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General Motors Week Summed Up In 2 Cartoons

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Harsh... but fair...

 

 

 

Source: Cagle

 

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Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:33 | 4628195 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Why did the driver cross the road?

The driver couldn't recall, but GM <or insert favorite auto mfg> sure did.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:34 | 4628204 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Buy a GM made Car and get a Detroit home thrown in for just a penny more...

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:36 | 4628210 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Who was that chick getting her ass kicked up on Capitol Hill this week?

I thought O'Barry was the CEO ;-)

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:40 | 4628213 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

O'Barry is the owner, he hires and fires CEO's...

Fascism at its finest.

DaddyO

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:41 | 4628217 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Ahah!

Got it now, its the continuation of the War on Women.

(Its all so confusing sometimes...lol)

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:52 | 4628241 666
666's picture

I find it hard to have sympathy for those who were injured or died in a GM vehicle, because they should have known it is a POS product by now. Perhaps this is a form of Darwinism where the mentally strong survive by knowing instinctively to avoid GM vehicles.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:02 | 4628269 CH1
CH1's picture

We've all done stupid shit at one time or another. We shouldn't have to die for it.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:07 | 4628278 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Sorry, but that's EXACTLY the essence of the natural selection law.

If you're too stupid to stay alive, well then...

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:22 | 4628300 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Haah...apropos, what do you think of this?

At 40 MPH on a highway...

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/the-spirit-of-india-in-one-pi...

ori

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:37 | 4628329 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

A most excellent recumbency, but imo I would trust him over the Oriental drivers of the SF Bay. ;-)

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:52 | 4628363 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

I know of what you speak Skateboarder. Between my time in the South Bay, SF and Marin, every time my eyes espied a lady oriental driver within striking range, I did my famous evasive manoeuvre to "git outta her right, left and zigzagging way!!!"...

ori

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:58 | 4628376 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Maybe just a simple operator problem as he thought that the headlamp switch was cruise control/auto-pilot...

or he was a circus performer out practicing…

Regardless, he is obviously a liberal and supports Obama.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 16:03 | 4628485 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I damn near got sideswiped by one driving a Mercedes the other day as she couldn't figure out which building to turn into and occupied the bike lane parallel to me. Regardless of whose fault it is, I know who ends up paying the bills in a Mercedes vs. Toyota case. "Get the hell away from me lady!", I said out loud as I sped ahead to safety.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 16:10 | 4628497 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Supposed true story.

Insurance claim adjuster questioning accident victim stated that "He needed to to use the bathroom, so client set the cruise control on the RV and left the drivers seat."

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 17:46 | 4628669 nevadan
nevadan's picture

Well, at least he has a helmet strapped on the back of the seat.  Just in case....

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 00:06 | 4629328 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Just in case.....the irony of it is staggering :-)

Mon, 04/07/2014 - 12:52 | 4632691 de3de8
de3de8's picture

666, like those douche bags who SOS for help in middle of Pacific. But noooooooooooo, a fortune will be spent to save so can add to douche bag gene pool.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:54 | 4628245 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

War on Gender Equalization.

Women who don't know how to cook and men who don't know how to use a screwdriver. Huzzah!

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:01 | 4628384 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

No worries, if this GM 'thingy' doesn't work out, we can always transfer those union workers and hook them up as Obamacare workers.

Solved...

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:51 | 4628471 Freddie
Freddie's picture

UAW is also the owner.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:41 | 4628218 Rainman
Rainman's picture

I think her name was ' Patsy '

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:47 | 4628232 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...good one...if I understand the issue with the ignition switches right, people were hanging cinder blocks on the key chains and expecting the switches to not malfunction.

Not a defense of GM by any means (I went over to Ford after government "protected" them) but thats what understand about the safety issue. People had all kinds of crap on their key chains and the weight is what caused them to malfunction.

Could be wrong...but thats what I understand about it.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:58 | 4628256 daveO
daveO's picture

GM has had bad switches since at least 1979. I have a 79 Pontiac that I had to replace the switch. After the first replacement, took all the extra keys off. Didn't help. It went bad in a few years. Bought a used '90 Buick, switch went out within a year. Replaced it. The replacement only lasted about 3 years. No extra keys on it, either. On these two cars, you have to pull the steering wheel to replace switch. So, now(still have both cars) they start key free! On Fords, just push a small button and the switch comes out.GM has all kinds of bad designs. The Buick motors make up for a lot of them.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:44 | 4628346 nmewn
nmewn's picture

GM is definite pain to tear down in order to get it out.

