How To End TBTF? Do What Vietnam Does: Sentence Bankers To Death By Firing Squad

Tyler Durden's picture

For the past five years, one of the most theatrical topics of superficially deep debate by both regulators and legislators has been a simple one: how to end the abuse of power and relentless gambling with zero fear of consequences by systemically important, Too Big To Fail banks, which led to the unprecedented 2008 spectacle of Goldman's Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson demanding that Congress give him a blank check to bail out anyone and anything (mostly his former employers) he deems fit.

The theatricality is also grossly comic, because every other week central bankers around the world release philosophical papers with scnietific notation including that fancy Integral sign, musing over the apparent unsolvability of this epic dilemma (just in case it is still unclear, the central bankers work for the commercial bankers) all the while the global megabanks get megabigger until, at one inevitable point in the future, JPMorgan Merrill Fargogroup of America Sachs will be the only bank left standing. And be in complete control of not only the country, but courtesy of its $1+ quadrillion "galatically important" balance sheet, the entire world.

What is funniest, of course, is that there is a gloriously simple solution to all the world's TBTF problems, one that could be enacted in a HFT millisecond by pulling the trigger, so to speak.

The solution comes from none other than that historic US nemesis, Vietnam, where unscrupulous financiers don't just go to jail. Sometimes, they get death row.

Global Post reports:

Amid a sweeping cleanup of its financial sector, Vietnam has sentenced three bankers to death in the past six months.


One duo now on death row embezzled roughly $25 million from the state-owned Vietnam Agribank. Their co-conspirators caught decade-plus prison sentences.


In March, a 57-year-old former regional boss from Vietnam Development Bank, another government-run bank, was sentenced to death over a $93-million swindling job.


According to Vietnam’s Tuoi Tre news outlet, several of his colluders were sentenced to life imprisonment after they confessed to securing bogus loans with a diamond ring and a BMW coupe. And last week, in an unrelated case, charges against senior employees from the same bank allege $47 million in losses from dubious loans.

Wait, so if you get the proverbial nail gun in the back of the head for a measly $25 million, what should banks that "received" trillions in involuntary taxpayer gifts get? Obamacare?

But these death sentences nevertheless are high profile scandals in Vietnam.

That’s the point. Human rights watchdogs contend that splashy trials in Vietnam are acts of political theater with predetermined conclusions. The audience: a Vietnamese public weary of state corruption. But these sentences also sound loud alarm bells to dodgy bankers who are currently running scams.


“It’s a message to those in this game to be less greedy and that business as usual is getting out of hand,” said Adam McCarty, chief economist with the Hanoi-based consulting firm Mekong Economics.


“The message to people in the system is this: Your chances of getting caught are increasing,” McCarty said. “Don’t just rely on big people above you. Because some of these [perpetrators] would’ve had big people above them. And it didn’t help them.”


Like most nations that crush dissent and operate with little transparency, Vietnam is highly corrupt.

Also, just like the US, only here the theft occurs at such a far more grand scale, that few can even conceptualize it, let along come up with an appropriate sentence.

According to a World Bank study, half of all businesses operating within the communist state expect that gift giving toward officials is required “to get things done.” Transparency International, which publishes the world’s leading corruption gauge, contends Vietnam is more corrupt than Mexico but not quite as bad as Russia.


Unlike in America, where judges can’t sentence white-collar criminals to death, Vietnam can execute its citizens for a range of corporate crimes.


Amnesty International reports that death sentences in Vietnam have been handed down to criminals for running shady investment schemes, counterfeiting cash and even defaulting on loans. This is unusual: United Nations officials have condemned death for “economic crimes” yet Vietnam persists with these sentences — as does neighboring China.


Though statistics on Vietnam’s opaque justice system are scarce, a state official conceded that more than 675 people sit on death row for a range of crimes, according to the Associated Press.


It’s still unclear how the bankers will be killed. Vietnam’s traditional means of execution involves binding perpetrators to a wooden post, stuffing their mouths with lemons and calling in a firing squad. The nation wants to transition to lethal injections. But European nations refuse to export chemicals used in executions (namely sodium thiopental) to governments practicing capital punishment.


