Stocks, Bonds, And Gold Surge On Dismal Jobs Data Miss

Tyler Durden's picture


Bad news is the best news this morning. A higher unemployment rate and worse than expected job creation is the new mother's milk for stocks which kneejerked instantly to new record highs. Bond yields are tumbling and gold is surging (back over $1300) as 'investors' believe this will signal an un-taper (because QE did so much good for so long) or lower-for-longer chatter (so more buybacks?). The USD is fading fast also.



The USD is fading fast also...


AUDJPY in charge of stocks for now but notably USDJPY is not happy at all...


Charts: Bloomberg

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Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:49 | 4624399 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Stress points.  When something breaks, it's usually a 'snap' and it's done.  The break cannot be too far off.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:54 | 4624422 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

or somebody got some inside info on mondays weather report?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:57 | 4624429 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

What are these ""investors"" everyone keeps writing about?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:59 | 4624436 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Fuck, where is this "market" people keep writing about?

Keep stacking...

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:07 | 4624459 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Almost 10% of my assets under mgt. are in a zirp interest money mkt.

"investors" in this "market" are not "investing"

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:10 | 4624467 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

yes, yes, you are wise to be more concerned about the return of your capital, nevermind a return on that captial...

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:25 | 4624497 knukles
knukles's picture

Have we got a recovery here or what?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:51 | 4624624 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Government doesn't want a recovery.  Government wants as many dependents as possible.  It makes it easier to steal from the producers when you have the support of a majority welfare class.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:58 | 4624669 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Yes, confidence is so high after the BLS report that stawks are rolling over and PM's are getting a bounce. Watch for the bi-daily smack-down any time now. 


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:00 | 4624441 CPL
CPL's picture


The solomon islands and it's gold mines are now closed forever.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:50 | 4624401 jubber
jubber's picture its a shite figure but up we go again....sigh

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:51 | 4624407 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

The Federal Trading Desk sees something it likes in the numbers.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:51 | 4624409 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:52 | 4624411 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Errrm, I'm not very clever - can someone explain WHY she would untaper when the market's going UP on bad news anyway. Seems a perfect reason to KEEP tapering, the markets keep going up!


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:58 | 4624435 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

In order to be 'clever' today a frontal lobotomy is first required.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:52 | 4624412 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Its not 8:30 will be hammered

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 11:06 | 4624880 _ConanTheLibert...
Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:52 | 4624415 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

we need a diversion stat


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 08:55 | 4624425 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Investors' believe this will signal the untapering....yea whatever, free money junkies.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:04 | 4624450 Market Rage
Market Rage's picture

I don't think anyone really believes that.  It's just something you hear from MSM to lure in more suckers.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:02 | 4624444 adr
adr's picture

The real question is whether or not there are more people working in March 2014 vs 2013. The real number shows that answer. Throughout 2013 there were fewer people working than the year before. Tell me again how the economy added jobs with fewer people working? Can't be people retiring because the unadjusted numbers show job gains in the 65+ catergory.

So we are running at a supposed 2 million jobs per year rate. How many kids will graduate from college in May this year?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:03 | 4624446 mydogisprettier...
mydogisprettierthanyou's picture

Buy the fuckin fake numbers???

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:03 | 4624447 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

Most. Important. Jobs. Data. Ever!  >sarc<


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:26 | 4624498 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Certainly worth a post a day about small market movements, eh?

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:07 | 4624458 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Everything going acorrding to plan except Gold so expect the sewage to have some fraud like Gartman show up to knock Gold today!

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:14 | 4624472 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Silver appears to have some morning wood as well! But I suppose it's nothing a good beating won't remedy (sigh)

aka Monkey Hammer


Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:23 | 4624494 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

$16 sure is a surge....

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:27 | 4624504 RaiZH
RaiZH's picture

I guess it is, when you're so used to getting hammered for so long. 

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:29 | 4624515 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

We'll never know how much it would really surge (or fall) because circuit breakers are used in all markets including gold.  This has been well explained by Tylers.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:26 | 4624502 Latitude25
Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:41 | 4624523 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Are we really to believe if the payroll number was better that the market would be down? This is a systematic repression of free market principals. The Fed is responsible and the dysfunction is obvious.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:33 | 4624526 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

Every "disappointing" data point means the punch bowl stays around longer. MOAR MOAR MOAR LickWitTitty....

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:46 | 4624592 RabbitOne
RabbitOne's picture

A friend of mine and I were discussing QE. I blabbed my response and my friend said “… you and the press I read are all forgetting one thing…Yellen is female! I doubt that she has the same risk profile as Helicopter Ben or any male Trader on Wall Street …. I expect that she going to try to clean up this mess in her feminine way that is risk adverse and continue to taper…you never considered that did you… ”  and no I had not considered gender as a factor…interesting…

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 09:53 | 4624640 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

Sorry, I don't get it. Maybe I'm not reading ZH long enough.

Here is what I understand so far (in no specific order):

LIBOR - manipulated

FX - manipulated

HFT - manipulated

Gold price - manipulated (obviously)

Unemployment rates - manipulated

Inflation data - manipulated (come on!)

US government bonds data - manipulated (Belgium!)

Balance sheets of major banks - massively manipulated even with the o.k. of the regulators (what happened to "mark to market" again after the financial crisis? exactly.)

and then what I don't get:

stock markets - we are surprised every time there are some  for us unexpected moves????


I would be curious to get some ZH readers opinion on this. For example: wouldn't it be enough for a couple of big enough pension funds or bankers guys to "agree" over a beer what to do (buy or sell, yes or no, 0 or 1, black or white) just after say

- jobs data

- Yellen appearing on TV (*)

- some dude on CNBC mentioning XYZ or just

- no news at all

and then buy the corresponding "thing" plus maybe some calls for example on April 1st PCLN (or sell and buy puts for example this morning PCLN) and as a consequence make tons of money out of it? The sheeps that sold calls or puts will pick up the bill.

Just wondering....

*PS on Yellen: is she real? She looks like a scared robot! Puleeeeaaase don't tell me she is where she is because she is such a "great communicator". And shouldn't communication be ESSENTIAL in this job? And the "6 months" were way too important to be a mistake. Could this answer have been "placed" there so that the public would not be questioning if there is a major "surprised" reaction of some market participants?

Also, I can't stop watching this over and over again:


"...and agency mortgage backed securities and agency mortgage backed securities..."

and this one:

"In terms of the situation in Ukraine and Russia ah it's something that we are monitoring very closely.
We discussed - ah - in our meeting the direct trade linkages or exposures of the US banking system
ah to the ukraine and russia ahm are not large thats - we're not seeing meaningful impacts now but ahm
obviously there are geopolitical risks here that - it's very important for us to be attentive to and to keep our eye on
and aaahm we're not seeing broader global financial repercussions but - ah if this were to escalate that would cerntainly
be somthing that would be on our radar screen but we're not seeing - we're not seeing that now and we're monitoring closely".

A robot. For sure.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 10:05 | 4624692 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

and your point?......... Money can be still made in a rigged casino....  its fairly obvious what they are trying to do.... raise stock prices, hammer PM's....  Play along.  I swam against the tide for a long time, now I will try going with the flow.  Barring a black swan, no reason not to see 1950 before too long and 2000 S&P before year end (perhaps alot sooner).  Also likely to see $1200 gold before $1400....


This wealth affect is the only thing holding the house of cards together, if that fails then well....  Canned food and shotgun shells.

Fri, 04/04/2014 - 13:31 | 4625467 AdmTirpitz
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