Done it many times and you could "impression" the Fords (if you lost your key) by looking for the nicks and filing them down, used to be a locksmith back in the day...among other things ;-)

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:22 | 4628302 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Man, don't bum me out...lol...yeah I heard about that but I don't think .gov was ever issued stock in Ford.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 18:28 | 4628730 epobirs
epobirs's picture

Ford Credit, which is a bank. Not the same thing as the bailout of the car company itself, which is what happened with GM.

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 08:42 | 4629623 nickt1y
nickt1y's picture

So only GM owners are stupid enough to overload their keychains?

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:15 | 4628291 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Don't feel too sorry for her, as she came up through the departments involved with engineering the parts that are at fault for the failures.

See this comment by ZH commenter, Dewey Cheatum Howe:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-04-01/gm-ceo-mary-under-bus-barras-wh...

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:28 | 4628434 Leaping Lizard
Leaping Lizard's picture

Is she a mechanical engineer or an MBA?

 

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 08:49 | 4629629 Umh
Umh's picture

Both an Engineer and MBA.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:38 | 4628211 ThatGuyEhler
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This new and exclusive offer, brought to you by TARP.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:06 | 4628394 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Add a free team of Navy SEALS and you gots a deal.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 16:36 | 4628539 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Anyone who drives a Volt just screams:

"I'm easy influenced..."

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:47 | 4628227 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

 

A man in his 40's bought a new Cadillac CTS convertible and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Cadillac CTS," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 120.... then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer. GM Acronyms Genital Motors Government Motors General Maintenance General Mistakes Generally Malfunctions General Misery Great Mess General Malpractice Give More Getting Malignant

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/corporatejokes/gmjokes.html

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:47 | 4628233 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Three words GM can't say:  "we have ignition."

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:24 | 4628429 falak pema
falak pema's picture

three words GM can say : we have dysentery.

Lets hope its not Ebola virus. 

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:48 | 4628234 booboo
booboo's picture

But the government made money, tiny tim giethner said so.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:26 | 4628311 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

"government made money"

 

Sweet -- then da gubermint will have lots of $$$,$$$,$$$,$$$.$$ to compensate those they've killed...

 

 

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:35 | 4628324 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Buy high sell low. Crooked morons.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:51 | 4628237 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

We have specific specs, but inferior parts are inadvertantley shipped, we just lower our specs threashold and use those parts anyhow to save money. Enuff said. Their 2nd bankruptcy should be glorious.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:00 | 4628377 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

I have to say my 88 Olds Cutlass Sierra was Rock solid and a blast to own and drive. Bullet proof.

That said, they will not go bankrupt, simply morph (transformers FTW!!!) into the military manufacturing behemoth that they really always were and grew up being.

Will fit nicely into the "no more stockings for patriotic wimmin" 2016 timeline.

ori

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 19:43 | 4628949 acetinker
acetinker's picture

I can vouch for your statement about simply lowerlng the test requirement-  The thing is, every component is sourced from the lowest bidder who has cut their own margins razor-thin (or simply allowed GM to dictate what the price is), so the incentive to cut corners is exceedingly high.

Add to that a just-in-time supply chain so that when fuck-ups happen (all the time) you can't just reject the bad parts without shutting the whole assembly line down, and that would be bad for the shareholders don'tcha know?

To be honest, it's truly amazing that more things like this don't happen.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 22:18 | 4629202 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Oh yes, but to lay the thing at the feet of the brand new CEO is totally, utterly insane.  She may have risen to her level of incompetence via the 'Peter Principle', but she is the fall guy/gal, in this instance.

Oh well.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 13:54 | 4628247 ronron
ronron's picture

General Moaners.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:04 | 4628270 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Years ago, when shopping for a new car, I was looking at a Dodge and opened the hood - the engine looked like it was made out of tin that was spot-welded together.  I then looked at a Toyota's engine and it looked like a substantial piece of engineering art.  Have not owned an American car since....