Fraudulent bankers are receiving heavy sentences at a moment when Vietnam is enacting major financial reforms.

And guess what: it will work. Because there is nothing as deterrant to criminal, sociopath behavior than knowing that no matter how many trillions of derivatives on your balance sheet, the final outcome is a blindfold and a cigar.

Then again, in "democratic, uncorrupt" America, this solution will never take place, for the simple reason that the same bankers who would be executed, not only print the money that everyone else uses, certainly the politicians, but also own and run everything. So why on earth would they suggest the only thing that could possibly end the party?

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medium giraffe's picture

Even the Vietnamese are front running us now.  When will it end?

Say What Again's picture

I think we should print out this article, and send it to everyone on wall st. and in washington

Thought Processor's picture



Coming...........    to a town square near you.

NotApplicable's picture

Wait... they got caught embezzling $25M from their bank????

Do they really not understand rehypothetication, derivatives and all other wonders of modern finance?

Skimming is pretty fucking low-brow in this day and age.

Stackers's picture

I've got an even better solution. simply make it where bank executives are personally liable for bank losses with their own assets clearly listed in bank collapse payout schedules. Only thing worse than death to an oligarch banker is making one poor

Divided States of America's picture

Yeah..but if that (as in sentencing bankers and manipulators and insider traders to their deaths via gunshot to the head) happened in the US, wouldnt that result in the beginning of another Holocaust??

Anusocracy's picture

All it takes for evil to succeed is for people to want government.

0z's picture

What is Tyler trying to say?
That we ought to let the State kill more people?
I can't believe you said 'it will work'.
Are you that Naive Tyler?

TheReplacement's picture

Where did he say that?

The Alarmist's picture

Two thoughts:  


1) Pikers!

2) Does that mean each citizen doesn't get a turn with the gun?

GetZeeGold's picture



What caliber do the Vietnamese use in their nail guns?

chinoslims's picture

I would guess 7.62x39mm.  That's a big nail!

TheRedScourge's picture

Heeyyyyyyy CitiBanksters!

Off 'em Vietnam Style!

crazzziecanuck's picture

I firmly believe Jon Corzine should be forced to slip himself into his own body bag, then all the MF global "investors" get to fill a sock filled with $30 worth of nickels.  They form a line and each of them gets to take a swing at the body bag.

chinoslims's picture

You can't.  Banksters are too big to nail (gun).

Muddy1's picture

"Transparency International, which publishes the world’s leading corruption gauge, contends Vietnam is more corrupt than Mexico but not quite as bad as Russia."


Where does America rank?



Amnesty International reports that death sentences in Vietnam have been handed down to criminals for running shady investment schemes, counterfeiting cash and even defaulting on loans. This is unusual: United Nations officials have condemned death for “economic crimes” yet Vietnam persists with these sentences — as does neighboring China.


Putin and now officials in Viet Nam are out manuvering the US!!!  As for the UN, the ONLY reason they are not ranked for their corruption is that they are not a sovereign nation.

0b1knob's picture

Waste of amunition to shot them.

Ropes (for hanging) and  guillotines are reusable and more environmentally friendly.

Guillotines are already in place in many US military bases and FEMA camps.


Wjunk's picture

The scary thing about that link is there are otherwise intelligent, rational people who really think that all exists and is organized (of course) by the evil Jooooooos.  Smh.

General Decline's picture

an excellent way to harvest organs is by killing via beheading.  And the Joooooos are known for their illegal organ trade so, yes, I could see that.

teslaberry's picture

yea maybe we can also get some carbon credits from the eu . 

Groundhog Day's picture

duck season rabbit season duck season rabbit season bankster r season

Wjunk's picture

Outright stealing of $25million at 10:1 loan ratio?  Well, that's $250 million less to goose the economy.  That's a crime.

