre-staled bread with that please, and another tea saucer of bird berries? And waiter, this water doesn't taste rusty enough. #russiareality
Remember that a bank "chose" not to process money because they didn't like someone. Do not let these arrogant asswipes hold your wealth. They will "chose" to not let you use it. These finance pricks are riding high on their brand of foreign policy where they are not accountable to any population while they pay a few people to get looting rights.n Now they brazenly attempt to set national policy with embargos. They will not end well.
"They will not end well."
I take your point Q but it will end well for some... gotta put yourself in the shoes of your competitors.
It's a truly ill wind that blows no one good.
Meanwhile O is working on his hand-e-cap... and Nero is said to have fiddled while Rome burned. Back story; Nero wanted a new palace built on what was ablaze.
I'm so happy I bought the extra-large tub of buttered popcorn!
Putin "Too late Jamie, our retaliation measures will stay in place. Perhaps next time you will try using your head before you act."
LOL,
I love the post indicating Putin versus America. They are on the same side.. It's all a show. Obama wants to take America down and make global social and economic justice. Putin is just obliging. Destroy the dollar.
We have elites against the general population, no matter what nation.
Correct, but don't think for one second that it won't be really entertaining when the "elite" start eating each other...
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.”Yep, the pie is shrinking but the predators want the same size slice as when the pie was larger...
Interesting indeed... and it doesn't leave much pie for us little folk.
Does this mean that Val won't be shoving any cuff links up Jamie's ass? Rats.
JPM is coping with the US leadership which is inept at best. Russia is just one of our problems, the other is Obama and his menions.
Jamie walked outside the office and all he saw were people carrying umbrellas with sharpened ends, so he reconsidered.
Whew, that was a close one, no reason to own gold anymore.
So why did JPM cave in? Because this whole Russia sanctions game is just theater for the muppets. Just a distraction from massive currency debasement and economic failure.
Our idiot in chief just called the Ryan budget a "stinkburger"! Are you kidding me? The president of the United States said stinkburger? That is something a 7 year old would say. How could one of the most powerful men in the world utter such nonsense? And we expect him to go up against the KGB bear Putin? Looks to me like Putin is already running part of the US. My money is still on lots and lots of unknown Snowden files, it's making more sense every day. Stinkburger? Really, how completely incompetent. What a clown!
President Dwayne Elizondo Camacho knows how to communicate!
I imagine Ryan's response was, "It is NOT a stinkburger. Jerk!" Because, that's where we are as a nation.
At some point the FED has to un-taper, war is an obvious reason to start printing again! tick tock tick tock time is running out, the FED will have totally reversed in 5 more months and the entire Stock Market will start shaking like a shitting dog at 6:00am.
What better way to deleverage the GDP / Debt Ratio by going to war!
Should hire Russia to do some bankster culling. They are in plague proportions now and left to breed will destroy the environment.
putin 1
opompous -1000
Ur avatar is great!
The end of "The Jewish Century" will be welcomed by one and all.
"The confrontation threatened to further strain ties between Washington and Moscow, locked in the worst standoff since the Cold War over Russia's annexation of Ukraine's Crimea region"
Confrontation? .. seems more like Putin is just doing whatever he wants..without much opposition.
Dont cross this red line or else...okay..dont cross this one...fine..this one?..this one...this one..no..this one..etc...
Jmo?..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwBZObfp24c
Putin on Fallon last night
Down vote: Too much Palin.
its unilateral decision to halt Russian money transfers without a direct order from the administration,
I am not trying to insult people's intelligence here, but it seems that they go from grand conspiracies, to individuals. One time it's the MIC, then next it's Obama.
Unilateral decision? No direct order? C'mon, really?
I think this was a warning shot, trial balloon, call it what you like, but with plausible deniability it seems to me this was a deliberate action.
Or is all the downgrades of Russia and their banks also the work of 'independent' agencies and not another facet of a financial war.
Russia and its banks moving quickly to dump the dollar in Russia's exports and imports:
http://rt.com/business/russia-payments-rubles-trade-977/
Someone in JPM's trading (er hedging) operations must have finally told Jamie about the bank's derivative exposure to Russia.
Oh, never mind.
Rosanne Rosanna Danna
A chill crept up the man-gods spine.
So even our banksters are incompetent?
Like to see Putin destroy Dimon, Soros’s and Blankfien, would be the best thing to happen in America. If you’re waiting on the US congress of paid liars and whores to control the Wall Street abuse, it will never happen, they will just keep their hands open waiting on campaign contributions as American people line up for food stamp programs and bankruptcy filings!
It's going to come down to a line.
It's either Joe Schmoe will prove that he has a spine, and use force, or he will welcome his new masters.
It always comes down to violence. It's only a matter of when you're willing to accept that reality.
U GOT NOTHIN'
I'm sure Jamie will get a nice, fat bonus for this.
The coward folds when confronted by a real man!