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:13 | 4628289 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Seeing the engine on my Corolla (!) sealed the deal for me, as well.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:45 | 4628349 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Funny you said that.

I have been using used Chrysler vans in my business for over a decade because I can by them cheap, much cheaper than a used Honda or Toyota, and can plan for their typical issues (For over a decade they have know that the S-belt comes off if water get into the engine compartment during a downpour or if a puddle is hit just right. One has to retro-fit the tensioner with a special third-party kit. Over a DECADE!!!). I use them up and then resale them cheap.

Anyways, I almost always nearly shed a tear when I am on the lot and comparing the engines of the Toyotas and Honda with the "lump" in the Chrysler. The Toyota and Honda motors are a marvel of engineering, while Chrysler has been using the same ol' same ol' for over a decade.

My family cars are NOT DC US brands.

 

Sidenote: My dad was one of those that stayed with DC US made until he got a too good to turn down deal on a used Toyota sedan in the mid 2000's. Loves it and still drives the hell out of it.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 13:33 | 4636184 fallout11
fallout11's picture

I've owned two GM pieces-o-s*** when younger, and vowed "never again" over two decades ago. GM continues to lose-customers-for-life, and have been hemorraging them nearly continuously since the 1970's. Can't see them as a going concern outside of "government motors" in a few more years, with many GM vehicles now "hecho en Mexico".

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:06 | 4628277 LetsGetPhysical
LetsGetPhysical's picture

What did the NHTSA know and when did they know it? I find it VERY hard to believe that they knew nothing about this for 10 + years. Should let this POS company go bankrupt when we had the chance. 

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:03 | 4628387 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"What did the NHTSA know and when did they know it"

BB "Before Bribe": They knew all.

AB, "After Bribe": "I see nothing–NOTHING!"

I think that the apropos questions is: "How much and to who?"

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:30 | 4628314 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Isn't that the U.S. Kleptoligarchy in a nutshell?

Sacrificing the lives of the innocent for the sake of the corporate/government and military industrial complex cabal.

Not to mention sacrificing the savings and assets of generations for the sake of Wall Street and bankster profits.

A society willing to sacrifice it's young and the conceived yet unborn for money and expediency is broken.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:30 | 4628315 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

I still like this line, was it in 2010? I think it was here on ZH:

"You wouldn't buy our shitty cars, so we'll be taking your money anyway."

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 14:38 | 4628332 CuttingEdge
CuttingEdge's picture

That second cartoon should have in small print at the end:

"...unless you are Max Hastings in which case the CIA/NSA are responsible for deploying a different kind of airbag - one that goes pop"

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:16 | 4628421 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Garbage motors

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 15:31 | 4628440 knowshitsurelock
knowshitsurelock's picture

If you like your GM car, you can keep your GM car.

For those who as yet do not have a GM car in their immediate household, a new executive order will be issued to mandate that you are required to acquire a GM vehicle, preferably the Chevy Volt, and if you fail to comply, a penalty will be exacted and withdrawn from your tax return.

This mandate will be non negotiable as it is in the best interests of all and our national security.  No exceptions.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 16:05 | 4628489 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Every time I stop next to a Chevy Volt, I pray it doesn't explode in my face.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 17:38 | 4628659 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Funny Skateboarder.  For some reason, it's the other way around if I'm in my Volt.  Since all of one total-lossed Volt went up in flames in a storage shed at NHSTA 3 frigging weeks after the crash, and a gasoline car fire happens every half an hour - with fatalities more often than not, I'm more worried if you pull up alongside me, which is why I rocket away, in silence, running on solar power.

In other words...it's become more than obvious that ZH's new owners have "illiquid" investments in big oil.  And there are a hell of a lot of "useful idiots" here.  Which is why I don't comment here often anymore.

Never argue with an idiot - they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

 

It's obvious that facts have no currency here.

 

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 01:20 | 4629391 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I'm a fan of skateboards for a reason. Buses and skateboards. I use the car when I need to.

No comment on TED from me, but here's a little story by John Francis that aint too bad. About oil spills.