WTFUD's picture

Yes N.A they do!
$25 million equates to $2.5 billion in USSofA terms.
GDP of USSA = *$16 trillion
GDP Vietnam = *$155 billion

Wahooo's picture

The stole from a State-owned bank, so basically they are being executed for crimes against the State. Far different from banksters getting popped for causing the 2008 crash. I'm still waiting for that to happen.

cynicalskeptic's picture

Hey, Iceland jailed bankers for the same crap.  The US REWARDED them with trillions in no cost money.

jaxville's picture

OOOOH  I like this. Today we are all commies.

LooseLee's picture

I am going to send this article to BOTH Ohio Senators and Reps. I suggest anyone seriously concerned about the future of our country and our children do likewise. P.S. I want a firing squard for these POS financial analysts and media reporters, as well. Who needs their conformity to the status quo?...P.S. I regularly 'screw' with US Reps from OHIO and have been doing so since 2008. They don't even reply any more---pussies...

SheepDog-One's picture

I said this on an earlier article today, it seems the only solution to all the fuckery going on is to apprehend and life sentence (minimum) anyone caught even suggesting 'QE' debasing money or cheating and manipulating markets. What else will they listen to? Laws and bills? They scoff at them!

billhilly's picture

There is a commitee being formed to study and implement structural changes regarding banking theft and pillaging....I believe it is being chaired by the Honorable Jon Corzine

RafterManFMJ's picture

The danger of a so-called life sentence is it can be commuted.

ebworthen's picture

Some nations still have their feet on the ground.

U.S. in the clouds.

seek's picture

Steal from the government and you get treated very differently than stealing from the people.

B2u's picture

Maybe we should go to war with Vietnam....

Rainman's picture

....damn you funny, now I got beer snots everywhere

GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Hang banksters...

a firing squad is generally seen as being merciful.


ghengis86's picture

hanging is supposed to snap the neck, leading to a pretty instantaneous death.  The problem is, you've got to get the drop and slack right to do it (assuming a correct knot).  If it's not a long enough drop, with not enough slack there's not enough force to break the neck and the victim is asphyxiated and is basically choked out.  Death can take from 2 minutes to 30 minutes or more.  If you get too large of a drop with a lot of slack, the victim can be decapitated, leading to a messy clean up.  There's actually some math involved to get it right.


also, with a firing squad - at least by US execution standards (which is only Utah and maybe one other state that stills executes by firing squad) - aren't they targeting the heart and not the head?  I seem to remember its the victim, bound to a chair, with a black hood is seated 20-30 feet from a line of 5 shooters, each with a .30-o6 rifle with one having a blank (without the shooters knowing which one).


regardless, any death is merciful for these fucks...

Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Yes, firing squad aims for the heart.  More states are starting to talk about going back because the lethal drugs are not available anymore.

cynicalskeptic's picture

Polonium pellet.... long slow and lingering.  

Joenobody12's picture

The most fitting death for the bankers and assorted assholes is to make them swim in a swimming pool filled with untreated sewage until they are drown. 

q99x2's picture

That's what the Government did in the 1930s and it worked like a charm. In this case they should start with Loyd Blankfein for insulting the fabric of the Universe, then Jamie Dimon followed by Greenspan, Bernanke and Yellen.

Anyhow that ought to bring back a godzillion in prosperity.

Emergency Ward's picture

Da, mein ObamaFuhrer !!  First zee bankers, Senior ReichMaster Holder......Vee know you vill do a gut job.....zen zee dissenters, zen zee vistle-blowers......SS.....

Colonel Klink's picture

Gooooooood Moooooooooooorning Vietnam!  Bring that shit here too!

Al Huxley's picture

Those guys clearly did not pay enough for their government.  That's why they always say 'you get what you pay for'.

FuzzyDunlop21's picture

"Vietnam’s traditional means of execution involves binding perpetrators to a wooden post, stuffing their mouths with lemons and calling in a firing squad"

That'll work. Shit, I'll even bring the lemons myself

kurt's picture

Why waste the lemons? Some vodka, mint, crushed ice, pure water. We could then enjoy the executions with a refreshing drink!

It was a long standing tradition to attend hangings in this country. Gets the kids out and you can be thankful for what you have.

Byte Me's picture

Just the title... About time someone came up with the right (and only) solution.