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_francis_walks_the_earth

You have no idea how scared I am that my own engine is going to explode in my face. One must always accept the inevitable. ;-)

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 16:13 | 4628504 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

This is all sound and fury signifying nothing. Never ever once did you hear the CEO utter anything about responsibility. Courts will decide it's the old GM responsible, good luck there. The rest is just . . . circus.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 17:33 | 4628643 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Responsibility is not in their job description. Their job is to sell. Sell us shit that we don't need, sell us shit that don't work. Sell us promises of what will never come, or at best come from someone else's pocket.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 17:33 | 4628645 patb
patb's picture

The VOLT gets good reviews.  Try one out.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 17:57 | 4628684 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   I'm at this estate sale today, low & behold. I find an original dealer booklet/brochure for the 1966 Chevy Chevelle.

      I wonder what that's worth in Al Gore's "reverse hockey stick" world?

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 18:20 | 4628711 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

YC, try this search...

http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p3984.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.H0.X196...

Not much out there, I thought it would have a little higher value

DaddyO

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 19:34 | 4628930 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Yen: It's the same going rate as buying an inverse hockey stick coupled with a Rodney Dangerfield triple Lindy dive shoved up Al Gore's huge, overfed ass.

If you need further detailed info, subscribe to my newsletter for only $19.95 per minute.

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 18:58 | 4628833 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Used to own American, still do for a few pre 1970 classics.

But experience taught me.  Had one GM where the distributor would randomly cut out and leave you stranded.  On another the whole engine actually fell out - the cradle holdoing the engine cracjked and dropped it in the road.   Had a brand new S-10 (because i could fir 4x8 sheets in it and it had 4 doors - no other mid size SUV's did then).  Thing rusted horribly and had more issues than I can count.  Replaced with a Chrysler that had the computer randomly die - great when you've pulled onto an Interstate in front of a Semi.  The brake lines on that rusted out in 5 years - pretty common according to my mechanic.  The Chrysler convertible my wife had leaked so bad that it had puddles in the back.  Thing smelled horrible from the mold and mildew.  The Ford convertible she had before that was mediocre at best - though she survived getting T-boned by a garbage truck.  Our Ford minivan has a horrible front suspension and got recalled for rear wheel bearing mount failures.  Intake manifold had vacuum leaks from warping and a bunch of other issues.

I now have Japanese and German cars.  My Japanese SUV is well designed and has had NO issues - rear window goes down so I can load long lumber and a 4x8 sheet fits in the back.  My wife loves her German convertible - only 'issue' is low profile tires on big rims (horrible for potholed roads - kill one a year minimum so you'd better have tire/rim insurance).

I really really wanted to buy 'American' but.....I finally gave up.

 

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 12:06 | 4629846 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i don't think you have been able to buy a wholly desined, engineered and assembled american car for fifty years. the unions and the management saw to that. the parts are made elsewhere, with "emerging market" labor that is not subject to the union rules that put the american, the british, the french and the italian mass produced cars out of business.

manufacture is assembly of kits imported in parts from other countries. this is globalization. export jobs to places without unions that prevent quality and pride. check out what barriers teslar faces. management and unions conspire to delvier crap.

what is surprising is that german cars have such a much higher track record for design and reliability. i personally find french, italian and japanese cars to be complete crap, tinny, whiney, bits drop off (inside and outside) and are just as unreliable as "american" cars. so how do the germans do it?  they have unions, they globalize, yet there end product is significantly better. 

Sat, 04/05/2014 - 23:35 | 4629291 Hurricane Harry
Hurricane Harry's picture

Ross Perot is a prophet.

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 00:24 | 4629348 Joe A
Joe A's picture

If GS had known about this faulty car then they would have taken positions against the life span of the owners.

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 04:27 | 4629475 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Subaru, bitches.

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 05:07 | 4629483 Rock On Roger
Rock On Roger's picture

Bitchez

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 09:22 | 4629674 Doctor Faustus
Doctor Faustus's picture

446,000 miles on my 2001 Subaru Forester with original engine, transmission, & struts. And yes, I drive a lot. 

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 05:23 | 4629489 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture

GM Terminated

Monsantoed

Sun, 04/06/2014 - 15:46 | 4630308 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Is government motors going to be fined $1 billion like toyota was?

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